Second Chance Encounter
by FebruaryAquarian
Summary: Harry and Lily survive Voldemort's attack. Lily goes somewhere she thinks will be safe and runs into someone familiar and the last person she would expect: Severus Snape.
1. Chapter 1: That Fateful Halloween Night

_*Edited version: I will be slowly editing the chapters. I am working on correcting any and all typos or slight grammatical errors. I may add a few things here or there that I think makes the chapter sound better. No beta, all edited by me. I hope all of my errors have been caught this time. I will be reposting all the chapters for anyone who might wish to read them (if you have already read them and don't want to read the edited up versions that is fine. I completely understand). Feel free to pm or review for any errors. I would like these to end up being almost free of mistakes (I don't expect perfection though). Thanks for all who have reviewed, alerted, and/or put this story as one of your favorites so far. There's plenty more chapters to come. Thanks for reading! _

**Chapter 1: That Fateful Halloween Night**

"Is Harry asleep?" James asked. Lily nodded as she sat beside her husband. They had only been discussing the war for a short time when they heard a conspicuous knock. James peered out and looked back at Lily with horror.

"Lily, get Harry, run, hide. I'll try and stall him." She hesitated. "Run!" She ran upstairs and as she entered Harry's room, she heard the lock break. She grabbed Harry. The wards had been broken.

"Run, James, run to us." She said to herself out loud. Just then, she heard the very words she hated so much.

"Avada Kedavra!"

"No!" She said in horror. He was gone. Her husband was gone. She had to save Harry. She heard someone coming up the steps. "No, no." She had to think fast. "Apparate." She shut her eyes and thought about somewhere she once felt safe. They disappeared into oblivion as the door shot open to Harry's room.

Lily landed on the grass and looked at Harry. He had thrown up on her blouse. _Perfect. At least they were safe._ She looked around. She was in her old neighborhood. Her parents didn't live there anymore. They had passed away already. Still, that thing didn't know where she grew up and she highly doubted he'd ever come here.

It was dark. Harry whimpered. A rumble of thunder rang in the air. She had to find a place of shelter. A restaurant, anywhere. Tears formed in her eyes as she took off down the road. She was not sure where to go or what to do at the moment. She heard a noise and turned around. A cat. When she turned back, she hit something.

"Watch where you're going!" The man snapped at them, but then gave a gasp. "Lily?" Lily looked up in shock.

"Severus?" She had forgotten he used to live here too. How could she have forgotten? "You never saw us, understand?" She started away.

"Lily, wait." She stopped. "What happened?"

"He's after us. I'm sure you knew that, being one of them." She said it cockily, but at the look of shock on his face, she winced. He hadn't known.

"But, he, how? You were supposed to be hidden."

Lily was rather shaken that he knew that bit of information."How did you know that?" He winced. "Tell me, dammit!"

"I told,"

"Voldemort where we were! You traitor!"

"NO! Not really. It's a long story, but no. Dumbledore was supposed to hide you. All of you."

"I know he hid us, but why would _you_ know that?"

"The prophecy."

"What?"

"The prophecy. It's my fault. I just never thought he would believe such nonsense."

"What?" She was still confused. He looked guilt-ridden. "What did you do?"

"I overheard Trewlaney make a silly prophecy. I was a spy for Voldemort. I gave him what I heard, thinking it was utter nonsense. He didn't think so and decided it meant you and your baby."

"How could you?" The hurt in her voice was unmistakable. It made him cringe inside.

"I didn't know. It was hogwash, or so I thought."

"Why you little" She stopped. "Was a spy? What do mean by that? You aren't anymore? He promote you? What? To find us?"

"NO!" She jumped in surprise. "I don't work for him anymore. I went to Dumbledore. He was supposed to protect you. How could it fail unless someone ratted you out?" She gasped.

"He wouldn't have!"

"I wouldn't put it past Black to do that. He was your secret-keeper, right?"

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"Pettigrew was."

Severus's eyes grew wide. "You are still friends with that rat?"

"James is, but why would you care?"

"I saw him."

"Where?"

"At the last Death Eater meeting. I thought you all had dropped him." Lily nearly dropped Harry, who was asleep in her arms now.

"No! No, he sold us out?" Tears began to fill her eyes again. She felt dizzy. It was all too much at once.

"Come on, we have to go to Dumbledore. I mean, Professor Dumbledore. Hogwarts is safe. We can apparate once away from here."

She didn't know why she trusted this man who was once her best friend. Something told her he would not harm her. Deep down, she knew he never would have harmed her.

"What happened to your shirt?" He asked suddenly.

"Oh, Harry didn't take kindly to being apparated, I guess."

"Where's Potter?" He asked with a sneer until he saw Lily's face fall in misery. "No."

"He's gone." She choked back tears as they walked. Out of sight, they apparated outside the gates of Hogwarts and entered inside the castle where they found Dumbledore wandering the corridors. The students were all in bed this time of night.

"Albus!" He turned.

"Lily, dear. What happened?"

"James. Voldemort. He came after us." She choked back tears, not wanting to break down right now. "He killed James. I got Harry and we got out just in time. He was coming for us, I heard him upstairs as we left."

"Oh, no. No, how did he find out?"

"Pettigrew." Severus spoke before Lily could. "He's a Death Eater."

"You saw him?"

"Yes, sir."

"Black suggested Pettigrew. He thought it would be safer." She was shaking.

"You put your trust in the wrong person." Dumbledore said before turning to Severus. "Just like someone else I know."

Severus put his head down. Lily could have easily died tonight because he had trusted Voldemort and all because of a silly, stupid prophecy. If she had died, he never would have forgiven himself.

"I must find Black and inform him of what happened and that you two are okay." He started to leave the room. "Oh, um, Severus?" Severus looked at the Headmaster. "Take Lily and Harry to your place for the night. It should be a safe location. It'll be the last place Voldemort would look for them."

_Take Lily to his place?_ He rarely ever let Lily in the place when they kids, but that was because of his father mostly. The man no longer lived there. His parents were both gone now. It wasn't quite the pigsty it was when they children, but it was still a drab place.

"Yes, sir." He agreed reluctantly.

Dumbledore left and they followed. Lily wasn't sure she wanted to go Severus's place, but Dumbledore seemed to trust him. They left the grounds once more and apparated, landing at Spinner's End. Rain was pouring down. He led her inside, unsure how this was going to go. He expected this would end up being a complete disaster.


	2. Chapter 2: Civil Conversation

_A/N: I apologize for my error in the last chapter. It's "Avada Keda__**vr**__a", an uncaught typo on my part. *now fixed*_

_Thanks for the reviews __**Jordina**__ and __**Warbles4life. **__I appreciated your kind words. And wow to all those who put this on alert! I'll do my best to update often since I am on break for the next month and will be working on my writings. _

**Chapter 2: Civil Conversation**

Lily stepped inside the home with Harry asleep at her hip. It was the last place she wanted to be right now. She had hardly spoken to the man since their fifth year. Saying it was slightly awkward to be staying at his home was an understatement.

He shut the door and turned on the lights. "So, um." He cleared his throat. "You can have my bedroom for the night. It's on the left upstairs."

"Oh, no, I couldn't." It was his house, he should keep his room.

"I insist. You are the guest. I'll take the couch. I have no other beds in the house."

"I'd take the couch."

"I like the couch. You and the baby can have the bed. I won't take no for an answer." He smiled at Lily. A genuine smile he hadn't given in a few years. She gave him a slight smile back.

"Oh, alright. I still hate putting you out."

"You aren't, I promise." It was silent.

"Well, I'll just put Harry to bed then." He nodded and she went up the stairs. She turned on the light to the bedroom and sighed. She was exhausted both physically and emotionally. She was still trying to wrap her mind around everything that happened the last hour. Lily laid the sleeping Harry in the middle of the bed so he wouldn't roll off. Just to be safe though, she added bars to the sides of the bed.

"Oh, Harry. I hate that you don't have a daddy anymore. I hate that I don't have my husband anymore." Tears swelled up in her throat and stung her eyes again. She stroked her son's hair. He was sucking his thumb. "I love you so much, Harry. I'll figure out how to help you. I'll leave the country if I have to, whatever it takes. I will never let that evil bastard harm you. I promise, Harry and your mum keeps all her promises." She paused. "All except one." She sighed. "I'm going to go back downstairs and wait for news from Dumbledore. Sleep well, my precious little one."

When she came back down, she found Severus in the kitchen. He looked up from The Daily Prophet when she entered the room.

"Can I get you anything, Lily?" She shook her head. "You sure? Tea? Coffee? Something stronger? Firewhiskey? Malt Liquor?" She looked at him.

"I don't think alcohol will help my situation."

"No, but it's good temporarily." She let out a stiff laugh.

"I don't think that's a good idea, though it's tempting. I don't know if I could stop."

"I really am sorry, Lily."

"Yeah, right. You hated James."

"Yes, that's true, we hated each other. That doesn't mean we wanted the other to die."

"I'm sorry, Severus."

"Don't." He put his hand up to stop her. "Don't you dare put any blame on yourself. If anyone is to blame, it is me. I'll shoulder that burden the rest of my life." He poured himself some butterbeer.

It was quiet for a moment. "No, it's not your fault. You just spoke some silly prophecy. You realized your error and tried to make amends. Pettigrew shoulders this blame. He's the one who knowingly sold us out."

"I shoulder some blame, Lily. I still told the Dark Lord the prophecy and he believed it and went after the one he believed it to mean. He went after your son, but failed. Let's hope he doesn't find you. I doubt he will here."

"Let's hope not." She glared at him. "Why do you still call him the Dark Lord?"

"Bad habit. I work as a spy and he calls meetings quite often. It's what I have to call him and I forget not to. Besides I can't bear to call him, Vol-you-know-what. I won't give the megalomaniac the satisfaction."

Lily didn't answer. "I think I'd like a butterbeer if you have one. If not, I might take you up on the offer of firewhiskey." A smile crept up at the corner of his mouth as he got up to get her a drink.

He set the glass of butterbeer in front of her with the bottle next to it. "Here, but I think firewhiskey would be better for you tonight."

"Don't tempt me." She took a drink. Something stronger might have been more appropriate, considering what all had happened, but she knew she might end up drinking too much. Getting drunk would not be a good idea. She knew drowning her sorrows in a bottle would not help her situation nor would it make it all go away.

"A strong drink can always numb the pain." He said with a dry laugh. Lily knew better. Despite what had happened between them, she still knew him too well. She knew that under his sarcastic tone, there was pain to that statement.

"I'm already numb. I don't know how to feel. I'm still trying to process everything." Tears filled her eyes again as she thought of James. She choked them back. She didn't want to cry in front of him, despite the fact that he had seen her cry many a time before. She cleared her throat and took another drink.

Silence filled the room again as they polished off the bottle.

"Should I get a firewhiskey this time?"

She chuckled, but she didn't know why. "Didn't I say not to tempt me with alcohol, Severus Snape." He just smirked and looked at her. She looked back at him. They both realized just then that they were having a civil conversation, the first one they'd had in over five years and they were even joking a little. Neither would have thought this possible, but yet here they were.

"I may be tempting you, but it's because I know you and know you want a strong drink." She smiled and suddenly started to laugh. She had no idea why she was laughing, but she couldn't stop and it didn't take long for her to dissolve into tears. It all hit her at once. She started to sob hard, unable to compose herself or choke the tears back any longer.

Hardly a moment later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, Severus. He's really gone. James is gone and he's not ever coming back. My parents are gone and never coming back. You-Know-Who is after my son, my precious baby, he wants my baby gone. I knew he was evil, but why Harry, why my baby? Why a baby at all? He's all I have left!" She buried her face into his chest, crying harder than she remembered crying for a long time. He hesitantly put his arms around her. He'd always hated to see her upset, but this took the cake. His heart ached for her. He hadn't touched or held her at all for over five years and while he had missed it and longed for it, he had hoped he had forgotten all about her. With his arms around her, all those old thoughts came rushing back and he realized he had never let those feelings go.


	3. Chapter 3: Night at Spinners End

Thanks to **Hello_Nurse2005, Warbles4Life, Sapphire Addict, Magik Dreamer, Mrs. SRE Snape, xx Camille Elizabeth Storm xx**, **Melzdog123 and sevy MMAD** for the very kind reviews. I am rather flattered by your sweet responses. You all seriously made my day! :D I was quite shocked this morning when I saw the amount of e-mail I had gotten overnight. I nearly dropped my cereal bowl! The response I got was beyond the scope of anything I imagined. I can't promise to update every day. I know I won't be updating tomorrow. I will, however, try to update as much as I can until the semester begins. Oh, and as to whether or not Severus and Lily end up as friends again or a couple, I won't say. You'll just have to keep reading and find out ;)

**Chapter 3: Night at Spinners End**

Lily finally calmed down once she started to feel sick to her stomach. Severus let go and handed her a handkerchief. She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose, trying to gather her composure once more.

"I don't know where Harry and I will go now. I probably need to get him out of the country."

"Well," He cleared his throat. "I agree with Dumbledore. This would one of the last places You-Know-Who would ever suspect you to be. He thinks I work for him. Why would I house a-"

"Mudblood?" He cringed at that word.

"I was going to say muggleborn, but in his eyes, yes. Not in mine."

"It's not like you haven't said it before." She said. He cringed, seething at the memory.

"I know. And I had no right to call you that. I'll never forgive myself for calling you that awful word. I took my anger and embarrassment out on you and well," He twisted at the collar of his robe. He hated to admit any failure. "I was wrong. I truly am sorry. I always will be."

"I forgave you for that a long time ago."

"It cost us our friendship." He said, clearing the table.

"Our friendship was already on the edge before then. You were following the Death Eaters. I thought as long as we were friends you wouldn't follow them. When you called me that, I was hurt. I could have forgiven it, but it just confirmed to me that you were heading down that path. I couldn't be a part of it. It pained me to let the friendship go, but it just wasn't going to work anymore." She sighed. "I didn't understand why you wanted to be a part of something like that, something so evil. You weren't like them, but you were determined to belong there. I know the Slytherins gave you a difficult time because of me. A Slytherin befriending a mudblood like me was not the right thing to do."

"Don't call yourself that." He snapped. "Your blood isn't dirty." He huffed. She just looked at him with a confused expression. He knew she was pondering on what he was saying. She had always given that expression when she was deep in thought or was unsure what to think.

"I think I just wanted to be accepted by my housemates. I cared about you. I never wanted to hurt you, honest. I wanted to be different than the Marauders, I guess. I also wanted revenge for they did to me. Maybe I thought it would give me power. Maybe I wanted to prove something. Maybe I wanted to impress others. I'm not really sure. I just know that whatever my reason was, I was a fool."

"_I was even more of a fool to let you go."_ He thought, but didn't dare say it.

"I accept your apology this time."

"What?" He was surprised.

"I accept your apology this time because I know you mean it. I couldn't last time because I knew you were still going to be with Avery and the other creeps. I knew you were sorry, but I didn't believe you wouldn't do it again." She sighed. "You aren't 16 anymore. You changed. I believe you won't call me that again." He didn't answer and decided at that moment, he'd tell her the truth or some of it anyway. There was no need to discuss everything right now.

"Lily?" She looked up. "I have a confession to make." She raised her eyebrows curiously. "I was a spy for the Dark lord before I renounced my ways. I took the mark." She looked at him slightly horrified. He put his left arm on the table and rolled up his sleeves to show her. Her face paled and her hand flew up her mouth.

"You let him brand you?" She exclaimed with revulsion.

"I was a Death Eater." He put up his hand to stop from responding. "Here me out. It's actually useful. You see, the Dark Lord still thinks I'm his spy." He looked her in the eyes. "But I'm not his anymore." He took a deep breath. "Dumbledore wants me to stay a Death Eater, but under different circumstances."

Lily, clever as always, knew immediately what he meant. "Dumbledore wants you to be his spy." Severus nodded. She wasn't sure what to think about this. She needed to grasp the idea.

She sighed and looked at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. "I think we better head to bed. We should talk more about this in the morning." She got up from the table.

"Your blouse still has vomit on it." He noted. She looked down.

"I forgot about it. I'll scrub it off so I won't make your bed smell."

"I have a few shirts you can use if you want. At least until you can get some clothes of your own anyway." He treaded carefully with his words, not wanting her to be reminded too much of her predicament.

"That would probably be better. Thanks." She started to leave the room, but turned back at the doorway.

"Thanks for all this."

"It's not a problem. Honest." She smiled at him, a genuine smile. It had been a long time since she'd given him one.

"Well, good night, Severus."

"Night, Lily." She left the room and went up stairs. He got up and headed to the living room. He put a few charms on the couch to make it more comfortable before lying down.

While Severus didn't have much trouble falling asleep, Lily did. Every time she drifted off into a peaceful slumber, her mind replayed the events of the evening over and over. Each time she heard her husband telling her to run. Each time she heard those dreaded words of the curse: Avada Kedavra. Those words etched in her mind and kept confirming her reality. Her husband was gone. She was alone with Harry. The truth was so much harder to accept than the fantasy. All her dreams of marriage, children and growing old with the man of her dreams had come crashing down on her.

Each she woke up from the frightening scenes in her mind, she saw her baby beside her, fast asleep. It comforted her. Thank heavens her little boy was okay. She had to be strong, for his sake. He needed a mother who wasn't falling to pieces. She was a Gryffindor, she was brave, and she would get through this. She would be okay.


	4. Chapter 4: Pot Calls the Kettle Black

_Thanks to __**DracoMalfoy1980, Warblers4Life, Sapphire Addict, jn.v13, Vessa8 and HughsoSexy**__ for their nice reviews. Don't worry, I'm not stressing over updates. I do, however, tend to work best under pressure for some reason. I only update when I like what I've written, though I always seem to have a few tiny mistakes. Do forgive me for those, I edit the story myself and editing your own work is not easy. I do have limited time to write before classes begin and I will have to go on a hiatus once they do. _

_This chapter is mostly from Severus's POV. He will be included with his views more as the story goes along. I really wanted to emphasize Lily's views in the beginning and all she would have to deal with if she had escaped. _

**Chapter 4: Pot Calls the Kettle Black**

Severus was awoken to a loud whishing sound. He sat up quickly and saw Dumbledore coming out of the fireplace. Attached to Dumbledore's arm, with great animosity on his face, was the last person he ever wanted to see in his home: Sirius Black.

"Morning, Severus. I take it Lily took your bed for the night." Dumbledore spoke with a smile.

"I offered it, yes." He said, eyeing Black with utter loathing. Black glared at him with the same contempt.

"I know it's a lot to ask, Severus, but I need you make sure Sirius doesn't leave your home until I give the all clear. We are searching for Pettigrew as of late and Sirius here is intent on killing him. I'd like to keep Pettigrew alive."

"Why? I don't get you, Dumbledore! The monster sold James, Lily and Harry to Voldemort! He deserves nothing less than death!" Severus had never seen Black such a mess before. His temper was uncontrolled and he looked a bit mad. "He helped kill James!" Black pushed his hands through his hair; gripping it with such strength that Severus thought he might pull it all off. That would be a rather humorous sight. Black looked like he was about to collapse in a nervous breakdown. This was entertaining. It would have been even more so if the situation wasn't as terrible as it was.

"Sirius, please, calm yourself. I know what he did, but killing him won't solve anything. He needs to be alive. He'll be sent to Azkaban. The dementors can have him."

"You can't find him!" Black yelled wildly. "He killed them all! He disappeared!"

"I know what he did and we will find him."

"No! He's a rat! All you could find was his goddamn finger!"

"Ok, can I be filled in at some point? What happened to Pettigrew?" Severus asked, growing irritated by the nonsense talk and not being clued in.

"Oh, shut it, Snivellus! It's none of your concern!" Severus glared daggers at Sirius. Sirius glared right back.

"None of my concern, Black? You are standing here, yelling in my living room and Lily is upstairs. Don't tell me it's none of my concern. I'm involved!"

"You are a Death Eater! Of course you are involved! You are involved with that maniac!"

"Was a Death Eater, Black. He was one. He's not anymore." Dumbledore said calmly. "Pettigrew disappeared. Sirius here tried to confront him and Peter took his wand and let it explode behind him down a road. About a dozen muggles were killed in the outburst. Afterwards, he vanished and all anyone could find was his finger. We have several aurors on the hunt for him as we speak. When we find him, he will be put on trial and sent to Azkaban. I have no misgivings on that fact."

"What about the Dark Lord?"

"Voldemort has vanished for now, but I doubt he is far. No word from him on his failure to capture the boy, I presume?"

"Nothing yet, but that's fine with me. The consequences won't be pretty. He will be quite angry."

"Of that I have no doubt. I trust you to tell me what he is planning next and if he has any idea where Harry is hiding. He will be after Harry. He won't give up."

"You have my word. When he calls, I will let you know."

"I don't believe him and don't trust him. I'm not staying in Snivellus's house! I will not be with someone who is in You-Know-Who's good graces." Sirius interrupted the conversation.

"He's helping us, Sirius and you are staying here. It will be safe. I can't have you becoming a murderer."

"The bastard may be in rat form!" Sirius shrieked out

"You really have gone off the deep end, Black." Severus said, looking at Black as though he'd lost his marbles.

He laughed wildly. "No, he's a rat. Pettigrew is a rat, an animagus. His animagus form is a rat." Dumbledore looked shocked at that news.

"A rat animagus? How on earth did he become an animagus?" Black looked guilty.

"Well, we, us, Pettigrew, Potter and myself that is, we all became animagi. We did it to help Lupin during his-" He looked at Severus as if he didn't want to say something with him there. "-change."

"I already know Lupin's a werewolf, Black." Severus said nonchalantly. Black looked irritated to Severus's pleasure. Severus sneered at this knowledge.

"What is your animigus and what was James?" Dumbledore asked Sirius, ignoring the strife.

"Potter was a stag. I was a dog. Lupin was more controlled with us around as animals. We made sure no one got near the shack or anywhere close to Remus." Severus clinched his fists as he recalled what Black had done in their fifth year. The stupid prank he pulled could have nearly killed him.

"Really, Black? I recall differently." Sirius turned to Severus and gave a sneer. Severus glared at Sirius.

"Severus?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Do not kill or put Sirius in the hospital. Same goes for you, Sirius. Promise me that."

Severus and Sirius looked at each other with complete abhorrence. "Fine. I won't put Black in the hospital . And I won't kill him. Promise."

"Sirius?"

"Oh, fine. I won't harm him. I promise."

"What's going on down here?" The three men turned to see Lily coming into the room.

"Lily, how was your night?" Dumbledore asked, ignoring the men.

"It was fine, considering."

"I'm glad to hear it. Black is staying for the day or until we catch Pettigrew. I must be off now. You all have a splendid day." He turned and disappeared.

"Lily." Sirius said. "Where's Harry?" He sounded almost panicked.

"Upstairs asleep."

"I'm so glad you and Harry are alright. I saw James when I got to the house and figured you were gone too, all the rubble. It was everywhere. Dumbledore arrived and said you and Harry were okay. He said you were safe." Tears fell out of Sirius's eyes. This was shocking to Severus. He'd never seen Sirius so out of it nor had he ever seen him in tears. He figured Black didn't have those emotions in him. "I'm so sorry, Lily. I never should have suggested Pettigrew."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's Pettigrew's blame alone. Don't feel guilty for something you had no control over. He fooled everyone." Black nodded.

"I'm sorry you had to be stuck here with Snivellus." Severus looked daggers at Black. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Sirius, don't call him that. He's been a fine host. He offered harry and I his bed. I would have happily taken the coach, but he insisted."

"Yes and it's probably the only time he's ever had a girl in his bed." Sirius mocked.

"Do you want me to take back the promise I wouldn't put you in the hospital?" Severus said, glowering at Black. Sirius took out his wand. Severus did the same.

"Can't handle the truth, Snivellus?" At that, Severus muttered a hex at Sirius, knocking him off his feet.

"You already broke your promise. I told Dumbledore we couldn't trust you."

"I did not break my promise, Black. I promised not to kill you or put you in the hospital. I did not promise I wouldn't hex you." Black threw a jinx at Severus, who blocked it and it knocked back. Sirius blocked it and it evaporated.

"Enough!" Lily shouted. "You are both adults. Do try and be civil." Suddenly there was a cry from upstairs. "Harry's up. I'll get him and we can go into the kitchen and have some breakfast."She started up the stairs. "And put those wands away before someone gets hurt!" They both put their wands away.

Severus started down the hall to the kitchen.

"I don't know why James had to marry someone like my mother." Sirius mumbled. Severus heard.

"Now, Black, I highly doubt Potter would approve of you comparing his wife to your mother." He'd met Mrs. Black once. She was a rather unsavory woman. While Severus's gut still wrung at the thought of Lily marrying Potter, he couldn't resist making a snarky comeback. "It's quite an insult to Lily."

Sirius scowled at Severus, but Severus ignored him and started a pot of coffee. Neither spoke, even after Lily came back down with Harry. She turned one of his seats into a high chair and put Harry in it.

"Would you like some help with breakfast, Severus?" She asked him.

"No, I was just fixing some hot cereal. I hope that's alright."

"It sounds great and Harry can eat it himself." She looked at Harry. "Do you have some fruit? Maybe a banana?"

"Yes, over by the bread basket." She got up and took a banana and used her wand to slice it for Harry. He took the bites eagerly as the adults all sat down for breakfast.

"Thanks for the food, Snivellus. But next time wear a frilly pink apron. It would be much more entertaining." Severus glared daggers at Sirius. Sirius paid him no need and continued. "Oh, and you need to be barefoot and we can charm you to look pregnant. A woman's place, eh?" Sirius laughed at his own joke. At that moment, Lily took _The Daily Prophet_, rolled it up and smacked Sirius hard upside the head with it to Severus's satisfaction.

"Ow! Hey!" She glowered at Sirius.

"Woman's place my arse, Black."

"Well, weren't you barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen a year ago?" She smacked him again. "Stop that!" All of a sudden, Black was hit with some of oatmeal. "What the-?" He looked at Severus, who threw his hands up, claiming innocence. Harry giggled and bounced a little in his seat before using his spoon as a catapult once more at Black, hitting his nose.

"Harry No!" Lily exclaimed, rushing over to Harry. Harry attempted to fling another spoonful of oatmeal, but Lily stopped him. "No, Harry."

"No!" He said back. "Hit man."

Severus smirked. "You know, Lily. I like your kid already. Getting even with Black. He has potential. Even if he is Potter spawn."

"You say that like it's a bad thing, Snivellus. James was a great guy." Severus was ready to give a comeback, but the look on Black's face stopped him in his tracks. Sirius had just spoken of James Potter in the past tense and it clearly pained him. He rethought his words.

"I disagree, Black. Let's just hope that for the world's sake, Harry takes after his mother."

"He's the spitting image of James. He looks exactly like him."

"Looks aren't everything, Black. Let's hope his personality isn't similar to Potter's." Severus turned to Harry. The boy did look like a pint-size James Potter. There was no denying he was James's kid. Severus felt a sick chill down his shine at the thought of another James Potter in the world and turned back to his breakfast to forget about it.

At that moment, Harry turned to Severus. Severus looked up, sensing someone watching him. He spotted the child scrutinizing him with intent interest. Severus slowly met Harry's stare. Their eyes met with intensity and they locked upon the other's gazes.


	5. Chapter 5: A Rough Day

_Thanks to __**Piscesgirl35, Warblers4life, Jordina, Happyangel14, Harrylee94, Singingequestrian89, Kinole009x, **__**jn.v13**__, __**HughsoSexy **__and __**DarkShadow-24 **__for their reviews. You all made my day! Every review I've received so far on this story has been very kind and encouraging and I appreciate them very much. Thank you! _

_To answer some Q's: I plan on having this go to the final battle, but first Voldemort has to be destroyed (it's still the first war). This will skip a few years eventually. It won't drone on and on through Harry's childhood. Just important bits will come up when they affect the future. Sirius and Severus won't become friends in my story (sorry if that is disappointing), but they will end up having a grudging respect (sort of) for one another. Black is Harry's godfather, after all. They will tolerate each other, but they will never like each other. _

_I will try to update here and there after classes begin in a couple weeks, but it won't be regularly. If I have any free time, I will update, promise. In addition to classes, I will be working as a college tutor during the year. It pays quite well, actually. When I'm not in class, working or tutoring, I am usually studying, writing papers, doing projects, and workshops. So you see why updating will be difficult. It doesn't mean I won't try anyway when I am able. _

_Oh, and sorry about the cliffhanger last time, but I felt it was the logical end to that chapter. _

**Chapter 5: A Rough Day**

Lily. That was all Severus thought as he looked at Harry's emerald green eyes. There wasn't a trace of James Potter in them. He belonged to Lily. He was Lily's son. Severus realized he was staring and turned his gaze from Harry. He was both Lily and James and he couldn't think about James and Lily together.

Harry was still watching him, his head slightly cocked. It was making Severus uncomfortable as he finished his breakfast. He hoped that if he ignored the boy, he'd look somewhere else. Maybe he'd fling more cereal at Sirius. Severus would like that.

A knock at the door stopped everyone in their tracks. Harry stopped staring and turned to look behind him. "Door." He said, pointing over his shoulder. Severus got up and took out his wand. Lily jumped up and ran to Harry, pulling him out of the high chair so fast, she nearly knocked it over. Sirius pulled out his wand as Severus headed to the door.

"If you have to, run out the back door and apparate. If it's the Dark Lord, I'll stall him." Lily was horrified, taking quick steps to the back door. She held Harry with one hand and the doorknob with the other, ready to run if necessary. Sirius was now on his feet, his wand pointed at the front door. Severus slowly unlocked and opened the front door, his wand out, prepared for the worst.

"Easy there, Severus." It was Lupin. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"You know, Lupin, I think it's the first time I've ever actually been happy to see you." Severus put his wand down from Lupin's forehead and turned to the others. "It's just Lupin." Lily let go of the doorknob and Sirius put his wand away and ran for the door. Lupin came inside and Severus shut and locked the door back. Lupin and Sirius gave each other a quick embrace and a handshake.

Lupin turned to Lily and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank heavens, Lily. I'm so glad you two are alright. Dumbledore sent a message and I came back as soon as I heard. I am so, so sorry. I can't believe Peter betrayed us." Anger engulfed his last sentence. "I can't believe James is, he's, "

"Gone." Lily finished, choking back tears once more. She held Harry close, who was fussing with her to let him down. The house was silent. Severus wasn't happy about having two marauders in his home. He decided to break the silence.

"Dumbledore isn't forcing you stay here against your will also, is he?" He asked Lupin. Lupin chuckled.

"No, Severus. I just had to check up on Lily. Dumbledore told me she was with you."

"Does everyone in the Order of the Phoenix know Lily is here? Is that a safe idea considering what happened before? Wasn't the scoundrel part of the Order? Look what happened."

"We wouldn't dare betray her like Pettigrew." The spite in his voice was obvious. "Only Dumbledore, Sirius and myself know of her whereabouts. Dumbledore also told me you are his spy." Severus glared at Lupin.

"And this is a problem?"

"No, not at all. It's very brave of you to pretend to be under Voldemort's good graces, fooling him into giving you important information. I know I couldn't manage the feat. I also came here to discuss-"

"Sounds like a foolish thing only you would do, Snivellus. What happens if You-Know-Who finds out? He'll kill you, you know that?" Black interrupted Lupin, focusing on Snape.

"I'm well aware of the consequences. I also don't plan on him finding out, Black. I have already fooled him once. I will have you know that I am quite accomplished at Legilimens and Occulmency."

"You can fool Dumbledore the same way. I bet you are just waiting until the next Death Eater meeting so you can turn Lily in."

"If I wanted to betray Lily I would have already done so, Black. All I had to do was press the mark and use a spell with my wand. They wouldn't still be here. Use what little sense there is in your thick skull and think."

"I hate to bring it up, but we have to." Lupin interjected. "Dumbledore has James's body at Hogwarts for now." It clearly pained Lupin to talk about this. "He says James wanted to be buried at Godric's Hollow." Lily nodded. She put Harry down and he walked around the kitchen, looking around at the strange place.

"Yes, we'd talked about it, but made no plans, officially. We were actually discussing this when You-Know-Who arrived. We both feared we might die in this war and were preparing for the worst."

"Dumbledore found a nice plot for him and is planning on having the funeral tonight if that's okay with you. I think he just wants to make sure everyone who wants to pay their respects can come. If it's too soon, I can have Dumbledore wait another day."

"No." Lily said, her face contorted, as if trying not to show emotion. "Tonight is fine. I just don't know what to do with Harry. I don't want him there, but I'm also terrified to leave his sight. It'll have to be with someone I can trust not to hurt him and will keep him safe from You-Know-Who."

"I'll stay and watch him." Sirius said, painfully. "He's my godson, after all."

"No, you need to come and pay your last respects. He was like a brother to you. Same for Lupin." Lily sighed and was deep in thought. Suddenly, she perked up and turned to Severus. He looked at her, fearing what she was about to ask him to do. He'd say no. He was not watching the Potter spawn. No way.

"Severus?" He met her eyes. "You probably don't want to, but can I ask a small favor?" _No way_, he thought in his head. _I'm not watching your kid_. "I trust you to keep him safe. You've given us a place to stay. Just for a couple hours this evening. He's not old enough to understand and so many people will be there, upset and likely fussing over him. I don't want to upset him. Besides, I fear the possibility of You-Know-Who finding out about the funeral. He's after Harry. You know this. I'd rather soon die than lose my baby."

Severus listened, feeling torn. On one hand, he didn't want to babysit. He wasn't the babysitting type. He certainly never wanted to babysit Potter's kid. On the other hand, Harry was Lily's child too. She was right to worry about him going and she needed his help. He was the only one who had no desire to go to Potter's funeral and who would also keep the boy from harm.

"Oh, fine." He wasn't going to tell Lily no. Even if that meant babysitting the brat. "What if the Dark Lord calls while you're gone? What will I do with the kid then?"

"Floo him to my mother's home." Lupin said, taking out a quill and some parchment. "Here's her address. She can't come to the funeral because of her ailing health. She can watch the kid for a few minutes while you go. Let's hope you won't have to worry about that."

At that moment, there was crash. Harry had tried to grab a bowl of berries, but failed, knocking the bowl to the floor. "Uh-oh." He turned to his mother, who was running to him. "I sorry."

"It's alright, Harry. We'll clean it up." She pulled out her wand and cleaned up the mess. "Sorry to make you put up with Harry, Severus. It won't be that long."

"I'll bring some of Harry's toys from my place here before we go. Sirius and I will escort Lily to the funeral. I hope you don't mind, Lily, but I don't trust Death Eaters to be on the lookout for you and Harry. All of the Order of the Phoenix will be there, so the funeral itself should be safe." He turned to Severus. "Except Severus, but I understand. They weren't exactly friends."

"That's putting it mildly, Lupin." Severus sneered.

"Well, I best get going. I will be back around 5:30 tonight." They said their good-byes and Remus left the house. It was quiet for a minute.

"I'll be in the next room making potions if anyone needs me." Severus got up and strolled into a room off the kitchen.

"I need to change Harry and then I think I will take him out in the backyard to play. I could use the fresh air. I also need to get some robes for tonight." She left and went upstairs. Sirius was left in the kitchen by himself. He decided he'd read the rolled up newspaper.

0o0o0o

"Lupin." Severus said as he opened the door.

"Evening, Severus. How was your day?"

"Fine. They are in the living room." Lupin came inside and followed Severus into the living room where Lily and Sirius were sitting on the couch.

"You look lovely, Lily."

"McGonagall sent some clothing this afternoon. She didn't want me going to Diagon Alley."

"And I don't blame her. It's not safe for either of you to be out right now."

"I know, Remus. I know." She sighed. "Well, let's get this over with." Lily gave Harry a big hug and several kisses. "Bye, sweetie. I love you. You behave for Severus, okay?"

"Okay." He said, though Lily knew he probably didn't have any idea what she meant. She got up quickly and headed out the door before she could rethink her decision to leave him. Remus and Sirius followed her out.

"Don't make it easy for him, Harry." Sirius whispered. "Make him run for the hills."

"I heard that, Black. I can handle a baby for crying out loud." Sirius just sneered. They left, closing the door behind them. Severus turned to Harry.

"Mama." His lower lip started to quiver.

"Don't even start." Harry quieted. Severus grabbed the bag of toys Remus had left and turned to go to the kitchen. "Come along, Pot-Harry." To Severus's surprise, the boy followed him. He would keep the boy entertained with the toys while he worked on some potions.

Severus stopped in the kitchen. Harry bumped into him and fell backward. He got back to his feet. Severus pointed to the bag. "Here. You can play with some toys." Harry just looked at him. Severus rolled his eyes. He looked through the bag. "You want the ball?" Harry didn't move. "A book?" Harry stuck out his lip and tears pooled his eyes. "Come on, kid. I need you to play." Harry whimpered and started to cry. Severus wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't used to crying toddlers.

Before he could think of a way to calm Harry down, Harry vomited all over himself and the floor.

"Just great." Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. He took out his wand and cleaned up the puke. At least Harry hadn't had any dinner yet.

Harry continued to whimper. Severus sighed. A sick child wasn't part of the deal. His plans for a quiet evening were now thrown out the window. It was going to be a long few hours.

_**A/N:**__ This will speed up soon, but I really wanted to highlight the happenings of those first couple of days. I also wanted to show the relationships between characters. I am not sure how many chapters this will be in all. I just know the direction I want this story to go. _


	6. Chapter 6: A Long Evening

_Thanks to **HughSoSexy, Harrylee94, MissDracoMalfoy1998, Kinole009x,Singingequatrian89**, **GravityonEarth **and **Jordina **for their lovely reviews. Once again, they are appreciated and made my day! And apologies to **DarkPhoenix-24**, I really have no idea why I thought it was Shadow. Sorry about that. *blushes*_

_I usually update every couple of days, but it will depend on many factors. Life for one tends to get in the way. I've never had luck on my side. ;) _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 6: The Long Evening**

Severus decided to see if Lily gave any directions for a stomach soother for babies. As he read over the directions, he heard Harry retch again. He shut his eyes and rubbed his temple. Why did the child have to be throwing up? Couldn't he just have a simple fever if he was going to come down with something? And why did the urchin wait until Lily was gone before deciding to vomit? Perhaps there was more James Potter in him than he thought.

He cleaned up the mess once more and took a dropper with some soother potion and forced it down Harry's throat. Harry coughed and made a face, but at least it was staying inside him to Severus's relief.

He decided to use the disinfectant spell to clean the floor. He may have used his wand to mop the mess up, but it didn't make the floor sanitized. Severus figured he should give the kid a bath too, since he did throw up himself. He picked Harry up. Harry didn't fuss.

He went upstairs and stuck Harry in the tub. Harry continued to whimper off and on. A few times he cried for his mum. Severus wished Lily had stayed. She'd know better than he did how to take care of a sick baby. He never had any siblings and was never around young children. He normally avoided them like the plague.

After Harry was clean and in new clothes, Severus brought him back downstairs. He sat Harry on a towel on the floor. Harry started to cry again. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "_Please do not barf again_." He thought. "_I just cleaned you for crying out loud."_

Harry did not throw up; instead he reached his arms up to Severus, wanting to be picked up to Severus's shock. "_Oh, no. He was not playing this game. He was not letting this kid get attached to him. Not Potter's kid. No way."_

Severus tried to pretend to ignore Harry, figuring the kid would get the idea that Severus was not going to allow this.

As Severus started over to the couch, he felt a tug on his cloak. He looked down at Harry and Harry pressed his face up against Severus's robes and peered up at him with Lily's green eyes. He was still crying. Harry reached his hands up once more, indicating that he wanted to be picked up. Severus glared down at the child, who did not cower, but instead buried his face into the cloak.

The child wasn't getting the message that Severus did not want to deal with this. Harry would not stop crying and the incessant whining was driving Severus crazy. Why was he doing this? Why did he agree to watch the brat? Severus ran his hand over his face. He thought of James and inwardly cursed to himself. "You owe me, Potter. I'm going to make sure when I die that you remember what I did for your brat." He said out loud, eyeing the ceiling. "And I will see you in the afterlife because you and I both have a one-way ticket to hell."

After his rant to an invisible James, Severus looked down at Harry. "Okay, just stop crying already." He picked Harry up. Instantly, Harry stopped crying. Severus grumbled to himself. Now the brat stopped? This kid was going to drive him insane. Harry just looked at him with tear stained cheeks. He tried to set Harry back on the floor, but the result was more fussing and tears. As soon as Severus picked him back up again, he stopped crying to Severus's frustration.

"You are a pain of kid, you know that?" Harry just sniffed, snot running out of his nose to Severus's disgust.

Severus gave up and sat down on the couch with Harry. He put Harry beside him, hoping the child would be fine, but Harry just started to cry again. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "What do you want from me?" Harry crawled onto his lap. Severus seethed at his misfortune of being stuck with a toddler and a sick one at that. Why on earth was the child growing attached to him? He did not want that at all.

Harry didn't seem to notice Severus's displeasure at being stuck with him. He put his thumb in his mouth and laid his head against Severus's chest. Instantly, Severus wanted to put the child down. He stopped just short of doing so remembering that the child would only start to cry again. He cursed to himself before thinking about Lily. He'd promised to take care of the kid. Lily would not be happy if he ignored her ill baby.

Harry's eyes were closed and he was clearly asleep. _Good_, though Severus. _Now he could get some peace and quiet. _Severus started to lay Harry on the couch, but Harry opened his eyes and started to whimper, clinging to Severus's robes. Severus rolled his eyes. Harry laid his head back down and shut his eyes once more with Severus grumbling to himself about his luck or lack thereof. He was not going to get anything done tonight because of this kid.

Severus looked at the time. It was 7:30. The funeral would end by eight, so Lily would be home soon to take Harry off his hands. Severus shut his eyes to rest for a minute. The next thing he heard were footsteps coming up the walk.

He opened his eyes and looked at the clock. It was 8:15? He hadn't intended on falling asleep. He looked down and Harry was sound asleep. The door opened and Sirius and Lily walked inside. Their eyes were red-rimmed and Severus could tell they had both been crying.

"What did you do to Harry? He looks terrible. Did you curse the poor kid?" Severus scowled.

"Oh, Severus, I do appreciate you watching him. I hope he wasn't too much trouble." Lily said, clearly ignoring Black's statement.

"Not too much, minus the vomiting and incessant crying." She gasped.

"He's sick. Oh, I knew I shouldn't have left him, I-"

"He threw up a couple times, but he's fine. Nothing I can't handle." He looked at Black as he said this.

"I will stay on the couch tonight, Severus. I know you don't want an ill child in your bed."

"No, take the bed. You both could use the rest." Lily smiled and went over to the couch and swept Harry's messy hair out of his face.

"He does look a little ill." Harry's eyes fluttered open. "Maybe I should give him a bath."

"I already gave him one."

"Did you give him some stomach soother?"

"Yes."

"In the dropper because he can't take-"

"Yes, Lily. I gave him the exact amount you wrote. He's probably due more soon if he's sick again."

"When did you give it to him?"

"About 5:45."

"Well, thank you." She gave him a sly smile. "Harry seems comfortable with you."

"Oh, please, Lily." Sirius said. Harry started to whimper and Sirius took Harry off of Severus. Harry's whimper turned into a cry. Sirius held him close. "It's okay, Harry." Harry's cries seemed almost pained. Lily grew nervous.

"Sirius, maybe I should-" Before Lily could finish her sentence, Harry exploded. Vomit splattered all over Sirius's shirt. Lily quickly took Harry from Sirius. "Sirius, I am so sorry."

"Oh, come on now, Lily. It's not your fault. He's only a baby."

"Well, I for one am glad it was you he barfed on and not me." Severus got up off the couch. "First, he throws cereal at you and now he throws up all over you. I'm thinking Harry doesn't like you much. I guess he takes that after his mother." Sirius looked daggers at Severus to Severus's delight.

"He became ill while you watched him, didn't he? Was it from looking at you? Swallowing too much grease, perhaps?" Severus knew he'd touched a nerve.

"Good comeback, Black. Harry didn't vomit on me. In fact, I couldn't get the kid to stay away. He seems to have taken a liking to me." Severus sneered as Black clenched his fists. The brat was good bait.

"Oh, please, Snivellus. You are-"

"Guys, please, don't start." Lily interrupted.

Severus glared at Black for a moment. "I think I will make up a bed in one of the extra rooms upstairs tonight. You can take the couch or sleep in the old doghouse out back. If you chose the couch, change shirts first."

"Not such a good host after all, huh, Snivellus?"

"Yes, well, I actually like Lily. Unlike you, she's a nice person. I am only tolerating you because Dumbledore asked me too. Night, Black." He headed out of the room before turning back. "Lily." Severus smirked. "And Harry." Black looked at him angrily. Severus gloated on Black's unhappiness as he got ready for bed, but his happiness was short lived as his left arm began to burn.


	7. Chapter 7: To Catch A Rat

_Thanks again to all my readers and those who have put my story on alert. Thanks to **Harrylee94, Piscesgirl35, HughSoSexy, Shinywhiteboards, Warblers4Life**, **Jordina, Kinole009x** and **Darkprince31 **for their lovely reviews. They are always appreciated and I love to read your thoughts. They have all been so kind and keep a smile on my face :D_

_I think that if someone took the time to leave me a comment about the chapter I put up than I need to acknowledge my appreciation. Most people don't and that's fine. I'm sure most people appreciate the comments they receive, even if they aren't openly acknowledged. I wholeheartedly appreciate every comment I receive and take each into thought and consideration. Thank you for all the wonderful comments you have left on my story as well! _

_To several commenters: Voldemort is still at the height of his power, Harry does not have his scar here. _

_I was going to post this yesterday, but I got busy and didn't finish. Then The Glee Project came on and yes, everything stops so I can watch the show._

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 7: To Catch A Rat**

Severus bolted out of bed, clutching his arm. "Dammit!" He cursed out loud. "Why now?" He headed down the stairs.

"What's the rush, Snivellus, didn't bother to tell Lily you don't own any shampoo?" Severus ignored Black and summoned his robes and mask. He had no time for bickering.

"You are a Death Eater!" Black exclaimed, eyeing the robes. "I told Dumbledore, I-"

"Dumbledore discussed this already. I don't have time for explanations." Severus opened the door and a rush of cold air came into the warm house. "Keep the fleas off my couch." He closed the door behind him.

Black was hurling an insult, but Severus did not hear it, only a raised voice. He left the yard and apparated away.

Severus arrived at the Malfoy Manor. "Nice of you to show, Snape."

"Evening, Bellatrix. I see you haven't been thrown in Azbakan yet?"

"Of course not. Why would I go there?"

"Um, for torturing the Longbottoms into insanity, perhaps?"

"You care about those traitors, Snape?" Rodolphus asked with a sneer.

"Not one bit, but now they will have to be cared for in Mungo's until their death. And you didn't find out any other information, so it was a waste of time, wasn't it?"

Bellatrix laughed. "Ha! They were worthless beings. You should have seen them, as they withered and screamed in agony." The delight about the torture in her eyes made Severus feel slightly sick to his stomach and he tuned her out. Maybe he was just catching whatever stomach bug the Potter brat had, but he knew better. He figured it would have been better to have just killed the Longbottoms and much more humane. A life spent living in St. Mungo's, not knowing which end was up or who you were wouldn't be a life at all. He swallowed his nausea and turned back to the Lestranges. "-hiding their squib spawn."

"Well, my friends, I am unhappy." Voldemort spoke. Severus cringed on the inside. He waited for the moment. It only took a minute. "Crucio!" Severus felt pain in every inch of his body and that was one reason the thought of the Longbottoms sickened him a little. The curse was horrible done once, let alone near hundred times in a row. He got up as Voldemort spoke with Gregory Goyle. Severus knew he'd hear it about Potter. Severus put up his occulmency shields, ready to lie. This was the hardest part of being a spy. Voldemort would kill him on the spot if he ever found out a Death Eater was betraying him. Severus knew he was convincing and he could fool the beast, but it never made it easier.

"Severus?" Severus stepped forward. "Pettigrew here helped me break the wards to get to Potter." Voldemort pointed to his right at a squat of a man. Peter removed his mask. Severus seethed inside. He had to have self-control and it took every bit of strength in him to keep his shields up and not leap across the table and strangle Pettigrew to death.

"Snape? How are you?" Severus clenched his fists, digging his fingers into his palms so hard, he knew he was drawing blood. He understood now why Black wanted to kill Pettigrew. He felt the same. Probably the only thing the two of them had in common. "Pal?"

"Pal, Pettigrew? You and I have never been pals and you and I will never be pals." _The only relationship we'll have is that of murderer and victim, but calling you a victim is far too kind. I'd surely get an acquittal and a thanks for ridding the world of your sorry ass. _Severus thought to himself. Peter recoiled a little at Snape's murderous gaze.

"Pettigrew? You have proven yourself semi-worthy. I managed to rid the world of James Potter and break into the house."

"Yes, my Lord. Thank you. Anything for you, my Lord." Pettigrew bowed several times. His devotion to Voldemort was like his former devotion to Potter. Severus felt he might vomit.

"But, I failed to kill the boy. He and that mudblood disappeared. Any news of their whereabouts, Severus?" Severus heard snickers around him, but he expected this.

"No, sir, other than the fact that Dumbledore sent them into hiding. He will not tell anyone where they are hidden. After all, an old friend they trusted betrayed them. He's not flippant this time with news, no thanks to the rat." Severus gave Pettigrew a cold stare of pure hatred and disgust. Peter recoiled.

"Very well. I thought you may have heard something. After all, you did ask me to spare the woman, didn't you? Why, Severus, you never told me? Does my spy have a crush on a mudblood?" Severus ignored the jeers and wolf whistles among the other Death Eaters.

"We were childhood friends, sir. She may be a muggleborn, but a friend is a friend. I don't want to see her dead. There has never been anything more than friendship between us, ever." He was careful not to speak the word `mudblood' and he hoped no one noticed. They didn't appear to be aware of his deliberate slip. Voldemort didn't question him anymore either. He accepted the lie. He definitely liked Lily as more than a friend, but he could never admit this.

"You still disappoint me, Severus." His gaze met Severus's and he pointed his wand. "Crucio." Severus felt pain grip his whole body once more. His insides burned with intensity. He should be used to this, but he never was. The pain was horrific. He always felt like he was either dying or wanted to. He always managed to fake it and seem as if he hardly felt a thing, but he felt it all, painfully.

Once more he stood up, his body revolting against him as he did so. He took it, wishing someone would give Voldemort the Crucio. If he could dish it, he could also take it. Besides, he longed to see the man getting a taste of his own medicine. Imagining the Dark Lord screaming like a girl was a pleasant thought. Seeing it actually happen would make his day.

"I will not stop until I find the boy. Any word, Severus and I want to know."

"Of course, my Lord." Severus said with a slight bow. _Anything, your evil hind-end. Your royal pain in the ass. _Severus thought to himself. _But you will never hear a word. You won't touch Lily. Over my dead body._ Severus knew that his thought could very easily be a reality, but if he had to die to keep Lily safe than that was what he would do. He wasn't afraid of dying and he wasn't going to let any harm come to her again.

"Any word, you know where to find me. I will take the Potter boy down if it is the last thing I do!" Severus was clearly the only one who saw the irony in that statement. Voldemort disappeared and the others began to dissolve. Severus caught sight of Pettigrew and clutched his robe as Peter apparated away. They landed at a guest home outside of Rosier's manor.

Peter, clueless as ever, had no idea that Severus had a hold of his robes. He had no idea that Severus was watching him. He was oblivious to the fact that luck was on side, thanks to Dumbledore. If Dumbledore hadn't ordered Pettigrew alive, Severus would throttle him right now. Before he could get caught, he apparated home. He entered the house, his legs buckling in the doorway, causing him to collapse to the floor.

He stiffly got up, hearing footsteps coming toward him. "Severus, are you alright? God, you look awful. What happened?" It was Lily.

"Sell us out yet, Snivellus?"

"Never." Severus said.

"What happened to you?"

"Curse. Potion. In Lab. Third shelf, second from left. My potion. It helps." He sucked in air at the pain. Lily hurried out of the room and came back with a bottle.

"This?" He nodded. She opened it and he took it, chugging it down. "He cursed you?" She suddenly gasped. "The Cruciatus. He did that to you, didn't he?" Severus nodded, hugging the stairwell.

"Dumbledore. I need to speak to him." He took a breath. "Found him."

"Who?"

"Pettigrew. I know where he is." At that, Sirius ran to Severus.

"Where? Where is he? I swear I'm gonna-"

"No, you can't. You know this. Control yourself, Sirius." Lily said and dashed to the fireplace, found the floo powder and stuck her head inside the fire.

Lily arrived at Dumbledore's office.

"Lily, what's the trouble?"

"Severus. He had a meeting. He found Pettigrew." Dumbledore jumped up and following Lily back into Severus's living room.

Severus had made his way to his chair and collapsed into it, still shaking from the curse.

"Severus, my boy, how did it go?" Severus really didn't like it when Dumbledore referred to him as "boy." He wasn't a child.

"He was angry. He was happy to be rid of Potter, but he's still after the boy. He's desperate to do away with Harry for good."

"Power the Dark Lord knows not. He's afraid." Dumbledore said. Severus gave a curt nod. "And what did you tell him?"

"That you have Lily and the boy hidden and no one knows where."

"And you saw Pettigrew?" Severus cringed and Lily could see his eyes flaming with rage at the name.

"Yes. I followed him. He's at Rosier's place. He was heading to the guest house." Severus gave a chuckle. "He called me his pal. The nerve of the rat. He was lucky you had ordered him alive. It took all self-control I had not to strangle him right there."

"Well, this is good news. I will inform the aurors at once and send them that way." Dumbledore turned to leave. "And get some rest. I'm sure you will hear of Peter's capture in the morning." Dumbledore disappeared back into the fireplace.

Lily began to head up the stairs and Severus got up to follow. As Sirius lay back down on the couch, there was a rapping at the window. Severus walked over to it and opened it, the biting air rushing in. The barn owl dropped a note to Sirius and flew back out. Sirius sat up and opened it.

"What is it? Is something wrong, Sirius?" Lily asked from the stairs.

"Nothing really. It says mum passed away. I apparently get the house and to my dismay, Kreacher."

"Sirius, I'm sorry. You've lost your father, brother, best friend and mother all in one year. That's a lot to take in."

"I'm not sorry, Lily. I didn't even like the woman."

"Does anyone?" Severus mumbled, recalling the woman to be rather uptight, snobby and bitter about the world. Sirius and Lily did not hear this comment.

"Still, she's your mother."

"She apparently hadn't been the same since Regulus. She never moved past the loss of her precious, honorable son. I do recall her saying it should have been me instead." Sirius read over the parchment some more. "Well, I guess once they get the rat, I will move into the house and get the place cleaned up a bit. I don't plan on staying in the wretched place though. I hated it as a kid and I won't like the place now."

"Okay. If you want, we can help you." Severus eyed Lily as if she'd lost her mind. Him, help Black? She was forgetting the two repulsed each other.

"Sure, Lily. I could probably use the help." Severus left the room and headed up stairs before he could be sucked into helping the mutt. Besides, he needed a good night's rest and it was late. He'd deal with them in the morning.

The following morning, Dumbledore arrived early and informed them of Peter's capture and imprisonment. Sirius mumbled that he still wished he could have killed the rat. Severus had no argument there. At least Pettigrew was getting what he deserved. Personally, Severus hoped the rat would get the kiss for selling Lily out.

During breakfast, Lily kept trying to talk Severus into helping.

"I think I've done more than enough for him already."

"He'd help you, wouldn't he?"

"No." Sirius and Severus said at the same time. Lily laughed as she tried to feed Harry. Harry put his hands to his mouth and fussed.

"Well, I think we should help." Lily sighed at Harry. "Maybe he's still not well. I'll try again later."

"You can help." Severus said.

"You can help too."

"I can help, yes, but I don't want to help. There's a difference." She gave him a cold look.

"Severus?" He didn't look at her and continued to eat. He knew she was gazing at him. After a few minutes, he finally sighed.

"Fine, Lily, you win, I'll do it, but I'm not going to be happy about it." She smiled in accomplishment. He grumbled to himself slightly. Why she had that influence over him, he didn't know. She always had that power.

That's how he found himself leaving with Sirius and Lily and entering "The Ancient and Noble House of Black" that afternoon. Lily set Harry in a playpen and began to work on the living room. Sirius entered the kitchen and Severus took the upstairs. He entered a room decorated in Slytherin colors. It must have been Regulus's bedroom.

Dust covered the entire room. He figured no one had touched the place since Regulus's untimely death six months before. He used his wand to propel the feather duster quickly around the bedroom. He wanted to get this over with, get back to his place and leave Sirius behind. Severus was slightly careless and hit a box, knocking it to the floor. He saw a note fall to the floor and picked it up. What he read shocked him to the core.


	8. Chapter 8: Black Assistance

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **Piscesgirl35, HughSoSexy, Vigilante3, Jordina, Ayame5, Singingequestrian89, Harrylee94**, **Warblers4life **and **Shinywhiteboards** for their lovely reviews. Again, thank you for taking the time kindly give your thoughts. I always love to read them!_

_*Note: Regulus wrote a note to Voldemort (Book 6) and it was with the fake locket in the cave. This note is not the same one. This note technically doesn't exist in the series. I'm imagining Regulus wrote a note to Sirius. Some things in this story will be close to canon, but most of this story will differ._

**Chapter 8: Black Assistance.**

_Sirius, _

_I hope this note finds you well. I wanted to give an apology first and foremost. You were right about the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters. I wish I could have gotten out, but once you become a Death Eater, you only escape via death. As I pen this note, I know I will only be around one more day. It saddens me that we never knew each other better. I have discovered a secret regarding the Dark Lord. I am trying to make him mortal so that he can be destroyed. I have stolen his locket. You must find a way to destroy it. Please, do this one thing for me, for everyone, for our world. The Dark Lord won't be destroyed unless it is gone._

_Your brother always,_

_Regulus _

_P.S. You can find it in the Drawing Room. _

Severus was puzzled at the note and a bit shocked. He had met Regulus before since they were both in Slytherin and they were both Death Eaters. No one really knew what happened to Regulus, other than what was told from Kreacher, the Black's house-elf. Kreacher only said that Regulus was gone for good. Regulus had apparently forbidden him to say anything else.

It was now clear to Severus that Regulus had orchestrated his death to get out of the Death Eaters and taken something valuable from the Dark Lord to help destroy him. This was rather intriguing. Why would the Dark Lord need a locket and how would it make him immortal? He forgot about the pointless dusting and headed back downstairs, stuffing the note away with his wand.

"Where's your drawing room, Black?" He called out.

"Why do you care?"

"Where is it? There's something in there we have to find." Severus made long strides toward Black as he came out of the kitchen and Severus reached for the note. Sirius panicked and started to pull out his wand as Lily entered the room. Harry toddled behind, no longer in the playpen.

"Put that thing down before you poke someone's eye out, Black. I'm not hexing you as much I'd love to." He handed Sirius the note. Sirius looked confused.

"You jinxed that paper, didn't you?"

"Oh for God's sake, just take it. It's for you." It was silent. "Are you going to read the note or not?" Severus finally snapped at Black, who glared at him for a moment before opening the letter and reading.

"You wrote this, didn't you?"

"Does it look like I wrote it? I hardly knew your brother, to be honest."

"What is it? What does the note say?" Lily asked. Sirius didn't answer, but turned and walked down the hall and up the stairs. Lily scooped Harry up and they followed Sirius upstairs. He unlocked a room and they all went inside.

"Look around for a locket." Sirius demanded. Severus did not approve of being commanded, but looked anyway. They spent the next half hour searching the room.

Lily finally saw a gold chain holding an expensive looking locket. "I think I found it." Severus and Sirius came over. Severus reached for it and upon grabbing it, noticed something strange. He suddenly felt a surge of anger wash over him. It was if the locket was alive. He recognized instantly that the locket held Dark Magic. He threw it out of the door in a panic.

"What did you do that for?" Sirius asked.

"Don't touch it!" He called angrily as Sirius went for it. "Something's wrong with it."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, then her eyes widened. "Dark magic?" He nodded.

"I felt it."

"How did you feel it?" Sirius asked, clearly not believing Severus.

"How long have you been a wizard, Black? You of all people should know about dark magic in objects. That locket is one of them. I don't know what it is, but it was apparently the Dark Lord's. You brother wanted it destroyed. That's why. It's a dangerous object." Black looked livid with Severus. "Let's just destroy the damn thing." Sirius grabbed the locket by its chain and nodded.

"Fine. I'll get a mallet."

"Why not use your wand?"

"I want to use a mallet." Lily shrugged and took Harry's hand and left the room. Severus rolled his eyes, but followed Black down the stairs and out into the backyard. Lily chose to stay inside with Harry, afraid he was not well enough to be out in the cold November air. Severus stood by the door and watched in amusement as Black retrieved a mallet and attempted to break the locket. The huge instrument had no effect on the locket. Finally, Black gave up and tried to use his wand. All the locket did was move across the yard a few feet with each spell.

"You think it's is funny, do you? You try it, smartass."

"I don't think any spell will work. It's dark magic and protected by such. I think something needs to penetrate it."

"Like what?"

"No idea."

"A lot of help you are." Severus sneered and went back inside. Black picked the locket up by its chain once more and went inside. They entered the hallway when Black stopped.

"Scearpfatas!" Black suddenly shouted.

"The what?" Lily asked.

"Mean little creatures. Little fate type things that shoot sharp needles when provoked. There's one in the other room. Mum wanted one to keep unwanted guests away."

"I think I saw it in the living room, but wasn't sure what it was."

"Scoop it up in a quilt. It calms when it can't see." Lily nodded and disappeared into the living room.

"The needles carry a toxin and are rather strong, yes. You just proved you have a brain in your thick skull." Black frowned. "It might work."

"Are you saying I'm an idiot?"

"You said it, not me." Black clutched the locket in irritation and suddenly let out a shrill and girlish scream, throwing the locket on the ground.

"It's alive!" This amused Severus greatly and he found himself stifling a laugh.

"Nice sqeal, Black."

"I'd love to see you-" His scream had caused the portrait of Black's mother to wake up and she began to screech, drowning out Sirius's words.

"Who is in my house?" She turned to them. "Traitors and Mudbloods in my house! Filth in my home!" Sirius grumbled.

"Shut it, woman! This house belongs to me now and I'll let in whoever I please!" She kept screeching. Harry screamed and began to cry, terrified.

Sirius reached for Harry, but Harry pulled away from Sirius's arms and to Severus's misfortune, the boy turned to him and buried his face into his leg, clutching it with all his might. Severus swore under his breath. Sirius looked daggers at Severus who glared right back. He was not going to be challenged.

"What did you do to Harry?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Black."

"You know what I mean." Severus's lip curled. He decided he could use Harry's growing attachment to him as a bit of revenge.

"Oh, Harry. Seems he's taken a liking to me, hasn't he?" Severus reached down and patted Harry's messy hair. The boy's crying eased as Lily entered the room with the quilt.

When Lily entered, she saw Harry crying, but attached to Severus's leg. Severus was rubbing the boy's hair gently and sneering at Sirius, who looked rather angry. This shocked her quite a bit. Harry was calming down at Severus's touch.

"Harry does not like you. He just heard me yelling."

"Keep telling yourself that, Black. I do wonder what Potter would think about this situation. His son growing attached to Snivellus." Severus spoke his awful branded nickname with disdain.

"Potter's son would never like greasy gits."

"But Lily's son might." Lily said and they both turned to her. "Here's the quilt." Harry turned to her.

"Mama." She scooped him up off Severus's leg. Sirius took the quilt, opened it and blinded the scearpfata before tossing it in the kitchen. He then threw the quilt over Walburga. The portrait quieted.

"Snivellus can do the honors of retrieving the needles." Severus frowned, but did not answer. He went into the kitchen, poked at the creature with his wand and put up a shield. The scearpfata shot needles from its back in fright. Severus countered his shield and grabbed a needle.

"Here."

"Why are you giving it me?"

"Aren't you going to destroy the thing?"

"No way. You probe in the dark stuff, you get rid of it."

"Fine." Severus walked back into the kitchen, taking the locket with him, not flinching as the thing ticked. He set it on the table and looked back at Black with a smirk. "I'll do it since you are too frightened."

"Whimp, am I? What about you? All those times you could never fight back. You could never have been in Gryffindor. You have no bravery at all. You are a coward."Severus sucked in air. He had things to do right now. He took the thick needle and aimed it straight down into the locket. Before he could even pierce it, the locket burst open and a swirl of something similar to smoke appeared. It was then he saw several bits of his past flash before him. He saw his mistakes, his errors in judgment, his losses and all of it seeming to tease me. He couldn't take it and stabbed the locket with all his might and the smoke died with the locket.

Severus was breathing heavy and turned to Black, moving toward him at a fast pace. "I am NOT a whimp!" He had his wand under Black's throat so fast, that Black had no time to react. "You idiots always thinking you are so cool, four to one, huh? Where was the bravery in that? If you wanted to show true bravery, you would have fought me yourself, one-on-one! Griffins aren't so brave after all, not really! You are nothing but arrogant, egotistical troublemakers! Teacher's pets who never got blamed for anything! I have done more brave things in the past month than you have ever done in your lifetime, so DO NOT EVER CALL ME COWARD!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. The quilt had fallen off the portrait and Mrs. Black was screeching again.

Severus put his wand down and shoved Black to the side as he walked down the hallway. He thrust the door open and turned to Black. "_Levicorpus_!" He shouted to himself. Black found himself hanging upside down, his robes falling down and revealing his undergarments. "Sweet revenge!" He let Black down and Sirius hit the ground with a painful thud. Severus slammed the door closed, evading a hex Black threw and apparated home.

_**No real cliffhanger this time. Maybe next time? I'm exhausted after editing this. I had a very long day. I hope my readers liked this chapter. **_

_**A/N:** Scearpfatas are my own invention. They are fates that shoot out sharp needles when provoked (like a porcupine). Scearp-Sharp/Fatas-Fates. I created them for a story of my own once. Yes, I create my creatures. Yes, that probably makes me strange, but that's okay. ;) Please don't steal my ideas without permission, thank you._

_Griffins make more sense to me as the Gryffindor's animal. Griffins are a cross between a lion and an eagle in Greek Mythology. Bit of a mythology buff so you will have to forgive if you do not like it. _


	9. Never Let The Sun Go Down On Your Wrath

_Thanks to **HughsoSexy, PiscesGirl35, Roya Reader, Shinywhiteboards** and **Harrylee94** for their reviews! As always I loved to read them and appreciate it!_

_I hadn't planned on them finding anymore horcruxes anytime soon. Four horcruxes remain (I think Voldemort created the snake when he returned, didn't he? I couldn't find this information, so correct me if I'm wrong). Harry is not a horcrux since Voldemort hasn't touched him (yet). _

_In the story I created before using the scearpfatas here they shot needles that were very large and sturdy and carried a toxin. The look like the fates in myths, but are smaller, not much larger than a sewer rat. I thought they would be a good replacement for the basilisk fang. _

_Also, I will fix the last chapter. **MalikofDarkness** pointed out that "Levicorpus" is a nonverbal spell. I was unaware of this. Thanks! _

_Longest Chapter yet (but not that long). _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 9: Let Not the Sun Go Down On Your Wrath**

Severus sat down at the kitchen table and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He was not a coward. He knew he should feel bad about lashing out, but he didn't. He felt happy instead. Black got what he had coming to him. It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door. He pointed his wand and opened it. Lily came in with Harry. She entered the kitchen with a frown on her face.

"What was that all about? Why would you do that?" She set Harry on the floor. He could tell she was angry, but he didn't care. Lily didn't know why he had his outburst and she wanted to find out.

"He deserved every bit of it. It was well past time someone told him like it is instead of singing him praises every time he moves." Severus's voice dripped with malice. "Karma's a bitch."

"He didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"I didn't deserve to be treated like that! He and Potter would attack for no damn reason! At least I never attacked unprovoked unlike those bastards!" Lily sucked in air in frustration. She couldn't believe he was being so petty or that he still held that grudge.

"They are good people, Severus." He scoffed in disgust. "James is in a better place now and Sirius is grieving his loss and it wouldn't hurt to be kinder to him."

"Oh give me a break, Lily. There is no way that James is in a better place. He is rotting in hell after all he did to others. He was a rotten, useless bully. When I die, it's probably where I'll go to and you can bet I will get my payback then." Lily was rather livid.

"James was too good to go to any type of hell."

"He was anything but good. He was cruel and while his evil wasn't the same as many of the Death Eaters, he lacked the same compassion for others. He was just like them, even if you won't admit it to yourself. He didn't care who he hurt as long as he was entertaining himself. It's no different than many Death Eaters. It didn't bother him to stuff other's heads in toilets, humiliate them for fun in front of everyone, make them choke on soap suds until they vomited, smash them into ground over and over again, breaking bones, after they render the other wandless so they can't defend themselves. Oh, yes, Black and Potter were just angels, weren't they?" He took a breath, noticing he was clutching his glass too tight and eased up.

"I never understood how you thought that made them better. They may not have done much dark arts, but they certainly knew some. It didn't make them better because they didn't physically torture anyone. They created emotional and mental wounds, which dig much deeper and take the longest to heal and sometimes they ever do. Some run so deep that it is like a cruciatus and never heals, rendering the other nearly insane. That to me is much worse, Lily. Much worse." She didn't answer at first.

"You still hate James." She finally spoke, not knowing what else to say.

"I'll always hate Potter and Black."

"James is gone and it is no use staying angry." Lily was not willing to buy the notion that James was anything like the Death Eaters. He wasn't dark like them and she was not going to hear this.

"You want me feel sorry that he's dead? I can't do that, Lily. I don't feel bad. I'm sorry that he was killed by the Dark Lord, but I'm just not that sorry he's gone. Forgive me, but you can hardly expect me to shed a tear for the man who made my life a living hell, can you? I am actually a bit glad he can't be an ass to anyone else."

"He changed."

"So his supposed change is meant to make me feel bad. Let me ask you something, Lily. Would James have cared if I died? Would he have shed a tear? Oh, please. He would be nothing short of happy to hear that I was killed by the Dark Lord."

"You have to forgive, Severus." Lily was thinking about what he was saying, but couldn't bring herself to think of James negatively.

"Well, I can, but I will never forget what he did to me. The way he and his friends constantly tried to humiliate me and torment for no other reason than how did they word it, oh yeah, because I existed." He turned to her. She was tight lipped.

"What they did was wrong, but James stopped being that way. He grew up and regretted what he did."

"Did he now? Well, I never got an apology. If he was truly sorry he would have given me a sincere one along with the others he bullied. He did not do so. Of course, since I became a Death Eater, I guess I may have been unworthy of an apology. It doesn't matter that they drove me there. I'm sure that was their goal anyway."

"You chose to become a Death Eater. James had no part in that." Lily said, defending her husband. She wasn't going to let him berate the man she married just because he wasn't alive to defend himself.

"Of course he did. Why do you think I wanted that power, that authority, that protection or what I thought would give me those things, huh? Just because? No, because I wanted to show Potter up and have more power and influence than he did. All my life I'd been bullied and I wanted it to end. I felt the Death Eaters would finally be my ticket to stop it all, but I was wrong, clearly. It was an error made in my ignorant youth." He said all this before he could stop himself and was a bit surprised afterward that he had admitted it to her. She didn't know what to say.

"Just because Black and Potter didn't side with You-Know-Who doesn't make them good people. You'll be hard-pressed to convince me otherwise." Lily looked a bit angry.

"James was a good person. He was kind and loving." Severus scoffed.

"To you girls to impress you only. To me he'll always be an arrogant toerag."

"He was nicer to me than you were." Lily realized this was the wrong thing to say the moment it came out of her mouth. Severus looked at her and she could see the anger in his eyes.

"Was he now?" Severus cracked his knuckles and neck, letting out a bitter hiss. "I thought he just wanted you. Potter always fancied you and he couldn't have you, to begin with." He said these words with a bitter taste in his mouth. "Knock me out of the picture and he figured you would come crawling to him. Imagine that, it worked. What Potter wants, Potter gets. I was always kind to you minus the one word. I didn't chase after you, begging for your affection. I never harmed you."

"James never harmed me."

"No, he harmed me instead to impress you." He sucked in air. "And it worked."

"You were the one who called me a mudblood. I was only trying to help."

"So you really haven't forgiven me for that?"

"I have, but I haven't forgotten."

"I made a mistake. Yes, it slipped out because I was angry that I couldn't fight them back, because they were humiliating me in front of the entire school again, because of the pressure of the OWLS, because of the pressure my housemates were giving me on a daily basis because I was friends with you and because I had not chosen their way, because others were mocking me with the stupid marauders and that I had to have a girl fight my battles, because Potter was doing all this because he and the mutt were bored and because Potter was doing this to impress you for some god forsaken reason, because nobody cared about me, because every teacher in the school loved Potter and everyone but me still thinks he is God's gift to the planet." Lily hadn't said a word, only listened in shock. His chest was heaving in and out in what Lily could see was a mix of anger and frustration.

"Severus-"

"Do you think for one second that anyone would have cared had it been me instead who had just been killed? Do you have any idea what it is like to listen to people do nothing but sing praises to those who created hell on earth for me for seven long years? Do you?" He was so angry, his glass shattered in his hand, cutting it, but he didn't even seem to notice.

"Severus, calm down." He didn't look at her. "It's not James or Sirius's fault you called me a mudblood. It was yours. Accept some responsibility."

"I never said it was their fault!" He snapped. She jumped. "I can't believe you sided with them after all they put me through. You and I were best friends. You knew what they did me, day in and day out. When I was home I was bullied, when I was in primary I was bullied, when I got to Hogwarts I was still bullied, a pawn for another's amusement my entire life! I am still just a pawn to get what someone else wants. I'm a pawn for the Dark Lord to get what he wants and I'm pawn for Dumbledore to get what he wants. Nothing more than a useless pawn and pawns are always the first to be sacrificed." He hardly knew what he was saying, yet meant every word. All the emotions that had built up in him were pouring out. "

We all say things we regret when we are angry. It doesn't mean the other meant it at all. I never meant it and I can't believe you never understood that. I can't take back what I said to you, I said it. Done deal, but you never would forgive me."

"You were going to the Death Eaters."

"I had never decided that and I was not one then."

"But you would have been."

"I don't know that and neither did you. You assumed."

"You became one."

"Later on, after school ended. Who else did I have to turn to, Lily? I had no one to go to except those in my dorm and I followed with them. No one was giving me a job, no one felt I could succeed, not even the other teachers."

"You still became one and I couldn't be a part of it."

"So that's why you ended our friendship."

"You ended it by saying that word and confirming you were becoming one of them. You couldn't have stayed friends with me."

"I never wanted to stop being friends! I wanted us-" He stopped, realizing he could never reveal any more. "Forget it. This is a useless conversation. You will always side with Potter because for some reason you let Potter manipulate you into love and marriage."

"He didn't manipulate me in anything."

"Oh no, not at all. Never once did he work to try and impress you, to try and be your knight in shining armor. Oh, please." Severus got up and summoned his cloak. "The man you hated for almost six years suddenly becoming your love interest. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave you a love potion. He wanted you so badly. Who many times did he ask you out before seventh year? A hundred? Suddenly, you say yes and fall madly in love with him."

"He didn't give me a love potion."

"I didn't say he did, I'm just saying I could see him doing something like it. Anything to get what he wanted and what he wanted was you. Way to treat you like an object, as if you were his possession he had to obtain. Makes me sick." He headed to the door. She was ready to protest, bitter words on her lips. "I have to go to work. Do whatever you want just don't let your brat in my lab off the kitchen. It's not the kid's fault he got saddled with a git for a father." Severus shut his door and headed to Diagon Alley to the Apothecary.

He walked down the road and eyed the Dark Art shops and shivered, but not from the cold. Maybe he shouldn't have been so harsh on Lily? Maybe he shouldn't have been so harsh on Potter, since they were married (which disgusted him). Of all the people she could have been with, Potter was the worst one). No, he needed to tell her those things. She needed to hear how he really felt about him because they would come up at some point. Better now than a few months later. He started to wonder if she would leave his home, angry with him once again.

As he entered the shop, he suddenly felt contrite and wanted to go home and apologize to Lily. He shouldn't have lost his temper with her. The clock struck noon. It was too late to go back home. He'd have to wait until his shift ended. It was going to be a longer day than usual. If Lily was still at his house, he would immediately apologize to her. It wasn't her fault Black had stirred up his old, seething grudge.

Lily was torn between feeling livid at Severus for degrading her late husband and feeling that in many ways, he was right. James had done all those things to him, but he changed. Another thought hit her as she tried to feed Harry some lunch: Maybe she had helped drive him to Voldemort's side? No, he was going down that path already. She couldn't have prevented that.

Her stomach squeezed. She knew how mental and emotional wounds could damage people. She just never thought about it being any worse. Deep down, she had a feeling that James and Sirius and Peter too had probably helped drive him to that path. After all, if they had more kind to him maybe he wouldn't have been forced to try and make friends with creeps like Avery and Mulciber. No one ever was very kind to him, except her. Even Avery and Mulciber weren't good friends to him and often teased him, trying to get Severus to go along with their plans. Even the teachers were oblivious to the troubled kid. She never thought much about it before, but she knew Dumbledore and many of the teachers had favored the Marauders and taken their side quite often in the duels.

Lily couldn't help but wonder: What if they had sided with Severus more? After all, Severus rarely started the fights. What if they had seen his potential and helped him instead of just seeing the quiet Slytherin? Was it possible that their thoughts of all Slytherins being evil helped drive them that way? She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Yes, a self-fulfilling prophecy, that's what it was. She wondered if anyone else thought about that. After all, if you keep telling someone they are evil and worthless and will never be anybody, never succeeding and making them feel completely powerless, they would become that way or try to prove them wrong. Proving someone wrong can sometimes lead to stupid decisions and disastrous results.

Lily thought about his words and felt a sob catch in her throat. The Slytherins were often treated poorly by others and while she knew some of them were plain evil, others were not. The more she thought, the angrier she became at her former teachers. They were never nice with them or with Severus. It was their job, to protect the students and help them. They only harmed them by treating them as if they had no ability to be good people. She pondered how many others could have been saved from the pull of the Death Eaters early on if only someone had intervened.

This turned her thoughts back to James. He never did apologize to Severus and would still at times speak ill of him. Maybe he should have apologized for treating him so poorly. She had been angry with Severus too, for choosing the Death Eaters, so never cared when her husband spoke poorly of him. Maybe that was wrong. No, it was wrong. James should have apologized for doing all those things to Severus. It was too late to change that now, though.

She would have to make it right somehow. She would start by giving Severus a sincere and honest apology when he got home. It may not have been her burden, but she felt it heavy on her shoulders. He needed an apology from someone and as his former best friend, she would do the honors. He deserved that much.

_**A/N**_: _The title of this chapter comes from KJV version of the __Holy Bible__. "__**Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath**__." __Ephesians 4:26. __Basically, it's okay to be angry, but don't stay angry and never go to bed angry. A good rule, really._


	10. Chapter 10: Apologizing Is Never Easy

_Thanks to my lovely reviewers: **PiscesGirl35, Warblers4Life, HughSoSexy, RavenclawBabe, Harrylee94, Jordina, Singingequestrian89, Kinole009x **and **DarkPhoenix-24. **You all always put a smile on my face :D_

_I had a hard time getting this document to upload here and wasn't sure if I'd get it up tonight, but I finally did! Yeah!_

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 10: Apologizing Is Never Easy**

Severus walked down Diagon Alley after work, considering what he'd say to Lily. He needed to apologize, but that was never easy for him. He hated admitting he was wrong. He knew his feelings weren't the problem and he wasn't going to apologize for feeling the way he did. He was going to apologize for taking his issues with the Marauders out on her. She didn't know how he really felt about them and she didn't know how he was really treated in school. She knew he was bullied, but little more.

Lily prepared dinner, letting Harry bang some pots with a wooden spoon. She had spent much of the day thinking about everything Severus had told her. She hadn't known how much pent up frustration and anger he held. She had thought him to be so composed. Not that he didn't try and hex James and Sirius in anger while in school, but in general, he was not an emotional person. Seeing him crack like that was not something she was used to, but she knew he had probably wanted to say that to someone for a long time. She just happened to be the one there.

Truthfully, she was kind of glad he told her all that. She needed to hear it from his point of view, hear how he felt. She didn't want to think too much about James. She was still grieving, but she had to face the facts. He had never treated her former best friend kindly and he had never apologized for those grievances.

Severus entered the home to banging sounds. He hoped it was Lily, but took out his wand just in case. He entered the kitchen and saw Harry hitting some of his cookware with a wooden spoon. He put his wand down and looked up. Lily turned to him and gave a smile.

"You're home." After she said this, she blushed. She sounded like his wife. "I mean, um, I made some food."

"Oh." He stepped toward the table. "Lily, I have something to say." He cleared his throat. "About earlier, I shouldn't have-"

She threw her hand up to stop him. "Don't. I deserved it."

"No, you didn't, I-"

"I did. Don't you dare apologize." She sighed. "You were right. It was wrong for people to treat you the way they did and still do in many ways. It was wrong of Sirius to call you a coward. You're not a coward. You may be petty, but a coward you are not."

"Well," He started, unsure what to say. She was saying she was wrong and he was right. This wasn't what he had planned on hearing.

"James shouldn't have treated you that way. Sirius shouldn't have treated you that way. You didn't deserve any of it."

"Lily,"

"Let me speak." She sighed. "I've spent most of the afternoon thinking." He eyed the table, which had about a dozen used tissues on it.

"I made you cry?" He gulped. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. It's mine. I'm just still grieving and get upset easily." Severus felt a jolt in his stomach at a thought.

"You aren't pregnant, are you?" She looked at him in complete shock.

"Absolutely not, why would you think that?" She looked down at her stomach. "I haven't gained weight, have I?"

"No, not at all that I noticed, but when Narcissa was pregnant with Draco-"

"Narcissa? The Black girl? She married that git Malfoy, didn't she?" He nodded. "She had a baby?"

"Yes. He's just a few months older than Harry. They should be at Hogwarts together down the road."

"Unless Harry's a squib." Severus feigned a look of shock.

"Lily Evan's son a squib? I think not." She was ready to retort when she realized he was teasing. She smiled.

"Are you flattering me, Severus?" He smirked.

"Well, I do remember you as a very talented young witch. There's no way you would have a son who wasn't a wizard, even if you married a muggle." After he said the last words, he frowned. Lily knew he was thinking about his own parents.

"Well, I promise you I am not pregnant. I would know if I was. I knew with Harry very early" She huffed.

"Okay, I'll drop the subject."

"I was upset because I was thinking about everything that happened between us, between you and James and Sirius, and how I didn't see it all before. I should have. I was your friend. I should have done more, even if you didn't want me too. I should have told McGonagall what I saw. I should have told on Sirius for that incident he tried to pull that could have killed you. I was afraid of being a tattletale, but really, I wouldn't have been. I would have been doing the right thing. Instead, I sat back and let you fall. I let you go and fall into the Death Eater trap. I could have saved you from that pull."

"Lily, please don't blame yourself for my stupid decisions."

"But I can, Severus. It is, in some ways, my fault. In so many more ways the fault does lie with James and Sirius for treating you horribly for no reason. I keep thinking that if he was nice to you from the start, if they both were, maybe you wouldn't have felt the need for friends in Avery or Mulciber." This wasn't something he had contemplated before. The Marauders as friends was quite a laugh.

She went on. "I keep thinking about Dumbledore and the teachers and how they almost never punished the Marauders. In your duels, it was always your fault because you were a Slytherin. They always assumed it was you who started it. Sirius nearly killed you and he never saw punishment since James apparently atoned for Black's actions by saving you." Severus clenched his fists in anger. "As if that changes anything. What Sirius did was stupid and beyond dangerous. You could have died. Remus wouldn't have meant to harm you, but he wouldn't have known any better. Sirius should have spent the rest of his years in detentions with Filch if not expelled for that." Severus was more than surprised to hear all this from her. She was not defending James or Sirius this time. She was defending him. The sudden twist made his head spin. He was feeling a bit dizzy and sat down. She put Harry in the transfigured high chair.

"I am so sorry, Severus, for everything they did to you. James cannot try and redeem himself, but I can. I am sorry. Deeply sorry for all you had to go through." She waved her wand and served the food.

"You haven't had life so easy yourself." He sighed. "I appreciate and accept your apology, but you didn't need to give it. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. It was wrong."

"No, I needed to hear it. I'm glad you got angry with me. I needed to know how you felt. I did deserve some of it and don't try and deny it." She sat down across from him.

"Potter and Black deserved it, not you. The professors deserved it too. My parents deserve it as well, but seeing as they aren't here to hear it, I'll put them out of my thoughts. I took out my pent-up frustrations on you. That was wrong and I am sorry for that. It's hard when no one believes that you can be anything more than a Death Eater."

"That's what I am talking about, Severus. All they saw, minus Slughorn, was a quiet Slytherin. No one saw what you were capable of. You have no idea how aggravating it is to think about now." He rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe you do, but I never really thought about it before. How many others could have been saved from being at You-Know-Who's side if the teachers actually tried to get to know the Slytherins? They could have helped prevent the rivalry of houses. That rivalry they created causes so much turmoil. It's stupid."

"I don't know, Lily. They didn't care enough. I was only a threat."

"The teachers didn't believe in you, but I knew you had so much potential. You still have so much potential. That's why I hated it so much when I saw you with those wannabe Death Eaters. I knew they were trouble and yet, they kept pulling you in. They were worthless and they didn't deserve you as a friend. You were and still are so much better than they are." His jaw dropped. He shook his head.

"Lily,"

"What?" She was still flustered.

"Thank you."

"For what?" She was confused.

"That's probably the nicest thing anyone ever said to me." She looked at him and a lump caught in her throat. She felt herself blush again.

"Well, it's true." It was quiet for a few minutes.

"Do you plan on staying here awhile?" He finally asked, the silence getting to him.

"Well," She looked at him. "Only if it is okay with you? I hate to think we are imposing."

"Of course not. I just figured if you were staying here awhile I ought to give you a proper room. Not that I mind giving up my room, but I would like it back at some point."

"That would be very kind, but don't feel like you need to go out of your way to make us more comfortable. I would be just as happy to take the couch."

"Nonsense. You are the guest. Besides, Black was on the couch. You don't where that mutt has been."

"Severus." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, it's true." She sighed.

"I appreciate you letting us stay. The only other place I could think of would be Petunia's place, but she wouldn't want us there. Can you believe she still won't speak to me?"

"No. She's still jealous? After all these years?"

"I guess. She married and has a son of her own now. They live in Surrey. I think they named him Dudley or something. He's about a month older than Harry, but I've never met him."

"Dudley? Sounds like something Petunia would name her kid." He never did care for Petunia. He found hard to believe sometimes the two were even related, let alone sisters.

"Yeah. She wants no part in my life. She's never met Harry. She says she doesn't want her son to be friends with a freak." Severus grumbled_. Yep, same Petunia, he thought, nothing changed there. She always called Lily a freak and of course she would consider Lily's child one too._

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"Don't be. I'm not really. I do wish she would come around. It would have been nice to have raised our children together. The boys could have been good friends." She sighed. "No matter, it is what it is. So, how was work? Where do you work?" She said, changing the subject.

"It was fine, I guess. I work at the Apothecary in Diagon Alley."

"Do you like your job?"

"It's okay. I don't know what else I'd be doing. It pays well enough and all I do is brew and bottle potions. I'm guessing you aren't working as of late."

"I was planning on being an auror, but then I got pregnant and I've stayed home with Harry."

"Was Potter an auror?"

"Yes."

"Did you plan on training when Harry was a bit older?"

"Well, I figured we would have a couple more children, so no, but now, I don't know. I might consider it. I was never sure if I could do it, honestly." He didn't dare say it, but he thought she was wasting her life on Potter and children. She was an intelligent witch and could have done so much for the wizarding world. He didn't know why she didn't see that. Where was the confident Lily he knew?

"Well, I disagree and think you have plenty of talent to give. You would be a great auror."

"Thanks, but I don't know if that's true."

"I do." She looked down at her bread. He figured he should change the subject. "How many kids did you want anyway? Don't tell me you wanted to beat the Weasleys? How many do they have now, six?"

"Seven, they just had another. A girl this time." She smiled. Severus rolled his eyes. _The Weasley woman does nothing except breed children, _he thought. "And no, I was thinking about three, maybe four. Of course, James was happy with just Harry. He didn't know if he wanted any more children. He liked being an only child."

Severus scoffed. "Of that I have no doubt." Potter was a spoiled only child, he knew that. He never had to share the limelight with anyone. _Of course he'd want to create a pampered, spoiled brat just like him, _he thought to himself.

"I liked having a sister though. That is until I went to Hogwarts and she became jealous. I wanted Harry to have a brother or sister. Of course, now, he'll always be an only child."

"Maybe. Then again you may find someone else eventually." He just hoped it wouldn't be Black or Lupin, but especially not Black.

She shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't know."

"Just don't marry Black. You'd have to be mad." She laughed.

"Oh please." She raised her eyebrow. "Black and McDonald have been going out for the past six months."

"Hmm. They seem right for each other. I wonder how much longer it will last."

"No clue, they never seem to last long. I don't know how much they honestly know about each other though. They never seem to do more than snog."

"Sounds like Black. That was all he ever did with girls back in school too. Never could make a commitment, just wants to see how many women he can sleep with."

"Sev, honestly!" She blurted out. He nearly choked on the soup.

"What did you call me?" He swore he had to have heard wrong. She hadn't seriously called him by her given nickname for him, had she? "Did you just call me Sev?" She smiled.

"Why, yes, I guess I did." She smiled at him. "I guess this makes us friends again."

"I'd like that. I could use a friend." He smiled at her.

"So could I." She mumbled. "Well, shall I make a toast then?" She raised her glass. Severus looked at her and nodded. "To friends?"

"To friends." He raised his glass. They both took a drink before clearing the table. What was originally a bad day had somehow turned around into something good and they were getting along again. A bad day turned good was rarity for Severus and he wondered how long it would last.

For the first time since her husband had passed away, Lily felt a twinge of happiness race up inside her. She was glad that she ran into Severus that fateful night. Perhaps they both needed this. _This arrangement might be so bad after all,_ she thought.

**A/N**: _For some bizarre reason the chorus of Tommy Roe's 1969 hit single "__Dizzy__" kept popping into my mind as I typed this. I think it fits for some odd reason. Anyway, I hope the readers liked this. I am happy with this chapter._


	11. Chapter 11: Christmas Eve Fiasco

_Thanks to **Harrylee94, Alethea27, Jordina, Laurena1234, HughSoSexy, Scotty77, RavenclawBabe, OnyxEmerald**, **Phantom-Menace-of-Hogwarts, Blueowl, Deno91 **and **LadyElena17 **for the nice reviews! I've never had quite this many reviews, so thank you, honest! I really appreciate you all taking the time to leave a comment. They were all encouraging! _

_Lily's not going to be pregnant any time soon, promise. _

_Scotty and RavenclawBabe and others: No, they won't be more than friends, at least not any time soon. It wouldn't be realistic (even for a fantasy story) to think they automatically make up and sleep together, so I agree with both of you. _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 11: Christmas Eve Fiasco**

_Christmas Eve 1981_

Lily came in the door with Harry, taking off her and Harry's snow laden coats. Harry was running circles around her. "Stay still." She let out a huff.

"So, how was the visit? Did he give Harry fleas?" He sneered. Lily turned to the living room where Severus was sitting.

"No, instead he gave Harry plenty of candy and sugar, by the spoonful." She said this with a grumble. "I could kill him. Now he won't calm down. He's been running up walls." She paused. "Literally." Her frustration with Black made him smirk.

"Typical Black. I'm sure he wants a spoiled kid like him and Potter."

"Well, I don't want a spoiled brat for a child. I told him Harry could have one piece of candy, one! Apparently Sirius can't count and gave him ten pieces. 10 pieces! And then the git gave Harry plain sugar, straight sugar by the spoonful. He said Harry had two spoonfuls, but I could tell he was lying. I know he gave him more. Completely disobeyed my orders."

"Well, to be fair Sirius never did play by the rules."

"Well, I don't care for direct disobedience about how I want my child raised. If he has a child he can raise it however he wants to, but I am not listening to his nonsense on how he thinks I should raise James's son. That's how he worded it too, as James's son." She crossed her arms in anger. "He is my son and he never had a say on how either of us were going to rear Harry, ever! The nerve of the man!" She grumbled. "Look at him! Look what he did to him!" She pointed at Harry, who was running up and down the hallway from the front door to the back door, over and over.

Severus pursed his lips. He was trying not to laugh at the situation, but he couldn't help it. He thought she was cute when she was mad, particularly when she was mad at someone else and even more so when she was mad at Black. Lily mad at Sirius made his day. He smiled at Lily.

"And what may I ask is so funny."

"Sorry, Lily. It's just that this is the first time I've seen you mad at someone else in a long time. I love that is it Black that you are angry with, the git deserves it." He wasn't about to tell her the real reason he was smiling. Perhaps he would at some point, but not any time soon. He didn't want to scare her off. He was enjoying the friendship again and they had been getting along fairly well so far.

"Well, I," Lily was speechless for a moment. "Yes, he does deserve it." She grabbed the presents Black and Lupin and a few others had sent and set the packages under the tree. She stood up and admired the tree.

Lily smiled. "It's beautiful. Thanks again for letting me put up a tree."

"You've thanked me about a dozen times and a dozen times I've told you it was nothing really. You kept hinting you wanted one. You are the guest and I want you be happy here. Who know how long you will be staying."

She sighed. "Yes, and I appreciate all the help. You've really gone out of your way to make us feel at ease and I am grateful for that."

"Well, I don't want to make you miserable. It can be a bit dull around here."

"No, it's fine. I know it can't make life any easier for you, hiding us and also pretending to be a spy for the thing that's after Harry."

"I can hide quite a bit from the Dar-You-Know-Who, sorry." He corrected himself at Lily's look.

"I know." She looked at the tree again. "It's just very kind of you. Even though you don't care much for the holidays."

"It's just another day to me. It's never been very special. It was always was for you though, so it's the least I could do."

"I just want Harry to have a good Christmas." She sighed and looked at Harry, who was playing with blocks on the floor. He was stacking them up and then knocking them down wildly.

"Yes, well, I guess he should have one. I hope you do too." He was now standing beside her in front of the tree.

"It will be difficult. I know we weren't together long. Just a little over three years, but still, we spent the last three Christmases together. Our first Christmas together was right after we married. It was not so good because I was pregnant and very sick. He was only 4 months old last year. This is Harry's first real Christmas. We were hoping to start some nice traditions with him." Severus really didn't like to hear about the two of them together, but he always pretended to listen anyway.

"Well, you still can."

"Yeah, but things just seem so bleak. James is gone. The war is still going on. More muggles have been killed. The Death Eaters destroyed an office building." She looked at him. His expression was sullen. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you are one, sort of."

"I didn't know what they were doing. I wasn't with Travers. It was The Dark Lord," She gave him a reproachful look. "I mean You-Know-Who, sorry, Lils, bad habit." She gave a small smile. "It was his and Travers idea."

"But the muggles weren't doing anything. I just don't get it. It's an act of terrorism, that's what it is." She sat on the couch.

"Basically, yes, but more eugenics."

"Yes and I'm part of what he wants gone." He swallowed hard.

"Despite what I called you and despite what you think, I never would have harmed you, ever." She gave a curt nod.

"I believe you." She sighed. "I just want it end."

"Me too, Lils, me too." He sighed and sat in the chair across from her. She was watching the tree. He couldn't help but notice the sadness in her eyes. Harry had walked over to the tree and taken a bulb off without notice. He raised his arm as if ready to throw it.

"No!" Lily said to him, suddenly realizing what her son was doing. "We don't throw. Put it back please." He looked at her and put his hand down.

"No!" He said back.

"That's right. Put it back." He set it down. "Thank you." He turned back to the tree and attempted to take another ornament off it. Lily got up, took it out of his hands and put it up higher in the tree. She then put him on the couch with her. He fussed. "You are being awful feisty today, you know that? Damn Black." She muttered the last words, but Severus heard and curled his lip. Lily damning Black was music to his ears.

"Want it!" He cried.

"No, they aren't toys." She grabbed some books. "Here, look at these." He took one and started to flip through the pages. She rubbed her temple, her head was pounding. "I have a headache."

"Well, you did spend the morning at Black's. He always gives me a bad headache too. I think it's his presence. He just makes people ill." She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "There's a headache potion in the lab. I can get it for you if you want."

"No, I'll get it. He's been cutting more teeth. I think that's part of the reason he's being so cranky today, besides the sugar." The last words rolled off her tongue like venom at the reminder. "I want to get his teething ring." She got up.

"Fourth shelf, fifth from the left, I think. It's labeled anyway." She nodded and left the room. Severus grabbed one of his potions books on the table and began to read. Lily came back in shortly. She handed Harry a cold teething ring.

"I think I'm going to go lay down for awhile. Can you keep an eye on Harry?" He looked up.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to lay down for a bit."

"Alright, let me know if you need anything." She smiled and gave a nod before turning to Harry, who was looking at the book still. "He'll be fine." He said, sensing her apprehension. She nodded again and turned for the stairs. Severus watched her go before turning to Harry. He hadn't noticed she left and was looking at the images with excitement.

"Bear!" He exclaimed, pointing to an image in the picture book. Severus turned to his book once more. The kid was fine.

It was less than ten minutes later when he heard the creaking of the front gate. He set his book down and peered out the curtain. The snow was getting thicker, but he recognized two figures coming up his walk. The Malfoys. Of course they would come now because right now was a really bad time. He looked over at Harry. He had to do something quick. He jumped up and grabbed Harry, who seemed confused. He started to fuss. "Shh." He put his finger to his lips.

"Shh." Harry mimicked.

"Yes, we must be quiet." He gathered Harry's toys and stuffed them in their box fast and bolted up the stairs. He entered one of the spare rooms he had turned into a room for Lily and Harry. Lily was sound asleep. He put Harry on the floor with a coloring book and crayons. "Stay quiet." He shut the door as the doorbell rang. He put a charm on the room to silence it. Severus couldn't have Lucius and Narcissa know about Lily being here. All their lives were at stake if caught.

The doorbell rang again. He headed down the stairs. "Coming!" He shouted and pointed his wand to the toy box, waving it behind the tree. He started to open the door and noticed the booster seat in the kitchen. He banished it and opened the door.

"Afternoon, Lucius. Narcissa. And Draco." They had their baby with them.

"Afternoon, Severus." Lucius responded coldly, looking at his place with a bit of disgust. _Ever the snob_, thought Severus.

"Well, come in." Severus gestured them inside. They entered and he shut the door. "Well, can I get you all anything?"

"Oh, no thank you." Narcissa said with a small smile. She set Draco down.

"I am fine." Lucius said. It was then he remembered why they were here. He had said he would watch his godson for a couple hours while Lucius and Narcissa went the Holiday Ball. He resisted the urge to smack his forehead. How could he of all people forget?

"Just great." He thought to himself. "Now I have two toddlers to keep an eye on."

"Well, here's a bag of toys and things for Draco. I packed him some snacks and stuff. I just changed him before we came so he should be fine for awhile. I packed some potions and a dropper just in case he gets ill, but I hope not. His favorite blanket is in the bag too. He won't sleep without it."

"He'll be fine, Narcissa." Lucius said. "Don't baby him."

"He is a baby, Lucius." Severus sighed mentally. _Why had he agreed to this again?_ Oh, yeah, because he was the boy's godfather and because he figured Lily would be nearby to help. After all, Draco was just a bit older than Harry.

"Okay, then." She gave Draco a kiss and took a deep breath. "We should be back by 11." She walked out the door. "I hope he won't be too much trouble for you." They left. Draco was looking around the room. Severus figured he ought to check on Harry. He hoped he hadn't woken Lily up. He left Draco and went upstairs.

Severus found Harry scribbling on the dresser to his horror. He bit back the urge to lose his temper. Lily was still asleep and he wouldn't dare wake her. He snatched Harry and proceeded to leave the room. Before he did, he took one last look at Lily. He couldn't help but think she was just as beautiful as always. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and shut the door. At the top of the steps, he saw Draco fumbling up the stairs. He walked down and snatched Draco up. This was going to a longer evening than the night when he watched Lily's kid. Now he had the Potter and Malfoy brats to keep an eye on without any help from Lily.

He set both boys down in the living room. Harry took a ball from his toy box and rolled it around. Draco took it from Harry. "Mine!" He shouted. Harry started to cry. Severus collapsed onto his chair. He felt a headache coming on and rubbed his temple. He really hoped Lily would be up soon and feeling better.

"_Can anything in my life ever be simple" _He pondered. _"No, why ruin the gods' fun?"_ The fates always seemed to mock him and were probably having a good laugh. All Severus wanted was some whiskey, liquor, any type of strong drink really. He had a long evening ahead of him.

_**A/N:** Draco may be spoiled in the canon (and here too), but his behavior is actually typical of 18-month-olds. Everything and I mean everything, is "mine" to them. I'm sure at least some of the readers know this, but the note is for those who don't. Kids always have problems sharing. ; ) _


	12. 12: Twas the Night before Christmas

_Thanks to **Brbcool8, Warblers4Life, Shinywhiteboards, Kinole009x, MagicalNinjaUnicorn**, **Mrs. SRE Snape **and **Darkprince31 **for their nice reviews. _

_I wish the readers a lovely day (or night, depending on location and the time you read this)! _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 12: Twas the Night before Christmas**

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Enough!" He bellowed out. Harry stopped fussing and let go of Draco's hair. Draco stopped biting Harry's arm. Severus looked up at the old grandfather clock in the corner and got up from his chair.

"Need some help?" He turned and saw Lily descending the stairs.

"Well, I, we have company."

"I see." She gave a small smile.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes. I think I was just over tired and a bit stressed out." She tucked a lock of her auburn hair behind her ear. "I can take over for awhile if you want to start dinner or I can do dinner while you watch the kids?"

"No, please, take them. Lucius and Narcissa won't be back until eleven. I'm not up for being a babysitter to two brats."

"Oh, so this is their son."

"Yes, that's Draco."

"Their idea, not mine, but I agreed. No one is able to watch him tonight I guess."

"What about her sister?"

"Bellatrix?" He let out a scoff. "That woman wouldn't be fit to watch a small tank of fish for five minutes, let alone a toddler."

She laughed. "That is certainly true. The woman is crazy."

"I think the word you want is psychopath."

"Yes. There's also Andromeda, but I know, they consider her a blood traitor. Still, she has a daughter of her own, right."

"Yes, but they wouldn't let their son near them. The Malfoys wouldn't their son play with a half-blood born of a blood traitor. I am just an exception."

"Then again if they knew who you had in your home right now and who their son was playing with, they would probably have a heart attack. Harry's a half-blood as well."

Severus sneered. "Yes, they would, but in this case, what they don't know won't hurt them. The boy can't exactly say much. He won't give away your position."

"Done in by a one-year-old." She joked.

"Well, toddlers are quite the menace, if you ask me. They have mischief written all over them."

She laughed. "Well, they can be a handful, yes." She cleared her throat and the boys looked up at her. "Why don't I take them outside? Harry, can you get your shoes, please?" Harry headed for the front door. "Draco, can you bring me your shoes, please?" He looked confused for a moment as she pointed to the door before running off.

"The Malfoy kid won't know what you are talking about, Lily. I doubt the kid has ever had to do anything for himself. I have no qualms that he is spoiled rotten."

"Oh, I think he understood." Harry came in with his shoes, followed by Draco, who was carrying his shoes as well. "See. Simple tasks." She put on their shoes and bundled both boys up. "Okay, come one, boys. Let's go build a snowman." Lily took them out into the backyard.

Severus started some food, but watched out the window. The sun was beginning to set. Lily was showing them how to make a snowball. The snow was not very wet and the balls weren't really turning out well. They tried to copy Lily with little luck. Harry was running in circles around the yard and Draco attempted to eat the poorly constructed snowballs instead of throw them.

_A couple hours later_

Severus went into the living room, feeling slightly guilty for giving Lily an extra toddler to watch especially considering she had a headache earlier. He figured he ought to take the Malfoy brat for awhile and let her handle her own hyped up kid.

He stopped upon entering. Lily was sitting on the couch, both boys on her lap listening to her read and attempting to turn the pages of a book with her.

"When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter."

"Big Hat." Draco said, pointing to a picture in the book and looking at Lily. She smiled.

"Yes, that's a hat." He nodded as if satisfied. Lily continued. "Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash." She was reading the story slightly animated. "The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer!"

"With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick." She read the whole story with both boys completely enamored and quiet for the most part. Lily always had such a gentle way. She was nothing like his mother. She was caring and ready to help anyone in need. _So unlike himself_, Severus thought. That was part of the reason he liked her in the first place. Here was Lily, reading a children's story to Draco Malfoy, the son of two Death Eaters and it didn't bother her a bit. She didn't care about who his parents were, she just saw a toddler.

"And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night." She shut the book. "The end." Lily sighed. "Now I think it is time to give you both a bath, get you in your night clothes and put you to bed." She set them both down and got up. She took the boys upstairs.

Severus sat in the living room and looked at the tree Lily had decorated. He was not a fan of the holidays. Some people have thought them fun, but he was not into any of the nonsense. The carols, the gift exchanging, the trees, the lights, all of it was nauseating to him. He knew he sounded like Scrooge, but didn't care.

About an hour later, Lily came back down. "I'm going to make some hot cocoa, would you like a cup?"

"Sure." She disappeared to the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later.

"Here."

"Thanks, Lily." He took the cup. She sat down on the couch and watched the fire blazing in the fireplace. She could hear carolers outside singing Torme and Wells' _The Christmas Song. _She sighed before looking up. Severus was looking at her with a bemused expression.

"You know, it's sad really." He raised an eyebrow. "Seeing the boys asleep in the crib together. They could be friends in another time or universe, but prejudice has gotten in the way in this one. One evil man hell bent on controlling the world, wanting to rid of anyone who stands in his way. It is just a shame that these silly beliefs about one's bloodline matter at all. It ruins everything." It was Severus's turn to sigh.

"You are preaching to the choir." Lily turned her cup in her hand slightly, stirring a marshmallow around. It was silent.

"Severus?" He looked at her. She sighed. "I lied to you." He raised his eyebrow again.

"About what?"

"James."

"What about him?"

"He wasn't an auror."

"What did he do then?"

"Well, he started to train, but then his parents died and left him a fortune. A big, huge fortune and he decided to quit and live off the fortune."

"Oh. Why would you lie about that?"

She shrugged. "I didn't want you to think he was a bum living off his parents' money."

"That's what he was though."

"Lots of people do that."

"You mean those who were lucky enough to be born into great wealth. More people don't than do."

"Yes, true, but if they have the money, they do it."

"Yeah, well, I don't know, I don't think staying at home and sitting on your ass would be a good thing to do. It would make me feel useless. I'd literally go insane and end up in St. Mungo's." She gave a shrug in agreement and a nod.

"Well, it's good to know that if I do go mad, you will be expecting it."

"No, well, maybe, we all have the ability to go mad, don't we? Besides, if I didn't have Harry to care for I'd probably go crazy too." She chuckled.

"What did you do for the Order? I mean, won't they need aurors?"

"Oh, little things here and there like sending messages, providing safe spots and holding meetings, anything and everything really." She heaved a sigh. "I wanted him to continue the training, but he felt it unnecessary. I actually quit the program at his persistence. He said I'd never need to work a day in my life, but I wanted to at first. I mean, it is nice to not have to worry about money, but I didn't like being trapped in the house either. Once I became pregnant with Harry that changed. The sickness and fatigue forced me to stay in. We didn't do much. He had his parents' house-elves do the cleaning." She laughed. "James always got mad at me when I tried to clean anything myself. We would argue over it. I needed something to do, I was going crazy in the house."

"So, your marriage to Potter wasn't full of sunshine and roses, huh?"

"Well, it wasn't bad, but we did grate on each other's nerves at times. I think it comes with being near someone all the time. Little things they do start to annoy you. We loved each other, but I guess I needed more personal space and time to myself than he did. I felt like he smothered me at times. I guess he was just worried, but he could be so damn clingy. When I got pregnant, that increased ten-fold and on top of my raging hormones, it wasn't always pretty, no." She let out a stiff laugh.

"You said your first Christmas together, you were sick and pregnant, but weren't you and Potter married soon after graduation?"

"Yeah, that wasn't really a Christmas, so I try and forget about that one." She laughed. "It was a complete disaster. James parents died just a couple weeks before so we were in a mound of paperwork and arrangements and we didn't put any decor. James wanted to move into a new house right away and we moved to Godric's Hollow just before the holidays. We spent that Christmas packing and unpacking. James forgot his wand at the old place and it was just a rather unpleasant day in general."

"I know I shouldn't ask and you don't have to answer, but what was the rush to get married so quickly? I mean, you hadn't gone but a few months and you had barely graduated."

She shrugged. "I don't know. He asked, I accepted for one. Two, my father had died earlier that year and Petunia had just married and I had nowhere to go really. I thought that marriage would give me some stability." She took a sip of her drink. "And um, we thought we needed a quick wedding." He eyed her suspiciously.

"Why?"

"Why did we need a shotgun wedding? Oh, can you think of a reason?"

He nearly spit out his drink. "You were pregnant?" She gave a nod. He'd honestly always wondered if that was the reason, but he never heard about her having a baby until Harry. She had just confirmed his suspicions to have been true.

"We were afraid it wouldn't go over well with his parents and we had a shotgun wedding that July."

"But Harry's only 16 months old, what happened to the first baby?"

"I miscarried that September. I didn't want the baby at first. I never wanted to get pregnant in the first place, it just happened. I should have known better. Not exactly the model Head Girl, huh? We were hoping to claim it as a honeymoon baby. We gave the due date a couple weeks later than what it really was to his parents, but soon after I lost the baby. Few people even knew I was pregnant in the first place." She looked up at him. Severus was clearly shocked by this information.

"Just don't tell anyone. Only James, his parents, Remus and Sirius know about that. It's not something I like others to know. The baby never came to pass. I was quite devastated by the loss. James was relieved, fearing the truth would come out, so I tried not to show it, but I was starting to get used to the idea of having a family of my own again. I was married and going to have a baby, but then it got wiped out from under me and it hurt more than I thought it would."

"James knew I was upset though and asked if he wanted us to try for another one. At first, I said no. I couldn't think about it. I needed to grieve. I know the baby was not even close to being viable, but it was real for me. The morning sickness certainly reminded me so every day, at random times and it had a heartbeat already. It took almost a year before I finally agreed to have another and I was quite nervous at first about being pregnant, but everything was fine and I got Harry." She gave a smile, thinking about Harry.

"Don't worry, Lily. Your secret it safe with me."

"Thanks." Lily looked up at the clock. "It's almost eleven. They should be here at any moment."

"When they arrive, I'll get Draco and bring him down here."

"I'll go into your lab and pretend I'm not here."

"It's not that I don't want you here, you know? Under different circumstances-"

"Under different circumstances, I wouldn't be here in the first place." She gave him a tiny smile. "But they would be horrified to learn you had been hiding me here. They are Death Eaters and would sell you out to You-Know-Who in a heartbeat."

"They would sell us both out because even if they didn't want to do us harm, they'd end up tangled in the mess. Their lives would be at stake as well and he'd kill all of us without a second thought." She shuddered and shook her head, as if trying to get that thought out her mind. She looked out the window. Snow was still falling.

"I guess we'll be having a white Christmas after all." She said, changing the subject.

"Yes, and it would be much more pleasant if I didn't have to hear that incessant singing." Lily laughed, even though he was being serious.

"I think it's lovely." She listened to the carolers once more as they sang William Chatterton Dix's _What Child Is This?_ "I find it comforting and peaceful, as if there is some normalcy in all this chaos, a moment's rest in a time of war. I just hope it isn't a sign of things to come, like the calm before the storm."

"Let's hope not." Just then, the gate creaked open. They both set their cups down. Severus bolted up the stairs and Lily ran for the lab. Severus came down with a sleeping Draco and set him on the couch as the doorbell rang. He opened the door and let the Malfoys inside.

"How was he?"

"Fine. No trouble at all." Lucius looked around the room and zeroed in on something. It made Severus slightly nervous. Lily had already cleaned up Harry's toys and tucked them away. Had she missed one?

"I see you had some company, Severus." Severus turned and saw Lily's cup on the side table. He tried not to wince and thought fast.

"Oh, yes, old lady next door. She's a widow and tends to invite herself over quite often." He lied, feigning frustration. Lucius seemed to accept the lie.

"Yes, muggles and mudbloods lack good manners, don't they?" He nodded as if in agreement. Narcissa scooped Draco up into her arms.

"Thanks for watching him, Severus. We really appreciate it."

"No trouble at all. He's welcome anytime." He extended that invitation with the knowledge they wouldn't leave Draco with him very often. Narcissa preferred to care for her son herself and he knew this. She would hardly even let the house-elves near the boy.

"Wilkes was killed by aurors yesterday. The Dark Lord will be looking to get them back and I have no doubt he will call a meeting soon on his plans for revenge." _Great,_ though Severus, _that's how I want to spend my Christmas, with the Death Eaters._

"Well, that's a shame." He said, though he felt no sadness at all. Wilkes was asking for trouble, trying to kill the aurors as it was. It was slightly comical to him that the aurors beat him to the task.

"Yes, he was a good friend. Such a loss." He said with no remorse at all.

"We weren't that well acquainted, to be honest.

"But it is a loss of a Death Eater, nonetheless." Narcissa said. "Well, we should be going, it is quite late and family is coming for dinner tomorrow evening. Have a good Christmas, Severus." She said, walking out the door.

"You as well, Narcissa." They left. He closed the door and let out a sigh of relief.

Lily appeared moments later. "I'm glad that's over."

"Don't worry, they are the only ones who know where I live. They only know because I'm their kid's godfather."

"I heard that Wilkes died."

"Yes, not much of a loss, really. He was all but asking for a death."

"Aurors don't normally kill."

"I don't doubt Wilkes gave a fight and they had little choice."

"So, they will want revenge."

"Oh, yes, any excuse to get back at those against him." She looked down at the floor and took a breath.

"I really hope they don't find out the truth about you."

"Don't worry, they won't. I'll do whatever it takes to hide that knowledge. Heads will roll otherwise and I prefer to keep my head attached to my body."

"I'm not afraid to die as I know that possibility is very likely, but I'm not ready to die just yet and Harry's only a toddler. He needs the chance to live his life."

"He needs a good mother like you if he is to stand a chance."

"Thanks." She sighed. "It's late. I think I should go to bed. Night, Severus."

"Night, Lily." She disappeared up the steps. Severus took one last look into the living room. The carolers were still singing. This time it was Joseph Mohr and Franz Xaver Gruber's song.

"_Silent Night, Holy Night. All is calm, all is bright_." Severus felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He hoped Lily wasn't right and tonight's close call wasn't a sign of things to come.

"_Infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace._" They sang. Severus flicked the lights out and walked up the stairs. He touched his left arm where the mark was. Someone had to find a way to finish all this. Someone had to find a way to stop the megalomaniac. Someone had to find a way to end this war before it was too late.

_**A/N:** I know it is probably unnecessary, but the book Lily read was The Night before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore. This is just so no one thinks I haven't given proper credit where credit is due. Since Lily was raised "muggle", I chose a story I am sure she would have heard in her childhood. Plus, I wanted Lily to read a muggle story to Draco Malfoy. Oh, and the carolers are muggles, of course, so they are singing muggle songs. I just wanted this note before I get criticized. _


	13. Chapter 13: Merry Christmas

_Thanks to **The Wilde Rose, HughSoSexy, SHauthor, brbcool3, Scotty77, AlgophobianSadist, Darkprince31, Kinole009x, Singingequestrian89, Jordina, El Loco Uno, Ujemaima** and **OnyxEmerald** for their kind reviews! Once again, I appreciated it! I now have over 100 reviews! WOW! Thanks a million to all those who've alerted and favorited(not a real word, but it is here ;) ) this story as well! Muchas gracias! Many thanks!_

_Congratulations **Jordina**! You were my 100th reviewer! I have nothing to give you though. Does an internet high-five work?_

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 13: Merry Christmas**

It was 4AM and Severus decided to go down to his kitchen for a drink of water. He headed down the steps and started past his living room when a figure caught his eye. He stopped and saw Lily asleep on his couch. He had no idea why she was down here instead of up in her bed. He walked quietly into the living room and looked at her.

Her eyes were red and there were tissues around her. She had been crying. "Accio quilt." He mumbled. He put the tattered old quilt that was over his favorite chair on her. He decided to leave her and turned to head out of the room.

"Sev?" Lily said, waking up. He stopped and spun back around.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"I'm a light sleeper."

"Me too." It was silent a moment. "What are you doing down here?"

"I couldn't sleep so I came down here to think. What are you doing down here?"

"I was thirsty. I wanted a drink of water, but I saw you on the couch. You, um, looked cold, so I put a blanket on you. I wasn't intending to wake you."

"Oh, well, thank you." He gave a curt nod and turned back to the hallway and into the kitchen. He got a glass of water. He heard someone and turned to find Lily standing in the doorway. She pulled her robe closer to her and folded her arms under her breasts.

"Everything okay, Lily?" He asked, noting the look on her face that exhibited great concern. "Did something happen?"

"You mean besides everything that has already happened and keeps happening?" He let out a sad sigh and shrugged.

"Yes." It was quiet a moment.

"I just don't understand it, I never did." She blurted out. He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What don't you understand?"

"Any of this for one. It's all sick, disturbing and unnecessary." She hung her head for a moment. "Why Harry? Why a baby? That's what I don't understand. I mean, for pete's sake he's not even toilet-trained and that murderous bastard thinks Harry is a threat." Severus had to agree.

"It baffles me as well."

"I mean, he hates muggleborns and I am one, so why would he choose my child? Wouldn't he consider my child as nothing more than useless half-blood?" She paused. "Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want him after the Longbottom baby either, but I just can't wrap my head around it." He sighed.

"Sit down."

"What?"

"Sit down." He pointed to the table. She hesitated, but then took a seat. He sat beside her. "How much do you know about You-Know-Who or the prophecy?"

"That a male child was going to be born as the seventh month, July, dies. Harry was born July 31 and that he will have the power to defeat the Dark Lord, but that makes little sense. I know he wants to get rid of his perceived threat, but I highly doubt Harry and Neville are the only wizard child born at the end of July last year. The prophecy didn't say the boy would live in Great Britain, did it? No, and the child could be anywhere in Europe. You-Know-Who is a threat to those outside of Great Britain as well."

"I know, but he, for whatever reason, has chosen your child. Perhaps his half-blood status is the reason he picked Harry."

"But why would-"

"You-Know-Who is half-blood."

"I knew that, but why would that matter? He hates anyone not a pureblood. There are very few exceptions, sort of."

"The Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not. His equal would be a half-blood like himself. They would be like him." Lily cringed.

"No, my child won't be like him. Harry won't be a dark wizard. I'll do everything in my power to prevent it."

"It doesn't say Harry will be a dark wizard, just that he will be equal to the Dark Lord and have power he doesn't know. What that power is, I don't know."

"So, Harry could be his equal, but on the light side?"

"Yes, if the prophecy means him, Harry is apparently destined to be a very powerful wizard." He said this half serious, half joking.

"My Harry? One of the most powerful wizards? I don't know about that."

"Well, he certainly wouldn't get it from Potter, he would have to have gotten it from you. You are a very powerful witch yourself."

"Well, um, thanks, but don't knock James, he was talented."

"At boasting and bullying." He mumbled to himself.

"What?" Lily asked, not hearing what he said.

"Nothing." He cleared his throat. "Look, I don't know who the prophecy really means, but the Dark Lord believes it to be your son." Lily didn't flinch when he said the Dark Lord this time. "So, it is important to continue laying low until we can find a way to end it all."

"I know. I just keep going over it in my head. I keep thinking about it and I just don't know what to do. What about when he gets older? He needs to be around other people. I can't keep him hidden from the world. It is easy now because he's barely a toddler. He will need friends his age. He will need to be educated somehow before he ever goes to Hogwarts. It isn't fair to Harry to keep him from going out and just being a kid. I know many wizard children are educated at home, but they are allowed to play with other wizard children. Harry can't do that because he's a wanted child." She sighed.

"If no one has ended this war by the time Harry is school-age, I think I am going to enroll him in a muggle primary school. It would be safe for him and allow him to have friends and not be hunted down in the process." Severus didn't say anything.

"It's still early to make a decision yet. Like you said, the war may be over by then. Actually, I hope it is over before then. I want this to end as much as you do. Everyone will be able to breathe a little easier and sleep better at night knowing that threat is gone."

"That's certain." Lily said and got up. "Well, I figure Harry will be up another hour or two. So, I think I will go try and get a little rest before then. Thanks for listening to my frustrations. I appreciate it. I just need to vent to someone and I apologize you have to be in my line of fire."

"It's fine, Lily, honest."

"Merry Christmas, Severus."

Severus grumbled. "_What's merry about it_?" He thought, but answered. "You too, Lily."

_Two hours later_

"Look at your present, Harry. Sirius sent it to you." Harry wasn't paying any attention to the gift and instead was playing with the box. He attempted to climb inside the large box and fell inside, flipping the box upright. Harry peered out of the box and leaned over the side, flipping the box and himself back over on top on himself. Lily gasped, fearing he was hurt. Severus grumbled and lifted the box off the kid. Harry looked up at him, clearly confused at what just happened. Lily laughed.

"I don't why you all bothered with the toys. You should have just bought him a handful of boxes. He'll entertain himself for days."

"I think we should have." She chuckled.

"Dumbledore gave you a gift." She said, handing him a small box. He took it.

"Why would he give me a gift?"

"He gives everyone in the Order a gift. He gives gifts to many people." Severus opened it and found some candy.

"Why does the man assume I have a sweet tooth? I have refused those sherbet lemons of his each time he asks."

"He gives candy to everyone. He gave Harry a special teething ring last year too. This year," She unwrapped her gift from Dumbledore. "He gave me candy as well."

She helped Harry unwrap his gift from Dumbledore. "A yellow ball." Harry hit the ball and it bounced around the room in every which direction, nearly knocking one of the lamps over. Harry giggled with delight. Lily caught it when it came back.

"Well, um, we will have to play with this outside."

"Leave it to Dumbledore to give a toddler a ball that bounces on its own and wrecks my house." He mumbled.

"Yes, like the toy broom James gave Harry for his birthday. Harry loved the toy, but he ended knocking into a few things and broke a vase. James was disappointed when I made it a rule that the broom had to be played with outside." She chuckled at the memory.

"Already trying to get Harry to turn into him, huh?"

"I think he hoped Harry would play Quidditch, but there is no way to know yet if he will want to play."

"So you don't care if Harry doesn't play Quidditch when he gets to Hogwarts?"

"Not really, no. It's up to him. If he is good at it and wants to play, then great. If not, that's fine too. I just want him to do well at his studies and work at being a good wizard."

"Well, that's good." She handed him another present. "Another present? Who sent this one?"

"It's from me."

"You are giving me a present?" He asked, quite surprised by the gesture.

"Of course." She laughed at his surprise. "Why wouldn't I?" He opened it and looked at the three stones.

"Variscite?" She nodded. "But how did you-"

"Diagon Alley a couple weeks ago. They had some rare gems for sale and I found them. I knew you didn't have any and they help make the best calming potions." He smiled.

"Well, thank you." He handed her a small box. "This is for you if you want it." She smiled and took it.

She opened it and gasped. "This, you, you kept this?" He shrugged.

"Who else was I going to give it to?"

"I'm sorry about giving it back, but I was mad. We had a falling out." She cleared her throat and looked at the beautiful necklace with the green stone inside. "Well, thank you for giving it back. I loved it the first time and I think I love it more now. Thank you."

"I thought you might want it back." She touched the charmed rock and realized it had a different stone inside.

"This is, it isn't, it's a real emerald, isn't it?" He nodded.

"I decided to switch the stones. The old one was just a charmed rock." He gave a shrug and suddenly felt arms around him. Lily gave him a hug.

"Thank you. It is even more beautiful now."

"Um, well, I, uh, you're welcome." He cleared his throat, still in a bit of shock at her random hug. He wasn't used to hugs. He wasn't sure the last time he received one. He figured it was Lily who gave him a hug last. She was the only one who ever did hug him.

Lily put on the necklace. "Well, I think that's all the gifts. Perhaps we should go have breakfast. Lupin wants us to have Christmas dinner at his place. All the Order is invited and you are too."

"Will Black be there?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll pass." She sighed.

"You can't avoid the Order because Sirius will be there."

"Why not? It is working quite well. I'd rather not ruin the day by having to see Black's face."

"Fine, but I hate that you will be here by yourself on Christmas."

"A couple hours of peace and quiet won't hurt a thing." He paused. "Not that you annoy me or anything. I do like having you here." She laughed at his quick defense.

"Oh, it is fine. Everyone needs quiet time and Harry and I have sorted invaded your home."

"No, really, it hasn't been a problem. You could never be a problem." He cringed after he said this, hoping that it didn't sound wrong.

"Well, thank you. I hope I'm not any trouble. I hope neither of us are, honestly. I greatly appreciate you letting us stay here and doing all this for us, really." She picked Harry up onto her hip. He had a new toy car in his hands. "I think I'll fix some breakfast." She started out of the room, but turned back to him. "Happy Christmas, Sev."

"Happy Christmas, Lily." He said sincerely, looking at the rare stones in his hand. It was turning out to be a good day. He hoped nothing would ruin the mood.

_**A/N:** Variscite is a gem that is said to balance the nervous system and heal depression and anxiety. This is all lore, of course, but I thought it would be good for potions. It's a bit rare as well, found only in Utah and Nevada (USA), Brazil and Germany. _


	14. Chapter 14: Dinner at Lupin's

_Thanks to **Blueowl,Ujemaima, Ranma's girl1, Piscesgirl35,Jn.v13**, **Twichild369, Smile-bestthingintheworld, Irinaa3, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, RedStalkingDeath, Kungfooey, HughSoSexy, MissGracieKathy, Rosel, The Wilde Rose, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome **and** Kinole009x **for their kind and helpful reviews! You all helped me out of my rut, so to speak. I received more reviews on this chapter than other chapter before! _

_It wasn't required for anyone to contribute an idea, but I was curious if there was anything in particular any reader wanted to see or know more about for ideas. Thanks for the reviews and ideas. I may consider it for later chapters. _

_**Ranma's girl1 and Piscesgirl35** helped inspire the ideas for the chapter, so I'll dedicate this to you both! Thanks a million!_

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 14: Dinner at Lupin's**

"I can't believe I was talked into this." Severus said, straightening his robes. Lily was putting on Harry's coat.

"Dumbledore said he wanted you there for some reason." She picked Harry up. "Okay, we're ready to go." They headed out the door.

"It's going to look awkward walking to the alley. People may think we are, you know, a couple."

"Good." She said, matter-of-factly. "Then hopefully no boys will assume I'm single and try to get my number."

"Well, you are single."

"I'm a recent widow and I don't want anyone asking me out for a date randomly. You are a good cover. I'll look married with a child." He couldn't help but smile at the fact that she using him to her advantage.

"You know, Lily, I always knew you would have made a good Slytherin." She stopped and looked at him with shock. "You can be rather cunning, using me to your advantage."

"Well, I didn't mean it that way. I don't want to use you. I'm sorry if it came out wrong."

"No, really, it is very clever." Harry dropped the bear he was holding and started to fuss. Lily picked it up and handed it back to him.

"He loves the bear you got him. He even napped with it this afternoon." She said with a smile at Severus.

"It's just a stuffed toy." In truth, he figured he ought to give the kid something. Lily and Harry had lost many of their possessions after Voldemort had set the home on fire after his failed attempt to kill Harry.

"Not to him. I am glad you got it for him. Out of all the toys he was given, he picked yours as his new favorite."

"He doesn't like the ride-on dragon Sirius gave him."

"Not really, but he still likes the box it came in. I think the toy scares him a little bit. Maybe he'll like it more when he's older." They apparated to Lupin's home. Lily knocked on the door. Lupin answered and welcomed them inside.

"Everyone is in the next room." They entered to find about two dozen other people there. Severus could feel several eyes on him as he entered the room. Many of the women came to greet Lily and coo over Harry, saying how big he had gotten. Lily ended up being pulled into the kitchen and Harry was passed around the older women.

"Isn't he just adorable?"

"Look at him. He looks just like James, doesn't he?"

"Yes. I wonder if he'll be as good a chaser as James."

"I have no doubt. It's in his blood."

"He's just the cutest thing. Aren't you? Aren't you?" Some girl said to him in baby talk. Severus rolled his eyes, slightly disgusted. Harry didn't seem to like all the commotion over him and began to fuss and squirm.

_Not much like his father yet,_ thought Severus_. Potter would have eaten up the attention._

The Weasleys turned up as they entered the small dining room that had an extension charm on it so everyone could fit. The women began to fawn over the Weasley children next.

"Oh, look at her. She's adorable. I bet you are glad it is a girl this time after six boys." One middle-aged woman said.

"I haven't seen your children in ages. How old are you they now?" Another woman said, pinching Fred's cheek. Fred looked annoyed.

"Ginny is four months old already and Ron is almost 22 months now. Fred and George are three and a half and are quite a handful, if I do say so. Percy here is five, Charlie just turned nine and Bill turned eleven last month."

"So Bill will be going to Hogwarts next year?"

"Yes, we can't wait."

"I bet. One less howler monkey quiets the zoo." He mumbled to himself and felt a sharp nudge in his ribs. Lily had elbowed him. "Ow." He rubbed his ribs where she had struck him and looked at her, confused. She glared at him. "What?"

"Be nice." She snapped at him.

"I am only being honest." She rolled her eyes. Lupin cleared his throat.

"Dumbledore would like to speak to you all about the Order."

"Thank you, Remus." Dumbledore stood up. "First, I wanted to say that it has been awhile since we met. I thought we might start our feast with a moment of silence for Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Dorcas Meadows, the Bones family, Fabian Prewett, Gideon Prewett, the McKinnon family and James Potter. They have all lost their lives in this war to Death Eaters. Also to Frank and Alice Longbottom, though alive in body, are no longer alive in spirit." Everyone's head was bowed.

"Now, on to better news. I have yet to introduce a new member of our Order." Severus looked up at Dumbledore, knowing full well who this new member was. "Severus Snape has joined our side and the Order." Everyone was looking at him now. He didn't like the attention. Just to make the glares even more unpleasant, Alastor Moody, a well-known auror took his seat beside Severus.

"Aren't you a Death Eater?" Before Severus could say anything, Moody grabbed his left arm. Severus swallowed hard, knowing what Moody was about to do. He doubted the others would be quite so easy to convince of his new allegiance.

"Did I say you could grab my arm, Moody?" Moody glared at him.

"I know a Death Eater when I see one." He started to pull Severus's sleeve down.

"There will be no need for that, Alastor. Severus is on our side. You will have to trust me on this one." Moody mumbled a few unpleasant choice words.

"Like ya trusted Pettigrew. Look where that got us." Mundungus Fletcher spoke up.

"I trust him." Lily said. Severus turned to her. She did?

"Well, ya trusted Pettigrew too and now look at ya, you a widow now."

"To be honest, I didn't know Pettigrew all that well. He and I weren't really friends. He was friends with James."

"I still don't trust him."

"Should we trust you, Fletcher? You are a known thief, after all." Lupin said.

"I don't do no thieving no more. Thieving isn't as bad as killin'"

"It is still a crime, Mundungus. Besides, I trust Severus. He was the one who figured out where Pettigrew was. He helped us to capture Pettigrew and Rastaban Lestrange." Dumbledore spoke. Fletcher grumbled a few colorful words that made Molly pull her eldest sons to her and cover their ears.

"Watch your language, Fletcher. Children are in the room."

"Let's dig in, shall we, Lupin? I know we are all grateful you invited us into your home for dinner." Severus rolled his eyes. Everyone was having their own conversations and he stayed quiet. An elderly woman, who was sitting on the other side of Harry, turned to Lily.

"So, Lily, have you found a new mate yet?" Lily looked at her, astonished.

"No, it's barely been two months."

"Plenty of wizard men would gladly take a young and intelligent witch like yourself for a bride." Lily felt disgusted.

"I do not wish to marry so soon."

"Well, it is not very acceptable for such a young thing such as yourself to stay single. You don't want to stay bitter forever and end up an old spinster. You have many skills to offer and would make someone else a good wife as well. With that cute figure you've got, plenty of men would pay money to take it." Lily didn't kindly to those words and sucked in air. Severus watched her, knowing she was about to explode.

"I am not a pawn to be auctioned off at a market! Nor am I a spinster! I was married, after all!"

"You know that's not what I meant, dear."

"Then what did you mean?"

"That you should try and find someone to settle down with again."

"I am not ready to settle down yet."

"Fine, but when you do, there are plenty of men available. I wouldn't wait too long though or all the good men will be taken."

"I think I'll be fine, but thanks anyway."

The old woman turned to another young woman and began to lecture her on being single. Severus turned back to his food. Moody was watching him like a hawk, as if waiting for his prey to make the wrong move so he can swoop in. It made him very uncomfortable. He had no idea Dumbledore why had wanted him to be here so bad, besides putting Severus on the spot. Right now, he wished he had stayed home and made a calming potion with the Variscite Lily gave him. He could certainly have used the draught right now.

A woman across from Lily suddenly gasped. "Lily, where did you get the necklace?"

"It was a gift."

"It's beautiful. Who gave it to you?"

"A friend."

"A male friend?" Lily frowned.

"I don't think that matters."

"It matters."

"No, it doesn't. It was an old gift really. This friend gave it to me in our fourth year at Hogwarts. My mother had passed away just a couple months before and my friend gave it to me as a birthday present to cheer me up. However, we had a falling out after our fifth year and I gave it back to said friend in my anger. We have gotten back in touch recently and became friends again, so he gave it back to me."

"So it was a lad." Lily sighed. "Will you two be, you know, going out?"

"No. We are just friends. We were once best friends. He gave it to me as friend."

"It really brings out your eyes."

"Thanks."

"So, do we know this boy?" Lily didn't answer, only rolled her eyes.

"Don't even start."

"Start what?"

"There is nothing going on, so don't start any gossip, Mae." Mae started to protest. "This conversation is over." Sirius was seating across from Severus. Sirius was looking at him rather suspiciously.

"You were the one who gave her that necklace, weren't you?" He hissed. Severus glanced at Black a second and ignored him.

"What are were trying to do, make her forgive you?"

"I wasn't trying to do anything."

"Except try and win her affection. She just lost her husband."

"It was her gift, Black. I thought she should have it back." He whispered through gritted teeth. Sirius flicked a pea at Severus, but it fell short of his plate. "Nice throw, Black. How mature of you." Severus looked away and started to eat some of his yorkshire pudding.

A moment later, Severus caught Sirius pulling his spoon back, ready to use it as catapult. The pudding flew his direction and Severus ducked out of the way. The pudding missed him and hit Alastor Moody in the side of his face. Moody turned to Severus, who pulled himself back up and glared daggers at Black.

"Who hit me with their food?" Sirius pointed at Severus, who was glowering at Black. Moody looked at Severus. "Snape?"

"I was the target." Severus said, putting his hands up in defense. Moody looked between Sirius and Severus a few minutes before griping to himself. Moody then threw one of his Yorkshire puddings at Sirius. The pudding smashed into his face. Severus tried not to laugh as others gasped.

"You think it is funny, do you, Snivellus." Sirius threw one of his own puddings at Severus, but Severus ducked his head. The pudding smashed into Emmeline Vance's hair. She screamed. Lily threw her hand up her temple.

"Somethin' fun, finally." Mundungus Fletcher spoke. "Food fight!" He called and grabbed a handful of peas and threw them at Elphias Doge. Doge got angry with Fletcher and flung a stack of carrots back at him with his wand. The carrots missed and hit an elderly man. It was then that all hell broke loose.

_A/N: There are people at the dinner who were not in the first Order, but who are still on their side. Also, the spinster comment: This was partly taken from a real conversation someone I know had. The young girl was also a widow (22 years old) and had an infant. An older woman expected her to find someone else because she'd be a "spinster" otherwise. _


	15. Chapter 15: Repercussions

_Thanks to **Twichild369, Ranma's girl1, Kinole009x, Narutonarutolove, Blueowl, Rosel, MissGracieKathy, OnyxEmerald, Ujemaima, Shinywhiteboards, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, MagicalNinjaUnicorn, Jordina,Icansoar, Darkprince31** and **Harrylee94 **for their reviews! Thanks to **Mrs. SRE Snape** for their review for chapter 13. I received it literally right after I posted the last chapter, so you didn't make my last thanks list._

_Well, here's another update. My classes will be starting next week so I know that soon after that I will have to take a break for awhile. Of course, I still hope to add updates here and there when I get the chance (or when I feel the need to procrastinate *coughs*). School does come first and I am hoping for this to be my last year of it for awhile. It's been a hard and rough road and I am so close I can taste it. I hope it will have all been worth it (especially for what it costs, college isn't exactly cheap). _

_Also, I do not have a beta. I apologize if it is hard to follow, but it is supposed to be random since Sirius is meant to be a bit inebriated. I try, but I am the only editor of this story. It's not always easy to edit your own work. I did notice some random errors and typos when redoing this that I fixed. _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 15: Repercussions**

It was a matter of seconds before food began to fly from every which direction. Severus tried to keep from being hit, but still managed to have some of the puddings strike his face. Lily tried to protect Harry from the flying carrots and goose to no avail. Instead, she had a whole serving of Christmas pudding hit her face and hair. Harry attempted to throw some potatoes, seeing everyone else throwing food and aimed at Sirius, since everyone else was. He hit Sirius's shirt.

"Harry, no!" Lily yelled, too late as the potatoes flew.

"Look on the bright side," Severus whispered. "At least he aimed it at the right person." Lily didn't seem to see the bright side. Even Dumbledore and McGonagall got pelted with flying food. To both Severus and Lily's surprise, Dumbledore didn't seem to care enough to stop the madness. The food fight only lasted five minutes at the most, but it seemed much longer. It was only when people began to throw punches instead of food that Dumbledore decided things were getting out of hand.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore called out. Everyone stopped. Sturgis dropped Mundungus, who hit his head on the chair. A young man dropped the peas in his hand and they bounced off his plate and rolled onto the floor. Two bickering middle-aged women stopped arguing mid-sentence. A man crushed his potatoes in his hand. Moody gave Sirius one last whack with his cracker for good measure, which popped open. "No more throwing of food. I think we've all had our fun." Neither Severus nor Lily thought the food fight was much fun. They weren't the only ones. Many people were looking at Mundungus and Sirius fiercely. It became clear that not one person in the room of about fifty people had escaped the chaos unscathed.

After dinner, everyone worked to clean up the room before cleaning themselves up.

"Get me a towel, Sirius." Lily snapped as she helped clean up the dining room.

"I'm not a slave, Lily."

"Do it! This is your fault in the first place." She was in no mood to fight. The evening already had her on edge.

"Mundungus started the fight, not me."

"YOU started it by throwing food at Severus. Now get me a towel so I can clean up Harry." She said angrily at Black. Black looked at her fiercely. She didn't back her stare down. He finally gave in and got her a towel.

Lily cleaned off Harry and attempted to get the bits of pudding out her hair without much luck. She soon gave up and entered the living room with the others. The Weasleys and another couple with two small children left. The house seemed much quieter after they left despite young children still running around and the loud and tipsy adults.

Lily set Harry on the floor with some toys while she talked to a couple of the women. Severus ended up in a conversation with Bartholomew Abney, who had gone to school with Severus and Lily. It was mostly a one-sided conversation with Severus saying little and Bartholomew discussing his achievements since school ended. It appeared he hadn't done much.

"So, what made you decided to join the Order? Where have you been the past few years? I haven't heard or seen you around London when I come in town. I reckoned you'd be off with the other Slytherins who were so intent on becoming Death Eaters."

"I have my reasons and I have been around, Abney."

"It took you awhile to join our side, didn't it?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "What took so long to become a member, Severus, isn't it?"

"Yes and you really don't have any room to speak since you aren't technically a member of the Order, now can you?

"Well, I am not able to do so, you see, I have had to move to Liverpool since school ended. I've been working at my grandfather's robe shop there." He continued to talk and Severus only half listened. He looked around the room at the others. It was clear that Fletcher and Sturgis Podmore had too much wassail. They were cracking up at nothing and their speech was rather slurred as they sang the Wassailing song out of tune. It was clear Black was also getting a bit tipsy too as he joked with Lupin.

He looked over at Lily, who was smiling and talking to Elizabeth Malone. Malone had also gone to school with them. She had been a Gryffindor, but was a year younger. He only remembered her because she used to hang around with Lily a lot.

"And she's considering my offer. What about you, Severus? Got yourself a girl yet?" Severus snapped back to the conversation.

"No."

"None of those Slytherin girls any good for you or have they all been snatched up." Severus bit back the urge to scoff. He really hadn't thought much about the other Slytherin girls, truthfully. He'd always had his eyes on only one girl, really. He didn't dare look in her direction at that moment. He wasn't about to give any indication he had ever liked Lily as more than a friend. Why he had only liked Lily, no one ever knew, but she was still the only girl who had ever looked at him without complete pity or disgust. She had been his first real friend, his only best friend and he had yet to meet anyone else who could rival her.

"Not really, no."

"Oh. What about any girls in any other houses?"

"We aren't in school anymore, Abney."

"Well, all the witches around went to Hogwarts, didn't they?"

"Most did." Severus really didn't want to have this conversation. He looked over at Dumbledore, who was talking with Filius Flitwick.

"Now she was hot, wasn't she?" Abney asked. Severus just shrugged. He wasn't exactly listening and was not sure who Abney was speaking of to give him a proper answer. "We had some Chinese couple come in the shop recently. They were touring England-" Severus wondered if Abney ever shut up.

Sirius was playing with Harry on the floor near Severus and Bartholomew. Sirius, who was a bit drunk, took one of the extra crackers and pulled it. It made a loud pop and Harry screamed in fright and started to cry. "It's only a toy. Here, look, a king's crown." Harry ran to closest person he knew in the room. To Severus's dismay, that happened to be him. He felt something thrust against his left leg and looked down to find Harry, clinging to his leg in terror and crying. Severus turned to Sirius in frustration.

"What did you do to him this time, Black?" He mocked.

"He was afraid of the cracker."

"Was he? Or was it you?" Severus looked around for Lily, but she seemed to have disappeared from the room.

"Well, I'll take this as my cue to go." Abney said and walked off to have a conversation with someone else. After he left, Sirius took a step closer and reached into his robes for his wand. Harry clutched Severus's robes tighter with one hand, the bear Severus had given him in the other.

"Come on, Harry. No one will set off anymore crackers. Let's get away from Snivellus." Sirius said, reaching for Harry, but when he did so, Harry hid behind Severus. While Severus was far from thrilled that Potter's kid kept getting attached to him, he was quite happy to see Black so disgusted and aggravated.

Severus started to reach for his own wand when he stopped. There was a better way to get back at Sirius. Sirius stepped closer. Harry cried and reached up at Severus, clearly wanting to be picked up. Severus looked at Black with an unreadable expression. Sirius sighed, putting his wand away. Severus picked Harry up, partially because he figured the kid was going to wipe snot on his robes and partially because he knew it would tick Sirius off. Sirius glared at Severus.

"I think Lily needs to move out of your place. She's been there long enough." Sirius said, clearly irritated.

"Speak with her about it if you have a problem, Black."

"We can protect her just fine."

"You sure did a great job before."

"She and Harry are still alive, aren't they?"

"You had no part in that. Lily got herself out. She's just intelligent like that."

"You despise mudbloods like Lily." Severus pretended to gasp.

"Tsk, Tsk, Black, wonder what Lily will think when she hears what you just called her."

"You called her that first!" Black hissed, his speech a little slurred. "I was not calling her that anyway. That's what your people think about girls like her?"

"My people, Black? Who are my people?"

"Those Death Eater friends of yours!" Sirius grabbed for Harry, who began to wail. Harry clutched Severus's robes in his hands. This posed a bit of a problem. The more Sirius attempted to get Harry to let go, the tighter Harry held to Severus's robes, nearly choking Severus. Suddenly, Black's hair turned bright red.

"Okay, enough, Black. Just leave the kid already before he either rips my robes or chokes me to death."

"That would make everyone lose their dinner. Perhaps I should try it for the laughs, huh?" Severus glowered at Black.

"Like your red hair?" Severus's lip curled. Black grabbed at his hair. "I guess Lily doesn't have to worry about her kid being a squib."

"I think you did it, Snivellus." Black aimed his wand at him.

"You are forgetting that right now, you and I, we are one-on-one. You have no James Potter to fall back on and god only knows Lupin never participated in the fights. He would always turn his head or bury his face in a book. It's not likely he'd do anything now, either. You know as well as I do that I could take you in a duel. I suggest you not even try." Severus hissed.

"Is that a threat, Snivellus? Do you want to duel?"

"No, Black, I don't. I was only making a statement."

Sirius grumbled to himself and put his wand away. "Just give me Harry."

"I don't think he wants you, Black." Sirius took a step forward, looking livid and pulled out his wand again. Harry buried his face into Severus's robes and whimpered. This noticeably sent Black over the edge.

"I don't know who you are or what you think you are doing, Snivellus, but I won't let it happen? I swear to you, I won't allow it."

"What are rambling about, Black? You know perfectly well who I am or did the wassail cause you to have a memory lapse?"

"You are trying to take Lily and Harry away from us."

"You are acting paranoid, Black."

"No." Black flicked his wand. Whatever the spell was, Severus stopped it in anger.

"Trying to hex me, were you, Black? Are you forgetting Harry here is attached to my neck?" Harry's arms were wrapped around Severus's neck now, tightly. Severus really wanted to put the kid down, but at the same time, he knew Black wouldn't do any serious harm as long as Harry was attached to him. Black pointed his wand at Severus's face. Neither had noticed that Lily had shown back up and was watching them nervously nor did they notice any of the others now watching.

"You are nothing, Severus. You will never be one of us, got it. I want you to stay away from us."

"You don't have that say, Black. If you wish for me to stay away from you though, that can arranged and I won't feel the slightest regret."

"I want you to go back to your Death Eater pals and leave us all alone. That's what Slytherins are supposed to do, to become."

"So, you are mad at me for not following the status quo when you yourself did just that by becoming a Gryffindor."

"A Gryffindor is what Harry will be, you know? Both of his parents were in Gryffindor."

"Both of your parents were in Slytherin and you didn't up there, did you?"

"My parents weren't good people."

"Neither are you, Black."

"Better than they are."

"Are you now?" Severus asked, feigning a puzzled look. "Could have fooled me?" Black looked beyond livid now.

"Don't make me humiliate you like in school, Snivellus. Remember that incident where we hung you upside down."

"A threat, Black? Using my own spell? Don't make me laugh." Lily approached them.

"Guys, don't start, please. People are looking." She pointed at some of the others. Sirius didn't seem to care. Severus handed Harry to Lily.

"He turned Black's hair red." Severus told her. "So you don't have to worry about him being a squib."

"Really? His first bit of accidental magic?" She said, surprised, but thrilled. She didn't get the chance to say anything more because Black made his move, catching Severus off guard. Severus found himself choking on soap bubbles. He pulled out his wand. Black saw him and attempted an expelliarmus, but Severus was quicker and Black was flung backward. He hit two men and knocked them over. Some women screamed.

Severus undid Black's curse and got to his feet. Black picked himself up as well and flung another curse at Severus. Severus was prepared this time and the curse rebounded to Black, who blocked it. Severus and Sirius shot a few hexes and jinxes back forth a few times.

"Stop it, both of you!" Lily shouted as Severus sent a hex at Sirius. Sirius blocked it and looked at Severus with shock. Severus looked back at him, a bit confused. He'd only tried a simple hex.

"That's it, Snivellus, you really are one of them, trying those curses on me!"

"I didn't do anything harmful to you, but that can be arranged if you want."

"You are useless, Severus. You want to fight, well then, we'll fight. Everyone wants to see you fall. You were meant to fail, just like all Slytherins. Everyone in this room would laugh if I humiliated you right now."

"Is that so, Black? That's what you wanted to see, huh? Me fail? How pathetic." Black pointed his wand at Severus again.

"You can't have it, Snivellus. They don't belong to you."

Severus looked at him, perplexed. "What in god's name are you talking about?"

"I know what are really after. You want one thing from us and you can't have it. Leave, drop this whole act or I'll spill your secret." Everyone was listening now, even if some pretended not to be.

"You know a secret about me, Black? Really? I was unaware I had an agenda or a secret."

"I knew it in school. James knew it too, but we wouldn't let you have it. You see, Slytherins don't belong with us."

"Black, I prefer not to have nonsense screeched at me."

"Are you going to leave us all alone or not?"

"I will gladly leave you alone, if you chose not to bother me either."

"Well, if you'd stop your goading, I wouldn't feel the need to bother you, is it? Do I bother you?" Sirius looked happy about the prospect that he bothered Severus.

"Yes, like an annoying gnat that keeps trying to get into your eyes."

Sirius huffed bitterly. "Just go back to your Death Eater pals and leave the rest of us be. I don't care how you came to be on our side, but no one trusts you nor do they want you here."

"I'm not going anywhere, Black, so get over yourself."

"Fine, then I'll tell everyone your secret. You want her." Severus looked at Black curiously. "You always did. You liked her back in school. I saw how you looked at her, how you still look at her."

"I want her?" Severus asked, acting as if he had no idea who Black was speaking of, but he had a feeling where this was going and he was prepared.

"Lily. Severus likes her. He always did. That's why he hated Potter so much." Sirius was speaking to everyone now.

"No, I hated Potter because he was an arrogant, egotistical bully."

"Of course he liked Lily, they used to be friends, remember." Lupin said, stating what seemed like the obvious.

"No, Remus. He didn't just like her. He had a crush on her. I know he did. You like Lily, Snivellus, admit it. You only joined us to get to her."

"Don't be stupid, Black." Severus had no idea how Black knew that he liked Lily, but he wasn't trying to win her like a prize. He did like her, but she had neither known nor reciprocated.

"You know it is true." Severus could feel all eyes on him. He put up his occlumency shields before continuing. Lily wasn't the only reason he joined the Order, but she was certainly the reason he decided to switch sides in the first place.

"Come on, Sirius, be realistic here." A young man said. Severus didn't know his name, but knew he had gone to Hogwarts with them. He thought he was a year older, but couldn't recall. He remembered him from the Quidditch games. "He was a Slytherin, remember. Slytherins don't like muggle-borns. He wouldn't have liked Lily that way."

'Oh, he did. In the end, he lost. He chose the Death Eaters and Lily chose Potter." Sirius said as if proud. "He probably told Voldemort where they were in the hopes that Potter would die and he could have Lily."

"That makes about as much sense as selling ice to Eskimos, Black."

"You are not supposed to be here. I'll make sure you don't come back."

"Is that so?" Severus asked skeptically. "Stop the charades, Black. Cut to the chase. What is your deal? Are you trying to make yourself look like an idiot with your nonsense or are you trying to get back at me because Potter's kid likes me better? What is it?"

"GET OUT!" Sirius suddenly shouted.

"You can't throw me out. It's not your place."

"Lupin, throw him out!"

"Now you are telling your last real friend what to do?"

"He'll do it if I ask."

"Is Lupin really that much of a coward? Is he really like your pathetic friend, Pettigrew?"

"Pettigrew was nothing like us."

"If Lupin is willing to follow your every whim in sick devotion, then he's do better. I should think Lupin would have more willpower than that."

"Leave it, Sirius. Let it go." Lupin said, trying to calm his friend down to no avail.

"GET OUT!" Sirius called again and flicked his wand at Severus, who blocked the hex.

"Attempting my own spell on me, Black? Are you really that dense to think I wouldn't see it coming. I invented that spell!"

"You have failed to see it before."

"Yes, I remember it quite well and really what I should do is do that spell on you right here in front of everyone." Black let out a laugh.

"Yes, please. Then we can show everyone who you really are: A Dark Arts maniac." Severus's eyes bore into Black, nothing but pure hatred in them. Severus pointed his wand at Black.

"Evus." Harry said suddenly. This caused everyone to turn to Harry. Severus turned as well, a bit shocked that Potter's kid had attempted, albeit poorly, to say his name. That second of non-vigilance gave Black a chance to strike again. Severus suddenly found himself wand-less. He turned to Black.

"Acc-"He started, but found himself thrust backward, bound in ropes and covered in boils before he could finish the sentence.

"Now, that's payback for that levicorpus you used on me at my parent's place." Black leaned over Severus and grabbed his left arm. "I'll prove you aren't on our side." Lily pulled her wand out instantly, but didn't need to do anything because Dumbledore had decided the men were going too far.

"Sirius, that will be enough!" Dumbledore shouted. Sirius turned to Dumbledore before letting go of Severus's arm.

Severus took this moment and accioed wand came to him. He undid the spells and aimed his wand at Black, prepared for revenge when he heard others talking.

"Do you think he has the mark?"

"I bet he does. Did you see the look of panic on his face?"

"I don't think he's reformed. I bet he curses Sirius." Severus put his wand down and turned to Dumbledore.

"Is there anything else you need from me, Dumbledore?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"No, Severus."

"Then I have overstayed my welcome. Accio Cloak." He called. His cloak came to him and he threw it on. He turned and walked out of the living room, thrust open the door and slammed it shut. Lily watched him leave.

"Good, now we can all relax." Lily turned to Sirius. He looked at her. She shook her head. "What?" Her eyes bore into his. "Oh, come on, Lily, don't tell me you are taking his side?"

"Yes." She said without hesitation. "Both of you need to stop this stupid grudge and grow up already!" Lily pointed her wand and cleaned up Harry's toys and accioed the bag.

"Lily"

"I don't want to hear it!" She yelled at him. "We are leaving. Thanks for the evening, Remus and Happy Christmas. The dinner was lovely and we appreciated it." He nodded to her with a smile.

"Thanks for your help cleaning up the aftermath. We enjoyed your company. Merry Christmas."

"Lily, don't you dare go with him. He'll harm you. I don't trust him."

"What do you think he'll do to me, Sirius?"

"I don't know, all that Dark Arts crap he knows, I hate to find out."

"He won't harm me. He's on our side. You are being paranoid."

"How do you know he won't do anything? He likes you, it is so obvious."

"Oh for crying out loud, Sirius, he won't do anything. He has never given me any indication that he likes me as more than a friend, so get a hold of yourself." Sirius grabbed her arm as she turned to the door. She jerked it away. "Don't touch me, Sirius."

"You can get your own place. There is no reason to stay with him. Why would you unless you like him too? Do you like him like that?"

"No!" She said in exasperation. "Just stop the nonsense. I want to stay with him. His home is the safest place for us right now. He's not going to give us up."

"I still don't believe he is truly on our side."

"If he was on the Death Eater's side, both of us would be dead already, so give it a rest. Good night, Sirius and Happy Christmas everyone." She opened the front door.

"Lily-"

"I said good night!" She left the house, nearly slamming the door on the way out.

_A/N: Don't forget that Sirius is intoxicated during these altercations, but that's not necessarily an excuse for his behavior, but is certainly explains it better. Alcohol can definitely intensify reactions and exasperate problems and sometimes make people paranoid, though I have no idea why. I have seen it happen a lot. For the record, I don't drink so I'm not talking about me, honest. ;)_


	16. Chapter 16: Old Grudges Die Hard

_Thanks to **Harrylee94, Blueowl, Alethea27, El loco uno, Scotty77, Mrs. Ferb Fletcher, Kinole009x, HughSoSexy, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Jordina,xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, Darkprince31,DarkPhoenix-24, Ujemaima, Shinywhiteboards**, **Narutonarutolove, Brbcool8, GravityonEarth **and** MarissaRose** for their reviews. _

_No one in the room knows where Severus lives besides Dumbledore, Remus and Sirius. Sirius is the only one you have to worry about spilling the beans, so to speak. I'll go ahead and say that the fact that others overheard this will be important later, but no one in the room would ever intentionally betray them. _

_Brbcool8: I reread the last chapter and realized my last edits didn't take. They should be fixed now. I do proofread, but I still seem to always miss a few minor errors. I apologize for that. I am not perfect. _

_I know how I want this to end completely, but I am thinking I may split the story and create a sequel. So I am still debating this. _

_Also, Severus's cover as a former Death Eater is NOT blown. The others can only assume, they have no proof to claim otherwise. Everyone who wasn't in the Order at the dinner/get-together was friends with Order members. They are all on the Order's side. A lot of them went to school with Severus, so they know that Severus was a Slytherin. That reputation makes them presume he would be a Death Eater (and he formerly was). The only people who know the truth are Dumbledore, Lily and Sirius and Lupin has likely guessed it. _

**Chapter 16: Old Grudges Die Hard**

Lily slowly opened the front door and went inside the house. She quietly closed the door and set Harry down. She took off her coat, as well as Harry's. Lily debated on whether to go upstairs and give Harry a bath and put him to bed or to find Severus and make sure he was okay. She wasn't sure why she didn't think he was okay. He was an adult and could handle himself just fine, but the evening had turned out so awful, she felt uneasy.

She decided to just see if he was in the kitchen or his lab before she took Harry upstairs. Lily picked Harry up and went into the kitchen. She found Severus sitting at the end of the table, an empty glass in front of him. His hands were over his face. Lily looked around the room. A few things had been broken. She sat Harry down on a chair and uneasily approached him. She slowly touched his shoulder. He jumped like a rocket, causing her to jump back in fright as well. He turned to her.

"Oh, it's just you. Sorry."

"Who else would it be?" She asked with a small chuckle. He shrugged. "Are you okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He said this as he rubbed his temple with both hands.

"Well, because of this evening."

"Don't remind me. I want to forget about it." She took her hand and pushed his hair back behind his hair. He didn't flinch, though he was a bit surprised by her touch.

"Sirius was way out of line, accusing you of all those things." She sat down in the chair beside him.

"Well, some of them were true."

"And some of them weren't, but it doesn't matter because it wasn't his place to say those things."

"I am a Death Eater or was one anyway. He nearly blew everything."

"Yes and I plan on giving him quite of an earful when he sobers up. I think he was just having a bad day. I mean the holidays do tend to remind us of our losses and he is spending the holidays without his best friend." Severus put his right hand down and looked at her.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I guess today is probably difficult for you."

"I am managing, but yes, it is a little hard. I know that it will get easier. I still grieve for James, but I have to be strong for Harry."

"Harry was definitely one of the problems tonight." Severus said, changing the subject from James.

"Harry is only 16 months old! How could any of it be his fault?"

"Your kid has taken a liking to me." He grumbled. Lily smiled.

"Well, he does see you every day, you aren't mean to him so he has no reason not to like you." Severus scoffed.

"Yes, how cute. Harry liking me more isn't making Black happy. Your kid prefers me to his godfather. It's one of the reasons he was so ticked off at me tonight."

"There is little we can do about that. I can't force him to prefer Sirius and I don't have a problem with Harry liking you. I do wonder if he'll begin to see you as more. That does worry me a bit. I hope he doesn't end up thinking you are his father." She looked over at her son, who was scribbling on a piece of paper with a crayon. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Don't even joke."

"I wasn't. Babies and toddlers, they get attached to people easily. My only concern is him growing too attached and then us leaving."

"I don't think you have to worry about Potter's kid growing too attached to Snivellus."

"Don't call yourself that stupid, childish nickname." She snapped at him. He stared at her in shock.

"Tell that to Black."

"I have, just like I told him this grudge between the two of you has to stop." Severus scoffed. "I mean it. You are both adults now and it is time you both grew up and settled your differences."

"I will never like him."

"You don't have to like him. You never have to be friends. That's not what I am saying." She huffed. "But you all were ready to curse each other and fight to the death. That has to stop. You are both in the Order, you are both on the same side, so stop the nonsense. It's well past time you both put your differences aside and moved on. The past is the past. What's done is done and it is time to move forward."

Severus sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest, grumbling to himself. "He started it."

"Oh, stop acting like a child. It doesn't matter who started it, does it? If he won't end it, then you need to end it first." Severus opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. "Without a duel and without cursing each other into oblivion, if possible."

"Oh, fine, but he needs to apologize first."

Lily sighed. "Okay, but he'll have to be the one to make that move. I can't force him to apologize. If he apologizes to you sincerely, I would recommend you apologize as well."

"Me?"

"Yes. You both have caused grievances toward one another and you both need to apologize to each other and end this nonsense already."

He thought a moment. "Fine. If he apologizes first, I will return the favor."

"That's all I ask." Lily sighed. "I'll be back in a minute." She got up and left the room and he heard her shut the bathroom door. He turned to Harry, who was still scribbling. Harry looked up at him. Severus looked away toward the clock on the wall.

"Seven o'clock, that's it? This day is never going to end." He said out loud. He took some money out of his pocket. "Three galleons, what a bonus." He said sarcastically.

"Tree." Harry said. Severus turned back to Harry, who was still watching him.

"Three." Severus corrected.

"Tree."

"Eh, forget it." He sighed. "You know kid; you need to stop growing attached to me." Harry looked at him, his head slightly cocked. "It's not a good thing. People will get suspicious, okay?"

"Okay." He clapped his hands.

"You didn't understand a word I just said, did you?" Harry shook his head. Severus let out a stiff laugh and sighed. "I have officially lost my mind. I am trying to reason with a one-year-old." The bathroom door creaked open and Lily entered the kitchen a moment later.

"Okay, kiddo, time to give you a bath and see if I can't get the rest of that pudding out of your hair." She lifted Harry from the chair. "I'll be back." She smiled at Severus.

"No hurry." She left the room with Harry and he got up from the chair. He looked around at the vase, chair and plate that were lying broken on the floor. He had been so ticked at Black that he had broken them in his temper when he got home. Severus pulled out his wand and fixed his mess. After it was clean, he pulled down his sleeve and looked at the pale mark on his left arm.

He wanted nothing more than to get rid of the mark and end it all, but at the same time, he didn't want it end. He hoped it would never end. It was a conflict within himself. He wanted the peace and sanity of being free, but at the same time he liked that he had Lily in his life again. Severus only had her in his life until the war ended. After that, they could be acquaintances, but being stuck together like this, it had changed something in him. She made him feel human, alive. He hadn't even realized just how much he really missed her company. He had been so stupid for letting his friendship end over the Death Eaters.

A loud thunk emerged from his living room and he quickly covered the mark. He heard someone clear their throat and he turned his head toward the doorway. "In the kitchen." He said, knowing full well who had shown up.

Sure enough, Dumbledore entered the kitchen. "I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine." Severus snapped.

"Well, I wanted to make sure. I apologize for everyone giving you such a rough day."

"You mean Black? The boils are almost all gone."

"He should not have done that. I will be speaking to him tomorrow, once he's sobered up and able to reason with me."

"It won't make a difference." He sighed "Lily wants us to stop the fighting."

"I agree with her. It is well past time you both put all this behind you. Some wounds do run deep, but it does no good to keep scratching at the surface. No healing can occur that way. It is vital to leave it alone and let it begin to mend."

"Most deep wounds leave scars."

"Yes, sometimes, but scars fade over time. You know, you and Sirius are a lot more alike than you think. You are both bitter about your upbringings and you both hate what the other has. In some ways, you both are jealous of one another." Severus raised an eyebrow. He was jealous of Black? Black was jealous of him? How absurd.

"I know what you are thinking and it is not absurd. He hates that you have such a strong position in this war and he knows how important your job is to all of us. He doesn't have that. You see him as everything you weren't. He was popular, wealthy, outgoing, and got away with more than he should have in school. Part of that fault lies with me, I know."

"That doesn't make us alike."

"Oh, but it does. You are both bitter about your lives. You were both mistreated and neglected by your parents, the very people who should have loved and cared for you unconditionally. Once Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, he became a traitor to his family and they did not wish to care for him any longer. He was treated unkind and was all but neglected by them. He ran away from home at 16. You did the same thing right after you graduated. You ran away from home. Neither of you wanted to look back, but both of you ended up right back in the very places that made your life a living hell. The one difference was that Sirius had someone to turn to: James Potter. James had loving, doting parents who cared about him and loved him unconditionally. They gave their only son everything he ever wanted. They welcomed Sirius into their home and took care of him as if he was another son. You did not have anyone to turn to when things got bad at your house." Severus didn't like hearing that he and Black had anything in common besides both being wizards. They were polar opposites.

"James was Sirius's refuge. Yours sadly became the Death Eaters. I know you hated James for many of the same reasons you hated Sirius. He had everything you didn't and you hated him for it. He wasn't kind to you so the feeling of hatred was mutual. I do think he was a bit jealous of you as well, but that's not important right now. He had a happy childhood, loving parents, many friends and admirers, athletic skills, the ability to openly admit his feelings to the girl he loved, a happy ending in a way."

"Are you trying to point out all my faults or are you trying to make some sort of asinine point?" Severus asked bitterly.

"Your mother married one of the worst kinds of muggles and she allowed herself to become hollow inside from the abuse. They were so consumed by their own problems; they neglected you, their only child. Both of your lives have been dramatically altered by the same things, but you chose different methods of escape and different paths at first. Now your paths have crossed again. You both are going in the same direction. Neither of you have had the chance to live a normal, happy childhood and neither of you have been given the chance at a normal adult life and neither of you know if you ever will get that chance. You are both just fighting to stay alive and to keep the ones you care about and love alive."

Severus scoffed. "I only care about keeping my sanity and helping end this war." It was Dumbledore's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Really? There is no one you care about enough to keep alive? No one you love enough to do whatever it takes to keep them alive?" Severus swallowed. He knew Dumbledore meant Lily.

"I want to keep her alive, yes."

"Keep _her_ alive?" Severus huffed. He really hated it when Dumbledore pretended to play dumb.

"Yes, her. We were friends and I don't want to see her killed by anyone, let alone a Death Eater."

"Just friends?"

"Don't tell me you believe Black?"

"Severus, I may be old, but I am far from naïve." Severus had no idea where Dumbledore was going with this. He wondered if Dumbledore had some sort of mission he wanted Severus to do and if he was trying to remind Severus of the reason he had turned to Dumbledore in the first place. "I know you really care about her. I believe you told me two years ago that you would do anything to keep Lily safe."

"What do you want me to do?" He said, unenthusiastically.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Nothing, my boy. I just wanted to speak with you. There is nothing up my sleeve."

"Then where is this going?"

"Nowhere in particular. I am just a curious person." Severus refused to believe this conversation had no purpose. Dumbledore always a purpose in his talks. "I trust you completely and I know that Lily and Harry are safe here."

"I won't harm them."

"I know that. What I want to know is the truth?" Severus raised an eyebrow again. "Do you like Lily?"

"Well, she's a nice person. I have no reason not to like her." Severus knew he was skirting the issue.

"Yes, she is kind person, but that's not what I meant. Do you, perhaps, have a crush on her?"

"What?"

"I always suspected you did, but I want to know if you like her as more than a friend. Do you have feelings for her beyond friendship?" Severus wasn't sure how to answer the man. "It won't change the arrangement, but I'd like to know." Severus tried to look baffled. "It makes sense as to why you are so keen on protecting her."

"Well, she's a good friend. I like her as a friend. Why would I want any harm to come to a friend?" He could feel himself faltering as he evaded the issue. He was making himself vulnerable. He was more controlled than this. He needed to get it together. Where were his occlumency shields? Dumbledore smiled at him in a way that Severus didn't like. It was obvious that Dumbledore saw right through him.

"Are you, perhaps, falling in love with Lily, Severus?" Severus swallowed hard. He was not one to openly admit how he felt about anything and he certainly wasn't ready to admit to anyone his feelings for Lily. Severus turned away and looked at his clock again. It was seven-thirty. Just then, they heard Lily coming down the stairs.

"I guess I'll take that a yes, Severus." Severus could feel the heat rising in his face. He hoped he wasn't blushing. Lily entered the room.

"How is everything, Lily?" Dumbledore asked, giving Severus a moment to compose himself in her presence.

"Fine. Harry's asleep. It must have been a long day for him. He was out like a light within minutes."

"Well, we all had a rough evening."

"Yes. Did Severus tell you Harry did his first bit of accidental magic on Sirius? He gave Sirius red hair." She grinned. Severus's lip curled. Dumbledore looked happy.

"Really? Harry was the one who did that to him? Why did he do that?"

"Ask Severus. I missed it happening." Dumbledore turned to Severus.

"Yes. Sirius wanted him away from me when he saw Harry clinging to me. Apparently Harry wasn't having any of it and got pissed off at Black, causing his magic to kick in. Quite frankly, I am beginning to wonder if he isn't charmed to look like Potter and he really belongs to someone else." Lily looked at him in shock.

"No, and I don't take kindly to being thought of as a tramp."

"You know that's not what I meant. I'd never think of you that way. It was only a joke." Severus caught a glimpse of a gleam in Dumbledore's eye. "Sorry."

"Forget it. I'm just happy that Harry is a wizard. This means Harry will be able to go to Hogwarts after all." She was beaming.

"Of course he will and Severus here might be lucky enough to teach him." Dumbledore said. Lily looked confused.

"What?"

"Oh, didn't Severus tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I guess not. I'll let Severus field this one."

Lily turned to Severus. "Well, um, I applied for a position as a professor at Hogwarts last year, but didn't get the job. I wanted the Defense against the Dark Arts position, but Professor Dumbledore says it is cursed and he doesn't want me to take the job." Dumbledore gave a nod. "Anyway, Professor Slughorn was supposed to retire last year, but he decided to stay a bit longer. He is set to retire this summer and Professor Dumbledore wants me take his position in the fall."

She looked shocked, but was smiling. "Really? You are going to be a professor at Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, well, I don't have much choice. The apothecary isn't exactly the best place to work, though it pays enough. Not much, but enough to live by. The professor position doesn't pay much more really, but the hours are better and the security is more stable. The apothecary isn't exactly safe. It keeps getting broken into often, so I really need a new job. Besides, the current owner doesn't like my position with the Dark Lord. He thinks I'm not on his side."

"But you aren't on his side."

"You know that and I know that, but the Dark Lord doesn't. I can't have Death Eaters believing I'm not on his side." Lily cringed at his use of the name the Dark Lord. Severus noticed. "You-Know-Who wanted me to apply last year, so the other Death Eaters will believe I am doing his bidding.

"So you are going to be the new potions professor?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I guess, if Slughorn retires."

"Well, that's great. Potions were your best subject."

"It's a job and it is a much safer environment to work in."

"Yes, Hogwarts is protected. I think you will be a great Potions professor. Well, I'll be going. I will check in again in a few weeks, but I'm always available if you need me." Dumbledore turned to Severus. "And Severus,"

"Yes?"

"Go easy. Give it time. Things may work in your favor. Good things come to those who wait." He winked and turned to leave the room.

"Sir?" Dumbledore turned back to Severus. "I'd rather you not mention this to anyone else." Dumbledore smiled and gave a nod. He disappeared into the living room. A moment later, they heard a pop and a rush of flames.

"What was he talking about?" Lily asked Severus. "Has he given you an assignment?"

"Not exactly." Severus knew what Dumbledore was talking about. He had blown it. Dumbledore knew about his feelings for Lily. He hoped Dumbledore would keep that knowledge to himself.

Lily was looking at Severus. He seemed nervous and she could tell he was trembling a little.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Severus jerked his mind away from his thoughts.

"No, why?"

"You aren't acting like yourself. You seem tense." She put her hand on his trembling one. His throat suddenly felt dry and he choked. He wasn't composing himself well. The squabble with Black had thrown him off. He was certain that had to be the problem. He needed to get a hold of himself. He reluctantly pulled his hand away.

"I, um, I'm going to go work on some of the potions I need to do, you know, for work, because I have to work tomorrow." He arose from his chair and left for his lab off the kitchen. She watched him leave, completely puzzled by his behavior. She shook her head. She would never understand men.

_**A/N:** I miscalculated the year Severus started to work at Hogwarts, so I am having him start a year later then in the canon. My bad. I edited this and read over it more than once so I hope I caught all my errors and I hope this wasn't difficult to read. Feel free to PM me with any typos/errors if I missed something. I will correct them. Thanks for reading! _


	17. Chapter 17: Trouble Lurks Ahead

_Thanks to **Blueowl, Elfsquire90, HughSoSexy, TitanNegro, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, OnyxEmerald, Nanettez, Narutonarutolove, Piscesgirl35, Shinywhiteboards, Kinole009x **and **Ujemaima** for the reviews. _

_Nanettez: I considered Lily's smacking of Sirius as more playful than mean, so I'm not sure what the issue is. She's not being abusive or anything. Lots of people would do similar things, but never to be mean or spiteful. As for Sirius: yes, he was being an arse, but that was mostly because he was intoxicated and people almost never behave like themselves when drunk. Some people get really mean and that was my intention: that he wasn't thinking right and wasn't behaving as typical, but he never liked Severus so I don't think it ooc that they would behave terrible toward the other at all. They were ready to kill each other in canon._

_Also, Sirius has never been in prison and Severus is not yet a teacher. I am not denying Snape was a terrible teacher in the canon or that he held petty grudges. In this time they are both very young and not far out of school. Both of them are still bitter toward one another, but their close proximity will help them to eventually move past their grudges: Something they did not have the chance to do in the canon._

_I do agree that their world is so small and isolated that it likely creates a lot of tension. When you add the war and sides, it is a mess for everyone. Sirius won't stay such an arse, I promise. He's got a lot on his plate right now, but he'll get worse at points, but eventually better as the fanfic goes along and so will Severus. Whew! I hope that answered your questions and concerns. _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 17: Trouble Lurks Ahead**

_Early February 1982_

"I knew we shouldn't have gone out yesterday. Now he's sick." Lily said as Harry coughed. Severus sighed.

"He just coughed."

"He feels a little warm." She looked nervous. "Maybe I should take him to the emergency room at St. Mungo's."

"Oh, come on, he's not that sick. Maybe he has a bit of a cold or something. He's fine."

"Feel his forehead. He's burning up." Severus sighed again, got up and touched Harry's forehead. "See?"

"He feels a little warm, but I don't think it is that serious. I wouldn't worry." Harry coughed again a couple times.

"What if it is? What if he caught something serious? What if it is the pox or something?"

"I don't think so. He doesn't appear to have any spots." Severus huffed at her anxiety. "Would it make you feel better if I ran a diagnostic on him?"

"Oh, right. I forget about the spell. I'll do it." Lily felt around for her wand. "Where's my wand?"

"On the table. You just set it there a minute ago."

"Oh, right." It surprised him how nervous she seemed about her kid being sick. She was always so composed, yet she was ready to fall apart over a cough and a slight fever. She grabbed her wand and did the spell. "He is congested a little, but he does have a fever of 37.7 degrees Celsius. It says he has a cold."

"Well, that's not anything to worry about and that fever is very slight. He'll be okay."

"I know, you're right. I'm just, it's, I don't know." She sighed. "I'm being paranoid, I know, you don't need to tell me."

"I didn't say you were paranoid."

"But you were thinking it." He smirked.

"You do seem a bit nervous."

"I guess I just worry something will happen to him. I just, if I lost him, I don't know, I couldn't, I couldn't bear it." She sat down on the couch, putting Harry on her lap. "He's all I've got really. He's the last bit of family I have." Harry coughed again, his coughs growing hoarse.

"A cold won't kill him. Just give him some cough potion and he'll be better in a few days."

Lily sighed. "No, but he needs rest to get better. Maybe I should put him to bed for the night."

"It's only four-thirty. He just got up from his nap an hour ago. I doubt he'll sleep."

"Oh. It feels much later." She sighed. "Maybe I should make dinner."

"How about I order take away at one of those muggle food places and not worry about it?" She smiled.

"Okay."

"There's a fish and chips shop up the road or I can go to one of those sandwich shops?"

"I think I'd like a sandwich."

"Are you hungry now or do you want me to wait?"

"A little bit, but I'm not starved."

"Me either, but I may as well go get the food before it gets too busy." Severus got up and headed to the door. "What kind of sandwich would you like?"

"Ham is fine." He nodded and went out into the cold February air. Darkness was approaching and the bare trees swayed and creaked in the wind. He felt a shiver go up his spine as he walked up the road into town. He normally would just apparate, but he lived in a muggle town and it was only a couple blocks.

When he arrived in town, he noticed that there weren't many people around. It seemed quiet, perhaps a little too quiet for his liking and he felt a bit uneasy. Severus saw that part of the area was blocked off and that there were police cars up ahead. He figured some teen thugs had caused trouble or there was a robbery. Robberies weren't unusual in the area. He arrived at the sandwich shop and noticed that it was empty. He looked back at the sign. It was open.

"Anyone here?" He asked. A man shot up from behind the counter.

"Please, don't hurt us." Severus raised an eyebrow. "If you want the money, just take it and go."

"What? I don't want to rob you. I just wanted a couple sandwiches."

"Oh. Okay." The man looked around Severus suspiciously. "What would you like?"

"Two ham sandwiches." The man made the sandwiches quickly, still trembling and handed Severus the food. Severus handed him some money. A car engine roared and let out a loud pop. The man jumped like a ball out of a canon. "They're back!"

Severus was baffled by the muggle's behavior. "Who's back?"

"Those strange people, evil was in their eyes I tell ya, the devil was in them. They wore masks and robes. There were explosions, people out there demanding information and wanting something called muggles. I saw them, they were hurting people, I think they killed some of `em." Severus swallowed hard. He knew it had to be Death Eaters. What were the Death Eaters doing here in Cokeworth? He had to find out where they were headed.

"Where did they go?"

"I don't know. On up town, I think."

"Dammit!" Severus yelled. The man looked shocked. "Who were they looking for?"

"I couldn't really hear them. I think it was a flower name, but I don't remember. I just saw them kill those people. The police showed up after they left, didn't catch `em." Severus felt panicked.

"Lily?" Severus swallowed, hoping that would be the wrong guess.

"Yeah, that was it." Fear washed over him. They were after Lily, but how did they find her? Did they know she was here or was it just a guess? It was then he remembered she was home alone. If they saw her in his home, they would all be dead. Severus bolted out of the door and up the street.

When he rounded the corner toward the subdivisions, he saw them. Three of the Death Eaters were coming his way. He pretended not to see them and walked on. He hoped beyond hope they wouldn't recognize him. He didn't want to be roped into the hunt for Lily and Harry. He needed to get home and see to it that Lily was okay: Harry too for that matter.

"Snape?" It clearly wasn't Severus's lucky day. He slowly turned toward the voice. Mulciber pulled off his mask. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Did you come to join us?"

"Join you?" Severus asked.

"Yes, we are looking for Potter." Avery said and gave Severus a confused look. "If you aren't helping us then why are you in this god-forsaken muggle town?"

"I was going home." Mulciber looked at him strangely. "I live a few miles from here. I came into town for food."

"You shopped at a muggle food place?"

"Yeah, well, I was tired of cooking. Food is food."

"Where are your house-elves?"

"He doesn't have house-elves. He is a half-blood, remember?" Severus knew that voice. It was Bellatrix Lestrange, one of his least favorite people. "His father was a muggle." Severus sneered.

"So, you want to join us? We found out that the mudblood grew up here, figured she might be back here with her muggle parents." Avery smirked. "And scare a few of the stupid, filthy muggles while we are at it."

"Her parents are dead."

"How do you know that?"

"Shut it, Avery, you know he was once friends with the mudblood. Anyway, we figured she might be living here in this pathetic muggle village hiding out." Severus didn't say anything.

"Have you spoken to your old friend lately?" Avery asked him.

"We haven't spoken since fifth year."

"So you don't know where she is hiding?"

"No idea. She probably left the country. It's what people in hiding tend to do."

"We are still going to look here first. Which way did she live?" Severus sighed and pointed up the road at the row houses.

"She grew up in one of those houses, but I doubt she would be there. Some other muggle family probably lives there now." Severus rubbed his forehead. "Look, I am tired and feeling a bit under the weather." He lied. "So I think I'll skip the witch-hunt tonight and go on home." He joked, however none of them seemed to get it.

"Okay, but you are missing out." They headed toward the row houses and he headed the other direction.

He entered the house and shut the door, locking it back.

"Lily?" He asked, slightly concerned about her well-being, though he knew she was fine.

"In here." He entered the living room. She was sitting by the fireplace in the old wicker rocking chair, gently rocking Harry. He shut the curtains. "What's the matter?"

"I met up with Avery, Mulciber and Bellatrix in town. They are looking for you and Harry." Lily felt a wave of panic hit her and she clutched Harry tighter to her chest.

"They don't know I'm here, do they?"

"No, they went the other direction, to where you grew up. They only know you grew up in Cokeworth. They don't know the exact house and they don't know where I live. I said it was a few kilometers away. They believed me." Lily got up.

"I have to get out of here." She said, suddenly. "We have to go. I can't risk it." She felt frightened, her nerves getting the better of her. She needed to get away from here. "I'll leave the country. It's not safe, if they find out you are here and what you have done. You betrayed them, you've lied to them and they will kill you if they ever knew you hid us. I can't risk it anymore. It's not safe for anyone." Severus put his hand on her shoulder.

"Lily, breathe. You are safe here. There are charms on the house. There are extra protections on this place. They can't touch you unless they find out where you are and they don't have the slightest idea. The Malfoys are the only ones who know where I live. You-Know-Who doesn't even know. I highly doubt they'll even come this way and they'll only see a muggle house if they do. They have no reason to suspect you are hiding in this house."

"It's not the fidelius and we aren't unplottable. What if they put a tracing charm on you or something? I can't trust them." She headed for the door. He couldn't let her leave. It was too dangerous. He grabbed her arm to stop her. Lily turned back, startled.

"Then trust me." He let go. She looked at his face, trying to read his expression. She could not tell if it was concern or something else. He almost looked terrified.

"I just don't know if this is such a good idea. I've appreciated everything you have done for us, but I can't put you in danger any longer."

"Everyone is in danger, Lily. We are in a war. I can't let you go out there when they are looking for a fight. They could be up the road for all you know. Please, just trust me. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. I swear on my magic I'll protect you." Her jaw dropped.

"What about Harry?"

"Yes, of course, I promise. I won't let anything happen to either one of you." At that moment, there was loud bang in the distance. Lily and Severus both jumped. They both ran for the window and peered out. At the end of the road, they could see four masked figures and several colorful sparks. Severus closed the curtains again.

"Oh, god. I thought you said they wouldn't come here."

"I didn't think they would. I think they are just messing around." Lily raised an eyebrow. "In a malevolent way, that is." Lily looked petrified. Harry started to whimper, sensing the anxiety among the adults.

"What are we going to do? What if they come this way? What if we aren't so lucky and they find us by mistake?" Severus took out his wand and gathered up Harry's toys that were scattered across the living room. He put them away and flicked off the lights. The screams grew louder and the bangs sounded closer. Severus took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

"Come on. We'll make it look like no one is here." She followed him to the kitchen.

"Mama." Harry said, clearly growing frightened by the tension. Lily held him closer. They could hear the voices growing louder.

"It sounds like there are several of them. Could all of the Death Eaters be coming this way?"

"No, I don't think so. My mark didn't burn, so this wasn't the Dark Lord's idea." He whispered.

"Are we safe? I mean, what if they find a way to break the charms in place. If they realize magic is on this house, they'll know wizards live here. They might guess I am hiding here if they already think I am in Cokeworth."

He shook his head. "No, most of them aren't intelligent enough to figure it out nor are they powerful enough to break the charms in place. I honestly doubt they are even looking for you anymore." Lily looked disgusted as more screams emerged from outside. This time it sounded as if they were coming from the home next door.

"Oh, god. This is so sick. I don't even want to know what they are doing to those poor people."

"Come on." He opened his lab door and gestured her inside. "It's a secure room. I already have extra charms in place to keep your kid out. She hesitated for a moment, but only a moment before going inside the lab. Harry started to go into a coughing fit. Lily rubbed his back. Severus closed the door.

"Lumos." He said and light emerged from his wand. Lily followed suit. "Salvus Securus." He waved his wand over the door, adding one more charm to keep the Death Eaters out.

"There are some candles over there by the cabinet. I'll look for the cough potion for your kid." Lily lit some candles and sat down on an old wooden chair with Harry. She used a handkerchief to wipe his runny nose. Severus found the potion and a clean dropper and handed it to Lily, who tried to squirt the liquid down Harry's throat. He kept turning his head, not wanting to take the medicine, making it difficult.

"I know it doesn't taste good, but it'll make you feel better." She said, trying to soothe him. A huge bang erupted from outside. Lily gasped. The house was silent. Harry squirmed in Lily's arms.

"Down." He fussed. She set him down. Barely audible voices were heard outside of the home. Severus pressed his ear against the door.

"Can you hear them? What are they saying?"

"They don't think anyone is home, but they are going to look for the filthy muggles anyway, in case they are hiding." Lily cringed and Severus backed away from the door. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife as they both waited with bated breath to see what was going to happen.

Lily grabbed Severus's hand in a panic. He was startled by the touch, but didn't try to remove his hand from her grasp. He doubted she even realized she was squeezing his hand with a death grip. He had to admit, if only to himself, that the situation was nerve-wracking. He wasn't really afraid for himself. He wasn't afraid to die. He didn't want to die, but he wasn't afraid of death. Severus was worried for Lily. He didn't want to see anything happen to her and he knew that if they caught her, they would kill her. She had defied the Dark Lord once again and he would not let anything stand in his way of getting to Harry this time. There was no way that Lily would stand idly by and let them happen. He knew Lily would die before she'd let the Dark Lord lay a finger on her son.

He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze back. "If they somehow get past the charms, I want you to apparate to the Hogwarts grounds." She nodded and looked at him, realizing she was holding his hand rather firmly. Lily eased her grip, but did not let go. "You have to trust me. I'll get you both out of here." She gave him a smile.

"I trust you, no matter what happens." She said as someone attempted to break the muggle locks on the front door and turn the doorknob.

_A/N: I hope I caught all my errors. As always, feel free to PM if I made an error somewhere. I plan on doing at least one more update this week. I can't leave a cliffhanger dangling, that would just be cruel. _


	18. 18: Destruction on Spinner's End

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **The Wilde Rose, HughSoSexy, Brbcool8, Elfsquire90, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Singingequestrian89, Imaginary-pim, Blueowl, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx,Darkprince31, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, Shinywhiteboards,MarissaRosee, TwiChild369, Jordina, Hello-nurse2005, Ujemaima, MagicalNinjaUnicorn **and **Mrs. SRE Snape** for their lovely reviews on the chapter. _

_Yesterday was one hell of a day. I got to experience the aftershocks of an earthquake and now have an interesting story to tell. With that said I have no desire to experience one again, thank you very much. It scared me half to death. I had no idea what was happening. I thought one of the plants had exploded nearby (that happened a couple years ago) or a bomb went off somewhere close by or a plane was going to crash into the place. The violent shaking did not register as an earthquake at first and when I began to wonder if that was what I was feeling, I brushed it off as silly because we just don't get them here. Turns out it was indeed the aftershocks of one. Doesn't get much crazier than that. _

_Cokeworth is the fictional town where Severus and Lily grew up. I think she took the name from the town in the novel Hard Times by Charles Dickens. _

_The ums: The only person he was not so confident around was Lily and that was on purpose. The "I guess" wasn't really unconfident; it was just to state that he had not completely snagged a job. Slughorn hadn't officially retired and he'd only get the job once he did. People say "I guess" or "I reckon" where I am from as normal speech and it has little to do with confidence. This could be regional, so I apologize if it comes off poorly. It usually means yes depending on both verbal and non-verbal gestures and the tone. _

**Chapter 18: Destruction on Spinner's End**

The attempts to get inside weren't working which meant the charms on the house were still holding to both Severus and Lily's relief. Severus hoped they would not realize that simple charms were on the house. It would not be hard to break a few of them, but a couple of the charms Dumbledore had put in place would take skill to shatter. Only a couple of the Death Eaters would have the expertise to do so. He hoped Lucius Malfoy wouldn't be among them. Lucius would know whose home this was and he would be familiar with the charms and would have the skill to break those in place. Severus knew he was in serious trouble if the Malfoys were involved.

Whoever was trying to break in had stopped. Lily let go of Severus's hand and got up from the chair.

"Do you think they will leave us alone now?" Before Severus could answer, they heard a loud bang.

"Nope, I think they just tried to blast the door off its hinges. Maybe I should take off some of the charms before they recognize that magic is preventing them from getting inside."

"What, no, are you crazy?"

"If they come inside, they'll look around and see that no one is here and hopefully leave."

"What if they go upstairs and see where Harry and I are staying?"

"They will only see a bed and a crib. They will think a family lives here, but no one is home."

"And what if they somehow inform Lucius Malfoy? He knows this house belongs to you and if someone let it slip about this location and that a family lived here, what then?"

"I don't think they will remember which house was which."

"But the Malfoys know you live here and they will know the area was attacked and he may wonder about you. I don't trust him not to give away your position.

"Don't worry. I doubt we are the only ones not home. Look, Lily, I have to do something before they get suspicious about why they can't get inside despite breaking all the locks. We can only hope they'll take a quick look and move on once they see no one is in here." Severus left the room and stood behind the doorway to the kitchen with his wand out. He whispered the counter spells to the charms and one by one they lifted. Severus completed the last counter as they started to get curious about why they could not get inside the muggle home and were contemplating magic. He reentered the lab and turned to her as a crash occurred. The Death Eaters had entered the house. Lily felt panicked.

"Muffliato." Severus said and turned to her. "Lily, I want you to go on to Hogwarts. Go!"

"And you?"

"I'm fine, just go. If they see you and Harry, they will summon the Dar-You-Know-Who and they will kill all of us. I can convince them I used the sound blocking charm or something." Lily grabbed his arm and turned him toward her. He was quite surprised at her actions.

"Like hell you are staying here! All it would take is for them to look upstairs or see that toy box in the corner of the living room and they would know you are hiding something or someone! They would automatically assume it was us and they would interrogate you! I don't doubt for one second they would hesitate to call You-Know-Who and he will kill you on the spot for disobedience!" They heard something smash and a couple voices. The Death Eaters were in the kitchen.

"Lily go, hurry before they try to come in the room."

"Don't try and play the hero! You are useless dead!" Lily had grabbed Harry, who looked confused and then grabbed Severus's arm tightly. Before he could respond, he found himself tunneling and they ended up outside the Hogwarts gates.

"Why did you do that?" He asked a bit aggravated that she had not listened to him.

"Do what? Save your life? I'm sorry." She said rather cold.

"Fine, you win. We are all safe. Happy?"

"Yes, actually I am." Severus wanted to be mad at her for not letting him handle this himself, but he couldn't be mad. Lily had just saved him in a way and he bit back a smirk thinking about the fact that she cared enough to do so.

"I still don't see why you bothered? I told you to go and leave me there."

"Oh, come on, Sev. You didn't honestly believe I was going to just obey you and leave you there now, did you? I thought you knew me better than that. We're friends and I wasn't about to let them harm you if I could help it."

"Don't get sappy." He said with a small smile.

"Me sappy? What about you trying to be Mr. Hero and save the woman and child?"

"You and the kid were the ones in danger, Lily, not me."

"You were in danger as well and don't pretend otherwise."

"You want me to say thank you?"

"Yes."

"Then thanks. We are safe. End of story." She smiled. "Now, what do we do? We can't get inside the castle and I doubt Dumbledore has any idea we are here."

"I guess we'll have to wait or walk around for awhile." Her stomach growled.

"I should have brought our food with us." He said. "Oh, well, it's sitting in that old fridge with cooling charms on it. We can eat it when we get back." Lily set Harry down.

"I don't have a problem waiting, but Harry is sick and it is freezing. He's my concern."

"Well, no one is around. I figure they all must be at dinner. Put a warming charm on him. I think we are going to be stuck here awhile." Lily sighed and put a warming charm on Harry so he wouldn't feel the biting cold. They walked around the area, hoping someone would approach.

"Do you remember the time we snuck into the forbidden forest during second year just to see what was in there?"

He smiled. "Yes, and we didn't get very far because you freaked out."

"Oh, please, that was you."

"No, it wasn't. I distinctly recall you telling me you wanted to go back."

"Well, I recall you telling me we had gone far enough and we needed to get back."

"That's because you were getting scared."

"You were just as freaked out as I was by the creatures there." Severus looked up at the castle.

"We were only 12. Imagine being worried about silly shadows. We had no idea of all the truly horrifying things that lay ahead of us, did we?"

"No." She sighed sadly. "Sometimes I miss those days. Everything was so much easier then. I often wonder what happened to them."

"Life did. We grew up in a world set to go to war."

"Yes." Lily looked over at Harry, who was pushing snow off the bushes nearby.

"Whatcha doin' out here?" A voice bellowed out. They both turned.

"Hagrid? Oh, thank god. Listen, we have to speak with Dumbledore. The Death Eaters are attacking a muggle town."

"Attacking muggles?" Hagrid asked and opened the gate. "How do I know it's really Lily Potter?"

Lily thought a second. "Remember in fourth year, you got bite by that water moccasin someone traded you illegally? He said it was a baby Leviathan. It took forever to find you a cure because it wasn't a magical snake at all, though it was still plenty deadly and quite aggressive. Severus and I brewed you the anti-venom potion." Hagrid thought a moment and sighed.

"Oh, alright, come in." Lily grabbed Harry and the three of them followed Hagrid into the castle and up to Dumbledore's office.

"Hagrid, what brings you here this evening?" Dumbledore asked.

"I found Lily Potter and some man by the gates. Says they has to speak to ya."

"Tell them to come in." Dumbledore said. Severus and Lily entered the room.

"Death Eaters are in Cokeworth." Lily blurted out. "They attacked Severus's home. They were looking for me, but were attacking the whole town in the process."

"Did they know you were there?"

"No, they wanted to attack the muggles that lived there."

"I'll send out a call for the Order."

"It may be too late. They may have already destroyed the whole town. I think they may have killed some of them."

"Well, I'll send a few people anyway. Maybe they can round up a few Death Eaters." Severus and Lily waited while Dumbledore called for several Order members to assemble on Cokeworth.

Lily's stomach growled again. "Did you all have any supper?"

"No, we had to hurry out." Severus answered. Dumbledore summoned a couple house-elves and they were given some food. After they had some nourishment, Dumbledore began to ask questions.

"When did you realize they were in your town?"

Severus cleared his throat. "I had gone into town for food and found out they had been there from the shop owner. He didn't know they were Death Eaters, but he heard them say they wanted Lily and muggles."

"Did you see any Death Eaters in person?"

"Yes, and they recognized me. I said I was feeling unwell and wanted to go on home. I thought it was just the three of them, but I was wrong."

"I'm guessing it wasn't planned out. Were all the Death Eaters involved?"

"I don't think so. My mark never burned."

"So this wasn't Voldemort's idea?"

"No, I think a few of them wanted to try and find Harry. They probably hoped to be rewarded by the Dark Lord."

"Do you know how many there were?"

"No, but we saw four in Spinner's End." Severus said. "I don't know if someone else joined the fight or if there more of them involved."

"Did they see either one of you?"

"No." Lily stated. "We hid in the lab at first, but then they tried to break into the house. Severus countered all the charms in place."

"So they wouldn't recognize the magic in place, good thinking." Dumbledore said.

"He wanted Harry and me to come here and leave him there. I wouldn't allow it."

"Good. The place is still a secret then."

"If the place is still there, they may have destroyed it." Before Dumbledore could answer, someone burst into the room.

"Sturgis?"

"We got `em! Three Death Eaters: Avery, Rodolphus Lestrange and Nott. They were captured. The others escaped, but we got three of `em." He said, breathing hard.

"That is great news. How's the town?" Podmore's face fell.

"Not good. Several muggles have been injured or killed. There are fires and pipes bursting. The muggle people, po-polist and those people who get rid of fires with tubes that squirt water were there."

"The police and firefighters." Lily said. Sturgis nodded.

"They think it was some kind of terrorism or somethin' like that."

"So they are gone. Does that mean we can back?"

"Yes, it should be safe now."

"Thank you, Professor, for the food." Lily said. Severus nodded in agreement as they got up. They were both eager to see the place and yet dreaded what they might find.

Severus and Lily apparated to Cokeworth. Dumbledore came with them. They walked down Spinner's End toward the house and saw complete destruction. Every house had been damaged in some way. Lily looked up and saw the Dark Mark in the sky. She turned away, shaking her head in disgust. Some of the houses had fires that were still ravaging. Members of the Order were there helping stop the magic the damages occurred from. People were yelling and crying as they searched for their friends and family. It was a horrible sight.

When they arrived at the home, they gasped. The entire upper level had been blown up. "Do you think?" Lily swallowed, trying to ease her nerves. "Do you think they know who lived here?"

"No." Severus said. I think they tried to blow up the house intending to kill any muggles who were inside." Severus kicked through the rubble. What was left of the first level of the home creaked unsteadily. He pushed the tattered bits of the crib aside. Hardly anything was left. It appeared they must have aimed the curse directly above the room. He found bits of the toys and items here and there. Lily began to sort through the house with him.

She saw something brown in a corner and pushed some of the debris aside. She picked it up and laughed in surprise. "Severus?"

"What?"

"I found that bear you gave him. It was untouched, believe it or not."

Lily gave it to Harry, who was crying. He took it and clutched it tightly. He stopped whimpering. Severus and Lily managed to salvage a few things. Severus's lab stood untouched thanks to the charms in place.

"I think this place is beyond repair. It would be better to demolish it and start over." Severus said with a sigh.

"Well, you will need a place to stay until the fall. Harry and I can just move away, go into hiding."

"No, we are going to move you three into a new place. It will be in another muggle neighborhood. Tonight, however, you all can stay at the castle. There will be no need to move out of the country. You all just had some bad luck tonight." Dumbledore took his wand and banished the remains of the room Lily and Harry been in. "If the Malfoys or others come by here, they will not know you have been hiding-"

Severus suddenly grabbed his arm as it burned. He hissed out loud. Dumbledore stopped talking and turned to him. Severus summoned his robes that were in the untouched lab. "I have to go."

Lily looked petrified. "Now? What if they know?"

"I can handle it, Lily." He turned on his heel and disappeared. Lily turned to Dumbledore nervously.

"I hope they don't know. They will kill him and go on the hunt for us."

"I don't think they know. Severus can handle it. Let's go back to the castle for the night." Lily nodded and they apparated back to Hogwarts. Dumbledore transfigured three chairs in his office and turned one into a crib for Harry and the other two into cots for Lily and Severus.

"I'm afraid I don't have time to make up a room for you and Harry or Severus when he returns and he will return." He said the last words to ease Lily's worry. "Hagrid is on the lookout to let him inside the castle grounds when he returns." Lily sat in the other chair, gently rocking Harry to sleep.

"It's fine. Thank you." She sighed. "What about tomorrow?"

"We are looking for a place for you three to stay."

"Maybe it would be best to just not bother Severus anymore. Let him live in peace, free of us."

"I prefer you all stay together."

"Why?"

"Because I think you all need each other right now. You need the adult company and companionship."

"I am fine on my own and so is he."

"You can survive on your own, certainly, but you wouldn't be thriving. You have handled James's passing better than I thought you would and I think that is because you have had Severus to lean on. You have someone to relate to. He's been alone in this fight and you have given him the company and friendship he needs to get through his role in the war. You all need each other despite what you think. You two wouldn't be the same without each other right now. I have been watching and you have both grown as people because you have learned from one another. You have learned the meaning of forgiveness and second chances from your renewed friendship. I think it will be best to keep you two together, to care for each other and to care for Harry right now."

"I can't stay with him forever."

"Perhaps not, but while this war is going on, you all can help each other through it. He needs you Lily. You need him. Don't let go so easily and don't be afraid to get too close. I know it scares you. His life is on the line and you fear losing someone else you care about in this fight. This war will end eventually and you don't want to regret not having cared enough to get close." Lily looked at him, slightly puzzled, but she nodded.

"It is past curfew here. All the students should be in bed. I think I am going to turn in for the night. I suggest you try and do the same." Dumbledore turned for his quarters. "Good night."

"Good Night, Professor." He disappeared. Lily laid Harry in the crib before sitting on the cot. She couldn't sleep and waited up for Severus. It was almost an hour later before he arrived. Severus collapsed in the doorway. He slowly got to his feet.

"What happened? How did it go?"

"It was fine. He was mad because no one found you or Harry and at me for not joining the fight. They claimed to have killed several muggles. They said it was 100s, but I doubt it was that many." Severus pulled out a vile and drank a potion he had in his robes to counter the effects of the crucio. He lied down on the other cot. "He wants to up the ante and is looking again at villages that are known to have both wizards and muggles."

"Like Godric's Hollow?"

"Yep." Lily wasn't sure what to think or say. She knew they were in danger, but she hated being reminded how serious the situation was. It only served to rattle her nerves even more than they already were. Lily thought about what Dumbledore said and tried to think of way to get Severus out of the mess she had put him in. If she hadn't ran into him that day things would be different. He would not be in as much danger as he was right now. She knew she shouldn't shoulder the blame. He had agreed to help her and he said he didn't mind, but she figured he probably felt put out and just didn't want to say it.

She lay down on the cot and heard Fawkes sing. She smiled at the tender sound and took off her necklace, admiring the emerald stone. She could see the inclusions in the stone that told her it was a natural emerald. Lily clutched the necklace in her hand and turned to Severus, but he was already asleep. She sighed. She'd have to wait until morning to talk with him.

_A/N: Please be patient with me regarding updates here on out until mid-December. Classes come first, but I will still try to work on this whenever I feel up to it and have a few moments._ _Also, I hope all my errors are fixed and it isn't hard to follow. I think I like it, lol. _


	19. Chapter 19: Catching the Cold

_Thanks to **MarissaRosee, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Mrs. SRE Snape, Sassymagpie,TitanNegro, Gyro and Ururun, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, Singingequestrian89,Piscesgirl35**, **HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, Narutonarutolove, Shinywhiteboards, MagicalNinjaUnicorn, Jordina, Rosel, Ujemaima, **and **TykiPhon** for the reviews! _

_I don't live in DC, but I live within a reasonable distance of Richmond. Some people either really felt it or didn't feel it all. It seems anyone outside when it happened did not feel anything. Anyone inside did and those higher up felt it even stronger. I was not on ground level at the time. I've never experienced a natural disaster of any form. There wasn't any damage thankfully and no one was injured. It was very minimal, but it was enough to shake people up a little (no pun intended). _

_It has been a few days since I updated this story. Thanks for your patience. I only have a final left to complete for my online class, so I decided to reward myself with a break to write on this story. I now have two less classes than originally planned so I am going to have a bit more time on my hands than I thought I would. Things aren't so bad this week. Does it sound mean to be glad people are already dropping out so you can find a parking spot that isn't miles away? I feel a bit guilty for being glad. _

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

**Chapter 19: Catching the Cold**

"Rise and Shine." Dumbledore said, waking Severus and Lily up. Harry did not wake up, however. He was still sound sleep. Lily grumbled. She had been up half the night with Harry as it was and she wasn't quite ready to get up just yet. Severus mumbled a few incoherent words. Lily figured they probably weren't very kind. He had been woken up by Harry having coughing fits and crying half the night as well. "We have a new place for you all to stay, so we need an early start. Wizards work fast."

"Already? What did you do? Search half the night?" Severus asked. Dumbledore just smiled. "What time is it?"

"A quarter till six."

Severus groaned. "How about we start in a couple hours?"

"At least one more hour, please?" Lily pleaded, exhaustion still piercing her body.

"It appears to be a beautiful day." His voice was rather cheery and clearly annoyed Severus.

"Do you have to be so cheerful? Can't you be like a normal person and wake up grumpy?"

Dumbledore chuckled."You two are acting like you are hung over."

"I feel like it." Severus said. "Lily's kid is sick. He was up half the night."

Lily nodded in agreement. "He has a bad cold."

"Even more reason to get you all in the house and settled. I think you will like this place. It is bigger than the last house. It has four bedrooms and a garage. I figured the garage could be turned into a lab for Severus. You all can each have your own room."

Severus finally forced himself out of the bed slowly. "Where is the house located?"

"In Little Page."

"Over in Essex?" Lily asked.

"Yes. It is a nice neighborhood. Good schools or so I am told. Not that it matters unless you intend to send Harry to a muggle primary school."

"I've thought about it, but he is only 17 months old. I think we will be somewhere else by then."

"Perhaps so." Dumbledore said with a smile. "Now, get up, clean yourselves up a bit and let's start getting some furniture into your new place. We will leave in thirty minutes. Your breakfast is by my desk." Lily forced herself to get up while he body fought her to do otherwise. When Dumbledore disappeared into his quarters, Lily turned to Severus.

"Sev?" He turned to her as he grabbed a slice of toast. "Dumbledore wants us to stay together."

"I know."

"I told him it wasn't necessary. Harry and I would be fine, but he insisted." She sighed. "If you want us gone, just say so. I don't wish to bother you at all."

"You don't bother me."

"Harry kept you up half the night. I'm sorry about that." It did annoy him that Harry kept waking up coughing, but it wasn't the worst thing that had ever kept him awake.

"It's fine. He'll get better soon, I hope."

"You can take this place and we will go somewhere else if you want."

"What would I do with a four bedroom house? Especially if Slughorn does retire. The house will be empty for almost 10 months of the year. You can take the house."

"I don't need the place either if it is just Harry and I."

"Did Professor Dumbledore say why he wants us to stay together?"

"He says we need each other." Severus's eyes got wide. He nearly choked on his bite. He had a bad feeling about this. He didn't want to force her to stay if she didn't want to stay with him. He wasn't going to force Lily to like him.

"Well, if you want to go somewhere else, I understand. I know it must awkward. Living together."

"No, it's been fine, you've been great. I just don't want us to be a burden on you."

"You aren't. I promise."

She sighed. "So, you are okay with us staying awhile longer?"

_Absolutely_, he thought. "Yes, if it is okay that I stay with you as well." She gave a small smile.

"It's fine." She looked at him. "Voldemort doesn't have any idea where you used to live and no one knows you've been hiding us, do they?" Severus cringed a little at her use of the name.

"No. I wouldn't have made it back if he did." Severus said with a smile. Lily let out a sigh of relief. "Don't worry, you are still a secret." He joked a little.

"I hope so."

"We better finish getting ready." He got up and left the room. She looked over at Harry, who was still sleeping, before she followed suit.

The weather wasn't as beautiful as Dumbledore had said. The day was quite cold and the sky was gray. Lupin showed up later to help them move in the stuff. It took longer than necessary because Lily and Severus were too tired to move very fast. Lily had to stop a lot to keep Harry busy. He was still feeling ill and Lily spent half the time holding him and helping move things inside. Both were more thankful for magic than they had ever been before.

By noon, Lily was faring far worse than Severus. Her head felt heavy. She felt mucous run down to the back of her throat and coughed. Her throat was sore and her head hurt. "I don't feel so good. I think I am catching Harry's cold." She told them.

"Oh, it's probably just all the exposure to the cold air. We've spent half the day outside." Lupin insisted. Lily coughed again, trying to clear her throat. She wasn't so sure. "Come on, let's finish up and you can go take a nap. Some rest will help."

Around two they had finally succeeded in getting everything inside and Lupin and Dumbledore left them in peace. Lily had gotten worse over the afternoon and her coughs had turned hoarse. They were both completely exhausted. By four, Harry was ready for a nap again. They went upstairs and Lily put Harry in his crib in his new room. Severus and Lily both collapsed into their beds and all three of them skipped dinner and slept well into the morning.

Severus felt a lot better in the morning. No one had woken him up during the night, not even Harry, so he had a completely uninterrupted rest. He peered into Lily's room, knowing she hadn't felt well yesterday. Tissues surrounded her and she was snoring, breathing rather heavy. He shut the door. Now there were two sick people in the house. Severus opened the door to Harry's room. He was peering over the crib, coughing. Severus picked him up. He wanted to wake Lily up, but decided against it. She was sick and needed sleep. Severus attempted to change Harry. It wasn't easy and lucky for him, Harry was only wet.

Severus dressed him and took him downstairs. He gave Harry a potion for his cough before feeding him breakfast. Severus was glad it was a Sunday and he didn't have to work. He looked around the house. He hadn't paid much attention to it yesterday. He had just wanted to get everything done and go back to bed. It was actually a rather nice place. It was much larger than the house he grew up in. The living room was larger, the kitchen was larger, and everything was larger and much nicer in general. The carpet was newer and the tiles weren't old and scoffed up like his former house.

After Harry had eaten some breakfast, Severus took him into the living room to play. Harry didn't want to play with the new toys the Order members had given him, though. He grabbed a book and set it on Severus's lap. He pointed at the book and said something that made no sense to Severus. He was not accustomed to baby talk even if he had been living with the kid for almost four months. Harry climbed onto the couch with some difficulty before finally getting up. He crawled to Severus and pointed again.

"At." Severus sighed. Harry opened the book. "At. Eat." He said, pointing at the book. "Eed tis." Severus huffed. He had no clue what the kid was saying. It would be easier if the kid were older and could actually say what he wanted.

"You want me to read you the book?" Harry looked up at him and crawled onto his lap to Severus's dismay. He pushed the book into Severus's hand. "Fine." Severus opened up the little book. Harry fussed and closed the book. "You don't want me to read it?" Harry opened the book back up.

"Tis." Harry said and Severus shook his head, but began to read the baby book. He thought it was a stupidly simple book, but Harry liked it. As he finished the book, someone knocked on the door. Severus got up with Harry and went to the door. He opened it to find his least favorite person standing there.

Sirius turned to Harry. "Hi, Harry." Sirius gave him a little wave. Harry waved back. Sirius glared back at Severus.

"Bye-bye." Harry said.

"See, Black, even Harry doesn't want you here." Sirius glowered at him.

"Yes, I'm sure he knows the difference between the greetings."

"I think he knew what he was saying."

"Why do you have Harry? Where's Lily?" Sirius asked anxiously, ignoring Severus's comment.

"In bed."

"At this hour?"

"She's not feeling well." Harry coughed hoarsely. "And neither is he, so I will advise you to go home before you catch it too."

"I was supposed to check up on everyone, but I assume Remus meant Lily and Harry. I figured he was concerned about them still stuck with you.

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with Harry and Lily feeling sick, right? I should also mention that we are not being forced together. We decided it would be best to stay together for now."

Sirius mumbled some incoherent words. "Can you just let me in so I know she is okay?"

"She's fine. She's sleeping and I prefer you didn't wake her."

"I want to see for myself." Severus rolled his eyes and let Sirius in. Severus shut the door, repositioning Harry to his side. Harry laid his head on Severus's shoulder and coughed. Severus grumbled. He certainly did not want to become sick with whatever they had. He followed Sirius upstairs. Sirius looked around.

"First room on the left." Sirius looked back at Severus before going to the closed door. He peered into the room to find Lily asleep. He shut the door and came back down the steps, taking care to bump into Severus as he passed.

"Did you do something to her?"

"No, Black. She's sick with a cold." Severus tried to set Harry down. Harry started to fuss when his feet hit the floor. He reached, wanting to be picked back up.

"Dada." Harry said suddenly. Severus's eyes grew wide and so did Black's. No, they had misunderstood. No way had Harry just said that.

"What did he just call you?"

"Nothing. He just said a word. It sounded like doo doo. Maybe he went to the bathroom."

"Oh, no. No, he called you dada. He thinks you are his dad."

"Don't be stupid, Black."

"Sweet Merlin, James Potter's kid thinks you are his father. What has Lily done? She's ruined the son of James."

It was Severus's turn to get mad. "Don't talk about Lily that way, Black. She's done nothing wrong. He's not just James's kid. He's Lily's son too. You seem to be forgetting that."

"Of course you'd defend her. You are in love with her." Severus and Sirius glared daggers at each other. Harry sneezed, breaking the tension. "Bless you, Harry." Sirius took a handkerchief and wiped Harry's nose. Severus picked Harry back up.

"Careful, Black, unless you want the illness too. Not that I would care if you ended up sick."

"My immune system can handle it." Sirius wagged a finger in Severus's face. "I am warning you. If you lay a finger on Harry, harm him in any way, I'll make you pay."

"And if you try to disgrace Lily, the mother of your godson again, I will make you pay."

"Don't you think it is silly to like someone who will never like you back?"

Severus glowered at Black. "Lily and I are staying together right now and my job is to protect her and Harry the best I can. That includes protecting them from assholes like you." Sirius grumbled.

"It is my job to protect Harry as his godfather."

"What about Lily? You see my job includes both unlike yours. They are both fine, so I seem to be doing okay so far."

"They are both sick, what do you say to that?"

"Babies get sick, so what? He's not dying. He's well fed, has a clean nappy, comfortable clothing, a warm roof over his head, some nice new toys, his own bedroom and a mother who loves him to pieces. What's the problem?"

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but instead turned on his heel and headed for the door. He turned back once his hand was on the handle. "I am watching you, Snivellus. I don't care what Dumbledore says about you being reformed. I'm not so forgiving. I will tolerate this arrangement only because he asked me too, but I am not going to apologize. Not until I know you won't harm them." With that, he left the house. Severus heard a cough from upstairs. He headed back up and entered Lily's room.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Not that good, but better." Her voice was raspy and her nose was clearly stopped up. "I need something to drink." She started to get up, but he put his up his hand to stop her.

"I can get it for you. What would you like?"

"I don't know. I'm just thirsty."

"Would you like some cough potion as well?"

"Yes, that would be great."

"Would you like anything to eat yet?" She shook her head.

"Not yet. Maybe later." Severus nodded and left the room. He came back a few minutes later with the potion and a glass of water. "Thanks." She said with a hoarse voice.

He gave her the potion and she drank some of it. "Do you think you can keep an eye on Harry for awhile longer? I appreciate you taking care of him this morning. Did you change his nappy?" Severus nodded. "Did you feed him?"

"Yes, Lily. He's fine." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you give some medicine in the dropper?"

"Yes. He's doing better. His coughing has calmed a little and his nose had stopped running for now. You can go back to bed. I will keep an eye on him." She nodded and laid back down.

"Thank you." She said with a stopped up nose. He left her in alone and went back downstairs with Harry. He played with his toys and Severus tried to read the paper, but found himself roped into playing with Harry to keep him quiet.

Severus set Harry in his chair for lunch before going up to check on Lily. She was awake, but resting. "Would you like me to get you anything?"

"Yes, I think I would like something to eat."

"What would you like?"

"Maybe some toast."

"I made some soup for lunch if you want something more." She nodded.

"Okay, but I can go downstairs. I need to get up for awhile. It might make me feel better." She followed him back downstairs. After lunch, she decided to go back to bed. Lily slept most of the afternoon which meant he had to keep an eye on Harry.

Severus decided he wasn't sure if he ever wanted children because Harry was handful. He kept trying to open doors and banging them closed to Severus's annoyance, though Harry was rather fascinated by his new ability. The kid also liked to make noises at loud volumes at random times. Harry enjoyed throwing things and loved to touch everything he could get near, even things he shouldn't touch.

Harry reached for a vase that Dumbledore had given them to make the house seem homier. "Don't touch that vase." Severus said. Harry looked at him, turned around and touched the vase. Severus clinched his fists, got up and moved Harry to the couch away from the flower vase. "Stay." He snapped. Harry attempted to get off the couch. "I said, Stay!" Harry stopped and sat back on the couch calmly.

"Thank you." Severus said through gritted teeth. "Why don't you play with this toy?" He handed Harry a toy hammer and toy plastic board with nails to hit. Harry began to bang the big, plastic nails with the hammer. Severus ran his hand over his face. No, he was never having children of his own. It was official. Just as he sat down on the chair, Harry threw his hammer onto the floor.

"Harry!" He yelled, but not too loud. He didn't want to wake up Lily. "We do _not_ throw things. Pick up the hammer _now_!" Harry got off the couch and grabbed the hammer and gave it to Severus in defeat. "That's better."

"Wan bear." He said, suddenly happy.

"You want your bear?"

"Wan bear." Severus pointed to the stuffed bear on the floor.

"It's right there." Harry turned and his eyes lit up.

"Bear!" He got his bear. Severus looked at the clock. It was almost two-thirty, which meant that it was time for Harry to go down for a nap.

"It's time for your nap."

"No." Harry said. "No nap."

"Yes, I think a nap would be good." He got up and headed for the steps. "Come on, let's go upstairs." Harry headed for the stairs and fumbled up them behind Severus. Severus attempted to put Harry in his crib, but Harry put up a bit of a fight and ended up hitting him in frustration. He set Harry down in the crib. "We do _not_ hit. Now lay down."

"No nap!" Harry protested. Severus looked at Harry. He was at his breaking point with the kid.

"Lay down _now_." Severus pointed down in the crib. Harry whimpered, but sat down. Severus glared at him. Harry laid his head down. "Thank you." Severus turned to leave the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Harry try to get up. Severus turned back, snapped his fingers and pointed down. Harry laid back down. This time, he closed his eyes. Severus left the room and walked across the hall to check on Lily. She woke up when he entered.

"Severus?"

"Just checking on you, making sure you are alive." She sat up.

"I'm alive. I actually feel a little better. Where's Harry?"

"I just put him down for his nap."

"Oh. Good. Was he too much trouble? I know he can be a bit of handful at times."

"No, not too much. Nothing major anyway. Nothing I couldn't handle."

"You didn't hit him, did you?"

"No, but he did try a couple swings at me. Got my arm once."

"I know. I'm sorry. He doesn't know how to express himself well yet. I'm working on that." She got up. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs."

"You sure you feel up to it?"

"Well, I can't stay in bed all day. It's only a cold. I feel well rested and need to move around."

"Alright." He left the room so she could get dressed and peeked into Harry's room before heading downstairs. Harry was sound asleep on his stomach, clutching his bear. Severus breathed out a sigh of relief. They'd get at least one toddler-free hour.

He went downstairs and sat down on the couch with his potions book. Lily came down a few minutes later. Her cheeks were still a bit red; indicating she probably had a slight fever. Her nose was red as a cherry and she still had a harsh cough, but she didn't seem as exhausted as she was earlier.

"What are you reading?"

"One of the potions book that survived the explosion. Figured I ought to brush up on some basics if I am going to be teaching it.

"You'll be fine. You were always good at that stuff." Lily sat on the other couch. She coughed a couple times.

"Did the potion not help?"

"Yes, it helped a lot actually. I couldn't stop coughing this morning. The potion helped me get some rest without interruption for a couple hours." She summoned the newspaper and began to read. The house was silent except the humming of the heater and crackling of the fire in the fireplace. They both needed and enjoyed the quiet atmosphere. They both needed the peace after the past couple of days.

_A/N: I have upped the rating to M. No, nothing explicit or detailed will be written. I don't go there, but to be on the safe side, I moved the rating of this story higher. I hope this won't bother anyone. _

_Also, Little Page is not a real place: at least not to my knowledge, anyway. It was the name of a run-down apartment complex in the town where I grew up. I don't think it exists anymore. It had a lot of crime problems and whatnot. I wanted to change that and associate the name with something better. This neighborhood is more middle-class. _

_I hope this isn't hard to read. I edited it a couple times. Feel free to let me know if I made an error somewhere I missed. Thanks!_


	20. Chapter 20: Cold Hands, Warm Heart

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **Sassymagpie, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Irinaa3, Tess4aria, PiscesGirl35, Narutonarutolove, Very Small Prophet, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx,Imaginary-pim,Reader123, HughSoSexy, Darkprince31, OnyxEmerald, Blazen, MarissaRosee, Lexi3con28, Ujemaima, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, Shinywhiteboards, Gyoro and Ururun** and **Twichild369** for the kind reviews! Thanks to all those who have alerted this story, added it as a favorite, put me as one of their favorite authors and on their author alert as well! I still get a shock when I open my mailbox at times and see all the feedback and interest. Twenty chapters and quickly approaching 250 reviews! I hope I can continue to please my readers. _

_Very Small Prophet: I didn't feel it needed said. He didn't need to hear her apologize and he's already forgiven her for that. I considered her calling him snivellus and telling him he was dirty was her way of trying to hurt him the way he had hurt her. Almost everyone has done that at some point. I think it hurt her deeply that her friend would call her worthless and dirty, so she did the same. What Severus said to her was literally the equivalent of calling someone a racial epithet. It's a vile word. The flirting thing can be debated. _

_I got a couple questions regarding Harry and Sirius. Harry does not hate Sirius. He neither likes nor dislikes him. He is more attached to Severus, yes, because he has seen him everyday for almost 4 months. _

_The M rating is more to err on the side of caution. It may have been unnecessary, but I was afraid there might be more than minor suggestive themes later. Nothing explicit or anything will be written. I upped it now because knowing me, I'd forget ;) _

**Chapter 20: Cold Hands, Warm Heart.**

_Three weeks later (End of February)_

Severus woke up with his head feeling rather heavy. His body ached a little and he could tell he probably had a bit of fever. It was not a good way to start the day. He did not feel like getting out of bed at all. He did not want to go to work today, but it was the day for his long shift and he needed the money. The weather mimicked his feelings. The skies were grey and it was raining. It wasn't good weather for someone already sick. He coughed harshly and forced himself to get out of bed. He got dressed and went downstairs.

Lily heard him coughing. "Are you okay?" She said as he entered the kitchen.

He turned to her."I'll be fine."

She got up from the table and went into his lab. She came back, holding up a bottle. "I think you are going to need some of this."

Severus nodded and took the bottle. He poured himself some of the potion and drank it. "I think I need to brew some more. Maybe I'll try and brew some at work." His voice was rather hoarse.

"Are you sure you should even go to work today?" Lily asked.

"I'll be fine." He coughed again a few times. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"You probably shouldn't. I mean, you are brewing potions for other people."

"I have to go to work. A cough isn't a reason to stay home."

"Just a cough? I think it's something more than that."

He shrugged. "It's probably just an allergy." He fixed himself some oatmeal and sat down at the table.

Lily wiped Harry's face before getting him off the chair. "I still think you should call in sick. The weather is terrible. You will only make yourself sicker by going out." She said as she took Harry into the living room.

He headed to work a little while later despite her protests. He had little choice. Having a cough and feeling tired weren't good enough reasons to miss work.

The air was bitterly cold and he was surprised the rain hadn't turned to snow yet. He apparated to London. The weather there was much worse than it was in Little Page. The rain was half frozen. He was getting wet as he walked toward the Leaky Cauldron. He shivered and grabbed a handkerchief to wipe his runny nose. It was going to be a long day.

Severus wasn't sure how he made it to the end of his shift. He hadn't had time to make any cough potion and his illness had gotten progressively worse as the day went on. The weather was not any better when he left. The water on the ground from the rain had frozen over. This made walking difficult as the sidewalks of London were covered in ice. It appeared the roads were as well. He noticed a few minor car crashes and vehicles stuck on the ice as he walked toward the alleyway where he normally apparated.

The precipitation was a mix of freezing rain and snow and the air was raw. The rain and snow pelted him as he walked, dampening his cloak. His chest racked as he coughed. He clutched his chest in pain. He felt as if he could hardly breathe as he apparated to Essex.

It wasn't quite as cold in Little Page, but it was still far from warm. It was still raining as well. He was soaked by the time he reached the house, but the cold, wet robes felt good against his hot skin. He entered the house, coughing, ready to collapse. Lily was sitting on the floor with Harry, playing with his toys.

"Push it on."

"Put."

"Push it." Harry pushed the lid on a cup with help from Lily. "There you go."

She looked up at Severus as he entered and put her hand on her mouth. He looked much worse than when he had left.

"I told you that you should have stayed home."

"I'm fine." He said, though he felt terrible.

"You look awful." She got up and headed toward him. "Your face is blood red." She started to take off his cloak. "You are going to catch your death in these damp clothes."

He was too shocked to say anything. "Why don't you lay down on the couch and I'll get some dry clothes for you to wear."

"I can get them myself." He started to have a coughing fit. He felt cold hands against his cheeks and forehead.

"My god, you are burning up. You need to go lay down." She went upstairs without another word. He sighed and headed for the couch. He collapsed onto it. The cold pillow felt good against his hot cheek. Lily came back down a couple minutes later and handed him his pajamas. He got up, took them and headed to the bathroom without a word. He wanted to argue that he could have gotten them himself, but he knew it would be futile.

Lily was sitting on the floor with Harry when he came back in. He lied back down on the couch and listened as she read words with Harry.

"Apa." He said, pointing to the book beside them.

"Yes, that's an apple." She opened the book up and pointed to picture. "What's that?"

"Nana."

"A banana. What's that?"

"Nana."

"No. Can you say orange?"

"Nana."

"Okay, that's too big a word. What's that?"

"Apa."

"It's a peach."

"Peas."

"Peach. What is that?"

"Dog."

"A Dog. And that?"

"At."

"Cat. Good. What about that?"

"Tain."

"That's a train. What sound do trains make?

"Soo soo."

"That's right. Choo Choo. What is it doing outside?" Harry looked out the window.

"Pour ain."

"It is pouring the rain. Where are your ears?" Harry touched his nose. "That's your nose. Where are your ears?" He grabbed the top of his ears. "Yes. Those are your ears. Can you say ears?"

"Eas."

"Where's your eyes?" He thought a second and tried to touch the ducts of his eyes. "That's right. Can you say eyes?"

"Ice."

"Good job. Where's your nose?" He touched his nose. "Yes, that's your nose. Can you say nose?"

"Nose."

"Nose. Where's your toes?" Harry touched his bare toes. "Good. Where's your feet?" He grabbed his feet. "Good job. Where's your hands?" Harry held his hands up. "Can you say hands?"

"Han."

"Can you say feet?"

"Eat."

"I love you." She kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair. "Can you say I love you?"

Harry looked at her and shook his head. "No."

She smiled. "Okay. That's too many words at once."

Severus sighed inwardly. He had once imagined the two of them being in a similar scenario. It wasn't quite like he had imagined now, but it was how he had pictured their future before everything fell apart.

"Stay here, Harry. Play with the train Remus got you." She got up and left the room. Severus closed his eyes. His head was pounding. This sickness made him feel so much worse than that cold he had acquired from Harry and Lily a couple weeks prior.

Suddenly, Severus felt something soft and cold against his forehead. He opened his eyes. Lily was sitting beside him. She was running her wand over him. "I am fine, Lily. Really, this is unnecessary."

"About 40 degrees Celsius. You have a fever alright. Can't say I didn't warn you. I'm not sure what you have, but I think it's something worse than a cold. I hope you don't get pneumonia being out in the cold like that and getting yourself soaked when you are already sick." Lily took the cold, wet rag and began to rub it around his face. He was surprised at her determination to care for him.

"I'm fine, Lily."

Lily sighed. "You are just like James." He raised an eyebrow. He did not want to be compared to Potter. "He was determined to go to some event with his buddies once when he was ill. He ended up in St. Mungo's with Pneumonia. Stubborn git." She shook her head in annoyance. "At least you aren't fighting me physically."

This caught Severus's attention and he nearly panicked. "He hit you?"

"No." She laughed. He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't think he would have ever forgiven Potter for hurting her. "He just kept thrashing about, pushing me away. Said he didn't need some silly woman caring for him. He was a man and would tough it out. I'm not sure if you are just a little less stubborn or if you are just too sick to care. I have a feeling it is the latter."

He gave her a weak smile. He did not like being fussed over, but he wasn't going to complain. If it had been anybody else, he surely would have put up more of a fight.

He started to go into a coughing fit and sat up. He grabbed at his chest. Lily put her hand on his back.

"Did you make any cough potion at work?" She asked. He shook his head, still coughing. "I'll make some then."

Severus looked at her, trying to catch his breath. He nodded. She was one of the top potions students back when they were in school. She could do it.

She summoned the pillows from the other couch and set them behind Severus.

"You don't." He took a breath and coughed a couple more times. "Need to do all this."

"I think I do. You need some medicine." She got up. "Come on, Harry, let's go in the kitchen and let Severus take a nap."

"Nap."

"Yes, he is sick. He needs to take a nap. Come along."

Harry got up and followed his mother into the kitchen. Severus shut his eyes and apparently fell asleep. He felt someone gently nudging him awake a short while later and he opened his eyes slowly.

"This will make you feel better." It was Lily's voice. She was standing over him with a bottle of a potion. He started to get up, but his head felt too heavy. He laid back down, closed his eyes and put his hands to his head.

She looked at him with concern. She opened the bottle and lifted his head. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat, but was still unable to speak. She tipped the bottle to his lips and he took the potion without complaint. He knew he must have been ill. He was never this compliant and normally hated this kind of treatment.

"There. You should start to feel better soon. I will see if we have some fever reducing potion. If not, I will make some."

Lily put the lid back on the bottle and set it on the side table before sitting next to him on the couch. She looked him quite anxiously and felt his forehead again. She pulled her hand away and shook her head. "I think your fever has gone up. You are looking even worse for the wear than when you arrived. I don't need my wand to tell me that. I think I should get some more cold cloths." She got up and headed for the bathroom. She came back with a wet cloth and put it on his forehead.

Lily could tell his chest was congested. She put her ear to his chest. Severus wasn't sure what she was doing. She lifted her head. "I don't think you have pneumonia, but I'll keep an eye out."

Severus was sure he was delirious as he suddenly grabbed her hand. She looked shocked for a second, but then smiled. To his surprise, she gave his hand a light squeeze. "You should probably go upstairs and go on to bed."

He nodded and started to get up. She steadied him as she helped him up. Once he was upstairs and in bed, she left the room. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

He was left alone and looked down at his hand with a smile. Severus decided he should probably get some rest. Maybe he would feel better in the morning. He closed his eyes and drifted off into a delirious slumber.

Severus awoke suddenly in the middle of the night. Something cold was touching his face. He realized he was shaking violently. His skin felt like it was on fire. He pulled the covers tighter around him, unable to get warm. He wanted to find more blankets and attempted to sit up, but something pushed him back down.

"Shh. Stay still." Someone said.

He turned his head slowly to find Lily sitting in a chair by his bed. She put an ice cold towel behind his neck. He couldn't stop trembling and his teeth chattered non-stop. Severus tried to speak, but he could not do so. He only managed to make a Don Vito Corleone sounding rasp. His throat burned with pain.

She looked at him and shook her head. "You are burning up. I'm trying to break your fever. It's horribly high." She stuck an ice pack on his head before unbuttoning his night shirt. She began to lay cold towels on him.

_How long had Lily been there?_ He wondered. She looked almost terrified as she worked to cool him down. _Am I that sick?_ He must have been. _Maybe I should have listened to Lily and stayed home from work. _He thought to himself. He coughed as he tried his best to talk.

"I contacted St. Mungo's. They think it is a bit of an infection. It may be the flu, but that's not important right now. I need to break your fever before it gets too high. It was above 40 degrees Celsius a short time ago." She continued to put ice cold rags on him. This only made him colder. "I have a fever reducing potion brewing, but it takes a few hours to make. It should be finished soon."

He shut his eyes as she continued to lay ice cold towels on him and drifted off into a feverish rest. He awoke sometime later, sweating profusely. His fever had broken. Lily was still there. She smiled when she saw he was awake.

"Your fever broke a short time ago, thank goodness." She rubbed a damp cloth over his face, mopping up the sweat. She brushed his hair out his face with her hand. "Do you have any other symptoms besides the obvious fever and coughing? Does anything hurt?"

He nodded and grabbed at his throat.

"Your throat hurts?" She asked. "Can I have a look at your throat?"

He sighed softly and opened his mouth. She shook her head. "Your throat is red, but I don't think it is strep or anything."

He started to cough fiercely. His whole body racked as he coughed. She got up and put a hand on his shoulder blade. She started to gently rub his back. His throat felt like it was on fire and his stomach churned as he coughed. He willed himself not to throw up.

She grabbed a bottle once his hacking cough slowed. "You need to take this. It should help clear up whatever you have."

Severus tried to take the bottle, but his hands were shaking too much. Lily gave him the medicine instead. He was far too ill to fight with her. It was hard to swallow, but he managed to get the potion down. He laid back down, still trembling with fever. He pointed to his wrist, trying to indicate he wanted to know the time. He doubted she would understand.

"It's two in the morning." Lily answered without hesitation. He looked at her in surprise. She gave him a tiny smile. "Try and go back to sleep. You need your rest." She put her hand on his head. "Maybe you will at least get your voice back soon."

He couldn't help but smile and out of impulse, he reached out and put his hand to her face. She looked a little surprised. "Your hands are like ice." She took his hand in hers and smiled at him. "But you know what they say: Cold hands, warm heart. Cold, reserved exterior. Warmhearted interior."

Her comment surprised to say the least and the way she smiled seemed different and caught him off-guard. He hoped she would think it was only the fever that had made him touch her like that. Why else would he have bothered? Certainly he wasn't gaining more confidence. He would never have tried to make such a move if he wasn't sick, would he?

His heart pounded in his chest. He was definitely delirious, he had to be delirious. He was seeing things. She was only smiling at him as a friend. He was only imaging he had seen something more to it than there was. Surely she wouldn't feel anything toward him beyond friendship, would she?

Lily had spent half the night up with Severus and in his delirium, he had touched her face softly. His hands were cold. She had smiled at him, thinking off the old idiom. Severus had looked at her funny. It was almost as if-no, no way. That was crazy, wasn't it? He didn't possibly like her, did he? She felt her heart begin to thump in her chest. No, he didn't think of her as anything more than a friend. That wasn't possible, was it? _Of course it was, you moron._ She said to herself. _It could happen, especially given the situation. But it wouldn't work between them. It had only been four months since James had passed. _

She was not ready to think about this. Lily had no intention of finding someone else. She figured it would be many years before she would be ready to pursue a relationship with anyone. Of course, she had thought it would take a long time to move forward with her life. She imagined the grieving process taking more time. She still missed James a lot and she would never forget him, but she was already moving forward. It had been nearly four months and she was at a stage now where she was working on relocating James emotionally and moving on with her life with Harry.

She figured she had moved on faster because of her situation. Lily had forced herself to move through the grieving tasks. She had worked to accept the reality of the loss and cope with the pain of it, grieving hard, but not long. Some days were still easier than others.

Lily knew she would be lying if she said Severus hadn't helped her. He had greatly. She knew it would not have been so easy if she didn't have his company. He had been great about letting her express her grief and listening to her. She knew how he felt about James, but he still listened to her. He had been just as great at understanding when she needed to be alone or didn't feel up to talking. It was part of the reason she had chosen to stay. At this time, he was her rock in all this mess. Minus the occasional debate or frustration at another's habit, they got along fairly well.

Deep down, it didn't scare her so much to think that Severus might like her. It didn't bother her, even if it surprised her that he might feel that way about her. Even if he did like her as more than a friend, she knew he would not try to pursue her without her willingness to do the same. She wasn't going to let the thought change their friendship.

What scared her were her own feelings. She was wondering if she was possibly seeing him as more than a friend as well. She was not ready for those feelings yet. It must be the delirium that made him see her that way_. It was just a bit of momentary lust as a result of the intimate situation we are in, that's all._ She thought to herself. _It was nothing. It would pass._ At least that's what she convinced herself to believe anyway.

_**A/N: **Don Vito Corleone sounding rasp refers to Marlon Brando's character in The Godfather. You would have to see it to fully understand. Just think of a throaty rasping sound if you haven't. It's a good film, but I still shudder when I think of the horse head in the bed *shivers in disgust*. So cruel. _

_I had absolutely nothing to do this morning. Really, I was all caught up, so I finished this. I figure I will get hit full blast with a workload soon. Besides, I had already completed half of this by the time I posted Chapter 19. Chapter 19 got too long, so I split it and created two chapters. I can't believe I have completed 20 chapters for this story. I really liked this chapter, so I hope you do as well. Maybe I'll get 21 up sometime over the weekend since it's a long weekend. I make no promises though._

_Also, even thought Lily may have felt something between them, she is not ready to pursue anything yet. I felt like it would be unrealistic in their circumstances, especially given the close situation they are in, the fact that they have known each other a long time and the intimate interactions in this chapter, that she would never feel anything. A scenario such as this would emerge such feelings, but it would occur before she was ready emotionally to deal with them. She will still need time before a relationship beyond friendship happens. _


	21. Chapter 21: Of Sickness and Snakes

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **The Wilde Rose, Narutonarutolove, HughSoSexy, Sassymagpie, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Gyoro and Ururun, AlgophobianSadist,MarissaRosee,Jordina,Shinywhiteboards, Twichild369, Ujemaima,** and **Darkprince31 **for the nice reviews. I really appreciate everyone's encouraging comments. I try to answer everyone's questions as I can. If I don't answer your question I either: Forgot and I apologize honestly for that or I can't do so without telling you what will happen. _

_Congratulations to **Ujemaima.** You were the 250th reviewer! _

_Twichild369 and others who are curious: Yes, Harry will like Sirius more as he gets a bit older. Will Severus and Sirius ever get along? Yes, they will be able to keep the peace between each other and grow up, but they'll never be friends here. Will Severus ever come to love Harry (father-son type love)? I can't answer this without giving away too much. _

_Narutonarutolove and curious others: Lily hasn't exactly fallen in love with him yet. She may have a felt something slightly above friendship in their intimate situation, but it was little more than attraction. She was indeed attracted to him, but it wasn't love. At least not yet anyway. _

_Finally uploaded. I wasn't sure if I was going to get it up tonight. Some storms rolled in and my internet has been in and out. _

_Credit to **Ranma's Girl1** for some of the ideas for this chapter. _

**Chapter 21: Of Sickness and Snakes**

Severus woke up feeling not feeling any better than the previous day. If fact, he felt much worse. He put his hand to his head. He was going to have to call in sick today. He turned over and though his body protested, he managed to get up from the bed. That's when he noticed Lily was still there. She was sound asleep on the floor.

He didn't want to wake her up. He got to his feet unsteadily and grabbed the side table. In doing so, the lamp fell over and rocked back and forth. Lily stirred, but didn't wake up. He let go and slowly headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

He turned back, gripping door frame. He opened his mouth to talk, but found himself unable to do so. _Great,_ Severus thought. He still had laryngitis. Severus just pointed down the hallway.

She sighed. "Okay. You can manage that yourself, I hope." He raised an eyebrow before leaving the room.

Lily got up once he left and headed for her room. She got herself dressed and headed back to Severus's bedroom. He was crawling back into bed when she entered.

"Do you need anything?"

He nodded and started to get out of bed. She shook her head.

"You need to stay in bed. Would you like something to drink?" He nodded. "Okay. I'll be back." She left and went downstairs to get something to drink.

Severus hated feeling helpless. When she came back, he was sitting up in bed. She handed him a glass of juice with ice in it. He took it graciously and chugged it down. She turned the transfigured mattress back into a chair and sat down.

"Harry isn't here. He's staying with Lupin for a couple days. It's better for him to stay away from the flu. At his age, it could be bad. Lupin is great with him so Harry will be fine. I'm sure Sirius will be over there and they will hype him up with junk food and wear him out. Sirius is basically a kid himself so, they'll have fun I'm sure."

Severus smiled at her calling Sirius a child. Lily poured him some more juice and took his temperature. He did not like her treating him like a sick child, but what else could he do. "About 39. Not good, but not as bad as last night." She poured some potions and handed them to him. He took them and laid back down.

"I already sent a letter of sick leave for work. They granted it, but aren't happy. They want you to stay away until you are well. I guess they want you to keep your illness here."

Severus nodded and pulled the covers tighter around him, feeling cold with fever. Lily brushed the hair out of his face with the back of her hand. "I think you should try and go back to sleep. Rest will help you get better faster." She smiled. "I am going to go downstairs and see if I can work that new color TV the neighbors gave us. Let me know if you need anything."

He shut his eyes and fell asleep. He drifted in and out of sleep the entire day. His muscles ached too much to move around. He drank plenty of fluids per her request, but barely ate anything.

Severus was still sick the next day, but his voice had come back and he had started to fuss about the attention she was giving him. To Lily, this meant he was feeling a little better. He still wasn't eating much, which troubled her a little, but she figured he would get his appetite back soon. She decided to sleep in her room that night since his fever had remained stable and he appeared to be fighting off the bug well.

Lily woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. She wasn't sure what woke her up. She looked over at the alarm clock. It was three-fifteen in the morning. As she started to shut her eyes, she decided to get up and check on Severus. She went to his bedroom and looked in on him, assuming he was fine. She was wrong. He was shivering violently and his face was flushed heavily with fever.

She ran to him. "Sev, wake up."

"I didn't do it. Don't hurt me."

"Sev, wake up."

Severus jolted awake to see Lily looking at him with concern.

"Hey, I wanted to make sure you were alright. You look like you have gotten worse." She ran her wand over him. "40.6! You're burning up!"

"Cold." He said as his body trembled.

"I know. I'm going to go get you something cold to drink, okay." She left. He pulled more covers over himself, but couldn't get warm. She came back in a few minutes later and handed him a glass. He took a few sips and set it on the table. He shut his eyes, too tired to stay awake and rested. Lily got some lukewarm cloths and tried to cool him down as his temperature rose. She had no idea why his fever had suddenly spiked so high.

"I didn't take it." He said out of nowhere.

Lily raised her eyebrow. "What?" She didn't know what he was talking about.

"I just hid it from him."

She knew his fever had spiked up rather high and she had a bad feeling he was delirious and probably having a nightmare of some sort. "What did you hide?"

"The money. I need the books."

"Books?" She asked. _He was answering the questions_, she thought. _He must not be completely asleep._

"For school."

"Oh."

"He'd just spend it at the pub."

Lily swallowed hard. She wondered if he was dreaming or whether he was remembering his past. She had a feeling it was the latter. Lily knew his father had been a heavy drinker who preferred to spend his money at the pub instead of caring for his wife and child. She also knew his parents argued a lot and that his childhood had been far from happy as a result.

Severus suddenly woke back up as Lily took his arm and touched his hot skin with a rag. He hardly knew what he was doing as he cupped his hand on her face. She smiled.

"Am I dying?"

"Not today."

"Your hair is like a candle flame. It makes you look beautiful."

Lily felt herself blush. James had told her that her hair looked like fire sometimes. She smiled. "Um, thanks." She wanted to laugh at his sudden, flirtatious bravado. He was definitely out of it. The Sev she knew would never say something like that, even if he thought it. The only thing she didn't know was if he saying that because he was delirious with fever or if he really thought that.

It wasn't too long before his chills stopped and she noticed he was sweating. It was sign his fever had broken so she went back to bed. The next morning, he was still weak, but he felt much better. She did not tell him what he had said to her in his delirium. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the truth just yet.

0o0o0o

_Mid-March 1982_

It was early in the morning. Severus was reading _The Daily Prophet_ and drinking some coffee. He felt secure here. It was peaceful being in a muggle neighborhood. Minus the neighbor's yapping little mutts and the screaming kids up the street, that is. It surprised him to think that he wouldn't mind living among muggles since he always hated it before. He figured it had to do with the knowledge that they were hidden from harm here. No one knew where he lived now, not even the Malfoys. No one in the Order knew besides Lupin, Dumbledore and to Severus's dismay: Sirius.

Harry was playing with one his toys on the floor. "The cat says meow. The cow says moo. The horse says neigh." The toy spoke.

Lily had gone upstairs to take a shower. The neighborhood children were all off at school and the adults were at work. A few nosey women eyed their new neighbors strangely. Lily and Severus had opted not to wear their robes in favor of muggle clothing so they would blend in. Lily eagerly talked to the women. Severus preferred to avoid the interaction and glares he got.

Lily stepped into the shower. As she wet her hair down before lathering it, she felt something slid over her shoulder. She froze and looked over. She saw a small snake slithering over her toward the floor and screamed in shock. The snake fell to the tub floor and hissed at her. She threw back the shower curtain, nearly tripping over the tub's edge as she hurried away from where the snake was. She grabbed her towel and ran out of the bathroom.

As Severus read about the capture of Rodolpus Lestrange, he heard a scream. He realized it was Lily. He jumped up from his chair and ran up the stairs with his wand out. Lily was standing in the hallway at her bedroom door. "What happened? What's the matter?"

Lily looked over at him. "A snake! There's a snake in the shower! It landed on me!" She was soaking wet and her hair was dripping water on the carpet. She was only wearing a towel. He had to look away.

"A snake? Are you sure?" He cleared his throat quietly.

"Yes, it's in the shower." Severus sighed and went into the bathroom. He pulled back the shower curtain and found a strange orange and red snake curled up at the edge of the tub. Sun was shining through the small window and was dripped over the small snake. The snake was sunbathing. Water still poured from the showerhead. Severus pointed his wand at the snake.

"Don't kill it!" She shouted. He sighed.

"Fine. I'll make it go to sleep and set outside. Will that make you happy?" He turned to her. She nodded. He looked away and said a spell at the snake. The snake grew limp. He picked it up and took it out of the house and out into the yard.

"It seems too early for snakes. I figured they would be hibernating. I wonder how it got in here." Lily asked.

"I have no idea. I don't recognize it as a normal snake around England. I wonder if-" They looked at each other.

"Mr. Macmillian." They said at the same time.

"I bet he's a missing one of his pets." Severus grumbled.

"Yes, maybe you should go over and ask him about it."

Severus nodded to her. He could not help but notice that her ivory skin seemed so smooth and her hair glistened like fire in the sunlight despite being wet. He felt his heart beat fast. He always thought she was beautiful, but he never realized just how attractive she was to him. No, no, he wasn't thinking these things. He was not checking her out. He looked away quickly. No matter what he thought, she certainly would not feel the same.

"I think I'll just go finish taking a shower now so we can head into town." She said, turning away, remembering she was only wearing a towel. Now that she had calmed down, she realized the situation was a bit awkward. She was still unsure what she had seen in him a couple weeks before. If it wasn't all delirium from the high fever and he did like her as more than a friend, well, she was only making that worse. Even if he didn't like her as more than a friend, he was still a heterosexual male and would probably be uncomfortable seeing her with barely anything on. She left the room and headed back upstairs.

Harry was watching them as if confused. Severus sat down. He had to push these thoughts about Lily out of his mind. He knew she was too far out of his league despite what he thought he saw back when he had the flu. He was delirious then. He'd seen other young men checking her out, though she was always rather annoyed by it, especially when any of them tried a pick-up line or attempted to get her number. She claimed she did not want to date anyone right now.

Severus was normally a confident person. He could fool one of the most powerful wizards out there, yet when it came to Lily, a simple young woman, he was dumbfounded. She had a way of seeping through his emotional shell and shattering his cool demeanor. He knew he liked her, but he figured he would fine with all this. It was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Living with the person you are attracted to was far from simple, especially when you cannot tell them so. It was growing harder and harder for him to pretend he didn't like her as more than a friend.

She came back down shortly after in a pair of jeans and a sweater. They left the house and headed into town.

"Can you take Harry while I try these on?"

"Sure."

"Don't let him out of your sight. He'll disappear."

"I won't let him disappear." Lily left for the dressing room. Harry tried to climb a bench in the corner. He got on and off the bench several times. It was apparently entertaining to him. When Lily left the dressing room, she was stopped by a young man not much older than she was.

"Hey, if I told you look beautiful in that shirt, would you hold that against me?" He was smiling.

"Maybe."

"Are you in a relationship?"

"Not currently, but-"

"So can I get your number?" Lily frowned. "We can go straight to it and make like peanut butter and jelly if you want." Lily looked disgusted.

"That's probably the corniest way of asking me to sleep with you that I have ever heard."

"I know what I want. You look lonely and I figured you'd want the same." She scoffed in disgust and walked away, but not before taking out her wand and causing the man to trip with the shoe-lace jinx. The jinx tied his shoelaces together, caused the person to trip and tied themselves back.

Severus saw her do this, a bit surprised she would do that to someone. As she worked toward him, he could tell she was aggravated.

"What's wrong?"

"The nerve of some men, I swear. Asking me to sleep with them as if I am some sort of whore. Do I look like a whore?"

"No." He said honestly.

"That's all they ever want. That's all they think about, isn't it?"

"Well-" He started.

"Don't answer that."

He gave her a tiny smile as they headed to the children's department.

"Can you believe he would ask for my number and then ask to make love with me at the same time? I don't get it. This is the third time recently I have been both asked out and asked to be slept with from a guy. Why do they think I would just hop in bed with them? I don't understand." She huffed in frustration. He didn't say a word. "I don't understand why they even ask me. I don't think I am that pretty. It makes no sense to me. You are a guy, what do you think? Am I attractive?"

He looked at her. She seemed like she wanted an answer, but he didn't have one. What could he say? If he said no, he would be lying and it would probably upset her. If he said yes, he would be admitting he found her attractive and that would lead to more pressing questions he didn't want to answer. He would love to tell her yes, that she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid eyes on, but he could not do that. Severus didn't want to scare her off.

"You really don't expect me to answer that question, do you?" She looked at him and smiled.

"Yea, you're right. I shouldn't ask you that." She let out a small laugh. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot."

"It's alright." He said, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. She didn't seem to notice his nervousness. Severus liked that she hated the other young men hitting on her, but it made him slightly jealous. He did not really want her to like someone else. He wanted her to like him no matter how far-fetched it seemed. It bothered him though that she didn't understand why they would hit on her. He never understood why she didn't think she was pretty. Since most of them tended to just want to get her to bed, Lily clearly assumed they thought she was some kind of a hooker. He wished she felt as beautiful as he thought she was.

"I'm just not willing to go out with someone so quick and I am not going to hop into bed with someone just like that. That is disgusting. I'd rather be friends with someone first and let the romance develop that way." Lily grabbed a shoe box. "These look nice. I'll see if they fit him. Harry is growing like a weed."

He smiled to himself as Lily put a pair of shoes on Harry. Perhaps he did have a chance with her. He could still dream, couldn't he?

_**A/N:** 40.6 degrees Celsius =105 degrees Fahrenheit for the fellow Americans who don't feel up to trying to convert the numbers. I understand. I'm not a math person either._

_I don't know when I'll get the next chapter up. This week will be busy. I have to clear up an issue with the financial aid department at school because nothing can ever just go smoothly, ever. I also have some doctor appointments because my family doctor keeps giving me the run around and I get nowhere. I also need to get my car into the shop and get some new tires because the old ones are wearing out and I don't wish for one of them to blow while driving 70mph on the interstate. That would be bad and potentially dangerous. So, be patient. _

_Also, if you notice little errors such as week for weak, my computer has been automatically fixing these after my edits. I think I finally got them all fixed, but do not hesitate to pm me and let me know otherwise. Thanks! _


	22. Chapter 22: Nightmares

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_*Reuploaded due to realizing my last edits were not fixed with the upload. Gah! Hope this reads a bit better now. Sorry about that and I apologize to Gabrielle for her name missing on my list of thanks. I'm not sure what happened there. _

_Thanks to **Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Very Small Prophet, HughSoSexy, Queen Tonda O Lay, GabrielleRSnape , Narutonarutolove, OnyxEmerald, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, Gyoro and Ururun,Reader123, Musicalfan2012, Always123, The Wilde Rose, Jordina, Twichild369, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, MarissaRosee, Ujemaima, ShinyWhiteboards** and **DarkPrince31 **for the lovely reviews. _

_Very Small Prophet: Obviously Dumbledore knew ; ) ,but I don't recall Severus ever saying outright that he was in love with her. I did want Dumbledore to ask him directly. I don't have a reason to believe that anyone at Hogwarts knew that he liked Lily nor do I have a reason to suspect she knew his feelings for her. I do think James guessed it, however and I don't think it would be out in left field to assume he was a bit jealous of Severus. __Also, do we know that Sirius's intention was to kill Severus? I don't believe it was. His prank was stupid and dangerous, but I doubt he comprehended the real dangers of it at all. Yes! You hit the nail on the head regarding that statement. The irony considering what we know about James and Lily before their seventh year. I will say though, it was not the constant harassment that got Lily to befriend and fall in love with James. At least not in this fanfic. _

_The pick-up lines are not ones I made up. The PB&J line was used on a friend once. I couldn't resist using it :p_

**Chapter 22: Nightmares**

_Late April 1982_

Lily was exhausted when she crawled into bed. She had been reading a book and wanted to finish it before she went to sleep. She drifted into a peaceful sleep. This soon changed as she fell into REM sleep and her mind began to replay the events of Halloween. This time was different though. She hadn't been quick enough and Voldemort had killed both of them. Her dream changed and she saw Voldemort approaching their house. It was too late for her to run. She heard someone screaming in the dream. So did Severus.

He bolted up out of bed and headed for Lily's room. Severus burst open the door and looked over at Lily. She was thrashing about wildly. She was still asleep and he realized she was dreaming. He walked over and began to nudge her.

"Lily? Lily! Wake up!"

Lily opened her eyes with a gasp.

"Lily, are you alright?" Lily felt herself drenched in cold sweat. She was gripping the bed tightly. "Lily?"

"What are you doing in here?" She asked, confused and slowly let go of the mattress.

"You were screaming bloody murder. I thought something was wrong."

So the screams were from her and she had apparently screamed loud enough to wake him up and concern him. "They are coming!" She shouted, bolting upright. "Where's my wand?"

"Who's coming?" He asked and handed her the wand on the side table.

"Death Eaters. They know where we live. They are coming. We have to hide." It was quiet. The only sound that was emitted was from the trembling of the bed where Lily was still shaking in terror and a few chirping insects.

"No one is coming, Lily. It's two o'clock in the morning. I'm sure nearly all the Death Eaters are sound asleep in their beds at their homes. My mark didn't burn. Surely it would have because the Dark Lord would want the pleasure of doing the deed himself."

"It didn't burn last time they showed up!"

"That was because they did not find us."

"They were killing him!"

"Who was killing whom?"

"Harry! I was supposed to die! What if I screwed up fate by escaping?"

"You didn't screw up fate by leaving. You saved your own life by escaping. You saved Harry's life from the Dark Lord's wrath by leaving that house. It would have been nothing short of a miracle if you two stayed in that house and managed to survive. You did what you did out of instinct."

"No, I messed up. I should have died too."

"Don't talk like that. Harry needs you. He needs his mother."

"No, he was killing him, he killed my baby! He's going to come after him and kill him! I only messed with fate for a bit, but it's going to come back to haunt us, I know it!" She was hysterical. Severus sat down on the bed beside her. He had to find a way to calm her down.

"Lily?"

"No, he can't hurt my baby. I can't let him hurt him, please, don't let him. We have to get out of here, go away, far away."

"Lily!" She turned, hyperventilating. He took her hands. She looked at him in surprise.

"Lily, listen to me. You-are-not-going-to-die, okay?" He said slowly. "No one is coming. The house is secure. Harry is safe, see?" Severus pointed down the hallway to where Harry's room was. "He's fine. He was sound asleep when I walked by."

"He won't be fine forever. Voldemort is going to kill my baby, my precious baby." She burst into tears. Severus moved closer to her on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder. She buried her face into his shirt. He put his arm around her. "I saw him kill Harry. I saw him do it. He killed me and then Harry. I know he's going to find us at some point and then that will be it. He'll kill us." She said through sobs.

He gently pushed her hair back, getting it off of her wet face. "Everything is fine. It was just a nightmare. No one is hurt. No one knows where you and Harry are, I promise. Everything is going to be okay." He said this, trying to mask his own uncertainty in the situation. Lily and Harry were in great danger and so was he for hiding them, but that wasn't going to stop him. Severus rubbed her back slowly, trying to calm her down.

Lily felt his hands against her back. As he touched her, she felt a strange sensation rise up inside her. It was as if a flame was beginning to burn and she was not sure where it came from. She felt her heart begin to race. Lily noticed how strong and soft his hands were as they caressed her spine and stroked her hair. She knew the feeling that was welling up inside her, but she refused to let herself believe it. She decided to try and push it out of her mind. There were too many other things to think about. Lily closed her eyes again, trying to calm herself down.

She could feel him breathing when she closed her eyes. She noticed that he smelled like peppermint and he felt so warm, in a comfortable way. The flame that she was trying to put out just burned hotter. Lily berated herself mentally for thinking about him this way. "Dammit, get a hold of yourself. Think about something else. Remember that trip to Ireland as child. Remember the ocean. The ocean was calming." As she thought about the ocean, she drifted back to sleep.

Severus noticed she had stopped crying. Lily wasn't making a move to get out of his grip, so he figured she still wanted to be comforted. He closed his eyes as he rubbed her back in his own exhaustion. The next thing he remembered was a hard nudge on his arm.

Lily woke up to a soft heartbeat against her ear. She noticed she was moving very slightly as if someone was breathing under her. Lily looked up and realized she was lying on Severus. Well, her head was on his chest. His hand was on her back still. She bolted up and in a panic looked around, thinking someone would see them like this. No one was in the house besides the three of them, so she did not know why she was so alarmed.

He was still sound asleep. The night's events replayed in her mind and reminded her of how they had ended up in the position they were in. She nudged him. He didn't move. She pushed his arm hard and he awoke with a start.

Severus woke up feeling someone or something pushing him. He put his hands to his forehead and rubbed them down his face, trying to wake himself up. He had been rather comfortable and wasn't quite ready to get up for the day.

"Sev? Wake up, Sev?"

"I'm up." He mumbled and took his hands off his face. He looked around the room. This was Lily's room. "What's wrong?" He asked at the look of shock on her face.

"We slept together, that's what's wrong."

Severus looked at her with an eyebrow raised and grinned. "Did we now?" he laughed. " Surely I would have remembered that."

"You know what I meant. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"My mind is not in the gutter. You said we slept together. I was unaware we had done so."

She looked at him exasperated a second before turning away quickly. She felt her face grow hot and knew she was blushing. This was not a something to joke about in her opinion.

"Unless you know something I don't." He joked, seeing her blush.

"Very funny." She turned back to him and in her frustration with him, grabbed a pillow and threw it toward him before getting out of the bed. It hit him in the face.

He was bit surprised and threw it back, hitting her arm on accident.

"Hey!" She grabbed the pillow and tried to strike him back, thinking he'd done that one purpose. He grabbed an extra pillow and blocked her strike. He got out of the bed.

She looked at him for a moment. He looked back at her and for a split second, their gazes met. Lily broke the gaze, feeling uneasy. She cleared her throat to break the tension. Severus could have sworn he saw something in her eyes when she looked into his. It was almost like a spark. It made him curious. Was she beginning to like him the way he liked her? _No, absolutely not_. He thought. He figured he was just confused because he wanted her to like him back.

Harry started to fuss. She let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding feeling completely troubled. "I, I'm going to go get Harry." She left the room.

Severus made the bed and left the room. The sun was shining through the windows and it made him happy for once. He couldn't help but smile. Severus passed by Harry's bedroom. Lily was getting him dressed. She looked up and gave him a little smile, trying to not show her tension.

"I guess I should thank you for last night. For trying to calm me down. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I didn't mean to either."

"At least you didn't have any nightmares."

Severus grinned. "No, I dreamt about us sleeping together. Except it wasn't really a dream, was it?"

She looked at him and frowned. "Ha ha ha." She mocked. "You are never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"No." He said with a soft sneer. She huffed in aggravation. He smiled as she headed toward him.

"Come along, Sweetie." She said to Harry before turning to Severus. "I'm going to go get dressed and then we can have some breakfast." As he stepped aside to let them through the door, Harry spoke.

"Dada."

Lily turned back to Harry, who was looking at Severus. Lily looked at Severus and felt her heart begin to race. Her stomach gave a flip in a good way. She did not like it mentally though. She ran her fingers through her hair in complete frustration. Lily didn't know what was going on. She was tempted right then to pack their things and run as far away as possible. She knew it would be no use to do that though. Where would they go for one? Two, she knew she couldn't run from her feelings, even if they were feelings she did not want to have.

He noticed she seemed quite stressed. It was clear she wasn't having as good a morning as he was. She seemed conflicted for some reason. "He's a baby, Lily. He's called me that before. Surely he doesn't think of me as his father. Honestly, that's just silly. James Potter is his father." He said the last sentence through his teeth, trying to mask his disgust.

Lily shook her head. At least Severus seemed unaware about her feelings for now. If he knew what was really bothering her, he'd probably flip out. "No, he does mean it and think it. I mean, yes, James is his real father, but he now thinks you are his father." _Which isn't that big of a deal_, she thought.

"Surely he doesn't. Not really. I doubt he even knows what the word means."

"The only person he has said that to was James. It was his first word." She sighed, her thoughts about Severus still racing through her mind. "Maybe living together like this was a bad idea. Why did I listen to Dumbledore? I knew this wouldn't turn out good." She bit her lip nervously.

"It's just a word. Things will end soon. I'm sure Dumbledore and the Order will find a way to get rid of You-Know-Who." He sighed inwardly. "Then you and the kid can go wherever you want and I will go off somewhere too." He looked at Lily, who was staring at a painting on the wall. Severus wondered if she had even heard him. "Lily?" She didn't answer. "Lily?" He said louder.

She realized he was speaking to her, but she was still lost in thought. "What?"

"You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"

"Huh?"

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

Lily snapped out of her thoughts. She looked at him. He was looking at her curiously with his eyebrow raised. She noticed his obsidian colored eyes and how they matched his hair really well. She nearly panicked as she realized what she was doing. She was checking him out. This was bad. What was she thinking? It had only been six months. What would James think if he knew she already liked someone else? Would he hate her for it? What would he think if he knew the person she was attracted to was Severus? She felt tears suddenly pierce her eyes. She swallowed them back.

"Everything is wrong." She said with a sigh.

"He'll learn the truth when he's a bit older if you are worried about him thinking I'm his father."

"It's not that, really. It's just a word." She admitted.

"Then what is it?"

Lily shook her head. "It's nothing. Forget about it. Lets, let's just have breakfast."

"Okay." He said skeptically. Severus wasn't going to try and understand. He decided maybe she was just having an off day or experiencing her monthly mood swings. He wasn't going to ask any more questions.

Lily started to speak, but stopped herself. She walked toward the stairs. She looked at him again. Her heart began to pound in her chest. The fight or flight response hit her. She knew what she wanted to do. "I have to get out of here." She grabbed Harry and started down the steps.

"Where are you going to go?" He asked a bit nervous. He didn't want her to leave for good just yet.

"I don't know. Somewhere, anywhere. I need to think. I'll be back."

He smiled when she was halfway down the stairs. "Ahem." He cleared his throat. "Do you intend to leave the house right now?"

"Yes." She said, exasperated. "I just need to get out of here."

"Lily."

"I'm losing it, I really am."

"Lily!"

"What?"

"You know you are still in your nightgown, don't you?" She looked down and cleared her throat, a little embarrassed.

"Fine. I'll change first." She set Harry down and headed back up to her room, nearly slamming the door. Harry looked up Severus, clearly confused. Severus raised his eyebrow.

"Go out?" He asked with a shrug.

"I guess so, kid."

Lily ran a brush over her hair, taking a few deep breaths. She went over to the dresser and pulled out her engagement and wedding rings. She had taken them off as a way to cope and move forward with the loss. She put them in her pocket. Lily came out a few minutes later and headed for the bathroom, not looking at him. When she came out of the bathroom, she still wouldn't look at him and grabbed Harry, who had climbed back up the stairs.

"Are you sure you are okay, Lily?"

"I'm fine." She said through gritted teeth.

"I don't believe that. If it's Harry, I promise he's not anymore attached to me than he would be to any other person who helped care for him. James will still be his father. It's not like that will ever change. I'll never be the kid's father. You know that."

She looked at him. Her green eyes seemed filled with pain and confusion. Something else was definitely wrong. "I know that." She looked away and down at the carpet on the stairs. "Of course James is his father and he's just confused, I know. He doesn't understand everything that's been happening."

Lily wasn't sure what was happening to her or where her Gryffindor bravery was. She was normally brave and fearless. So why was she so afraid? Why did she want to run for the first time in her life instead of face what was happening? She wasn't one to deny truth or reality normally, but she refused to believe this was occurring. What was happening scared her. She had been noticing it happening slowly. It had been growing and it certainly was going to surface at some point. She had convinced herself it wouldn't. It wasn't some school girl crush and she knew it, but it had only been six months. She wasn't ready to feel something more than friendship, yet she was feeling it anyway.

"Is it James? Are you worried what he will think about his son calling me his father? I'm sure he'd understand it as a mistake even if it made him upset."

_Yes_, thought Lily. _What would James think about my predicament? He would hate me. What have I done? How could I allow myself to be put in this situation?_ She felt tears sting her eyes again.

"I'm not concerned about that." She said honestly. "I knew Harry might say it. It's no big deal, really."

Severus had no idea how a simple word had spiraled into so much more. She looked miserable. He didn't know what to say or do to make her feel better because he didn't know what was wrong with her.

"I don't know what-" Her voice cracked. "I need to go. I need to get out of here." She headed for the door. "I'll be back soon." She left him standing on the stairs, completely confused.

Something had happened. He knew that much and it little to nothing to do with Harry calling him dad. No, something else was bothering her. He had a feeling it was him, but he wasn't sure what he did wrong. He ran his hands through his hair. He was good at reading people most of the time, but sometimes Lily was a mystery to him. Right now was one of those times. He could not figure out what was wrong with her.

Severus wondered if he should go after her or leave her alone for the time being. He decided he would leave her for a little while to her thoughts and if she wasn't back in a half hour, he'd go check up on her and make sure she was okay. He figured she was at the local park. She liked to go there to think and let Harry play.

Lily put Harry in a swing. The air was rather cool. She pushed him gently and let the swing move on its own, giving him another boost every so often to keep the swing moving. She took her engagement and wedding rings out of her pocket and looked at them. Lily stopped fighting the tears and let them fall. She had been doing so well at the grieving tasks. She had been doing fine at relocating James and trying to move forward. She just hadn't expected that part of her moving forward included falling in love with someone else.

_Was that why it was easier to move forward? Why do I like Severus though? What had changed that allowed me to begin to have feelings for him past friendship? What had caused the sparks in the first place?_ She asked herself, unable to come up with good answers. All he did was try and comfort her when she was upset. He'd done it plenty of times before. _What made last night different? _She pondered. _I can't be falling for him, I just can't. I have to stop this nonsense now. I'm not ready for any sort of romance yet._

"I need someone to tell me what to do. Sometimes I wish my parents were still alive so I could ask them what to do." Lily sighed. "But really, I know what mum would say. She'd tell me that if what my heart is saying matches what the mind already knows, there is little you can do about it. And that is what scares me the most." She said this out loud to no one really. She was alone in the park. "I guess I want someone to tell me it is nothing and it will go away soon. No one can honestly do that though because even I know it's not true. Perhaps they will finally get rid of Voldemort in the next couple of days. We can go somewhere else and pretend none of this ever happened."

"That's not fair to Severus though. We've become friends again. I can't just leave and never speak to him again. Having feelings for him isn't a reason to stop talking to him. Normally, it is a reason to get closer. If I'm honest with myself, I want to get close to him, but I'm not ready for that emotionally. Mentally and physically, sure. Maybe here in a few months I will think about it. In the mean time, I need to push my feelings aside and focus on the point of this arrangement: To keep Harry safe. In his case, this includes me as well."

She eyed the rings closer and felt herself filled with grief once again. "I'm sorry, James. I really am. I did not expect this to happen at all. I-" She choked back a sob. "I don't know why it is happening either. What can I do though? I can't just pretend I didn't feel anything. I already tried that. It only made it worse. I couldn't even look at him this morning without feeling something. I don't want to pursue anything yet despite how I feel. I'm not ready to do so. At some point later, I may be okay with it, but not now. If you can hear me, I hope you don't think poorly of me or him. I hope you don't hate me for all this."

Lily fought back tears as she imagined what James's reaction would be to her liking Severus after his death. Then she felt angry. He shouldn't be mad at her. It wasn't her fault. It just happened. If he thought poorly of her, then that was his problem, not hers. If he hated her for her feelings, then screw him. After she thought this, she felt guilty. How could she be mad at someone who isn't even alive? She had been in love with James. Of course he wouldn't like it that she liked Severus, but certainly he would get over it. She would never stop loving James. Nothing would change what they had together. It would not be fair of him to hold her feelings against her.

"I hope you know that he has been good to me, to us. I know it can't be easy for him. Harry is the spitting image of you, minus his eyes and you two did not like each other. Still, he's been great, really. We actually get along fairly well, I must say. I figured we would be annoyed to pieces with each other, but really, he's sweet. At least to me anyway. It's not that hard to like him, though I know a lot of people don't. That's because they never knew as I did or do know him. I really don't want to leave him yet I feel that staying may not be good."

She put the rings back in her pocket. As much as she wanted to deny it, the fact remained. She did like Severus, whether she was ready to fall in love or not.

_**A/N:** REM sleep stands for Rapid Eye Movement. It's the period of sleep when dreaming occurs._

_I think I got everything taken care of now, minus the tires. I still need to get new ones. I got this completed earlier than I thought because all it has done here is rain. Everyday. Nonstop. For two straight days. September is usually quite warm, even hot and rather dry here. What's with all this rain and these chilly temperatures, seriously?_

_As always, pm me for any possible errors/typos I may have missed. I hope you enjoyed this chapter._


	23. Chapter 23: On the Same Page

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **Shinywhiteboards, Tess4aria, Sassymagpie, Scotty77, The Wilde Rose, HughSoSexy,xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, Ranma's Girl1, Darkprince31, Zireael07, Narutonarutolove**, **Ujemaima**, **Gyoro and Ururun, Eliizilla-rawr **and **Reader676** for the reviews this great reviews! _

_*Got this up. My internet had not been cooperating with me lately. It not only has a tendency to not work when I try to upload here, but it loves to go out when I am almost finished with my Spanish work too. This means erasing all my hard work and making me have to start over. Such is life, I guess ; )_

_Scotty77: I hope you and others don't think I am telling people to give reviews. I'd never do that. I certainly appreciate those who do give their thoughts or advice for improvement. I never ask for them nor will I ever refuse to post new chapters until more people review (I've seen others do this). I like writing and sometimes it's fun to play around with other author's characters. I have actually stopped reading stories here that did that. Not asking to R&R, but unless they get such and such no. of reviews, won't update. That seems manipulative to me. I could care less about the number of reviews I have, though the high response on this does encourage me to continue with story. Nearly every comment has been positive or constructive. _

_When putting thanks list up, if there are periods or similar marks I will either leave them out or put DOT in the place. It won't work otherwise. _

_*From here on out there will be mentions of attraction that includes both sensual and sexual thoughts and feelings (mostly sensual, which involves attraction through the five senses: i.e. Lily noticing he smelled like peppermint.)I don't think they are inappropriate and nothing is going to happen any time soon between them sexually. _

**Chapter 23: On the Same Page**

When Lily came back home, she set Harry down at the table.

"Can you feed Harry?"

"Okay. Are you sure you are alright?"

She nodded unconvincingly. "I'll be fine. I just need to be alone." She left the room and heeded upstairs. Severus fed the kid and then headed upstairs to check on Lily.

Lily was lying on her bed, looking at her rings. He guessed she was missing James. She jumped, startled when he entered the room.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay? You seem so unhappy today."

Lily swallowed and looked away from him. "I wouldn't say I'm unhappy, just perplexed."

"Did I do something to make you feel that way?"

She gazed at him. She shrugged. Yes, he had, but it wasn't his fault, it was hers.

"Did I do or say something that upset you?"

"No, you didn't." She mumbled. "It's not you that's the problem. I'm the one with the problem." She said honestly. "I'll be fine. It's fine. I just need to convince myself that things are going to be okay. I'm sorry if I am making you think you did something. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just confused, that's all."

"What are you confused about?"

Severus watched as she turned to him. She still seemed conflicted. There was still the same pain in her eyes he had seen earlier. He could tell she was quite torn about something. What that was he didn't know.

"I'll figure it out." She forced herself to look at him. It wasn't much of a force since she wanted to look at him anyway. She couldn't help herself and looked over him again. Lily felt the sparks rise up inside her once more. She wanted to find something about him that be off-putting, but she could not do so. In fact, she thought he seemed damn near perfect.

"Are you okay? Lily?" Severus noticed she had gone into a daze. She was staring at him. He wasn't sure why she was looking at him. "Um, Lily?"

Lily snapped out of it. She tried not to blush and hoped he hadn't noticed what she was doing. "Sorry, I got lost in thought."

"Are you sure you are okay?" He asked her in concern.

"Yeah, fine."

He didn't believe her. "Is this about what happened last night? Does it bother you that much?"

"No." She said. It didn't really bother her at all. For a brief moment, she imagined kissing his lips zealously and wondered if they tasted like peppermint. Lily also wondered if she would feel the same sparks she felt now if she made out with him. Maybe he was bad kisser? For some reason she doubted that. She shook her head. What was happening to her? She'd never thought about that before. _I am not having these feelings. I am not having these thoughts. No. _She told herself. _Get ahold of yourself. It's just a bit of lust. Get a grip. _While she kept telling herself it was only slight attraction, just a bit of lust in their situation, but deep down she knew it was more than that.

"You were upset about it when you got up this morning. Remember that nothing happened that shouldn't have."

_Nothing happened, I wish nothing happened. _She laughed to herself._ No, something did happen, but not sexual._ Something had happened inside her that shouldn't have, in her opinion. Her mind was wrought with confusion and yet she wasn't confused at all. She wanted to be disgusted at her thoughts toward Severus, but she couldn't be because she wasn't disgusted in the least little bit. If she was honest with herself, the feelings were pleasant. This was the first time she'd ever thought of him this way. It didn't disgust her; it was a pleasant thought, though she was nowhere near ready for any sexual intimacy between them.

Lily wanted to think of the man everyone else saw so she could turn her back on these thoughts. She wanted to see the cold-hearted, greasy-haired, former Death Eater. She knew he wasn't completely cold-hearted and when he was, she knew why. She had known him before he became a Death Eater and she had come to know him since. She thought his hair looked healthier than it did when they kids since he was able to care for himself better than his parents had cared for him. Still, she thought it was an attractive quality of his. Maybe he had made a stupid mistake and joined something he thought would give him some power. Who hasn't made a mistake they regretted later? The point was that he realized his error and tried to correct it. She also found that to be an admirable quality of his.

"Is it Potter?" He asked her, causing her snap back to reality.

Lily shrugged. "Yes and no. I'll be fine, really."

She got up and set the rings on the table. She wiped the tears from her eyes. Severus got a wet rag and handed it to her. She looked confused. "Your makeup is smeared over your face."

Lily looked at him a bit embarrassed. "I bet I look terrible."

"You look fine. I mean it's not bad, I just figured you'd want to clean up." _You always look beautiful to me_, he thought with a smile. As much as he wanted to tell her that, he figured she'd think he'd lost his marbles. She wiped her face and sniffed. He pulled a lock of her hair back.

"It was stuck to your face."

"Oh." She said. She sighed inwardly. Lily was going to have to get used to these feelings. They seemed to be here to stay for awhile. "I'm getting hungry. I'll think I'll go have some breakfast." She got up and headed out of the room.

He followed her downstairs. He didn't know what had perked her up, but at least she seemed a little happier. He cleaned up the table after she had eaten.

"I think I'll take Harry into town today. I want to get out of the house for awhile."

"That's fine. I have to work this afternoon."

"I know." She sighed. "I've been thinking about what you said to me." Lily said to him, changing the subject.

Severus stopped cleaning up and put his wand down. He turned to her, unsure what was on her mind. "Something I said to you?"

She nodded. "A couple of weeks ago. We discussed jobs and money. You remember you told me that if I wanted to pursue the auror apprenticeship, I should do so. I know that James's inheritance is providing for us just fine, but I prefer to give most of it to Harry and Remus, since Remus can't get a job with his status."

"Are you saying you are considering doing the training?"

"I've been considering it, yes. I always wanted to do it, but other things got in the way. I mean, I wouldn't change it for the world, but I don't see a reason not to now. It'll give me something to do besides sitting at home. It'll beat having to listen to the other stay-at-home mothers gossip over tea."

"I think you should. You have the talent and ability to do it."

"You've told me that already. I don't know if it's true."

"You were and still are one of the brightest witches of our age, Lily."

"Are you trying to flatter me? She smiled. "Because it's working."

He smiled. "I only speak the truth. If you want to do it, then I think you should go for it."

"I am seriously considering it. I appreciate the support."

"You don't need my support in that."

"But it's nice to have it."

"I can't argue with you there."

Lily got up from the table. "I best go see what Harry is into."

"He's secure in the play pen and he's being quiet."

"Yes, and that's what worries me." She went into the living room to see what Harry was doing. Severus was glad she was finally considering doing something with her life. It wasn't that staying here was bad, but she did not seem content to do that forever. He figured it would be good for her.

_Early May 1982_

It was a warm, sunny day. Lily had begun to put shoes on Harry's feet when the phone rang. "I keep forgetting we have that blasted thing. I also keep forgetting that people use it." She sighed. "Sev, can you put Harry's shoes on while I answer the phone?"

Severus huffed quietly and nodded. She left for the kitchen. He got up from the couch and went over to Harry and began to put on one of the shoes.

"Me!" He said and grabbed at the shoes.

"You want to try and put on the shoes?" Harry nodded and Severus grumbled. "Fine then. Less work for me." He handed Harry the shoes and sat down, waiting for the kid to try and figure out how his shoes went on his feet. Sure enough, Harry got frustrated.

"Help!" He demanded.

"Help, please." Severus corrected. Someone had to teach the kid to ask for things nicely. He got up and helped Harry put on his shoes. Harry didn't fuss this time. Lily came back in.

"Some sort of silly survey." She said with a shake of her head. "Thanks for putting his shoes on for me. I'll take Harry outside so you can finish your work in peace. Besides, it's a beautiful day. I hope you'll take some time to enjoy it as well." She said to him and headed outside with Harry.

After he finished his last potion, he decided to go out and see what Lily was up to. When he went out, he saw Harry playing with a ball. Lily was fixing up the flower bed. He could tell she was casting spells over it to make it look better. She looked over at him after he came outside.

"Hey," She said with a smile. "Did you finish your work?"

"Yes."

Lily got up and sighed. "I need to go change Harry. I'll be back. Come on, Harry."

"No, Pay ball."

"You need to be changed. We'll come back out in a minute." She took a feisty Harry into the house.

Severus looked at the flowers Lily had planted and spruced up.

"How are you this afternoon?" Someone asked.

Severus looked up to see their next door neighbor waving. "Fine." Severus really did not like idle chit-chat. He wasn't the type for it.

"How's your wife?"

Severus felt confused a second and then wanted to smack his forehead. He meant Lily. Of course the neighbors assumed they were married. They had no reason to think otherwise.

"Oh, Lily, she's fine."

"That kid of yours is getting big. He's adorable. He looks just like you." His wife said.

Severus shook off his momentary shock and bit back a laugh. Harry looked like him, ha! He guessed she was referring to the black hair. That was the only similarity between them.

"Yes, he is getting big." What else could he say to that? Getting into the complexity of their situation was not something he felt like doing right now.

"Are you considering having anymore?"

How was he supposed to answer that? "Perhaps one day. Not any time soon though."

"She's a pretty girl and so sweet. You picked a good one, didn't you?" The woman said.

Severus smiled. This was question he didn't have to skirt around. "Yeah, she's beautiful." He answered and turned to see Lily coming out of the house with Harry. She came over to him.

"Afternoon, Mr. Macmillan. Mrs. Macmillan. How are you all this evening?"

"Good, just checking on the pets before we head out for the afternoon."

"I hope all your snakes are in their tanks."

"Yes, and I'm still not sure how she escaped that time. She's a beauty though, isn't she? She's a corn snake."

"Yeah, lovely." Lily answered.

"I'm sorry she ended up in your home and scared you like that a few weeks ago. She's harmless, really. My daughter lives in New York and got her for me as a birthday present a few years ago. She's not venomous, I promise."

"That's okay. At least she wasn't a wild snake."

The woman waved at Harry, who waved back. "He's so cute. I was just telling your husband that your son looks just like him."

Lily's mouth gaped in shock and it took her a moment to realize the woman was referring to Severus. She wanted to laugh at that idea and wished she had seen Severus's reaction to that statement when Gertrude had said that.

"Oh, well, yes, he does look like my husband." This was true since Harry did look like her late husband.

"Do you plan on having anymore?"

"Um, well." What could she say? "Perhaps one day. Not any time soon though."

Severus shook his head in shock. She had just given the woman his answer, word-for-word.

The lady laughed. "Well, at least you two are on the same page."

"What?" Lily was confused.

"Your husband said the exact same thing when I asked him."

Lily looked at Severus in surprise. He shrugged as if guilty. He looked a bit surprised as well.

"Well, we are heading into town. See you all." They got in their car and left. Severus and Lily both heard the woman speak to her husband as they got inside their vehicle.

"They are such a cute couple. You can see it in their eyes how much they like each other."

"Wait until they've been married to the same person for almost 40 years and he has to listen to her constant nagging over socks left on the floor."

"Well, if you would put them in the basket like I asked, I wouldn't have to nag." She said, shutting the vehicle door.

Severus and Lily looked at each other. "Imagine what they would say if they knew the truth, right?" She said with a curt laugh.

"Yeah, right? If they knew that we aren't together." He said and looked at her. She looked away, clearing her throat.

"Yea, what a silly thought, right?" Lily sighed to herself. "What exactly did you tell her? What was your answer?" She asked, trying to change the subject.

"The same as yours."

Her jaw dropped and she blushed. Now they were having some similar thoughts. She wondered if this was good or bad. She found herself unintentionally tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear and smiling at him. He looked at her and gave a half-smile. She could tell he seemed conflicted. Lily brushed at his shoulder, knocking off a small leaf that had landed on him. He gazed at her and she watched his expression as she touched him. A smile crept up on his face. He didn't seem to mind and appeared to be trying to hide his feelings.

_Oh, damn,_ she thought to herself. _Is he attracted to me? I really think he is attracted to me. He doesn't seem to mind my touch. But if he is attracted to me and I am attracted to him, then, sweet Merlin, we are both in trouble. We are just asking for this to get more serious. We are already in such an intimate setting. This isn't good. _

Lily's hand flew to her mouth as she realized she was all but flirting with him a little without thinking. This was her fault. She was leading him on. Maybe that was her intention. After all, she did like him. Still, she was leading him on without feeling ready for a relationship. Maybe she would never be fully ready after such a loss. At some point though, she'd have to let herself get close.

Dumbledore's words replayed in her mind. She was scared to get too close. She did fear falling in love again and losing it tragically. His situation was so dangerous. Could her heart take it? It had taken so much already. She sighed to herself. She knew Dumbledore was right, if nothing happened to him and she had refused to get close, she could lose her chance. Still, the timing didn't seem right. It was still too early, too soon.

Severus wondered what she was doing at first. It was almost as if she was trying to get his attention and not in the usual way. Was she flirting with him? Why on earth would she flirt with him? Maybe he was mistaken. He felt his heart begin to race as she brushed at his shoulder for some reason.

"You have a leaf on your shoulder." She said and even after she surely would have gotten the leaf off, she didn't remove her hand. _Oh, damn, what are you doing, Lily? Are you trying to tell me something or are you trying to make this situation even worse for me? I already like you._ He saw her hand fly up to her mouth in shock.

"What's wrong?" He asked, snapping himself out of his thoughts.

"Nothing, I, it, it's nothing." She turned away and cleared her throat. "I think I should go make some lunch."

He watched her walk away and then slowly followed her into the house. Inside the kitchen, Lily began to fix some lunch. Harry sat at the table, scribbling with a crayon. Severus set the table. Harry picked up his drawing. "Look, Dada."

Severus cringed inside. He really did not like being called that by Potter's kid. "Severus. Look, Severus." He corrected.

"I drawed." Harry said in excitement at his accomplishment. Severus only saw a mess of scribbles.

"Lovely." Severus said with slight sarcasm. Harry got off his chair.

"Look, Mama." Lily turned and smiled.

"It's beautiful.".

Harry smiled "I drawed."

"I see that." Lily turned back to the food.

Severus turned toward Lily and suddenly felt something grab his legs. He looked down. Harry let go. He grumbled to himself. The kid had grown a lot more affectionate lately. Lily said it was normal at his age to want to give affection. Severus did not particularly like it. A spawn of Potter should not have the desire to hug him. He should have the desire to hex him instead. That might come one day, especially since he would end up stuck with the kid at Hogwarts for seven years. Still, perhaps Harry would take after Lily. Severus could only hope.

_**A/N:** I start some tutoring this week and my first workshop, so I'm not so sure I'll be able to get chapter 24 up this week. And if you see errors/typos, don't hesitate to tell me. At times, my last edits don't take for whatever reason. Hopefully this is latest version. _

_Tomorrow marks the 10th Anniversary of the horrific terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. It's hard to believe it has already been 10 years. I still remember hearing about it at school. I was in science class at the time and the teacher turned on the news. I still remember seeing that second plane hit the second tower and in horror, watching the building catch fire in the explosion. Soon after that some parent complained that they were letting us watch the news and we had to turn it off. _

_As the other hijacked planes headed south, parents here freaked and began to pull their children out of school. They, for whatever reason, thought the hijackers were going to attack my hometown. Even then I thought that was silly. We lived in the middle of flippin' nowhere, why would they even bother? I understand the fear since no one knew what all was happening and we had some dangerous plants nearby, but still, we lived in the middle of nowhere. _

_On a happy note, someone in my family is celebrating a birthday tomorrow. Just thought I would add a little something to cheer people up. : ) _


	24. Chapter 24: Hidden Beneath the Surface

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **Scotty77, Sassymagpie, Musicalfan2012, Elfsquire90, Puelloa, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, HughSoSexy, Irinaa3, RavenclawBabe, Blazen, Gyoro and Ururun, BigBangTheory, Ujemaima Darkprince31, RedStalkingDeath, MarissaRosee, Gabrielle. Rickman. Snape, Jordina, Narutonarutolove, Bookivore **and **Shinywhiteboards **for the great reviews!_

_Bookivore: I assumed they chose Sirius as godfather because no one else they knew well was suitable. Peter was well, it's a good thing they did not chose him, right? Lupin's werewolf status would make ineligible. Lily's sister was...yeah. __In canon, both held a petty grudge to one another. I highly doubt either received an apology, but I tend to think that in this case, Sirius probably should have broken the ice with an apology first, since he's the one who, with James, would randomly pick on Severus. Of course, Severus could grow up as well, apologize regardless of whether he feels he needs to and state his intentions to end the childish feud. Apologizing is often a sign of strength IMHO, not weakness. I agree with you that he was capable of doing something extremely dangerous/foolish. _

_*You will learn more about James and Lily's relationship in this chapter. From my ideas anyway, which I think are realistic, just sayin'! ; )_

**Chapter 24: Hidden Beneath the Surface**

_Late May 1982_

Severus watched as Lily entered the kitchen and sat down across from him. He closed the book he was reading.

"Harry is down for his nap."

"So we get some quiet for awhile."

"Yes." She chuckled slightly. He couldn't help himself and smiled back. Her face fell soon after. "So, how did the Death Eater meeting go last night?"

"Nothing new really. He is having people search outside of Great Britain now. Don't worry, he still doesn't have any idea where we are."

He watched as she breathed a sigh of relief. His eyes fell from her eyes down to her chest, where her hair fell over her breasts. He felt his breathing constrict and he hoped his face wasn't blushing because his had felt himself flush. Lily saw him looking at her and when she looked up to meet his gaze, she saw his eyes avert away and his cheeks grow a little red.

Her stomach gave a flip, knowing in her heart he liked her as well and she suddenly felt a bit sick as the butterflies grew. It wasn't a bad feeling. She sighed to herself longingly. She still didn't feel ready to pursue him yet, but boy was it getting harder and harder. So many times she wanted to blurt it out and kiss him already. Lily found herself daydreaming a lot about him. He was a constant on her mind and if he only knew this, he would surely be surprised. Sometimes she imagined kissing him intimately, making him blush and leaving him speechless.

Severus noticed her looking at him, almost with longing. His heart pounded in his chest and rose into his head, making him feel slightly faint. He couldn't take it. He got up from the table and put his hand to his mouth, thinking. Lily watched him curiously. He felt himself growing hotter and grabbed at his collar.

"Sev?" Lily asked. Severus felt his heart pound in his head as he looked back at her. "Sev? Are you alright?"

He swallowed. _Damn, why did she have to wear those clothes? Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why did she have to be so sweet and caring? Why did she have to be so perfect to him? Dammit. _

_Coward. You were a coward in school. You should have made it known to her your true feelings. You shouldn't have let the stupid Slytherins stop you. You were a coward and you are still a coward. Tell her the truth. Tell her. Be honest with her. Tell her already._ He wrestled with his conscious, trying to convince himself she would not want to know how he felt about her.

"Sev? Is something wrong?"

He shut his eyes and let out a breath he was holding. "No." He managed to say. He opened his eyes and turned back to her. "Lily, I," He cracked his knuckles in nervousness. "I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"Lily, I haven't been honest with you. Really, I should have told you this a long time ago."

She watched him curiously. "What didn't you tell me?"

"I was a fool, Lily. I was a coward. I don't know what I was thinking back in school. I should have listened to you. I was too blind to see the forest for the trees. After we parted ways, I never forgot about you. You were always on the back of my mind. I'm sure you thought I just let go, but I never really did. I wanted to let go, especially when I saw you end up with Potter in our seventh year, but I never could. You were my first real friend and my only real friend to date. I let you go, assuming I could be something I never was. I let you go and I let our friendship end over something so stupid. I nearly got you killed over the same stupid thing. I never would have forgiven myself for that, if you had been killed, even if Pettigrew deserves most of the blame for selling you all out."

"Sev, please, you made some mistakes, but we all have. The point was that you realized it and worked to fix the mistake. You regretted it." Lily took a breath. "I never completely forgot about you either. We had some great times as children. How can I forget those times?"

She shut her eyes and sighed before opening them again. "I never really wanted our friendship to end either. I wanted to believe you wouldn't be them, that you would listen to me and realize the danger I saw ahead, even when you called others mudbloods." She saw him flinch at that word. "You said you would never say that to me. I believed you wouldn't call me that since you never had done so. Still, I didn't understand what me different. I guessed it was because I was your friend."

"When you said that me, I felt that you had gone into deep and you wouldn't me, the mudblood, as your friend anymore. When you tried to apologize, I wanted to believe you, I really did, but I couldn't. You had promised you'd never call me that, but you did. I didn't know you anymore. I thought you still might come around at some point and see they were wrong. At the start of sixth year, I honestly hoped to start fresh and I hoped deep down that you had seen your mistake with them, but I knew it was useless. You were still with Mulciber and the other creeps. Potter was still an ass who wouldn't take no for an answer. You were becoming a Death Eater wannabe and it scared me. I just stayed away from both of you that year."

"I assumed you didn't want to be friends anymore. You wouldn't even talk to me. I did try a few times, hoping to fix my mistake somehow, but you weren't receptive."

"I couldn't be friends with someone who wanted to be a part of something that wanted nothing more than people like me wiped off the face of the Earth."

"I never would have harmed you."

"I wanted to believe that. I did wonder what had happened to you, though. I did worry that he would kill you. I did assume you had forgotten about me, us, our friendship."

"You believe I could forget you?" He asked in surprise. "My life didn't turn out so great, but you seemed to do okay, marrying Potter and having a child, starting a family of your own."

Lily shrugged. "I guess."

Severus was a little shocked at her answer. Did she not think her life had turned out okay? Maybe she was thinking about how it hadn't lasted since they were only married three years before Potter's untimely death?

"I assume you weren't living at home?" She asked, changing the subject for the moment. She knew she couldn't avoid telling him the truth forever.

"I left home right after graduation and got the job at the apothecary in Diagon Alley. I decided to move into the house two years later when the old man kicked the bucket because I didn't really live in a good area in London anyway.

"You know what I did. I got pregnant and married right out of school. So my reputation isn't a good one, even though no one really knows why I married so fast. I'm not the only one who got married soon after graduating. I must seem like a tramp though, to have foolishly gotten myself pregnant."

"You are not a tramp."

"Well, thanks." She sighed again. Severus watched as her expression changed.

"I was desperate." She finally said, puzzling him.

"When James asked me to marry him, I said no at first because I was scared. I didn't know if I was ready for all this, for a marriage and family, but I finally accepted his proposal. I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to besides him. My parents were gone and I couldn't just barge in on my friends. They were ready to have their own lives, not be saddled with the girl who had stupidly gotten herself pregnant before even graduating. I couldn't get a job since people don't want to hire some pregnant girl knowing she'd have to quit soon. Petunia would refuse to help, probably call me a whore on top of being a freak, so I agreed to marry him. He could take care of me. No one else could."

Severus had never really thought about her as being desperate, but he began to imagine her situation and realized she really didn't have many options. He could imagine her parents being unhappy with the situation, but they would have helped her out if they had been alive.

"It wasn't that I didn't like James because I did. The first couple of months were okay, besides my whacked up hormones and whatnot. There was a lot tension after I lost the baby. We kept those issues quiet, but I feel I should tell you the truth. I trust you to keep it to yourself."

Severus nodded, but he was curious now. Tension between her and Potter? This was interesting.

"We were so young and grieved already. We didn't know how to handle it. We felt differently and he felt I should just move on, but I could not do so that easily. His parents were nice enough, but still, I was their daughter-in-law. They agreed to our marriage, but I think they were suspicious of it. I think they thought we had rushed things. I couldn't tell them that things were bad between us. Then they died and that just made everything worse."

Severus shook off his momentary shock. They didn't get along so great after all. "How bad was it?" He asked, curious since they were still together and Lily clearly missed James. Surely things hadn't been bad enough to cause a divorce.

"Really bad." She answered to his surprise. "Things got so bad between us that we actually separated for a short while."

She sighed and continued. "After his parents had died, James wanted to move us into a house of our own and he wanted me to quit the auror training. He said it was no longer needed since they had plenty of money. I didn't want to quit because it kept me busy. We argued about it. I ended up quitting, hoping it would smooth things over a little, but it didn't. We ended up together all the time. The tensions and issues only magnified. He didn't understand why I was so unhappy and thought I was just ungrateful. I thought he was being selfish and unreasonable. Soon after my birthday, we decided to call it quits."

"I figured you all were happily married." He said, still surprised to hear that they had actually separated.

"Like the fairy tales?" She laughed. "I don't think anyone gets that."

"Me either. I don't think any marriage is perfect."

"I'd agree with that." Lily sighed.

"What happened that made it so bad?"

She shrugged and let out a sigh. "We did get along alright after our separation, but before that, it seemed all we did was fight. Everything somehow turned into an argument and I mean everything. If I wanted to fix something for dinner, he would get mad and say the house-elf could do it and an argument would ensue. If he wanted to go out with Sirius and his buddies and I asked what time he would be back, it turned into an argument. I was miserable. I finally took a job and told him I wanted to leave. He was not happy, but in the end agreed that it was for the best, after lots of shouting of course. I packed my things and moved into a small apartment in London."

Lily found herself choking back tears at the memory. "I felt like such a failure. I sank into a bit of depression at that point. I had just turned 19 and I'd already lost so much. I had lost my parents and my sister was still jealous and would not speak to me. If she knew, she would have found some way to gloat on my misery. She'd probably tell me I deserved it so I didn't dare go to her. I'd also lost my apprenticeship because James had wanted me to quit, I'd already lost a pregnancy and now I was losing my marriage."

She paused to take a deep breath. Severus took her hand. She smiled at him.

"I had been so optimistic that things were going to be okay that when it wasn't, I didn't know what to do. I never expected marriage to be so hard. I'd hit a brick wall and was stuck without any support. Some of my old friends were glad we married and when I tried to say it was not as good as they thought it was; they wouldn't hear it. James and I were the perfect couple, how could it not be all roses? Others had warned me not to get into it so fast and they just had that `I told you so' attitude. It wasn't that they just brushed me off, but they didn't understand what I was going through. I didn't really know what to do next, expect maybe ask for a divorce, which was the last thing I ever wanted to do."

This was harder for Severus to take than he thought it would. They had an unhappy marriage for a time. He should be happy about that considering how much he hated James, but he felt terrible. He had never known how unhappy she was and it bothered him to know she had felt trapped and stuck in a situation without any help or support. He knew perfectly well how that felt.

"But you didn't end up divorcing. You ended up together again and had a baby."

"Yes. At first, James still acted the same and I was really considering a divorce. I actually looked up how to get a divorce in the wizard world. It's not easy, but at that point, I didn't want to go back. I did not want to be married to him anymore and I told him that. He was not happy. He was so used to getting what he wanted and this was not what he wanted. He did not understand that he had to think about someone besides himself. He had to consider some else's needs. I think he expected, I don't know really, but not what he got anyway. I was glad at that point that I was not going to have a child and force him or her into the mess that was our relationship."

"What changed?"

"James changed. After a couple weeks, he seemed to realize this was his fault and he was jerk. I can't say I didn't deserve at least little blame. Fights involve two people, after all, but he admitted he was stupid. I thought we still needed a little more time to cool down, but I think he realized that I was serious about never coming back. He did love me and he did care about me. In his own words, he said `I was right and my ego clearly hadn't been deflated enough.' I moved back in a short while later. I was a bit more pessimistic than he was about this working out. I expected it to go okay at first, but that we were going to end up right back where we started. We didn't though. We were fine. We argued occasionally, but it was nothing at all like it was before. We both just needed to take a step back and take a good, hard look at our reality. It seems crazy to say that the time apart worked to our benefit, but it did."

"It doesn't sound crazy. Everyone needs a break."

She nodded in agreement. "That fall, I got pregnant again and had Harry the following summer. I was worried at the beginning with all the stress and sleepless nights that things would go sour again. Not very Gryffindor-like to be so fearful, but I had to be concerned about Harry's well-being. Nothing happened though and we were fine. The marriage was going great. We had found a way to compromise on most things by that point."

"Then he died." Severus said, suddenly realizing that only two years after finally getting her life together, it was shattered again.

She nodded sadly. "Yes. The rug was once again pulled out from under me."

"Do you think your marriage would have succeeded if he hadn't died?" This question had been nagging him since she had said they marriage wasn't all that happy.

"I don't know, honestly. I want to say yes. I had hoped so. It was going fairly smooth up to his death, but we still had a few things neither of us could agree in. These were things we might have discussed beforehand if we didn't feel the need to have a shotgun wedding."

"Like what?"

"Like how he liked to go out with his buddies all the time and left me to care for Harry on my own. I mean, he did help some, but I felt that he wasn't quite as ready as he thought he was to settle down with a family. He loved Harry of course. He loved his son very much, but he tended to leave it all up to me no matter how tired I was. I just don't think he understood that I wanted his help. I didn't like constantly being compared to Maggie either. She was a sweet woman, but I wasn't his mother. I think James expected his wife to be more attentive to his wants and needs. By that I mean, waited on hand and foot. I think he was a bit pampered and mollycoddled by his parents in a way I never was, so he expected that sort of treatment from me too."

"We also argued a lot about the possibility of more children. James thought we should stop with Harry. I did not want to have an only child if I could help it. I really wanted at least one more at some point. I never really understood why he was not willing to have anymore or why it was so important to him to have Harry as an only child. This was a major issue with us."

Severus realized that if he ever did end up with Lily, he may end having a child with her. He sighed to himself. If she wanted a baby, then who was he to say no? He'd leave that decision up to her. It was her body after all. He hoped she wouldn't want more than one child, though. If they had one together, that would make two children in the house and that seemed like more than enough to him.

"I never knew you were so unhappy." He said, shaking off the thought of a horde of children running around the place.

"Well, it wasn't all unhappy. We were okay most of the time with each other. There were just those few issues we never could agree on. Nothing is ever as perfect as it seems on the outside."

"Never a truer statement."

"I did love him though. We loved each other, but sometimes I wonder if it's enough."

"It can be enough at times." Severus sighed.

"We kind of got off topic. I don't remember what brought this up."

"I was apologizing for my stupidity in school."

"You were not stupid, just young. I was no better."

Harry began to fuss, indicating that he was up from his nap, bringing to conversation to a sudden close. Lily went to get him. Severus decided to wait to tell her how he felt about her. Right now just wasn't the time. Soon, he would have to tell her. He could not keep it a secret forever.

_**A/N:** There's no mention of divorce or problem marriages except with Snape's parents in the books. I wanted to give a more realistic idea. It would seem completely naïve to think it was all peachy keen. _

_I could imagine that losing the baby would be a strain on them since that's why they married in the first place. I felt tension between them would be realistic. Of course, they were able to get past it, but I believe they would have been naïve to the realities of marriage and life and it would overwhelm them. They were what? 18/19 at the time and sorry to my young readers, but the majority of people that age tend to be cocky and think they know everything without any real life experience on their belt. *rolls eyes* I never said I wasn't the same in some ways at that age. ;) I think it's the whole `I'm an adult and can do whatever the hell I want now' thing along with thinking that they are invincible still. Not everyone is like that, I know. Some people, including myself, were forced to grow up a little faster than most. Life just has a way of really kicking you in the ass, especially when you expect things to go smooth and turn out so wonderful (when does anything in life ever just go nice and smooth ;) ). Maybe I am a bit pessimistic, but I have seen more than a couple people I have graduated high school with marry, have children and are already divorced. It is a reality. _

_In other words, please don't criticize me because you don't like that I didn't make James and Lily have this perfect marriage and perfect life together. I made it work out for them in the end, but I'm going for reality here, not book perfect. _


	25. Chapter 25: In the Heat of the Moment

_*Cleaning up my chapters, but this is not the newly edited version yet so may still have a few typos/errors._

_Thanks to **Tess4aria, Send-it-On, Musicalfan2012, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Irinaa3, Twichild369**, **Singingequestrian89, Alisonfaith297, AlgophobianSadist, Darkprince31, Zireael07, Gyoro and Ururun, Sassymagpie**, **Ujemaima, Jordina, DarkPhoenix-24, MarissaRosee, RedStalkingDeath**, **Illbeyouralways.** and **vAMPkIMI** for the kind reviews as always! _

_Tess4aria and Irinaa and others: There is more of Severus/Harry in this chapter. _

**Chapter 25: In the Heat of the Moment**

_Mid-June 1982_

"Okay, thank you." Lily told her neighbor and shut the front door. As she headed for the kitchen, she found Harry in the bathroom, covered in toilet paper. Lily turned to the lab and entered the room, clearly flustered. "I'm not your mother, you know? I shouldn't have to ask you more than once to do something so minuscule."

"Well, I should hope not." He said, confused.

"I'm tired of discussing this with you. If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times."

"What?"

Lily threw up her arms in exasperation and turned on her heel. She folded her arms and let out a huff of frustration. "All men are the same." She said, storming out of the lab and toward the bathroom.

Severus looked at her in confusion. He really had no idea what had set her off this time. Despite what she thought, he wasn't going to read her mind. Doing so would be invasive. If she wanted something, she had to tell him what the problem was. Lily always seemed to assume he should just know what was wrong with her. It was always something he had done, but half of the time he didn't know what the problem was because she wouldn't tell him.

"I've told you, Lily. I'm not going to invade your mind and read your thoughts. Unless I do that, I cannot read your mind. I may be a wizard, but I'm not superman."

Lily turned back and looked at him, her eyes narrowed in irritation.

"You don't really want me to penetrate your thoughts, do you?" He asked with a smile. She did not see it.

"You try and I swear-"

"Calm down, I was joking. I couldn't do that to you. You will have to tell what you want instead."

"I asked you to put a spell on the bathroom. You didn't do it. Now Harry is covered in toilet tissue!" She said, throwing her hands in the air.

"You are mad at me over Harry getting into the toilet tissue?"

He was a bit surprised, but he shouldn't be. These little things were what spun her in a tizzy sometimes. "Fine, I'll put the spell on the bathroom to keep Harry out."

"When? I asked you to do this already."

"You mentioned it as a possibility. You did tell me to do it."

Lily rolled her eyes in annoyance. Severus couldn't help it, he smirked at her frustration. He thought she was cute when she was worked up over nothing. Lily noticed his smile and assumed he was reveling in her unhappiness.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing."

"It's not funny. Harry has made a mess." Lily was not in the mood for this. "Forget it, I'll do it myself. I should have done it in the first place. I can't count on you for anything." She said in her aggravation and instantly regretted it.

Severus was taken aback. Couldn't be counted on for anything? "Really, is that so?" He spat out in his own frustration now.

"I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. I just don't want him stopping up the toilet with the tissue or god knows what else in there."

"Fine." He went into the bathroom, yanked the end of the toilet paper off of Harry and put a charm on the rest of the roll. Lily made a grab for Harry as he ran out the door.

"No, I need to get this stuff off of you. You even have toilet paper trailing from your shoe."

Severus looked over and suddenly got a flashback of the time when the Marauders had charmed toilet tissue to trail from his own shoe in third year. He clinched his fists.

"James shouldn't have done that to you." She stated, realizing instantly what he was thinking about.

"I'm over it." He lied.

"He was just pulling one of his stupid pranks as per usual." She said, remembering how irritating James and Sirius were in those days.

"No, he wasn't. He was trying to degrade me. That's what he did. It's what he always did."

"They did that stuff to other people too."

"I am well aware of that fact. However, I was their primary target. I wasn't as good as they were. I was not as well-off as they were." Before she could respond, he was heading out of the bathroom.

"I am done with this conversation!" He went into his lab, nearly slamming the door.

Lately, the tensions in the house had grown. Lily knew they were both just stressed out and on-edge because of the circumstances. Truthfully, they were both frustrated with themselves and the unspoken and increasing attraction to one another. Neither had confessed their feeling to the other yet. The implications of such a relationship also weighed heavy on both of their minds. A former Death Eater with a muggleborn? A Slytherin with a Gryffindor? They were defying the odds. Deep down, they liked the idea of being rebels this way.

Lily let out a breath. They didn't argue much, but she did not like the bantering. She did not like making him angry or upset. She wasn't thinking in her own frustration. It was only a suggestion to charm the bathroom until Harry was toilet-trained. Was it really a big deal? She was fighting with him like they were married. They had no real responsibility to each other and he had been great with helping her anytime she asked for it. He even helped her with Harry, though Harry was not his responsibility at all. She knew she was just frustrated with a lot of things at the moment. She had taken out her own stress on him over something trivial. This was her fault.

She opened the door to the lab. "Sev?"

"What?" He snapped.

"Fine." It was silent a second. "I'm sorry. She started to leave.

"Wait." She stopped and he swallowed his pride. "I'm sorry too."

"It was wrong of them. I hated it then and I don't like it any more now." There was a short, silent pause.

"They wanted to make me feel worthless. Prove that they were better people. They won in the end. They got nearly everything they wanted, even if wasn't all perfect."

"What did they win? They did not end up any better off."

"They both seem or seemed to be doing okay to me."

"They both inherited their fortunes if you are referring to money. You have worked hard to overcome the challenges of the hand you were dealt. They weren't any better than you. So what if you became a Death Eater? That's what most of your friends did. You realized it wasn't going to give you anything, that it was a mistake. That's important."

"A major mistake, you mean. I cannot get rid of my mark ever. It is permanently etched on my skin."

"So? I mean, I wish it could go away as well, but it is reminder of a danger that exists. I have my own scars from my mistakes too. It's just how it is."

"They still ended up better. They still got everything they had hoped for. Me, on the other hand, I have not gotten anything I had hoped for."

"What did you hope for?" She asked, curious. What did he think about his life? What had he wanted? What were his hopes for the future? He did not share these thought with her, but Lily knew he was not one to openly share such things. Her thoughts now included him and she often wondered if his future included her at all. She had a feeling it did, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"I don't know. More than what I got, but I guess that's to be expected." He turned to her and looked into her eyes. "I just hated that no matter what, they got everything. In the end, they were always winners."

"If you are about to call yourself a loser, I'm not going to agree with you."

"I may not be a loser, but I am far from a winner."

"Good. Neither am I. We are even. My life hasn't turned out so great either." Something buzzed. "My timer, I forgot. I was washing clothes." She left the room.

Severus turned back to his potion recipe, modifying it. _Even? No, she was much better than he was._

"Dada." Harry said, tugging Severus's pants. Severus looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. He was not going to convince this kid that he was not his father. It was everyday thing now. Harry looked up at the ceiling, clearly confused at what Severus was looking at.

"Up there?" Harry asked. The expression on Harry's face looked so much like Lily that Severus felt himself smile.

"Cute," Severus said. "But I'm still not your dad."

Harry got off his chair and pointed to the radio. "misik." He said.

"Music? Yes, it plays music."

"Misik." He said. "On."

"No, it's time for you to go to bed."

"Bed?"

"Yes, it's your bedtime."

"Nigh-nigh?" He asked.

"Yes, night-night." When did he start using words like that? "It's time for your bath."

"Bath. Jammies."

"Yes, you need to get a bath and get your pajamas on before you to sleep."

"Go nigh-nigh."

"Then you go to sleep, yes. Come on, let's go upstairs." Severus grabbed Harry and took him upstairs to draw up a bath.

Lily came up a few moments later. Harry was squeezing his rubber duck while Severus washed his hair.

"Duck."

"What do ducks say?" Lily asked, walking toward them. Severus turned to her with a smile.

"Cack."

"They quack. That's right." She knelt down beside Severus outside of the tub, taking over bathing Harry. Severus got up and headed out of the bathroom. He stopped outside of the doorway though and listened to her sing. She was singing to Harry a story about ducks. It didn't matter how silly the song was, he thought she had a beautiful voice.

Lily got Harry out of the tub and dried him off. "Let's go get on you jammies, okay?" She left the bathroom and headed into Harry's bedroom.

Severus went into his bedroom and sat down with a book. He did not notice Lily in the doorway a short while later.

"I'm sorry for blowing up at you earlier. I am just stressed out. I shouldn't have taken my own frustrations out on you."

"It's fine. We all do it."

"I think I might go so if there is anything interesting on the television. There's hardly ever anything appealing to watch though."

"I think the muggle invention is pointless."

"Maybe, but I guess it gives them something to do. It does take your mind off things."

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Yes. I just keep wondering when this war will end, that's all. It's hard to have to worry about being discovered, knowing we are in hiding and why we are doing this. I know we are okay right now, but how long can this last?"

"As long as we can make it last. Who knows we are staying together? Who knows where you are and will give away the position? We are fine right now."

"I hope so. I really do." She left and headed back downstairs.

"_Me too."_ He thought. "_M__e too_."

_Saturday 3 July 1982_

Lily set the table with a wave of her wand and Severus put a ladle in the soup to pour out. He looked around for the salt and did not see an old nail sticking out and scraped his hand against it. He grimaced in pain and grabbed his hand. His hand was bleeding. Lily looked up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just cut my hand, that's all."

"On what?"

"An old nail."

Lily got a wet rag and summoned a potion to her.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Let me see it."

"I'm fine. I can handle it."

"Just let me see your hand and don't argue with me."

"Fine." He said a bit annoyed, but let go. She took his hand.

"You cut it good." She took out a potion and squirted it on his hand. He tried not to flinch as it stung. She had given him a wound disinfectant, he knew that much. Lily wiped a wet rag over his wound, which did not make the wound feel better, before saying a spell.

"I could have handled it myself." He said, acting slightly irritated, though he wasn't really that annoyed. He watched as she wrapped his hand up.

She looked up at him and smiled. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Is it too tight?"

"No." He said. Severus noticed her smile and felt a surge of passion race through him as she stepped closer to him. He wanted to tell her right then how he felt about her. He wanted to pull her to him and kiss her lips. Damn, how he wanted her.

Lily noticed something in Severus's eyes. He was looking at her intently. She felt something race inside her. She wanted to tell him, but she couldn't. She did not want these feelings, but she couldn't stop them anymore. She wanted to grab him, pull him down to her and kiss him, telling him how she had fallen for him whether he wanted to hear it or not. Lily hated these thoughts about him, yet she loved them at the same time. She could not help herself. Damn, how she wanted him. She wanted every bit of him. She wanted him to have every bit of her, but she had to control herself. She was not ready for this yet, but it was killing her.

The two of them locked eyes and Lily noticed how close she was to him. She could feel her breathing suddenly constrict. Every bit of her wanted this, but a small voice told her not to get too close. She wasn't supposed to get this close. They were just supposed to help each other. Falling in love wasn't in the plan. Nothing ever goes according to plan. She reached out and pushed back the hair curtaining his face. To hell with not getting close, she wanted to get close. She leaned in closer.

Severus felt his heard pound in his chest and his stomach gave a flip. As she pushed back his hair, his stomach felt sick in a good way. He felt sick a lot lately around her. He noticed the faint, sweet smell of cinnamon as she neared. He wondered if her lips tasted the same. He had been trying to hold back his feelings for her; waiting for the moment she was ready to hear them. Right now seemed like a good time. He leaned closer. Before he could open his mouth to tell her anything, she spoke.

"Sev?" She swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I never meant for this to happen this way."

"For what to happen, Lily?"

"For-" Before she could finish her sentence, ready to spill all, a crash sounded from the next room.

They both stopped and turned around. "Harry!" Lily said and they both went into the living room. Harry was lying on the floor by the couch, a broken vase by his side.

Lily gasped and picked Harry up. "Are you okay?"

He wasn't crying, though he looked a little stunned. He did not seem hurt.

"He's fine. The vase isn't though." Severus cleaned up the mess while Lily looked for any cuts for scrapes on Harry.

"I should have been keeping a closer eye on him."

"He's fine. Come on, let's go have dinner."

She nodded and noticed out of the corner of eye, the flickering of a streetlamp turning on. In that light, she swore she saw someone move down the street. Lily peered out the window since the person seemed out of place in the neighborhood. As fast as she looked out, the person was gone. Severus came over and looked out.

"What is it?" Severus asked, curious as to what she was seeing outside.

"I thought I saw someone at the end of the road. It looked like a wizard, but I couldn't tell. Whoever it was is gone now." Lily backed away.

Severus looked out, but did not see anything except for two little boys being reprimanded by their mother across the street.

"It was nothing. Let's just go eat." He said, feeling a bit uneasy. Lily seemed nervous. "It'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Yes, I'm sure it is nothing." The three of them headed into the kitchen and sat down to eat. The rocky day and the mysterious person left a feeling of foreboding that could be shaken from either one of them.

_A/N: Took the title from the song "Heat of the Moment" by Asia. I heard it on the radio on my way home from campus a few days ago and had an aha moment. I hope this reads well. _


	26. Chapter 26: The Battle Begins

_Thanks to __**Tess4aria, Shinywhiteboards, Jordina, DarkPhoenix-24, BigBangTheory, HughSoSexy, BigBangTheory, vAMPkIMI, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, Bookworm1025, Slythador, Gyoro and Ururun, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Fallenmad, Harrylee94, Ujemaima**__ and __**TwiChild369 **__for the nice reviews. _

_Shiny: No need to apologize for that. I appreciate the review whenever. I'm about late reviewing, so I'd be one to talk. _

_Jordina: Dear lord, three boys? Poor Lily, lol. I have a friend who has a 17-month-old daughter and is expecting twin boys at the beginning of December. She is in a total panic at having three babies under the age of two. She wasn't trying to have anymore yet, but it happened anyway. _

_The argument wasn't really much of one. They weren't really mad at each other; they just took out their frustrations on the other person. It happens when you live with someone else. Sewers? Lol. Lily was not interrupting, she was revealing. She was going to tell him "For falling in love with you" but that did not happen. : ( I won't tell what happens next, but I will say that it isn't Dumbledore with his light thing. ;) _

_BigBang: Hey, in fiction and even fanfiction, anything is possible! But it isn't James from the dead. ;) _

_HughSoSexy: No one. Harry fell into the table knocked it off and broke it. ; )_

_Bookworm1025: I'm actually glad to hear that, thank you! _

_Smile: I personally don't consider Alan Rickman sexy, but maybe it has to do with him being almost old enough to be my grandfather. I think he's a great actor and he played a great Snape. Might I suggest Die Hard and Sense and Sensibility if you haven't seen them? He plays in those films as well. _

_Fallenmad: I will get there. Patience. ; )_

_Harrylee94: Very soon and thanks! _

_Twichild: We'll find out, but it wasn't Voldemort. _

_I have my reasons for getting them close, but not letting anything happen just yet. I'm not trying to torture you, really I'm not._

_*Apologies to BigBangTheory. I forget your name at the top of my thanks list! Sorry about that. :/ Note: If you reviewed during the last chapter and don't see your name, it was not on purpose so tell me and I'll add it. _

_*Whatever you do, don't panic. Thanks for reading and enjoy, I hope! _

**Chapter 26: The Battle Begins**

_4 July 1982_

It was a warm, sunny day. Severus didn't have to work since it was a Sunday. He and Lily were sitting outside in the backyard. Harry was running around the yard, playing with a ball. Birds sang their melodies to one another. One of the neighbors was mowing their lawn a couple houses down. Lily thought it was perfect day. Perhaps too perfect and it made her feel uneasy. She didn't know why she felt so anxious. She guessed it was the situation she had found herself in. She looked back at Harry, who was picking up his ball. He threw it and went after it, giggling. Lily looked over at Severus, who was making notes for a new potion for the apothecary. She smiled and set the drink in her hand down on the table. She took a deep breath. She was brave, she could do this. "Sev?"

Severus looked up from his book and over at Lily.

"I, well, we, need to talk."

He shut the book. "About what?"

"A lot of things, really." She wasn't even sure where to begin. "I've been thinking. I know it's crazy, but," She sighed. "I may as well just tell you. I tried to yesterday, but then Harry fell and we got side-tracked."

What on earth was she going to ask him? He wondered silently. He hoped it was something he wanted to hear.

"Sev," She sighed again. "I," She took another deep breath.

He was watching her. _She what?_

"I may as well just say it. Just don't freak out. I didn't know if I was ready to tell you before, but I think I am now-" The telephone rang from inside. She huffed. "I'll get it." She got up, slightly aggravated and went inside the house.

"Dammit." Severus muttered to himself. He felt his throat suddenly go dry as she came back out. He took a sip of his drink to wet his whistle. He mentally tried to prepare himself to speak if she was going to tell him what he thought she was going to tell him.

"Listen, Mrs. Miller needs a few things and asked if I would get them for her. I said I would, so I am going to go into town. I'm taking Harry as well, would you like to come?"

"No, I think I'll stay here. I need to work on some more potions."

"Okay." She turned to Harry. "Harry, come on. We are going to go shopping."

"Go out."

"Yes, we are going to run some errands. Come along." Harry came running to her.

Lily turned back to Severus. "Um,"

He looked up at her. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "We can finish our discussion later. I keep getting interrupted." He nodded.

"Okay, Harry, say good-bye to Severus."

"Bye-bye." Harry waved. She took him inside.

"Go find your shoes, please." She told Harry as she shut the door.

Severus let out a heavy breath. He decided he should go make some potions while she was gone.

Lily headed into town to get some groceries for the elderly woman who lived across from them. As she walked through town, she got the feeling she was being followed. She saw someone wearing wizard robes out of the corner of her eye. She turned to see if it was someone she knew, but they had disappeared. Panic hit her for a moment. She wondered if it was a Death Eater. Would they have recognized her?

"Come on, Harry, it's time for you to go down for a nap." She turned into an alley and disapparated.

"Calm down, Lily, why would a Death Eater be in a muggle town? Don't be silly." She told herself.

She walked toward Bennington Road feeling that she was being watched. She tried to brush it off, but she kept stopping to look around. No one was ever there. It was still daylight so no one could hide that easily, except a witch or wizard. Lily was very ill at ease as she headed to the house, looking around one last time for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing was out of place, not even the animals. She entered the house with Harry, shut the door and locked it back.

"How did the trip go?"

Lily jumped at the voice and put her hand to her heart, breathing hard. "It's just you."

"Who else would it be?" He looked at her curiously. She seemed nervous. He wondered what was wrong. "Did something happen?"

"No, not really. I just got a bad feeling that I was being watched."

"Did you see anyone?"

"No, well, maybe. I thought I saw someone in black wizard robes once, but when I turned, they were gone. I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman."

"Maybe it was a member of the Order looking out for you." He suggested, hoping to ease her mind, even if his own mind wasn't at ease.

"I don't know."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "I can't imagine how a Death Eater could find you."

"What if someone betrayed us again?"

"Who would do that?"

"I don't know. Maybe Mundungus? He's not exactly the most trustworthy person, though I can't imagine him betraying us."

"He's a petty thief who is greedy. Besides, he doesn't know where we live. Perhaps another one of the Marauders?"

"No, Remus would never do that. He has a kind heart. He'd never be a part of that crowd. Sirius wouldn't either, especially not after his brother all but martyred himself to help get rid of You-Know-Who. Both were deeply hurt by James's passing and both were completely ticked off at Pettigrew for betraying us like that. Don't forget that Sirius wanted to kill Peter after what he did."

"Yeah, but I can't think of anyone who would do that."

"Me either."

"We'll just have to lay low even more than we already are." A sudden burst of wind entered the house through the open kitchen window. Lily went to close it and looked outside.

"I think a storm is coming."

Severus came over and looked out the window. "I'll go make sure everything is put up outside."

"Okay. I'm going to go put Harry down for a nap."

He went out into backyard to gather up the furniture and Harry's toys. He looked up at the sky. The gray clouds were swarming in on the area. The swiftness of the clouds gave off an ominous feeling. He heard the man next door speaking to his wife about the sudden change in the weather.

Lily took Harry upstairs and put him in the crib. "Here soon I should get you a bed of your own. You are going to outgrow this crib before long." She whispered softly.

"No nap." He said. She gave him a kiss on his forehead.

"You need to take a nap. Close your eyes and go to sleep." She said, pointing down in the crib. Harry laid down, clutching his teddy bear. "That's my sweet boy." She reached over and gently brushed his hair back with her hand. "I love you." She exited the room and turned off the light, but left the door open.

Lily went back downstairs as Severus shut the back door. They met each other in the living room.

"I need to finish up my potions, so I'll be in the lab if you need anything."

"Okay. I think I will read some of the muggle literature the neighbors lent us."

He went into the lab and she sat down on the couch and began to read the _Odyssey_. She hadn't read the epic since childhood. Thunder rumbled overhead dangerously as she read. She was finding it hard to concentrate. Suddenly, the wind picked up outside and the lights inside began to flicker a few times. Lily was feeling more and more nervous and she didn't know why. It was only a thunderstorm. As she thought this, the lights burst out in the house one by one. This seemed other odd. She set her book down, got up and looked out the window. One by one, all the houses in the neighborhood went dark. She backed away from the window. The ominous feeling that something was going to happen was growing deeper. She was about to call for Severus when she heard the locks snap.

She backed away from the door, heading for the lab and then remembered that Harry was upstairs. She had to get to Harry and fast. Lily did not have time to get help. She was halfway across the living room when the door burst open. She gasped. Someone entered the house.

"Aww, is the widdle mudblood trying to hide?"

"Bellatrix." Lily gasped.

"Tried to run from us, did you? Too afraid to face us so you ran. Tried to hide your precious little half-blood." She mocked in disgust, looking around the place.

Lily made a grab for her wand. She realized she did not have it. It was on the table.

"Lost your wand? Accio!" Lily's wand came to Bellatrix.

Lily tried not to panic, though she was defenseless. "How did you find us?"

Bellatrix just smiled.

"I want to know dammit!" She demanded. "Who betrayed us?" Lily backed toward the stairs slowly, trying to figure out how to get her wand from Bellatrix and get to Harry without being intercepted.

"No one betrayed you." Her lip curled up slyly. "At least not intentionally."

Lily took felt her foot hit the edge of the stairs. Bellatrix realized Lily was trying to make a break for it and made her move. "Crucio!"

Lily found herself on her knees, withering in pain. She tried not to scream. It seemed like forever before the curse was lifted.

"You can't win this time. The game is over.""

"I outwitted your precious Dark Lord twice already. I can do it again." Lily snapped in disgust, getting up slowly, pain still surging through her body.

Bellatrix looked confused. Lily just smirked, knowing that none of the Death Eaters knew how close they were to discovering her once before.

"Crucio!" She shouted again to Lily.

Severus found himself plunged in darkness. He hadn't thought too much about it until he heard something akin to snapping in the next room. He had gotten up, deciding he should check on Lily, when he heard the front door burst open with great force. It was then he had panicked and ran for the door. His hand was on the handle when he heard a familiar voice. It was Bellatrix Lestrange.

Slowly, Severus opened the door. He entered the living room quietly and saw Bellatrix standing there with her wand.

"He can then kill your stupid baby!"

"You can't have him! You can't have my baby! I won't let either one of you near him, do you hear me?" Lily yelled in hysteria. Severus saw her getting up in pain. He realized she had been hit with the cruciatus at least once.

"It's too late. The Dark Lord is already on his way. He should be here any moment and this time, you won't be able to run. You won't be able to protect your son. I will do the honors of making sure you aren't in his way." Bellatrix pointed her wand at Lily. She started to panic and was ready to make a break for it up the stairs when she saw Severus step around the corner. His wand was out and he looked straight at her. He put his finger to his lips to indicate that he didn't want his presence known yet.

"Crucio!" Bellatrix yelled and Lily was once again on the ground. This time she found herself screaming a little in pain. Bellatrix lifted the curse off Lily. "Now for the kill."

Severus made his move. "Playing with your food again, Bellatrix?"

She turned to him. Severus looked at Lily and he wondered if they could all get out of this alive. There was no way Lily would let Voldemort near Harry and there was no way he was going to let anything happen to Lily. Not if he could help it.

"What are you doing here? Were you following me?"

"Follow you?" He asked in disgust. "I'd never stoop so low."

Bellatrix noticed his clothing. "What are doing wearing filthy muggle clothing?"

"I live in a muggle neighborhood. I prefer to blend in."

Bellatrix scoffed in disgust. "Filthy muggle lover."

Severus raised an eyebrow and gave her a conniving smile. Bellatrix stared at him coldly before turning back to Lily, who was trying to get up. "Useless half-blood. This is my fight. I'm the one who will get the credit!"

Severus found himself knocked back and realized she had used a nonverbal spell. Lily's found herself knocked backward as well, but was unable to move. Bellatrix aimed another curse at Lily, binding her in ropes. Severus forced himself up.

"I'm ready for this to be over with. Torturing you is just not much fun."

_What a sick excuse for fun! Sadist bitch! _Lily thought to herself.

"Your time is up." As Bellatrix aimed her wand at Lily, Severus aimed a curse at Bellatrix, who ducked out of the way just in time. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Get away from her!" Severus pointed his wand at Bellatrix. "I said get away from her!"

Bellatrix was clearly shocked that he was attempting to defend a mudblood. "I knew it." She dropped her wand from Lily's direction and turned to Severus. "I knew you were defending the mudblood all along. I told the Dark Lord not to trust you. I've never trusted you. I told him someone had betrayed him. It was you all along."

Severus lowered his wand a little and looked at Lily, who looked just as shocked as he did. "Who told you she was living with Death Eater?"

"I overheard that thief talking to one of those traitors of that hopeless Order Dumbledore made up. He said he couldn't believe Lily Potter was living in the same house with that Death Eater. I immediately told The Dark Lord that someone had betrayed him, but he thought that was nonsense. Wait until he hears that you have betrayed him."

Severus glared at her and aimed a curse in his anger. She sent one back. Both ducked out of the way of the oncoming curses.

"If I killed you both, the Dark Lord would be plenty pleased. The mudblood before the traitor. I want you to watch the light leave her eyes. I want you to see what happens to those defy us."

Severus panicked and turned to Lily, instantly removing the ropes and the totalus jinx. "Lily, run! Get Harry and go! I can handle it, just run!"

Lily attempted to stand up, but the crucio had harsh effects. She grabbed the rail and got herself upright, knowing Voldemort would arrive at any moment. Bellatrix saw her trying to make up the stairs and aimed her wand at Lily.

"Avada-" She started. Severus pointed his wand at the side of Bellatrix's throat, stopping her from finishing the killing curse in her surprise.

"Don't even think about!"

Lily managed a couple steps before stopping to catch her breath. She looked back.

Bellatrix scoffed at Severus. "I don't take orders from traitors." She aimed at Lily again, but Severus stepped in front of Lily.

"I said not to touch her!"

"Move aside, she's worthless."

"Not to me. I won't let you touch her."

"She is a useless piece of filth and only serves to stand in the way of the Dark Lord, so move your sorry ass." He was not going to move out of the way. Severus knew what was coming and he prepared himself. He would have to do this and he hoped Lily would understand. He had to protect Lily and if he died trying, then so be it. He did not fear death. Bellatrix rose her wand to Lily and he waited for the moment to strike. He held his wand out. She smirked back at him.

"Avada Kedavra!" They both shouted, his slightly delayed to hers. Severus only hoped that his curse would reach Bellatrix before she could harm Lily. He knew this would be the end of him. His aim for giving the curse was to avenge Lily and allow her time to get her wand and get herself and Harry out of the house. It would be his final act for her, for both of them, he told himself. Allow her the chance to escape the country perhaps.

The curses hit one another dead on and ricocheted. Severus stepped in front of Lily as Bellatrix's curse headed for her and the curse hit his arm.

"Sev, no!" Lily shouted, realizing he what he was doing.

He felt himself being thrown backward and everything went dark. The curse missed Bellatrix by a centimeter.

Lily bit back a scream as he was thrown back. _No_, she thought. _No, why did he do that? What was he thinking? Why would he do that? She did not want him to die this way, for a curse meant for her. _In Bellatrix's attempt to avoid the curse, Lily's wand had fallen out of her robes. She took the chance and summoned it to her.

"I killed the traitor! The Dark Lord will be pleased! I killed Severus Snape!" She said, laughing maniacally.

Lily felt anger surge rush through her. She aimed her wand and yelled a curse. Bellatrix was unable to miss this one and was stunned. Lily felt tears sting her eyes as she looked over at Severus's limp body. She would have to grieve later. She had to get out of here. She knew his final acts had been an attempt to save her and she had to try and get Harry out.

Lily fumbled up the stairs. Every step she took was torture, pain surging through her entire body from the triple crucio. She was nearly to the top when someone entered the house. She kept going, trying to hurry. Once upstairs, she heard footsteps ascending the steps.

"Going somewhere?" A cold, dangerous voice asked as she got to Harry's doorway. Lily turned and came face-to-face with the person she dreaded most. She had no idea how she was going to make it out of this alive.

**A/N:** _Don't panic just yet. It's not over until it's over._

_Had this nearly completed yesterday and finished it today. It will be a busy week, so I wanted to go ahead and get it up. Next two chapters are in the works. Maybe this weekend? _

_Also, I hope I did okay with Bellatrix. She was such an odd, sadistic character. She was a complete psychopath. No other way to say it. Those are the hardest characters for me to write. Doesn't mean I can't write them, but they are difficult. I tend to not delve into their psyche since I just can't think that way. I am an empathic person by nature. Cold, cruel and ruthless aren't my forte. I feel bad about killing spiders, lol. I tried though. Don't jump down my throat. ; ) I assumed there was not much to Bellatrix and that her goal was to torture Lily and kill Lily so Voldemort would be free to get rid of Harry. _


	27. Chapter 27: Amor Vincit Omnia

_Thanks to __**Bookworm1025, Watcher of the Hearts, Send-it-On, Annabeth Volturi, Smile-thebestthingintheworld,**__**VerySmallProphet,**__**vAMPkIMI, IndianaBliss, Twichild369, Musicalfan2012, HughSoSexy, Honoo Moeru, Harrylee94, Gyoro and Ururun,**__**Reader123, Ujemaima,**__**I'llbeyourALWAYS, Darkprince31, Narutonarutolov,**__**MarissaRosee**__, __**HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome**__ and __**Shiroi Mesa**__ for the great reviews. _

_Senditon: They did not have a bunch of wards, but they had a couple of charms on the house. I will explain later how they broke. : )_

_Smile: Die Hard is a bit brutal imo. Those were just the two films that popped out that he played in. I know people who like Rickman as Snape, but they have never seen any of his other films and that's why I suggested them. I'm not real sure. I am still debating if I will split this up into two stories or make it one really long one. My original plans were to go the end of Harry's Hogwarts years. _

_VerySmallProphet: Severus was being a Slytherin, cunning the entire time. I did not share most of his thoughts last chapter. What he was thinking will be shown a this chapter. _

_Honoo Moeru: Does CPR work on AK victims? Never thought about. My guess is no since they are (usually) dead upon impact. It's not that they just stopped breathing._

_Harrylee94: Cliff hangers. I have to admit that I like reading them and as such I like to write them. _

_Shiroi Mesa: Hey now, your procrastination isn't my fault. ;) I debated this myself, but decided that no, she would not have any real reason to believe they had been found. I imagine that one or two higher up Order members keep tabs on them from time to time, so she believes it was just them since there has not been an indication that any Death Eater would know where she was living. Their home was supposed to be protected as well. What happened? I will tell in the next chapter. Btw, I owe you a high five for such a close guess. It wasn't a competition or anything, but you were nearly spot on._

_Sorry about the major cliffhanger and to do that to my readers, but there was things I just couldn't say yet. I spent awhile coming up with how I wanted this played out and thought of many ways to do these scenes. In the end, I chose this way. It's not quite Rowling's way, but the intentions are similar nonetheless. Personally, her way confused me at times, though I got the gist of it. I hope I don't confuse anyone here. It gets a bit complicated at times. _

**Chapter 27: Amor Vincit Omnia. **

Severus opened his eyes. He realized he wasn't dead within seconds because dead people shouldn't feel pain. A wave of nausea hit him as he noticed his left arm was throbbing. He grabbed it painfully and looked down. It took him a moment to realize the curse had hit his dark mark. He could hardly recognize it. His arm was covered in blood and bruising was already occurring. Severus rolled over slowly and got to his feet. He body revolted as he did so. Surviving the Avada Kedavra was worse than the crucio. He guessed that's why it normally killed its victims. At least the curse had more humanity than its giver. He took a deep breath, still trying to realize that he was alive. What had happened and how had he survived the curse? It had hit him. He had felt it hit his arm moments before.

He looked around the room. Severus wondered about Lily and Harry and if they were okay. Bellatrix was still stunned. If she awoke, he knew and was prepared for the fact that he might have to kill her. He took her wand and was about to obliterate her recent memories when he heard shouts from upstairs.

"Move aside!"

"No, please, don't do this. He's just a baby."

Severus panicked. Lily hadn't escaped the house and someone else was here too. Severus knew exactly who that someone was too. He got out his wand and started up the stairs quietly, but swiftly, his body still aching and his arm still throbbing terribly.

"No, take me instead, please!" Lily begged, standing in the doorway to Harry's bedroom.

"Stand aside!"

"No, don't, please! Take me instead! I have lived long enough. He hasn't. He's only a baby."

Severus was nearing the top of the stairs when he heard it. "Avada Kedavra!"

Lily felt the force of the curse hit her. She expected to die. She found herself thrown backward and waited for death to come. It didn't come. She fell and hit her head hard against the wall. Her head burst with pain just before she lost consciousness. Voldemort was thrown backward as well. Severus stepped back out of sight on the stairs, hoping against hope his sacrifice had worked and that she was not dead. He saw Voldemort pick himself up in anger, though Severus noticed he looked terribly weak. Voldemort made his way to Harry's room, clearly not losing focus on his goal. Severus's feet hit the landing. His wand was out, but it was too late.

"Avada Kedavra!" He shouted again.

Severus nearly panicked. The Dark Lord had killed Lily's child. If she survived this, she was going to be completely devastated. Maybe her sacrifice would stop him from being able to kill Harry. What happened next shocked Severus. Voldemort was thrown backward, his eyes rolled back in his head and he turned into some sort of foul looking creature before vanishing into thin air. Severus took a step back and looked at Lily's limp body. Had the curse failed? She appeared to be dead. She could not be dead. He had attempted to die for her. Did it not work if you didn't actually die in the process? For the first time in a very long time, Severus felt a lump in his throat and tears stung his eyes. Severus turned his attention to Harry, who he figured might also be dead. He wondered now why had he survived? He would rather have just died if this was the result.

When he entered the doorway, he saw Harry looking over his crib in confusion. Severus laughed in shock. Harry had survived. But if he was alive, certainly Lily was too. She had to be. He stepped into the room. The lights flicked back on. The ominous atmosphere had disappeared outside and the sun was now shining, though a dark atmosphere still seemed to hang over the house.

Harry was trying to get out of his crib. "Wan out!" Harry turned to Severus and smiled. "Dada." For the first time, Severus no longer cared that Harry called him that. Somehow, the child was alive and somehow he had been able to defeat the Dark Lord, just like the prophecy said. He lifted Harry out of the crib and left the room. He set Harry down by Lily and kneeled next to her.

"Mama." Harry said.

Severus lifted Lily's head up, her body was limp. _It was still warm_, he thought. _She had to be alive_. He was supposed to have saved her. Severus fought back the tears that threatened to spill out. He grabbed Lily's hand to check her pulse and felt something softly thump in her wrist. He caught a sob in his throat as he looked at her chest. Her heart was still beating and she was clearly breathing. He let the tears in his eyes fall as relief washed over him. She was alive. It had worked after all. Somehow they had all been hit with the killing curse and lived to tell about it. He had no idea why he personally had managed to live, but it didn't matter. They were all alive.

Severus took out his wand and waved it over her head. She had taken a knock to the head. Severus felt Harry touch his arm. Severus hissed in pain.

"Owie."

"Yes, I got cut. Let's try to get your mother awake." Severus said a short spell, hoping to help her gain consciousness. It worked. She slowly opened her eyes.

"Mama!" Harry said.

Lily looked over at him. "Harry, you're alive, but how-"

"Voldemort's gone. Something happened when he went after Harry. It was rather strange, really. He turned into a small, unfortunate looking humanoid and disappeared."

"Sev? But you, I saw-"

"I'm alive, yes. No, I have no idea how or why."

"But I was hit with the curse. Why didn't I die?"

"Because I died first." Severus answered nonchalantly. How could he tell her what he had knowingly done?

Lily looked up at him, clearly trying to think. "Why would that matter?"

"It matters."

"You mean if a man dies first, the woman is saved?"

"No."

"If someone dies first, another is saved? That doesn't make any sense."

"You are getting warmer."

Lily sat up, the hall spun a little. Her head was pounding. "Dear god," She grabbed her head and shut her eyes.

"I guess that knock to the head was a hard one." Lily grabbed Harry once her vision focused better and held him tight in her arms. She gave him several kisses, tears streaming down her face.

"We are all okay. It's over."

"It's over. He's gone. We are safe now." He said, getting back to his feet. He put his hand out to her. She let go of Harry and took his hand. He helped her to her feet. She threw her arms around him. He was taken aback. She let go.

She looked into his eyes and was in complete shock when she saw his black eyes were glassy and wet. She hadn't seen him cry since they were children. "Sev? What wrong? You have tears in your eyes."

He looked into her eyes and reality pierced him. She was okay. They were all alive somehow. He didn't know what to say to her. "Lily." Was all he could say, choking on any other word he tried to get out. She was alive. He was alive. Harry was alive. Voldemort was gone. He was an unemotional person in general, but so many emotions ran through him right then. Everyone else's survival made sense. His own did not.

Lily touched his face, her head still pounded from the hit. "I don't understand what happened, but you are okay." She choked out in sobs. "I thought you were dead."

He reached out and pushed her hair back, rubbing the tears off of her face, getting himself together. "Lily, I should tell you"

She put her finger to his lips, leaning dangerous close to him. "Don't. I know."

"You know?" He asked confused.

"You nearly died trying to protect me."

"You could say that."

Lily looked at him and slightly frowned. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I did it."

"Did what?"

"I had to do it, to save you."

"What do you mean?"

"They know."

"Who?"

"I saw Peter at the door when I was about to enter the living room earlier. I was going to kill him, but he turned into a rat. He disappeared, but he saw me. I wasn't going to survive. I couldn't strike at one of them without the other noticing and calling for the others. That's what they would do. They don't go alone and are on the alert to get others involved if necessary. I couldn't risk it so I did the only thing I could do. I had to save you and Harry. I did believe that I would die today, no matter I did, I was marked for death at that moment."

Lily looked away. "You did it on purpose? You knew that if you could sacrifice yourself for me and I would be protected?"

"I did know."

She suddenly took it all in and let out a sob. "You sacrificed yourself to save us?"

"Well, I tried. It was the only thing I could do. Any other way would have brought death to all of us."

"You didn't have to do that." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke.

"I had to do it. It was better than being attacked by angry Death Eaters. I'm a traitor, remember? Or if Voldemort got his hands on me first, it would have been worse."

"But how could you see Peter?" She asked, suddenly remembering Pettigrew was supposed to be in Azkaban."

"He showed up at the last Death Eater meeting and I knew he was escaping and getting back in somehow. When I saw him in person outside the door, I knew he had been working to find you. I pointed my wand at him, ready to kill him, but he turned into a rat and scurried off too fast. I knew it was too late anyway. I was caught. I could tell that he knew the truth already."

"But how is that possible?"

"I'm not sure, but my guess is that he had some help getting out."

"Do you think Peter will tell them? Will the other Death Eaters find out shortly?"

"They might, yes. Once they realize the Dark Lord is gone."

"Do you think they will attack?"

"Maybe, but I doubt it. We are supposed to be dead, remember?"

Lily gave him a small smile before frowning again. "Why didn't the charms keep them out though?"

"They broke them somehow."

"But how? Who could have given them the counters?"

"I'm not sure. I can't even figure out how I survived, let alone how they managed to break the charms."

Lily huffed, thinking for a moment. "We need to get out of here, don't we?"

"We are okay right now."

"But Bellatrix is-"

"Still stunned." Severus pulled out a wand. "And currently without a wand. I'll go obliviate her memories shortly. She won't remember these past couple days."

"Will that help?"

"For now it will. If she tries to strike, I will strike back."

"What about Pettigrew?"

"Let's hope we don't see him, because I will have to kill him."

"Sev, what about-"

"Forget it. He has to die. Our lives are at stake at present. This is his second betrayal. His chance is blown."

"But you could end up in prison."

"Maybe I should just give him to the dementors with the knowledge of his escape. Marked for the kiss perhaps?"

"I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it, but the sucking of one's soul seems so cruel. Maybe death will be better?"

"For that bastard, Death isn't enough."

Lily sighed. "So, the bastard has betrayed us again. You decided to sacrifice yourself for us. But how can sacrificing yourself save others?"

"It is ancient magic, old magic."

"Old magic?"

"Ancient magic. As old as the Earth, if not longer." He said, shaking inside. He was going to have to reveal to her how he felt about her.

"Sev, my head is pounding. I can't think right now, just tell me."

He smiled. "Amor vincit omnia." He said, trying to mask his nerves.

"Love conquers all?" She asked. It hit her instantly what he was saying. "Love is what saves the other person?"

He did not answer at first. "If it is strong enough, genuine enough, it can conquer evil."

Lily looked up at him, her heart racing. This meant he did love her. He loved her enough to sacrifice himself to save her and Harry. He had done that for them, for her. She burst into tears.

"Sev, I-" She choked. She was too emotional for this right now and could not speak. He watched her, unsure what she was feeling until he felt her grab his shirt and pull him toward her. He looked into her emerald eyes and his heart began to race even faster. Dammit, what was she doing? She definitely smelled like cinnamon. Lily could smell the peppermint on his breath. She made her move, unable to hold back any longer, and touched her lips to his. He felt her lips touch his and his entire cool was shattered at that moment. He embraced her, pulling her closer, his lips locked against hers. Lily ran her hands over his back. Their lips part for a moment. Lily caught her breath. To hell with forbidden relationships, she did not care anymore. Neither did he. He was no longer going to refuse her for the sake of power. He wanted her. Nothing else mattered. They found themselves with locked lips once again. Tears streamed down Lily's face. He let go.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She wiped away her tears. "I just can't believe you are okay and this is really happening. I never meant for it to happen. I never meant to fall in love with you, but I did anyway."

"Do you regret doing so?"

"Not at all." She kissed his lips again. "You do taste like peppermint." Before they could go any further, a crack from downstairs startled them. Severus and Lily broke apart and whipped out their wands. Lily grabbed Harry, who was playing with a toy truck on the floor.

"No." Harry said, wanting to continue playing with his toy.

"Shh, we have to be quiet, okay?" She put her finger to her lips. Harry mimicked. "That's my sweet boy."

Lily and Severus waited with bated breath, expecting to either fight or apparate out of the house fast. It was unspoken that they wouldn't leave the other there. Lily grabbed Severus's hand. He squeezed it back to reassure her. If they had survived the Avada, they could survive anything.

"Lily! Lily, where are you? Harry!" Someone shouted. It was Sirius. Even Severus felt relief to know it was Black. It was probably the first time in his life he was happy to hear Black's voice.

Sirius went up a few steps and saw Lily and Harry once he reached the landing. He let out a sigh of relief and came running. "Oh, thank god, thank god!" He picked up Harry and gave Lily a hug. "You are okay. I thought it was the end. What happened? How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Defeat You-Know-Who? He's gone."

"Oh, um, we just did." Lily said and sent a smile at Severus. He gave her one back. Sirius frowned at the way Lily was looking at Severus. Noise suddenly erupted from downstairs.

"It's Aurors and Order members. They are rounding up Death Eaters as we speak. I found Pettigrew." Sirius said, clearly excited at his accomplishment. "He was hiding behind a dumpster nearby. I knew it was him instantly. Aurors captured him. He must have had some help escaping. He's not intelligent enough to do it on his own."

"Good. What about Bellatrix? She knows about us. Our living situation, that is." Lily looked away from Sirius, clearing her throat and tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"They are getting her now. She was stupefied."

"By Lily." Severus said.

Lily nodded. She could not keep from smiling. That's when she noticed Severus's arm. "Sev, your arm." She grabbed it. "She hit your Dark Mark. The curse ruptured it terribly."

"Yes, easy." He said with a hiss of pain at her touch.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, it's just very painful right now."

"Your mark is gone. It's what you wanted."

Severus smiled at her. "I did say that a few weeks ago, didn't I?"

She nodded, trying not to blush.

"Let's go downstairs." Sirius said and started down with Harry. They followed. Half way down, Lily felt her head begin to pound and felt pains hit her upper chest. Nausea hit her. She grabbed her head with one hand and her chest with the other. She willed herself not to vomit.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked, concerned.

"I don't feel so good. It's my head and my chest. My chest is throbbing for some reason."

"It was probably the knock to the head." He said, trying to reassure her that she was going to be okay. He put his arm around her shoulders and helped her down the steps. She sat on the couch. Harry climbed up and sat beside her. Lily brushed his hair back and gasped.

"Sev! Look at his forehead!"

Severus went over and pushed aside Harry's hair. It was then he noticed a thunderbolt shaped scar on the toddler's forehead. Neither he nor Lily knew everything, but they instantly realized that the scar was no ordinary scar. This was not looking good.

_**A/N:**_

_Okay, I'm going to try and explain again, hopefully better now that I'm not so tired. During the last DE meeting, Severus saw Pettigrew and knew that for some reason Peter was escaping, but was going back into prison. He knew he had help, but he did not know why Peter was doing this until the afternoon of July 4. When Severus came out of his lab, he saw Peter in their doorway in person. He knew that Peter knew the truth regarding the two of them living together. I have not explained everything regarding this. Severus aimed to kill Peter, thinking that if he could strike quickly, he would not have to worry about him spilling the beans so to speak. Peter knew what Severus was going to do and turned himself into a rat and scurried off. Severus knew if he tried to go after Peter, Bellatrix would be alerted to his presence and not only try to kill him, but would alert others because he had a strong feeling Bellatrix and Peter would have others on alert and send out a call. If they did this, a few other DE's would descend on the house and Severus and Lily would have to try to fight them. In the process, one or both of them could die, giving Voldemort free reign to kill Harry. None of them would have survived and Voldemort would win. Severus did not want that so he chose at that moment to sacrifice himself. His goal was step in front of Lily when the curse was aimed at her. He knew that Bellatrix would kill her to remove the one thing that stood in the Dark Lord's way of Harry. When Bellatrix tried to kill Lily, he was going to strike back with his own Avada to destroy her. He knew that stepping in the line of fire would protect Lily from harm and hopefully give her the chance to get Harry and get out of the house. He did not care about himself, only about her (and Harry)._

_When Severus aimed to kill Bellatrix, their curses collided, dulling their power. I believe that curses and such know the giver's intentions and as such, his sacrificial dealings weakened Bellatrix's curse. When the Avada hit him, he hit his arm, his Dark Mark. The Dark Mark is a power in and of itself, an evil power. The Avada is also an evil. Because of this, he curse was contained in the mark and caused it to rupture. He no longer has his Dark Mark, just a scar will be left. The impact of the curse knocked him unconscious (probably from the pain). While a little bit of the curse did enter his body, it did not do any real harm (though his body was in some pain). Severus did protect Lily from his sacrifice and as such, when Voldemort tried to kill her, she was not killed. She only ended up unconscious because she took a hard knock to her head. Voldemort was not killed, but he was weakened with no real concept of why. He still believed Lily had died and did not bother to check because he wanted to get to Harry. Because of both Severus and Lily's attempted sacrifices, Harry could not be touched. Voldemort's curse backfired on himself, nearly destroying him. He is only barely alive because his horcruxes. Lily now knows somewhat Severus did for her and I think she now quite smitten. ; ) I hope this makes more sense now. Long, but thorough._

_I had to work on a paper before finishing this. School does come first. Back to studying mi Espanol. I have a test on Thursday. I procrastinated long enough. You'll have to wait a few more days for the next chapter. _


	28. Chapter 28: Freedom

_Thanks to __**8thWeasleykid, Musicalfan2012, IndianaBliss, Watcher of the Hearts, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, HughSoSexy, Twichild369, Harrylee94, Ravenclawbabe, Gyoro and Ururun, Reader123, Darkprince31, Tess4aria, MarissaRosee, Sassymagpie, vAMPkIMI, Sab756, Ujemaima, **__**Jordina, xLoveChuuChuuTrainx, Shinywhiteboards **__and __**Breakawaymagic **__for the kind reviews as always! I appreciate all of them. : D_

_IndianaBliss and curious others: Yes, his mark is gone. There will only be a scar now. This means that yes; he will not be able to work as a spy when Voldemort returns. I decided that it would better this way._

_WatcheroftheHearts: I don't know if it was the best, but thank you. I tried to make it good. _

_Harrylee: *smiles* At least I'm not the only one who likes cliffhangers. _

_Jordina: Lily under disguise, yes. I did consider it, but then again, why would she need one in a small muggle town? Since Death Eaters do not like muggles, the likelihood of encountering one is quite slim. Wandless magic, something else I thought about already too. I originally had her try, but was unable to retrieve her wand. I took those lines out because they just did not flow well and seemed too stuck in. You can imagine she tried it, but Bellatrix would be have been prepared for that and blocked that ability anyway. _

_Yes, you are correct, that is exactly what happened, though I think you meant Harry __**didn't **__die in canon because of Lily's sacrifice. ;) Pure luck, fate, whatever you want to call it saved Severus's life. As for being a genius, I actually don't know my IQ. I would guess it to be average. Now my little brother is one (literally). His IQ puts him in the superior intellect to genius category. The kid is good at everything too. He picks up everything so easily. Makes me sick sometimes. ;) Yes, he still has her wand, doesn't he? What to do with it? The family who lived? Well, sort of, but they aren't exactly married and Harry isn't Severus's son or even his step-son. But they are certainly newsworthy and that could be an issue._

_Shiny: No need to apologize. I do understand. I am actually surprised that my school has been so…smooth. It's been fairly easy, which is not normal. Usually I am overwhelmed by now, wondering why on earth did I want school to start again. ;) Good luck to you though. I hope it smoothes out as the year progresses. And yes, Amor Vincit Omnia, Love Conquers All. Indeed it did. Even death. _

_Congratulations __**breakawaymagic**__, you were my __**400**__**th**__** reviewer**__. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers for helping me get so many reviews! I lost track of my 300__th__ reviewer, but whoever it was, thank you too!_

**Chapter 28: Freedom **

"_Freedom means you are unobstructed in living your life as you choose. Anything less is a form of slavery." ~Dr. Wayne Dyer_

Severus sat down next to Lily and put a bag of ice wrapped in a cloth to the back of her head. "Are you going to be okay? You don't look like you feel well."

"I'll be fine. It's just my headache." She said, trying to breath out her nausea.

"It appears to be just a mild concussion. No damage."

"Mild to the spell, but painful for me."

He smirked. "You sure you don't need anything? Maybe a cold drink?"

"I'm alright, but thanks." She smiled at him and touched her upper chest. It still hurt a bit where the curse had hit her.

"What's wrong?" He asked, watching her grab at her chest.

"Nothing really. It just hurts." She pointed to the small pea-sized hole in her shirt.

"Was that where the curse hit?"

She nodded. "It's just burning." She pulled down her blouse a little to reveal any injury and saw a large mark on her chest. It looked like a second degree burn mark.

"That doesn't look good."

"Do you think any regular potion or cream can help our marks? I'm really surprised I have a mark at all. I thought the killing curse left no marks? Even more odd is that my blouse has only a pea sized hole, but the mark is much larger."

"I have no idea. I've never known anyone to really survive the killing curse and somehow the three of us managed to do just that."

"Yes, we did." She said. "I wonder if it has to do with him being weakened when he struck me with the curse."

"Maybe. Harry's scar concerns me though. The thunderbolt is a symbol of power."

Sirius re-entered the house. "What are you doing?" He asked Lily, looking over at them.

Lily saw him looking over at her open blouse and pulled it up quickly. "Don't look down my shirt!"

"I was not looking down your shirt. Why would you think I'd do that?" Sirius asked in shock.

"Because you've always done things like that."

"You can't say you've never let anyone look down your shirt. You let Severus look down your shirt. You will make him horny that way?"

Severus glared at Black. "She wasn't flashing her breasts at me, you idiot, she was showing me her injury."

"My goal was to see what you two were doing, not look down her shirt." Sirius spat, looking daggers at Severus.

"Your goal is to be a piranha. You want to devour any adult female you can get your hands on and I doubt Lily is excluded from your list."

"Hey, I do not go after the ladies, they come to me and I know you wanted to look. She was all but giving you an open invitation."

"Don't pretend to know what I think, Black. You don't have the mental capacity to do so."

"Oh, give it a rest and just admit you want to shag her."

"Well, if he wants to sleep with me, he's not blunt about it so get over it." She interjected before Severus could spit something harsh back. She did not want to listen to this right now.

"That doesn't disgust you to think that he would want to get you to bed?" Sirius asked, looking rather disgusted at the thought.

Lily could not think of a good response. It didn't disgust her at all. Not that she was ready to sleep with him because she was not anywhere near ready for that much intimacy, but the thought did not disgust her. If she said it didn't disgust her, Sirius would never let her hear the end of it. She was not sure she was ready to make the relationship between her and Severus public yet. This would have to be treaded carefully. Thankfully, Lily did not have to answer because Dumbledore arrived.

"Sirius, if you would, please step out of the house. I would like to speak to Severus and Lily alone."

He left, closing the front door behind him.

"So, you three managed to be attacked and survive. Harry was able to destroy Voldemort."

They nodded. Lily showed Dumbledore Harry's scar and began to explain her version of what happened.

"So, Severus managed to put himself in front of the killing curse, aimed one back at Bellatrix, but missed just barely. From the state of the lamp over there, I would assume it got the brunt of that curse."

Severus and Lily looked over at the lamp, or what was left of it anyway. The thing had been blown to pieces and a bit of the broken bulb hung from the shade.

"The curses hit each other and rebounded? That would certainly weaken their state and your sacrifice certainly would weaken them even further at that point. It hit your arm, you say?"

Severus held out his arm, showing where his Dark Mark used to be.

"It hit your mark." Dumbledore looked between them. "That explains it then. That's why you didn't die."

"The fact that it hit my mark is why I am alive?"

"Yes. The killing curse is an evil. The Dark Mark uses very dark magic as well. When it hit your mark, the already weakened curse was sort of swallowed up by the mark. The curse destroyed the other form of dark magic. That's why your arm now looks like that and that is why you managed to survive. Extraordinary feat if I may say so. Luck was on your side. Even though you did not die, your sacrifice was still enough to protect Lily, the one you attempted to die for. She in turn attempted to sacrifice herself for Harry. Together your sacrifices saved Harry and defeated Voldemort. You all may end up famous."

They both shook their heads no at the same time.

"No fame. I don't want it." Severus said.

"No fame. I want to be able to breathe and relax. I want a quiet life now."

"I understand that, but unfortunately I will not have to say anything. This will get out on its own. I can work to keep your location safe and put in stronger charms. I will be oblivating both Bellatrix's and Peter's recent memories of your location. Those alone will not stop word from getting out. Voldemort is gone and the news is already out that a baby, helped by two other adults, has defeated him. You all got hit by the killing curse and lived to tell about and not only that, the three of you have managed to temporarily defeat Voldemort. It is a great day, a day of victory. For the time being, the world, both muggle and wizard alike, is a safer place to live in."

"So, we have no choice in becoming famous, no matter how much we ask for privacy, we won't get it?" Lily asked. The question was more rhetorical because she already knew the answer. "No happy end after all."

"The happy end is up to you, but I would just lay low if you don't want bombarded by the media. You live in a muggle neighborhood. They won't know you all are famous so you will be safer here."

"So, you want us to stay here?"

"If you want, but you are now free to separate, if you so desire. For now, things are calm."

Lily looked at Severus with a grin. "Actually, I think we will stay here."

Severus nodded. "Yes, I'd like that." He smiled at her before turning back to Dumbledore. "Do you know how Pettigrew and Bellatrix managed to find us?"

"I believe so. The other Death Eaters already in Azkaban managed to distract the dementors when they came to bring Peter food. Peter would turn into a rat and escape. He would return by the next meal, sneaking back in when they opened the gate. He managed to sneak into my office and did a lot of digging. He found the counters by doing this and told Bellatrix your location. I assume he discovered your location this way as well."

"Bellatrix followed you earlier and waited until she was sure you were inside the house before breaking the charms and breaking into the house to attack. Peter was the guard, ready to summon others if necessary, but you caught him and he knew you had been the one who had been helping Lily. He heard Bellatrix use the killing curse and Voldemort arrived moments later. Neither one expected to hear that Voldemort was gone or that all three of you managed to survive."

"Won't Peter be able to sneak out again?" Lily asked.

"No, he will be in a special holding cell along with Mrs. LeStrange."

"But they will find out about Severus. What if they come back?"

"Well, they will be angry, but they cannot touch you right now. You and Harry are protected."

"Severus is the one they will be after more so than us."

"He will be safe here. The sacrificial wards can be in put in place for you and Harry, though Harry's will only last until he comes of age in the wizard world. With those in place, Severus will be safe here too. No one will be able to touch any of you here."

"Okay. Anything, whatever it takes. I am ready for this to be over."

"It is over."

"But we are still not safe."

"You will be safe this time. I will have people patrolling the area over the next few weeks if it makes you feel any better."

Lily nodded and grabbed at her still aching head. "What about Harry's odd scar? What does the thunderbolt mean?"

"I am not quite sure, but I do believe it has something to do with Voldemort's defeat. I have a few theories, but none I can prove. I do think he will be okay for now."

Dumbledore chatted with them a little while longer before departing. Sirius and Remus came into the house once he left.

"Well, it has been a long day. Let's celebrate. Do you want to go eat at one of those muggle restaurants?" Remus asked them.

Lily shook her head. She was not hungry. "No, thank you. You all go ahead."

"There's this one place that serves some good seafood. Mary took us there a couple of times. Good ole fashioned deep fat fried fish and greasy, crispy chips." Sirius said.

"Please stop." Lily said feeling more queasy at the talk of greasy food.

"What? You don't like fish and chips? We can go somewhere else. There's this other place we went to. They had a seafood platter. Things like crayfish tails, crab, scallops and all sorts of other fish with horseradish on a platter, pasta dishes and chicken. I had a steak tartare that oozed-."

"Would you shut up already?" Severus interrupted. He noticed Lily had grown considerably pale during Sirius's talk of food. She looked like she might throw up.

"I wasn't talking to you." Sirius snapped.

"You are making her sick. She doesn't feel well. She already asked you to stop."

"Don't answer for her, Snivellus."

"Sirius, stop it!" Lily snapped, taking a breath. "He's right. I have a bad headache. I am dizzy and I currently feel like I might vomit, so please stop. The last thing I want is food right now."

"Okay. No food."

"Do you want something for your stomach?" Severus asked her.

Lily nodded. Severus got up and went into his lab to get the potion.

"You all go eat. We are fine." Lily said. "I know Severus won't go with you all if I'm not going."

"I don't know if I want you alone with him."

Lily rolled her eyes. Remus nudged Sirius in the side.

"They are fine together." Remus said. "What do you think will happen?"

"I still think Snivellus wants to sleep with her. How do I know he won't-"

"Stop!" Lily snapped. "Stop calling him that and I know what you are about to say. I don't want to hear it!"

"I have seen how he looks at you. In fact, the way you were looking at him today, I wonder what you two have been doing here by yourself. Have you two been-"

"Sirius!" She yelled and shut her eyes, her headache intensifying. "I am not in the mood for this right now."

"Fine. I wasn't thinking. I was just curious about the way you were looking at him. I mean, who would sleep with him?"

"You're an ass." Lily said, surprising Sirius.

"What?"

"You heard me. Just grow up."

"She hit her head. She doesn't feel well, Sirius, just leave it." Remus said, hoping to shut Sirius up before Lily punched him in the face. She looked like she might.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were defending him."

"I shouldn't have to."

Severus came back in and handed Lily some stomach soothing potion.

"You don't have to stay here anymore. You and Harry can move away from this. He's going to be trouble. He's a traitor."

"I want to stay. We want to stay together. It's none of your concern."

"There is something more going on, isn't there? Did he do something to you? I bet Snivellus-"

"Get out!" Lily said, pointing to the door. "Just get out! I'm not going to listen to this! Just go!"

_You go, Lily. Tell him off. _Severus thought to himself.

"Fine, but I think you making a big mistake living like this."

"She said get out." Severus said, looking into Sirius's eyes. "I want you out too. Until you can show some respect to her and her decisions, I don't want you coming back."

Sirius glared at him, ready to retort, but clearly thought better of it and turned for the door.

"I wonder what James would think about this."

"I wonder what he would think about how you are speaking to his former wife." Severus snapped back.

Sirius walked out and slammed the door. Remus shook his head.

"Maybe he'll grow up one day. I hope you feel better, Lily. I will leave you three in peace." Remus stated and headed for the door. "And you have no idea how happy I am to hear that you all survived. Amazing feat, truly amazing. Have a good evening, all three of you."

"You too, Remus." Lily said with a smile.

After Remus left, things got quiet. Severus sat down on the couch next to her. Harry was playing with his blocks on the floor, knocking them down, completely oblivious to everything that happened today or the reality of the fate that awaited him in the future. Lily took the potion and sat back against the couch.

"Where's Bellatrix's wand? I want to see it."

Severus handed it to her with a smile. "Have at it."

She smiled at him. He knew what she wanted to do with it. She broke it in her frustration of the day. He took the broken pieces back and set them on the table.

"What are going to say if they ask about it?" He smirked at her. It wasn't as if he really have a shit about Bellatrix's wand, but he was curious to know what Lily would say if questioned.

"I stepped on it." She said nonchalantly and looked at him with a smile. She rubbed her arms, feeling cold. The temperature outside had dropped significantly.

"Are you cold?"

"I think it is a little chilly."

"Well, it's supposed to be a bit cold tonight."

"I think the radio said it was supposed to be warmer tomorrow. It should be a nice day."

"Good." He put his hand on her shoulder.

"I cannot believe it." She shook her head. "We are still alive. It's still just, I thought we were all going to die. Instead, here we are, sitting here and your mark is gone, Voldemort, yes, I said it, is gone. He's really gone. He cannot come after Harry."

"Yes, he is gone. Harry is safe. We are safe."

"Do you think he will come right back?"

"We are safe."

"But what about you? I know what Dumbledore said, but he will kill you."

"We are safe." He said again and hesitantly put his arm over her shoulders.

She sighed heavily, tears pooling her eyes at the reality that everyone was okay. She swallowed them back happily and scooted over to him until her hip was against his. Lily laid her head on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her arm. It may have only been six in the evening, but they were both completely exhausted by the day's events.

"I think I will turn in early tonight." Lily said, taking his hand in hers.

"Me too. It has been a long day, hasn't it?"

She nodded. Harry came over to them.

"Hungry, Mama."

"I'll feed him. You just rest." Severus got up. "Come on, Harry, let's go eat some dinner. How about a sandwich?"

When Harry disappeared into the kitchen, Lily let out a deep breath and laid down on the couch. Her head still hurt, but the stomach soother had helped and she no longer felt sick to her stomach. She must have dozed off because she was awoken suddenly to something touching her nose.

"Mama." Harry said. "Wake up."

"Let her sleep." Lily heard Severus say quietly.

"It's okay, I'm awake."

"I'm sorry. I was going to distract him, but I wasn't quick enough."

"It's fine."

"Are you feeling better?" He asked, brushing her hair from her face.

"My head still hurts, but the potion worked."

"Would you like anything to eat?"

"Not yet."

"Something to drink?"

"Yes. Can you get me some cold water?"

"Of course." He got up and went into the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

She sat up, taking the glass eagerly. After she took a few sips, she set it on the table. "I think I will go ahead and give Harry a bath. Maybe take a hot bath myself after today."

"Okay. I think I will clean up down here."

Lily took Harry upstairs and Severus cleaned up the mess from the day's events. She brought Harry back down a little while later and then went up to take a bath herself. Severus let Harry play with a puzzle.

"Help." Harry said, getting frustrated with his large puzzle.

"You can do it. Turn it like this." Severus turned the puzzle piece slightly. "Now put the piece in its spot."

Harry put the piece in its spot and clapped his hands at his accomplishment. "I do it."

"You completed the puzzle." As silly as the accomplishment of a large, ten-pieced puzzle was, he could not help just smile. Things were finally okay. Life was finally moving forward for the better. He looked over at the time and realized that it was nearly right. Lily had been in the bath for more than an hour. He hoped she was alright.

"It's time for bed." Severus said. "Upstairs."

"No. No seep."

"Yes, it is past your bedtime, let's go."

Harry stubbornly refused to move. "No night-night."

Severus picked him up and took him upstairs. Harry fussed. "It's bedtime. End of discussion."

He put Harry in his crib and read him a short story. Harry was sound asleep before he finished. He left Harry's bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Lily? Are you okay?"

No one answered. He knocked again "Lily?" Panic hit him a little. He knew she had suffered a concussion and wondered if she was okay. He opened the door. She was lying in the tub, covered with bubbles. Her head was propped up against the tub's edge. He realized she was okay, but that she had fallen asleep.

"Lily, wake up. Lily!" He nudged her shoulder slightly.

Lily opened her eyes and looked over groggily. "What are you doing?"

"Checking on you. You've been here for a long time. With your concussion, I wanted to make sure you hadn't passed out or gotten sick or something."

Lily started to sit up and realized she was still in the tub. She pulled bubbles toward her to cover herself.

"I'll leave so you can get dressed. You aren't supposed to sleep long with a concussion." As Severus turned, Lily started to get up slowly. He left the bathroom and she got dressed. She went into her bedroom and sat down on the bed. Severus came in.

"I don't have much of a headache anymore. My dizziness is gone. I will be okay, really. I think a good night's rest will be what I need."

"Okay, but you may have me trying to wake you up every few hours."

Lily could not sleep well that night. She kept waking up every hour. Finally, it was two in the morning. She got up and noticed her headache was gone. She went to the window and looked outside. It was quiet, but after the day's events, she was uneasy. She knew people were looking out for them right now, which eased some of her concern.

Severus entered Lily's bedroom to check on her. He noticed her at the window. "Everything okay?'

She shrugged. "I am fine. My headache is gone."

"That's good." He looked out the window and saw Moody at the end of the street. "We are fine, really. We are going to be okay."

"I know." She sighed. "We are going to be okay." She reminded herself and turned to him. "I've never really been a part of this world that was free of You-Know-Who. Is it strange to feel that in many ways the weight has been lifted off my shoulders and yet, I know it's not over forever and the burden is still there? How long will it last? Can it last? And now that we are free from You-Know-Who, what do we do now?"

"What now?" He put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile. "Whatever we want."

"Anything we want."

"Within reason."

"Of course we aren't going to do something illegal, but maybe taboo."

"I sense some rebellion against the status quo."

She sighed happily and smiled at him. "Absolutely." She looked up at him eagerly.

"Can I join you in this rebellion?" He asked, looking down at her with a smile.

"You already have." She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his lips zealously. He took hold of her waist and returned the favor fervently. Freedom and rebellion never tasted so sweet.

_**A/N**__: Today, it is not a concern to let those will mild concussion or head injuries rest. In fact, I think they recommend it, but I know that even when I was young, common knowledge was to not the person sleep or sleep very long anyway for about 24 hours. Since this is set in 1982, I figured it would be more accurate. And Dumbledore: He probably already wonders about Harry being a Horcrux or having a connection to Voldemort, but since he cannot quite prove this yet, he will not say it and Lily would not be able to handle it right now even if he could prove it. No need to open the can of worms until you get to the fishing hole, right? (Sorry about the silly metaphor. I grew up in Appalachia. Enough said.) _

_Also: Starting tomorrow, America is having a banned book week. Since "Harry Potter" is one of the consistently challenged books and is currently banned in some school libraries here, I thought I would bring it up. We had an issue with banning books at my old high school shortly after I graduated. I cannot say what books they wanted banned because it briefly became a national mention and a quick search would give away not only my location, but the high school I graduated from as well. _

_I have been debating this so I'll ask my readers what they would prefer. Would you like to me skip straight to Harry's Hogwarts Years or would you like me to go through bits of his childhood here and there and then go through the school years when I get to that point of the story. This will be later, btw. When Harry is about 3 or so, not right now. I've just started the good stuff. ;)_


	29. Chapter 29: The Daily Prophet Dilemma

_Thanks to __**Bookworm1025, Very SmallProphet, Queen Tonda O Lay, Beauty and Bleeding, Musicalfan2012, Sithtar, Starryowly, Sab756, vAMPkIMI, AlgophobianSadist, Illbeyouralways, Irinaa3, Ravenclawbabe, Gyoro and Ururun, Sassymagpie, Harrylee94, Ranma's Girl1, GothGirl3030, RedStalkingDeath, Jordina, Piscesgirl35, Ujemaima, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, Breakawaymagic,**__**Narutonarutolove**__ and __**xLoveChuuChuuTrainx**__ for the great and helpful reviews! _

_**WOW! I have received 28 reviews since Friday night! You guys are awesome! :D Many thanks! **_

_Maybe it depends on the severity of the head injury? I remember in the mid 1990s, I had friend hit her head hard. She had to be woken up a lot afterwards. About a year ago, someone I know slipped on ice and took a knock to the head on the pavement. The paramedics said that it wasn't really required to be woken up. So, I guess it depends. _

_Sirius is unaware of what Severus actually did for Lily. It's not that he doesn't like Lily, but I just doubt he knows her all that well. Yes, she was married to his best friend, but I doubt her and Sirius ever had much of a relationship. I got the picture that he was James's friend alone from canon. I tend to think he comes around because of Harry and no other reason. Sirius will grow up and not that they won't ever take a jab at each other after that, but they will develop a grudging respect toward each other. _

_Yes, I did grow up in the Appalachian Mountains. I grew up in West Virginia. I still live around them. I love it here in the mountains and actually prefer it to the ocean. I'm still not feeling that well. I get these things about a dozen times a year. I just wait it out. _

_My brother: It's great that he is so good at everything, but the thing is, he doesn't care about much of anything. He has so much talent: Musically, artistically, athletically, academically, that it's hard to see him waste it. He just doesn't understand how lucky he is. That's what is sickening. I'm not jealous of him (much ;) ). The possible horcrux: It came from the death of Voldemort himself. I assumed in canon that he did die, but he came back as the horrid looking humanoid of the books (and movies). I assumed that when he struck Harry, it backfired on himself, killing him and creating an accidental horcrux. _

_Yes, Harry will learn that Severus is not his father. He just doesn't understand that right now. Yes and No. Harry will have magic incidents, but it will not be quite like canon because his circumstances are different. And probably-regarding horcruxes. :) _

_Yes, all my readers are awesome! : D Book banning is crazy. My favorite book people try to ban: Fahrenheit 451. Ban a book about…book banning. Never ceases to amuse. Usually it is fundie Christian parents who try and ban these books. The irrational fear of the Potter books I think comes from Exodus (22?) and Deuteronomy (19?) about witchcraft. Of course, does anyone really want to follow the rules in those chapters? That's a very scary thought. :0! I know I am a bit biased because I was a fundie once too. Btw, when we had an issue w/ books here, people flooded the bookstores and libraries because they wanted to know what the fuss was about, so I agree with statement! _

**Chapter 29: **_**The Daily Prophet**_** Dilemma **

_The next day:_

Lily woke up to the sun shining in from her window. She sat up, smiling, thinking about her moonlight kiss with Severus. She got up and got herself dressed. Harry was still asleep. Lily brushed at his dark hair and let out a breath of relief before going downstairs Severus was sitting at the kitchen table. He looked at her with a smile when she came in. There was a rapping at the back window. Lily opened it and let the owl in with the paper. She took it and gave him a treat. The owl flew off.

She sat down on the chair beside him and looked at the paper. She gasped.

"What's wrong?"

Lily turned the paper to him. The headline was about them. It read : _You-Know-Who is Defeated: Three Survivors of the Killing Curse Remain_ with a picture of them sitting on the couch beneath it.

"How did they get that picture? No one else was there at the time."

Severus shook his head. He had no clue. "What does it say?"

"You-Know-Who has been defeated. The toddler boy is said to be the one who caused the downfall of You-Know-Who. A man and woman, both 22 years of age and the toddler are said to have been struck by the killing curse and survived. How they managed such a feat is what the world wants to know."

"Does it say our names?"

"Not in the top headline." Lily looked over another headline. "Double Agent Survives Killing Curse. Severus Snape, a known Death Eater, has survived the killing curse. It is unknown how he managed such an incredible achievement. According to our sources, he has been working as a double-agent. The other survivors of the attack: Lily Potter and her toddler son, Harry Potter, were in the house with the former Death Eater. Lily's husband, James Potter was killed by You-Know-Who last Halloween. Why would a former Death Eater house a muggleborn woman and her son? Why would a muggleborn want to live with a former Death Eater? Is there more to this story than we are lead to believe? Are they lovers? Did Lily Potter cheat on her husband? Find out more in my column next week." Lily huffed in anger after she read the short article.

"Rita Skeeter, I presume." Severus said through gritted teeth.

Lily nodded and crumbled up the paper in her anger. "Cheat on my husband? That's what she thinks about it instead of how we survived? Horrid woman."

"It could be worse. Was there anything else about us?"

"Not really. Someone mentioned our survival and made some silly theories. There's info on Quidditch, recent births and deaths, the Whole World Wizard News, where we are mentioned as having survived, and there are short articles on Peter and Bellatrix and several other Death Eater trials."

"Just toss it. It's rubbish."

She did. "I'm going to go see if Harry is up yet." Lily left the room and went upstairs. She came back down with Harry a few minutes later.

"About Harry's scar" Lily said. "I think we should keep it secret until he's much older. The truth about how he got it anyway. The whole prophecy, attacked by You-Know-Who, being able to survive and all that is too much to handle for child even if he asks. When it's time for him to start Hogwarts, he should know the truth."

"I agree. It'll be a lot to handle and I would hate for him to grow up famous and be as arrogant as his father." Severus looked at Lily. "No offense."

"Well, I can't say that he wasn't when he was young." Lily sighed. "I want Harry to go to a muggle school. I want to try and raise him in both worlds. I think it is the ignorance of the pure-bloods that make them hate muggles and muggleborns so much. People fear what they don't understand."

"I always thought it was elitism, but I would agree with you."

"I had the best of both worlds. I think it will better for him to be part of both."

"What about his magic though?"

"I managed okay. I think he will too."

Severus shrugged. "I hope so. I hope he wouldn't be bullied."

"Me too, but I'm sure he'll be okay." She gave Severus a slight smile of reassurance. She knew he had been teased as a child for being `different.' "So, I guess you won't be going to work today."

"Doesn't look like it. The owner is a captured Death Eater."

"Well, you will be starting at Hogwarts in a few weeks and we can manage money-wise."

"I don't need Potter's inherited money."

"No, I understand." Lily decided she should change the subject. "Since I will be doing my Auror training again next month, it may be a good thing you aren't working. You can watch Harry while I am gone."

"What else will I be doing?"

"I know you probably don't want to and if you don't want to watch him, you can give him to Sirius or Remus."

"It's fine. He's very energetic, but he's not that difficult to handle for a couple hours. I want you to do the training. I know you'd enjoy having a career of your own."

She nodded. She would indeed like that achievement.

_One week Later_

Severus entered the living room from his lab. He saw Harry sitting on the floor with a book, flipping through the pages and saying the names of the animals he saw to his mother. He could see Harry's scar. Harry had no idea he was a famous name in the wizard world. He and Lily wanted to keep it that way.

"Orsie!" He exclaimed at the picture. "Ride horsie!" Lily was dusting with her wand. He smiled as she hummed to herself. He enjoyed seeing her happy. She seemed to have a new outlook and smiled a lot more lately. She had not been this cheerful since they had accidently bumped into each other last Halloween. He walked toward her and Harry turned to him. Severus put his finger to his lips to tell him to be quiet. Harry mimicked quietly to Severus's relief.

Severus went up to Lily, grabbing her shoulder. She jumped, startled by the touch. She turned to him and smiled. "Sev, you startled me."

He tucked a lock of her hair behind her hair, stroking it gently as he did. She grinned and started to slide her hands to his back when a flash of light startled both of them. Severus and Lily jumped away from each other and turned toward the window. They saw a man with a camera. Severus's temper flared and he bolted for the door. When the man saw him coming outside, he made a run for it, but Severus was faster and tackled him at the edge of the front lawn.

"What are you doing here? How did you find us, huh? This is the third time you've shown up here this past week and I want to know how you and your colleague know all this stuff you do about us. No one has given you permission to enter our home, but you two are getting in somehow and I want to know just how you are doing it." Severus yelled at him.

"I just take photos. I do what is asked of me and nothing more. I do nothing less."

Severus put him in a chokehold. "You have some means of getting inside our house. No one would have heard some of conversations you have written about without getting inside our house."

"Talk to her, not me." Bozo said.

"Their eyes were only for each other. Sparks flew out of their passion toward one another. Write this down." Someone said. Severus turned, releasing his chokehold, but still pinning the man to the ground. It was Rita Skeeter. "It is true. Former Death Eater Severus Snape and the widow Lily Potter have been having a fling. How long has it been going on?"

"No one invited you here. I want you off the property now!"

"I am here to spread the news about you three. People want to know your history and what happened and how you all ended up together. Surviving the killing curse is a major accomplishment. Tell me, how did you two pull off such a daring scheme? How was a toddler able to defeat the greatest dark wizard of all time?"

"We aren't telling you a damn thing."

"So both of you were involved in the plot?"

Severus shot her a murderous glare in his anger. He was getting sick of the twisting of their words.

"Cantankerous and has a very quick temper. Perhaps the bitterness of his Death Eater days still lingers inside him. His dark eyes seem haunted. Ready to fight anyone who stands in the way of his forbidden romance, perhaps?"

"Did you not hear me? Get away from here, both of you!"

Lily had come outside, carrying Harry. Rita turned to her with a smile.

"Lily Potter, quite the scandal you will cause with your choices."

Lily glared at her. "You heard Severus. Get out of here." She snapped bitterly.

"Former Death Eater and a muggleborn have romps in the house they own together. Tell me, does Harry belong to James Potter or have you two been in an adulterous relationship for years?"

"Are you deaf or is your head too far up your ass to hear anything?"

Severus looked at Lily in surprise, but he knew she was just as sick as he was of the lies and insinuations about the three of them. The photographer, Bozo, was still struggling under Severus's hold. Bozo was not much smaller than Severus, but Severus had better wits about it and outsmarted his opponent each time he tried to escape his grasp.

"Testy. Her fire-colored hair matches her temper. Guilt of her choices possesses her to strike at any form of opposition."

"Get out of here!" Severus and Lily said at the same time, pointing down the road.

"You both need to escort yourself off the premises or I will do it personally." As he started to loosen his grip on Bozo, a couple neighbors approached them.

"Is everything okay? Do you need some help?"

Severus released Bozo and got up. Bozo nervously got up, fearing being tackled again. He scooted over to Rita.

"No, but thanks anyway." Lily said. It was nice of them to be concerned, but they did not understand the situation and could not help. The neighbors left, but glanced back a couple times curious about the struggle.

"We have done nothing illegal."

"Get out of here NOW!" Severus yelled. "It is no one's business what we do, understand? So I suggest you leave at once."

Rita sneered. "We have plenty of information for tomorrow's column, Bozo. Come along." Skeeter and Bozo left the yard and disappeared up the road.

"I'm cancelling the subscription." Severus said once they were out of sight.

"Please do. I don't want to give money to that paper anymore." She went back into the house with Harry. Severus came inside behind her.

The following morning, they received their last paper. Lily saw the headline: _Death Eater and Muggleborn: Friends or Secret Lovers?_ The picture was of Severus touching her hair. Tomorrow's teaser headline was mentioned below: _Former Death Eater Attacks Photographer_. She tossed the paper in the trash.

_31 July 1982_

"What is today, Harry?" Sirius asked.

Harry looked at him, confused.

"Is it your birthday?"

"Bir day?"

"How old are you today? Are you two?" Lily asked.

Harry held up three fingers. "Two."

Lily pushed one finger down, laughing. "Two."

"Let him open up his presents?"

Severus watched as Harry attempted to climb on the table toward the cake. He stuck his finger in it just before Lily pushed him back to the seat. He fussed.

"I think he prefers the cake." Remus said.

"Let's eat first and then I'll let him open his presents." Lily said.

Severus listened as they sang "Happy Birthday" to Harry. Harry did not seem to notice. He was trying to get his hand in the cake again. This amused Severus. The kid was two. He didn't give a damn about a song.

After the song ended, they ate the cake. Sirius handed Harry a present before he had been cleaned up.

"There's no rush, Sirius." Lily said, wiping Harry's face and hands. "Okay. Now he can try to open them."

Harry did okay at opening the gifts. At times, his little hands had trouble with the wrapping. Sirius eagerly helped. Severus was beginning to wonder if it was Harry's birthday or Sirius's. Sirius seemed more excited than Harry.

"Look at that, a new broom." Lily said once they got to Sirius's gift.

"Boom." Harry said, holding it curiously.

"It's a toy one. The one I got for his first birthday is gone so I wanted to get him a new one." Sirius said.

"This should be fun." Lily said, sounding a bit unsure about it.

"Thanks a lot, Black. Now, not only will we have to keep with a toddler on the ground, we have to deal with one flying near the ceiling as well." Severus said.

"What? Can't keep up with someone on broom?"

"Don't start, Sirius." Remus said. "They let you in for Harry's birthday, but they may kick you out again."

"I still say they should go their separate ways now."

"I don't want to move Harry again right now. If we moved again, that will be our fourth move in a year. I want some stability for him right now. He needs it."

Sirius looked like he wanted to say something, but clearly thought better of it. Suddenly an owl flew in with a card, interrupting the celebration. "Oh no." He said, recognizing the card.

The card opened and began to yell at Severus about being a traitor. The howler ripped itself up. Harry whimpered. Sirius handed him the last present and tried to distract him.

"How many is that now?" Lily asked in aggravation.

"Oh, probably a dozen or more."

"You have received a dozen howlers?" Remus asked.

"We've had some positive letters too. A lot of people believe the crap they Rita Skeeter writes though."

"There have been some nasty things said. This morning's paper said that Rita Skeeter plans on writing a book about you three. She's been quoting random people, bringing up incidents that did happen and ones that never really did. Of course, it is Skeeter and all the incidents are exaggerated and twisted."

"We do have some support. Some people are awestruck that we managed to survive, but many are still skeptical about us. I have gotten letters of concern. I haven't read the paper in for a couple weeks. I don't even want to know what they are saying. Just burn them all." Lily told Remus.

Another owl flew in with yellow card. "Great." Lily said with a frustrated huff.

"Don't touch it!" Severus snapped at Sirius, who attempted to grab the letter.

Lily grabbed Harry and backed away from the table. "That's a curse letter."

Severus lifted the letter with his wand and took it outside. He set it on fire, burning the letter up. Just as he did that, another owl entered the house and dropped another curse letter. After Severus burned up the second one, another owl came.

"I can't take this anymore." Lily said and left the room. She hurried upstairs and into Harry's bedroom. She got out his trunk and began to pack his things. Severus came up to see her packing.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Somewhere, anywhere. I just have to get out of here. I am sick of being harassed by reporters. I am sick of the lies. I am sick of the Howlers. I am just sick of it. It was almost a month ago. No one is giving it a rest. I just need to get away for a few days." Lily closed Harry's suitcase. "I can't stay long. I have my auror training starting next week, but I just need a break." She left the room and headed to her own bedroom.

Harry looked at Severus, confused. Severus heard a sob come from Lily's room. He went down the hallway to her bedroom. Lily tried to calm herself down, but could not do so, not after three curse letters were sent to them.

"What if Harry had touched one of the cards?" She asked Severus, catching a sob in her throat.

"I very highly doubt it would have done anything too dangerous or irreversible, but I understand your worry. He did not touch it. No of us did."

"I just want to get away from here for a couple of days. I think I will head to the beach. Harry's never been. Do you want to come with us? Have a vacation before you go off to school in a month?" She asked with a sniff.

Severus thought about this. He'd never been to the beach. He'd never had a vacation period. He guessed it couldn't hurt. "Sure. When do you want to leave?"

"Today. In the next hour or so preferably."

"Well, I guess we better hurry. That's not much time."

"It'll be enough time. We just need some clothes, potions and food and we will be good."

"Okay. I will go pack my things then." He left her room and headed to his bedroom and hurried to gather his things into his trunk. Maybe it would be good to get away from all this and relax for a couple days.

Sirius and Remus came up to see what they were doing. Severus snapped his trunk shut as they approached the second floor.

"Are you leaving?" Sirius asked, though Severus detected a sense of happiness in that question.

"We are leaving for a few days, yes. We'll be back. Lily wants to get away."

"Why are you going with her?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"She asked me too. We are taking a vacation. I think we need one after all this mess."

"Is that so?"

"Where are you two going?" Remus interrupted Sirius.

"To the beach. I have no idea which one. Lily's decision."

"You aren't going to share a bed, are you?"

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Of course not. I doubt we'll even share a room, but if we did share a room or even a bed, I don't consider that to be any of your concern, Black. Lily can handle herself and make her own decisions. She doesn't need you to do it for her."

"He's right, Sirius. It's not your concern. Their relationship is their concern. You heard what Dumbledore said. He protected Lily and saved her life from Voldemort. It would not hurt for you to have a little more respect. I don't believe he will harm her at all."

"You think they have a relationship?"

"Yes. Family, friends, colleagues are all relationships. They definitely have a relationship."

"You know what I meant."

"It would behoove of you to stop assuming, Sirius." Lily said, setting her trunk in the hallway. "Our relationship is none of your concern. Our love relationship or lack thereof or sexual relationship or lack thereof is not your business. You were my husband's friend, not my late husband. Therefore, what I do with my life isn't your concern."

"Exactly. It's only a couple months since his passing. Why would you be sleeping with someone else?"

"It's been almost a year and when did I say I was sleeping with someone else?"

"You said you might have a love and maybe even sexual relationship."

"No, I said if we had one that wouldn't be your concern. There's a difference. Look, I just want to go. The three of us are going to Mercea Island. You are welcome to join us. We will be there for three or four days, though you may not stay with us if you do come. You'll need your own room."

Lily put featherweight charms on her suitcase before gathering Harry's trunk. She put the charms on his suitcase too and picked Harry up. "Let's head on out."

"I won't be joining you. I have a date tonight." Sirius said as they headed downstairs.

"With Mary?"

"No, we split up. I met this fine looking girl at Rosmerta's. Half-blood. She's quite the catch if I do say do so. She is going to be spending the night at my place."

"Is it your goal to get every witch you can into bed with you?" Severus asked with a sneer.

Sirius sneered back. "Jealous, Snape?"

"Of who? You?" Severus asked with a stiff, disgusted laugh.

"It's not my fault you can't get a girl to bed and I can't get girls out of mine."

"Remind me to make sure Harry doesn't learn the facts of life from you when he's older." Lily said to Sirius, interrupting their spat as she summoned potions to her and put them in a bag.

Sirius feigned a look of shock. "You don't trust me to tell him those things?"

Lily looked at him and raised her eyebrow. "What do you think? Luckily, I don't have to worry about that for quite awhile. Let's go before any more letters arrive." She gathered all the bags and headed out the door.

Severus, Lily and Harry walked up the road. Lily looked back at the house and let out a sigh of relief. This vacation would be good. She needed a real vacation.

_**A/N:**__ Thanks for the responses last chapter. I will be continuing through Harry's childhood past age 5/6. This may be quite long as a result. I will ask my next question because it affects the readers more than me. Would you prefer that at some point in the future, I split this story and make a sequel OR would you prefer that this story continue no matter how long it ends up being (not sure how many chapters yet)? _

_Also: I could not remember the name of the letter with hexes and curses or if the cursed letter in the series had a name. I can't find my book right off hand (It's not lost, I just can't find it ;) ). I tried to find the name in an internet search, but had no luck. If there is a name and someone knows it, please tell me. :) Thanks!_

_Now, it is time to finish up my paper on the Wife of Bath. Have a good night (or day if that's when you read this). _


	30. Chapter 30: Vulnerability

_Thanks to __**Torraine, vAMPkIMI, Musicalfan2012, Twichild369, BigBangTheory, Bookwork1025, Dragon0328, Zireael07, Ranma's girl1, Gyoro and Ururun, MarissaRosee, HughSoSexy, Reader123,**__**Eliizilla-rawr, Queen Tonda O Lay,**__**Irinaa3, Shinywhiteboards, Sab756, Squirrely-Butt, LunaSkylar, Remeyqueen74, Jordina **__and__** Ujemaima **__for the great reviews! Apologies to Ujemaima for your forgetting your name. Not intentional, I promise. _

_Torraine: Are you flattering me? I think you are flattering me. Publishing is a lot of work. I'd have to come up with something super good and original before I'd ever pursue it. Thanks though. You are very sweet!_

_Twichild: The Wife of Bath is a story in the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer. It's about a woman who has had five husbands. She tells about them and then gets into her tale about a knight. Not a very happy ending imo, but I think it is supposed to be._

_Ranma'sgirl: Yeah, that's what happened to mine too. I figure they are in someone's house. Might still be at my parents' home or in my grandmother's attic. Things get misplaced when you move. _

_Vampkimi: I will mention what Severus got him. Not in this chapter though. Lol to frolicking. _

_Gyoroandururun: : D Funny. _

_Reader: Yes and Yes. And I understood you fine. _

_Ujemaima: I guess I'm used to it since I grew up and still live what is known as the Bible Belt. Most people here have no trouble with Harry Potter. I consider myself a mainline Protestant Christian when asked my religion, though other people disagree because my beliefs aren't "normal." I can't say a whole lot on those crazy, paranoid Christian because I once was one. *guilty*. I did get out of it, but not without a major falling out with my old church. Long story, but things are much better nowadays and my new non-denominational church is great. Also, totally recommend Fahrenheit 451. I liked it anyway. _

_Darkprince: They won't stay. Do they have beach houses? I was told they usually use cabins, caravans (trailers) or hotels sometimes. A vacation and time away from "it all" is good for everyone. I haven't had one for about four years. I need one. Lol to hula shirt. _

_Shiny: It has been "taken out" of a couple school libraries because of the controversy. It's not really banned though. Those kids can read it plenty of other places if they wanted to. I don't think any book is officially "banned" in the US. The first amendment kind of protects that from happening thankfully. _

_Squirrelybutt: Thanks and interesting name. ; )_

_Sab: No, they won't be friends. Grudging respect toward each other, yes. Friends, no. _

_Jordina: My little brother is a pain, but he's still my baby brother, so I'm not going to beat him. I figure he'll grow up and appreciate his gifted abilities once he's older. Right now, he says he wants to be an engineer (good goal imo) and a rock star (I'll let him think it's possible ;) He's definitely talented enough. I have no musical talent whatsoever though.) I would have sworn Hermione got one in the Goblet of Fire as backlash to Skeeter's story about her and Harry. Maybe I'm mistaken? Also, memory of couch? *Scratches head a bit confused*And yes to the letters, but they calmed down and no more cursed ones were sent. Leaving would make the letters take longer to arrive though. However, I don't mention the letters in this chapter. It would have been too trivial. _

_*A warning: This chapter contains talk of sexual activity, sexual references and innuendo (brief). This fanfic is rated M just as reminder. Anything from kisses and sensual attractions to making love is fair game. I just wanted to mention this so no one flips out._

**Chapter 30: Vulnerability **

"_Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you." ~Unknown author~_

_The next evening: _

Lily walked with Severus and Harry along the sand. Severus was walking alongside her. Harry was running ahead, chasing birds and picking up sticks and anything else he could find, which wasn't always good, but he was enjoying himself.

She suddenly felt sharp pains along both sides of her abdomen and across her sides. Even worse stabbing pain hit her hard on her back. The intensity of the pain took her by surprise and had her nearly doubled over.

Severus looked over at her and saw her cringing, doubled over as if in terrible pain. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I don't feel so well."

"I think we should go back. Come on, Harry, we're going this way."

Harry turned around and ran back to them as Lily and Severus walked back toward the hotel. By the time they got back to the hotel, the pain was easing up a little. When they got to the room, she dashed for the bathroom.

Severus figured Lily probably needed to stay in for the evening. He and Harry would have to dine in instead of going out for dinner tonight like they had planned.

Lily started to lay down on her bed, when the pain hit again. Lying down was too uncomfortable. She got and paced. Severus watched her with concern.

"Is there anything at all I can get you?" He asked her. She looked absolutely miserable and was clearly in terrible pain.

Lily shook her head, having no idea what might make her feel better. The pain was too much for her and she could feel bile trying to come up, making her very nauseated. "I feel like I'm going to be sick." She ran to the bathroom to throw up. After she had gotten sick, she got a drink of water and tried to lie back down. _So much for enjoying the nice day_. She thought. She was too ill to do anything right now. As she curled up in pain, she suddenly remembered that the three of them were supposed to go out to eat this evening. The thought of food made her feel sick again. That was the last thing she wanted at the moment.

Lily tried to rest while Severus fed Harry some dinner in his hotel room, but found that she unable to do so. Lying down was more miserable than pacing the floor. About thirty minutes later, Severus returned with Harry. After Harry was settled with his toys, Severus turned his attention to Lily.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"No." She mumbled miserably. "Worse."

"Are you sure I can't get you anything besides water?"

"Not right now."

"Are you still feeling sick to your stomach?"

She nodded again. "Very sick."

Severus gently brushed at her hair. "Did you get sick anymore?"

"Once."

Severus felt bad for her. "Do you have any idea what's wrong?"

"No. I wish I did. I get waves of sharp, intense pain every 15 minutes or so. They nauseate me each time. I've never felt this kind of pain before except when I gave birth to Harry. It's not the same type of pain though. I'm not having a baby, I promise."

Severus gave her a little smile. "I wouldn't have thought that was the problem."

Lily gripped her stomach and back again as if in horrible pain. She got up and ran for the bathroom all of the sudden, her hand to her mouth as if she was going to be ill. He could hear her vomiting a moment later. When she came back, she looked much worse than before. He got his bag of books and came back about ten minutes later. He was determined to help her somehow.

"Sev?" She asked, clearly in pain. "Can you get me some more water, please?"

He got her some water to drink. "What all hurts?" He asked, hoping to figure out what might be wrong.

"My back and my stomach and my sides." She said, breathing out in pain as she tried to tell him where the pain was coming from. "Oh, god." She got up and started to pace.

Severus watched her. She looked miserable. "Shouldn't you rest?"

"I can't. It's too uncomfortable."

Severus looked through the book regarding ailments while she continued to pace the floor of the room.

The pain hit her so hard that she was once again feeling sick. "I think I'm going to throw up." She ran into the bathroom.

Severus began to contemplate what could be wrong with her: _Maybe she has food poisoning? What had she eaten recently? Why would her back be hurting so bad if it was that? Maybe the stomach flu? In the summer though? And again, why was her back killing her? What was in the back? Spine? Kidneys? Kidneys! Maybe something was wrong with her kidneys. _He should have run a diagnostic on her.

Lily came back out of the bathroom looking terrible. Severus got some water as she laid back down.

"Lily? Would you mind if I ran a diagnostic?"

"Please do." She said, still feeling pain hit her.

Severus ran his wand over her back and then over her abdomen. "Kidney stone. It looks small enough to pass on its own with time. It says about four millimeters."

Lily moaned in pain. "It's what I get for getting pregnant. I have had kidney trouble since I got pregnant the first time. This pain though. I would rather go through labor. This is more miserable."

Severus had never had a kidney stone, though he knew they were painful. Lily was in tears from the pain. It made Severus feel a bit helpless. He gave her some potion for pain and another to soothe her stomach before giving her more water.

"It's important to drink a lot of water. It will help it pass." Severus said, reading one of his books. "And you are supposed to use a strainer."

"A strainer? For what?" She asked, holding her stomach.

"When you use the bathroom to catch the stone."

"That's lovely. What am I supposed to do with it after that?"

"Determine what type of stone it is and start taking a potion to clear out the kidneys."

"Wonderful." She grumped, a bit disgusted at the thought.

Severus put Harry to bed for Lily. As Severus cleaned up Harry's mess of toys, Lily ran to the bathroom to get sick. She laid back down on the bed when she came back and grabbed her back in pain. Severus laid on the other side of her and began to rub her back, hoping to help ease her pain a little. Lily smiled at him and held her stomach at her abdomen, her hands gripping above her hips at her aching sides. She let a breath in pain. The pain potion had helped some, but everything still ached in waves.

"You should probably head to bed." She said.

"I don't think so. You have thrown up a dozen times already and keep dashing to the bathroom. I want to make sure you will be okay."

"I'll be okay." She said with uncertainty.

"I still want to be sure. Do you want anything?"

"No, but you can keep doing what you are doing."

He smiled as he massaged her back. "As long you want me to."

Lily nodded and closed her eyes in exhaustion, finally managing to relax and drift into sleep. Severus continued to rub her back for awhile. When he stopped and started to get up, Lily woke up and gripped her stomach and back in pain. She dashed for the bathroom. Severus wasn't sure if she was sick to her stomach again or if she just had to use the bathroom again. He didn't hear her vomiting so he assumed it was the latter.

She came back and chugged a glass of water before lying down with a moan of pain. "Can you rub my back again?" She asked him, almost pleading.

He laid back down and began to massage her back with his right hand. He took his left hand touched her abdomen and began to softly massage across it. He started from her left hip to her right side.

"It still hurts, but the potion and what you are doing is helping." Lily said. With him trying to rub away her pain, she found herself eased into sleep. At some point later, Severus shut his tired eyes and drifted into sleep beside her.

He was awoken to cries of pain. Lily was sitting up, gripping both her stomach and back. She was crying. He sat up and touched her back. She turned. She looked awful. As he started to rub her back, she leapt up. "I have to use the bathroom."

When she came back out, she looked like she felt better. She laid down beside him. "Thanks for helping me."

"You couldn't possibly have passed the stone already."

"No, but I don't feel pain anymore." She put her head on the pillow and touched his hand. "I appreciated the massages. They did help."

"It was no trouble. I just wanted you to feel better. I'm sorry you were so ill today."

"Me too, but things happen. We can have fun the rest of the vacation, right?"

"Absolutely."

"What time is it?" She asked, wondering how long it had taken the pain to subside.

"Three-thirty."

"It seems silly for you to go back to your room now."

"You want to stay in bed with you?" He asked with a sly smile.

"It's not like we are doing anything. Besides, it might look a bit suspicious if anyone sees you." She said with a laugh.

He smirked. "Yes, it might look suspicious for me to sneak out of your hotel room in the middle of the night. I'm sure Black would flip if he found out."

"Who says he has to find out?"

"What would it matter if he did? It's none of his concern what goes on between the two of us."

"None what so ever." Lily sighed and caressed his hand. "Sev?"

"Yes?" He asked.

"Do you think we can make this work?"

"What?"

"Us, the three of us living together?"

"We've made it work so far, haven't we?"

"I just don't want to uproot Harry again."

"You don't have to."

"I don't want to, but maybe it's not good to do this right now. I do care about you and I worry that the two of us living with you will make this fallout with the Death Eaters even worse."

"They can send all the howlers they want, but they can't touch us."

"I guess you're right." She sighed. "Do you ever wonder what might have happened if you and I were sorted into the same house?"

"Sometimes, but honestly, I couldn't picture you as a Slytherin or myself as a Gryffindor."

"Ravenclaw might have been a good house."

"You were certainly intelligent enough."

"So were you."

"Maybe."

"Don't be so modest. You were and still are quite intelligent." She looked into his dark eyes. "If you never became part of the Death Eaters, I think things would have turned out differently between us."

"I do too."

"If we had stayed friends, our lives would be different. I don't know if I would have done some of things I did if we never lost touch."

"We can't change the past."

"No, but I think about it sometimes. If we hadn't of had our fall out, maybe you and I would have ended up together. Who knows, right?

"You may have still ended with Potter."

"I don't know if I would have. I don't think I ever told you how we ended up dating, did I?"

"No. I have wondered though. Potter wasn't the best person."

"Maybe you would have been better?"

"I think you could have done even better than both of us."

She shrugged with uncertainty. "By our seventh year, I hadn't really had a boyfriend. My friends kept trying to set me up with a couple guys, but they weren't really that interested in me nor was I really interested in them. I didn't have an interest at the time with everything else that had been going on my life at the time, but nearly all of my friends wanted me to go out with James. His ego had deflated by seventh year quite a bit and he had stopped asking me out, though he still admitted he wanted to go out with me. When we became the heads of our house, I still didn't want to go out with him. He was nice to me, but I never believed we would end up as a couple. I did not want to be with him. I dreamed of love, but not with James."

"They set you up with him, I'm guessing."

She nodded with a smile. Severus wasn't sure how to read that smile. It seemed both happy and forced. It was if she was happy in some ways they had ended up together, but in many others, not happy at all.

"Well, right before winter break, my friend, Mary and Sirius set us up on a surprise date. I was not happy they had set me up with him at first. We got through the date though and I just didn't feel that much anger toward him anymore. I agreed to a second date, sort of. I don't know why I agreed to accompany him on the Hogsmead visit on Valentine's day, but I did. We had our first kiss then. Well, he kissed me anyway. I did not kiss him back at that time. It didn't matter that I hadn't kissed him back though, because others saw him kiss my lips and announced we were dating. News traveled fast. I felt awful with the thought of breaking up with him then. I decided that I may as well go along with it." Her smile faded and she stopped caressing Severus's hand. She looked down and fiddled with a thread on the sheets.

"I think I just wanted the relationship. I had nothing else and no real relationships with anyone. Did I have friends? Sure, but they were not an intimate relationship. I wanted a close relationship with someone. My parents were gone. I had no home anymore. My sister was still mad at me for something I had no control over and she had just gotten married herself, so I was alone. James liked me and he was the only guy who was interested at the time, so I took his offer of a date and we became boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Then you became pregnant." He said. Lily's face looked a bit pained. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought the subject up."

"No, it's okay." She sighed. "I don't think I would have agreed to anything if I hadn't felt so desperate for affection from someone at the time. I admit it. I was in love with the thought of being in love. I was naïve. I was okay with his overly affectionate ways in the beginning, though I felt he was moving too fast at times. He enjoyed snogging me and I let him. I thought maybe I had found the person I wanted to be with. I thought this was how relationships were and it wouldn't get any more intimate than that for awhile. Then three months later, he was snogging me and got overly affectionate. Again, I was naïve. Why I thought James wouldn't want to sleep with as soon as he could, I don't know. That's what he did. He and Sirius had that reputation back then."

"Mad Hands Marauders."

She nodded curtly. "I wasn't sure I wanted to do anything yet with him, but I let him do those things. I knew he wanted to sleep with me. I knew I shouldn't have said yes. He kept persisting though and I foolishly agreed, thinking that maybe it would make us closer and maybe it would make me happy. Everyone said it was fun and enjoyable so I let him do it. I should have said no and not let me pressure into it. I was stupid."

"You weren't stupid." Severus was a little surprised she admitted to feeling pressured into sleeping with Potter or that she admitted it was really foolish to have let him do so. It was shocking that she revealed this to him, but yet it made him happy. It showed that she felt comfortable enough to let her guard down and reveal things she was ashamed of to him.

"It was stupid. It was not fun. He told me it was no big deal and that most girls struggle the first time. Even after three years of marriage, he never did tell me just how many girls he had slept with before me. One thing I should have seen and realized with the experience was that he was very domineering and because it was my first time, I let him be that way. I thought he knew better than I did. I had to finally ask him to stop because I was in so much pain. He did stop when I asked. I was too embarrassed in the end to go ask for a contraceptive potion and so I didn't take it. Another very foolish thing I did. I regretted agreeing to the experience right after it happened. I was not ready to have done it yet. I was not ready emotionally or mentally. Everyone reassured me that the first time can be painful and that you won't get pregnant the first time. I believed them. A month later, I found out I was pregnant."

"James was furious and asked why I didn't get a potion. I asked why he couldn't have used any protection himself. Two days later, he proposed to me. I didn't agree to it then, but finally did and you know the rest. If I hadn't been so foolish and naïve, I would have realized that maybe we weren't all that compatible. There was a constant battle of dominance and submission in our relationship. He was a nice person to me usually, but we just clashed. I think he needed someone else, not me. He needed someone whose personality matched his better than mine did. Despite the fact that he wanted me and did love me he didn't want to accept that we didn't match that well. A lot of our relationship had changed by the time he died. Still, as I've said before, some things were still the same."

Lily looked into Severus's eyes. "So far, you and I have gotten along. Sure, we've had our spats and frustrations with minor habits, but in general, it's been good." She paused. "Have you wondered what may have happened if we had ended up together instead?"

"Yes, but sometimes things just work out how they do."

"Yes." She smiled at Harry. "The best thing about my relationship with James is that."

"Harry is carbon copy of James on the outside, but I think he is full of your personality."

"I think so too. Even Sirius says this. I think he's disappointed about that. He wanted another James, but Harry isn't James. He's his own person."

"Agreed. No use blaming the kid for the sins of the father."

Lily sighed. She knew Severus wasn't just talking about Harry with that statement. "Sometimes I wonder if you and I are getting into this relationship too soon. It's not been a year yet."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Confused. I have definitely fallen for you, there's no question there, but yet, I don't want to come across as rushing it or pursuing something before I am ready. I made that mistake before and I don't want to make it again."

"We will take our relationship as slow as you like."

"I feel ready to begin it and I don't mind being affectionate with you. I love it. Don't get any ideas about sleeping with me though. I'm not rushing into it this time."

"No rush." He said, trying not to laugh at her complete seriousness. He understood she did not want to make any mistakes. Sure, he wouldn't mind sleeping with her. She was beautiful. Why wouldn't he want to? She was the one who had to decide the timing. He'd be ready whenever.

"I'm not going to let myself be pressured into it this time."

"No pressure." He said with a smile.

"But if our relationship gets more intense, I plan on doing it with you. I want to make sure you aren't like James when it comes to that area of our relationship."

"Okay." He said, a bit shocked and a bit unsure about her concern. He wondered how James had behaved during sexual encounters that made Lily so concerned about how he would be. Lily looked a bit aggravated as she spoke of that area of their relationship. He wondered if James hadn't treated her very well in those aspects. Something about it had frustrated her enough that she wanted to make sure he wouldn't be James. Severus hoped he wouldn't be. It made him a bit nervous to think about.

"I do miss him at times, but I am finally feeling able to move on with my life. I do wonder quite often if we would have made it last, made it work if he had lived. I wanted it to work and succeed. If I hadn't gotten pregnant, I'm not sure we would have stayed together and as awful as it sounds, I do believe he would have moved on soon afterwards to the next girl. He got me to go out with him and sleep with him. What else was there? Damaged goods, right?"

Severus looked into her eyes and saw pain. He shook his head. "You will never be that. You aren't an object to be used and thrown out. If Potter couldn't see you as more than that, he was the one who was missing out."

"Missing out on what?" She asked with a chuckle.

"You. You're beautiful, talented, intelligent, independent, brave, strong-willed, sometimes stubborn, resilient, caring, kind-hearted and a wonderful mother. I knew you would be though. You were always nurturing and empathetic."

Lily smiled at him genuinely. "Thanks. It's nice that you think that."

"I don't think those things. I know they are true." He put his hand over hers. "I mean that."

"You don't make this easy."

"What?"

"Not really pursuing anything with you yet."

"There is no rush at all. We have all the time in the world."

_**A/N**__: I apologize for my typing error last chapter too. I meant Mer__**s**__ea Island. My bad. That is now fixed. Sorry. :/_

_About James and his relationship with Lily. It may not be what people think James was like. I took my ideas from what little we know about the relationship and the way James behaved in canon. You may not like the way I created him or the relationship, but it's just my idea. _

_I must thank a couple unnamed people for helping me with what kidney stones are like. I've been thankful enough to never have had one (and I mean it, I am VERY thankful). *knocks on wood three times superstitiously.* The unnamed people were not so lucky. They described the pain, the frequent need to use the bathroom and the nausea and vomiting with each wave of pain. It was described to me by one person "as the worst pain they'd ever experienced, worse than giving birth." Said person had had two natural childbirths so they'd know the pain. The treatment and length of pain were also described. The time of the pain varied from hours to days. It ended once the stone passed into the bladder. From there it took a week or so before the stone passed out of the body. _

_Also, tallied up: One long story wins! Is there is a limit on the amount of words allowed? If so and I exceed that, then I will make it two. _

_~Would have had this up yesterday, but my pregnant friend went into labor Monday and had her twins two months early. They are all okay, but a bit small (both are three lbs.) So, I got a bit behind with things and finished this Tuesday and edited it today. _


	31. Chapter 31: Open Hearts

_Thanks to __**Jordina, VerySmallProphet,**__**Narutonarutolove,**__**Ujemaima, Torraine, vAMPkIMI, RavenclawBabe, Blazen, Gyoro and Ururun, Ranma's Girl1, Reader123, Singingequestrian89, Darkprince31, Squirrely-Butt, Sab756, Girlylinnea**__ and __**MarissaRosee **__for the reviews. _

_Jordina: Well, with magic, many things are possible. I guess my username gave away my Western Astrological sign, didn't it? ;) I've seen that show. I don't get how some of them "didn't know". All the women on there said "I had no symptoms", but it was preceded by listing of symptoms that indicate pregnancy. You think if you are fatigued, gaining weight and throwing up almost every morning (and during the day at times) and you've slept with someone recently that something would register as off? It would to me. I'd at least think something was wrong with body and have it checked out. Kidney stones are apparently excruciatingly painful. As I said, one person told me giving birth naturally was less painful. Ouch! My research and the people I talked to who've had one said they were very nauseous and threw up at least a couple times from the pain. One person told me that each "wave" of pain made them vomit because of the intensity. That sucks about your summer. I hope you are completely recovered now. _

_Well, it's what they ask you to do. There are different types of stones and unless a doctor knows what type of stone it is, he or she can't help treat what caused the stone to form in the first place. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. ;) But it's not they did anything anyway. A bit too soon for that. _

_VerySmallProphet: Eh, I figured she wanted some privacy. And ouch to having so many broken bones. I couldn't write on a condition I had no experience with without research and first-hand accounts. _

_Ujemaima: Yes, and she has a 17 month old daughter too. She'll have her hands full. It took more than two years to find the beliefs that I was content with. I wish you the same luck. My parents took my loss of faith bitterly. Should I mention leaving home after that? I'll leave that out. I doubt your parents are like mine. At least I hope not. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but we get along better now that I don't live with them, lol. _

_Naruto: Well, James never physically harmed her or anything like that. It won't be until they sleep together _

_Torraine: Well, thank you. If I ever come up with something different and something I think is really good, I may consider going through the hassle of publishing. _

_Ravenclawbabe: No, she's not pregnant. Though I realized it's been a little over nine months since James died. Total coincidence. She and Severus have not had sex yet, no. She was not pregnant at James's death either. _

_Blazen: Sadly, I agree. I have seen this too often already. _

_Ranma: Nothing to do with Severus and everything to do with my interpretations from experience, both personal and observed. They had a good marriage at the time of his death, so it's not that it was all unhappy. I wanted typical young and naïve people who "love" each other and marry fast and find themselves realizing that this is harder than they thought. _

_Reader: They likely will, but not anytime soon. They might have a child later. _

**Chapter 31: Open Hearts**

Severus woke up to the sun shining in his face between the closed curtains. Lily was sound asleep. The sunlight hit her hair, making it look like it was on fire. He watched as she breathed, noticing how beautiful she was. As he started to sit up, Lily stirred and opened her eyes.

"Morning." He said. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." She said and propped her head up with her hand. "You?"

"I'm good."

"Thanks for everything yesterday and for making sure I was okay. It was very sweet."

"If it had been the other way around, you'd have done the same."

"Of course." She sighed. "Thanks for listening to me tell about my relationship with James. I've never told anyone about it really. I felt I could tell you though."

"Well, that's good. I never knew how you ended up with him."

"James wasn't terrible. He could have just left his pregnant girlfriend, but he didn't. We did rush into marriage and I guess we just weren't ready and did not know each other well enough. We weren't prepared to handle the sudden losses and troubles and we cracked under the pressure. Everything about our differences surfaced during those times and we could not handle it. Things may have worked out. There's no way to know now. I can't think much about that because it's over. James is dead and there's nothing that will change that. I need to move on."

"Life is not perfect and marriages are no different."

"No. I am ashamed of how we ended up together though and about how we both cracked instead of leaning on each other. We fought instead of dealing with it."

"We all make big mistakes. We aren't human otherwise. I've made some appalling ones myself."

"I know, but you realized your mistake and got out of it."

"I still did things I shouldn't have. I did terrible things, Lily."

"That's what Death Eaters do."

"I used the unforgivables."

"You have to forgive yourself."

"If I had known the prophecy was for you, I never would have given it. I was just as naïve as you were. I thought I would be happy if I could become a Death Eater. I thought I would have power and influence, but it wasn't worth it. Once I got in, the reality of what he was doing was too much to bear. I had to become a spy because you can't just quit being a Death Eater. Once you take the mark, your only escape is death. I did not realize that going in."

"Well, you managed to escape without dying. I did try to warn you, but I won't say I told you so." She said with a smile.

"You did. You win. What's life without mistakes though?"

"If we never taste adversity prosperity wouldn't taste so sweet. I think it's great how much you've changed and how much you've grown as a person."

"We have both grown as a result of our life's circumstances."

"Yes and I'd say that you've turned out great despite a difficult childhood."

Severus gave a shrug. "I'll never be my father. I'd rather die than be like him."

"Don't talk like that. You aren't your father."

"I hope not. He never liked much of anything. He drank too much. They fought all the time. I was always around the park because of that. I didn't want to be home. He was a very angry, very bitter person. He never said why he was always so angry with my mother, but I think he hated her ability as a witch. Mum never used her magic with him. She never used any magic at all to defend herself. I never understood why. I always got the impression I was never supposed to have happened. He hated the fact that I was like her and had magical abilities too."

"I did wonder if your hatred toward muggles was because of your father. He was a bad muggle."

"Yes. I don't care what Potter and Black thought, I did not know any curses starting school. Where would I have learned them? I always knew I had magic and power with my magic. When I saw you in the park the first time and saw your behavior, I knew. I knew I had finally met someone like me."

Lily smiled. "I remember that day. I thought you were insulting me." She laughed. "But after I went home, I remembered that look on your face. I wondered if it was true. I was different. I could do odd things. It drove Petunia crazy. I remember when I was about five, I think, I got really mad at my sister when we were playing and moved the entire tea set to my side of the table. She freaked out and told on me. Mum didn't get mad though. She was more confused with me. When they found out I was a witch, they were actually relieved. They were very happy and very proud of me. They loved hearing what all I did at school and about the magical world they never knew existed."

"Your parents were how parents are supposed to be. They should be proud to have had a witch for a child, especially one as good as you."

"I'm sorry yours weren't. They should have been."

"I was a worthless kid. Nothing but trouble, right?"

"That's not true."

"It's what everyone thought."

"Well, they were wrong to assume that."

"Not really. It sounds completely self-loathing to admit that you were the only real friend I ever had."

"No, it doesn't. I know James and Sirius and even Peter did not do anything to make your life better in school."

"That's a major understatement, but I don't want to bash your late husband."

"I know how you all were with each other. I haven't forgotten."

"They did more than you know."

"I don't doubt that."

"But it doesn't matter. I better go get a shower and get dressed. We have three days left. May as well make the best of the day, right?" Severus got up from the bed and headed for the door.

"Okay." She got up from the bed and looked over at Harry, who was standing up in the crib. "I'll feed Harry and we'll meet up in an hour?"

"Sounds good." He left the room.

Lily got Harry changed and fed him. She ate some toast unsure how her stomach would behave after the previous evening. She did not want her stomach to revolt again. After Harry had eaten, she got him cleaned up and dressed. She conjured up a gate and gave him the puzzle Severus had given him for his birthday to play with while she took a shower.

She came out of the shower with wet hair and saw a couple new letters by the window. She went over to them, hoping they weren't cursed letters. They weren't. She opened them. One was berating her and the other was a positive note, telling them to not listen to Skeeter and wishing both her and Severus happiness. She wondered if Rita Skeeter would write about them possibly eloping. Lily shook her head at the thought as she dried her hair and finished getting ready before heading outside to enjoy the nice day. Anything to get a story.

_Two hours later_

"Boats." Harry exclaimed, pointing at the large boats docked on the sand nearby.

"Yes, lots of boats."

Lily turned to Severus, who was looking out over the water. "I'm going to run up to my room. Can you watch Harry for a couple minutes?"

"Again?" He asked.

"Well, I keep drinking all that water."

"I don't need the details. He's fine."

Lily headed back for the building. Severus looked over at Harry, who was dumping a bucket of sand on himself. Lily was going to have to have her work cut out for her when it came to bathing him tonight. When Lily came back, Harry's lap was covered with wet sand. Lily sighed. It was no use worrying about him getting messy. She'd just have to give him a bath tonight.

Lily scoped the area, taking in the scenery. She saw a family up ahead with two young girls, who were flying kites. She sighed to herself. If she had had two daughters, she would have hoped that they would get along better than she and her sister did. A feeling of sadness swept over her as she thought about her sister and her parents. She wouldn't take back being a witch for anything, but she wished she could have fixed the relationship between her and her sister. It would have been great to have had her parents around too. Had they been alive things would have been so different. She might never have gotten into a relationship with James, likely never married him and certainly wouldn't have had Harry.

Severus turned to see her staring up ahead near some cabins. He looked that direction and saw the family and wondered if she was thinking about her own family. He took her hand. Lily shook her head and turned to him.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just got lost in thought."

"Anything you want to share?"

She smiled. "I was just thinking about my parents and my sister. If I ever had two daughters, I would hope they would have a better relationship than my sister and I. I miss her sometimes still. I know it sounds crazy, but we really did have a great relationship in childhood. She could never get past her jealously though."

"When did you last speak to her, if I may ask?"

"The night before school began. She had just gotten married. I was not invited to the wedding. It was difficult day. I had all my belongings with me because someone was moving into our parents' house the following week. She told me that she was now far away from freaks, that she would never have to see them again. I took myself to Kings Cross. My father had already paid the tuition for the year so at least I didn't have to worry about being homeless. Hogwarts was the only home I had at that point."

"I understand that. Hogwarts was better than home for me, but far from a sanctuary. My parents died about a year after we graduated, but it didn't matter anyway. I wasn't speaking to them at the time."

"I heard about it." She said, figuring he did not want to talk about it. She caressed the top of his hand with her thumb. "Anyway, I thought about you when I heard. I wondered how you were doing and if you were okay. I expressed those thoughts to James. He wasn't too happy. He couldn't believe I cared what happened to you after what you had said to me. I was over that. I knew you were a Death Eater at that point, but we were childhood friends, weren't we? I knew you were doing something dangerous and I knew you did not see them how I did at that point. I really was concerned I would hear that You-Know-Who had killed you."

Severus smiled as they walked by the water. "Well, I wasn't doing much. Working, doing whatever the Dark Lord asked me to, nothing interesting really.

"You know what I was doing. James and I were trying to work on our marriage. I wasn't pregnant with Harry yet."

"I hoped you were happy with him. I was worried he might not be good to you. I wouldn't have been happy if he had harmed you. I might have paid him a visit if he had."

Lily looked at him, a bit confused. "I know you never stopped thinking about me and I know you hated James, but why would you have bothered? I could handle myself."

"Of course you could. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have tried to scare him a bit if I knew he had tried to hurt you."

"Well, it would have been unnecessary. He never hurt me, besides once grabbing my arm forcefully during a heated argument. It's not like you were my ex or something and got mad at how he treated me." She chuckled.

"Well, no, but," He took a deep breath, taking in the salty air. "I guess I should confess."

"Confess?"

"I always kind of had a bit of a crush on you." He gave her a sly smile.

Lily looked at him in surprise and laughed a little in shock. "What?"

"I liked you. We were best friends, but I sort of liked you as more than a friend. I thought you were pretty."

Lily felt herself blush a little. "Really?"

"May as well admit it now."

"I never knew." Lily started to think about this. How had she not seen it? As she considered his confession, she wanted to smack her forehead. It seemed obvious when she thought about it. Everything was making sense now. "That's it."

"What's it?"

"Everything. It, it all makes sense. James liked me. He knew, didn't he? He saw what I didn't. How could I have been so blind?"

"What?" He asked, completely confused at what was going through her mind.

"James liked me. You liked me too. James was blunt about his interest, but you weren't. James must have known though. It was a competition, wasn't it? Did James bully you to make you look bad?"

"I don't know. He just didn't like me."

"No, it makes sense. You were competition. You were my friend and James could not catch my interest at all. James wouldn't have stood for that, not with his big ego during that time. He was very egotistical throughout most of our years at Hogwarts, I won't deny it. He wouldn't deny it either. He knows he was a pain. James would have tried to take you down. I bet he wanted to humiliate you. He wanted to show off to me, but it backfired. I get it now. He knew you had a crush on me and he wanted me to perceive you as a fool and him as the better person. This changes everything."

"Not really. Everything's still the same."

Se nudged his side. "You know what I mean. I should have seen it. How could I have been so stupid?"

"You weren't stupid."

"I was stupid. It should have been obvious. Now that I think about it, you did give me some subtle signs that you were interested or attracted to me. I was just in denial."

"I did try, but I was a bit too shy to tell you outright. I wasn't Potter."

"But that's why we were friends. You weren't like him." Lily shook her head. "House rivalries too. Potter and Black and well, most of the other Gryffindors hated our friendship. A Gryffindor shouldn't befriend a Slytherin."

Severus looked at her, quite confused. She was jumping around in her thoughts too much, but he got the gist of what she was trying to say.

"I know. I felt the pressure as well. Not only was my best friend a Gryffindor, she was a muggleborn."

"You mean mudblood?" Lily saw him cringe. "I know that's the word they used."

"They did. I called people that. Toe the party line, right? I was the stupid one."

"No. We both toed the line." She scoffed. "The devil."

Severus looked at her in shock. "The devil?" He scratched his head. "What?"

"Not you." She scoffed again. "My housemates. You know what? Gryffindors reputation was of bravery, but there wasn't much of that. They were scared of the Slytherins."

"Scared?"

"Yes, the whole lot of them. Bullying isn't bravery. Berating others because they ended up in Slytherin and assuming they could be little more than followers of a twisted, sadistic man is terrible. Not all Slytherins became Death Eaters. They all wanted to know why we were friends and thought we should stop it because it would never work. We could never stay friends."

"I got that too. Cunning and ambitious is the motto, certainly, but bravery is minimal and naivety is prevalent."

Lily let go of his hand and gripped his arm. "I think you are very brave."

"Not when I was in school."

"You are now."

Severus took his hand and brushed her hair back before putting his hand on her shoulder. He gave her a warm smile. "You are the bravest Gryffindor."

"Why is that?"

"You are trying to pursue a relationship with a Slytherin and not just any Slytherin, but one who was a former Death Eater."

"Guess that makes you the bravest Slytherin. You have broken the mold."

"Another exiled Slytherin who couldn't make a respectable marriage. I was supposed to marry another half-blood. No Death Eater dares mate with a muggleborn or a muggle. It's sacrilege to the Dark Lord."

"Does it matter that you didn't stick with nonsense doctrine?"

"Not one bit." They leaned in closer.

"Are you worried about the backlash if You-Know-Who comes back?" She asked, stroking his hair with her fingers.

"No. We can worry about it then."

"Good, because I'm not going to let it stop us." Their lips touched. Lily wanted to wait to really pursue anything with him, but damn was it hard. In the mean time, she would enjoy the stolen kiss. If they wanted to make this work, she knew they could make it work.

_**A/N:**__ Yeah for a quick update, but I've been feeling too sick to do much else: (I'm not sure if I have a terrible head cold or if my sinus infection has come back with a vengeance. I've been running a fever the past two days. I feel like I have earphones stuck in my ears. Gah! Anyway, got a new chapter done so at least I am going something, right? _


	32. Chapter 32: Parting Ways

_Thanks to **Squirrely-Butt, 8thWeasleykid, vAMPkIMI, Shinywhiteboards, Girlylinnea, Sab756, BigBangTheory, Ice Kristea, Zireael07, Gyoro and Ururun, MarissaRosee** and **Ujemaima** for the reviews and well wishes!_

_8thWeasley and vampkimi: I think I did get the crude going around. I was at parents' house last week and all of them were sick (including my siblings). I'm sure I caught it from them. :( I hope you all get better too. This stuff isn't fun, but it could be worse. Better a little cold than a nasty stomach bug imo. I think the weather is part of the issue anyway. It is unseasonably cold here and I have a bad feeling I'm going to be in for a long, harsh winter._

_BigBang: I do that, sort of. I'll stop taking my allergy pills for a few days because I feel better and I pay with a sinus infection. Never fails._

_Ice: Lol, no more of James, his story has been said and done at this point. She wasn't really complaining, more telling, but all the cards are on the table. He may get a brief mention here and there, but there's not really anything else to say about them. No love making just yet, but it will heat up as time goes by._

_Squirrely: Some chapters may focus more on Severus and Lily since this mostly about them, but Harry is back in the picture. I'm not better yet, but hopefully soon. I hate being sick._

_Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm still sick. I think it is a cold. I only mentioned the sickness to excuse stupid mistakes temporarily, lol. Hopefully I will feel better by Monday. Being sick has given me an excuse to be lazy. Of course, that's because I haven't felt like doing much of anything. I actually watched some telemundo. I don't have cable and often don't watch tv._

_Also a funny: I watched an episode she had taped of the show about the family with 19 kids (19 Kids and Counting?). She had recorded it (Tivo?) and the commercials were on there. I heard the best thing ever: "This TLC program is brought to you by…Mirena!" I about died. Laughed so hard, I went into a coughing fit (stupid cold) and the old lady in the apartment below me told me stop the racket because I was interrupting her program. :/ Just thought I would mention this to try and cheer people up. It made my day!_

**Chapter 32: Parting Ways**

"_Immature love is wanting the other person to be happy only when they're with you. Mature love is wanting the other person to be happy, period." ~Unknown author~_

_Mid-August 1982_

Harry cranked the handle of his toy. The toy sang an instrumental "Pop Goes the Weasel." The toy popped open and a clown head popped up. Harry jumped in surprise and started to cry.

Severus was looking through his list of things he was going to need when he left for his teaching career in a two short weeks. He heard Harry start to cry and set the list down.

"Don't like toy!" Harry fussed.

"Here." Severus said as he handed him the new train set Remus had gotten him for his birthday. "Play with this instead of the silly jack-in-the-box."

Harry took the train set and stopped crying. Severus looked at the time. One more hour before Lily got back from her training. Harry had not been too bad to watch the past week, minus the occasional temper tantrum he threw. Severus had discovered yesterday that Harry's magic was very powerful. During a fit over taking a nap, he had actually managed to turn on the sink faucets in the bathroom.

Severus got his book, ignoring the list for now. While he read, Harry began to sing to himself. Severus raised his eyebrow as Harry mixed up several muggle songs together.

"Little star pop says weasel up the spout came rain teapots pour out."

"I think you are a bit mixed up."

Harry looked up at him, confused.

"Never mind." Severus turned back to his book.

Harry went to him a few minutes later. "I wet."

Severus sighed. "Wonderful." He got up. "Lay down so I can get you changed." Harry laid down while Severus changed him. "I think you should learn how to use the toilet instead of your pants, you know that?"

"No." Harry rolled over and got up.

"Yes, it'll make it easier. I'm sure your mother would appreciate it too. If you are old enough to tell me you are wet, you should be old enough to use a toilet."

Lily entered the house at that moment.

"Mama!" Harry ran to her.

Lily gave Harry a kiss on the forehead. "How's my baby?" She looked at Severus. "How was he?"

"Fine. No tantrums today. Have you considered toilet-training him yet?"

"Yes, it's about time to begin the process. Should be fun, right?"

"I highly doubt that."

"I sense the enthusiasm there."

"It just doesn't sound like a fun process to me."

"It's probably not, but it has to be done." She sighed. "So, any plans for dinner?"

"Yes, I was going to start it in a few moments. I didn't expect you home for another half hour."

"We finished up early. I'll help you fix dinner so it can get done faster."

"I take it you are hungry." He said as they made their way to the kitchen.

"Very." Lily set Harry in his chair with some paper and crayons before helping Severus with dinner. They enjoyed the time together, even if was as simple as fixing dinner. Here soon they would be living apart and both of their lives would be very busy.

_End of August 1982_

Severus snapped his trunk closed. He took it downstairs. Lily stood up from the couch when she saw him. She was a bit sad to see him leave, but she knew this would be a good opportunity for him.

"You are leaving already?"

"I need to be there soon."

She sighed. "I hope you enjoy your new job."

"I'm also stuck being a head of house too. Slughorn was the head of Slytherin before so now I have to keep up with more than teaching potions lessons."

She smiled. "Well, you will be kept busy."

"Yes."

"You are brilliant at potions though. You'll be great. Just don't be too hard on them." She said with a smirk. "Not everyone has the talent for potions and the younger ones are just learning."

"I'll try and remember that. I know muggleborns can be brilliant at potions as well. Look at how well you did."

"Yes, but not all of them will have the talent."

"I won't be too hard on them."

"Well, I hope you like the job anyway."

"I hope you enjoy finishing your training."

Severus impulsively took his hand and stroked her chin. He stroked the back of his hand across her face to the back of her neck. Lily's involuntarily tried to push his fingers away as he touched the back of her neck.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing." She said, trying not to giggle.

"Was I tickling you?"

"I'm not ticklish." She smiled, intending for him to touch her again to prove her wrong.

"No?" He touched the back of her neck again playfully.

"Stop." She said, laughing a little. "Okay, okay. It does tickle. I'm ticklish, you win."

Severus stopped and looked into her eyes. She looked into his, clearing her throat. She took her hand and touched his face. He clasped his on her back, just below her neck. As he leaned in closer to her, the front door suddenly burst open.

"Get away from her!"

Severus turned to see Sirius standing there. "What are doing here?"

"I came to get Harry. I am watching him while Lily goes for her training."

"I forget that Lupin's out of town. Sucks for Harry."

Sirius scoffed in disgust toward Severus. Severus knew Lily preferred Remus as Harry's caretaker. Only on the full moon would she not let Harry around him. Right before and after the full moon, Lupin was always exhausted, so she would not let him watch Harry, believing he should rest.

"Forget Remus. What I want to know is what you were trying to do to her?"

"Nothing that concerns you, Black."

"I heard her tell you to stop. What were you doing?"

Lily shrugged, looking a little guilty. "It was nothing, Sirius. We weren't doing anything."

"You don't have to stick up for him."

"We weren't really. I was joking. Really, we're fine."

Sirius put his wand down, looking skeptically between Severus and Lily. "What were you two doing?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, no. You two were doing something. Why are looking at him like that?"

"Like what?" She asked feigning confusion.

"Don't play dumb."

"I'm not. We weren't really doing anything."

"Oh sweet mother of Merlin, no."

"What?"

"You like him. You do. This isn't good."

"For who?" Lily narrowed her eyes. "You or me?"

"Anyone. You can't be with him."

"Why not?"

"James would never stand for it."

"James is dead and I am sure he'd prefer I be happy no matter who I ended up with."

"Don't talk about James like that!"

Lily looked at him in shock, anger bubbling inside her. She took a breath to calm herself before speaking. "Sirius, we have to accept the reality. James is gone. He's not coming back."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Of all the people you could be with, you pick him? You pick old Snivellus? You chose the former Death Eater? Have you lost your mind?"

"I have asked you to stop calling him that stupid name, Sirius. Don't you think it's time to grow up? You don't get a say in what I do with my life. There is nothing that says we can't be together."

"Slytherins and Gryffindors are never supposed to mix."

"Never supposed to mix doesn't mean we can't."

"You shouldn't."

"Why?"

"Because it's just not normal."

"You mean it isn't the status quo?" Severus asked. "I've not done much of that lately." He turned to Lily, who smiled back at him.

"I don't really like sticking with the status quo. We've already caused quite a stir as it is. Why not spice things up even more?" Lily touched Severus's arm, caressing it gently. "I think we can make it work. We get along fairly well and we have been able to compromise on things we can't really agree on so far."

"People will be so angry."

"Let them be angry." Lily said.

"They will hate you."

"They already hate us." Severus answered.

"Another thing we have common. We are both hated by the same people even if they hate us for different reasons." Lily spoke up before Sirius could speak again.

"You will lose everything by pursuing this. The backlash will be awful."

"I've lost a lot things, but pursuing this isn't losing. I feel like I've won."

Severus looked at her, a smile creeping up on his face. Lily leaned in and pierced his lips against her own. Severus gripped the back of her shirt, kissing her lips. Lily grabbed his robes at the shoulder blade, clutching tightly.

"Okay, I get it. You two are nuts. Stop already." Sirius spoke in aggravation.

They did not pay attention to him. "Nobody wants to see this. You should only do that in private."

They heard Sirius, but weren't listening to him. They were done with giving in to other's ideas of a perfect mate. Severus and Lily did not want or expect perfection. They wanted to be happy and right now they were happy with each other. Lily removed her lips for a moment. She took a breath. "Good luck this year."

"Same to you." He said, taking a breath as well.

"You'll come for visits, won't you?"

"Of course, whenever I can."

"We should have an official date sometime."

"We can do that. Go to some nice restaurant, just the two of us."

"Yes. Alone."

"It's settled then." He swung her down a little. She giggled.

"Swooning a little, are you?"

"Maybe." He kissed her lips and she fervently kissed his lips back.

"Come on, you two. Break up the silly love fest. We've seen enough." He paused. "Guys, kid in the room! Tell them to stop, Harry."

Harry looked up from the changing puzzle Severus had given him, oblivious to what was happening around him.

"Go tell them to break it up."

Harry clapped his hands. "Yeah."

"Don't applaud them, tell them to stop."

Harry looked confused.

"Oh, never mind."

Severus and Lily broke apart. "I like your kid, Lily."

"I think it's time for Lily to leave." Sirius said, aggravation dripping in his voice.

"Yes. You should be going to. See you in a couple weeks, perhaps?"

"Yes, of course. Couldn't stay away too long now, could I?"

"Take care of yourself."

"Bye, Lily."

They gave each other one final short kiss before parting ways. Severus stepped outside and apparated to the Hogwarts grounds. Lily gave Harry a kiss good-bye after Severus left.

"Bye, Harry. I love you."

"Bye, mama."

Lily apparated to the training grounds. It was going to be odd going home and not having Severus around. Still, she knew it was a good job and he was great at potions. It was hard to believe she was actually going to miss him. If someone had told her a year ago that she would have fallen in love with Severus Snape, she would have laughed at them. She would have wondered is the person had been mental. Who would have thought such nonsense? Of course, she would have been the one laughed at in the end. Here she was, almost a year from her late husband's death, in love with someone else. The last person she would ever have expected to be in love with too. They were already pursuing the relationship, but she didn't want it to get serious until the one year mark.

Severus entered the grounds and Dumbledore showed him to his quarters. They had a meeting that afternoon about rules and procedures this year. Severus was brought dinner by a house elf. He brewed some potions for his classes. It was going to be a bit odd being here without Lily and her toddler. It was oddly quiet in the dungeons. _The silence won't last once the students arrive Wednesday night. You may as well enjoy the silence while it lasts._ He thought to himself. He heard Peeves cackling in the distance. _Well, almost silence anyway._

As he sat down on one of the chairs in his quarters, he thought about Lily. He had always liked her, but after fifth year, when she had given him back his things, he knew the friendship was over. He had hoped that they would have been friends again once things had cooled down, but they never did. She clearly was not going to be friends with him as long he was friends with the wannabe Death Eaters. In the last term of their seventh year, he saw her with Potter and news had traveled that they were dating. He had been rather disgusted. Of all people, why Potter? Potter was so obsessed with her. He had been determined then to show Potter up. In some ways, he had hoped his power with the Dark Lord would have impressed Lily. He had a very small hope he would have maybe won her affection, despite deep down knowing he had no chance. Potter was wealthy and athletic. Things he wasn't. Potter could give her anything she wanted. He couldn't do that.

After graduation, he took the mark and right after, he found out the two had married. He had thought it very quick and wondered if she was pregnant. That disgusted him even more. He never heard about a baby, so he assumed that his original thoughts were untrue. Once he found out they were married, he had lost all hope of having a chance with her. It was over. As long as she was happy, he would just have to accept that he could give her happiness. If Potter made her happy, then he would have to live with that. He still felt that way. If she was happy and that happiness didn't include him, he'd have to accept that.

The other Death Eaters told him to cut his losses and find another girl, another half-blood like him. He would not have been "worthy enough" to be with a pure-blood because of his own half-blood status. They were always trying to find him a girl to shag. It never worked though.

It wasn't until he realized Lily was pregnant and the prophecy he had delivered was meant for her kid that he panicked, thinking his former best friend would be killed. He tried to persuade the Dark Lord to spare her, saying she could help them. He knew it wasn't enough and the man would still try to kill her if he could. He had contacted Dumbledore, telling Dumbledore he wanted to give him a message from Voldemort. It was lie though and he had begged for her protection instead. He had agreed to protect the family and agreed to do anything to save her. It was then he realized he knew he had not been able to forget about her. He still tried to put her out of his mind and he certainly did not expect to run into her last Halloween, hearing that Potter had been killed. Furthermore, he never expected to realize he never stopped liking her.

If someone had told him a year ago that Lily would fall for him, he would have told them they were living in a dream world along with a few other colorful words about where the person could go. Good things did not happen to him and he did not get anything he hoped for or wanted. Lily was no different. She was married to Potter, they had a kid, and she would not fall for him. He would have thought it absurd to think otherwise. Even when she had stayed with him, he did not expect her to fall in love with him. He expected her to leave. He expected some resentment on her part as result of having to live with him. She didn't though and had indeed fallen for him. Maybe not quite as much as he had her, but he hoped against hope she would get to that point.

He found himself smiling as he pictured her with Harry. He felt like this was all going to end soon. He never got the things he wanted or hoped for. Severus expected it to be taken away from him and he did not know why. He knew he was being pessimistic. He was happy with Lily, but he still felt unsure about making it work. _Don't be a coward_, he told himself, _you won't screw up, just take it easy, do what you've been doing, things will be fine. If she wants to move further, let her. If she wants to stay where she's at, let her. She's the one who has to take the time. She's the one who has to feel comfortable with any intimacy. The turtle won the race by being slow and steady in the fable. Slow and steady. _

Lily fed Harry dinner. "Eat your food, Harry."

"Don't like peas." Harry said, looking at his food in disgust.

"Then don't eat them, but you need to eat. Don't be stubborn."

"Don't like it."

"You like the meat."

"No."

"Harry." Lily gave him a look. "I'm not putting up with this. Now, eat."

Harry looked at her and folded his arms grumpily. He did not eat.

"Fine. Don't eat, but I'm not fixing you anything else. You eat what's on your plate or you don't eat."

Harry sat there stubbornly refusing his food. Lily sighed and continued to eat. As she finished, Harry decided he was ready to eat.

Lily thought about Severus while she cleaned up, wondering how he was doing. The students would be there in two days. She hoped he would be okay with his job and she hoped he would heed her advice to go easy on the young ones. She assumed he would be strict and expect them to work hard. Anything less would not work for him and she knew that.

It surprised her that she already missed him a little. She was used to having him here. It would take some getting used to being here by without him. She was already looking forward to seeing him again in a couple weeks. Things had calmed down with the press. The Death Eater trials were taking place and Rita Skeeter was busy with that instead of bothering them. She did tout her upcoming book about them, which Lily and Severus knew would have a bit truth and the other three-quarters would involve a lot of fabricated nonsense about the three of them. All of it would be insinuated as truth though. They expected nothing less from her. Still, things were calm for now. This meant they could move forward with the relationship whenever they wanted to without too much concern about reporters. They might finally get what they wanted: some peace, some happiness and for once, maybe a bit of normalcy for all three of them.

_**A/N:**__ Just thinking: If a pureblood is with a pureblood, they have a pureblood. Half and Half would make another half-blood, right? What would two muggleborns make? They'd be a witch and wizard, not muggles so their child wouldn't be born of muggles and therefore not a muggleborn? Do they lack a status? If a pureblood and a muggleborn or muggle have a child, it's a half-blood. Of course, a pure with a muggleborn wouldn't be half muggle since muggleborns aren't muggles, but witches and wizards born of muggles. What about a pure with a half? And what would a half with a muggleborn make? Would they still be half-bloods? Or do we now get three-quarters blood or a quarter blood? Although the concept is silly, we use these terms to describe children of mixed races, religions and ethnicities sometimes. "A quarter Indian, half Black/half white, etc." I was just thinking what the status would be if Severus and Lily had a child. My guess is a half blood in this context. Any ideas on the status of the child of a halfblood with a muggleborn? I know, I know, I clearly have too much time on my hands if I am thinking about all this, right? I'm not allowed to be at work because I have a fever. They made me go home last Thursday and I can't go back until my fever is gone. I still have one, so I have nothing to do right now. _

_Also, the mixed up song: A little girl I babysat did this. I thought it was cute and she was about Harry's age here so I thought I'd add it. I know each child is different in language too. Some children this age can't say much, others can only put two or three words together while others can have (mostly) understandable conversations. I put Harry toward the latter end. _

Lol, no idea why or how part of a much later chapter got on here. Sorry about that :/


	33. Chapter 33: Moving Forward

_Thanks to __**Sassymagpie, vAMPkIMI, Bookivore, Sithtar, Slythador, Squirrely-Butt, Twichild369, VerySmallProphet, Blazen, BigBangTheory, Gyoro and Ururun, Tricorvus, Darkprince31,**__**Girlylinnea, Sab756, MarissaRosee, Musicalfan2012, Ujemaima, Narutonarutolove **__and __**Jordina **__for the reviews._

_I am feeling much better, though I still have a bit of a lingering cough. Thanks for the well wishes. I wish you the same. _

_**Gyoro and Ururun**__ was my 500__th__ reviewer! Yeah! I tend to agree with you on the status thing, btw. _

_Ujemaima: Well, I wasn't kicked out. I left on my own accord, but if you aren't ready to leave home (and I understand that, living on your own is hard), there's nothing wrong with waiting. That's not nice of your father to say you are immature for not choosing their brand of religion/beliefs, but I can understand that. _

_Vampkimi: I hope you are feeling better now dear. _

_Bookivore: That was it! Thanks! I knew I read that was in the book. Also, I misspoke. (Foot in mouth), I meant all the women said they had no symptoms, but __**some**__ were preceded with a list of just that. I never meant to imply that it was impossible to not know. I know some women have conditions and are not sick at all. Lucky you to not have been sick. Most pregnant people I have known were ill, but not bad. Certain smells and things would make them queasy, but that was it. I know only know one who was very sick, couldn't even hold water down and ended up in the hospital as a result. _

_When people die, we tend to try to look at only good things and for Harry, who'd been through so much already, it was probably better to think things were good. Of course, people are good at hiding problems too. A person could be abused for years and no one would ever know because on the surface they seem fine and content. I'm not saying they were abusive though. James did not harm her here. He was, however, domineering and controlling in some ways. James may have "deflated his ego a lot", but that doesn't mean he wouldn't still have spoiled instincts, superiority complex problems or the desire to be in control. I liked Mr. Weasley as a character, maybe he kind of reminds me of people I know in different ways. I did not like Molly so much (I thought it was just me). I did not really care for Ginny either (a bit too perfect for my liking). I'm not sure if I will have Harry and Ginny together. Not because I don't want them together, but because I am still in debate about where to put Harry when he goes to Hogwarts. I think I know where I will have him go, but he has his mother and a family this time anyway. _

_VerySmallProphet: um, *looks guilty* I do that to people sometimes. I kind of wanted them to goad him a little, especially since he was wrong. ;) She has every right to forbid him, godfather or not. Sirius was spouting what they will hear from others if they chose to move forward. He was preaching to the choir though. They are well aware of the possible backlash. And no, Sirius does not have a right to determine anything for her. He's around only because he's the godfather of her kid and was her late husband's friend. They aren't even friends, which is part of the absurdity of it all. He has no say whatsoever. _

_Darkprince: Agreed_

_Squirrelly-Butt: A bit of both, but mostly together. _

_Jordina: My sister hates clowns. I think the Stephen King movie "It" scared her as a kid. Now the movie doesn't bother her, but she still thinks clown are creepy. When we saw Toy Story 3, she flipped at the clown. I've babysat some toilet training tots before, it's not fun, but it has to be done. _

**Chapter 33: Moving Forward**

_Early November 1982_

"Are you leaving?" Dumbledore asked Severus.

Severus turned to the doorway of his office. "I'll be back soon."

"I heard you two have been enjoying each other's company."

Severus stopped halfway through putting his coat through his sleeve and looked at Dumbledore. "What?"

"Sirius said you two gave a rather long display of affection before you left for Hogwarts. He is seeing some sparks between the pair of you."

"Sticking his nose continually in other's business as usual."

Dumbledore smiled. "Are you trying to prove something?"

"What exactly would I be proving?"

"I do not mean to imply that in a negative way. I am just a curious man. It's not everyday people on the opposite ends of the spectrum find compatibility and love."

Severus raised his eyebrow at the last word. "Are you trying to say we want to prove something thought impossible by this world's standards?"

"Are you?"

"No. Lily and I were friends before we started school and we were friends for most of our years here. The only thing that changed was my Death Eater leanings. Had I never gone that way we likely would have stayed friends. We became friends again after we what happened last Halloween."

"But you are two are now seeking something more than friendship."

"Perhaps we are. I don't see why it is anyone's concern except ours. So what if we were in different houses in school. We are not in school anymore and quite honestly, neither of us cares."

"You are far more intelligent than people give you credit for, Severus. You are quite correct that in the scheme of things it should not matter. Dividers are put up between people all the time. People, muggle and wizard alike, like to image themselves as superior in some way or another and in order to do that, someone has to be less. One cannot be feel superior unless someone else is inferior to them. In the human world, things divide us. A person's wealth, religion, social status, job, race, culture, education, anything and everything in life, people find a way to divide themselves. There is no real difference in any of them just as there is no real difference between those considered purebloods and those who are muggleborn."

"I don't see what this has to do with me or Lily."

"You care about her deeply."

"Yes."

"You love her very much."

"Yes."

"She cares deeply about you."

"I suppose."

"She does. She loves you as well."

"And?"

"People will get upset. You must expect that when they find out, and they will find out, backlash will ensue."

"You sound like Black."

"I mean no harm. I just want you two to be prepared. If you choose to pursue your relationship further, you will be criticized and hated more than you two already are."

"We are well aware of the possible reactions to it and we don't really care."

"That's good then. If it does work out, you two will be defying the odds once again."

"Yes, we've considered that as well. We would prefer, however, to not be headline news again. We do not like being stalked by an irritating reporter."

"I have no control over Rita or Bozo."

"Someone should gain control over them." Severus looked at the time. "I need to be going. I told Lily I'd meet her at one." He headed for the door.

"Severus?"

Severus stopped and looked up at Dumbledore, who was standing in front of the doorway.

"I know you love her and I know you are quite attracted to her, but if you two plan on taking it further, I would advise caution. You don't want her to end up -"

"If you are about to give me a talk about the birds and the bees, I can assure you I am well aware of the concept." Severus had great respect for the man in front of him, but he was not comfortable discussing something so personal.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Of course. Forgive the old man. I'm sure you will treat her well."

Severus started for the door. "If you hear from Black again, would you mind telling him to mind his own business? He won't listen to us. Maybe he'll listen to you."

"I would agree with you."

Severus put a spell on his door to keep students out and turned to Dumbledore in astonishment. "You agree with me about what?"

"I agree with both of you. It is not Sirius's business what you two do. I have discussed this with him already. He fears you will talk her into sleeping with you and that she will wind up pregnant."

Severus scoffed in disgust. "Hypocrite." He mumbled to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, sir."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow a little, but was smiling. "See you this evening at dinner?"

"Of course." Severus left the grounds and apparated home. He entered the house. He saw Lily sitting on the couch, watching the television set. She was probably watching the news. It was the only thing she ever watched.

"Are you still sick?"

"No, I'm fine. My cold is gone. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Daddy." Severus felt something thrust against his legs. He looked down to see Harry attached to him. He was not going to convince this kid he wasn't his father. Severus knew he may as well get used to it if he was going to be with Lily. He'd have to convince Harry one day that he was not his father.

"I think he missed you." Lily said, smiling.

_Wonderful. _He thought to himself. "Perhaps."

"Look what I drawed." Harry grabbed a picture and showed it to him. It was just a bunch of scribbles.

"How interesting."

"Okay, Harry, leave him alone." Lily said with a laugh.

Harry went back to stacking his Lego's. Severus set the picture down and sat beside Lily on the couch. She turned off the television set.

It was silent a moment. "How did the visit to Godric's Hollow go on Halloween?" He asked.

"I didn't go on Halloween. I figured people would want to visit that day. I kind of wanted to avoid all the questions some of them would give me. I didn't feel up to answering them."

"How are you doing now that you've crossed the year mark?"

"Better than I thought I'd be actually. I went the day before Halloween. Visiting the place brought some closure. I think it confirmed my reality."

Severus put his hand on her shoulder. She turned to him. "I'm glad you came today. I have missed you. There's no real rush, but now that the one year mark has passed, I feel more comfortable about us together. I do miss him. I'll always miss him, but I can't dwell on that anymore. I want to move forward."

"Good for you."

"I'm being serious here. Don't joke."

"Who's joking? I'm glad you are moving on."

"Of course you are." She rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She smirked at him. "You know what I mean."

"I am not pushing you into anything."

"No, you aren't and that's the problem."

Severus looked at her in surprise. "How is that a problem?"

"I don't know. Maybe I want you want you push me a little."

"You are the one who has experienced a loss, not me. You need to let me know what you are ready to do when."

Lily shook her head and sighed. He shrugged in confusion and spoke. "What?"

"You aren't willing to even try to pursue anything?"

"Of course, if I think you are up for it."

"I feel up for it."

"Then what do you want to do now?"

"Anything really." She paused. "Within reason though."

Severus was taken aback. "One step at a time."

"Yes, I rushed the last time and that was a bit of a disaster."

He knew what she was referring to. "Well, if we ever come to that point, we'll be much more careful."

"I expected that much. Don't take this the wrong way and I mean no insult to James, but I see you as being less, what's the word, reckless? I just see you as a bit more controlled in your behavior, but not controlling if that makes sense. Forget about James though. I don't want to focus on him or your differences."

"I don't mind that if they put me in a positive light."

"You just want me to bash him. I don't want to focus on him or my past with him except in the context of not making the same mistakes I made before. That means, as I've said, knowing more about each other before we do anything together, being careful if we do, and seeing if we are more compatible in our life's goals before we get married, if we get married. I feel pretty confident you won't be like him in the areas that troubled our marriage. You are just different, but I like that about you. I think we communicate our needs and wants well or we have so far, even if it was out of necessity."

"I agree."

"Good because I want to focus on the two of us, nothing else." She saw him nod in agreement. She decided to change the subject. "So, how long are you staying today?"

"About an hour or so. I have to be back for dinner."

It was silent again for a minute. Severus tugged at his collar as he worked up his courage. "Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing on Friday?"

"Nothing really, just training, why?" Lily looked over at him. She had a feeling what he was about to ask her. She hoped she was right.

"I was thinking maybe we could go to London for dinner?"

"Are you asking me out on an official date?" She interrupted.

"It doesn't have to be a date."

"Well, if it's a date, then the answer is yes."

Severus sighed to himself with relief. "It's settled then. Friday night. I'll pick you up at five?"

"That works for me. I'll let Remus know."

"Does he ever go out? On dates, I mean?"

"No. He says he doesn't want to get married. I guess it's the werewolf thing."

"His time of the month, you mean?"

"Very funny. I doubt he would appreciate you calling it his time of the month. Promise you won't say that to him." She was trying to be serious, but found herself smiling.

"Okay. I won't ask him about his time of the month, I promise."

Lily shook her head and sighed. "So, it's official then."

"What?"

"Us as a couple, dating. If anyone asks that is."

"Yes." Severus found himself smiling at that thought. Finally something good was happening. He had a small fear in the back of his mind that he would screw this up with her. He knew they would be fine, but his negative experience with getting what he wanted or hoped for had him on edge. If he could make this work, he would be pleasantly surprised. Thrilled, but pleasantly surprised.

Lily looked at him and thought he looked quite attractive in his robes. Then again, she thought he was attractive in muggle street clothes too. Oh hell, she just thought he was attractive period. He had a sort of dark, mysterious persona about him. His so-called greasy hair looked more like silk to her. She ran her fingers through his hair. He turned to her and cupped his hand against the side of her face. Her skin was so smooth to touch. He gently caressed the side of her face with his thumb. Lily grinned sheepishly. She needed to relax. No matter how attractive he was, she needed to pace herself.

"Damn." She said out loud without thinking.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what is it?"

She gave him a sly smile. "It's nothing really. I just noticed how attractive you look in your robes."

Severus felt himself grow hot at that acknowledgement. He had never been called attractive before. He felt like he should complement her back, but he wasn't sure if he should openly say he though she was attractive or not.

"Well," He cleared his throat. "I think you are beautiful no matter you wear."

Lily knew he meant that. He looked a little bit unsure if he should have admitted he felt that way about her. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips to show she appreciated the statement. He smiled at her.

"I know you mean that. Thanks. I don't agree with that. I bet I look terrible in the mornings without any make-up, still in my dressing gown and tousled bed hair."

"No. I think you are still beautiful and I've seen you without make-up, with bed hair and in your night gown."

It was Lily's turn to blush. "I guess you have."

"I have no idea why you think I'm attractive though. My pale skin, greasy hair and troubled past are not eye-catching in any way."

"We know a lot about each other's pasts yet neither of us have bailed. We've stuck by each other. I think that says something about your character. I do think you are handsome, but beauty is not just skin. It goes much deeper than that."

"That is quite cheesy."

She laughed. "Yes, but it's still true."

"Why would you want to be with me? Everyone else would run and I don't know why you don't too."

"I'm not everyone else. You should have figured that out by now. You are stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere." She moved closer to him until her hip touched his. He put his arm over her shoulders.

A log in the fireplace turned over, making the fire crackle and hiss. Snow fell lightly outside. Lily cuddled closer to Severus. She laid her head on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her arm. Lily took his free hand in hers, stroking the top of his hand intimately. They watched Harry move his train, making sounds as he rolled it along the carpet.

"Choo choo. In the tunnel." Harry drove the train into his messy Lego tunnel, making the train crash and the Lego's fly across the room. "Crash."

They both sighed silently in contentment. For once, they felt no fear of impending doom or trouble. It was as if this was how life was meant to be. This was their idea of bliss. Finally, some sense of peace and happiness.

_**A/N:**_ _About the blood question: I don't think the grandparents thing was either canon or an after. I assumed a muggleborn had two muggle parents. This could be debated, but I believe two muggleborns, in canon context, would be half blood in status because both parents are a witch and wizard. A low class half blood though. I'd call any child of Sev and Lily's a half-blood. Though I assumed the blood concept was really a divider and had no truth to it because it never mattered in terms of ability in canon. Just my thoughts. Hope this chapter was okay. To those who asked about my friends twins: They are still in the hospital, but one of them is off oxygen. They are having some trouble eating, but in general they are doing okay. _


	34. Chapter 34: Freudian Slip

_Thanks to __**Musicalfan2012, Jordina, Mrs. SRE Snape, Twichild369, Beauty and Bleeding,vAMPkIMI, Tricorvus, Smile-thebestthingintheworld, Zireael07, Narutonarutolove, Gyoro and Ururun, Darkprince31, Dancestar101, Ujemaima, Girlylinnea,**__ **Sassymagpie, Sab756 **and __**Ranma's Girl1 **__for the reviews. _

_Author's Notes: I have decided to not to use usernames in my author's notes anymore. I will continue to post about your questions and concerns however. Beauty has informed me that people are trying to stop replies in stories, even as author's notes. I'd hate to think that someone with a vendetta would flag my story because of my use of names so I am agreeing with her/him on this and I thank her (or him) for informing me of this issue. All my replies have been for anyone despite the use of name, but someone may not pay attention to that. I already send personal messages, but I will be doing that a lot more. Thanks for reading as always! _

_A couple readers asked about them being apart: I doubt being apart will screw it up. Sometimes it can, but sometimes it makes a bond stronger. A sort of "absence makes the heart grow fonder." _

_I figure in terms of racism, I am sure grandparents and ancestry back past there, does matter. I get it in some context, but not in others. Using Severus and Lily, if they had a child, it would have three grandparents who are muggles and one pureblooded grandparent. Technically they would be more muggle than wizard in ancestry, but their magical abilities would not be affected and they would still be considered half-blood(s) in canon context. Was I the only one who noticed that in canon the squibs all came from pures? Was that because of interbreeding perhaps? I think so. _

_About Albus and Severus: I guess I pictured a close relationship. A mentoring relationship of having each other's backs. I figure Severus probably considers him more of a father, better than his own no doubt. _

_Severus and Lily will not be doing anything more than maybe making out for awhile. I don't see anything wrong with sexual activity, but there is never a rush for those things. Lily made the error once before of rushing into it and that did not turn out well. I really hate the carelessness shown by the media regarding sex personally. I think sex can be a beautiful and pleasurable thing, but there can be consequences to such actions, especially if precautions aren't taken. A baby is a major responsibility and even though I am young, I have seen lives and relationships destroyed this way (including the baby, who never asked to be put in the situation in the first place.) Severus and Lily will not do anything with each other until they are comfortable enough with each other that if she somehow ended up pregnant despite protection, they are both prepared to deal with that consequence. Lily, more than Severus, needs to feel ready and feel comfortable that it won't be like before. So, yes, I will have them talk about sexual things between each other at times, there will be some sexual tension here and there (it happens), they will show forms of intimacy and attraction to each other (i.e. kissing, hugging, cuddling, caressing, sensual thoughts, loving attention and adoration toward each other, making out sometimes), but nothing more than that for awhile. _

_Another chapter up. Intelligent one here *points to self* did not pay attention to water on the stairs trying to get up to their floor and slipped, smacking their hip into the metal railing. Now I have a sore and purple hip. Lesson: Always pay attention to wet floor signs and do not run up steps even if you are in a hurry when there is caution sign. ; ) _

**Chapter 34: Freudian slip**

Lily took a deep breath as she fixed her hair, pinning it half up. It had taken her more than an hour to decide what to wear. She hoped she looked alright. She wanted this to work out. After her sixth year, she all but assumed she would never be friends with Severus again. They had gone their own ways and that was that. She never expected to meet up with him again and certainly never expected them to become friends again. The last thing she ever expected was to fall in love with him, but that was what she had done. Harry liked Severus and Severus was good with him. She figured Severus liked Harry, but she knew Severus was not always sure about young children. He had been an only child and was not around them much.

Harry came into the bathroom. "Mama." He clung to her leg, fussing a little bit.

She brushed his hair back gently. "What's the matter?" She rubbed his back. "Are you okay? You've been a bit fussy today." There was a knock at the door. "Remus is here. Let's go downstairs."

"Emus." He said, perking up a little bit.

"Yes, let's go say hi."

Harry let go and followed her downstairs. Lily opened the door.

"Come on in."

"Emus."

Remus scooped Harry up. "Hey, Harry, I think you've gained some weight." He laughed and looked at Lily. "Well, look at you all dressed up."

"I don't look terrible then?"

"Not at all. You look great, honest."

"Thanks." She looked up at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room by the fireplace. "He should be here shortly."

0o0o0o

Severus looked at the time. "Okay, Mr. Anderson, your detention is over. I hope you learned your lesson. There is no fooling around in potions."

"I thought my detention ended at five. Not that I'm complaining."

"I have somewhere I have to be at five. Your detention is over."

"Are you leaving the castle?"

"Yes."

"But I thought you were the head of your house? How can you leave?"

"I won't be gone for long and the heads will keep an eye on things while I am away."

"Where are you going?"

"That is none of your concern."

"Do you have a date?"

"Again, Mr. Anderson, what I do and where I go when I am not in class is not your concern."

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Do you have kids?"

"Yes, I have 100s of them."

The boy looked at him wide-eyed, clearly confused.

"It was a joke, Mr. Anderson. I have hundreds of students. I have no children."

"Oh." The boy paused. "Do professors have to quit if they get married?"

"No."

"So if you married your girlfriend you could still teach?"

"Yes, I would still teach."

"So you are going on a date with your girlfriend tonight?"

"I never said I had a girlfriend."

"Yes, you did. You said if you married your girlfriend you could still teach. Why would you say you would marry your girlfriend if you did not have a girlfriend?"

Severus sucked in air and clenched his teeth for a moment. He exhaled. "Mr. Anderson, if you do not get back to your house now you will spend tomorrow afternoon cleaning cauldrons." The blond-headed boy ran out of the office. "Walk!" Severus shouted and then grumbled to himself. "First years. They either won't talk or they won't shut up."

He got himself cleaned up and in nice muggle clothing. They were going into muggle London for dinner after all. He looked at his clock and took a deep breath. This was the first real date he been on and he hoped it would go smoothly. He left the castle and apparated home.

Severus opened the door and walked inside. Lily looked up from her and smiled when she saw him. He looked nice. She could tell he'd worked to make himself look good, but she thought he would have looked fine anyway.

"You look beautiful." He said, looking at her dress.

"Thanks. You look great this evening."

He handed her some flowers. "Something simple."

"Lilies?" She smiled. "They are beautiful. I'll go put them in water real quick." She went into the kitchen and put the flowers in a vase. They were beautiful mixed lilies. She went back into the living room.

Harry started to cling to her again. "Mama." He started to cry.

"What's the matter with you today? You aren't acting like yourself. Are you feeling okay?"

"He'll be fine. Maybe it's just a touch of separation anxiety."

Lily looked at Remus and shook her head. "I don't think so."

Severus looked at Harry and noticed he didn't look well. Harry began to cry as if he was in pain.

"Mama."

Harry started to act funny. Severus had a bad feeling about his behavior. This wasn't going to turn out well. "Lily? I think he's-"

Lily realized at the same time as Severus that Harry was not doing well. "Oh no." Before she could do anything, Harry began to vomit. She groaned to herself. "Great."

"Mama." Harry sobbed after he had gotten sick and reached his arms up at her, indicating he wanted to be held. She picked him up.

She cleaned up the carpet with her wand. "It's okay." She rubbed his back and turned to Remus. "I wondered if he wasn't feeling well. He was not acting like himself today. I just thought it was a slight fever though and nothing too serious."

Severus hated to cancel their dinner out, but he knew Lily would not have much fun if she knew her kid was home sick with a sitter. "I think you should stay here, Lily. We'll go out another time when Harry is better."

Lily felt a bit guilty. She had wanted to enjoy a night out too, but leaving Harry with a sitter when he was sick was not a good idea. "We can have dinner here and go out another time. I hate to cancel our plans completely."

"We can do that."

"I will head back home then." Remus said and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry for making you come out here. I didn't know he was sick."

"It's fine, Lily. I will see you Monday?"

"Yes, thank you."

"I hope Harry feels better." Remus brushed back at Harry's hair. "Get better, Harry, okay?"

"Okay." He mumbled back.

After Remus left the house, Lily conjured up a bowl and summoned a towel. She laid the towel on the couch and put Harry on top of it. She set the bowl beside him in case he got sick again. He fussed a little bit. She summoned his blanket from upstairs and put it over him.

"Do you want me to get some stomach soother?"

"That would be great. Just a little bit so he can rest."

Severus got some of the potion and handed it to Lily. She tried to give Harry the medicine.

"No, yucky." He shook his head in protest

"It will make your tummy feel better and you can go to sleep."

Harry did not protest again, only whimpered in defeat. Lily gave him the potion. He made a face. "Yucky."

"I'm sorry, Sev. It's not Harry's fault, but our plans are ruined."

"It's no big deal. We can still have a nice dinner here."

"Not as nice as the ones out."

"No, but good enough."

"I'll go see what I can whip up to eat if you will watch him in case he starts acting like he might be sick again."

"Sure." Severus sat down next to Harry. Harry whimpered a little. He sat up and crawled over to him. Severus groaned. _You better not throw up on me. _He thought to himself. _I don't want to change clothes. _

Harry laid his head against on Severus's chest, still whimpering. Harry fiddled with Severus's tie for a few minutes before falling asleep.

"I hope soup will be okay?" Lily said, coming into the living room a short while later.

"Fine." Severus set Harry down and put his blanket back over him.

"At least you got him to sleep."

"I didn't do anything. He just crawled into my lap."

"Still, it worked. Maybe he will sleep off his upset stomach."

"Hopefully." Severus got up. "I'll help you fix dinner."

They fixed the meal and sat down to eat.

Severus started the conversation. "So, things have been good here?"

"Yes, actually. Training is great and I had tea with some of the neighbors on Wednesday."

"The gossipy ones you wanted to avoid?"

"They talked me into it. It wasn't that bad. One lady has a boy a year older than Harry. They played together for awhile. His mum said he had just gotten over a bug the day before. I think that's why Harry is sick now."

"Figures."

"He must have still been contagious though he was fine and had plenty of energy when the boys played together."

"She should have kept him home. Now our kid is sick because of her kid."

Lily paused in shock. Did he just say what she thought he did? "What did you say?"

Severus raised his eyebrow. Why was she looking at him like that? "He got Harry sick?"

"No, that's not what you said. You said he got _our_ kid sick."

Severus shook his head. "I didn't say that." He didn't say that. He would not have said that.

"Yes, yes, you did. You said our kid."

"I didn't mean that. Harry's not my kid."

"I know, but you did say he was our kid."

He paused. "I made a mistake." Harry was not his kid. Harry would never be his kid. He did not think of Harry as belonging to him in anyway. Maybe he had grown a little bit attached, but he had lived with the toddler for more than a year. He had come to think of the brat has Lily's son despite how much the boy looked like Potter. The child was all Lily in his personality, minus his occasional tantrums. The tantrums reminded him of Potter.

"Indeed." Lily said, but grinned. She thought it was a Freudian slip, especially when she saw him get a little defensive at his mistake. She decided to change the subject though, knowing he would not admit to anything right now.

"Sev?"

He looked at her. "Hmm?"

"Do you plan on staying at Hogwarts? I mean, long term?"

"I think so, yes. Why?"

"I was just curious if you had any other plans."

"No. I don't know what else I would do."

"It's a bit early to think about, but would you want to get married at some point. Not any time soon obviously, but ever? With anyone?"

"Sure, why not?"

"What about children? At some point much, much later. I promise I don't mean now."

"I never thought much about it. I know you'd like one."

"I would at some point if we pursued things further between us. One more child would be fine with me."

"I'm sure Harry would like a sibling."

"I think he would. I just wondered if that would be a possibility with you, if you wanted one or were at least okay with me having one more child if we got to that point."

"I'd be okay with it if you wanted to have one, though not any time soon."

"Absolutely not any time soon." She laughed. "What if I wanted ten children?"

"I'd say you lost your mind." He looked at her like she had lost her marbles. Lily thought he also looked a bit panicked.

Lily laughed. "I'm joking. One more would be enough."

"Good." He set his spoon down right after Lily did. "It's a quarter to six. I told Dumbledore I would be back at eight."

"We can watch one of the muggle movies?"

"They are silly, but I guess we can." A movie would give her the excuse to cuddle up with him on the couch. He wouldn't mind that no matter how ridiculous the muggle movies were.

They got up from the table and cleaned up the kitchen before going into the living room. Harry was sound asleep on the couch. They sat on the other side of the couch. Lily turned on the television and started the movie.

Severus thought it was fairly asinine with some comedic things thrown in. It wasn't until he heard the word "witch" that he perked up and really began to pay attention to the film. They both listened closely.

"_She turned me into a newt!" one of the muggle men in the film said. _

"_A newt?" Sir Lancelot asked. _

"_I got better." The muggle man said. _

The scene continued with odd reasoning and ways to prove someone was a witch. _"Burn her!" The men shouted._ Severus felt his blood boil a little.

Lily looked at Severus, who shook his head. "Stupid muggles."

"It's just a movie."

"But that stuff really did happen. People used to burn witches or people accused of being witches."

"I know that. Even other witches and wizards want to get rid of each other. Fear does strange things to people."

Severus stopped at that. "Sometimes it does." She turned to her. "I can't believe they lent you this film though."

"It's not like they know I'm a witch." She said with a chuckle. "She did not mean any harm in lending me the film."

Harry woke up at that moment. "Mama."

Lily looked over at Harry. He started to cry and Lily had a feeling he was about to be sick again. She got up and managed to get the bowl under his head just before he got sick again. Lily handed Harry to Severus while she cleaned up. Harry continued to whimper.

"Maybe he should have a warm bath."

"A warm bath would be a good idea. Can you go draw up one? I'll be there to help in a couple minutes."

"Of course. Come on, Harry, let's go give you a bath." Severus took Harry upstairs and set him down on the bathroom floor. He started up a bath and got Harry in the tub. Lily came up a few minutes later and they gave him a quick bathing.

"His face is a little flushed. I think he has a fever." She told Severus as she rinsed Harry's hair.

"I noticed. A good night's rest should help." Severus looked over at her. "Will you be okay here by yourself?"

"I have been fine so far."

"I meant with a sick child. I hope you aren't up most of the night."

"I'll be okay. I'm used to handling things alone."

"But that doesn't mean you have to." He cleared his throat after he said that.

Lily felt herself smiling. So far, she was thinking this was probably going to work out between them. Tonight was proving to her that he was definitely a keeper.

Severus started to drain the tub as Lily dried Harry off.

"I'm going to go get some stomach soother for Harry." Severus said and left the bathroom. Lily picked Harry up and took him to his bedroom. She got him dressed in his night clothing and waited for Severus. He came back up and saw Lily toweling Harry's new bed. He handed her the medicine.

"You can give it to him. He won't bite."

"Too hard, you mean?" Severus joked. "He does have teeth after all."

"True." She chuckled.

Severus gave Harry the medicine. Harry swallowed it, making a face.

"He must be sick. He did not even try to protest this time." Lily said as she put Harry in his new bed and read him a short story. He drifted off to sleep quickly.

"I see you finally got him to sleep in his new bed."

"Yes. It took a couple rough evenings, but he got used to it and has been sleeping though the night the past week. He likes his new bed."

"So that's one thing task completed."

"Yes. Now it is time to consider toilet training. That will take longer than a couple rough evenings."

"Of that I have no doubt."

Lily turned off Harry's light and left the room. "We still have a half hour before you have to go back."

"And?"

"We have that time to ourselves like we wanted this evening." Lily headed back downstairs. Severus followed her. She fixed some hot chocolate and they sat down next to each other at the table.

Lily took his hand in hers on the table. "Thanks for keeping me company this evening and for helping me take care of Harry."

"It was no trouble at all. I just wanted to spend time here with you."

"You are a really great person, you know that?"

"I don't know about that."

"I do."

"So I haven't screwed up anything so far with my comments."

"Absolutely not. If anything, I feel confident about us. I think I like you even more after tonight. I am rather smitten."

He smiled."Are you now?"

"Quite smitten." They moved closer and kissed each other's lips. "You taste like chocolate." She laughed.

"So do you." As they locked lips again, Severus slid his hands to her back as she slid her arms around his neck. A knock at the door pulled them apart.

Lily cleared her throat. "I guess I should go answer the door."

"I guess so." He watched her leave the kitchen. He had not wanted to stop, but still, it was nice way to end the evening. Severus looked up at the clock. It was five till eight. He needed to get back to Hogwarts. He got up and went into the living room.

"Who was at the door?"

"Next door. Their rabbit got loose."

"How many pets do they have?"

"Too many." She chuckled. "Are you leaving?"

He nodded. "I need to go back."

"Already?"

"Yes. I have to be back at eight. I will see you soon though. Next Friday? A real date night?"

"Out on the town?"

"Yes, at a nice restaurant too."

"Sounds lovely. I'll see you Friday. Have a good weekend."

"You as well. I hope you stay healthy and Harry gets better."

"Same to you. Stay well." They gave each other a quick kiss good-bye before Severus apparated to Hogwarts.

Lily shut the front door and sat down on the couch. It suddenly seemed quiet in the house and a bit lonely. She was happy that his job was working out okay so far. She wished he still lived with her though. When he was here every day she had someone, who was her age, to always talk to. He understood her position. No one else could relate to their unique position and no one could understand her better than he did. No one listened to her and comforted her the way he did. The relationship between them had been rocky at times, but now, things were different. They were different. They had both grown up quite a bit and what she saw in him gave her butterflies in her stomach in the best way. Lily never would have guessed she would be weak at the knees at the sight her childhood best friend, but he made her feel that way. It was a feeling she liked and a feeling she did not want to end. She hoped it never would.

Severus entered the castle and headed for his quarters for the night. It was past curfew and all the students were supposed to be in their dorms.

Severus entered his quarters with a heavy sigh. It was quiet in his room. A slight pang of loneliness hit him as he showered and got into his night clothes. He had gotten so used to the noises of neighborhood life and living with two other people, one of whom was a toddler, that it often seemed too quiet here. He liked the quiet normally, but he preferred to be with Lily. Things went okay tonight, but he expected to screw up at some point. He had screwed up everything once. He was determined to not screw it up again.

_**A/N:**__ movie they watched: "__**Monty Python and the Holy Grail.**__" I haven't seen it in ages, but it suddenly came to my mind when writing this so I made it the movie they watched. The witch burning scene would certainly be interesting for them, wouldn't it? I need to watch it again sometime. _


	35. Chapter 35: Letters and Notes

_Thanks to __**Tricorvus, Ujemaima, Slythador, Gyoro and Ururun, Sab756, Girlylinnea, VerySmallProphet, Larka-Chan, DarkPhoenix-24, RedStalkingDeath, MarissaRosee, Narutonarutolove, Ranma's Girl1, **__**Jordina, Squirrely-Butt, AnnaRogueMarieHowlett, **__and **Docsgirl234** for the reviews. _

_My fault last chapter. I made an error with my dates and technology. I will make a simple change and have them see the movie on broadcast. No big deal. Thanks __**VerySmallProphet **__for pointing that out. _

_I loved Monty Python. I haven't seen any of the films in a long time though. I don't know what made me think of the Holy Grail when I drafted the last chapter, but it came to my mind. Maybe it's my British Literature class. I had to read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight recently and had a test on it last Thursday. It's about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. _

_I have watched a lot of tots around Harry's age and in my experience, they do not always cry if they don't feel well. Sometimes they do, but a lot of times they are just whiny or fussy depending on the illness. Sometimes they just won't leave you alone and don't act "right."(i.e. more lethargic, uninterested in play or not playing as long as normal, normally independent child suddenly becoming clingy, etc.) Kids that age can vomit without any warning at all sometimes. I know: it has happened to me before. :/ _

_I was not flagged, but I was warned that people have been flagged for similar "offenses." I will still give my thanks list of names each chapter because I want to thank those who took the time to review my chapter/story. I will still answer questions and concerns if I can without giving too much away. No name will be attached though. Many of my readers like that I respond so I hate not doing it, but I would rather keep this story up. If you asked a question or had a concern and I think it's something others may want to know too, I will still answer you here. Look for it. _

_Need to send some messages to you all. I have been crazy busy this past week. _

_*I changed one aspect of this because I got a review and a pm complaining about how I made Lily snatch the papers. I didn't see the way they did, but I made her take them in a different way now. She was not going to read them originally, but I just don't see anything wrong with her wanting to know what he is hiding and why he is being so suspicious. In fact, I think she should know. They should not be hiding things from each other right now. Severus was being a bit paranoid in thinking she would hate his silly notes to her. Lily was just curious, nothing more. She doesn't want him to hide things from her. I would be the same way. If there is a problem, if he was cheating, if he was being harassed by someone, if he was fired, she would want to know, even if those things are hard to admit. Severus just has a harder time admitting things and he made this situation into something it wasn't. Lily needs to be able to trust him just as he needs to be able to trust her and the point was to show that. _

**Chapter 35: Letters and Notes**

_Late December 1982_

Severus opened up his trunk and started to put his things up since he would home for the next couple of weeks on winter break. At the bottom of the old suitcase was a piece of folded up paper. As he pulled it out from the corner of the case, more papers tumbled out. He sat down on his bed and opened the first letter up. It was his own scribbled handwriting, a letter he had written when he was sixteen. He had forgotten he had ever written that letter or the other notes he had penned. As he finished reading the notes, Lily entered the room. Severus had been so focused on the papers in his own hand that he had not heard Lily coming.

"What are you reading?"

He jumped slightly, clearly startled by her presence. "Nothing." He said quickly, folding the papers back up quickly. He did not want her to see his scribbled nonsense.

"What are you hiding?" She asked curiously.

"Nothing. Just some old papers I found from when I was younger, that's all." He was quick to block his thoughts and emotions so she would not suspect anything. However, he knew that Lily was quite adept at figuring him out despite his shields. He could fool the Dark Lord easily. Lily was not easily fooled by his behavior. It puzzled him how she had managed to do it. Then again, she had spent more time with him than anyone and she knew his habits and behaviors better than anyone. Lily did not know everything about him. Far from it in reality, but she could often sense when something was wrong or he was not telling her something.

"What does it say?"

"Nothing. I'm going to destroy it." He tossed the papers into the wastebasket.

"Why?" She laughed. "What did you write on here?"

"Nothing. Just some old school stuff."

"Why do I doubt that?"She snatched the papers from the basket.

"Hey, don't read them."

"I wasn't going to read them, but why not? What's on them?"

"Just silly stuff I wrote in school."

"I'm not buying that. Now you have me curious. What did you write about?"

"Lots of things. Not stuff you want to read. Trust me."

"I would love to read stuff you wrote in school."

"It's not important."

"Then why is your face turning red and why are you acting so nervous?" She asked with a smile.

He touched his face unconsciously. He gathered himself quickly. Damn, he sucked with his shields around her.

"I am not red or nervous."

"Your cheeks are redder than tomatoes. You realize your skin is rather pale and even when you get a little warm; your cheeks turn slightly pink? When you are embarrassed, they turn blood red. You are hiding something from me. I want to know what it is."

"Why would I hide something from you?"

"Because you don't want me to know something."

"That's not what I mean. I wasn't asking for a definition. I meant I have nothing to hide."

"Then I will read the papers." She began to open it.

"Don't read them. It's dumb stuff. Give it here." He attempted a spell to get it back, but Lily noticed and struck back, preventing him from taking the papers.

_Bingo!_ She thought. He did not want her to read it for some reason. "You are hiding something."

"No, I'm not. Just give me the papers."

"I don't think so. I think I ought to know what's in here. Is it about a girl?"

He looked at the paper. "Who said it was about a girl?"

"It is."

"You are assuming."

She ignored him. "Did you have a girlfriend you never told me about?"

"No. Just give me the papers."

Lily smirked, disregarding his protests. "Is the girl someone I know?"

He gave a small smile. If she only knew the truth, she would be surprised. Yes, he did say he had a bit of crush on her in school. Still, he never told her anything else.

"So she is someone I know?"

"Fine. It's a letter. They are mostly small, pointless letters and because they serves no purpose, I will throw them away."

Lily looked at him and felt herself smile. She ignored his intentions to get the papers back and get rid of them. "Was this girl once your friend?"

Severus did not want to answer these questions. There was no point to the letters. Why did she have to so suspicious? She did not want to see what he had written.

"Why do you suppose it was a girl I wrote to?"

"Just a feeling. Now will you answer my question and stop skirting around it."

"No."

"She was a friend then." She watched Severus's behavior. He seemed calm and unalarmed at that, but she knew he wasn't answering because she was right. Suddenly, it hit her. Was the main letter to her? She had to find out. "Was she your best friend?"

This shook him a little. She noticed. Maybe it was about her. Now she had to read them.

Lily sat on the bed and smoothed out the letter.

"Don't read it."

"You read it to me then."

"No. I prefer to burn it."

"I want to read them before you do that. I want to know what you wrote that you are being so secretive about."

"Give me the papers." He said, coming over to his bed with his hand out. Severus had to get those papers from her. She would surely hate to know his thoughts as a stupid teenager. He hated his own thoughts.

"I don't think so. You'll have to make me give them to you. Don't try any magic. I'm prepared for it."

"Fine. I'll have to try another way." He smiled impishly as he thought of a way to get her to give it to him. He wasn't the nicest way to get it back, but it also would give him the chance to touch her. Severus started to move his fingers across her stomach and her neck.

She started to laugh. He was not playing nice. He knew some of her weak spots. "That's not fair." Two could play this game and she wasn't about to lose. Lily wanted to know what he had written and what the big secret was now. She knew some of his weak spots as well. She caught her breath long enough to touch reach under his arm and move her fingers around the area. He twitched with a smile and stopped tickling the belly for a moment to stop her from touching him where he was ticklish.

"You aren't allowed to do that." He joked.

"Who says? I don't play fair or nice when my opponent won't either."

"Fine, no more playing nice All is fair." He started to tickle her again. She managed to return the favor. The papers lay at the side of the bed instantly forgotten. They playfully tickled each other, laughing.

"Okay, time. I need to catch my breath." Lily caught her breath. He caught his breath as well. She looked up at him. His arms straddled her chest on the bed. Their eyes met. He leaned in closer to her and gave her a kiss. It was a short kiss because they were interrupted.

"What are you doing?"

They both turned to see Harry standing in the doorway. "Nothing." They said at the same time.

Harry came over to the bed. "Do you need a time-out?"

"No, honey. We aren't being mean. We were just playing." Lily said.

"What were you playing?"

"A grown-up game." Severus chimed in.

"What are you doing up?" Lily asked.

"You were loud."

Severus and Lily looked at each other guiltily. They hadn't realized their playful flirting would wake him up.

"We are sorry. We were just playing. You can go back to bed. We'll be quiet." Severus said. "I'll take him back to bed."

Severus got up and put Harry back to bed. He went back to his bedroom and shut the door most of the way to deafen the sound. He sat on the bed beside her.

Lily sat up and grabbed the papers.

"Was the girl friends with you at the time you wrote the letters?"

Severus felt his smile fade.

"We weren't friends when I wrote them." He finally admitted.

"Did you have another crush I don't know about?" She teased.

He did not answer her.

Lily felt puzzled now. Who were the letters for if not for her? Who was the other girl he liked? She wanted to know. Not because it mattered, but because she was curious about him and wanted to learn everything she could about him. "When did you write them?"

He decided to just let her know why she shouldn't read the pathetic letter. "I wrote the first letter the summer after we stopped being friends."

Lily's smile faded and she swallowed hard. It was about her after all. "Why would you write to me?"

"I wrote an apology, a letter to you."

"You wrote me an apology letter?"

"I wrote you an apology and I wrote other things. They were stupid."

"Why didn't you give it to me?"

"I figured you wouldn't read it. I figured you would just rip it up."

"I wouldn't have done that. I would have read it even if I was mad at you."

"No, you wouldn't have. You would have hated it and me even more I am sure."

"Why would you think that? An apology letter would be expected. I would have read it first. Then I might have tossed aside depending on the sincerity of it."

"It was sincere. Trust me though when I say you would not have been happy with me after reading it. I was too embarrassed to send it." He admitted.

"Why?" She felt completely puzzled about the letter now. Why not just send the apology? What else was on there that he did not want her to see?

"Just some thoughts and things."

Lily looked at him. He had said he had a crush on her. Had it been a confession of that love for her? She opened the letter all the way.

"I promise you that it is terrible and I apologize. You really should not read it."

"I want to. I have to know now."

_Dear Lily, _

_I know you hate me right now and I don't blame you one bit. I hate myself for it. I never, ever should have said that to you. It was wrong and cruel. I deserved your backlash. I deserve the loss of our friendship. I know it is my fault alone, but I don't want us to stop being friends. I want us to always be friends. I know, I know, that was a stupid childhood promise, but I really wanted to keep it. _

_Why would I bother with this letter? I don't know. I know you will never talk to me again, but I hate that thought. I love you. You are probably pissed off right now for me saying that. You are probably livid with me for admitting this and I don't blame. I never meant to hurt you. I was not mad at you. I should not have taken my anger and embarrassment out on you. It was never your fault. Your blood is not dirty. I will never feel that way about you. It may sound absurd, but it is true. I secretly have a big crush on you. I can't help it. I think you are pretty. You are a wonderful person. I don't care what anyone else thinks, you are best witch in the school. I am not flattering you either. I mean every word I say. _

_You can throw this away. I know you do not feel the same way about me and I just completely embarrassed myself by sending this to you. I just needed to tell you the truth. I had to let you know how sorry I am even now. _

_Love, _

_Sev_

Lily looked up at him. He was fooling with the stuff in his suitcase. "You should have sent it."

"What?" He asked, turned his attention back to her.

"You should have sent it. This letter. It would have changed a lot of things."

"I doubt it."

"I don't. I never knew you liked me. If I had known, lots of things would have suddenly made sense."

"What would you have done with the knowledge that I had a huge crush on you?"

"A lot of things." Lily looked at the other papers in her hand and continued to read.

_Dear Lily,_

_I saw you with Potter today. He was all over you. It's probably my imagination, but it looks like he was enjoying himself and you didn't seem so sure. I think I just want to believe you aren't happy with him because I wish you could find someone better. I am probably not better, but someone else besides Potter or Black. I hope you are happy with him. If he makes you happy then you deserve to be happy. He can give you everything you want. He's smart and rich and experienced and I am sure all those pathetic girls are jealous of you. They would not feel that way if you were with me. But I still grieve for us and our lost friendship and the relationship I wanted to have. I hope for the best and I bet you will have no trouble fulfilling the dream of yours to be an Auror. _

_February 24, 1978_

_Dear Lily, _

_I saw you today, but you don't know it. You were upset. I didn't know why. You looked so miserable. I hate seeing you cry. What upset you so much? I wanted to go over and comfort you, but I knew you would run if I tried. It took everything in my power not to ask you what happened. I wondered if James had done something to you. If he did, I would make him pay dearly. If I ever find out that he hurt you, he can expect a visit from me and a hard sock in the face and a sectumsempra. That's not a threat, but a promise. I want to believe you are happy. I really hope you are. I would hate to think you are not._

_May 25, 1978_

_Lily, _

_I heard that you are engaged to Potter. You looked miserable at the ceremony the other day. You looked a little ill when I saw you later at the celebration of our graduation. Potter was trying to get you to eat something. I thought you were going to be sick. He did not seem to see that. Were you arguing with him? I wonder why you would marry someone like him. Don't tell me he got you pregnant? I would, well, I don't know what I'd do, but I have a bad feeling that if he did get you pregnant, it proves how careless he really is. I hope whatever upset you had more to do with you not feeling well than something else being wrong._

_July 1, 1978_

_Lily, _

_I saw you today when I was leaving work and I saw you alone. It was cold outside. I've thought about you a lot. I hope you are still happy with Potter. You did not seem happy earlier. In fact, you looked dejected. I hope that wasn't Potter's fault. I have seen you here and there from time to time and you never have a smile on your face. Why? That's not the Lily I remember. The Lily I knew was happy and vibrant. She was beautiful and optimistic. Every time I see you now you look so forlorn and depressed. You seem so morose lately. You were looking at the ground, not speaking to anyone. Your eyes seemed lonely and were glassy as if you were trying not to cry. Why? Is it the war? Are you worried about your life as a muggleborn? I am a Death Eater and I will never harm you and I will not let them touch you, I promise. I'd rather die than let them lay a finger on you. I worry that it is Potter that has made you so unhappy. Maybe I just want to think you are unhappy with him because I don't like him. I really hate seeing you look so troubled. _

_January 15, 1979_

_Lily,_

_I saw Potter today. He was with his usual gang. I wonder where you were? Probably home by yourself. At least you don't have to deal with Potter for the evening. I heard him talking and if I wasn't working at the time, I would have hexed him for what he said. Why would you marry him? Why Lily? How could you marry someone who would talk about you in such a degrading way? He's a complete asshole. He has not changed one bit. The werewolf seemed to be only one with some sense, though I would advise you not to marry him either (as if my advice matters to you). You need to leave him and find someone else. You can't tell me there aren't better wizards. No, I don't think you would be with me, even if I would love that. You could still do better than Potter. _

_February 6, 1979_

_Lily, _

_I saw you with Potter yesterday. I saw him try to kiss you and you turned away. He said something to you and you did not look very happy. He's your husband, yet you almost seemed uncomfortable around him. I wonder if everything is okay between the two of you and if you are happy. I want to believe you are content with your life. Are you? I don't see it sadly. I would really hate to think you are miserable because of him, no matter how much I despise Potter. Is it the fact that he flirts with other women that upsets you? I hope he hasn't cheated on you already. If he did, he's an ass. I wouldn't be that surprised though. This is Potter we are talking about. _

_March 15, 1979_

_Lily,_

_It's been a long time since I last saw you. Yesterday, you seemed more like the Lily I know. You weren't smiling, but you did not look quite as forlorn as before. I wish you would smile though. You have a beautiful smile. I have missed seeing it. _

_August 2, 1979_

_Lily, _

_I did something terrible. I did not know, Lily. I honestly did not know. I never would have done it if I had known it was meant for you. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought the Dark Lord would pick you for the prophecy or your child. I have pleaded with Dumbledore to hide you and the Dark Lord to spare you. I don't know what else to do. I would give anything to go back and change it. It was just a dumb prophecy. Why he believed it mattered is beyond me? Sorry will never be good enough._

_November 3, 1979_

_Lily,_

_Today you were with Potter. He looked super proud and seemed to be showing you off like some sort of prize. You did not seem to like it much. To be fair though, you did seem a little sick. Just like at the graduation party, he was not showing you much consideration. I really thought you were going to vomit, yet he seemed to not care one bit about your illness. If it were me, I would have taken you home. No, I guess being with his buddies is far more important. Never changes. I hope you are feeling better. _

_December 1, 1979 _

_Lily, _

_It's been a long time since I saw you. I saw the back of you once back in March. I heard you had a baby. I saw you with him today. You had the baby wrapped up in a blanket. For the first time in a very long time, I saw you smiling. I hate that the baby is a spawn of Potter. The world does not need more Potters, Lily. However, if anyone can keep a Potter spawn grounded and give the brat any hope in the world, it would be you. I bet you will a great mother. I am glad you finally seem happy. _

_August 10, 1980_

_Lily, _

_I hope you are happy with your life. I saw Potter when I was leaving work today. He was with his usual gang. Left you home with the baby so he can have his good time, I bet. You three seem like a happy little family. I hope you are safe and content with your life. I hope no harm comes to you. You were right. I would love to apologize for everything I did and tell you that you were right all along and I should have listened to you. Becoming a Death Eater is just more regret I have that relates to you. I think I have a list of mistakes on my part regarding us. I can't just knock on your door or write you a letter and tell you this though. You would think I had gone mental. _

_June 17, 1981_

Lily cleared her throat and looked up at Severus. "I didn't know you really thought about me that much after everything that happened between us."

"I never stopped thinking about you and my terrible mistakes. I can say sorry forever, but it will never be enough."

"It's enough for me. I know you are sorry. You've proven that. I never knew you noticed my sadness. I didn't know you saw me upset in school. That was the night after Potter and I, you know. I was mad at myself and him, but mostly myself. You noticed I was sick during graduation?"

"I did notice. I remember Potter not seeming to care that you were not feeling well too."

"He just didn't get it. I was already experiencing morning sickness at that point. The smells were nauseating to me. I don't remember what we argued about. He had less compassion for me at that time. He was better about it during my pregnancy with Harry. Looking back, he was a jerk. He would admit it."

"I didn't know you were pregnant, but I knew you were feeling sick to your stomach. I wanted to tell you to go lay down in your dorm and take some stomach soother."

"I know you would have." She tucked a lock of her hair back and smiled at him. "That's one of the reasons I have fallen for you." She sighed. "It's getting late. I have training in the morning."

"I have always loved you and I will never stop loving you." He told her as she got up from his bed.

"You and I have a long history. I have always cared about you. I hope to never stop loving you." Lily gave him a kiss. "Night, Sev."

He kissed her back. "Night, Lily." She left the room. He folded up the papers and stuck them in a drawer. They may have been silly writings, but she clearly liked them anyway. He should not have been so worried about her seeing his pathetic thoughts about her. Nothing he had said or done so far was turning her off. No matter what they were discovering about each other, it wasn't ending their relationship. Instead, all the things they were learning about one another seemed to be making them closer.

_A/N: I need to come up with another good cliffhanger. I have missed writing them, but haven't really had a good one. I need to come up with some more. Also, remember that many of the letters were written during the time when Lily and James were having a lot of problems. Severus did not know this. Even though James is mentioned here, he really is not the point or focus. It's about Severus and Lily. And there seems to be conflicting information about whether it was the fall of 1979-when Lily was barely pregnant or the fall of 1980-when Harry was an infant when Severus switched sides and asked to keep Lily safe. I've seen both stated. HP wiki says Lily was still pregnant when they went into hiding, therefore it would have to be the fall of 1979. Others say Lily would have had to have had Harry because they mentioned "her son". Maybe wizards find out the sex of the baby right after they realize they are pregnant? Maybe it was just a guess since Lily was due about that time? I don't know. I am sticking with the fall of 1979 theory. _

_Sorry it took so long to update. Has it been a week? It was a very LONG week. I haven't really felt well. Not sick, just blah and tired for some reason. It's probably the weather. The constant temperature ups and downs always mess with me. On the bright side, the leaves have suddenly turned and are nearing their peak. Anyway, that's why it took so long-busy week._

_I did learn a very important lesson about computers this week. ALWAYS check that your volume is not turned up to 100%. I learned my lesson after startling myself half to death trying to do my Spanish homework. I forgot about the weird dude in the corner of the site who speaks after the computer grades my work and I forgot my volume was all the way up, so I suddenly hear the word "Excelente!" yelled out at a very high decibel level. I nearly had a heart attack and temporarily went a little deaf (I'm fine now). If any of my neighbors were asleep, they weren't after that. :/ Just a warning from me. I learn almost everything the hard way. _

_Anyway, I hope this chapter doesn't suck because it took so long to complete it. I tried. _


	36. Chapter 36: Mistletoe

_Thanks to __**MistressXofXCastleXOblivion, Squirrely-Butt, Dancestar101, PssBecca, VerySmallProphet, Tricorvus, Blazen, Sab756, Girlylinnea, Ravenclawbabe, Lightningstormzero, Darkprince31, Twichild369, Narutonarutolove, Ujemaima, Reader AZ, Tinithor, Gyoro and Ururun**__ and **xXLegilimenXx**__ for the reviews. _

_I am feeling just fine to those who asked. I had a couple tests done for my health concerns, but they showed nothing wrong. I have to wait on the blood work. So, I am not dying anyway. At least not right now anyway and hopefully not any time soon. Lots of working and school work this week. Things have gotten rather busy. Had a couple tests and a few papers to do this week. Updates will likely be spaced out more until the semester ends. _

_I got a pm about parchment and figured I should explain in case someone else wondered about it too. Technically, parchment is paper. It's just fancier, more expensive paper. And since he wrote the first letter in the summer, he would be home and probably would have written it on regular paper. It's just easier to say paper than parchments and paper. That's why I did it that way. _

_Reader AZ-because I can't pm you to help understand your confusion with dates: Harry is not mentioned until August 1980 in the letters and he was a newborn then. He was born in July of that year. Was it the fact that she was pregnant in 1978 that confused you? I had her pregnant then, but she miscarried. _

**Chapter 36: Mistletoe**

Lily pulled her coat tighter against her body, trying to keep the biting wind out. Severus put his arm around her as they walked through the park. They could hear carolers while they walked.

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight."_

As Lily listened, she thought the song fit their circumstances. Last year, they were anticipating a better future. This year, their troubles were indeed out of sight. Life was going great for both of them. The burdens they held last Christmas were not a concern this year. Voldemort was gone without a trace, Severus's dark mark was now replaced by a scar, the reporters were no longer hounding them, far more focused on the trials of Death Eaters. Severus had been indicted, but did not have to go to trial, thankfully. Dumbledore had vouched for him rather quickly and the Minister had decided to believe him and let it go. Lily was grateful for that. It was hardly a problem, but she had been afraid he would be sent to prison for the rest of his life despite his repentance. To her great relief that never happened. Right now, there was a sense of peace.

"Are you getting too cold?"

She shrugged. "I'll be fine. There's no rush to get back. It's only a little after eight."

"Lupin won't have Harry home until nine. If you are too cold, we can go home and enjoy time to ourselves if you want."

She smiled at him and gave a nod. "Okay. I would like to get warmed up."

They apparated back to their neighborhood and headed home. Severus closed the front door, shutting out the frigid air.

Lily took off her coat as Severus pointed his wand at the fireplace and lit a fire. "Is that better?"

She smiled at him as he removed his coat. "It's better."

She looked up at the ceiling and gave a coy smile. He looked up to see what she had seen and felt a smile form on his lips. The green leaves of a mistletoe plant hung directly above them. He looked back at her and into her emerald eyes. She bore her eyes into his coal-colored irises. They leaned in to each other and pressed their lips together. Lily caressed his back as his lips embraced hers.

Severus stroked her spine intimately, enjoying her soft lips against his own. Damn, he did not want the night to end. The fates had always been against him. What changed their mind? Did they finally think he'd had enough and let him finally win at something? Not that Lily was a prize. She was definitely not, but he could not help but feel like he had succeeded at something. Maybe at chance for a decent life?

Lily smiled at his touch and felt passion for him soar through her body. Damn, why did it have to feel this good with him? Her life had been full of struggles and pain and grief the past few years. It was as if the fates had decided to let her finally get the life she wanted. Deep down though, fear still loomed over her. What if something happened and she lost him too? She didn't know if she could bear it, but she could not be afraid to love someone for fear of losing them. If she did that, she would never love at all. Being hurt was something she was used to and she just expected it to not work out. The fact that it was working made her more nervous. She was used to things going well for a period of time and then having them suddenly crash down over her.

She found herself gripping his shirt as the thought of losing him. Severus felt her grip tighten suddenly on him, almost fearfully. She was clutching his shirt tightly and he felt her fingers trembling.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw him looking at her with confusion. Concern played on his face and she realized he had asked her something and seemed to be waiting for answer. "Lily?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Are you okay?"

Lily eased her firm grip a little. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, fine. I was just thinking, that's all."

"Anything you want to share?"

She sighed. "Everything seems so good right now. I'm afraid it will end."

He understood her feelings and often wondered the same thing. How long could it last? "We can't think about that right now. We'll drive ourselves mad that way."

"I know." She affectionately stroked his back. She needed to think about something else and not worry about a future she had no control over. Lily wanted to get back into the moment and forget about the unknown. She laid her head against his chest. He rubbed her back as she stroked his.

"Sev?"

"Hmm?"

"You remember our first kiss?"

Severus grinned. He definitely remembered. "How could I forget?"

"It was awkward." She laughed. "But we didn't know what we were doing."

"We were kids. We were only 12."

"Yes, but it is something you always remember." She smiled at him.

"Though we were young and unsure of what we were doing, it was our first."

Lily sighed inwardly, suddenly feeling a little guilty, though she didn't know why. She would not change her life because it was what it was. She only hoped that things would be better this time around and there would not be as many issues between her and Severus as there were between her and James. No, Severus was much different and that was why she had managed to fall in love with him. She sighed, her smile getting bigger. "Our first kiss together was wonderful, even if it was inexperienced. I can't forget it."

"Well, we practiced it a few times."

"We shared a lot of firsts together and a lot of fun times."

"Yes, we did. They don't have to end."

"I hoped they never do end." Lily smirked. "You were the first boy I had in my bed too." She joked.

He stifled a laugh. That was true. "Yes, I guess we did sleep together first. Too bad were nine and ten at the time."

She sighed, remembering her childhood friendship with him. "We would stay up late, listening to the broadcasts on my parents' radio."

"And hide under the bedcovers with flashlights to read even though we were supposed to be asleep."

"And you would tell me stories about what the other world was like. A world neither of us had seen nor experienced, but it was our world. No one around Cokeworth was like us. No one at school was like us. I loved hearing stories about it this amazing world beyond our own."

"Especially about the giant squid. You always wanted me to talk about him."

She grinned even brighter. She loved the squid. "I loved the stories and believed you, but it seemed so unreal. When I got my letter, I still felt like it was a dream. Everything seemed like a dream until I got settled into Hogwarts."

"It always seemed like a dream to me too even though my mother was a witch. I would hear her talking about this other world. Sometimes she would tell me about it and say I would be a part of it one day. I think she wanted me to get out and wanted me to think about being somewhere else. I'm not sure to this day if it was because she cared enough that she did not want me to end up like her or if she just wanted me out of the house for ten months of the year until I could leave for good." His jaw clenched after he admitted this to her.

Lily felt her stomach tighten as he saw his jaw clench. She knew his home life growing up was not at all pleasant and she knew his family did not have much money. What could she say? She wanted to change the conversation. He did not like to talk about his home life much and never told anyone about it besides her. She figured Dumbledore might know some things, but that Severus probably did not say much to him either besides the obvious. The fact that he was even willing to admit his thoughts or feelings on his home life was a big deal.

"You remember when we had our kissing experiment in the park until Petunia caught us in the act."

He smirked. "I think she almost had a heart attack."

"Tuney got really mad and said she was supposed to kiss a boy first. I didn't know she hadn't gotten her first kiss yet. She told me she had kissed a boy from school a year before. I guess she lied to sound more mature. She got her first kiss soon after that, but she was very mad at me, saying I was always trying to one-up her."

"She was always mad at you." Severus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes thinking about Petunia. One of the worst muggles he had ever met. Lily's parents were kind muggles. How they managed to raise a child like Petunia, he never knew.

"Yes." Lily said sadly. "I recall her running home and telling my mum what I had done with _that boy_. She made it sound like we had done something else. I think her words were "Mum, Lily was with that Snape boy. They were doing inappropriate stuff with each other in the park by the river. I saw them doing it together." And yes, my mum's mind went there. She panicked and sat me down after dinner, ready to drill into me the consequences of the birds and the bees."

Severus felt himself smirk again. "Figures Petunia would make a childhood kiss into something else." He had not heard this story before.

"I had to explain that we did not do that and that we just had a kiss. We wanted to see what it was like, that was all. I never even thought about sleeping with you. We were kids, but I guess because we were at the start of adolescence and puberty, she thought our hormones might be ahead of your brains. Her words, not mine. Mum realized we weren't doing anything inappropriate though and she did not care that I had kissed you at all. She thought it was cute actually and assumed this meant we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Mum thought I had a crush on you and it was rather embarrassing."

Severus looked at Lily a little surprised. "She thought that you had a crush on me?"

"Well," Lily shrugged, looking guilty. "I kind of did."

He was surprised before, he was shocked now. "You did?"

"A little bit of one, yes. You were my first male best friend and I liked you. We went to the same school and hung around each other all the time. I thought you were cute, even if no one else saw what I saw."

"I can't believe you never told me this."

"I was way too embarrassed to tell you the truth. You never told me you had a crush on me all along either."

"Maybe I should have."

"Maybe." She sighed. "So many little things that could have changed everything. Do you ever think about how different life would be if we had just admitted our crush to one another?"

"Sometimes, but I don't think we should think that way. We can't change anything."

"You mean Harry? He's why I don't allow myself to think about too much. Still, I can't help but wonder sometimes."

Severus nodded. "I wonder about it also, but he's a good kid, really. He gets that from you. He is your son completely. Harry just had the unfortunate problem of looking like his father."

Lily heaved a sigh, deciding to let it go. At least Severus did not hate him like he probably did when they first arrived. He had grown much softer and more caring toward Harry. Part of that probably had to do with Harry being a toddler and not being old enough to have been affected by his upbringing.

"He does have my eyes, you know? He's not all James."

"Yes, indeed he does have your beautiful emerald colored eyes."

"Well, in many ways he does look like James, but he isn't James. He is Harry. If we ever decide to have a child, he or she would not either one of us. They would their own person. He or she will probably look like you, but they would not be you, would they?"

"I would hope any child I have would not look like me." He mumbled to himself. He would not want that. Lily was the only person who thought he was attractive. No one else did. He certainly did not want his child to suffer over greasy hair and pale faces.

Lily heard him and was surprised. "Really? I hope any child we would have would look like you and since darker genes are far more dominant, they most likely would take after you."

"No need to be mean to the kid." He joked half-heartedly. He would prefer if they ever did have a child, said child would take after Lily.

She laughed. "They will now look you, you know. Just because you don't want them too."

"Fine, but if they would have the unfortunate genes and look like me they best have your beautiful green eyes to make up for it."

"They are not unfortunate genes. I like your dark hair, but deal, your looks, my eyes."

"And they share our intelligence as a witch or wizard, whichever they may be."

"They could be a squib."

"Not a chance."

They kissed each other's lips again. Severus and Lily did not want this moment to end and did not let it cease. They caressed each other's backs intimately. Steeped into their passion toward one another, they paid no attention to anything else nor did they hear the front door open.

A wolf whistle startled both of them and they quickly broke apart. "Would you look at that, Harry? Your mum and Severus are have some love time."

"Remus." Lily cleared her throat and touched her lips. "You are back already."

"I'm sorry to interrupt your private time, but I was told to have Harry back by nine. It's nine o one."

"It's fine. We just lost track of time." Lily said.

"Clearly." Remus laughed. "I'd be careful though, get much more intimate and Harry may end up with a new sibling." Remus joked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Very funny."

"You have lipstick on your neck, Severus."

Severus touched his neck and cleared his throat. "Harry behave for you?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Of course. He's a good kid. He used the potty for me even."

"That's great. I'm working on it with him. He's getting better, but still struggles a bit."

"He'll get there."

"Not soon enough."

"Mama, look! look! I colored it." Harry said, interrupting Remus in his excitement. He held up a finger painting.

"It is lovely. I will have to put it on the refrigerator with your other drawings."

"I let him play with some paints and we played out in the snow, didn't we Harry?"

"We did snowmans."

"Sort of, the snow wasn't really good for that. It was powdery, but we tried."

"At least you got him out of the house for awhile."

"So, how was your quiet evening out?" Remus asked as Harry settled down to play with some of his toys.

"It was good. We got too cold though and decided to head home early." Severus answered. .

"It was very lovely dinner. We took a stroll in the park nearby afterwards before coming home."

"You all just wanted some private alone time. Nothing wrong with that though."

Lily decided to move the subject away from intimacy. "Thanks for watching him, Remus. I always appreciate it."

"It's no trouble at all. I better get home. Sirius is having a dinner tomorrow."

"Which we will not be attending." Severus added quickly.

"After last year's fiasco, we want a quiet dinner here." Lily chimed in.

"Understandable. Well, I will see you two later. Happy Christmas, Lily. Severus." Remus turned to Harry. "Happy Christmas, Harry."

"Tell Remus Happy Christmas, Harry."

"Happy Christmas."

"Night." Remus said as he headed out the door.

"Night." Lily said back as the front door closed.

Lily turned to Severus. "I did get lipstick on your neck." She laughed, licked her thumb and tried to wipe it off.

He did not push her away as she continued to lick her thumb to rub off her lipstick marks. He smiled instead. "May as well use your tongue if you intend to keep putting your saliva all over my neck."

She just smiled. "Maybe I will after I put Harry to bed. Come on, Harry, time for bed." She turned to find Harry asleep on the floor. "Well, I guess Remus wore him out, didn't he?" She picked Harry up and started to carry him upstairs.

She turned to Severus once her feet hit the landing on the steps. "Aren't you coming?"

"To put Harry to bed?"

"I was actually thinking we could enjoy some time to ourselves up here since we were cut short earlier."

He raised his eyebrow. _How intimate does she plan on getting?_ He wondered. Probably not as intimate as he would like, but still, he would not complain. As long as he was with Lily, nothing else seemed to matter.

_A/N: About Lily having a crush on Severus. It was not a canon mention, but it seemed unlikely she never once even had a little bit of feelings for him past friendship. They were friends for seven years during the height of puberty and not once would she have even a brief crush on her best friend, who was of the opposite sex? It could happen, but it seemed very unlikely. I tend to think that if he had never chosen the path of the Death Eaters, there was very good chance they would ended up together. Of course, then there would be no Harry Potter. Lots of people like to experiment with their first kiss around the age of 12 or so just to see what it is like as they hit the beginning of adolescence. So I made that happen between Severus and Lily, just as an experiment and not puppy love. Lily may have had a crush on him then and he certainly had one on her, but neither would admit it. First kisses are remembered vividly, even if they are silly or childish and not very good. _

_Also, I apologize if you see a mix up of it's and its, my computer is clearly confused of the differences and kept correcting me incorrectly. I think I corrected all of them. _

_I have to admit that it is a pet peeve of mine that every time it snows in movies/television and even most books, it's always perfect for snow balls and making snowpersons. Most snowfalls are powdery or fluffy and are terrible for compacting. At least in my experience anyway. _

_Song: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", by Hugh Martin and Ralph Bane. I used Frank Sinatra's version because the original focuses on anticipation of a brighter future whereas Sinatra's changed version focuses on happiness currently. The original version is a bit depressing imo. Sinatra's version came out in 1957. _


	37. Chapter 37: Imperfectly Perfect

_Thanks to __**Musicalfan2012, Reviewer with No Name 1, Ujemaima, Gyoro and Ururun, Reader123, Tricorvus, Zireael07, GirlyLinnea, Jordina, Sab756, RavenLockwood, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, Rtag, TenderHeart78,**__**Darkprince31, Narutonarutolove, Angel3of3your3nightmare, TheAngelofIego **__and __**Ranma's Girl1**__ for the reviews. _

_Warning: Just reminding everyone again that this is rated M. It's hard to say what the limit would be when it says to not be explicit with adult themes, because the definition in my Encarta Dictionary (North America) says: "portraying nudity or sexual activity in an open and direct way." I believe that to mean: Don't do porn writing. My writings about their sexual feelings to one another and even if or when I choose to have them "do the deed" will not be done in a direct way. It should not be hard to figure out what they mean or what they are doing though. I will use a lot of euphemisms when I discuss this so I can avoid getting in trouble for being explicit about sexual activity. People tend to like metaphors better because they look prettier, despite the fact that they are describing the same thing. Expect a lot of animal or inanimate objects (tigers, salt and pepper, cookie jars, etc.) references here and there when it comes to sexual feelings, thoughts and activity. A lot of sexual tension will just be subtle, skirting about the words. I will not come right out and say that they want to sleep with the other person, but it should be obvious that's what is on their minds. I am saying this so that if I suddenly start referencing Severus and Lily or their thoughts as something besides human, that's why and I hope you do not get too confused when I do this. As always, thanks for reading. _

_Also, edited the last chapter a little bit. Apparently when I uploaded it, my last edits had not been saved. It was minimal, but an entire line was left out, which made it a bit off at one spot. I edited late Saturday, so if you read it after that, you read the edited version. Apologies for that!_

**Chapter 37: Imperfectly Perfect**

Lily closed her eyes, taking in the moment. She felt his hand slid across her hip. She sighed happily as his soft lips continued to touch her own. Severus slipped one of his hands to her rear. She was momentarily surprised, but did nothing to stop him. She doubted he even realized where his hand was, but even if he did know, she was not saying a word. Despite how soon it was, she sometimes felt like forgetting about how long they had been together and losing her self control to him. She had no doubt he felt the same. She wanted the real thing from him, wanted to know what it would be like. She feared it at the same time, fearing that she was expecting too much from him in her hopes that it would be an enjoyable experience. Everything else was enjoyable so far, why not the complete deal?

_Remember last time. You don't want that to happen again. Be patient, wait._ Lily told herself as she laid beside him. _There is not a rush._ She gripped his shirt at his shoulder blade as she kissed his neck. She ran her fingers through his smooth, dark hair with her other hand. Damn, she wanted him, all of him. _No, take it easy, Lily. You don't want this to end up like last time._ He kissed her neck, slowly rubbing her lower back near the rump. She could feel his hand ride up her shirt, his rough hand softly caressing her bare skin. _But it is not the same as last time. I never felt or got this intimate with James before he wanted to stick his extra hand in the cookie jar. Severus is not James._ She knew it would be different. He did not pressure her into anything, but it was still too soon. She needed more time.

Severus ran his hand over her hip and unintentionally touched his hand on her buttocks. He was ready to pull away, expecting her to snap at him for touching her there. He saw her eyes look over to where his hand was, but she averted her eyes back to where they were before quickly, looking at him. Her soft lips touched his own. It was clear that she saw no problem with the placement of his hands on her body. He slowly moved back to her hip anyway, not wanting to push it with her. He was enjoying this too much and did not want to make her uncomfortable. It was not easy. He wanted her, all of her. It wasn't quite like when they were 16 and his hormones were wild, but he still desired her. He desired her because he was in love with her and he wanted the chance to love her fully. He imagined she felt the same.

He hoped she felt the same, though part of him was convinced she could not possibly like him. Severus had convinced himself years ago that it was not possible for anyone to love him. The fact that she did still baffled him. He did not want to sound self-loathing so he never asked her, but he did indeed wonder what it was that made her desire him at all. He was not a desirable person. Lily ran her fingers over her shirt, clutching it in one hand, stroking his hair with the other. It made him even more curious each time she showed him such intimate affection. He felt he was being paranoid at times. Sometimes he wondered if she just wanted to sleep with him since it had been quite awhile since Potter had passed and he was the easiest person to get to bed. Then again, why not chose Black? Black would go at with her if she wanted, he was sure of that. Black was certainly more attractive and far more experienced than he was. Black was a lot like Potter, so why not be with someone like her ex. He was certain Potter would approve of the mutt thumping his former wife before he would ever approve of Severus making love with her. He did not care about Potter's opinion on their relationship, but he still wondered why Lily would even bother with someone like him when she had much better options. This was especially true if she just wanted a sexual relationship. Part of him hated that he dared think of her that way, only wanting one thing from him. Lily was not Potter, desperately seeking his needs that way. He knew that despite that small thought in his mind, Lily did love him. It was obvious she was in love with him. Even if he did not understand why she loved him, he knew she honestly did care about him deeply.

He ran his hand over her back, touching her bare skin. He could feel Lily's right hand slid down his back, her fingers stroking his spine through his shirt as she did so.

"You don't make this easy, you know." She spoke suddenly.

"What?" He asked with a curious expression. What was hard about what they were doing?

"I still need more time before we get to that point."

Oh. He wished she wanted to do this, but yet, it made a little nervous. She had the experience of being intimate. He did not and hoped he would not be awful at the act when it happened.

Lily watched his expressions. "Are you nervous about it?"

"No." He said.

His expression remained emotionless so she was not sure at that moment if he was lying or not. "Well, I am."

"You have experience. I don't know why you would be nervous."

She shrugged and twisted at his shirt sleeve, holding onto his left arm. "A little bit maybe." She mumbled.

"You were married to Potter for three years. You never fooled around for fun? That doesn't like Potter. I imagined he would be ready to grope at you any chance he could."

She continued to twist at his shirt and shrugged again. "Yes, he did."

"He didn't cheat on you, did he?"

"No. Not to my knowledge anyway. I don't think he did."

"Then why wouldn't you have more experience with him?"

"It's complicated."

"You don't have to tell me if you are not comfortable." He could tell by her expression that this must have been a serious issue in their marriage. She had told him that she hoped he would not be like James when it came to sexual intimacy. Lots of things ran through his mind now. _Did he force her? Did he hurt her trying to get her to sleep with him? Was he abusive in that aspect? Was this the reason they had separated? He knew her libido was not low. She quite enjoys all the intimacy. Was she not really able to do the deed? No, if that was the case, she would not be so eager to want to sleep with me. She said Potter had never harmed her physically, but he still could have been abusive in some ways_. Something made her nervous about sleeping with him and something had happened between her and James that made her uneasy.

"I expected it to be good, but my first time was rather awful. I was very naïve. I expected fireworks and for it to be an enjoyable experience overall. It wasn't. I should have realized it then, but I didn't. I assumed in marriage it would be better."

Severus did not answer. He just listened and continued to run his fingers along her back.

"For a good chunk of the marriage we really did not do much intimately. We often did not do anything at all. I was pregnant early on, then things were sour between us, we separated and I did not want to do anything once we got back together either. When we did do it after that, it was sporadic. He fancied himself the more experienced person and liked to be the one to initiate it and control the situation. Something I did not appreciate. It was another issue, a big issue we had in our marriage. More than me working, personality clashes, him not pulling more weight around the house or us having more children. Our emotional relationship was great at the end, but our sexual relationship? Not so much."

He wasn't sure what to say to that, but it really did not surprise him that Potter was that way. He used to fancy himself the V taker and would brag about his sexual exploits with the other girls quite often. It was a source of pride for him and Black to "take a girl's virginity." He knew he should let it go and stop thinking about Potter, but the more he learned, the less he liked. He knew Potter liked Lily, but he had always wondered if he liked her because of the person she was or if he just wanted to get her into bed with him. When they married, he had hoped the former was the case, but the more he learned, the more he thought it was the latter. He was sure that Potter probably did love Lily in the end, but it still grated on him how Potter used her to get what he wanted and to maybe even get back at him. Severus never told Lily that though. He could not prove that Potter used Lily to get back at him, but it was always in the back of his mind.

"It was part of the reason we separated. Actually, it was probably the biggest reason. I often lied and told him I was too tired or too busy to do it, even well after we got back together. It was not fun. It sounds terrible to say that I just let him do what he wanted occasionally so he would leave me alone. He enjoyed it. I never really did. Maybe I could have enjoyed it, but he liked to be dominating in the situation. I did not like it, but I let him because I feared if I did not let him sleep with me here and there, he would find someone else. I did not want to separate again. It was always a chore for me though. I wanted it to be something we enjoyed together, not something he wanted to control. We had learned to compromise on a lot of things, but he refused to give up control in the bedroom at all. Honestly, if there was one thing we would have gotten divorced over, it was that. I might have been able to eventually talk him into having one more child. He might have taken more responsibility as we got older and helped around the house, but I don't think he was willing at all to give up his dominance in that aspect of our relationship."

"For some reason, that doesn't surprise me. You do not like to be dominated. Potter was wholly unobservant to not see that about you."

She smiled. She had been willing to admit this to him finally because she had a feeling he would not be the same way. He was not the same, but that was kind of why she had come to love Severus. He was different, but in a good way.

"Is it terrible to admit that if I had never gotten pregnant that first time, I highly doubt we would have stayed together? Of course, then I wouldn't have Harry so I try to not dwell on that. I would do it all over again because I can't imagine my life without him." She sighed.

"I don't think it is terrible to admit what is reality."

"Reality is not pretty."

"It's never pretty."

"Sometimes it is. Right now, it is looking very well from my end."

He looked at her and felt the corner of his lips curve into a smile. "It looks wonderful at the moment." He pushed a lock of her hair out of her face.

She sighed. "What is it about me you like?"

"What?"

"Why do you like about me? I mean, what about me is attractive to you?"

"Besides the fact that I think you are beautiful? Almost everything."

"I just wondered what it was the caught your attention since the only ever guy, besides the random muggles who are looking for any girl to get to bed, was James Potter."

"He just wanted to sleep with you because you were the only girl that wouldn't." He mumbled to himself.

"But that's not your goal?" She asked, looking surprised.

He wiped the shock off his face. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Well, I did. Are you saying you don't want to sleep with me? I assumed that was your goal too."

Severus felt his throat suddenly go dry. What answer did she want to hear? The truth would be best, but he felt like he would sound like a hypocrite.

"Sev?"

"Well, I think you are attractive, yes. I would not mind being with you that way, no, but that's not my only goal. When we get to that point, I won't be going anywhere or moving to the next girl I can find. I'm sure your eventual goal is for us to consummate as well, is it not?"

"Well, yes. I don't believe you will leave. You aren't like that."

"A girl like you being attracted to someone like me is not normal. I hope I can keep you around."

"I have every intention of staying put." She ran her fingers across his shoulder blades. "I am not anyone special though."

"I think you are. I'm surprised you ever started to like me at all."

"What's not to like?"

"I am not perfect in any way."

"Good. Neither am I."

"I have told you plenty of times why I love you. You are beautiful, smart, kind hearted, loving, sometimes stubborn, independent, strong and brave. I could go on forever honestly. I love everything about you. But instead of you asking me asking me what I like about you, I should be asking you why you would ever be attracted to me?"

"Why would I be attracted to you? A million and one reasons." She ran her middle and index fingers along his left shoulder. "You are brilliant, witty, stubborn, brave and loyal and you can be kind-hearted and caring when you want to be." She grinned. "You certainly have been to me and to Harry. Physically? Everything about you attracts me. I don't know why."

"I am not a good person. I have done terrible things."

"I know, but I love you anyway, flaws and all. I have my own flaws too."

"I am aware of them, but I chose not to see them. We still get along quite well despite our faults."

"Yes, we do. Minus the occasionally banter, that is, but we don't have trouble getting over them or compromising and that's one thing that attracts me to you."

"I love you, Lily. I mean that." He caressed her upper spine, massaging between her shoulder blades.

"I love you too, Sev. I absolutely mean that." She sighed.

Lily's hand came under his shirt and he could feel her smooth hands rubbing along his back as they stole passionate kisses from each other. He did not want this to end, but he had to end it. If they kept this up, they might not make to bed. His body burned with fervor for her, but she was not ready to move forward and he was not going to talk her into something she might regret later. He forced himself to stop touching her. "I should probably go to bed."

"Why?" She asked, not wanting him to stop touching her.

"It's getting late."

"We have nowhere to go tomorrow."

"No, but I am getting tired."

"You are putting me to sleep doing that."

"I can stop."

"No, I like it. It feels good."

"I can't stay here all night."

"Why not? No one would know the difference." She smirked. "But honestly, you probably should go to your room for the night."

"It's not that I wouldn't stay here. I will if you really want me to."

"It would be best if you were in your bed tonight. My kettle is stirring and I may desire for the lid to be taken off. You tend to do that to me despite the fact that I don't know if I am emotionally ready for that."

He smiled at her. "I will have to remember that."

"I'm sure you can't wait until I let you do that."

"Whenever you are ready, I will be too. Until then, we can enjoy each other in other ways."

"Yes, we can."

He gave her a kiss. "Good night, Lily."

"Good night, Sev."

He got up and left the room. She sighed to herself with a smile on her face. Her stomach felt sick with butterflies. It was a good sort of feeling though. She loved the feeling. Their being apart had done nothing to ruin their relationship. In fact, it was doing the opposite and making them grow closer. Each time they got to see each other now, it was always bittersweet and wonderful. When she was with him, it was if nothing else in the world mattered at that moment.

_The next morning. _

Severus handed Lily a cup of tea and sat down beside her.

"Thanks." She opened the paper on the table.

"I can't believe you got a muggle news subscription."

"It lets me keep up with the news. Sometimes incidents happen that make me think a wizard caused it. I get my wizard news from you."

"Do you hate living like this? Away from our world?"

"Not really. I grew up as a muggle after all. I guess I am used to it, but sometimes I do feel isolated from it, yes. Besides, I want Harry to interact with and be around muggles. Ignorance is what causes prejudice and I want him to be around all sorts of muggles so he won't have the same hatred of them that many purebloods do."

"I agree with you there. I don't care much for muggles personally though."

"We have nice neighbors for the most part, don't we?"

"Yes, but they are still muggles."

Lily sighed. "Harry should be aware of them, get a bit of both worlds."

"He's your kid. You can do what you want with him."

"We got both worlds."

"But not the best of them."

"Your father was just one muggle. He was not a good person. You can't blame all muggles for his issues."

"What about your sister?"

"She is jealous. She wants to be us and since she can't, she retaliated by being"

"A bitch."

"Well, I wouldn't use that word, but yes. And living her "perfectly normal" life in a "perfectly normal" way."

"I would laugh if she had a child who was a wizard or a witch."

Lily smirked. "It is possible, but I would hope she would not come to resent a child like that. Hopefully, she would be forced to get over her jealously and be happy for the child. My parents, though muggles, were thrilled about my opportunities."

"But your parents were nice people. They were not the type to be jealous of their kid. Petunia might be."

"I would hope not."

"I actually think it is probably a good idea to keep Harry out of our world until he goes to Hogwarts. We can teach him some things, tell him about it, but not let him be a part of it until he is old enough to handle it."

She raised an eyebrow, but smiled. "We?"

"I have no plans to leave any time soon."

"Neither do I. I was just surprised that you are thinking ahead, that's all." She smiled at him. "Well, Harry is a famous name in the wizard world and I don't want him to deal with that at his young age so I agree completely."

They heard the pitter pattering of little feet coming down the stairs. Lily got up and went into the living room.

"Good morning. Merry Christmas."

Harry rubbed his eyes with one hand, holding his bear in the other. "I'm hungry."

"You want some breakfast before we open presents?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

"You want to open your presents before we eat?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. Let's find your presents."

Severus entered the room. "Are you opening the packages already?"

"He wants to open his gifts first. I'm fine with that." Lily sat down on the floor to help Harry. Severus sat in the armchair.

"Some oil paints from Remus. The good kind too that will not make a mess everywhere when you play with them. He gave you some parchment as well to finger paint on."

"I like finger paint." Harry said, admiring his new paints.

"I'm glad. This stuff won't make a mess all over you, the carpet or the kitchen table either."

Harry opened up his gift from Sirius. "A football? And some odd little red balls?"

"Black gave Harry a muggle ball? One from a muggle sport?"

Lily met Severus's eyes. "You don't think he-" Before she could finish her sentence, the ball flew out of Harry's hands and began to bounce across the room. Harry watched the ball fling itself into the walls, barely missing one of the lamps. Severus ducked his head as the ball came barreling toward him, narrowly missing a blow to his face. Lily grabbed her wand and attempted to freeze the ball in place, but missed by a millimeter. The ball fell to the ground and changed its shape into a bowling ball. The ball came rolling toward them. Lily grabbed Harry and Severus reached for the ball to stop it, but missed. The tiny red balls in the package popped up and transformed themselves into bowling pins. The heavy ball rolled toward them at a fast rate, pummeling the pins, scattering them across the room. Severus snatched the ball aggressively. It thrashed about in his hands wildly as if it were a small animal. Severus stuffed the toy into the box, strapping it back in the case it came in.

"That is an outside only toy."

"I say we toss the damn thing." He grumbled.

"I can't do that. It was a gift for Harry."

"Fine, outside only. That toy will tear up the house."

"Let's just get back to unwrapping."

"Fine with me." He sat back down on the chair.

"Okay, Harry, let's open the next gift."

Harry opened his last gift; a railroad set for this toy train, and was now looking at the new tricycle they had gotten him.

"What's that?" Harry asked, pointing to a small box under the tree.

"It's a present for your mother."

Lily took the gift with a smile. "I did not need anything. I told you this already."

"I'm stubborn. I don't listen."

She sighed and took the box. She opened the package and gave him a warm smile. "Sunstone?"

"I know you have been worried about your safety so I thought you might like it."

She clutched the stones in her hand. "Yes, this is a wonderful gift. It's for protection and has healing powers, not to mention bringing good luck and happiness to the wearer. It's also a love stone, but I am sure you knew that."

His lip curled into a smirk. "I might have known."

She grabbed a box and handed it to him. "This is my gift to you."

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"You told me a hundred times not to, but I did anyway."

He sighed and opened the box, taking out the gift. "A screeching chameleon plant?"

"The fruits are great in potions."

"Like the prickly pears on cacti. A very practical gift, thanks." He set the plant on his lap. "But you really did not need to get me anything."

"I think it's clear we aren't going to listen to each other when it comes to gift giving."

He agreed. She was right. They weren't going to listen because they wanted to get the other gifts, even if they were unnecessary.

Severus set the plant on coffee table. Lily stuck the gemstones in her jeans pocket.

"Snow!" Harry said, pointing out of one of the front windows.

"It is snowing. Maybe after breakfast, we can go outside and play in it. Would you like that?"

Harry's eyes lit up in excitement. "Make a snowman!"

"Maybe, if the snow is good for that. Come along, let's go eat." Harry followed her into the kitchen. Severus looked around the room. The Christmas tree lights glistened brightly, making him smile for some odd reason. He never liked Christmas much. He was always a scrooge that way, but this year he did not feel so bitter. In fact, he was enjoying the day so far despite the charmed ball incident. Right now, he felt like the Grinch whose heart had grown three sizes. Severus knew what had caused this change. The same thing, the only thing that ever managed to put a genuine smile on his face: Lily.

_**A/N:**__ I pictured Lily as strong, capable, preferring independence and likely a bit stubborn. I thought canon James seemed arrogant and dominant. As such, I pictured that at times the two would have a power struggle. I imagined that if they clashed at times in everyday living this way, the bedroom would be no different. I took the dominance/submission idea to sexual experience and I know some couples like it that way, but I am picturing her as not being happy with it. I just had no trouble at all seeing James as someone who liked to have his ego stroked in some ways. I know men who remind me of James and Sirius and since we knew little about them or Lily or their relationship, I used my own experiences and knowledge to create it. _

_Sunstones do exist. They are actually the state gem of Oregon and those are the stated powers of the gemstone, true or not. The screeching chameleon plant does not exist. It's another creation of mine, like a prickly pear cactus, which contains an edible and very healthy fruit called tuna. I made it a protection plant that alerts to danger through a short, loud screech and it camouflages itself to its surrounding environment. Again, please do not take my ideas without permission, thank you! :)_

_I finished and edited this yesterday, but things have been busy since then. One of my friend's babies is not doing well and is now believed to be struggling with IVH. It's not uncommon in preemies, but it is still a concern. And I did too much yesterday doing yard work and am sore as a result, but I am glad I did it. They are older and needed the help. I decided to go ahead and post this before I try to come up with interpretations of Shakespeare sonnets for tomorrow. Basically, I procrastinated from doing my work because I know that whatever I manage to come up with, it will be wrong. I suck terribly at interpreting poetry. _


	38. Chapter 38: Valentine

_Thanks to _**_Jordina, Tricorvus, Harrylee94, JupiterJack567, Zireael07, Piscesgirl35, Sassymagpie, Ujemaima, MarissaRosee, Girlylinnea, KraZiiePyrozHaveMoreFun, Gyoro and Ururun, Malloys, Angel67Demon_**_ and _**_Tinithor_**_ for the reviews. _

_Forget to mention last chapter that _**_KraZiiePyrozHaveMoreFun _**_was the 600th reviewer. Thanks for getting me to 600! _

_Also, the relationship between Lily and James: I am not trying to make James look bad to make Severus look good. Everything I wrote about their relationship was how I could see it. I know people who remind me of James and Sirius and I took the behavior cues from them. You may not like how I portrayed him, but I really don't care. That sounds harsh, but I pictured him this way all along. I am only writing this for fun, to imagine a different scenario. We don't know how the relationship was and I may be young, but I am not naïve enough to seriously believe a marriage like that would be just grand. Maybe it was just me, but I took issue with some of the relationships in the books and how they were portrayed (beyond nearly everyone having two happily wed parents). Was I the only one who saw a lot of unhealthy relationships that were seemingly portrayed as healthy? One reviewer brought this up and I completely agree with them. I don't claim to know everything about relationships, because I certainly don't and I'll never claim to, but I do use my experiences, both personal and observed and learned into account. Really though, I think I made him quite mild. I am aware of much worse relationship dynamics. _

_Two fixed errors: I originally wrote soccer ball, which was a dumb mistake. I think the US is the only place that calls it a soccer ball (Football was already taken ;) ) I knew this, but slipped up there. Have to admit that of all the errors I could make, that was a stupid one. I had it backward to begin with. The heart was two sizes too small and grew three sizes. I said it grew two sizes. I was close, but close only counts in horseshoes. _

_I looked back and realized I had Lily say they divorced. I should have said they considered divorce or they separated. They did not get a divorce. I fixed this minor error. _

_I think Lily deserves the chance to have a second side. James and Severus got them. Lily certainly isn't all bravado and sweetness. The issues in the chapters surround this because it will affect her relationship with Severus. Forget about James, he's unimportant even if he has a role here. He's not really the point. He's an afterthought now, but he's brought up because it matters. Lily's got to have her own issues and she doesn't have many in canon (none actually in canon), but she does here. _

_*A very intimate chapter. _

**Chapter 38: Valentine**

"You did not have to get me anything, just like you didn't have to buy me those earrings for my birthday." Lily said, taking the gifts from him.

"You like them though. You're wearing them, aren't you?"

She touched her ears and gave a smile. She loved them, but she did not need anything. "They are beautiful, but you didn't need to get me anything. I have enough."

"Of course I did. You got me a birthday present. The rose rock was nice, but not necessary. Same with the candy you got me today."

"It is the only candy you like." She laughed. "I thought you'd appreciate it."

"Of course I do, but I don't need it."

"I don't need the stuff you got me either, but the flowers are beautiful and I appreciate them anyway. It's the thought that counts."

"You don't like the candy I got you?" He feigned surprise

"Yes, but I don't need them. I prefer to keep my weight down." She set the vase of flowers on the coffee table.

"A few pounds wouldn't make a difference. You certainly wouldn't lose my interest."

Lily turned to him with a smile. He was staring at her. She doubted he knew she was watching him watching her. "Are you checking me out?"

Severus had been watching her and felt his lips and tongue go dry. He felt a small bit of lust hit him as he watched her fix the flowers. She wasn't doing anything that would induce such a feeling, but he felt it anyway. He snapped out of it quickly when she spoke to him. He gave her a coy smile. "I might be."

She raised an eyebrow and gave an impish grin. "You were."

"I apologize. You are just so attractive I couldn't help myself."

"Why apologize? I don't mind."

She leaned in toward him. She could smell the caramel from the candy on his breath and began to kiss his lips fervently. He kissed her back with equal fervor, tasting the licorice she had recently consumed on her lips.

As Severus osculated her, Lily slid her hands to his back. Severus grabbed onto her hips and felt her hands touch his bottom. Sensing the escalation of intimacy, he began to slide his hands around her rear. Severus waited for her to tell him when to stop, but she never did. He felt her soft hands slid back up and around to his lower back.

Lily could feel his hands sliding around her thighs. She felt his right hand slid across her leg near her groin. She felt her breathing constrict. It had been long enough. God, she wanted him, every inch of him. She wanted the chance to have her way with him. She pulled him to the couch.

Severus was careful where he touched. He did not think she would want to go all the way with him, though he was ready to have his way with her, so he was a bit surprised to find himself being pulled down onto the couch. He felt her hands slide up his shirt, stroking his stomach. He started to slither his hands up her shirt. Lily felt his rough fingers caress her stomach and she stifled a giggle. His hands moved further up her shirt. She knew what he was doing and was not about to stop him.

He found his hands at her bosom and felt his thirst for her increase ten-fold. God, he wanted her, all of her. He was more than ready for this. He had waited this long, so he could certainly wait longer, but he would rather not wait too long. He wanted to have her. He wanted her to have him. She could do whatever she wanted with him if she was willing to get a leg over him. His heart was pounding and his body burned for her, but she had to be ready for this. No matter what he wanted, he could not and would not pressure her into anything.

Lily felt his hands cupping her breasts. She wanted to surrender herself to him and let him do whatever he wanted with her body. She almost ached for him to get raunchy with her. Right now, she did not want anything else.

She pulled away from his lips, catching her breath. "Do you want to make love?"

He looked at her, quite shocked. "You want us to make love? Right now?"

She nodded. She was more than ready. Her body yearned for him. "Harry's taking a nap. I want to do this. Don't you?"

Of course he wanted to do this. She was all he thought about most of the time. He wanted the chance to love her completely. "You really have to ask?"

She smiled. He began to unbutton her cardigan. She wasn't sure if she wanted to get completely undressed, but she did not stop him either. She pulled his shirt off after he had removed her cardigan. As he started to lift up her shirt, she panicked.

He sensed her tension. "We don't have to do this. If you aren't ready"

"No." She said quickly. "I do. It's just. I never really. It's silly, I know."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Lily, I don't want to do something if you are not ready for this. There's no pressure."

"I'm just not very comfortable being unclothed." She admitted.

"That's not going to make this easy."

"Well, I've never been comfortable with it. I never got completely undressed before either."

"Really?" This was surprising to him.

"He didn't care as long as he got what he wanted from me, but I don't want to talk about it."

Severus let go of her shirt. "I don't have to undress you then if you aren't comfortable."

Lily sighed to herself. "No. Maybe it's time I got over this fear. I mean, once I let you do it, I doubt it will bother me anymore. It sounds crazy, I know, but even being pregnant was a nightmare for me. I was not a good patient. It was horrifying to me when they had to check me _there_. When I gave birth was the first time James ever saw that part of me." She saw Severus's shocked look. "No, really, I mean it. I never really told him why I was uncomfortable. I should have. I lied to him and that was wrong. I don't know why I'm even telling you this."

He had a feeling why she was telling him all this. He also had an idea of why she this fear in the first place. "Was it an issue before?"

"Yes, a big one, so some of our problems were my own fault, I know." She sighed. "No, I want to get over this. I need to feel more comfortable. It's hard to be fully intimate and trusting if I refuse to let you see me without clothes."

"Are you worried I will not like what I see?"

She gave a reserved smile and shrugged slightly. "Yes and no."

"I think that would be impossible. I'm sure your body is beautiful."

"I don't know." She sighed. "I'm not eighteen anymore though. It's time I grew up and got over it."

"So you want me to take off your shirt?"

"Yes." She looked at him. "I'm honestly surprised you are comfortable with me taking off your clothes."

"I'm sure it will be slightly embarrassing at first, but I'll get over it."

"You've never been with anyone before, have you?" She asked. He had never mentioned anyone, so she had just assumed he had not. Maybe he had.

"No." He admitted.

"So we can be awkward together, in some sense, anyway?"

"I suppose so." He started to lift her shirt again. She tensed as he got to her breasts. He stopped.

"No, just pull it off." She said.

He lifted the shirt to her shoulders. She quickly slid herself out of it. He felt him body pulsate a little as he eyed her bra. She felt quite exposed, but didn't grab her shirt to throw it back on.

"You are beautiful." He told her, noticing her uneasiness.

She looked down at her nearly faded stretch marks. She was thankful for potions that helped get rid of most of them. "No. I've got stretch marks from Harry and I can't seem to get rid of some of the weight and I-"

You're beautiful." He told her.

"You just want me to sleep with you. You'll say anything to get me to put a leg over on you."

Severus laughed at that statement. "No, I mean it. I think you're beautiful." He leaned toward her and whispered into her ear. "I have nothing to compare you to."

She turned her head toward him. "What?"

He twisted his mouth into a slight smirk. "That's the problem, isn't it? You didn't feel you were pretty enough. You still don't. I can't compare you to another girl."

She felt herself blush. "I-"

"I know you better than you think I do."

She raised her eyebrow. "Is that right?"

"You hate being compared to others."

She shrugged. She couldn't argue with him there. "I bet that's how he got you to sleep with him the first time. He tried to make you feel like you were just like those other girls and he thought you would be better than that. You were special, right? None of those girls were like you. They shouldn't matter. Prove it to him. Prove you are different. Sleep with him and he would know. He'd never leave if you slept with him. It was the next logical step in the relationship. It would prove your value to him.

She felt her jaw drop a little. "How did you know that?"

"Some of my roommates used the same tactic to get a girl to sleep with them. It worked sometimes."

"He did say those things, yes. Among other things. I stupidly convinced myself he was right. You know this."

"Even though he almost never compared you to any other girls he'd been with, you were self conscious about it. Some of them you consider much prettier than yourself and you would not give him a chance to compare your body to theirs. If he didn't like how you looked, he would leave. At least you assumed. Am I right?"

She opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but stopped. She paused. "You just know everything about me, don't you?"

He smirked and kissed her cheek. "Not everything. We were friends for years. I think you know me better than anyone else. You know things about me no one else does."

She grinned. "Very true." She kissed his lips and sighed in defeat. "Yes." She quietly admitted. "You are right. I was very self-conscious. I didn't feel good enough and expected him to leave me. It was a stupid fear, but it was a real fear. Our relationship wasn't as healthy as it should have been or could have been. Under different circumstances, maybe, just maybe, it could have worked, I don't know, but I'm glad for the mistakes. I know better, know different now. Our relationship has gotten off on a much better foot. I'm not comparing, I won't compare the relationships. I can't compare you to anyone."

"Sure you can."

"No." She shook her head. "You can't be compared to anyone because you are not like anyone else I know." She intimately twisted a couple of chest hairs in her fingers. "You know that by doing this with me, you will be at a new low in our world. Not that it matters."

"No." He said. "By doing this with you, I will be at a new high. Nothing makes me happier than being with you."

"I love you." She whispered into his ear. She reached for his pants and fiddled with the button. "I want your snake to enter my den."

He felt his mouth twist into smile. "So I have your permission to cross the threshold then?"

"Absolutely."

He reached around her back and unsnapped her bra as she undid the button. He put his hand on her jeans. She suddenly panicked. She wanted to do this, but she couldn't. "Sev?"

"Hmm?" He asked, kissing her neck. He started to unbutton her blue jeans.

"I can't do this. I don't have any potion made. What if I get pregnant?"

He let go of her pants. "So? I can use protection. I had planned to."

She wanted to smack her forehead. Of course he could. "Oh, right. I knew that. Never mind." She felt herself blush again. She was ruining this moment over petty things.

He gave her a puzzled look. Lily didn't know why she had forgotten that men had ways to stop unintended pregnancies as well. She just assumed he would expect her to take care of that. She had also taken it upon herself to do the protecting. However, she hadn't expected to need any potion yet and did not have any potion made up.

Severus was not expecting her to say that. _Certainly she knew I would protect myself. It was a simple spell. It was drilled in our heads since our first year. Why didn't she know that?_ He wondered and then it hit him. _Figures._ He used to hear Mulciber talk about how he never bothered to protect himself because it was the woman's responsibility to prevent a pregnancy. Maybe Potter was the same way? Then again, maybe she just forgot? He doubted that, but it had been awhile.

Severus pushed her auburn hair off of her forehead and gave it a kiss. "Lily, I'm not going to pressure you. If you aren't ready, we can wait. I don't want you feel rushed if you need more time."

"No, I am ready. I just don't want to get pregnant right now." She held onto his shoulders and sighed. "If you are going to protect yourself then I need not worry, right?"

"No. We should be fine." He caressed the side of her face along her hair with the back of his hand. "If something happened though and you did end up pregnant, we'll just have to deal with that. Let's hope that won't happen though. It shouldn't." He watched her smile reappear and swore he saw a bit of lust in her eyes as he gently caressed her bare shoulders.

She felt herself smile and gave a nod. She wasn't sure what would happen if they, on the off chance his protection failed, wound up with a baby on the way. Still, she hoped that would not be a concern. Severus was quite intelligent and she trusted him to know what he was doing. He was not careless, even if he was likely itching to sleep with her.

As he stroked her shoulders, she felt her desire for him increase. "I know." She said, rubbing his bare chest with her fingers. "I really want to do this."

She gave him a kiss and started to unzip him. He kissed her back and pulled down her jeans zipper. A sudden, rough pounding at the door startled both of them apart.

"I'm sure it's nobody." Lily said. "Ignore it." She grabbed his pants and started to pull them down.

Severus nodded and clutched the side of her jeans. As he prepared to pull them off, the door pounding increased.

"Lily? Are you in there? I need to talk to you." It was Sirius. They groaned in aggravation.

Severus grumbled to himself. Why did Black always manage to show up at the wrong times? Could they ever have some privacy in their own house? "Play dead. Maybe the mutt will go away."

She laughed quietly. "Sev!" She agreed with him though. Sirius always bothered them at the wrong times. They had this nice house to themselves and yet they still could not get much privacy. They were in the middle of something right now and she really did not want to see him.

"Lily, come on! Please? It's important."

She moaned, forcing herself to take her hands off of Severus. "I better answer the door before he wakes Harry up."

He agreed, reluctantly removing his hands from her. "Maybe we can hurry him along?"

"I hope he's not here long. He ought to be with his girlfriend anyway." Severus pulled on his shirt quickly and fixed his pants. She hastily refastened her bra and fixed her jeans before putting her shirt back on. She put her cardigan on and began to button it up on her way to the door. Once she was covered enough, she opened the door.

Sirius burst into the room.

"Would you like to come in, Sirius?" She asked sarcastically after he was in the house.

Severus and Lily looked at Sirius. He looked terrible. He was sweaty and pale and looked like he might be sick. He wrung his hands nervously and his breathing was shallow as if he was about to have a panic attack.

"Everything okay?" Lily asked.

"No, not okay. Very bad. I'm in trouble."

"What did you do now?"

"Quiet, Sniv-Snape." Sirius had stopped himself from saying the nickname he and James had brandished on him.

Severus and Lily looked at each other, shocked that he had corrected himself. This must have been serious. What had he done?

"I need your help. You had this problem. What do I do? Tell me what to do." Sirius paced their floor and began to talk to himself. "Wasn't supposed to happen. How could it? So stupid of her." That was all Severus and Lily caught of the conversation he was having with himself.

Lily looked at him, clearly confused. "What's the problem?"

"I can't do this. I'm not the type."

"Type for what?"

"Remember that half veela I met at the yogurt shop in Diagon Alley?"

"You mentioned her. Cara or something?"

"Chara."

"Sorry, Chara."

"We've been going out for a few months. Three months actually."

"Okay."

"I don't know what we were thinking. We had a few sips of firewhiskey on New Years' Eve and now." He tugged at his collar, his face more pale than a ghost. "We have a serious problem on our hands."

They both had a feeling what he was saying now. Lily was a little surprised, but also knew it was bound to happen at some point. She was momentarily speechless.

"You knocked her up!" Severus blurted out, trying to hide the amusement in his voice with no luck. He knew he was sneering. This was perfect. It was going to catch up with him at some point. Severus sat down in the easy chair. "This day just keeps getting better."

"What do I do?" Sirius pleaded to Lily.

"Deal with it." She said as if this was the obvious answer.

"I don't want to marry her. I saw how well that worked with you and James."

Lily could not argue with him there. "You don't have to marry her. I'd advise against that, but why would you not be more careful?"

"Why didn't you and James?"

Lily sat on arm of Severus's chair. "We aren't talking about my stupid behavior at 18, we are talking about you."

"Forget it. The point is that she's pregnant. She is already eight weeks along."

"32 more to go. Then you have 11 years until Hogwarts and another 7 until they are on their own." Severus piped in. "Good luck."

"I don't need your faux luck."

"I wasn't wishing you luck. I was wishing your unfortunate offspring luck. They'll need it."

Sirius twisted his neck to glare at Severus. "You are enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Every bit." He spoke with a sneer at the corner of his mouth.

"Well, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You two could find yourself in my predicament. Lily has already been it once."

"I'm not so reckless to get myself drunk and lie with my girlfriend without forethought to the consequences, Black."

"This isn't about us, Sirius. This is about you and Chara. I assume she plans on keeping it?"

"Of course she is. If she wasn't keeping it I wouldn't be in this mess, would I?" He snapped.

"I didn't know that it had been decided for certain. No need to get mad at me."

Sirius clenched his fists and let go in frustration. "She wants the baby."

"So you are going to be a father then. Congratulations."

"I don't want to be a father yet."

Severus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Perhaps you should have thought about that before raising the robes."

Black glared daggers at Severus, but said nothing to him. He turned back to Lily. "I can't have a child. I'm not mature enough."

Severus smirked to himself. _That's an understatement. _

"So? Start maturing then. You can't change what happened."

"I know. I know." He began to pace again. "I am stuck. I can't get out of this, can I? I have to support my son now. I can't support a kid."

Severus raised an eyebrow at that. "Son? It's too early to know the gender, isn't it?"

"My family is full of boys. I'm sure it is a boy."

"Are you now?" Severus snickered.

"Yes."

"Okay then, put my vote in for a girl."

"Are you trying to be the bane of my existence?"

"I'm sure I already am."

"Yes, you've been the bane of my existence since I met you on the train." A slightly pained look fell upon Black's face. Severus had no doubt he was thinking of Potter.

"The feeling is mutual, I promise."

"I am not marrying her. I don't want to marry her."

"Then don't. It'd be a terrible idea in my opinion. If you don't love each other enough, you'll resent each other and the kid will pay for it, but abandoning the kid is a shitty thing to do, Black."

Sirius was growing agitated. "Must you get involved in our conversation. I didn't ask for you opinion. No one was talking to you in the first place." He spat out.

"I didn't know you intended to have a private conversation with my girlfriend, Black."

Sirius gave Severus a look of utter loathing. "This is not your concern. You can leave."

"I live here, Black. Besides, I like seeing you fuck up. It's making my day."

"Why? Because you aren't the brunt of the joke for once. We've both seen you fuck up quite a bit. Always failed to defend yourself in our duel."

"Duels involve two people, it's a one-on-one fight, not four to one, you idiot. We never dueled."

Sirius chose to ignore this information. "How embarrassing was it for you again when you called your best friend a mudblood, found yourself exposed to the student body and then tried to beg for forgiveness. That was one major fuck up on your part."

Severus looked daggers at Sirius. Lily saw Severus whip out his wand. Before she could stop him, Sirius was thrown across the room, smashing into Harry's toybox, knocking it over and spilling the toys onto the floor.

Sirius made a grab for his wand. "You'll pay for that Snivel-"

"Sirius, don't start." Lily snapped at him.

"He's the one who started it."

Lily bit back her tongue to stop spiteful words from coming out. She rolled her eyes instead. Severus gave a fierce glare toward Black. Lily grabbed Severus's wrist to stop him from putting a curse on Sirius. Severus put his arm down and said nothing. He began to thumb through the muggle newspaper that was on the coffee table to prevent himself from using a wand-less hex. Sirius glared at Severus though Severus was ignoring him. Sirius turned away from him and back to Lily.

"What did James do before he proposed? How did he handle the news? He never told me."

"Well, he was upset and angry. We yelled at each other and stormed off. We didn't talk for a couple days and then he proposed. I said no."

"Then other people found out and you said yes. Potter went out of his way to propose to you and you rejected him."

Lily glowered at Sirius for that comment and took a breath to calm herself before speaking. She lifted her hand to Severus so that he would not lash out at Sirius for his rudeness.

"That was your fault. I'm not even going into how you tried to publicly humiliate him so I would say yes. This isn't about that. This is about you and Chara and your possible baby."

"No. I am not going to do what James did. I will not marry her. She has her parents around. She can handle the kid just fine."

Lily sucked in air, not saying anything. If she did, she knew she might regret it. Several colorful choice words came to her mind though. Severus surprisingly said nothing, just glared at Black with the sort of disgusted expression someone would use when they stepped in manure. Lily figured he was probably thinking about what curse to use on him and expected to see a duel between them soon. She hoped it wouldn't come to that, but she could see that happening.

"Don't even act like you would be happy if you got Lily pregnant."

Severus scoffed in disgust. "This isn't about us." He snapped.

"We weren't supposed to have a kid. I don't want a damn kid."

"Really? You don't want it so you are going to run and bury your head in the sand like an ostrich? You truly are pathetic, Black. At least Potter had the audacity to deal with the situation when it happened and the fact that I am even giving him credit for something good should tell how hopeless I think you are right now."

Sirius looked ready to curse him on the spot. It was obvious he had no retort. Instead, he turned to Lily, who looked no happier.

"You agree with him, don't you?"

"Yes. You can be very irresponsible sometimes. This is probably the lowest you have sunk. This is as much your fault as hers."

"James blamed you, didn't he? He considered it your fault for not taking that potion. Yes, he told me you were too much of a coward to admit you'd fucked him."

Sirius barely dodged the curse that Severus shot at him. Lily grabbed her own wand as Sirius pulled out his wand, ready to duel Severus. Lily did not want that. She felt that Severus probably shouldn't engage Black this way, but she understood his anger. Black deserved it.

Lily wanted Sirius out of the house. "Is there a purpose for being here? If not, you can escort yourself out."

"Are you going to hex me?"

"I just might."

"Don't think she can't take you, Black. She certainly can."

"Fine, don't help." Sirius spat in aggravation with them.

"What do you expect us to do? Side with you? I can't do that. I think you are wrong."

"When have we ever sided with you expect on sides of this war?"

"You didn't side with us in the war. You were a Death Eater. I know you were one so don't even think about denying it." Sirius turned to Lily. "Always were friends with the git. Then you finally got a good man and you blew it. Out of all of the single wizards you could have been with, you pick Snivellus. Are you confuded?"

"You know what, Black, I don't want you here anymore. Just go. I don't want you near Harry either."

"What?"

"You heard her. She wants you leave."

"This doesn't concern you, Snivellus."

"I don't want you around Harry. You are clearly not responsible enough to take care of a toddler. I don't know what you would say to him about us. I won't allow you to make him think Severus and I are worthless people. Just go. You have ruined our day together. I've had enough. Just get out."

"I'm his godfather."

"Some brief paperwork can change that."

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself. He looked like he was thinking. "Fine. I'm gone." He headed for the door. "I pity Harry."

Severus just sneered. "I pity your future child. I wish her luck. The poor baby will need it with a deadbeat like you for a father."

Sirius gave Severus a look of revulsion before leaving.

Lily watched him disappear. "Finally, alone."

Severus pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Lily sighed contently. The clock chimed in the background.

"I can't believe you said that to him."

"I meant every word."

"I am certain of that."

She looked up at him. "We might have some time before Harry gets up." She was slightly hopeful they could get back to what they were doing. They had been so close to doing the deed before being rudely interrupted.

"Not much, but if you want to, we can see how far we get."

Lily gave him a kiss. As he kissed her back, he felt her hands in his shirt. Severus quickly unbuttoned her cardigan. As he started to put his hands up her shirt, they heard footsteps upstairs. He took his hands out of her shirt, admitting defeat. Lily pulled his shirt back down and huffed. She guessed this just wasn't supposed to happen today.

Harry came down the stairs and into the living room as she rebuttoned her cardigan.

"Did you have a nice nap?"

He nodded. "I have to go potty."

"Okay." She picked him up and headed toward the bathroom. "Maybe next time? If we get some time to ourselves?"

He smiled back. _She had to ask?_ "Of course."

Lily took Harry into the bathroom. Severus huffed to himself. They had been so close to doing the task. The fact that she was willing to go all the way with him was enough to help him wait, but he really thought they were finally going to consummate. They would have if Black hadn't interrupted their alone time. He would just have to enjoy being with her while he could this afternoon, even without much physical contact. It was not going to be easy to find the time to be with her and get time alone with her again. They were both very busy with their lives right now. Still, he expected that at some point soon, he would indeed get the chance to finally lie with her. He hoped so anyway.

**_A/N:_**_ I totally procrastinated from doing a paper on compound complex sentences to finish this chapter. (It's a boring paper). But no one here will tell on me, right? ;) I just could not concentrate. I needed a break from all things school anyway. I enjoyed writing this chapter, but I'm not sure how good it is. I think it's just eh, but I always think that about my writing. Plus, I just didn't want to write my paper. I think doing laundry is more fun than writing a three page paper on the purpose and uses of a sentence structure, but that's just me. ;) _

_I am going back and editing my previous chapters. There are some typos/errors that need fixed and I just haven't fixed them yet. I accidently deleted chapter 1 and had to re-upload it, so I apologize for the random alert for Chapter 37 as Chapter 1. I had to do that and rearrange the order of all the chapters in the process. All is well now and Chapter 1 should now be cleaned up and hopefully free of any missing pronouns or prepositions, typos or grammatical errors (minus in casual conversation, which always has grammatical errors since people often do not speak grammatically correct all the time). _

_Also, talk of protection not being used by males is very common. I don't know why. I've heard dumb excuses, but that sentiment is quite common. Lots of young men will say anything to get a girl to bed and I just saw James as being no different. She was in a vulnerable state at the time (she had no family, no home anymore) and she was insecure and self-conscious in some ways. Again though, he's not that important here. He's just shown to explain these issues as it would pertain to her and Severus. And Sirius, he needs something to get him to grow up and I gave him one. _

_Anyway, thanks to all those who have alerted and favorite this story and added me to their author alerts. It always shocks me to see my inbox. Also, don't hesitate to let me know if you see a problem._


	39. Chapter 39: Nothing Else Matters

_Thanks __**TheAngelofIego, Elfsquire90, VerySmallProphet, KraziiePyrozHavemorefun, heytheremister, Sassymagpie, Jordina, Blazen, LunaSkylar, Girlylinnea, Gyoro and Ururun, Zireael07, Narutonarutolove, Ujemaima, Musicalfan2012, TOWTLS**_, _**Aspergillus, BigBangTheory**__ and __**vAMPkIMI**__ for the reviews!_

_Had a very busy week. As the holidays grow nearer, my job duties have increased. My workload at school has increased as well. But, another update finally. I said I would have an update at the end of last week and that did not happen, so I apologize. I was just too tired to finish. _

_*Not sure what happened, but I noticed six contracted words were missing on here. So was the date at the beginning. I went back to the document and those errors were not there. No idea why it did that, but they are fixed now. _

**Chapter 39: Nothing Else Matters**

_Late March 1983_

Lily shut off the coffee and took a bite of her toast. She was not very hungry, but she had training and needed something in her stomach. She turned to Harry, who was sitting at the table, pouting. She huffed. This was not starting out to be a good day.

"Harry, eat your breakfast."

"No!" He shook his head. "Don't like it. It's yucky."

"You like porridge with honey."

Harry shoved his bowl back. "I want eggs."

"You aren't getting eggs. Just eat your porridge."

He shook his head. "No."

"Fine, then. Don't eat." She was not in the mood for this today. She did not feel that well. She thought she might be coming down with something, but hoped not. She had a date with Severus tonight. They were going to the theatre. Something they hadn't done since the summer before their fifth year. She had not seen him for a couple weeks and missed his company. She had planned on having her neighbors keep Harry until ten, which would give her and Severus a couple hours of alone time after the movie. The last thing she wanted was to end up sick and cancel their plans.

There was a knock on the door. Lily went to answer it.

"He's in the kitchen. He's refusing to eat his breakfast. I don't have any eggs. It's what he wants and he's been fighting me all morning. I gave him his porridge. He likes it. He's just being stubborn."

"I'll make sure he eats it." Remus assured her.

"Thanks. I have to finish getting ready. I'm running late."

"I can tell."

"I overslept this morning. Harry woke me up."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, why?"

"Your face is a little pale, that's all."

"I'm fine. Tired, but fine. I'm going to be late." She hurried upstairs to grab her stuff and headed to her training.

It was not a good day. She started to get a headache and did not feel like eating lunch.

"Are you okay?" One of the other trainees in her group asked.

"I just have a growing headache. I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?"

She was not sure she was okay. Her neck was sore and the lights bothered her eyes. She wondered if she was getting a migraine. After lunch, she did not feel any better. She did not feel like doing anything and just wanted to lie down. She sat down and put her head in her hands. She could feel her hot cheeks and wondered if she had a fever. It felt like she did.

"Are you okay, dear?"

She shook her head. "I'm not feeling well. I have a really bad headache."

"You should go home. You don't look well. Go get some rest. We'll start fresh Monday."

"Oh, no, I can't, I"

"I insist. Go on home and get some rest."

She nodded and left for home. She went inside and was met by a shocked Remus.

"I didn't expect you home for another two hours." He looked at her. "You don't look so good. Are you sick?"

"I need to go lay down."

"I can take Harry to my place until three if you want?"

"That's fine." She fell onto the couch. The cold pillow on the couch felt good against her pounding head and hot cheek.

"Okay. I'll be back with Harry at three. Come on, Harry, we're going to my place."

"To your house?"

"Yes, let's go." Remus left with Harry. Lily was left to herself and went to sleep. She woke up when Remus dropped Harry back off. He put Harry down for his nap for her and left. She appreciated that and told him so.

Lily felt some cramping pains in her abdomen when she shifted spots on the couch. Her head felt heavy and she laid back down at the nausea that hit her. She could not really sleep. Lying down made her feel even more sick to her stomach. She turned on the television set to try to get her mind on something else, but the lights made her head throb so she turned it off.

Lily considered getting some medicine for her head. Her stomach heaved and she felt bile rise up her throat. She ran for the bathroom to vomit. After she had thrown up, she got into Severus's potions and took some of his stomach soother and headache reliever. She collapsed onto the couch and took another nap until Harry woke her up. She put up spells to keep him in the living room and rested while he played.

"Play with me, mummy."

"Honey, I don't feel well."

"Are you, you, sick?"

"I am very sick."

"You need a doc, a doctor."

"I'll be fine."

Harry went to his toy box and pulled out something and came back to her. "I'll make you better, mummy."

She gave him a weak smile. "Okay."

Harry put on a toy stethoscope on her chest above her breasts. He pretended to listen to her heart.

"Does my heart sound good, Dr. Harry?"

"Yes." He put his hands on her stomach.

She did not like that. Her stomach felt terrible. "Don't poke on my stomach, okay?"

"Okay." He took his hands off her belly and poked around her arm instead. "Is, is here okay?"

"Yes, my arm is fine. Thank you."

He laid the fake blood pressure cuff on her elbow. She laughed and felt a stabbing pain in her head when she did. She cringed and put her hands to her head for a minute to stop the throbbing.

Lily took the cuff. "You have to put it around the arm." She wrapped it around her arm and fastened the Velcro. "Now it's on."

Harry nodded and put his ear on the cuff. She tried to not laugh. He didn't need to know about muggle doctor equipment anyway and she was not in the mood to continuously correct him right now.

He unfastened the cuff and put it back in this toy bag and got out a fake thermometer.

"What's this?"

"A thermometer. It's used to take your temperature and see if you have a fever."

Harry pressed the oral thermometer against her forehead. She did not want it in her mouth so she did not correct him on how the thermometer worked.

"You have a feber."

"I do have a fever."

"You need rest and hot tea."

"That sounds lovely."

"How, how about tea and quiet?"

"Tea and quiet sounds very nice. Maybe I'll make us some hot tea." She pulled out her wand and sat up. That was a bad idea. Her stomach revolted. She got up and ran for the bathroom.

"Where, where, are you goin, Mummy?"

She shut the door and got sick. She felt horrible. Her stomach was still heaving internally even after she'd thrown up. She sat down on the floor. Her head was pounding and it felt like someone was beating the side of her head. She laid down and closed her burning eyes, shutting out the bright bathroom light. _This was one bad migraine._ She thought before sleep took over.

0o0o0o

_Friday evening. No more classes until Monday._ He thought to himself as he cleaned up his office. He had a date with Lily tonight and was hoping they could get the house to themselves for awhile. They had not had the chance to have the house alone since Valentine's Day. He wanted that alone time with her.

As he put up the papers his two detention students had written, there was a knock on the door.

"It's open."

The door opened. It was Professor Sprout. "I brought some of the mandrake juice I was told you needed for potions."

"Yes, thanks. You can set them on the shelf there." He pointed to the corner.

She put the bottles on a shelf and looked at him. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Just for a couple hours. I'll be back shortly."

"Out for a drink? I love a good firewhiskey away from the students now and again."

Severus sneered. "Yes, they sometimes give me the desire for a strong drink as well."

She laughed. "No, they are lovely. I just like a good drink and don't like to do so with the children in my care. I only drink on my nights off."

"I get away on my nights. Sometimes I have a drink, but I prefer sobriety on those nights."

"That's probably a good thing. My sister and her boyfriend found themselves in an uncompromised position after a drunken night together."

Severus smirked as he thought of Black's current position. He preferred to be completely sober when he lied with Lily. He wanted to remember something like that and not be in a drunken heap with her.

"Do you have a date with the young Lily?"

Severus was putting his files away when she asked this. He turned to her. "Who told you I had a date?"

"It's a small world. You can't keep such a relationship hidden. Everyone is well aware of the former Slytherin Death Eater with the muggleborn Gryffindor."

Rita Skeeter made their secrets known by covering his possible trial, where was mentioned as a traitor and spy and was ousted as a Death Eater by other Death Eaters. Despite having never responded on the status of their relationship, somehow intimate photos of them showed up on the cover of the _Daily Prophet_ and when they did, the two of them had to endure some howlers. It had been months since they have been headline news though. He did not care what they said about him though. He had screwed up once with Lily by letting his image and reputation win. He was not going to let happen again. Nothing else mattered to him besides her. If he was honest with himself, he had grown attached to her kid too. He was not so bad considering he was Potter spawn. He was a good kid in reality.

"We've noticed."

"I'm glad it does not bother you. It shouldn't."

"It does not."

"Good. You have a nice evening, Severus."

"Same to you, Pomona."

She left. He put on his coat and used the floo to get to their place. Harry was sitting on the floor, playing with some sort of toy where he matched shapes and colors. Harry stopped playing when he saw him.

"Is your mum upstairs?"

Harry shook his head and pointed to the bathroom. "Sick."

Severus looked at Harry. "She's sick?" He went to the bathroom. "Lily?" He knocked on the door. No answer. "Are you okay?" He opened the door. She was lying on the floor. He panicked for a moment, thinking she had passed out. He kneeled to her and realized she was sleeping. Why was she sleeping on the bathroom floor?

He got a closer look. She was shivering as if she was cold. He realized she was running a fever. He took her temperature. It was 40.2, which was very high. Severus figured he out to arouse her to keep her conscious. Something was wrong with her.

"Lily. Lily, wake up, please." The worry in his voice couldn't be mistaken.

Lily opened her eyes and let out a painful moan.

"Lily, it's me."

Lily turned slowly, her head pounding as she did. A wave of nausea hit her and she held her neck. "Sev?"

"Lily, what happened?"

"What are you doing here? Don't you, don't you have class?"

"It's almost six. We had a date tonight, remember?" She looked at him confused. "At the theatre. We were going to go watch a film and then come back here for some time alone, just the two of us."

She didn't remember until now. She moaned. "We did. I must have forgotten. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. We aren't going anywhere. You are far too ill for that."

"I'm sorry. I should have called." She looked at him. "You can go back to school."

"I think I'll stay around for awhile." He stroked the top of her head with the back of his hand.

"You shouldn't. I'll be fine. Can you find someone to watch Harry tonight? I need to be alone. I think it's just a migraine, that's all. A bad migraine."

He wasn't so sure. Her speech sounded funny. It was if she was confused about what was happening around her. She looked awful and it was obvious she was very sick. He noticed her posture was a little off. She held her head with one hand and neck with the other as if they hurt.

"A migraine? So you have a really bad headache?"

She attempted a nod and grimaced in pain. "Really bad headache. My neck hurts. It's stiff. I don't know why." She curled up, shivering almost violently. "Maybe I hit it. I don't remember hitting my head. I'm so cold."

Severus was slightly confused. She was talking about different things. "So you did not hit your head? Did the headache come on suddenly?"

"Not really. It was just a headache, but it got bad quickly."

"Are you having trouble seeing?"

She shook her head. "Not really, no. The light hurts my eyes though. Can you shut it off?"

They'd be plunged into darkness if he did and he would not be able to see her. "What did you do today?"

"Nothing. I was fine this morning and went to training. Around lunch my head started to hurt and I wasn't hungry. It got worse and my neck started to hurt. The lights were making it worse. Can you turn off the light?"

"I won't be able to see anything. We'll leave the bathroom in a minute. What happened while you were at training? Did you get sick?"

She shook her head painfully. "They told me to go home. I did and took a long nap, but it just got worse. My neck was sore and stiff and my head was throbbing. I had a fever. I knew I was sick. Remus took Harry for awhile and then Harry took a nap."

"Your neck hurts?"

She nodded. "And then I started to get pains in my stomach, my abdomen. I suddenly became nauseous and started to vomit."

"You have been physically sick? How many times?"

"Twice so far. I still felt sick so I stayed in the bathroom. Harry's fine. I blocked him-" She swallowed and took a breath to stop the waves of nausea that kept piercing her. "I blocked him from going anywhere except his toy box."

"You still feel sick to your stomach?"

She gave a nod, but she appeared to be in pain as she did. "Yes, very sick." She mumbled out.

Severus figured she probably just had some sort of virus. He summoned a blanket, placing it over her. He then got a cloth and wet it with lukewarm water. He put it on her forehead and gently massaged her neck. She still shivered violently.

Lily felt the cloth on her forehead and then felt his rough hands caressing her neck in a massage. She closed her eyes again as a wave of nausea hit her. It was not a good day. All she wanted was to go to sleep and not wake up until she felt better.

"Where's Harry?"

"In the living room where you blocked him."

"When did I block him in?"

"I don't know. How long have you been in the bathroom?"

She seemed to ponder this with confusion. He gave her a concerned look. This was not a good thing. Maybe she needed a doctor? It was already evening though. Maybe the hospital? He could do a diagnostic, but it would not be as good as a healer's spells for diagnosis.

"Can Remus watch Harry tonight?"

"I thought he couldn't because he had to pick up his dad from the hospital?"

"Oh."

"Don't worry about Harry. I'll keep an eye on him."

"You don't have to care for Harry."

"I do."

"He's not your responsibility."

"He is. He is a child in our house. We share this house and we share the responsibilities. Harry is our responsibility."

She looked at him in shock. "He's not your child."

"No, but he's your child and he's not a bad kid. He's not that difficult to care for."

"No. He's a good one. I got lucky." She gave a small smile.

"You got lucky." _Especially with Potter as the boy's father. You certainly dodged a bullet in this case_. As he thought that, Lily sat up and grimaced in pain.

"Contact our neighbors and tell them they don't, they don't have to watch Harry. I need to do that."

"I will do that. Don't worry about it."

Lily started to feel really nauseous again. She knew she was going to throw up. Severus noticed that she suddenly looked "green."

"Are you okay?"

"Go." She said, shaking a little. "Get out of the room."

"Why?"

Lily moved to the toilet. "I'm going to throw up. Please go."

Severus got to his feet. Her breathing increased.

He turned to leave and he heard her dry heaving before he left the bathroom. He left her alone for a few minutes and looked in on Harry. Harry was moving a toy train along plastic tracks, oblivious to his mother's illness. Severus left the house and went next door to inform his neighbors that they would not need to watch Harry tonight. He went over Lily's symptoms on the way, trying to figure what illness she might have. _She had a fever with chills, she was slightly disoriented and weak, and she had a really bad headache and a stiff neck along with nausea and vomiting. It did not sound good, whatever it was. She needs to see a doctor. Maybe she had hit her head and had a serious concussion. She was so confused it was possible she had forgotten_.

He knocked on the bathroom door when he got back home. He slowly opened it. Lily was now sitting by the sink, looking sicker than she did when he first arrived. "Lily, I think you need to go to the hospital."

"I'm fine." She said. "It's just a migraine. Maybe a stomach bug. It's nothing."

"No, you're not fine. I don't think it's a stomach virus or a migraine. I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I'll be okay."

"We're going to see a doctor, end of discussion."

She did not shoot him an angry glance or fight with him on his insistence. He knew at that moment she definitely needed a doctor. Lily stood up and headed for the door. She nearly fell. He caught her before she hit the ground.

"Are you okay?"

"Lost my footing."

He didn't believe that. She was very weak. He put arm around her waist and helped her to the front door. Lily held her head, trying to stop the throbbing. She shut her eyes to stop the nausea that kept hitting her. Severus turned to Harry.

"Come on, we're leaving."

"Where, where, are we goin?" Harry asked.

"Your mother needs a doctor. We're going to the hospital."

"Hospit-ol?"

"Yes, she's very sick. We need to go." Harry got up and followed Severus outside. He scooped Harry up and apparated with them to St. Mungo's. He helped Lily inside.

"Can I help you?"

"My wi-I mean, my girlfriend, she's very sick."

Lily smirked at him almost calling her his wife.

"Name and date of birth, dear?"

"Lily Marie Evans. January 30, 1960." She saw Severus looking at her funny.

"Your last name is Potter now."

"What?"

"You gave her your maiden name."

_Had she?_ "Oh, sorry, Potter."

"Your name, sir?"

"Severus Snape."

"Okay, Mr. Snape, we are going to take Lily with us. You can wait in the room over there." The lady turned to Lily. "Follow her into that room, dear."

Another woman took Lily by the waist and helped her into a room to check her out. Severus looked at Harry.

"Where, where's she going?"

"She is seeing a doctor."

"A doctor?"

"Yes."

"Why, why, why does she need a doctor? Does she have a feber?"

"Yes."

"She needs med-sin."

"Yes, she does." He put Harry down and sat in a chair in the waiting room.

"Mummy needs rest and tea."

Severus shrugged slightly. "I'm sure she'd like that."

"She, she did not take her, her tea. That's why she's sick."

"Maybe."

Harry went over to a fish tank. Severus thumbed through a wizard magazine there. He felt a tug at his robes a few minutes later.

"Look, Daddy! Look!"

Severus put the paper down. He'd given up on telling the kid he was not his father. It was no use.

"What?"

Harry pointed to the fish. "The fishies, they eated the food."

"Oh."

"Big fishies with toothes."

"Teeth." Severus corrected.

"The fishies have big teethes and they, they, swimmed around."

"They swam."

"They, they, swimmeded in the water. It got big and rolleded away." He eyes were wide with excitement as he looked at Severus. He continued his story. "The green stoled it. He needs a time out." He said with a look of seriousness that made Severus nearly laugh. He had no idea what the kid was talking about. "Right? He mean."

Severus felt a smile tug at his lips. "What did the fish do? Why does he need a time out?"

"No. The green monster did it."

"The green monster?"

"He taked it. He's a bad fishy."

"What did he take?"

"The little fish."

"He ate the fish."

"No, he takeded the fish." Harry said.

Severus figured either one of the large fish ate the little fish or the little fish was hiding and Harry did not understand either concept. "What did he do with the fish?"

"He hide it."

"Where did he hide it?"

Harry pulled on Severus's arm. "See the fishy."

Severus was not really in the mood to look at fish, but he got up anyway. Harry pointed to the tank. "See? See? The monster."

Severus saw seaweed and turned to Harry. "That's seaweed, Harry. It's not a monster."

"It stoled the fishy." A small blue and red fish swam up from behind one of the plants. "The fishy scaped!"

Severus shook his head. "I think it was just hiding."

"Mr. Snape?" Severus got to his feet and turned to the voice. The woman motioned for him to follow her.

"Should I bring the kid?"

"Yes."

"Come along, Harry."

"Where are we goin?"

"We are going to follow the lady." Harry hurried behind Severus, who was following the woman.

"We've run some tests and she has a viral infection of the brain."

Severus felt panicked for a second. That did not sound good. The healer apparently noticed.

"Don't worry, she's fine. She'll recover without any treatment. She just needs some rest and fluids, especially if she's vomiting. You can take her home."

"Oh."

"It's good you came in though. Sometimes the infection is bacterial. It's hard to tell the difference. If it was bacterial, it would be dangerous and she would require an overnight stay with lots of potions to expel the bacteria and clean her up. I gave her some cream to clear up the rash."

"The rash?"

"Yes, it happens with this sort of viral infection. I've seen it a lot the past couple of months. A wizard enterovirus. We did give her some stomach soother and pain reliever."

He nodded and met Lily in the hallway. They went back home and she took to the couch. Severus got a cold cloth and a glass of juice for her. She took a couple sips and set it down. He put the cloth to her forehead.

"I'm sorry about our evening."

"Don't be sorry. It's okay." He laid down beside her and lifted her shirt to see a reddish purple rash across her stomach.

"I think I got it at training. Someone was sick with some viral illness about a week ago."

He pulled her shirt back down and began to gently massage the back of her neck with one hand, holding the cloth to her head with the other.

This was not how she originally planned her evening. She had wanted to lay with him, but not this way. Her way did not involve her being sicker than a dog. Still, this was as close as she wanted him to get tonight. They'd have to wait for another free night to have an empty house alone for a couple hours. Right now, she would take the head and neck massage. It made her feel a little better and comforted knowing he was here with her. His touch was enough right now. Being with him was enough at the moment. She had wanted alone time with Severus, but it was nice to be here with Severus and Harry too. Nothing else mattered to her besides them anyway. Nothing else mattered at all.

_**A/N:**__ About Harry knowing what doctor equipment. Lily was raised muggle. I'm sure she knows what the doctor's equipment is and the purpose of it. I imagined it to be a gift from their (muggle) neighbors. And Lily's illness is similar to viral meningitis, but a bit different. I mixed it up slightly with similar ailments to create a new one-a wizard style one. _

_Title taken from the song "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. It was not released until 1991, but I like the song. It's not like I had them listening to it. ;)_


	40. Chapter 40: I Want to Know What Love Is

_Review list was missing. Fixed now. _

_Thanks to **MistressXofXCastleXOblivion, Tess4aria, LingeringFears, Philosopherstone909, BlooDsuckKeR69, TheAngelofIego, IonicAmalgam, Narutonarutolove, MarissaRosee, Ujemaima, Tinithor, Jordina **and **Cara-tanaka** for the reviews. _

_*Another intimate chapter-I've already warned so no complaining-it's rated M.*_

_Feelings are described, but not inappropriately. At least I don't think so and I still say you will find more inappropriate content in a PG13 film than what I will ever describe here._

_-Sorry about the couple blemishes. I think I fixed them now. Sorry about the reload too. I accidently deleted the chapter when I was trying to replace it (don't ask). Had to reload. _

**Chapter 40: I Want To Know What Love Is **

_End of April 1983_

Lily came downstairs and saw Severus reading to Harry. She could not help but smile. She did not make her presence known so she could listen.

"That night he had a stomachache."

"That, that's cause he eated all the food." Harry said.

"Yes." Severus answered.

"If I eated it all, I, I, would have tummy ache."

"I'm sure you would. That would be a lot of junk food."

Harry flipped the page for him. "That's a big leave."

"It is a big leaf." Severus cleared his throat. "The next day was Sunday again… Then he nibbled a hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out and" Harry flipped the page for Severus. "he was a beautiful butterfly." Severus shut the book.

Harry threw his hands up in confusion. "The end?"

"That's the end. He became a butterfly." _A rather silly book._ He thought to himself.

"Read again?"

"Maybe your mum will read it tonight when we get back."

"Where are, are we going?"

"Your mum and I are going out to dinner. You are going to go to Lupin's where you can bug him and play with his stuff."

Lily touched Harry's messy hair. Harry turned around to see who had touched him. "Mummy!"

Severus turned to Lily and smiled. She looked beautiful. "Are you ready?"

"Yep. Let's go." She picked Harry up from the couch. Severus got up and followed her out the door. They went to Lupin's and dropped Harry off.

"Are you sure you feel up to watching Harry?" Lily asked. She had been unsure about leaving Harry with Remus though since the full moon was only a couple days before. Lily had figured he would be too tired, but Remus had insisted he could handle Harry and would be happy to have him over.

"Yes, I'm fine. A little tired, but it gives me something to do."

"I just don't want to wear you out."

"No, not at all. You two go enjoy your evening. We'll be fine."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure. Go on."

Lily turned to Severus. "Let's go then."

They left the house and went into town.

Lily sighed to herself as Severus talked to her. They had finished dinner early and were now just talking, enjoying each other's company. Severus had been so busy with his job and her Saturdays had been booked with training sessions, they had not had the chance to go out alone for awhile. The last time they had planned a night out, she had ended up sick. Today she felt great. Part of her was nervous, the other hopeful. There was no doubt in her mind though. She was content with her situation and circumstances right now. There was only one thing left that she wanted to do.

It was almost hard to listen to him. She kept looking at him instead. She noticed every part of him she could, even how he moved. It was killing her. The way he moved his fingers through his dark hair when he talked, the way he smiled at her, the way he ran his thumb over his forehead when he was thinking, everything he did was turning her on for some reason. He was unknowingly tempting her to grab him in a passionate embrace and apparate home so she could have her way with him already. She was dying for this. Her mouth went dry as she watched him fix his shirt. She watched him put his rough hand on the table. He was saying something, but she did not hear it. Her mind was elsewhere.

Severus looked her when she spoke and tried to follow her as best he could, but he was too distracted. She was the distraction. He just watched her, feeling almost lustful. He tried to snap out of it, but everything she did was turning him on even more. The way she tucked a lock of her hair back when she was unsure of what to say, the way she spoke with her hands, the way she smiled and laughed, the way her hair almost resembled fire in the lighting of the room, everything she did was causing his heart to pound and his body to pulsate for some reason. It was killing him. He was quite tempted to grab a hold of her, get home fast and not let go of her for quite a long time. Oh, how he hoped she wanted to do the same. He knew he wanted to do this with her, but he did not realize just how much he wanted to move into that aspect of their relationship until now.

"So," Lily spoke and watched him look up from her chest and into her eyes. "Are you ready to go on home? I told Remus I'd come for Harry around nine, but maybe we should go get him."

"I'm ready to go on home, but what's the rush to get Harry?"

"So I don't have to go back out for him later. It's almost his bedtime anyway. I can put him to bed and we can have the rest of the night to ourselves." She cleared her throat. "We have the whole night to ourselves after all."

Severus felt a sly grin forming on his lips. "Yes. I have the whole night off."

They paid for their meal and apparated to Remus's. Lily knocked on the door.

"Come in. Harry's playing with my broom."

"Is that a good idea?" Lily asked nervously as they entered the house.

"Oh, he's fine. He can't go anywhere. I made sure of it."

Lily sighed with relief and she prepared Harry to leave.

Remus turned to Severus while Lily put on Harry's jacket. "So, you get the whole night off?"

"Yes."

"You better enjoy it while it lasts."

"I plan to." Severus looked at Lily with a sly smile.

Lily gave Severus a similar playful smile back. They certainly hoped to make the most of his free time.

"Did you have a nice time?"

"It was nice." Lily answered. "Did Harry behave for you?"

"Of course. No trouble."

"Good." She scooped Harry up. "Thanks again for watching him."

"No trouble. It gives me something to do besides sit here."

Lily mentally sighed. It was awful he could not have a job and had to be dependent on others for a living.

"Goodnight, Remus."

"Night, Lily. Severus. Night, Harry."

"Night." Harry said.

They took Harry home. Lily flipped on the light when she entered the house and put Harry down. Severus shut the door behind them.

"That was nice dinner."

"I don't think sandwiches are considered a fancy meal."

"But it was good."

"True." Severus grabbed her shoulders and pulled off her light jacket. She smiled at him.

"Thanks." She sighed. "I'm going to put Harry to bed. I'll be back." She went upstairs. Severus sat in the easy chair and looked around the room. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and he did not know why. He felt nervous. He was never nervous. His finger caught the end of the paper he was gripping and he grimaced at the cut. _Dammit. Calm yourself. What the hell is wrong with you?_ He repaired his cut with his wand and shut his eyes, taking a deep breath to relax.

Lily got Harry into his night clothes and put him to bed. She went back downstairs nervously. Her heart pounded her chest as she approached the landing. She looked at him. He was thumbing through a copy of the _Daily Prophet_. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath before descending the last couple of stairs to the main floor. Her throat went dry when she tried to speak to alert her presence. She cleared her throat to try and get her mouth to work.

Severus turned when she cleared her throat and stood up. "Harry asleep?"

"Sound asleep."

"So we have the next few hours to ourselves?" He cleared his own throat as he approached her.

"Looks like it. What should we do? Any ideas?" She asked.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I have a couple."

"I bet they are the same as mine." She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss his lips.

Severus put his hands on her hips. "I hope so." He put his mouth over her own, tasting her tongue.

Lily pulled him back in their embrace until she was against the wall by the stairs. She felt her body pulsate. She wanted him. Lily could feel his coarse hands stroking her spine, enticing her to him. Her body throbbed under his touch. Oh, god, how she wanted him, all of him. She desired for him to have his way with her. It had weeks since they had the chance to go for this again and they had the chance now. They were alone. Sirius would not be able to interrupt them. No one would interrupt them this time. She would not let them. She was dying to be with him and give in to temptation. Ten whole weeks she had waited. Only once did they get close to doing it again, but Harry had interrupted them before she got her shirt off. She needed him to do this with her. She wanted to see how he would be and to get over her fear of being unclothed in front of him.

Severus felt his entire body pulsate in her embrace. As her hands slid from his hips to his groin, he fought to maintain control of himself. He was having trouble breathing. Oh, god, how he wanted her. He wanted all of her, every inch of her. His heart was pounding in his chest, ready to burst in anticipation. He had a feeling he was finally going to do this with her. It had been ten weeks since they had gotten the chance to really do anything. Now they had plenty of time and were alone. He wanted to give himself to her, let her do whatever the hell she wanted with him. He just wanted her to lie with him already.

He began to slide his hands up her shirt. Lily felt his cold, rough hands start up her stomach and grasp her bosom. She could not take it anymore. She let out a moan.

"This isn't a good place to do this."

"No. Upstairs?"

She nodded, hardly able to breathe.

"Your room?"

"Wherever you want. Let's just go."

They hurried upstairs and into her room. Lily kicked the door shut and Severus locked it. They stripped their clothing and got into bed.

Lily felt very uncomfortable lying next to him. She knew he did not care and was probably drinking in her body, but she was not comfortable with him seeing her this way. It was too late though. He already had. Severus could sense her insecurity. He put his arms around her. She felt herself relax in his embrace. She could do this. Her body craved his.

"You are beautiful. You have a beautiful body. I mean that."

She took a deep breath and kissed his mouth. Lily put her hands around his bare back and got as close as she could to him. Her desire for him won over her anxiety.

It was awkward at first with Lily still uneasy about her bare body and Severus never having done this before and neither was sure how to make it happy and enjoyable moment for each other. After a couple uncomfortable minutes, they were finally able to fully enjoy each other, sharing the intimacy like climbing and twisting vines. Once they both surrendered to one another and gave themselves completely together, the rest feel into place.

They gently clashed together like lightning bolts. The heat of themselves warmed to one another and melted into the other with complete pleasure. The calm, simple flames of desire they had for each other had moved past the physical aspect of their relationship. It had become an unquenchable fire, blazing through them with their love for the other person. Quiet, thunderous sounds were emitted from their throats unconsciously, signaling their satisfaction with the other's behavior. What was done was done between them and nothing would be same. Lily and Severus looked into each other's eyes and sensed the change between them instantly. It was a thirst for the other they had no intentions of quenching. It was an appetite that would be forever insatiable because their desire to learn about the other would never cease. Not after this moment.

Severus held her close to him, breathing hard. He could not believe this was happening to him. He did not know how he had held out this long. Never had he felt anything as wonderful as this. He was enjoying this immensely, much more than he ever thought or imagined he would. He had assumed it would be more uncomfortable than it was to be unclothed in front of her and he assumed Lily's self-consciousness of her body would be more of a problem. How wrong he had been. She had calmed quickly and surrendered to him right after he had willingly given himself to her. He found that everything seemed to fall into place after that moment.

In her eyes, he knew. He knew this had been the right thing to do and this was the right time to have done it. They had needed this for confirmation that what they were doing was the right thing to do. Nothing needed said between them. He knew now that whatever the future held, it involved the two of them together. He loved her before. He loved her now more than ever.

_Sweet Merlin._ Lily thought to herself, trying to catch her breath. She had no idea how she had waited this long. It was well worth the wait though. She had expected him to do what he wanted with her, but found that Severus was not letting her do that. He had made it clear from the start that he wanted her to have her own way with him too. She found she liked it better that way.

Lily looked into his obsidian colored eyes and felt herself relax completely in his company. She knew this had been the right thing to do. It was the right time to have done this with him. This was what she had needed and never noticed it before. She realized she had needed to be with him this way. It would not work everyone, but for them, this moment was important. Whatever came their way, she knew her life would involve him. The love she felt racing through her and the love he held in his eyes for her told her this was real. She loved him now more than she ever had before.

She did not realize it until they finally released from each other that she had never experienced this type of sexual activity. Lily could not stop smiling and actually felt her eyes grow wet in her happiness. Her heart kept racing in her chest as if she had just run a marathon and won. She had overcome her fear of her body. She had nothing to hide now. He had seen and experienced her. She had been unsure at moments about going through with this, fearing it would break the relationship. That thought was now gone forever. This had ignited something inside her she had never felt before.

Severus felt his heart still racing in his chest. He knew he was smiling. He was smiling brighter than he ever had before. He felt like he had won a race and in a way, he had won something. He was not used to feeling genuinely happy, but he felt happier than he had ever felt in his life. Something inside him had changed in their time together. It was like something hidden deep inside had ignited. Whatever it was, he loved the feeling.

"Damn." He said, thinking about how they had arrived at this point in their relationship.

"You said it." She told him. She turned to him. She was not completely satisfied. She wanted more of him. It was not enough for her. This time helped, but it was not enough.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm completely wonderful thanks to you. Why do you ask?"

"You look like you are going to cry, but you are smiling."

She noticed he was smiling too, brighter than she had ever seen him smile. It made her realize he had enjoyed this just as much as she had. It was not enough. She wanted more of it, of him.

"I'm fine. I'm just happy, that's all."

She felt his thumbs at her eyes, brushing her tears away. "That was much better than I imagined."

She nodded in agreement.

Severus could not believe he had done this with her. This was more amazing than he could have imagined. It was odd at first, but it was pure elation by the end. He thought that was it for now, but he did not feel ready to end it. "You want to make love again?" He asked on whim, wanting to feel the ignited bit of him once more.

She turned her head to him. "Yes." She turned completely to him and they made love again. It was even better than the first time. They went for a third time without any reservation. They finally broke apart for the night after more than two hours together.

Lily laid beside Severus contently. Severus's hand caressed Lily's bare side and thigh as she laid against his side. Lily took his free hand with her own free one and closed her eyes. They did not have to say a word. They already knew how they felt about their relationship. There was no going back, only forward. This position was where they belonged. Total bliss was the only way they could describe this night and this moment for them. They did not think they could feel any happier than they did right now.

She didn't want to break apart from his touch, but she needed to take her potion before long or it would be ineffective.

Lily sat up and Severus followed suit. She got out of bed and got her night clothing. Severus grabbed his clothes. Lily turned to him before he left the room. "Thanks."

"No." He said. "Thank you." He kissed her mouth and she kissed him back.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom and get dressed for the night."

He watched her leave with a smile on his face. Severus looked over at the bed, drinking in what had just happened between them. It had really happened. He just could not believe his luck tonight. No interruptions, just each other.

He left and went to his room to get dressed for the night.

Lily went back to her bedroom and drank her potion. She had forgotten how bad it tasted.

Severus laughed at the face she made. "Must taste bad."

"I forgot just how bad. It works though."

She sat on the bed. Severus sat beside her. She gripped his lips with her own. He laid down on the bed, taking her with him. She smirked when she removed her mouth from his.

"What?" He asked.

"My mum." She stifled a chuckle.

"Your mum?"

"I could just imagine what she'd say if she saw us like together like this, how we just were together."

"I doubt she'd care. You are an adult after all."

"Oh no, she'd be ready to throttle me. She would not stay mad though. I think she would be happy that it was you I was with. She always liked you. I think she hoped we would be together. She never knew we had a falling out. To know that I am with you and that we are quite happy together, she would be elated. I think if she knew what we were just doing though, she'd be mortified. We are not married."

He liked hearing that. He liked Lily's mother. She had been a sweet woman. "I'm glad we didn't wait."

"Me too. I needed this more than I thought. It was better than anything I imagined. I did not expect us to spend no less than two straight hours doing what we did and certainly not three times, but I could not stop. It's your fault." She said with a smile.

"My fault? No, it was yours. You tempt me too much." He joked.

She smirked. "Don't blame women for your lack of self control."

"I have plenty of self control. Just not around you. You're the one who couldn't stop, right? Where's your self-control?" He teased.

"I have lots of self-control. Just not with you."

"You're the only woman who could cause me to lose self control. You tempt me without even trying."

Lily turned to him with a smile. He smiled back warmly and they embraced lips. As she cuddled up against him, she considered asking if he wanted to make love again, but he seemed rather tired. She could wait.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"I probably will soon. I'm exhausted."

"It was a long day."

"It was wonderful day."

"Definitely." She sighed. "I don't want you leave. I want to stay like this."

"Me too. I am glad I got the night off completely. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now."

She stroked his chest. "No, there's nowhere else I want to be either. Here with you is bliss. I have missed you. I hate you being gone so much, but I know it's your job."

He rubbed her back. "I miss you as well. I think you about quite a bit."

"Me too."

It was silent as they caressed each other intimately. He soon got quiet and quit rubbing her back. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He had fallen asleep. She sighed contently and closed her eyes, dreaming about him. It was a very pleasant dream. It was the two of them together happily like they were earlier that night. She could almost feel his arms around her again. They were lying in a field, completely exposed and covered by tall weeds from possible prying eyes. She was about to reach him in her dream when the ground from under them started to move. Her dream was interrupted, startled by the sudden jarring to her body. She suddenly felt tense as if something was wrong and opened her eyes with a fright. Something under her head was jostling her a bit and she remembered that her head was lying on Severus's stomach.

He was moving about oddly. His legs tensed up, moving up the bed. He was gripping her gown with one hand, the sheets with the other. The sheer force of his grip concerned her. He was shaking almost violently. His stomach was heaving from under her and his back arched slightly a couple times as if he was in pain, which greatly concerned her. Was he sick? She lifted her head and turned to look at his face. He was sweating profusely and let out a quiet shrill cry like a wounded animal. He was still asleep. He was dreaming. She shoved his side.

"Wake up! Sev! You're dreaming! Wake up!"

He didn't wake up. He just yelled out in pain when she shoved at his side. He arched his chest and mumbled something unintelligible. She had to get him awake. She kept shoving him. She tapped his face and was considering getting some ice to put down his back when he bolted up with a start and yelled out.

"No!"

It startled her, especially as he took her with him when he jumped up, still gripping her gown.

"Sev, it's just a dream, that's all."

Severus heard her speak and turned to her. She was still here. It was just a dream. Maybe this was a dream and his reality was back there. He pinched her.

"Ouch." She rubbed her arm in confusion. "What'd you do that for?"

He pinched himself. "I'm not dreaming. This is real."

She laughed. He had pinched her to see if he was dreaming. "Of course it's real."

He was breathing really hard and his eyes were wide with sheer terror. His face was sickly pale and it made her apprehensive.

_It wasn't real._ He told himself. _It had seemed so real. She was alive. She was okay. She was with him. What I dreamed wasn't real._

"This is real. We are a couple. Harry's asleep in his bed down the hallway. We live in a house together."

"Yes." She laughed again. "Of course. What's the matter?" She frowned. "Sev?"

"What time is it?"

"Just after one."

"We made love earlier. That actually happened."

"We most certainly did." She smiled at him coyly. "Three times." Lily looked at him and her face fell in horror. "Sev? Sev, talk to me. What's wrong?"

He saw her looking at him with her emerald eyes, fear in her eyes. It had seemed so real. It felt so real. He would have sworn that was his reality and this wasn't. It was backwards though. Lily and Harry were his realities. They were both alive and okay. Harry was safe. Lily was safe. He was safe. He looked down at his left arm and pulled up the sleeve. The scar would be proof he was in reality. He lifted his arm and sure enough, it was just a scar. None of that ever happened. It was just a nightmare, but it was definitely a reminder at how lucky he was, she was, Harry was. All his emotions and anger and mistakes welled up inside him. He choked back all emotion, forcing his shields up.

Lily was watching him and saw him go from alarmed to emotionless. She realized that he had thrown up his shields and that was when she felt frightened. What had he seen? It must have been awful. He never threw up his shields around her. "Sev? What happened? What did you see?"

She wrapped his arms around him. "Whatever you saw, it's not real. I promise. Everything's okay."

Severus felt her arms around him, holding him tightly. Her embrace calmed him a little. He took her in his arms and held her close to him. Yes, he was glad that what he had beside him and around him was real. Lily with him was real. Harry down the hall sound asleep in his bed was real. The bedroom across from Lily's was his room. This was his house. This was Lily's house. They shared this house. This was reality.

"Everything is fine, Sev. Honest." She kissed his lips.

Severus felt her lips against his own and felt himself snap out of his thoughts. He began to kiss her back. This was definitely real. She removed her lips and laid her head on his chest once he laid back down.

"What did you see? What was your nightmare about it?"

"Nothing important. Just a different life for us."

"You mean like if we had been together in the first place?"

He shook his head. "No. That would have been a pleasant dream."

She smiled for a second. "Then what?"

"I know I've said it before but I truly am sorry."

"For what?"

"You could have died that night and it would have been my fault."

"Sev, we've been through this. It's not your fault. It was Peter's fault far more than yours. You tried to right a wrong. You got out of your situation the best way you could. Peter sold us out, not you. You-Know-Who is the one to blame. He's the one who went after us."

"And that's my fault. If I had never said anything. If I could take it all back."

"Stop." She put her finger to his lips. "Please. We've been over this." She removed her finger. "What brought this up? What did you see in your dream? Your nightmare? Please tell me."

Severus knew it was silly to bring it up, but he had to bring it up. "How could you ever have forgiven me? I don't deserve it."

"We all deserve it. I've screwed up a lot. Messed up and said things I wish I could take back. I regret things I've said to you and behind your back after our friendship broke. I don't want to rehash all this stuff we've discussed before. I don't want to keep apologizing for things already forgiven between us. Tell me what you saw. Please? Talk to me."

"My mistakes put you in a bad position and if you had died that night, I never would have forgiven myself. Never."

"Sev-"

"I mean it. That's what I saw. A vision of my life if you hadn't survived."

_**A/N:**__ Story: __The Very Hungry Caterpillar__ by Eric Carle. Title from song: __I Want to Know What Love is__ by Foreigner (one of my absolute favorite songs of all time). _

_And I apologize for the song titles as chapters or in the story. My dad grew up in the 70s and well, he loves rock. I was raised on all things rock and all music of the 70s and 80s. _

_Also, I wanted it to be intimate, but tried to keep it from being explicit in its content. So, yes, I did mention how they felt in a way, but I tried to stay from descriptions of their actions that would make it explicit. Yes, I wanted to show them intimate, but not what they were doing or how. That's up the imagination as I don't think I could go any further without getting risking getting explicit. _

_Definition of explicit 1: expressing all details in a clear and obvious way, leaving no doubt as to the intended meaning. 2: definite and unqualified, and not implied or guessed at._

_3. Showing or describing sex openly: portraying nudity or sexual activity in an open and direct way. _

_I don't believe I portrayed either in an open and direct way. _

_Open: Frank and Honest: not trying to hide anything or deceive anyone. _

_No deceptions, but not direct either. _

_Direct: Straightforward: easy to understand or respond to. _


	41. Chapter 41: Night of Reckoning

_Thanks to **Philosopher909, Sassymagpie, Musicalfan2012, TheAngelofIego, Illbeyouralways, Cara-tanaka, Ujemaima, Zireael07, IonicAmalgam, Sab756, BigBangTheory, KraZiiePyrozHaveMoreFun, Angel67Demon, Jordina, MarissaRosee, Tinithor, Narutonarutolove, Girlylinnea, Phoenix1592, Gyoro and Ururun, Morgan, Granatapfel** and **PurplewolfDOTcom** for the reviews last chapter!_

_A/N: I should mention I almost never read author interviews because I don't like having a book interpreted for me. What's the point of reading a book if I can't analyze and come up with my own interpretations for scenes? So while I did hear that JKR might have suggested Lily was flirting, I don't see it. I am sticking with my interpretations of events how I saw them. Also, if Rowling said this before DH came out, it's entirely possible she was leading people own since she would not want us to know about Severus and Lily before that time. She has been known to do this. Author's interviews just frustrate me, any author's interviews, at least most of time. Unless there is something vital to the story that needed said, I stay away from author interpretations. An example of a needed knowledge outside the text would be, to me anyway, the knowledge that __**The Benevolent Planters**__ by Thomas Bellamy was anti-abolition in the late 1700s. Had I not known that, I would have thought it was satire. This is mostly because if someone wrote something like that today, it could not be anything but a satire. I do prefer to analyze a text myself and look at what I think the author is trying to convey, not have it directly told to me. It spoils the fun. _

_I have no bitterness to James or Lily or Severus or most anyone else in the series. They are just characters, not real people. Not a fan of Sirius Black and certainly not of Peter Pettigrew or other characters with an evil sense of humour. I do think James loved Lily. I have never stated otherwise. I think Lily loved James. I never stated otherwise. I have no reason to believe that Lily "dropped" Severus because he was unpopular and unattractive. I do think she did think of him as her friend. The "My friends" comment could be interpreted many ways. I don't think it was that she never considered Severus her friend. She had other friends. Maybe she had mentally checked him out of the list of friends for the insult at that moment. The "I can't pretend anymore" never once struck as me as her pretending to be his friend or pretending she did not like James. I saw it as her saying she could not pretend this friendship was going to work. I think she wanted it work, but it seemed the "mudblood" comment and his refusal to deny he wanted to join the DEs along with him not seeing a problem with Mulciber's very cruel sense of humour told her it was over. No, we don't know what he did, but since he is said to specialize in the Imperius, it is highly probably he tried it on Mary. In which case, it is understandable that Lily is concerned about Snape being friends with them and perfectly reasonable for her to try and get him to realize that they are very disturbed individuals. Lily was said to "see the good in others when they cannot see it themselves." I think she saw Snape's ability to be a good person. She would prove to be right about his choice. It's a choice he deeply regretted later. That choice helped get her killed in canon. _

_Sorry about the long author's note. Just wanted to say a few things after some reviews I received. No one has to agree with my opinions or interpretations of a scene, line, conversation or person. _

_Also, my review number appears to be stuck on the site. I have 687 reviews, but it's stuck at 674. The reviews are still there in the list though. It's just the number that is stuck for some reason, lol. ;) -Never mind-works now. Go figure. _

**Chapter 41: Night of Reckoning**

"_Remorse sleeps during prosperity but awakes bitter consciousness during adversity." ~Jean Jacques Rousseau_

"What?" She asked, confused.

"I saw a vision of what my life might have been like if you had died."

She looked into his eyes and swallowed hard. That was not a pleasant thing to think about. She was glad to be alive. Right now she felt very alive and was grateful to be so.

"What was it like?"

"Terrible."

"Obviously. What was your life like? Did it not turn out happy?"

Severus looked over at her, raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "No."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't get an attitude. I meant, you had no happy ending? You didn't find someone to be with?"

"No." Severus put his hands over his face, taking a deep breath, still feeling shaken. "Harry survived."

"How?" She asked. "If James died and I died, how would he live?"

"He wanted Harry, not you, but if you got in his way, like before, he'd kill you-"

"Harry survived because of me, didn't he?" Lily interrupted.

Severus turned to look into her eyes. "What?"

"Me. Like how you did for me and I did for Harry, except lacking the luck of a dark mark to block the curse. I died. Harry lived."

"That makes sense." He pondered this. Considering how close he came to death at his own attempt at sacrifice, he figured that must have been the case. He knew how he had survived, but the luck of having it hit the mark and surviving something people normally don't survive was what baffled him. He was not a lucky man normally. The fates had somehow decided to give him some good luck. Right now life was going amazingly well for him.

She paused and looked down at her sheets. "I guess he was raised by Sirius."

"No. I don't know where he was. Harry went somewhere else."

"With who?"

"I don't know."

"There's no one else who could have taken him in. Another wizard family?"

"No. He was famous like he is now. Maybe a relative of yours?"

"Blood wards? A relative would be needed." Lily pondered this a moment. "The only person I can think of is my sister, but there is no way she would have taken him in."

Severus shrugged. "I don't know. He was in your house, the den of Lions."

"He was?"

"It appeared so. Makes sense since both of his parents were Gryffindors."

Lily nodded. "He'll probably go there."

"The Dark Lord came back while he was at school."

Lily looked up at that. "Did he kill Harry?"

"No, but I still had the mark."

"So you had to work as a spy again?" She swallowed hard. "Did he find out? That you were a-"

"Traitor." Severus interrupted. "No."

"So you made it out okay then?"

"No."

Lily felt her throat grip at that admission. "He killed you?" She asked, barely able to say the words.

"In the dream, yes. He thought I was in his way of power or something."

"How so?"

"I don't know. I just know that he used the torture curse before killing me."

_So that was why he seemed to be pain in his dream._ She thought. She cringed at the very thought of him being tortured and killed. The notion of him dying was a horrible thought to her. She did not want him to die. "He will come back at some point. When he does, he'll come after us again. You aren't safe. He'll kill you. He'll know very soon what you did and we are all in trouble."

"We defeated him once before through attempted sacrifice. If he can forget such old magic, I'm certain he can be defeated again."

"If we can figure out why he did not completely die in the first place, that is."

Severus gave a slight shrug. "No idea why he managed to not fully die." He was quiet a moment. "I hate that he will probably try to come after you and Harry again." Severus looked at her. Sudden remorse overtook his emotions. "Lily, I'm sorry. It's my fault. I, I know why he asked to step aside that afternoon."

"Bellatrix asked you to step aside too, he didn't want me. He wan't Harry. I don't see how that's your fault."

"Besides the fact that I gave him the information to go after Harry?"

"You still did not make the decision nor did you betray us. You didn't know."

"Lily, please. I asked him to."

"Asked him to what? Spare me? Us?" She asked with confusion on her lips.

"Yes. I asked him to spare you. I told him you would be vital to him. Yes, I lied to him. I couldn't see you dead. I asked Dumbledore to spare you all, after he chastisted me. I did not ask the Dark Lord to spare your son. I couldn't have convinced him too anyway, but I should have, should have tried too. Same with James. You loved him, but I was indifferent. I didn't care about him, only you. I'm sorry. I mean it. I'm sorry."

Lily looked at Severus, unable to comprehend. She had no idea what to say. "Did you just- Did you-Did you just tell me you are sorry you didn't care about saving James? And Harry-not that you could have, but, you are apologizing for not caring enough?"

"I should have cared. I just felt indifferent to it, but you were once my best friend. I couldn't bear the thought that he went after you because of me. I truly am sorry."

Lily was not sure what to think. She should have been angry, but yet, she wasn't. She could see the remorse in his eyes. It was just so unlike him to apologize for something like that, of helping cause her late husband's death even when she knew how much James and Severus hated each other. This was not the Severus she had seen before. Where was the vengeful spite and cold-hearted attitude to his enemies? Where was the disdain for the bully James, the only James Severus remembered? She was not sure what to say.

Severus was not sure where this was coming from. The nightmare of what could have been had caused something to snap. He still felt regret, but did not feel the same bitterness he felt before. "I'd give anything to take back what I said about the prophecy."

Lily put her elbow on the bed and propped her head up with her fist. She was silent for a moment, trying to take in his words and sudden, strange remorse. "I don't regret you saying anything."

He looked at her confused. "Of course you don't. You weren't the one who said anything."

She rolled her eyes and huffed. "Don't get irritable with me. Just listen. I don't regret what you said. In some ways I am glad. It's confusing."

"Why would you be glad I nearly got you killed twice? I would have to make up for that somehow if you had died. I never would have been able to though. Nothing I do will be able to make up for my mistake. I could never atone for causing your death if you been killed that night."

"I know, but what if nothing had happened? It's a mixed bag because if you had never said anything, James would not have died. I wish he wasn't dead. I don't want him to be dead, but if he had not passed, I never would have met you that night. We would not be together if he was alive."

_She was right. If I had never revealed that prophecy, Voldemort would have never gone after Harry. James would still be alive and Lily would likely still be married to him. I would not be with her right now. I would not be in bed with her. I never would have made love with her. I would be alone. I would either be back at my parent's home on Spinner's End alone or alone in my quarters at the school for my night off if nothing had ever been said, just like how I was in my nightmare when she died._ Severus felt a slight pang of anguish at the thought of that now. He understood the confusion in her to a small extent. She did not want James to be dead, but knew she would not be with him in this position if Potter had survived.

"No, we wouldn't."

"I wouldn't have come to Cokeworth and I never would have run into you." She paused and looked at him curiously. "I never asked you what you were doing out that night."

He looked at her. "I was in town, looking for something to eat. I was on my way back when you bumped into me. I was quite surprised to see you."

"It's where I grew up. I thought it would be safe. He didn't know where I used to live. I did not think he would look for me there."

"He didn't for awhile."

Lily moved closer, curling up beside him. Severus put arm around her and rubbed her side. She put her hand on his chest.

"I'm glad you didn't tell anyone else where you lived. It kept us safe for a few months."

Severus sighed. "I never expected to stay in that house long. My parents' home, I mean."

"Did you plan on getting your own place one day?"

"I did, but I think part of me assumed my father would show up again alive and I would leave."

Lily let out a breath. "No one knows what happened to him, do they?"

"No. I'm not sure either. They found his bloody clothes with his wallet. The guy probably got killed in a bar fight and tossed somewhere."

Lily cringed. It was not a pleasant thought even if the man was a jerk. "Do you think he killed your mum?" She paused. "Maybe I shouldn't ask that? Sorry."

Severus shrugged. "I don't know. She might have just fallen."

Lily did not ask why his mother would not have used her magical abilities to have stopped a fall. She knew his mum did not defend herself using magic. Severus had told her that much. She could tell Severus did believe his father had caused his mother's death, even if indirectly or accidently.

"Maybe."

"Your dad died in a car crash I heard."

"He did. Two weeks into summer. He had paid my tuition for Hogwarts the day before he passed. He took me Diagon Alley to get my money exchanged and sent off. I got my books then too. I needed them for the summer to prepare for NEWTs. I am glad though, glad that I got to spend the day with him." Lily felt a lump in her throat remembering that day.

Severus saw her eyes get glossy. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No. It's fine. It's just hard to not have my parents around sometimes. I expected them to be around longer. It was just so sudden with my dad."

"What happened immediately after graduation? Where did you go?"

"I stayed with Mary, at her parents' house until I married James on the twelfth. I told everyone I was pregnant three weeks later. Well, his parents. Sirius and Remus already knew. James told them first thing. I was actually about eight weeks at that point." Lily sighed. She did not like to think about that time too often. She turned to him. "Anyway, what about you? What happened to you immediately after graduation? I know you left soon after, but how soon?"

"I packed my things and left two days later. We hardly spoke. My parents and I, I mean. The next September I found out my mum had died. She had fallen down the stairs and died, supposedly. A week later my dad went missing. He did not show up at work and was last seen at the local pub. Two weeks after he disappeared, everything was handed to me. I moved into the house soon after, expecting to move back out when dad decided to show his face again. I never did and he never came back. I believe he is dead, yes."

Lily ran her finger over his shoulder. "He probably is."

"Yes." He looked up at the dark ceiling and rubbed her back.

"At least things are okay now. I'm glad I'm alive and I'm glad I'm here with you."

He turned to her. "I am too. I love you, Lily."

"I love you too." She gripped his shoulder. "Everything is fine. I'm glad things worked the way they did. Sometimes life just works how it's supposed to. You can't control it. You can't fix it. You can't change it. You just have to gather the strength and courage to change what you can. Circumstances brought us together, made us friends from the start. We had our rough patch, but we are back together. It was meant to be this way."

"I don't know if I believe in fate."

"I don't know if I do either, but for whatever reason, I feel this is the place we are meant to be at right now."

"I would still change it if I could, but I agree. We are together now. You have no idea how devastating it is to think about how close I came to causing your death."

"I'm alive. Very much alive and that is thanks to you. Without you I would have been so different. You've helped me so much and been so wonderful. I fell in love with you, the boy I used to know from childhood, except he was different. He was the same old Severus, but grown and I don't mean changed physically. I mean all over, you changed and it shocked me, in a good way though. You are brave and loyal to those you care about and so much more. I fell for you, head over heels for you, the man in front of me right now. You've changed me so much over the past year and a half and especially this past year. I have too. I know I have."

"Even if I am okay with how things turned out in some ways-" She paused and realized she was in tears. She swallowed hard. "I still wish you would have listened to me and realized, much earlier that those friends of yours were doing evil dark magic, cruel things."

"I know. I should have. I wish I would have."

"We both messed up our friendship. It doesn't matter anyway. As I said, there's nothing we can do about it. We have a friendship now. That's what matters."

Severus ran his fingers around her back, trying to relax her. "Just a friendship? You don't do what did with just friends most of the time."

She laughed, wiping her eyes. She sniffed. "I guess not. Fine, we became friends. Now we are lovers." She let out a heavy sigh.

"You are and always will be my best friend. No one knows me as well as you do."

Lily smirked and laughed. "Well, I should hope not."

Okay, she had a point there. "True." He smirked. They got quiet.

"I'm tired. It's almost two. We should get some rest."

"Yes. Need your beauty sleep."

"Funny." She shut her eyes. "Night, Sev."

Severus stopped rubbing her back. "Night, Lily."

Severus opened his eyes to light trying to peer out from the small opening of the curtain. He rubbed his hands down his face, trying to wake himself up. He looked over at Lily. She was sound asleep, curled up against him. He smiled to himself and sighed contently. As he lied there, thinking about the night before, Lily stirred beside him.

Lily opened her eyes and realized she was lying against him still. She moaned slightly and looked up Severus. He was awake.

"Morning, Tiger."

She smiled. "Morning, Sev." She turned on her back. "I'm getting hungry. What would you like for breakfast?"

"I don't know. What sounds good to you?"

"I'm not sure." She sighed. "I had a nice dream about you last night."

Severus grinned and turned to her. "Oh. Did we do anything interesting?"

Lily sat up. "I thought it was interesting. I can't seem to get away from you. You've invaded my dreams."

"Guess you are stuck with me."

She slid to the edge of the bed. "I guess so. It may drive me crazy." She got off the bed and headed to her closet.

Severus sat up. "Yes, how aggravating."

"Very aggravating." She smirked as she removed her gown.

Severus got up from her bed. "Drives you insane?"

Lily put on her pants. "Drives me wild. The dream was in the jungle after all."

"What were you doing in the jungle?"

"I was hunting for a snake."

Severus gave a sly grin. "Were you now?"

Lily snapped on her bra. "A certain one unlike any other."

Severus put his hand on her back. "Did you manage to find it?"

Lily put on a shirt and slid her hands around this waist to his back. "Yes, I did. I could spot him from a mile away. He-"

The door opened and Harry came in. He looked confused at Severus's presence since he did not stay the night normally. Lily let go of Severus.

"I have to go potty." Harry said.

Severus looked at Lily. "I'll take him and get him dressed."

"Okay. I'll go see what we have to eat and start breakfast."

Severus got up and took Harry to the bathroom. Lily went downstairs and started breakfast.

"I'm hungry." Harry said as he got down from the stool at the sink.

"Let's get you dressed and see if your mum wants help with breakfast then."

He took Harry to his bedroom and got out a shirt.

"I can do it by myself." Harry said.

"Of course you can."

Severus waited for Harry to dress himself. He struggled with his pants, but finally got them on.

"Okay. Go on down to your mum."

"Down to the, the, kitshen. You are not coming down to the kitshen?"

"In a minute."

Harry headed down the steps and Severus went into his room and got dressed. He went downstairs to the kitchen and they sat down for breakfast.

After breakfast, Severus cleaned up before heading back to Hogwarts.

Lily watched Severus put on his cloak. "I wish you could stay."

Severus turned to her. "And what would I do here with you? You have some plans?"

"I could come up with some." She smirked and looked into his gaze before letting out a heavy sigh. "I'll see you in a few weeks then?"

"Yes, when I get an evening or night off. Probably in a month." He met her eyes and smiled.

She sighed and gave him a final kiss good-bye. "Have fun."

"Take care of yourself."

"I will. You take care too."

Severus started to open the door to leave and felt something grab his legs, startling him.

"Stay here!" Harry said.

Lily knelt down to her son. "He has to go to work."

"No. Stay here!" He wailed.

Lily looked up at Severus, who looked baffled. "He can't stay. He'll be back soon. Come on, let's go play with your train." She summoned the toy train over to them. "Say goodbye and let's go play."

"No! Daddy stay home!" He sobbed.

Severus looked over at Lily. This was not good. Harry made a fuss when Lily left him at times, but to make a fuss when he left was a first.

Lily tried to pry Harry's fingers off of Severus, but Harry was not letting go. Severus was surprised at the toddler's strength. The toy train's plastic engine suddenly roared and steam poured out of the top. Lily looked up at Severus again. She didn't have to say a word. He knew what she wanted him to do. He huffed half-heartedly to himself.

"Harry, let go. I'll be back soon."

"No."

Severus tried to think of something quick to calm the child down. He was going to be late if he didn't. He reached down and tried to remove Harry's grip from his leg. Harry let go and put his arms around Severus's neck.

"Harry, you have to let go. Your mum wants to play. Go play with your mum. I have to work."

Lily grabbed Harry around the waist. Severus pried Harry's fingers apart and Lily pulled him away from Severus.

"Let's go play with some of your toys, okay?" She turned her head back to Severus. Severus stood up, still in shock at the boy's behaviour toward him.

Lily mouthed the word go. Severus opened up the door enough to get out and took one last look inside as Lily set a sobbing Harry down and moved the toy train across the floor with her hand. He shut the door behind him and walked up the road. Lily's son had clearly grown quite attached to him despite the fact that he only showed up once every couple of weeks for a couple hours. Severus tried to put any thought of that out of his mind. He was sorry he had not cared about getting Potter killed. Having a Potter be attached to him, though, was not something he expected. It made his head spin. He wanted to get back to his office and brew up some potions for tomorrow and focus on his lessons. He needed to think alone.

_**A/N:** I have had a very busy (and long) two weeks. I was not well part of last week and all I could do was take extra strength Tylenol and sleep for a couple days. The stress of research papers is getting to me too. I also never want to work at opening on Black Friday again, ever. People are crazy. Someone I know got themselves into a situation that I fear may end very badly. I cannot comprehend why she would have done something like that, but trying to explain why people do the things they do just creates a headache. It's been Murphy's Law the past two weeks to put it simply; so, it has taken me awhile to get this chapter completed. It took some of the stress away actually. I needed the break. On the bright side, my friend's twins are both home now and doing great. :D _

_So, to my fellow American readers, I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving! To my readers in other countries, I hope you had a great day today! :D _

_I discovered my computer has an English UK version for spellcheck/autocorrect. Now I can spell my words similar to the UK spellings instead of being autocorrected to the US version. Awesome! _


	42. Chapter 42: A Quiet Afternoon

_Thanks to __**MarissaRossee, PhilopsherStone909, Cara-tanaka, TOWTLS, Incureable Romantic, Gyoro and Ururun, Ujemaima, Waterwarrior305, PurplewolfDOTcom, KraziiePyrozHaveMoreFun, Harrylee94, Tinithor, Luvsurstory, Jordina, Musicalfan2012, Lilyflower50, Tacker23, Martionmanswife,**__ and __**xSilentSakurax**__ for the reviews. _

_A/N: Waterwarrior-cant pm to answer: No, Voldy's soul did not go into Severus or Lily. Severus was almost killed by Bellatrix here, not Voldy. Voldemort did not die when he struck Lily, he was greatly weakened, which caused his brief death when he struck Harry, but failed from the sacrifices. Yes, the horcruxes are still there, minus the locket and Nagini (which I think came from his return). Snape only saw his perspective, not Harry's. He just saw a Harry in his dream, a more canon Harry. _

_I have seen some serious confusion regarding the years of my letters. And thanks to Grana for pointing out that my dates were not fixed-still. I think they are now. September 23 was not meant for those letters. No, Lily would not have been pregnant with Harry at that date. Though the years can be confused, I know. I cannot find a concrete answer to this. I thought it was 1980, after Harry's birth originally, but many other sources (outside of wiki and fandom) keep saying that Lily went into hiding while pregnant, meaning they had to have known in 1979 because it was definitely autumn in the scene. Though, it seems odd unless witches learn soon after they discover they are expecting the sex of the foetus. I stuck with 1979, but I am still sceptical about that to be honest. _

_Also, grana-can't pm you: some things you wrote I have already answered. A few others I don't are up to the reader to conclude and the rest and the majority are based on personal interpretations of scenes and lines and people in the series, most of which I do not see or agree with. I have a very different interpretation of JKR's statement, the mudblood scene and Lily's break of the friendship-vastly different. I was discussing this with another reader actually, about an incident very similar I had. Therefore, we will agree to disagree and leave it at that. Thank you for taking the time to give your thoughts though. Sometimes debates are fun, but I do not wish to argue over perspectives. _

_*I learned something new-In UK spelling, it's sceptical instead of skeptical. Just so any of my American readers don't assume I misspelled that word. _

**Chapter 42: The Quiet Afternoon**

_Early June 1983_

"You know." Lily swallowed her bite of ice cream, looking at the bare fireplace. "When Harry gets older, I think I'd like to get a pet."

Severus looked down at Lily. "A pet?"

Lily tilted her head up to him. "When Harry is older. I miss my cat."

"Peaches." He said, running his hand along her jeans.

"Yes. You remembered him?" She was a bit surprised about that, certain he had forgotten about the animal.

"You loved that cat."

Lily laid back against his chest and sighed contently. She grabbed the spoon from the ice cream carton and pulled up another spoonful. "You want some more?"

"Certainly," He paused "but we'll spoil our appetite."

"We can't have ice cream and flavoured beans for dinner?"

He took a bite of the ice cream she gave him and scooped out another spoonful. She took the bite he gave her.

"It's not even three. Maybe some crisps for supper and then an apple later to make up for the junk?"

"Yes, before we have a run around the neighbourhood to burn off all the fat we just consumed."

Severus lifted her camisole and touched her bare stomach. She cringed, trying not to laugh as he moved his fingers across her stomach.

"I think your stomach is fine."

Lily sighed to herself. "Well, I lost most of the weight I gained with Harry. If I have a baby again, I will get fat."

"I bet you would still be beautiful." He paused. "You aren't trying to hint at something, are you?"

Lily laughed. "No. No, no, not at all. Not pregnant."

"You're sure?"

"I am certain. I'm not hinting. I'm not expecting. Trust me."

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."

"Why? Would it be a problem if I was?"

Severus shrugged. "I don't know."

"Are you saying you would leave?" She asked.

"No, of course not. It'd be just as much my fault as yours if you wound up pregnant."

"Yes, yes it would. I can't get myself pregnant, can I?"

"No."

She dug the spoon into the ice cream and twisted it uneasily. "Do you want to have a child? I mean, us, having a child? Not right now, not even a few months from now or even a year, but eventually? Ever?"

Severus let out a breath. "If you want one."

"But do you want one?"

"I don't know, Lily. I don't know if I would be a good father."

"You do fine with Harry. I'm sure you would be fine with one of your own."

"I don't know. I don't know much about children. Never really around them until yours and Harry is the only one even now. I'm not a kid person. Look at my family. My own father. Not exactly fatherhood role models."

"You aren't your father. I think you'd be fine."

Severus sighed. "I would have one with you if you wanted to have a child. I know you want a child again. I accepted that as part of the deal if we ever did get married."

Lily took Severus's hand in hers. "So you want to get married at some point?"

"Possibly." He looked down at her. "Why?"

"Just wondered. I mean, our relationship has gone quite far."

"Maybe eventually."

Lily sighed. "I'd like to get married. Eventually. Not any time soon. Months from now, but I actually think I would be willing to get married again. With you anyway. To you."

"I would not mind the idea of being married. If it was to you." Severus wrapped his arms around hers. "You are the only person I could see being married to."

Lily sighed contently. "So, you plan on escorting me to the party on the fourth."

"What's on the fourth?"

"July. The day You-Know-Who was defeated."

"Temporarily."

"Don't remind me that he may come back. I like the peace."

"So do I."

"So are you going to be my date?"

Severus frowned. "You still believe I am going?"

"Yep." She said without any hesitation. "You are not leaving me alone with all of those boys, now are you?" She smirked. "Besides, we are the guests of honour, after all."

"You can take care of yourself."

"I can, but if you show up with me, I won't get any undue attention."

"They might. Do they know about us?"

"Nope. Guess I'll just have to make it obvious if they try."

Severus sucked in air a little to ease his rattled nerves. "Is that a good idea?"

"What? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"Not at all." He smirked. "You, on the other hand, are a different story."

"How so?"

Severus did not understand how she did not understand. "I'm not exactly the most attractive one there, to put it mildly. Not to mention my background, my former house status and my wealth is not substantial in any form of the word."

"And? Your point is" She asked. "You think I'm embarrassed by you?"

Severus said nothing.

"You do. What is wrong with you?" She moved off of him. "Obviously I have found qualities about you that l like."

"Our shared stubbornness?"

"That and other things, like your bravery, your loyalty, your change, major change, your redemption and understanding of what was wrong with the Death Eaters. Other things I cannot say because I don't know, I can't understand it, and I just fell in love."

"I'm not attractive."

"I disagree." She huffed. "Why would I have slept with a man who I found unattractive or that I was not madly in love with. Honestly, Sev."

"I don't want people to say things about you, mock you for being with me when you could have had anyone."

"When have I ever cared about what others thought of me? My roommates never understood how I could befriend a Slytherin. I refused to listen because I didn't give a damn what they thought. I still don't give two slips about what anyone thinks of me."

"You gave a damn when I called you that word."

"You just want to keep rehashing that incident, don't you? I was mad that night. I really did not mean that because honestly, before that incident, I did defend you and did not want to listen to their warnings until then and at that moment, yes, I believed they were right, that you were going down a dangerous path."

"And I did. I proved them right."

"No. You proved everyone wrong. You made a mistake. You changed and that is what is called redemption."

Severus started to say something, but she cut across him. "You want to know how I truly feel about us?"

She turned to him and put her mouth over his, osculating with him. Severus felt himself start to smile under her lips.

Lily removed her lips for a moment. "I'm getting cold."

"We can heat things up."

She grinned. "If Harry wasn't asleep on the couch."

Severus wrapped his arms around hers. She pressed her upper body against his. Her knee bumped into his groin. He cringed.

"Sorry." She mumbled.

He let out a breath. "It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded.

"If you want, I can kiss and make it better."

Severus gave a small grin at that. "I would like that if we were alone."

"Let's play a game."

"I am up for plenty of games. We can go into the lab if you want to play them."

Lily let out a laugh and sighed. "I think we need to take it easy. Every time we see each other, we don't need to get dirty."

"Why not? You started the suggestion."

"Maybe another time. I want to ask you some questions."

"What sort of questions?"

"To learn more about each other."

"Sounds fun."

"It's not related to what you think it is."

Severus grinned slyly. "Whatever you want to do, Lily."

"So, would you rather celebrate your birthday or Christmas?" Lily asked.

"Can I pass on that one?" Severus asked.

"No."

"Can I choose none of the above?"

"You are not helping."

"Fine." He huffed and stroked her thigh. "I guess my Christmas. As long as we can stay away from certain people and parties, it's not so bad. What about you?"

"I think I prefer Christmas. It was always a nice, more traditional affair."

"Do you want me to ask you a question now?"

"It would be nice."

Severus sighed as he held her by the chest. "Would you rather" He paused to think. "Go to a zoo or an aquarium?"

"I loved the aquarium. It's peaceful."

"I like the aquarium. Went once with you once, remember?"

"Yes." She grinned. "Yes, I do indeed." She paused. "Would you rather eat a bowl of ice cream or a bowl of cherries?"

Severus put his hand on her knee and ran it down her leg to her thigh. "Ice cream."

"Me too."

She attempted to take a bite of the ice cream Severus gave her and dropped it onto her chest. She gasped as the cold liquid ran down her camisole.

Severus grinned and took his finger and put it down her camisole. She felt his fingers run between her breasts. He took the small blob of ice cream and put it in his mouth. "There. Better?"

She shook her head, but grinned. "You are naughty."

"No." He said and put his mouth to her chest. "This is." He licked the spot where the ice cream dropped.

She laughed. "Okay. Okay." She lifted his chin to her. She put her mouth over his.

He reached down and put his hand on her hip. Lily removed her lips from his, breathing hard.

"You want to go somewhere more private?" She asked him.

"I thought you didn't want to do anything." He said in surprise as she sucked his neck.

"I can't change my mind?" She reached down and started to undo her pants.

"I have one." Severus said.

"I know you do. A big one." Lily joked.

Severus smiled under her lips. "Would you rather us have a quick rendezvous in the lab or have at in my bedroom?"

She got to her feet and he followed suit. "Right now, the lab works for me. Just change the chair into a mattress."

"I will do that." He undid his own pants. Lily leaned into him, taking hold of his waist, gripping his pants at the edge. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I said I would fix the injury I caused earlier, didn't I? I think I will do that first."

They entered the lab. He shut the door as Lily started to pull down his pants. They heard a knock at the door. She groaned. He stopped kissing her neck and looked up. "Who could that be?"

Lily shrugged, just as surprised as he was at a visitor. "I'll go look. May be some peddler." She left the room and went to look out the front window and turned back to Severus, who was standing outside of the lab. "It's Sirius."

"Oh great. I thought he would be gone for good."

Lily fixed her pants and turned to Severus. "Fix yourself. Unless you want Sirius to see that side of you?"

Severus fixed his clothes and threw Lily her blouse. He slipped on his shirt. Lily put on the blouse and fixed the buttons over her breasts to cover what the camisole didn't and answered the door.

"Sirius." She stated nonchalantly.

"Lily." He said in the same tone. "May I come in?"

Lily sighed. "I guess, but if you try what you did last time-"

"I know, I know. Can we just talk?"

Lily turned to Severus, who looked unhappy at the idea of a talk. "Fine."

Sirius entered the house. "The weather is quite nasty today, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. It's been raining all day."

"Where's Harry?"

Lily looked over at Harry on the couch. "Out cold. He had a long morning and has been grumpy today, so please don't wake him."

"I won't."

There was silence. "You want to take a seat?" Lily pointed to the chairs.

Sirius sat down. Lily and Severus sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For?" Lily looked into Sirius's eyes.

"For saying those things about you. It was wrong and I am sorry."

"About me?"

"Yes."

"Aren't you forgetting an apology to someone else?"

Sirius shrugged. "No."

Lily glared at him.

"Why should I apologize to him? He tried to harm me."

"You've been no better. Why don't you just apologize to him?"

Lily watched him clutch the chair for a moment. She eyed Severus and saw him clutching his wand as if waiting for his opponent to make his move. This was what she wanted stopped.

"Severus." He said softly, clearly saying it with great effort. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"What was that?" Lily asked, barely able to hear him.

"I said" He spoke loudly. "Sorry." He said it louder than before, but still very softly.

"For what?" Lily snapped.

"I never should have questioned anything. As Remus keeps telling me, it's not really my business what you two do together." Sirius's emphasis on the word do showed what Sirius was thinking about.

"No, it isn't." Severus snapped.

"I just wanted to say I am sorry." Sirius said, looking directly at Lily and ignoring Severus.

Lily put her hand on Severus's leg, near his thigh. She could see Sirius cringe. "So, how are things with you?"

Sirius shrugged lightly. "Fine."

"What about you and um,"

"Chara."

"Yes, her."

"We've talked."

"Oh. And?"

"Not much going on. She's fine."

"So you have decided to stay involved?"

Sirius gave a little shrug again, but gave a grin. "We are not getting married. She says it is my child-that it would have to be my child because she knows the date of conception via a potion."

Severus, who hadn't been paying attention to Sirius until now, turned to him.

"New Year's Eve?"

"She wants me there for the birth. She's due September 23."

"Do you know what it is?"

"She says it's a girl."

"That's wonderful. I always thought I'd like to have a daughter one day."

Severus did not say a word. Sirius looked at him with an accusing glare. Severus knew what he was thinking and matched the glare. Lily looked uneasily between the two of them.

"If Severus dares think-"

"Think what?" Lily said. The words were bitter on her tongue. "You ought to listen to Remus. What we do or not is not your concern. If I end up pregnant, that's between us and concerns us and us alone."

"Unless he's not the father."

Severus saw Lily glare at Sirius with such intensity he thought she might whip out her wand and hex him with something harsh. He felt Lily's hand move onto his thigh and he felt her grip his pants tightly in her aggravation. Severus wanted her to grope him just to see how Sirius would react. He was certainly tempted to grope her bosom and osculate with her just to see if Sirius would freak out. He wouldn't do it though because he did not want to make Lily seem like a prize. He had her as his girlfriend and she loved him. He did not need to prove anything to Sirius, even if he secretly wanted to show him up.

"Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You aren't like that. I know. Sorry." He said to both Severus and Lily's surprise. "Look, I just want to make up. Before James-passed" the word passed was spoken uneasily on Sirius's tongue. "Our relationship, as friends, was not that bad."

"We weren't really friends. We were acquaintances. You were James's friend." Lily huffed slightly. "But, yes, we got along okay then." Lily huffed again, more heavily this time. "Until Severus offered his home to Harry and I." She paused. "Look, I know the two of you don't get along. You never have and probably never will, but can you two at least try and be civil. You are Harry's godfather still. I did not change that" She looked into Sirius's eyes. "Yet. Severus and I are dating. We have been for a several months and I don't see us separating because we get along very well for the most part and we love each other very much. We've been through a lot together already and as a result, you two will be stuck dealing with each other, like it or not." Lily's face grew softer. "I don't want you to disappear from Harry's life because you can be fun and he does like you." She narrowed her eyes. "But if you try and turn him against us because of your mutual dislike of each other, don't think I won't hesitate-"

"I know. I won't. I understand." Sirius sighed. "I want to stay in Harry's life." He got up from the chair. "I hope you will let me do so."

Lily took a moment and finally nodded. Sirius went over to Harry, who had just woken up from his nap. He rubbed Harry's matted hair. "See you kiddo." He turned to Lily. "I need to be going. I am meeting Chara later. Have a nice evening, Lily. You too, Harry." Sirius left the room.

Harry slid off the couch and went to the window. He turned back to Lily and Severus. "It's raining out."

"Yes."

Harry sighed. "I wanted to go out."

"Not today." Lily said. "Let's go do a puzzle instead."

Harry looked disappointed. "But I want to go out."

"I'm sorry, honey. It's too nasty out. It's supposed to be nice tomorrow. We'll go outside and play then."

"Okay." He sat down on the floor. Lily put a puzzle down for Harry and got a puzzle of her own to do.

"Come on, Sev. Let's do a puzzle."

"Yeah, come on. Play with pisels."

Severus sighed and got up from the couch. He took a seat beside Lily on the floor. "How many pieces?"

"250."

Severus started to gather some pieces to sort. Harry held a piece up to Severus. "It won't go."

"Turn it and try again." Severus turned the piece to the other side. "Now put it down."

Harry did. "It fits."

Severus caught a smile at the corner of Lily's lips. "What?" He asked.

"Nothing." She went to sorting her puzzle pieces.

He was not sure what she was smiling about and he was not sure if he should be worried or not.

_A/N: I got a review about this so I thought I would ask: Is it preferred to say arsehole over asshole? It is here too. Arse is supposed to be a "softer" word than ass. My HP movie used the term ass. I find it hard to believe they changed that for Americans since nothing else and no other words were changed (besides the Sorcerer/Philosopher word based on the title-they did change that one word in the first movie). People here say both ass and arse. It's not one or the other. I'm not sure if it is different in the UK. You can inform me and I am glad you do if I use language not used there or something. I may get caught up and say a phrase that it is local to the area I grew up or currently live in on accident. I've started to do it a couple times and caught myself before posting. Thanks for reading! My finals are over so until mid-January I am break-except with work where my hours have increased because of the holidays. I need the money though so I won't complain. More hours-more money. _


	43. Chapter 43: Fireworks

_Thanks to __**Cara-tanaka, Mrssresnape, Phoenix1592, TheAngelofIego, Moonsyrus, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFUn, Narutonarutolove, MarissaRosee, Ujemaima, Timi55, Heytheremister, Jordina, HarryPotterIsSiriuslyAwesome, JupiterJack567, Colourcolour, Nessiepie, Gyoro and Ururun**__ and __**PurplewolfDOTcom**__ for the reviews. (and purplewolf-I use the DOT because an actual period tends to delete usernames-and this goes for anyone with periods in their usernames-I will either put it all together or put a DOT in the place instead). _

_A/N: Nessie-saying "I like your kid, even if he is Potter spawn" is not "the height of insensitivity" by any means. Lily is not stupid, she knows the history between Sirius/James and Severus perfectly well. Also spawn definition: Offspring-progeny or offspring, especially if numerous. So, he was saying even if he is Potter's offspring essentially. Not insulting. Harry is Potter's offspring. He did not say it mean or with venom or anything, just neutral as in "I like your kid, even if he is the offspring of my schoolyard bully." Even if Lily didn't care for the comment, she would probably let it go, knowing their history, not to mention that Severus is keeping her and the "Potter spawn" safe and risking his life to do so and she knows it. If that's the height of insensitivity to you, you really haven't heard many people, have you? I am saying that to be mean, but I have heard some truly insensitive statements and I don't count that as one. _

_As for distraught-people grieve differently. Not to mention that it's not even been 24 hours and while she is aware that James is dead, it probably has not entirely hit her yet. You can know someone is deceased and acknowledge it, but it does not often hit you that the person is really gone, that he/she really isn't coming back and you won't see them again or talk to them or hug them or anything, etc. Until later. That aspect takes time. For information on grief, I recommend looking at Worden's grieving tasks. So she isn't distraught all the time-means nothing. It certainly does not mean she wasn't in mourning or grief. She's functioning, she has to, she has a 15 month old she not only has to care for, but has to protect. And Lily did not see her husband get murdered-she heard the curse, but did not see him dead. Knowing someone was murdered is one thing. Seeing it happen before your eyes-whole other ball game. _

**Chapter 43: Fireworks **

_4 July 1983_

"It won't be that long." Lily said to Severus. "Brief acknowledgement and then we can get the hell out if you want to leave." She sighed a little. "But it's just a gathering. It's not that bad. You act like we've been asked to scrub a building full of manure with toothbrushes."

He grinned coyly. "Well, it's a close second to that." Severus fixed his collar. "I can't believe they actually expect us to do this. We don't want the attention."

"I didn't want to turn them down."

"Well, Professor Slughorn always cherished you. He loves attaching himself to fame. I think he always had a small thing for you."

Lily stopped brushing her hair and turned to him sharply. "He does not."

Severus bit back a small smirk. "Think he still has your fish?"

"It was a gift. I'm sure he kept it."

"I still say he had a thing for you-his pet."

"I was not his pet."

"You were. His favourite."

Lily huffed. "He liked you too. You were brilliant at potions. You still are brilliant at them." She turned back to the bathroom mirror. "You know, I think you would have made a good Ravenclaw."

"I think Slytherin fit better."

"Well, you can certainly be ambitious and cunning when you need to be, but you are very intelligent and Ravenclaw would be good fit. You are very brave as well, doing all you've done, spying on You-Know-Who for what, two years? And pulling it off. Quite brave. In that sense, Gryffindor would have worked as well. Not to mention your loyalty to whatever you choose-Hufflepuff."

Severus stared at her a moment and then scoffed. "Well, we all might embody a bit of all the houses, but I think Slytherin was my fit. You though, wouldn't have fit there. Any of the other houses would have worked." He paused. "But the head of Slytherin wouldn't have minded you in our house. And neither would I."

Lily snapped a clip in her hair to finish. "I'm sure you would have." She sighed. "Are you ready?"

"You mean, you are finally done fixing your looks."

"I want to look nice."

"You would anyway."

"To you, not to others. I want to look presentable just as much as you do."

"You don't have to do as much to get that."

"I think you look just fine." Lily left the bathroom. "Harry, come on, let's go."

Harry came running out of his bedroom. "To Charlie and Gerdie's?"

"Yep, next door."

"Yeah. I can, I can, play with the snakes."

Lily nodded uneasily. "Yes, yes, you can-play with the" She cringed slightly. "snakes."

"He'll be fine, Lily. They only let him play with the safe ones. He likes the animals."

Lily sighed as they headed down the stairs.

"I like Sally. She is orange and red and white. She tells me stuff."

"She tells you things?" Severus asked.

"Yes. She likes the sun. She takes baths in the sun. How do you, how do you take a bath in the sun?"

"Well, she is a reptile and the need light and warm temperatures to stay healthy." Lily said.

"She gets sleepy if there was cold. She does not like cold."

Severus looked at Lily, who shook her head. She was smiling though.

"She likes to eat, to eat, food."

"Don't we all?" Severus said with a grin.

"What does she eat?" Lily asked.

"Rats and mouses. They feed her rats and mouses."

"That's what we should have done with Pettigrew," Severus gave a sly grin. "Fed him to the cobra next door."

"I thought they had a python?"

"Whatever. A very big snake. Pettigrew would have been gone in a gulp. Snake food."

"What's a pet-grew?" Harry asked as Severus locked the front door.

"A bad man." Lily answered.

Harry seemed to accept this explanation.

They went next door and Lily knocked on the door. Gertrude answered.

"Hello, Mr. Snape and Mrs. Snape."

Lily did not correct her on their marriage status. She never had corrected anyone. She and Severus had decided when they moved in that it was the best explanation for the muggles in the neighbourhood. The whole wizards and blood and war and Voldemort and prophecy marking her son for death was not something either wanted to handle. They had wanted to blend in and look "normal" to help prevent being found while in hiding. Now that she was with Severus, it did not matter anyway.

"How are you and Charles doing this evening?" Lily asked.

"Wonderful, dear. You two doing okay?"

"For the most part-good. We aren't happy about this dinner, but as the guests of honour for his Chemistry award, we have to go."

"You teach, don't you?" Gertrude asked, looking at Severus.

"Yes. At a boarding school."

"How nice. Chemistry professor?"

"Yes."

"Lily tells me you are brilliant at what you do, coming up with all sorts of experiments of your own."

"Does she now?"

"She likes to brag on her husband. I do it too. And my children."

Lily smiled. "Well, thanks for agreeing to watch him tonight." She turned to Harry. "Bye, Harry. Love you." Lily said.

"Bye." Harry said, who was now petting a white rabbit with a gray patch around his eyes. "Pirate likes me."

"I'm sure he loves you." Lily said.

"He'll be fine. He likes to play with our milk and corn snakes. He's so cute with them." Gertrude told them. "No worries, non venomous, can't bite-no fangs. Pet snakes only. We do have a python, but we don't let Harry near her. She's a ball python so she's a good snake, but she's still a constricting snake and of course, your son is just a tot. We keep her away from him. He loves to talk to them though. It's like they have their own language."

Lily grinned slightly. "He loves his visits here. I appreciate you watching him. It's been a big help when a friend of ours can't. Conferences he has to go to for his job every month."

"No trouble at all. Go have your fun. Every couple needs a night out."

Lily smiled. "Okay. We will be back around ten."

Severus and Lily left the house and headed up the road before apparating to the building of the party. They entered the large, crowded room.

"We'll let them do the brief introduction and then we will get the hell out." Severus said.

It took less than a minute for them to be approached. Lily uneasily greeted people. The women ignored Severus.

Lily was pulled away from him by the group of women and Severus looked around at the large crowd of people. Severus saw a few people whispering and looking at him. He looked away and noticed more and more people watching him. Severus ignored them uneasily and looked over at Lily. She looked at him and gave a smile. He gave her a little smile back.

Severus felt out of place. He rubbed his hands against his robes. Lily was chatting with the women and seemed fine. He hated social events like these. A young, pudgy man approached Severus. He recognized him as Abney from their year. Severus groaned internally. This was not his evening.

"So, you and Severus Snape, the Slytherin, an item?" A young woman a year above Lily in school asked.

"Well-"

"You and Snape still living together?"

"Yes, but he's away most of the time. He stays at Hogwarts and visits when he can."

"Oh, that's right. I heard about that. He took Professor Slughorn's job."

"Yes, he teaches potions now. He's brilliant at them anyway. He always was." She smiled.

"You and Severus Snape. Never would have thought that possible. So, what's he doing to keep you around?" A young woman, who was a couple years above Lily in school, asked.

Lily laughed. "Well, he" She paused. "What did you ask? Keeping _me_ around?"

"Honestly, Lily, something must keep you around. I mean, you don't have to keep him around. Someone as young and beautiful as yourself could have any man you wanted."

"I don't know what you mean, but-"

"Come on, sweetie. I know you've been stuck with the man, but honestly."

Lily was a bit surprised, but she should have expected this sort of response. "You think I felt I had no options?"

"Well, I hear you've been stuck in a muggle town with him."

"So?"

"Well, it kind of isolates you."

"Not really. I've had plenty of muggle men interested."

"So why didn't you take them?"

"They all only seemed interested in one thing from me."

"And that Slytherin doesn't want that from you?" Another lady asked.

"That Slytherin?" Lily asked coldly.

"Is he good in bed? Is that why?" Another woman a year above Lily spoke.

"You think I would only stay with him because of how he is in bed? You think I'm that shallow?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what are implying?" She asked and knew she sounded a little bitter.

"Well, he is a Death Eater, he-"

"Not a Death Eater." Lily interrupted. "He's on our side."

"He's a Slytherin-"

"Was-was a Slytherin. School ended five years ago, did it not? Houses don't matter even now, do they?"

"No, but-you can't really want to be with him, can you?" She asked in an almost whisper to Lily.

"Can't want to be with someone I get along with? Why not? Is it because everyone thinks he isn't good enough? Based on what?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. She clearly disagreed.

The women were silent.

"Or it solely his house status in school that makes him unworthy? Or was it his family's wealth? Perhaps all of the above?"

The women were silent except one Lily's age. A fellow Gryffindor. "Well, you remember how he was, don't you?-We tried to talk you out of it-he didn't deserve you as a friend."

"Deserve me?" Lily's eyes had turned into slits. "You're right. He didn't deserve me. I was not a good friend to him then. Instead of listening to him, I listened to you tell how I should think of those Slytherins."

Before anyone of them could respond, a voice rang out in the large room.

"Attention!" The voice boomed out. They stopped talking. "Thank you. Now, I would like to welcome everyone to the first annual celebration of the defeat of You-Know-Who. We are honoured to have two guests here this evening. They are here tonight for reasons no one understands, not even themselves. They managed to survive the killing curse and live to tell about it and defeat the dark side in the process. The Ministry welcomes Mr. Severus Snape and Ms. Lily Potter."

Lily and Severus found themselves bathed in light. Everyone looked at them. Severus gave a nod and Lily gave a hand to acknowledge the attention. The lights stayed on them though, making them both uncomfortable.

"Unfortunately, the most important survivor is not here this evening because it's past his bedtime. So in honour of the boy-who-lived, Mr. Harry Potter, we give a round of applause."

Severus and Lily both cringed at little at Harry's title. Lily especially hated the name and this was why she had said Harry would be too cranky since it started at seven. If she and Severus were forced to come to these gatherings, they would manage. Harry was just a child though and Lily thought he deserved a normal childhood, not one where he was famous and labelled.

"Now, to other matters."

Severus and Lily listened to the long speech about the war and casualties and injuries and You-Know-Who's reign. Finally, everyone got back to the party and dug into the food.

Severus felt more and more uncomfortable the more people whispered around him, looking at him, even pointing at him. He knew he shouldn't have come to such a gathering. It wasn't his thing. Social gatherings never were his thing.

"Do you think he spelled her?"

"Maybe gave her a love potion?"

Severus hated someone thinking that. He'd never do such a thing, but it did not matter what they thought.

"What do you think she sees in him?"

"Maybe it was the saving thing? His heroism perhaps?"

"My guess as well. Shiny knight saves the day." She grinned as Severus walked by. Severus noticed and it was not a kind grin. Him as a knight indeed. He almost wanted to laugh at the awful mental image.

Severus walked toward the punch bowl.

"You think he's good at rolling in the mud?" He heard a lady whisper to a friend near him.

"Hmm, I can't believe it, but he must be."

"I can't believe he would be either, but why else would Lily stay?"

"Well, look at him. His hair looks like someone dumped a bucket of grease on it."

"Or combed it with Vaseline."

Severus knew it shouldn't bother him. Lily did like him, but he unconsciously touched his hair that he had washed twice that day, desperate to get it clean for this event. Was it still that greasy-looking? No, she shouldn't care what they thought. He knew it was unimportant.

"He's so pale."

"In school he always hid out in the dungeons, making up dark spells and creating deadly potions."

Severus knew that was not entirely true.

"She's a beautiful, talented young woman. Such a shame she chose that one when she could have picked almost any single wizard our age."

"Well, she was friends with the bookworm in school. Maybe she just always felt sorry for him or something."

"I could see it."

"The brave beauty of the lion's den. Most of the girls were totally jealous of her. Talented, beautiful, the boys practically fell over her. She did manage to snag one of the hunks of her year-James Potter. We all pushed her to him. Tried to get her away from that one, we did. And we succeeded. He called her the m-word."

Severus saw Lily approaching from a distance.

"I heard. And she's with the one who did."

"She was angry and upset and we told her he was not worth it. He called everyone of muggleborn birth that anyway. Never understood why she even talked to the boy. Nothing good ever comes from a Slytherin."

"Now, she goes for that poor, skinny snake as a companion. Such a pity."

"Maybe we can set her up on a date. Let her know she really can have options. I mean, she's famous now. I'm certain he would be easy to find a companion for her."

Lily came over to Severus at the buffet. He was not eating though. "Hey, how are you doing?"

Severus looked at her uneasily. "I think I'm going to go."

"Are you okay?" She asked, noticing the discomfort in his voice.

"I'm fine. I just, I need to leave."

"Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"I'll see you in a bit. I'm going to, I need to take a walk. Then I'll meet you at home, okay?" He handed her a punch and walked away, leaving her baffled.

Lily watched him leave. Something had happened or something was wrong. Lily dumped the punch in the sink and tossed the cup in the bin.

As Lily turned to head for the door, she heard someone talking.

"The party got a little better now."

Lily saw one of her former schoolmates. Then she heard another voice behind her. "Leavin' already?" A man asked.

"Yes. I get the feeling we aren't really welcome here." She looked at the two women while she spoke.

"A`curse ya are." The man said.

"Severus isn't and if he's not, then neither am I." Lily glared at the woman one last time before hurrying out the door after Severus. When she made it outside, she saw him walking up the road, people looking at him oddly since he was still wearing his robes. Lily hurried after him. Severus stopped at a park and Lily was finally able to catch up to him.

"Sev?"

Severus turned to her. "You followed me?" He was a bit surprised.

"Of course I did. You left in such a hurry. I knew something was wrong."

"I'm fine."

"Are you ill?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"Nothing."

"I'm not an idiot. Something happened."

Severus was silent for a minute. "I don't belong in large social circles."

"I know it was uncomfortable for me too and I don't mind social gatherings much."

"I don't know why you chose me?"

"Sev, we've discussed this before." She looked at him. "Those women said something, didn't they? What did they say? Whatever they said about us or you, it was wrong."

"It's not all wrong. You did choose one of the bad guys."

"I did not choose a bad guy. I choose one I felt worked for me. And Harry."

"My greasy hair is still noticeable."

"It's not greasy." She grinned. "I like your hair."

"They want to set you up with someone else. Some of the women."

Lily looked shocked at that knowledge. "Well, I'm not going out with someone else. I already have someone." She turned Severus to her so he could look at her. She pulled him close and looked into his eyes. "I plan on sticking with you for quite awhile. Maybe forever."

Lily saw a smile form at the corner of his lips. She put her mouth over his and slid her hand to back of his head. Severus sucked her lips back. There was a loud bang that startled them.

"Look!" She said, pointing overhead at the park. "I see fireworks."

He turned to see what she was looking at. "Fireworks?"

Lily laughed. "Fireworks. How cliché? We kiss and there are fireworks."

Severus grinned. "I like that." He leaned in close. "But I don't know why they are setting them off."

"For us?" She joked.

"I don't think so."

"Isn't that the American embassy over there? It's their Independence Day or something, isn't it?"

"You think that's what the fireworks are for?"

"I think they set off fireworks for it. We just happened to be in the right place at the right time I guess." She turned to him with a bright smile. "It's ours too, you know?"

"Our what?"

"Our day of independence."

"What? We don't have an independence day."

"Not England. I mean us, the three of us, you, me and Harry. It's our independence day in a way. It's our day of freedom, from You-Know-Who's reign. When you think about it it's our world's freedom day."

"Is it a good thing to share a day another country celebrates that came from separating from England?"

"The fireworks display is lovely. It's something to remember always, isn't it? What happened 200 something years ago is of little importance. We have our own form of freedom. From a real tyrant. At least for now anyway." She sighed. "I just like the display." She looked up at the bursting lights. "Maybe you should invent a spell that shoots out fireworks like those?"

"Maybe." He said with a smile.

He put a hand on her shoulder. She turned to him. He put his hand on her waist. She placed her hands on his sides. He leaned in and kissed her mouth. She kissed him back. Lily could not help but feel like everything at that moment was perfect. Everything was right in the world. It was a wonderful, beautiful day. The weather was perfect, the temperature was perfect and if it hadn't been for the party, the day would be perfect. She did not need the liquid luck potion to get it either. They could make their own luck.

When they broke apart, she looked into his eyes. His eyes were not same as they were the day she had met up with him. He had changed. His eyes almost sparkled, like two small shiny obsidians. She knew that she had done that to him. She had unintentionally changed him for the better. It wasn't her goal when they met up and when he offered a shelter when Voldemort was after her, but she had done just that. She knew deep down though that she had not changed Severus on her own. He had changed her too and for the better. After James had died, she did not expect to find love again and certainly not so soon, but she had and felt she was better off for it.

Severus saw someone up ahead and his eyes grew wide. "Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't that- Is that your sister?"

Lily looked confused and turned to see what Severus was seeing. He was right. It was Petunia. Petunia and Vernon were headed their way and did not notice them at first. Lily wasn't sure if she should say anything. She wished they were closer. It was awkward to think she could not say hello to her own sister.

Petunia looked up and straight at Lily. She gasped and her eyes grew wide.

"What's the matter, dear?" Vernon asked.

Petunia stuck up her nose. Vernon looked at them. "Is that-"

"Yes, keep walking."

"Petunia." Lily said to nonchalantly.

"Lily." She paused. "Heard your husband got himself blown up."

Lily raised an eyebrow, but refused to rise to her sister's bait. "He died, yes."

It was then Petunia noticed Lily's company. She gasped. "You?"

"Me." Severus said with a sneer.

"Who is he?"

"He was that boy. That freak Lily used to hang out with growing up."

Severus sneered. "Haven't changed a bit, Petunia." He put his hand on Lily's shoulder.

"He ruined my sister."

"He helped me. Don't you think it's time you stopped being jealous of me?"

"I am not jealous." She snapped.

"You are very jealous of her. You wanted to go to the school too. We know it. You are mad at her over something she can't help."

"She's a freak. You are both freaks. You are both strange and abnormal, always were. Your kind is not welcome around us ever."

"That's a shame. Harry and Dudley could be friends."

"I will not allow your freak to play with my boy and let his strange behaviours influence my son."

"You can't catch being a wizard, you are born one, Petunia." Lily said. "Your son would be fine."

"Your son's a freak too, isn't he?"

"He is a wizard, yes. He's not a freak."

Severus rubbed the middle of Lily's back.

"You two aren't, oh, how disgusting! Lily and the Snape boy a couple?"

"Yes, we are." She grinned and looked at Severus.

"How long?"

"Oh, almost a year."

"You look ready to peck his lips off. Disgusting."

"You've seen us do it before."

"Well, next you'll be sleeping with him."

Lily said nothing and tried to stop a smile. Severus grinned coyly anyway. "Oh, dear me, you two have slept together?"

"I don't think what we do is any of your concern." Lily cleared her throat. "So, how is that son of yours? Never get to hear about my nephew."

Petunia gave her a suspicious look. "Perfect as always. Your offspring still alive, I presume."

"Yes."

"Where is he then?"

"With a sitter. Where's yours?"

"With Vernon's mother." Petunia gave a smug expression. "My husband took me to a lovely dinner and now we are going home."

Vernon was still looking between the three of them, clearly confused about what all was going on. "So, what was your name again?" He asked, looking at Severus.

"Severus Snape."

"What sort of name is that?"

"Mine." Severus said with a smirk on his lips.

"The new one doesn't know how to wash his hair." Vernon said to Petunia, a nasty grin piercing his lips.

"Well, he was from the other side of the tracks."

Severus and Lily both frowned.

"How much money do you have?"

"On me?"

"No. What is your wealth?"

"I get by just fine."

"You certainly don't invest in any shampoo."

Lily was losing her cool now. "Come on, Sev. Let's go. I am getting hungry. Let's go get something to eat."

"Perfect Lily does get what she finally deserves. She goes from wealthy, arrogant boyfriend who thinks he can somehow one up my normal husband to the poor loser from the worst part of town. I finally won."

Lily glared at her sister for a moment.

"She's not even worth it, Lily. Forget her."

Lily knew Severus was right. Petunia was not worth the anguish anymore. Lily sighed. "There was never a contest." She shook her head. "You know, it would have been nice to have had a sister." She turned on her heel and walked off with Severus.

Severus put his arm around her. "So, what sounds good?"

"I can make some pasta."

"You want to make dinner?"

"Why not?"

"It's just eight, you know. You want to get Harry already?"

"No. I was thinking we could spend the next two hours in our home-alone."

Severus grinned. "Sounds like a fine plan to me."

They turned into an alley and apparated to their backyard.

_**A/N:**__ Someone I know was in England on the fourth of July and the US Embassy set off some fireworks so yes, they do that. I did not make it up. Did I pick July 4 just for the cliché fireworks when they kissed for a one year anniversary of their lucky break and defeat of Voldemort-yes, yes I did. And yes, it was the only reason I picked that day. I was going for July 15-the ides of July (Like beware the ides of March-but in July) originally, but the fireworks changed my mind. If anyone does not know what the ides of March refer to: Julius Caesar. "Et tu, Brute?" _


	44. Chapter 44: Summer Days

_Thanks list was missing-sorry did not catch that at all: Thanks to **PhilosopherStone909, Tacker23, , Phoenix1592, Cara-tanaka, BlooDsuKkeR69, KraziiePyrozHavemorefun, MarissaRosee, Zireael07, PurplewolfDOTcom, Gyoro and Ururun, Narutonarutolove, Ujemaima,** and **Jordina** for their reviews. _

_**A/N: **__As I work on fixing up old chapters-on chapter 5 right now-I will deleting most of the author notes I had except for the most vital points I made for this story for understanding. Anyway, sorry it took so long to get this chapter up-every time I would sit down to write on it I would get interrupted so it took awhile and I did two once-overs for mistakes, but I still may have missed something. Do forgive. It's been a busy break and I have been working a lot. Things will get more interesting with this story starting next chapter I hope. I may get that done this week, but if not it may be awhile before I can finish it and get it up as school starts next Tuesday for me again until spring break in late March, where I will most certainly have lots of homework and not going on a vacation to Florida (though that sounds wonderful-screw the party scene-I just want the warmth and sunshine). I'll spare a rant about the fact that I won't be graduating next December like I had planned and just say that I hope you enjoy the chapter. It's cold and flu season so the germo/emetophobe here *points to self* wishes you a healthy January and winter. _

**Chapter 44: Summer Days**

_A month later_

Severus sighed contently as Lily's hand ran across his shoulders, massaging his bare back. He looked at Lily lying beside him on the blanket.

"Does that feel good?" She asked with a gentle smile on her lips.

"Wonderful."

"You do it to me so I think you deserve a good back rub."

"I appreciate it. I could stay like this forever." Severus sighed out of his nose lightly as she massaged his shoulder blades.

Lily grinned and leaned in closer. "So could I." She turned to see Harry, who was playing with a toy airplane their neighbours had gotten him for his birthday a couple days before.

"Harry loves his new toys." She said to him, looking back at Severus.

"At least Black didn't decide to give him a rogue muggle mix sport ball this year."

Lily laughed softly. "No, this year he got Harry the alphabet blocks, though they do collapse if not stacked in order."

"He spent half the day yesterday playing with that toy dragon that Remus gave him. At least it does not breathe fire."

Lily chuckled a couple times. "Yes, thank goodness. That toy snake and new swing are his favourites I think."

"Your idea for a toy snake worked. The kid sleeps with his snake."

Lily grinned. "Takes after his mother."

Severus turned his head to her and pushed his hair out of his face. "In a different way."

Lily sighed to herself. "Indeed." She felt like her life was perfect. A part of her would never forget her late husband and that life, but this life now made her happy and content. Thinking about how far she had come and how much they had all been through, she felt like she had found, for the most part, her happiness again. She had someone she loved again and who loved her back just as much and for who she was. Her son was happy and Severus had grown to like her child and Harry had attached himself to Severus quickly. She felt lucky to have all she had.

"My life is perfect." She said to him. "to me, that is. It's not perfect 100%, but it's enough for me."

"I say mine is close to perfect." He sighed happily as her fingers caressed his shoulder blades. The gods had changed their mind about torturing him finally. Lily was all it took to turn his life from just living day to day and surviving to thriving and content with the way things were for the most part. He could never fix all his mistakes, but he made definitely proven to her that he was sorry and would always be sorry. He seemed to proven far more than he even knew himself capable of doing-being a lover, having a family in a way, not being a Death Eater, sacrificing himself for another and even more.

"As close as it gets." She looked up at the nearly blue sky. The day was warm and lovely. She could hear someone mowing their grass in the distance.

Severus heaved a quiet sigh to himself. "Too bad I will be back at school in a month."

Lily stopped rubbing his back for a moment. "I know. Don't remind me. I like being here with you and seeing you every day and spending my nights with you."

Severus raised an eyebrow as he looked over at her. "Most of our nights are not spent together."

"In the same house, not the same room, but I do love when we do spend our nights together."

He grinned to himself, thinking about the nights they spent alone, often just talking and fooling around, letting their guard down and enjoying each other's company. "So do I."

Lily half-heartedly rolled her eyes. "You just love when we have a roll."

Severus was a bit surprised by that statement and gave a small glare. "What's wrong with that? But we often don't do anything anyway, just talk and enjoy each other's company."

Lily chortled slightly. "I think you want me to shut up and get a leg over you most of the time."

Severus grinned. "My mind is not only on sex, Lily."

Lily looked up at the sky and huffed in fake annoyance. "You can't tell me that you don't think about it when I am lying beside you in bed."

"I might, but it's not all I think about," He paused. "Usually."

She raised an eyebrow that Severus looked a lot like him."Oh, yeah, what else is on your mind?"

"Not much. I usually think about how beautiful you are. How sexy you look in that summer gown of yours, how you talk with your hands, especially when excited."

Lily smiled. "That's all related to sex."

"Not entirely, but I would be lying if I said I don't think about it at all. I do, but that's not the only think about when I look at you. I am not Black, Lily. I don't see a woman and instantly want to sleep with her." He let out a breath as she massaged his shoulders. "Except you"

Lily suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. "See what I mean."

"Hey now." He grinned. "I have lots to think about, but it's not your fault I think about it when looking at you sometimes. You just turn me on by moving."

Lily felt herself blushing and she didn't know why. She was aware he found her attractive. They were lovers after all, but knowing that looking at her made him lust for her made her feel surprisingly happy. "I understand. You in those professor robes-rather sexy."

Severus was a bit surprised to her use the word sexy to describe him, but then again, they were lovers and she clearly found him attractive so why wouldn't she be turned on at times by him. "You want me to wear them around home?"

"No," She grinned. "I'd rather you not wear anything at all."

"I could go for that in the house as long you do the same."

Lily laughed. "That would be a bad idea though. Too many people can arrive at any time. We'll just have to stick to those robes." She winked at him.

Severus saw her wink and suppressed the urge to pull her closer, feeling a sudden desire for her. "Well, I think you look damn good in almost anything-those training robes and muggle clothes look good on you. I think those muggle jeans and jumpers and shirts and skirts you wear are just as attractive as the training robes you wear. Nothing at all works as well if you so desire."

Lily laid her head down beside him and took her hand and fixed his falling strands of hair out of his face, smiling as she heaved a heavy sigh. "I'm going to miss your company when you go back to school. I love waking up and seeing you beside me." She sighed. "It makes everything feel nice. Like it's-like this is how it should be. I just like having you here during the days and nights. It's comforting. It's harder being alone. I can do it fine, but I miss you."

Severus took his hand and ran is through her hair to the back of her neck. "Yes. Seeing your beautiful face makes my day better." He was definitely going to miss her. This was the hard part of leaving and it got harder and harder as time had passed and they grown closer and closer. He didn't dare show it though.

"I love you." She said, running her fingers across his back again.

He loved hearing her say that. It still seemed unreal to have her here and to hear her say those words and mean them just surprised him. He never thought it would happen. "I love you too."

"What happens when we get married?"

He turned to her again. "What do you mean?"

She huffed as she sighed. "With you gone all the time. It'll be hard."

"We could make it work." He reassured.

"I know. I just-I'd like to-"

"To have me here every night?"

"Yes." She laid her chin on his shoulder, still massaging his back. "I wish you were here every night. I look forward to the day you and I can stop splitting rooms and share a bed of our own. I'd love it if we had it every night together." She sighed. "But with your job, I know that can't happen."

He smiled at that image. He would love that too. "Are you already thinking about marriage?"

"Well, not right away, but maybe a little. If we have made it through this much already-I have thought about it, but it's not like we are in a hurry. Besides, I think we can make it work-a marriage that is. I think we'd be fine, even if it will hard with you gone a lot."

"I'm sure we would be." He shut his eyes. "Do you have any idea when you would like to move forward in that way?"

"No. Whenever. I mean, getting engaged whenever. Marriage at some future point."

"Oh." He was not sure if she was hinting she wanted them to get engaged and move forward that way or not. It sure sounded like it. He would have to think about moving into that place with her. Oh, who was he fooling? He was happy to move into that area of life with her, to get into a stable and committed relationship with her if that's what she wanted.

Lily looked over at Harry who had stopped playing with his new swing and come over to them.

"Come on, mummy. Come on." He grabbed her arm.

"What are we doing?"

"Push me on the swing. I want to go way up high."

"Okay. In a sec." She looked at Severus. "Come on, let's get up."

"We have to stop?" He really didn't want her to stop massaging his back, but he knew they needed to do other things besides lay around.

"Yes, let's enjoy the lovely, warm day." She leaned to his ear. "Besides, I can rub your back all night if you want. I would happily do so if you will rub my back in turn."

"Be beasts with two backs?"

Lily grinned. "Maybe." She brushed a lock of hair out of his face so she could see it better. "When we marry here soon-"

"Are you hinting you want me to propose to you? I don't even have a ring right now." He interrupted.

She laughed. "Of course not right now. I am just making a statement."

"If I got you a ring and proposed tomorrow would it make you happy?"

Lily sighed, but grinned happily. "Whenever you want to consider it, I will be fine. No rush."

"No, not at all."

Lily gave a couple pats on his back. "Come on." She got to her feet. "Let's go."

Severus groaned, but got up. He pulled his shirt down. Severus watched Lily wiggle her fingers and Harry grinned, turned and started to run away from her. She ran after him. She caught up to him and swung him up in her arms. "Got you."

He squealed with laughter. Lily put him down. "You are getting heavy."

"I want to swing now."

"Okay."

Harry went to the swing and sat on it. Lily pushed him on the swing. Severus looked around the yard. He heard some birds chirping back and forth to each other in a song. A squirrel dashed across the fence on the left side of the yard between the neighbours place. Severus was sure he could hear their parakeet squawking. Why they wanted all those animals was something Severus did not get. Surprisingly though, their house was quite clean despite the three snakes, two rabbits, four dogs, two cats, a parrot, a couple other birds and a ferret.

"Push me higher." Harry called out.

Severus heard a car engine start up and someone shouting. He never would have thought a muggle neighbourhood could be so peaceful when he loved their world; the one they all belonged in, but there was safety here and that made him happy and content. Lily was safe here. Harry was safe here. He was safe here and here they were mostly left alone. Rita Skeeter had attempted to contact them for the one year mark, but a month later and it was quiet again. He liked and preferred it that way. The bad was hiding what they were to others and pretending to be "normal" to their neighbours. In the house, they used their magic quite often, but it was difficult to not use any when out in public or to have to do it secretly.

0o0o0o

_That night_

Lily felt a tug on her knee. "Mummy? Are you sleeping?"

She opened her eyes found herself looking at Severus. He was sound asleep. They must have clonked out while talking earlier. She looked over and saw a figure at her bed. Harry. She summoned her wand in the dark and used it to turn on the light. Severus didn't even stir. Lily knew he must be deep in sleep.

"What's the matter? What happened?"

"They were chasing me." Harry sobbed.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

He nodded and rubbed his eye, sniffing.

Lily sighed and turned to Severus. She nudged him. "Sev?" He didn't budge. She nudged him harder and accidently rammed her elbow into his side. That woke him up.

"Huh? What?" He asked as he opened his eyes. He turned to Lily, stifling a yawn. "What's wrong?"

"We have a visitor."

"Huh?" Severus propped himself to look over Lily. "Oh." He laid back down.

"You want me to take him back to my bed for the night?"

"No. It's fine as long he lets us sleep." Severus shut his eyes.

Lily moved over toward Severus. "Come on, hop in."

Harry crawled into the bed. Lily put covers over him. "Can we have eggs in the-in the morning?"

"Sure."

"And juice."

"Harry?" Severus said. "Go to sleep. Worry about breakfast in the morning."

Lily smiled. "Severus is right. Go to sleep." As Lily started to drift off to sleep, she felt something on her hip and her eyes bolted open. She saw Harry trying to squeeze in-between them. "What are you doing?"

"I want in the middle."

Lily sighed and moved over. She turned to face him. "Okay." She whispered. "But you need to stay still and go to sleep."

He nodded and shut his eyes. Lily sighed and drifted into a peaceful slumber.

Severus woke up, startled by the smell of something strange. It smelled like feet, oddly enough. He looked over and saw a small foot on his chest. Harry was sound asleep, upside down on his bed. Severus scoffed. He turned his head and saw Lily dozing soundly to his left. He rubbed his hand down his face and removed his Harry's foot off of his chest. He got out of the bed and headed out of the room and into the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" Someone asked and startled him as he rinsed his face. He turned to see Harry in the doorway.

"Washing my face." Severus was glad he was not in the middle of using the toilet when Harry walked in at least.

"Why?"

"So I can shave."

"What's shave?"

"Get rid of hair on my face."

"Why?"

Severus was getting a little annoyed by the questions. "Because that's what grown ups do."

"Why?"

"Because they have lots of extra hair."

"Why?"

"Ask mother nature."

"Who's that?"

"No one. It's just a saying."

"Why?"

Severus glared at Harry. "No more questions until breakfast."

Harry just looked at him for a minute. "I have to go potty."

Severus huffed and left the bathroom. He would shave later.

0o0o0o

_Two weeks later_

Severus saw Lily hurry into the kitchen. He looked at the time.

"I know, I know, I'm running late." She grabbed a couple bread slices.

"That's your breakfast?"

"A sandwich is fine."

"There's nothing in it."

"I'm in a hurry. It's something in my stomach, is it not?"

"If it's enough for you."

"It'll hold me off until lunch." She kissed his lips. "Bye." She went over to Harry, who was eating his hot cereal at the table. She kissed his cheek. "Bye. Be good today."

"Okay."

"Bye, Lily."

"I'll be back around 3 or so." She hurried out of the kitchen, through the living space and out of the door.

Harry looked at Severus. "Now what?" He shrugged.

Severus looked outside and saw a bird attempting to pry a worm from their yard. "It's a nice day. You can go play in the backyard."

"Okay." Harry got down from his chair. "I'm going outside."

Lily entered from her training lessons that afternoon to an empty home. She went into the kitchen and saw Harry outside. She went to the back door and slid it open.

Harry laughed as he popped an elephant shaped pink bubble. Lily turned to Severus, who was making a blue giraffe bubble appear from his wand. Harry followed it and touched it. It popped and he laughed.

"Do it again."

"What animal do you want now?"

"A tiger."

"A tiger?"

"A purple tiger!" Harry said.

Severus refrained from rolling his eyes. Purple tigers, pink elephants, blue giraffes, green penguins, the kid did not understand the actual colours of animals at all. "Tiger's aren't purple."

"I want a purple tiger."

Severus sighed and made a purple tiger appear from his wand. Harry chased the tiger around and then popped it. Severus was glad the boy was at least entertained by the display.

"What are you two doing?" Lily asked.

Severus turned to see Lily standing there in her robes, smiling.

"Mummy!" Harry said and ran to her.

Lily picked him up. "Did you behave today?"

Harry nodded. "We played on the, on the swings and we played tag and hide-and-seek and played animal bubbles."

"Sounds exciting. I hope you had fun."

"I had lots of fun."

Lily put Harry down. "So, did he behave?"

"He was fine. Full of energy."

"I was hoping you would wear him down for a nap." Lily joked.

"I think I would end up needing the nap more if I tried that." Severus said as he approached her. "I missed you."

"I missed mummy." Harry said in an attempt to join the conversation.

"I missed you both. Now, what should we have for dinner?"

"I have some ravioli cooking."

"Mmm, sounds lovely. What else?"

"Salad and some bread and whatever you want for dessert."

"I love that I come home and you have a meal already cooking. I don't mind when I get to cook with you too."

"Here soon you will have to go back to cooking meals for Harry."

Lily sighed. "I know. Don't remind me." Lily looked up at the sky. "It looks like it could rain."

"It's been thundering off in the distance."

"Well, let's get your toys inside Harry and then you can go down for a short nap before dinner."

"I don't want a nap. I'm not sleepy."

"We'll see about that. Now go on." She pointed to Harry's toys in the yard. "Let's get your stuff inside before it gets rained on."

Harry grabbed a few toys and Lily threw the rest in with her wand. Severus moved the chairs to the shed and went inside just ahead of the rain.

Lily took Harry upstairs and put him down for his nap before coming back down to the kitchen where Severus was using his wand to chop up some vegetables for a salad.

"So, Black's fiancée is having baby shower on the 15th of next month."

"Why so late? I mean, she's due around then, isn't she?"

"Yes, the 23rd, but you don't have anything until close to time just in case something goes wrong. It's tradition to not put up anything in the nursery until the baby is home and safe."

Severus turned to her. "I didn't know that."

"I was invited to go to her shower-Chara. I keep forgetting her name."

"Are you going?"

Lily sighed. "Oh, probably. Thought I would give her something. I don't have much from when Harry was a baby so I bought her a mobile."

Severus said nothing. He did not want to bring up how the last two houses had destroyed most of his Harry's things. "A mobile would be nice."

"The few things I have I want to keep."

"So Harry has some things from his infancy and baby years?"

Lily shrugged and looked down. "That and who knows-maybe I will use them again someday."

Severus turned to her. "You aren't trying to tell something, are you?"

Lily laughed at the serious look on his face that was almost dread. "No. I'm not pregnant. I just meant one day maybe I will get to use them again."

Severus let out a sigh of relief. They were careful, but anything could happen. Nothing was foolproof after all. He was not ready for a child and would probably never be and he just needed to stop worrying about it. If Lily ended up pregnant, then she ended up pregnant and they would be fine. They had an income and a nice house and there was definitely extra room in the house for another child though he and Lily would need to stop living in split rooms and move to the master bedroom, give Harry a new room, the baby Harry's room and Lily's would be the extra. He wasn't ready for a child, but the idea of moving into the master room with Lily wouldn't be a problem.

Lily had apparently been having the same thoughts. "If I did get pregnant though, we would be okay. We have a good relationship, a nice house, you are generating an income and we definitely have plenty of room for another child when we have another baby, whenever we do. If I got pregnant tonight, we would eventually have to make room arrangements. I mean, I think it would be best for us to move into the master-maybe consider getting married. I mean, we practically are married anyway. Harry could move into your room or mine, they are the same size. The baby would take Harry's room since it's across from the master. We even have an extra room if we wanted to go for two children and not just one."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "One would be enough."

Lily laughed. "I was just joking, Sev. Relax. I'm not even pregnant right now."

"Are you sure?"

"100%. I just had my cycle."

"I didn't need to know that."

She smiled. "You asked."

Severus sat down in the chair beside her. "Well, I certainly wouldn't mind us moving to the master bedroom. It would make life easier."

Lily gave a half shrug of uncertainty. "I don't want it to look wrong for Harry."

"He doesn't know anything. He wouldn't get it."

"Well, I don't want him to learn what we are doing when he is older."

"I think he will eventually learn that's what couples do."

"Eventually. I just don't want him to learn that we shared a bed before marriage."

"We already share a bed from time to time."

"That doesn't mean I want him to know that."

Severus shook his head, but smiled. "I think he will guess when he learns that we shared a house while dating for a year or two. I'm sure he will figure it out. He's a smart kid. You can't hide the realities and facts of life from him forever."

Lily grinned. "No, I guess not. I just feel like maybe we should be more careful."

"What's so bad about it? It's not a big deal if some years down the road he guesses we were sleeping together before we married each other, is it?"

"No." She smiled at him. "I guess it does not matter really." Lily got up from her seat.

"Where are you going?"

"Thought I would check on the pasta."

Severus grabbed her waist and pulled her to him. She gasped, but smiled. "I think it's fine."He pulled her to his lap. Lily took her hand and brushed his hair out of his face. As she leaned into his lips, a loud crack of thunder interrupted them. They both turned to look outside. Rain began to pound against the doors and windows in a downpour. Lightning lit up the sky.

"It's a nasty day." Severus said with a have grin.

"Not in here."

Lily put her lips over his mouth. Severus put his hand on her back. He was right, what did it matter what they did alone? All that really mattered was that Harry got to see that they loved each other and cared about each other. That was what was important when it came to their relationship.

There were footsteps coming down the stairs. "Mummy!" Harry cried out.

Lily removed her lips from Severus's and sighed. "Looks like Harry won't be taking a nap today. In here, honey! We're in the kitchen!"

"Nope." Severus replied. "The storm is probably keeping him up." There was a loud crack of thunder. "Maybe scaring him too."

"It probably is." Harry came running to them, holding his snake. Lily pulled Harry up onto her lap. Severus grunted under the weight of both of them.

"Let's move to the living room." Lily suggested. She got up with Harry. "Let's turn on the telly and see what's on, okay?"

Severus got up as another loud crack of thunder shook the house. Harry whimpered.

"It's okay. It's just a storm." Lily reassured him.

"The telly would be a good idea-get his mind on something besides the storm." Severus said as he turned on the set. Lily sat down on the couch with Harry. Severus sat beside of her and put his around her, rubbing her arm gently. He was not sure what show Lily had on-it was some cartoon, but Harry was enjoying it as if entranced. As he looked at Lily, he began to wonder when he ought to ask her for her hand in marriage. She certainly hinted she wanted to move that direction, and hinted that she wanted to have a child eventually, but how soon? He presumed he should give it a full year at least, but that was approaching fast. Severus figured he ought to start saving up for a ring regardless.


	45. Chapter 45: Losing Control

_Thanks to **Cara-tanaka, 8thweasleykid, GothGirl3030, TOWTLS, Gyoro and Ururun, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, Phoeniz1592, Ujemaima,** and **MarissaRosee** for the reviews. _

_**A/N: **__I'm sure everyone is very busy this time of the year and I just wanted to say that I have one more chapter almost completed for this story and then I will likely break for awhile. I have 45 chapters and almost 750 reviews. You guys are awesome and are probably wondering when this story will end already. ;) I will be very busy this semester-much more than last so thanks for all the wonderful reviews and messages. I will be happy to message-it's not as complicated as chapter writing and a lot of you I have enjoyed having conversations with so to those who do a lot of back and forth pming with me-I will continue doing that. If I do get the chance to work on this story, I will do so and put up an update, but just expect it to be sporadic until mid-May. _

_*And just a little reminder for this chapter-a rather intimate scene. _

**Chapter 45: Losing Control**

_15 September 1983_

Severus arrived at the baby shower to take Lily home so she wouldn't have to walk home in the dark. A tall, thin, blonde-haired, blue-eyed and enormously pregnant woman answered the door. She looked at him slightly disgusted. "Can I help you-sir? We don't do charity if that's what you want."

Severus noted the disdain in her voice. "I'm here for Lily."

"Lily?" She looked confused for a second and then the woman scrutinized Severus. "Oh, you must be her new someone." She huffed and gave him a smug look. "Sirius was right. A smart, pretty girl like Lily did decide to lower her standards. From what I hear about her former husband, guess she had no choice. Why she lowered them to you though-I can't explain it."

Severus officially decided he did not like this woman and he was rather certain this woman was Sirius's girlfriend. Considering his feelings toward Sirius it did not surprise him one bit that he would find his fiancée to be just as unpleasant to be around as well."So, you must be Chara-the girl Sirius knocked up while drunk on New Year's Eve. Pleasure to meet you." Severus did not extent his hand for any formal greeting, a snarl on her lips.

Chara frowned and pointed inside. "She's in the formal living room."

Severus walked past Chara and to the living room. All the women in the room looked up. There were several women there. Severus estimated about two dozen and some young children running around and squealing.

Lily looked relieved to see him a little early. She got up and cleared her throat. "Well, um, good luck to you during labour and delivery." She said to Chara and grabbed her purse and left with Severus.

"So, guess it wasn't much fun?" Severus asked as they walked away from Sirius's home.

"Hell is a good word." She huffed. "She liked the mobile though."

"Chara was the pregnant blonde who answered the door? She seems like Sirius's type completely."

Lily found her words stuck on her tongue. "Well, she came off as a bit stuck-up to me. She and Sirius are getting married on Valentine's Day this coming year."

"Why so long?"

"Something about waiting for the baby to be older-about six months though she won't be quite that old at that point."

"Black with a kid-that's a scary thought-and a wife."

"She seems a lot like him-wild, crazy so they seem like a good fit to me."

"Sounds like it."

Lily and Severus apparated to their street and headed up the road. Lily knocked on their neighbours' door.

"Apparently they want lots of children."

"That's what the world needs."

Lily held back a smile. "Yeah, well, wait until she's been labour for 30 hours and feels like she's been gobsmacked by the crucio several times once it's over."

"And yet, you claim to want to eventually do that again?" Severus said. Every time she spoke of being pregnant and giving birth and carrying for a newborn, it made him wonder why she would even want to consider it again.

"Yes." She sighed. "But just once more. I would love for Harry to have a sibling, to have a younger brother or sister."

"It's not my decision. You're the one who has to grow the thing for nine months and spend those 30 hours in terrible pain, not me."

The door opened. "Come on in. Harry's not asleep yet. I gave him a bath though and he had a few bites of carrot cake. He's in with the snakes right now. He wanted to tell them good night."

Lily and Severus entered the house and followed Gertrude to the room with the reptiles. Harry was looking through a tank and Severus gasped as Harry opened his mouth to speak. The words that came out were not English. Harry was hissing in what Severus knew was a unique language. Lily started to scream and had to put her fist to her mouth to stop it. Gertrude looked at them confused.

"It's just his own language-he can't actually communicate with them."

Lily felt horrified. Her son was parselmouth. He could talk to snakes! He was talking to the snakes and hissing in a language she had never heard before. Severus just stood there in complete shock at the realization that Harry could speak to snakes. That was an inherited ability and Harry had no ancestry really for that. The only other person alive known to speak to snakes was Voldemort and Severus was starting to realize that this was probably not a good thing.

"_It was no wonder that Harry liked snakes_." Severus thought. _"He can communicate with them." _He looked at Lily, who did not look so well.

Lily felt dizzy. "I need to lay down. I don't feel so well."

Gertrude turned and Severus attempted to lunge for Lily as she collapsed to the floor. He caught her before her head hit the ground. He thought Lily was probably terrified that her son would become a dark wizard now. It was a well-known dark wizard ability. _"He will have powers the Dark Lord knows not." "The dark Lord will mark him as an equal."_ Those words of the prophecy rang in his head. Harry could talk to snakes and so could Voldemort-his equal.

Severus saw Harry looking at the adults in confusion. "What's wrong with Mummy?" He asked. Severus swallowed hard. Dammit, the child was barely three and he was clueless as to the reality of his destiny. The child was meant to save their world-that was a lot to ask from a toddler. Severus was now more than ever in agreement with Lily; Harry needed to be oblivious from his fate for as long as possible, which meant until he got to school age in the wizard world. If any other witch or wizard learned of Harry's ability, Severus knew there might be trouble for the boy.

Lily came to and looked at Severus, who was looking at her in shock and concern.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked. He instantly realized that was a stupid question. Of course she wasn't okay; her son was able to communicate with snakes.

Gertrude looked concerned. "Dear, I know this may be a personal question, but-are you with child?"

Lily was surprised at that statement. She shook her head. "No. I just-shock-that's all. I'm fine." Severus helped Lily to her feet. "Thanks for watching him this evening."

"It's no trouble."

"You sure you don't want even a little payment?" Lily wanted to pay the woman, but every time Lily tried, Gertrude stubbornly refused to accept, telling her that she had enough money and she enjoyed having a little one around again.

"Absolutely none. He's an angel."

Severus cleared his throat. "Well, Lily. We should probably go home and get Harry to bed."

"Yes. Thanks again." She turned to Harry. "Come on, Harry, let's go on home."

Harry hissed something to the snakes, making Lily look like a ghost, before turning around. "Okay. I told the snakes good-bye."

"That-that's wonderful." Lily stammered out. "Let's-let's go home."

Severus picked Harry up because Lily seemed a little fragile still. He was afraid she might faint again. Severus put Harry into bed and Lily had calmed enough to read him a story.

"Sev, we need to talk-downstairs-your lab where Harry can't hear us."

When they got into his lab, Severus muffled their conversation.

Lily began to pace the floor. "How could this happen? I don't understand. My son can talk to snakes-it-he-how-I don't-I don't understand."

"I don't know, but it was definitely serpent tongue. Your son is a parselmouth."

"Why-how? It's obtained or inherited. Where did he get it? No one else in the wizard world can speak it. It's the mark of dark, of evil."

"The only other person known to be able to speak it is You-Know-Who."

"That's my point."

Severus's sighed. "The Dark Lord will mark him as his equal."

"What?"

"The prophecy."

Her eyes grew wide. "You-Know-Who could talk to snakes and my son can talk to snakes." She gave a short scoff. "Of course. Like the Dark Lord. Just perfect." She paced the room again. "But how did Harry become a parselmouth?"

Severus did not make any mention of the fact that she had used the term she hated to refer to Voldemort. "I don't know. Something happened the night he disappeared." Severus's head spun trying to piece this together. "What if-what if he somehow gave Harry some of his powers?"

"Why would he do that? He wouldn't knowingly, would he?"

"I don't know why, Lily. It's just a theory as to why Harry can talk to snakes. Maybe the backfiring wand at his death caused him to-I don't know-give off some of his abilities or something." Severus ran his hand through his hair and huffed.

"But he didn't die that night. Dumbledore said he will come back."

"He did die, I think. He caused himself to turn into almost nothing anyway. That's beside the point-the point is that perhaps when the wand backfired he gave Harry his own ability."

"So you think he unknowingly gave Harry some of his own powers that night?"

"It would certainly give Harry extra fodder and would certainly explain how he obtained the rare ability."

"Do you think Harry is destined to be like-like him?"

Severus could detect the worry in her voice. "No. He's destined to defeat the Dark Lord for good somehow. You can't fight the dark with dark, only with light and vice versa." Severus huffed, feeling a headache coming on.

"That's an awful big burden for a child."

"Yes, it is. I don't see any need to tell him about this until he is much, much older."

"Absolutely. We just need to pretend like this is no big deal. We will start to scare our neighbors. I made her think I was pregnant or something when I-passed out." She ran her hand through her hair nervously. "Slytherin's mascot is a snake, a serpent."

"And?"

"Do you think Harry will be in Slytherin?"

"His parents weren't."

"Harry's not us. Harry may be my child, but he's not me and he's not James." Lily rubbed her temple, feeling a headache coming on.

"I know." He paused. "I would not worry about it. He's hardly three. You still have about eight years before he will go to Hogwarts. Worry about it then."

"You're right." She sighed. "It doesn't matter anyway. If he ends up Slytherin, I don't see that as bad. I mean, he's surrounded by people against-him."

"You don't hate them too much, you are living with one."

She smiled and put her hand on his back. "I never said I hated Slytherins and I am living with one and I am happy about it." She looked into his eyes. "Come on, let's go to bed. I have a headache."

"So do I."

As they left the room, someone opened the front door, making Lily gasp in surprise. Sirius entered the room with Remus.

"Sorry to barge in, but-"

Sirius, who appeared to be a bit intoxicated, interrupted Remus. "I was wondering if you had a potion for a stye in the eye. Driving me nuts. Figured you would have the drops."

"Um, yeah," Lily said. "Second shelf on the left-third potion down."

Sirius nodded and staggered slightly into the lab. They heard a slight crash. Severus grumbled.

"Don't worry, just knocked the potion over." Sirius said. "It's fine."

Lily huffed. Remus cleared his throat. "He may have a little too much to drink on his day off-wanted a last day of fun before the baby came."

Sirius came out of the lab and gave a wave. "Thanks for the-thanks for the potion."

They left and Lily looked at Severus. Severus shook his head in aggravation. "We are getting better locks for the door."

Lily smiled a little sheepishly. "Let's go to bed. You have your Argus-eye?"

"Of course." He pulled out the stone triangle with a clear circle in the middle. "Care if I room with you tonight?"

"Not at all. I could use some nice company after the day I had."

Severus headed up the stairs behind her, turning at the landing on the stairs to lock the front door and put the charms in place before clicking off the lights.

0o0o0o

_2 November, 1983_

Lily was alone in the kitchen with Severus. Remus and Sirius had taken Harry to a Quidditch game since Chara had gone out of town with their new daughter, Talitha to visit her sister. Lily was still shocked to think about Sirius having a four week old baby. At least he had stepped up and taken responsibility, at least a little anyway. They were all living in his house and seemed to be doing okay. Lily hoped they were for Talitha's sake.

Severus had his arms around her and was kissing her neck. Lily felt a deep and strong desire for him, maybe because it had been awhile since they had had alone time like this, maybe it was the time of the month, whatever it was, she was insane-she had to have been. He just looked so attractive and as he stroked her spine intimately, she could not take it anymore. She pulled away from him. He looked surprised. She walked away and wagged her finger to follow. She pulled him into his lab and she had no idea why she decided they should do it there when they had three beds that were far more suitable. It was a very heated moment of passion deal, she would figure later and she did not care where it was as long as they were alone.

Severus knew where they were going and knew what she wanted the moment she moved her finger to summon him. He was glad she wanted that because he certainly did. He took hold of her and put mouth over hers. They were not paying enough attention as they made out with each other and she crashed into his desk, knocking his, thankfully empty, cauldron over. Instead of stopping and getting annoyed, Severus just went at her harder. "Forget it. We'll pick it up later." He said as his hands groped her bosom up her shirt.

Her entire body throbbed with desire for him. She moved her body until she was pressed against him. Severus felt himself losing all control when he felt her tongue against his own. He balled his hands into a fist to try and gain some power over himself back, but truthfully, he did not care about his control right now. He wanted to lose it with her. Her hands ran over his body and he found his own hands touching areas of her that surprised him and caused her make out with him even harder.

Lily slid her hands toward his groin. She felt his rough hands slid up her legs under her skirt. Lily took her wand and transfigured Severus's chair into a mattress. They pulled each other down on to it. She lifted her skirt as he quickly undid his pants. His pelvis was on fire, yearning for every inch of her. He reached for his wand. Lily pulled herself to him, tossing his wand across the room in what she would later consider an insane move.

Severus was confused. "What are you doing?" He asked, breathing heavy.

"I'll just take the potion." Lily did not want to wait and the potion would be enough. She was surprised when Severus did not attempt to retrieve his wand or protest. He put his lips over hers and moved his body to her.

They had made love harder than she ever remembered going at him before. She still didn't know what had happened to cause her behave how she did, so irrationally with him. Severus too, who was usually so controlled, even in their love making before, seemed to have gotten carried away. He had been almost animal in the act. She was not any better in her own behaviour. Lily started to realize how insane they were behaving, rolling around on the floor like this. She didn't want to stop though. It was clear to her that he had no intention of stopping either.

It was more than hour later when they finally calmed down and stopped making love.

"I need to take my potion." Lily said, breathing really hard, but happy at the same time. She felt great, euphoric. Lily sat up and pulled back her hair, knowing it was probably a mess now. She fixed her skirt. Severus fixed his pants and pushed his hair out of his face. As she messed with her hair and hummed softly, he decided that now would be a good time to ask her. He dug into his jeans pocket and felt his hand shaking. He could do this. His fear was that she would say no, but he knew his fears were unfounded. He just had to get up the nerve to ask her. He could lie straight-faced to one of the most evil wizards to ever exist and intimidate sassy teenagers into doing what they were asked for class, but the thought of asking Lily's hand in marriage caused him to panic despite the fact that this was what she wanted.

"Lily?" He managed to say as she fixed her shirt.

Lily looked at him and saw him looking almost nervous, which took her by surprise. Severus was not a nervous person. "Huh?"

"I-well, I-I have something to-to ask you."

She smiled and raised an eyebrow curiously. "Oh?"

Severus shut his eyes. He could do this. Lily watched his hand shaking and saw him pull something out of his pocket. She saw a small box in his hand and her eyes grew wide. Her heart raced in her chest. It was definitely a ring box. Was he going to ask her for marriage? She felt her throat go dry as he opened the box at the speed of a snail or at least it seemed like it to her. Lily took a deep breath as she saw the beautiful ring with a small diamond on it. She gasped.

Severus had to use all the control he had to calm himself as he opened the box so he would not look so nervous. He heard her gasp and she put her hand to her mouth.

He took her free hand in his. "Lily, would you-would you want to-would you consider" He was fumbling on his words. Dammit.

"Taking your hand in marriage?" She asked, trying and failing to contain her own excitement.

Severus nodded and felt himself relaxing. "Would you consider taking my hand in marriage and mine in yours?"

Lily felt her eyes grow wet and she struggled with words due to the lump in her throat so she nodded instead, afraid to even consider making him think she didn't want to marry him. She cleared her throat. "Yes." She finally said, though it was weak. She wiped her eyes and threw her arms against him, surprising him and knocking him off balance. Lily grabbed his shirt and barely kept him from hitting his head on the concrete floor. "Sorry."

Severus felt a grin forming on his lips as pulled himself back upright. "It's fine. A little excited?"

She nodded. He removed the ring from the box. She held out her hand while he slid the ring onto her finger. "Oh god. I can't believe it." She sniffed and Severus held her hand in his. "When should we get married?" She asked with a laugh.

"Whenever you want."

"Maybe this coming spring?" She watched for his expression.

He shrugged. "That would be fine with me."

Lily thought a moment. "Or earlier-maybe winter break? You will be home then."

Severus really did not care about when they got married. It was entirely up to her. "Whatever works for you works for me."

"We can have Remus or our neighbours watch Harry while we go away."

"Away?"

Lily looked at him and shook her head with a tsk. "It's kind of a tradition-the couples going away for awhile, at least for the wedding night."

"What for?" He had never been to a wedding so he was not really sure about how it worked in their world.

"Well, I think it has to do with the fact that most marriages were arranged and it gave the new couple time alone to bond-in many ways-if you know what I mean."

"Well, we have already been there."

Lily smiled. "And? It's a couple days on a vacation away from here. We can bond all we want alone."

Severus nodded and shrugged. "Okay. You win. A vacation with the two of us alone sounds like a great idea."

Lily sighed. "I'm thinking of a small wedding. Maybe just you, me, Harry and a witness."

"Sounds great to me."

"Something low key so we won't make any news."

"Agreed."

Lily put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently. "I still would like to wear a simple gown though."

"So you expect me to wear some nice dress robes?"

She patted his shoulder gently. "Absolutely."

Severus heaved a sigh and patted her leg. "I need to get back to school and stock my potions before I start my night rounds. I did not plan to stay an extra hour." He turned to face her and gave a slight grin. "Not that I'm complaining. I am very, very glad I stayed the extra hour."

She sighed. "I wish you could stay. We could go again if you want."

"Are you bribing me to keep me here?"

Lily smirked. "Maybe?"

He sighed. "I wish I could, but if I don't get back soon they will blast me into the forest with the beasts. It's my night to watch the corridors so I have to go. I'll be back to my nights with you next week." He kissed her forehead as they got to their feet. "I love you, Lily."

"I love you too." They kissed lips before departing. She watched him leave. He turned back once he was at the fireplace and smiled at her happily.

She smiled back and gave a content sigh. Lily went back to the first shelf and grabbed the first potion on the top shelf where she always put her potion. Severus was the only one in the room ever besides her and they both knew where the important potions were. She drank a tablespoon of it and put it back on the shelf and noticed something odd about it. The potion had a slight nutty flavour. She cringed in horror and looked at the label closer. That was not the contraceptive potion. It was the headache potion. She gulped and looked through the bottles almost in a panic. Why was her potion not at the top at the end like usual? She began to frantically look through the potions he had and could not find it. As she was about to have a small breakdown, she saw a broken piece of glass under the shelf where her potion was supposed to be. She had a bad feeling about that. She shined her light from her wand under the shelving and saw a broken flask. Lily grabbed some large pieces of the broken bottle and saw a rippled label. She swallowed hard. Her potion was gone. She did not have any other potion to take. She started to panic.

"I never should have knocked his wand away. What was I thinking?" She needed to relax. It was not a big deal. So she they didn't use anything to protect themselves once. It didn't mean anything and if it did, they would be okay. They could handle it. The only bad thing was the fact that she was still in the middle of training and being pregnant would be a bad thing. Besides, it wasn't the first time they did not use anything. Severus's spell had given out once and she had not had any potion on hand and nothing happened. She could only hope that nothing would happen this time either. Sure, she wanted a baby, but not right now.

Lily left the lab and looked around the empty house. She did not like it. It made her uncomfortable, like how it was when she lived alone when she and James had separated and when he would leave her to go off with his friends before she got pregnant with Harry. Normally she had Harry here and even when he was asleep she knew he was here. Not having him here for the night was going to be rough. She didn't like being completely alone.

She sighed and decided to get her mind off of being alone and them not doing anything to prevent her from becoming pregnant. She turned on the telly and sat on the couch. She flipped through the channels and caught the start of a movie. Lily looked at her ring and felt goose bumps run up her arm. She was engaged. She and Severus were getting married. She laid down and went back and forth between watching the movie and looking at the ring Severus got her and thinking about her life with him forever.

Lily woke up to the sun attempting to peer through her curtains. She heard someone talking and turned to see the TV still on. She realized she was in the living room. She must have dozed off. Lily got up and switched off the set. She decided to go upstairs and take a shower before the guys brought Harry home.

_**A/N:**__ Argus is two things: In Greek Mythology-a monster with a hundred eyes who guarded over Zeus's lover, Io by the jealous Hera and later killed. It's also a watchful person. Argus-eye means to be vigilant and here it's used for Severus so that while he is at home with Lily, he will still be made aware if someone comes to his quarters or office when he's not there. As if he has 100 eyes. Just for reference. As I have said-I'm a mythology and history buff-I am a nerd so I use my knowledge even for fanfiction. _


	46. Chapter 46: A Bun in the Oven

_Thanks **Cara-tanaka, TOWTLS, TheAngelofIego, Phoenix1592, Ujemaima, KraziiePyrozHavemoreFun, White Butterfly, Narutonarutolove** and **BlooDsucKkeR69** for the reviews. _

_A/N: As a writer I don't expect everyone to like everything I write. Remember that I am not obligated to change a scene because you wanted something different. If you uncomfortable with a brief scene (and it was brief) about them making out (they are not actually doing the deed for pete's sake) then fine. I make notes so that if someone doesn't want to read those scenes they don't have to read them. Bosom means the chest of woman OR man. The dated term referred to female breasts. Grope means to feel blindly. Could be sexual, but that wasn't my intention. It just meant he felt her chest carelessly, like when you go into a dark room-you grope for the light switch. You feel around blindly. The groin in the area between the thighs and abdomen, that's it. Could mean the sexual organs, but I did not specify that was where her hands were. I didn't care about emotion because it was unimportant for the scene and really, here's the emotion. "Severus: Lift your skirt and have your way with me already. Lily: I want you. Just screw me hard." Not everyone has sexual intercourse for emotional reasons all the time. Why do you think there is a baby boom after natural disasters? It's not because couples are feeling overly emotional: It's because they have nothing better to do. That was sort of how it was here. They are young, horny, alone in their house with their significant other and were probably just bored. It happens. _

_The law of inverse fertility states:_ _**The fertility of a couple is inversely proportional to their desire to have a child**__. This means that couples who want a child can't get pregnant and couples who don't want a baby get pregnant. So, it could work here._

_As for potions/spells-Lily's potion was like the morning-after of today since she takes it after the fact. Now, there are certainly herbs and things that in the real world have been used to force menstruation and/or cause miscarriage (today we'd call it abortion if she was far enough to know she was pregnant) but they are not very safe and less than 50% effective. At that point, she may not have conceived yet anyway, but then again, she might as it can take minutes to hours (usually hours) to maybe days (five days max depending in the fertile environment) and it takes another week for implantation to occur. Really though, I don't think Lily is that adamant to stop anything. Every time a couple sleeps together doesn't mean they will have a baby, but if they are both fertile and the woman is ovulating at that time-conception is quite probable. Sorry for the long note, but I hope that cleared up any concerns anyone had about Lily and the law and the wording. _

**Chapter 46: A Bun in the Oven**

_16 November, 1983_

Lily woke up and looked over to her empty bed. Severus has slept in his bed last night since she had gone to bed early, feeling fatigued. The past few days she had not been feeling that well, feeling more tired than usual. She looked over at her clock and realized she had been asleep for more almost ten hours, but she was still tired. Maybe she had too much sleep. She could hear Harry up so she knew she needed to get up.

She made her bed and opened the curtains in the dark room. It was raining, which meant Harry would be inside all day and would need to be kept entertained. She got herself dressed. At least she didn't have training today because her instructor was out of town. The thought of doing any training was exhausting enough, let alone actually doing it.

Upon coming out of the bathroom, Lily saw a sock on the floor of Severus's doorway. He was already up and was likely downstairs grabbing a bite to eat before going to work. She snatched up the sock in annoyance. This was the second time in a week she had picked up a damn sock of his. For some reason that she did not understand, her blood boiled and she felt a sudden surge of anger wash over her. She couldn't take it and went downstairs as Severus came into the living room.

Severus saw her holding his sock and looking really angry. He knew something was wrong and it was probably something he did, but what that had to do with his sock, he did not have any idea. "What'd I do?"

"This-this." She shoved the sock toward his face. "The second time I've picked up a sock you dropped in a week!"

Severus let out a sigh of relief. She was mad over him dropping a sock. While petty things did annoy her occasionally, usually only when she was stressed out or it was the wrong time of the month, she looked completely livid, which confused him. Normally she would just get frustrated, not be completely ticked off at him. "I'm sorry. I must have missed it."

"Well, maybe you should check from now on!" She shouted, thrusting the sock toward him again, waving it around in exasperation, but not letting go of it.

"Okay, fine, I'll double check when I'm gathering my stuff for laundry from now on."

She huffed in aggravation. "No, you know what. I'm done. I can't take it!"

Severus felt completely confused. "It's just a sock."

She did not know why she was so angry, she just was. "I'm so damn tired of picking up after other people!"

"You don't have to pick up after me. You never have."

"Forget it! You never listen!" She pressed her hand to her temple, feeling a headache coming on again. She was too tired and did not feel all that well.

Severus was confused. "Why are getting so mad over nothing? I dropped a sock on accident."

"It's not nothing!" She snapped. "I'm tired and don't want to clean up after you! I'm not your damn maid!"

"You aren't my maid. I was putting the laundry in the hamper. I missed a sock."

Lily wanted to yell, but stopped herself. "One sock leads to two, then three then you will stop giving a care at all and leave me to do all the laundry! Can't you be a little helpful and pick up your clothes? Can't you do that one thing for me, can't you?"

Severus was not sure what to say to that. She was almost emotional, close to tears. "What's today? I mean the day?"

"November 16, why?"

"So it's around the middle of the month?"

Lily felt ready to explode. She knew what he was saying. "Don't you dare-don't you dare!"

Severus wouldn't dare say it, but he'd lived with her for the past two years and he knew that when it was that time, she did get moody. Though this more than what he had gotten used to, but it certainly could be related. Maybe her hormones were more out of control this month for some reason. "I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking it." She looked at his expression and wanted to throttle him. "It's not funny."

He didn't know what was making her so mad and he wasn't even smiling. "I'm not laughing."

"I am not moody!"

"Well, you are a little-grumpy." He knew he shouldn't have said that even if it was true.

"You know what, just go! Get out of my sight!" She snapped without thinking.

He was a bit shocked at that. "Okay. I need to go work anyway." He paused. "I will see you tonight."

She saw him looking a little stunned and suddenly found herself in tears. "I didn't mean that. I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry. Please don't leave!"

He turned back to her. "_What the hell?"_ He thought. She was yelling at him, telling to get out of her sight and suddenly turned around, ready to cry with an apology? Even if it was her time of the month, he had never seen her so, dare he think it, unstable. She would get a little moody, but it wasn't intolerable. This was odd.

She burst into tears. Severus took her in his arms. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry." Lily could barely get out the words to apologize through her sobs.

"It's fine. It's okay. I'm not mad." He gently rubbed her back.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry. Maybe I need to go back to bed."

"You look tired. Why don't you see if Remus or our neighbours can watch Harry and go take a nap?"

Lily sniffed. "Remus can't. I don't want to dump Harry on someone."

"Well, if you're that tired, you should ask. If Gertrude isn't busy, I'm sure she would love to take Harry for a couple hours. Just tell her you are exhausted-she'll understand."

"I am very tired. I have been really tired the past couple of days and I don't know why."

"Are you sleeping well?"

"Yes. I just don't feel right."

"You have a headache again?"

She nodded. "A little one."

"Anything else? Fever?"

"No." She paused as a thought came to her mind about what could be wrong, but she did not know if she should mention it to him yet.

"Maybe you should see a doctor?"

"And say what? I'm tired and grumpy? I think I'm just stressed."

"Over what? Is training stressing you out?"

"Everything is stressing me out."

"Just relax. There's nothing to stress about it. We get all our bills paid and have enough. I know my salary is not a lot, but it's enough to get by."

"I know. It's just-I don't know. I'm just worn out."

Severus pushed some of her hair out of her face. "Don't wear yourself out."

"I just have so much to do."

"Do what you can and if it's not important, then don't bother with it."

"What isn't important? I have to keep up with everything!" She pointed to the hamper full of clothes. "I need to wash our clothes and clean the dishes and I need to clean the floors and the bathrooms and-"

He moved her head back to face him gently. "Well, don't bother with anything non-vital. Laundry can wait. We still have clean clothes. Dishes can wait as long as they don't pile up. Don't worry about anything. Just go find someone to watch Harry for awhile and go take a nice, long nap. If you still not feeling well and are exhausted, I will do the clothes and dishes and clean up the bathroom tonight, okay?"

Lily sniffed as she laid against him. She shut her eyes while he rubbed her back. She gave a nod. "Okay. I'll ask and try to rest. I might just be coming down with something-a cold or something."

"Maybe." He was not sure about that, but he didn't know what was wrong. A thought crossed his mind, but he was not sure if he should mention it right now. He didn't really want to put the thought in her head right now.

He didn't want to let go of her, but he had to go before he was late. "I need to go before I miss the first class."

Lily sighed and looked up at him. "Yeah-right. You better get going."

"I love you." He kissed her forehead. "Get some rest."

"I will. Love you too."

"We can talk more later-tonight, okay?"

She nodded and watched him go. She sniffed and folded her arms across her chest before going into the kitchen, where Harry was finishing breakfast. Severus had fed him for her. She'd have to thank him when he got back tonight.

Lily thought about her conversation with him. It was supposed to be her time of the month. The stress was getting to her. She was losing it. It had to be the stress. Another thought about what could be wrong crossed her mind and she knew it was certainly possible, but she tried to push any idea of it out of her mind. It would be too early to know anyway.

As she thought about calling their neighbours next door, the phone rang. She answered it. "Hello...Oh, yes, Ruth, how are you...I'm fine" Lily paused. She was not fine, but it was a rather standard response. "Oh, um-I forgot...this afternoon?" Lily huffed and put her hand to her forehead. "Well, actually, I'm not-I'm not feeling very well. I've been really tired...Harry? He's fine...No, I don't know. I've just been feeling tired and have a headache...I'm sure Harry would love to come over and it would give me time to rest this afternoon...uh-huh...okay, I'll drop him off around one then after lunch...I appreciate it...thanks...okay, bye." She hung up the phone and turned to Harry.

"Would you like to go over and play with William this afternoon?"

Harry perked up. "Yeah!"

"You are going over to his house after lunch." She huffed lightly. "I think I will work on the bathrooms."

_That afternoon_

Harry put on his shoes and Lily was half listening to him talk, her mind clouded with other thoughts. She helped him zip up his jacket.

"Come on. Let's go." She put up an umbrella and walked Harry down the road. "Thanks for watching him, Ruth."

"It's not a problem. You sure you don't want to stay?"

"No. I need some rest."

"Are you all right?" Ruth asked, looking at her with concern.

"I'm fine. Just tired. I have a headache." Lily unconsciously rubbed her lower back as she felt a dull ache.

"You're rubbing your back?"

Lily paused. "My back's been a little sore. Overdoing it, I guess." She was looking at her oddly and Lily didn't like it. "I'm fine, really."

"You sure?"

Lily huffed softly. She knew Ruth wasn't being nosey, just concerned. "I will be fine. I've just been really tired. I think I'm just overdoing at work, that's all."

"So things are okay?"

Lily had a feeling she was implying she might be having problems with her significant other. "Oh, um, my relationship is fine-great actually-nothing like that."

"That's good. I was beginning to wonder if you might be-with child?"

Lily felt her throat go dry. So that's what she was thinking, but what could she tell her? She knew she could trust the woman to not tell anyone else. She was not the gossiping type. "I don't know." Lily said, honestly.

Ruth's eyes grew wide. "You think-you think you might be expecting?"

"I'm not sure. I think I might be." She said softly.

"Are you not happy?"

"Well, we weren't exactly-we weren't planning on-"

"Having another one?" She finished for her.

"No. We did, but not for awhile. It's just not the best time."

Ruth grabbed Lily's hand and gave it a squeeze. "It'll be okay." Lily smiled and then Ruth looked at her hand. "So, you finally got a new engagement ring?"

Lily looked at her hand and smiled. "Yes. He got me a new one finally."

"Hasn't bought a new wedding band though?"

"Not yet. We're thinking maybe for Christmas. They aren't cheap." Lily had lied to her neighbours when they asked about why she didn't have any rings saying she had lost weight after an illness and they slipped off her hand in the shower and down the drain. She said she would get new ones eventually. Of course, when they first moved here she did not plan on staying and certainly hadn't planned on having a romantic relationship with Severus and did not see that she would end up marrying him. If she hadn't begun to fall for him by the time they were discovered, she would have left, but that changed and she was glad it did. She was happy with her life except now she was concerned about possibly being pregnant.

"No, they aren't." She put her hand on Lily's shoulder. "You'll be okay, if you are pregnant."

Lily swallowed. "I can trust you to keep this a secret?"

"Of course. You don't know if you are."

"I really think I might be-pregnant. I feel like the other two times-I mean the last time." Lily realized quickly that she slipped up.

Ruth raised her eyebrow. "You lost a pregnancy?"

Lily nodded. "My first. Before I had Harry."

"It's hard. I lost two of mine as well. Between Sarah and William."

Lily gave a small smile.

"It's a little scary going through it again when you've had one, but you'll be okay."

Lily sighed and Ruth gave her a hug. "I know." Lily appreciated the hug. "Things will be fine. Just unexpected-not planned."

Ruth patted her shoulder. "You go rest, okay? Let me know if you need anything at all. We'll be happy to help you."

"Thanks. Really." Lily let out a breath as she turned to leave. "Bye, Harry. I love you. You be good." She left and went back home. She went up to her bed and took a nap.

Severus came home that evening and entered the kitchen. Harry saw him. Severus put a finger to his lips. Harry got quiet. Severus snuck up behind Lily and grabbed her around the waist as she stared out of the kitchen window. She gasped in surprise and turned to see him.

Lily took a couple deep breaths and put her hand to her heart. "Sev? You gave me a fright. Don't do that."

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the slight unease in her voice.

Lily looked over at Harry was scribbling with a pencil. "Harry, can you go in the living room?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to talk to Severus alone, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because we have some private things to say that aren't for your ears to hear."

"Sounds boring."

"It is, but we need to talk anyway."

Harry huffed. "Okay." He then perked up. "I can play with my snake and my dragon."

"That's a great idea." Harry went into the living room and Lily muffled them.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "You aren't mad at me over something else, are you?"

Lily shook her head. "Remember that night when we didn't end up using anything and we hoped all would be okay?"

"Yes." He had an uneasy feeling now.

"Well, it's not. I think I'm-I have a feeling that-We are-I'm-I think I might be-pregnant."

Severus was certain he had to have heard wrong. "You-you're-you're pregnant-as in having a baby-pregnant."

"What other kind of pregnant is there?"

"Full of something, creative, productive kind?" He joked, but she didn't seem to get it.

"I think I am pregnant-the bun in the oven style pregnant where we end up with a child."

Severus let out a heavy breath and ran his hand through his hair. "You're sure?"

"No. I haven't done anything to confirm it yet. I just really have a strong feeling about it. I don't feel right. I am just having familiar symptoms like before and we need to start thinking about the fact that I might be and what we are going to do about it."

"So are you going to confirm it or prove it wrong?"

Lily shook her head in confusion. "What?"

"Are you going to figure out if you are for sure-pregnant?"

"In a couple days if my cycle doesn't show, but I've been," She moved her voice to a whisper. "Spotting a little."

"So that means your cycle is coming?"

"No, it probably means what you don't want to hear-that I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"When you get pregnant, sometimes you spot, but it's not the cycle-it's proof of implantation. My other symptoms, being tired all the time and the headaches and backaches-I just have a strong feeling that I could be. I just know. I can't explain why."

"Lily, it's not that I don't want to hear it-it's just-we didn't plan on-we'd hoped that we wouldn't have one yet. Forgive me for being a bit shell-shocked."

"We had a worry before that turned into nothing. This time-we weren't so lucky." Lily looked at him.

"It'll be fine no matter what, right?"

"Right. We're okay. We are engaged, aren't we? Things are wonderful between us right now. We'll be fine."

Severus noticed she seemed a little worried. He kissed her forehead. "We will be fine. Nothing to worry about."

Lily sighed. "Let's not discuss it anymore until I know for sure. Dinner is ready anyway."

"Did you do any chores?"

"I did the dishes and the bathrooms-up and down-both of them. I didn't do the laundry."

"I will do that for you."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

_Two Days Later_

Lily did not say a word to Severus and used her newly brewed potion to test for pregnancy. She wanted it to be negative, to tell her that it was just a false alarm, but as the potion changed colour, she knew. As it turned to pale green, she let out a huff. It surprised her, but yet, it didn't really. She knew her body and knew since she had been pregnant twice before that she was most likely pregnant.

A mix of emotions hit her then. She felt upset, angry, frustrated, aggravated and yet she found herself smiling. She felt a bit excited, nervous, concerned, troubled and thrilled all at once. She had wanted another baby, but she did not plan on having one any time soon. She should have double checked that her potion was still there. It just hadn't occurred to her that anything would have happened to it. She had one bottle of it upstairs, but she had used it up a couple weeks before and since she had some downstairs if she needed it, she hadn't bothered to make anymore. Now she regretted not making more, but yet, she didn't regret it. The thought of having a baby again was not unpleasant. She was actually kind of happy at the thought of having another child. It would be nice for Harry to have a sibling to play with and to have a baby again in the house.

Severus knocked on the bathroom door. "Lily? Are you okay?"

She felt a slight pang of fear. "Fine." She spoke unconvincingly. She thought about the last two pregnancies she had and they were not exactly a walk in the park and the thought of being ill and having swollen breasts and feet and cramps and all the other unpleasant things that came with it did not thrill her one bit.

He opened the door. "What's wrong?"

She sighed. "It's all my fault."

"What is?"

Lily pointed to her potion. "I'm pregnant."

Severus swallowed hard as the realization hit him. "You actually are expecting."

Lily nodded. "It's not wrong. I did it right. I brewed it right. It's about 99% accurate."

Severus huffed. "What are we going to do?"

She looked at him with frustration. "What do you mean?"

"We're-you and I are going to-we're having a child." He said slowly, unsure whether to scream or panic. He knew there was a chance and knew it could happen and knew she did eventually want one, but he never really thought about what would happen if she actually got pregnant. It had been on his mind a lot the last two days since she thought she might be expecting, but now the full impact of that reality was hitting him. They were going to have a child. Before it was always a distant thought-eventually they would have one, some day in the future, but that was no longer a distant thought. It was happening now.

"Yep." She said. "We are." She let out a heavy sigh. "I need to, um-I need to call Healer Bender. He was the one who delivered Harry and who helped with my miscarriage the first time-and I know it sounds silly, but that scares me."

He looked at her. "I'm sure you will okay."

"I know, but since I had one before, I worry about it happening again. I've been trying to eat well and stuff so it won't-"

"Lily, you aren't blaming yourself for losing your first pregnancy-that stuff happens."

"I know, but it's hard to not blame myself, even now. I know it was chromosome thing, but I still felt like I caused it somehow." She sighed. "They will probably ask me to come in here in a couple weeks."

"How many weeks are you? Two?"

"Four. It goes by the first day of your last menstrual cycle, not when you conceived, but it tells me that too. The same evening we didn't bother to use any protection." She smirked. "And you are the father."

Severus half rolled his eyes. "Ha ha."

Lily let a little sigh. "So, we're going to have to start making some changes."

"What's the rush? You have nine months left-or thereabouts."

"About eight and a half. I'm due July 27."

"At least I will be home then."

Lily smiled. "You will be. That's a good thing. I just meant-my job for one-I'll have to go easy with training. And I'll probably need you to help more."

He wrapped his arms around her. "Okay."

"If it's anything like before-I had a hard time cooking because the smells make me sick."

"I thought you had a house elf."

"We did, but I used to like to fix my own foods sometimes. Certain foods though-I couldn't stand-I could not eat fish, look at it or even smell it. I had a craving for spicy things the first time and savoury with Harry."

"Well, if you need me to cook, I will."

"Here when I go to the doctor, I can find out the gender."

"But you're barely pregnant?"

"They test the zygote and see if anything is off and I guess the spell also gives the gender, but I don't want to know yet."

"Fine by me."

She sighed. "We are going to have a baby. We're having a baby." She felt herself smiling and touched her abdomen. She didn't feel upset anymore.

Severus put his hand over hers on her stomach. "It looks like we are." He wasn't quite sure how to process the reality or how he should feel yet, but whatever he felt didn't matter. Whether he liked it or not, they were having a baby and he would have to get used to the fact.

_**A/N:**__ Before anyone comes here and writes that Lily was just so mean, remember that she is pregnant and the hormones in her body have changed. Classes start up again on Tuesday so I am taking a little break until I find the time to work on this story again. Thanks for all your reviews so far. As I said, you are welcome to pm me any time and I will respond when I can. Stay warm and stay well. Those in the southern hemisphere-enjoy your summer. _

_Chara is the name of a north star within the hunting dogs constellation. Chara is also a term for a genus of algae. Talitha is one of three stars on the front paw of Great Bear Star. Talitha also means little girl in Aramaic. Talitha Cumi means "little girl arise" and were the words of Jesus of Nazareth to bring a girl on the brink of death back to life. It also means "third leap of the gazelle."_


	47. 47: Chapel Bells and Honeymoon Tales

_*Forget the thanks list* Thanks to **Phoenix1592, 8thweasleykid, Cara-tanaka, IllbeyourALWAYS, KraZiiePyrozHavemorefun, BlooSsucKker69, Narutonarutolove, Ranma's girl1, Gyoro and Ururun, Ujemaima, Raven Lockwood, MarissaRosee, TOWTLS, Jordina, Sab756, Prefrontal Cortex, 93 Diagon Alley** and **Killer Rabbit** for the reviews. _

_A/N: Got this finished a bit earlier than I originally thought because I have been rather ill lately. And before anyone asks, I am not better and probably won't be for awhile. I have something wrong with my trachea, but I'm not sure what and will likely require surgery. But if it helps me breathe better and makes me able to eat real food again, I'd say it's worth it. If that's case, I may have time to work on this story more since I will be out of work and school for a week or two. Joy. Not sure when I will get another update done though and not asking for any sympathy, just making a statement for why I may suddenly update more than perviously thought. Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing well and is staying well and I wish you luck with school/classes/work. _

_*An intimate scene at the end-It's not detailed or anything and it's brief, but suggestive and obvious. I warned. _

**Chapter 47: Chapel Bells and Honeymoon Tales**

_A week later_

Lily took a deep breath and looked at Severus, who was sitting on the chair across from the couch. It was his favourite place to sit in the living room. "I don't know about this, Sev."

Severus looked up from the newspaper. "It's your idea, Lily."

"I know." She looked at him and bit her lower lip. "I had a shotgun wedding before. I just don't-"

"We were already engaged, Lily. It was already in the plan. It's just earlier than we planned, that's all."

"I know, but-people will guess why we are marrying again. You know they will know what we did-"

Severus scoffed. "I don't give a shit if anyone knows. Let them think what they want."

Lily huffed in frustration. "You aren't listening to me."

"I am listening, but you aren't hearing me. It doesn't matter. We don't have to rush anything."

Lily stood up from her chair. "Easy for you to say. You aren't the one who is going to be visibly knocked up. I'm the one who will have the ever-expanding waistline that tells everyone that I have been sleeping with someone." She placed her hand on her abdomen .

"Why does that bother you so much? You won't show for a bit anyway." He watched her bit her lower lip again. "People do that all the time. I bet there are several people across the globe banging their significant other-married or not right this moment. Why does it upset you to think someone knows what you have been doing with me? Is it the fact that I'm the one you've been sleeping with that bothers you?"

Lily looked at him with shock. "No, of course not. I like you-love you. I want to do that with you."

"Then what bothers you?"

"I don't like others knowing what I am doing in private."

"I think they can guess without trying because they have done it too and unless asexual , those who haven't want to-hell, before we did anything, I wanted to know what it was like too. I thought about it even before we got together. I wondered what a night with you would be like."

Lily gave a little grin at that and looked over at the picture of Harry throwing a ball when he was two. "It shouldn't bother me, but it does. I have a son and that's proof I've done it before, but I guess, even with Harry-I just hated the questions about it. I just like that aspect to be private. I don't want to share those details."

"Then you don't have to. I don't want others to know what we are doing in the privacy of our home with each other either. What you and I have isn't anyone else's business. Yes, you being pregnant does make it obvious that we've been doing that to each other, but beyond that-anything about it isn't anyone business. No one will ask anyway." Severus looked over some of the papers for their travel.

"They always question rushed weddings."

"We only have one witness and no one else knows we are getting married. I will have to tell the Headmaster though so he can arrange my schedule if you want to get hitched and get away for a few days."

"I know. It's just moving up the date, but still, it just seems so rushed."

Severus put the paper down. "Well, it kind of is since you are trying to cover the fact that you are five weeks pregnant." Severus looked over at her. "It's not a big deal. So what if we-well, you since I'm not the one pregnant became with child a little beforehand. We were already planning on getting married."

"People will find out. I mean when Sirius asks if we want a swig of alcohol and I have to refuse, he will know."

"I don't give a flip if he finds out and I don't care what he has to say about it. It's not his damn business. It's our concern, our business."

Lily looked down at her hands.

"He knew you got pregnant before you and Potter married, didn't he?"

Lily nodded.

"If he was a jerk before, remember he has a six week old baby from a drunken nearly one night stand."

"True. I got pregnant the day we got engaged."

"That's not so bad." He looked over a sheet. "You are thinking the Cayman Islands?"

"I thought somewhere warm would be nice." She smiled at him. "Before, we went to Iceland. It was summer though so the weather was nice. His family had a place there so we stayed there. It's nearly winter and I always wanted to go somewhere warm this time-tropical."

"Clear down to the Caribbean?"

"Well, it's a British territory so we just need our port passes when we apparate in."

"We have enough money for a couple days of hotel fare."

"Yes." Lily sighed and touched her stomach as she sat back down. "Sev?"

He looked up. "What?"

"Do you want this baby?"

"Do I have choice?" He tried to feign a little smile to show he wasn't really serious.

Lily looked down at her stomach. "No." She sighed and glanced up at him again. "You just don't seem very-happy-excited about it."

He wasn't sure what to say. "It's just not hit me yet. I don't have a potential child growing inside of me though."

She shook her head. "No, that's not it. I just get the feeling you aren't happy about this and-I don't know-I worry how it will turn out."

"I just don't know how I feel about it. I'm not around children other than Harry. I'm just not the fatherly type."

"But you are great with Harry. You play with him and he adores you." She smiled.

He stopped a sly grin from forming on his face. He did like that the child of his schoolyard bully growing up was fond of him. In a way, he felt like it was a bit of revenge, at least on Black that Harry was so attached to him. He had gotten used to the kid being around and it was odd when he wasn't. He would never admit to anyone except Lily that he did like the kid and had grown attached to him too.

"With us getting married, that will make Harry your stepson, you know?"

"I know."

"You are okay with that, aren't you? If you aren't, I don't think-"

"I assure you that it will be fine." He interrupted. "The kid may as well mine anyway."

Lily smiled. "You know, you are going to be the only father Harry will know. He won't remember James sadly. I mean, he'll know that you aren't his biological father, but he won't know anyone else that way. Just you."

Severus hadn't really thought much about that, but Lily was right. Harry would only ever remember him. He wouldn't know James nor would he have any memory of James as a father. That didn't bother him though. "That's fine. I am aware of that."

Lily let out a sigh of relief. She knew Severus liked Harry and was good with him, though sometimes stricter than she would have been, but that was just his personality. She knew he would be a bit strict, but not controlling with the new baby too. Severus wasn't controlling, but he didn't let anyone control him. He was very adamant to not be controlled having been a spy for both Voldemort and Dumbledore. He hated being a pawn and jerked around and wouldn't take crap from anyone. That was one thing she liked about him. He was dour and harsh at times, but he was loving and gentle as well, if only privately to her and Harry. He was the most controlled person she ever knew when it came to life and emotions though sometimes she wished he would let his guard down more. He was far happier than she remembered and she figured that was because he had a life he never had before.

"Well, it will be life changing-us having a baby in about eight months."

"Oh, I'm sure it will be."

"You are going to help me, won't you?"

"Don't I always help with everything needed? A baby would be no different, would it?"

She shrugged slightly. "Well, it's a lot of work. I mean, they need to be fed every couple of hours into the night. We won't get much sleep."

"I never do anyway."

"You always seem to sleep fine to me."

He shook his head. "I wake up a lot in the night. Too much on my mind."

"Like what?"

He sighed. "I just never have been a heavy sleeper. Comes with the territory of being a Slytherin, being bullied, being a Death Eater and being a spy-always alert and prepared."

"No one will attack you here."

"You never know. The Dark Lord showed up once and unless they oblivated the memories of Pettigrew and Lestrange really well, they could find us again. You just never know."

"I wouldn't worry."

"I'm not-I am just-how does Moody put it? Constantly vigilant."

Lily sighed. "We'll be okay if we have a baby."

He raised an eyebrow. "If? We already are."

She shrugged. "Well, you know, I could-lose it."

"Don't talk like that. You'll get yourself worked up. You had one miscarriage. It doesn't mean it will happen again, Lily."

"It might."

"Then we can always try again." He wasn't sure if he wanted that, but if she lost the pregnancy and wanted to try again, he wouldn't be opposed to helping her have one if it was planned.

"I don't know. It took me a full year before I was ready to try again last time. That and the fact that we were on rocky terms after the miscarriage."

He huffed slightly. "I am not going to leave or be happy or force you to try again if you lose the baby."

"I know, it's just"

"It will be okay. I wouldn't worry too much. You seem fine so far."

"I was almost 12 weeks when I lost the first one. I'm only five now."

"You had a miscarriage and then you had Harry. Stressing yourself out won't help."

She looked at him and nodded. "I know and I'm not, but it's on my mind and probably always will be." She laughed. "I'll never stop worrying about Harry and I won't ever stop worrying about something happening to our coming baby."

"Well, it's not even a baby yet so just take it easy and let the thing cook and do what it does naturally. You are eating well, taking the vitamin potion and taking care of yourself so if something happens it's something to do with the foetus, not you."

"Zygote. It's just a zygote right now. At about 10 weeks it's called a foetus."

"When do you call it a baby?"

"Medically? At birth."

"Oh." He looked at her. "When do you want to tell Harry?"

"Probably when I start getting sick and having other issues and he wonders why. I will sit him down and tell me that he is going to have a baby brother or sister."

"I hope he'll be okay with that."

"Well, if you aren't okay with it then how can I expect him to be?"

Severus got up from his chair and sat beside of her. "I never said I wasn't okay with it. I am. I just have to get used to the idea that I am going to be a father, that's all."

"And Harry will have to get used to the idea that he won't be the only child anymore."

He kissed her forehead. "I just need the reality to sink in. I'm not jealous of it like Harry may be."

She looked up at him and smiled. "Yet-it's amazing though."

"What is?"

"How such a moment between us brings forth new life. That our love for each other created a new person."

He felt a little bit a smile twitch at his lips, but he didn't move them. "I guess it does-did" He hadn't really thought about it before.

"I'm kind of excited about us going away, but I'll miss Harry."

"He'll be well cared for and have all sorts of fun. You don't need to worry."

"Oh, I know. They'll take good care of him. They always do. I hate that Remus can't, but the full moon and all. And Sirius-he needs to focus on his fiancée and child and not on Harry." She rubbed Severus's thigh.

He pushed her hair back out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "You want to finish the wedding plans tonight or do you want to go on to bed and finish them tomorrow."

"Let's do it tomorrow. I'm exhausted." She got up from the couch and he followed her up the stairs, shutting off the lights.

_30 November 1983_

"Where are we going?" Harry asked. "To get married?"

"Yes." Lily said, pushing him up on her hip. "Severus and I are getting married."

"Where did he go?"

"Severus? He's at the chapel already."

They entered the building and she sighed happily. It was a beautiful day outside, though quite chilly and it perked up the mood of the day. The sun was even out.

She put Harry down.

"Are we going inside yet?"

Lily shook her head. "Not yet. When the doors open, we will enter the room."

"We have to stay here."

"Yep, but not for very long."

They waited about a minute when they opened. "Come on." She took Harry's hand and they went inside the room.

Severus had entered the room before Lily arrived. He hadn't seen her since yesterday and was feeling nervous, which he would never admit to feeling, ever. He had never been to a wedding before so he wasn't sure how it worked. There were various items placed out like a dish of good soil, candles, a wand, a chalice of water and some crystals and gemstones.

"When we open the doors, she will walk in and you will stand beside her while I give the rituals. After that you will exchange rings and take her hands and give your vows. You will exchange cords and I will give the chant and you will speak back to me what I say. You will jump over the broom and I will pronounce you husband and wife and you will partake in food and beverage and go off on your stay."

Severus nodded and the doors opened. He turned and felt his heart beat faster at the sight of her. She was absolutely beautiful in the gown. He never imagined this day would come and that he, Severus Snape, would be in dress robes and marrying the girl he'd always loved. They were going to be married in a few minutes and he would not be Lily's boyfriend anymore, but her husband.

Lily saw Severus turn and felt her breath catch. He looked very distinguished and rather attractive at the moment. She was going to be remarried in a few minutes and was once again going to be a wife to someone else. Three years ago, if someone had told her she would be here in a chapel marrying Severus Snape and expecting his child, she would have told them they were crazy. Yet, there was nothing that could make her happier than that reality.

"What are you looking at?" Harry whispered.

"Hopefully my happy ending-beginning-my new beginning." She said and glanced at Harry, who looked confused. She brushed his mop of black hair back with her hand. "This is definitely the right thing to do."

She met Severus at the altar and they started the ceremony and the rituals. They threw salt out, exchanged the soil, lit the candles together and had water sprinkled on them. Severus and Lily gave gifts of stone for love, protection and passion to one another.

Severus slid her ring on her finger in the end and she slid his on his finger. He took her hands into his own and they gave their vows to each other. They listened to the man chanting some words, shared cords and spoke back what he asked.

"Once you jump your broom, you are officially married." The man said.

Severus took Lily's hand again and they jumped over the broom.

"There you have it. I pronounce you husband and wife. Now go enjoy yourselves for a few days."

Lily smiled at Severus. "Thanks." She said as she turned to the man. He gave a nod and she turned to Harry. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"Home. Then we are taking you next door where you will stay with Charlie and Gertie for a couple days."

"Why?"

"Because we leaving."

"Where are you going?"

"On a holiday." Severus said as they left the chapel.

"Why can't I go?"

"Because it's for grown-ups only." Severus said. "You get to play with the rabbits and snakes all you want though."

Lily cringed slightly, still not used to the reality that her son could speak to snakes. They apparated home and gathered their things. They dropped Harry off.

"And you have the medicines I gave you and all and just turn that dial if you need us."

Gertrude patted Lily's shoulder reassuringly. "Everything will be fine, dear. You two go on and enjoy your conference."

"Come on, Lily. He'll be okay. We have to catch the portk-be at the port soon."

Lily was uneasy about leaving him, but she and Severus had to go away. Harry would be fine. She nodded and hurried out the door before she completely changed her mind.

"I've never been away from him for more than one night."

"They'll take good care of him. They raised four children themselves."

"I know. It's just hard."

He rubbed her shoulder. "You have the bags?"

"Yes." She nodded. "Let's go before I reject the whole idea of leaving this long."

"It's three days and three nights. To ourselves-no interruptions. The beach and warmth and spas and hikes and all the time we want to lounge around for three days.

She grinned. "That does sound nice, doesn't it?"

"That's it. Don't worry, we will come back and have Harry interrupting our nights again in just a few days."

She smiled and nodded. "Okay-point made. Let's go have some fun."

They apparated to their portkey and went for their holiday.

_The next morning_

Severus poured some coffee and looked over at Lily, who was putting on a bathing suit. It was the first day of their new life together. He didn't see much changing except that they would share a bed every night now in the master bedroom at home.

She put on a skirt. "These muggle suits make me uncomfortable. I feel like I am wearing my underwear so I am wearing this skirt too."

"Well, I like that suit, but I'm your lover so that doesn't count."

Lily turned to him with a grin. "And that's fine. I should hope you enjoy the view, but I don't want other men looking at me inappropriately."

"They won't if they know what's good for them, but you're taken now anyway."

She sighed contently. "Absolutely." She got up from the couch. "Ready?"

"Yep. Then we come back and have more alone time?"

"Sure, but we are going on that hike later."

"We have lunch at noon, make love until three and then go hiking."

Lily liked that plan. "Sounds fine to me. Then we come back and change and go to dinner."

"Then we come back and I get to spend another lovely night with my wife."

Lily opened the door. "Let's go before the storm hits."

"What storm?"

"Watched the weather and it showed a storm was coming this way in about an hour or so."

Severus shut the door to their room. "Well, we'll enjoy the day as long as we can."

They went down to the beach and walked along the water. Severus liked the place. He had never seen the ocean until yesterday afternoon and the gentle rolling waves and seagulls and shells and beautiful, almost white sand were all new to him. Lily had never been to the Caribbean. The only beaches she'd ever been to were in Europe. It was much warmer here and more pristine. The water was clear, like glass and a shade of blue she had never encountered before.

"We have a lot to think about."

"About what?" Severus asked as they walked along the sand, the waves washing over their feet.

"The baby-things we need and what to do when."

"You still have eight months, what's the rush?"

"Not right now, but there are lots of things to consider. Crib, changing table, a rocking chair, bassinette, blankets and toys and bottles and nappies and clothes. Eventually we will we have to give it a name. I don't like calling our potential baby it."

"Why not? It's an easy name. If it's a girl, we can have her middle name be Isa. It Isa Snape."

Lily laughed. "Very funny. My sister used to watch this show on the telly that had a hairy monster named it so I don't like calling our womb child it."

"What about wombat?"

"Wombat?"

"It's an animal, not a monster. Womb-at, wombat."

Lily laughed and touched her stomach. "God help it if it's a girl-nicknaming her wombat."

They sat on a large rock. "I'm glad we could get out of the scuba diving deal. I can't really swim anyway. You being pregnant has its perks."

"Are you saying I am a problem?"

He shook his head. "No-I'm saying we got out of something I never wanted to do in the first place thanks to you being pregnant."

Lily had almost forgotten about the diving in the reefs. "I thought it might be fun, but I can't do it-such is life. We can still do the spa thing tonight."

Severus didn't really like the idea of going to spa. It seemed like a girl's day out sort of thing, but Lily wanted him to do it and it was part of deal with the hotel stay for a cheaper price. Lily being pregnant wasn't an excuse this time.

He smiled. "We've been talking for more than an hour. You want to go back to the room? The weather is looking rather ugly anyway."

She looked out at the water. "Sure. It looks like that storm must be about to hit."

They got up and walked back to the room.

_Two days later_

Lily brushed her wet hair in front of the bathroom mirror, humming softly to herself. Severus was in the shower.

"It was nice to enjoy a dinner out before I start puking."

"You aren't feeling well?" He asked.

Lily smiled. She guessed he couldn't hear her very well with the water running. "Oh, I'm fine. I just meant, being pregnant-I was always sick before-very sick. Going out is not possible lest I start vomiting. If it's anything like before, the smells alone will make me sick. I am happy to enjoy a night out before that starts happening."

"When do you think that will start?"

"Probably about next week and will end around the 14th week, if it's anything like when I was pregnant with Harry, that is."

"Sounds like fun. Better you than me."

"Gee, thanks."

"Actually, I'd rather it be me. I think it will be hard to watch you become sick."

Lily smiled to herself. "I'm going to bed. When you decide to come out, you can join me."

Severus turned off the water and she stopped a grin from coming on her lips. He came out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Lily touched his bare, damp arm. Her throat was dry and her heart was thumped hard in her chest at the sight of him. It would be the last night alone with him as a couple before they got back home.

"I don't care if you are wet. Just come to bed."

Severus raised an eyebrow and felt a smirk on his lips. He watched her remove her towel and turn her back to him. He felt his heart race in his chest and his body pulsate as he gazed at her bare backend leaving the bathroom. He ran the towel quickly over himself, tossed it on the floor and went to the bed where Lily was laying, waiting for him for one last night as a couple alone.

Lily could hear the waves crashing gently onto the shore as laid underneath of him. The closed shades to their door to the balcony moved under the radiator. She couldn't believe that she was still comfortable with being unclothed like this with him making love to her. Despite the unease still, she knew it was silly. She had nothing to worry about. Being pregnant made her worry, just like before, but Severus would not think of less of her for swelling and gaining weight. James didn't either. It was her own fear because she felt inadequate and worried about how she looked. She needed to relax and enjoy the moment because it was certainly enjoyable.

She was happy to do this as much as he wanted. When they got back, they would have to be more careful again about where and when they did this with Harry and eventually another baby around the house. They would lack for privacy even more when the baby arrived so she was going to do whatever and however and whenever he wanted in their room during their stay.

He felt her hands stroke his bare back. He still couldn't believe he was doing this with her. He figured he would wake up tomorrow and be back at his parent's home in Spinner's End alone. He certainly never expected he would be at this place with anyone or doing this with anyone, let alone with Lily. He felt like he was just having another teenage dream and that was all. It was real though. Each time he did this with her and each time he woke up beside of her, he was reminded that this was real.

He was now a husband, a stepfather and would soon have a biological child joining the family. He smirked at that thought as Lily kissed his lips and held him close to her body. With her fingers running intimately over him, he realized that he finally had the one thing he never had: a real family.

_**A/N:**__ I am hoping I fixed all of autocorrect's incorrect changes. I tried to be thorough, but I could have missed something. My apologies if there is something. Also, most of the rituals in the wedding are Pagan ones (mostly Celtic), but some are other traditions. Jumping the broom is an old one and is a real one. The items used are all symbols of something, be it friendship, sexual love and passion, fertility, good communication, etc. I didn't mention the flowers or gems by name because they will come up later and that's all I will say. _

_*Some minor errors I must apologize for. The bit about going scuba diving-taken out and apparently a line where Lily spoke at the end was missing and I can't remember what I had her say so I took Severus's short line out because it looked weird with him answering a question/thought when there's not one to answer. Not sure where the line went. Must have accidently got deleted after my last edits. _


	48. Chapter 48: Twice the Trouble

_Thanks to __**Raven Lockwood, MarissaRosee, Tacker23, 8thWeasleyKid, Zireael07, Phoenix1592, Ryuzuu, Ranma's girl1**__ and __**Ujemaima **__for the reviews. _

_*Fixed the document and finally got one line to change this morning-took a reload to get it to work, so I apologize for the extra update. It was not working last night at all. My recent edits were originally not coming up when I uploaded to the site and corrections made here were not fixing at first-random lowercase and uppercase letters and some autocorrect word issues and all-I couldn't know how it looked until I uploaded the chapter so I apologize for the errors there. Anyway, it looks fine now-at least I think so. _

**Chapter 48: Twice the Trouble**

_Early December 1983_

Lily sat beside of Severus on his chair. Severus grinned as she moved her body against his. She kissed his lips. Severus wrapped his arms around her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as he kissed her forehead.

"Like I am going to be sick. I told you that I get rather sick."

"I can't believe you wanted this again."

"It'll be worth it." She said, curling up even closer, moving her leg over his.

"If you say so."

Lily smiled at him. "You'll see." She sighed. "So, you are coming with me when I go to the healer next week?"

"You still want me to go?"

"I would like it, yes."

"Then I am going, but I don't know what I will do there."

She played with his hair, twisting it in her finger gently. "I just want the company. Besides, you'll get to see the baby inside of me and hear its heart beat."

"You can hear the heart beating already?"

She nodded. "Uh-hum. It takes about a month is all and I'm seven weeks now."

"So far things are going good minus your nausea and sickness and mood swings."

"And having to pee every hour, but those are all par for the course. The nausea and vomiting will go away in a few weeks."

There was a knock at the door.

"Don't answer it." Lily said. "It's probably Sirius and I'm not in the mood to deal with him right now."

"I wasn't going to. We're busy anyway." He kissed her lips.

Lily grinned under his lips. She didn't know why she was worried about the moving up of their wedding. It didn't matter. It had been a week since they had been married and nothing had really changed except the fact that they shared a bed now. She felt his hand run through her hair. She ran her fingers around his back under his shirt. Suddenly, the door opened. They jumped and turned in surprise.

"Oh-my-god." Sirius said.

"We came at a bad time." Chara spoke in what Lily was sure was meant to be a whisper, but Chara's volume was at a higher decibel than most.

"There's a reason we didn't answer the door." Severus mumbled.

"That's obvious. You all were ready to strip each other's clothes off."

"Actually we just don't want you here. But I will strip naked if it will get you to leave my house."

"We just had dinner so we prefer you didn't. No need to make everyone in the room vomit."

"Wouldn't bother me." Lily said with a smile, rubbing Severus's thigh. Sirius cringed.

"I really don't get you two. You just don't fit together." Sirius said.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why's that? We got along for years and we've been, for the most part, getting along since we met again."

Severus brushed some hair that had fallen out of Lily's clasp and tucked it behind her ear, stroking the back of her head and down her neck with the back of his hand. "We've been getting along quite well, if I do say so."

"We can tell." Chara said, holding a sleeping infant in her arms that Severus couldn't see because it was wrapped in a blanket.

"Get along much more and you'll get one of these screamers." He pointed to his baby.

Lily looked at Severus, who gave her a sly grin.

"He's right, Lily. We need to be more careful."

"Indeed. Otherwise we might have a baby on our hands." She patted his thigh. "Then again, one with you would be a lovely thought. You want to make one tonight?" Lily gave Sirius a sly grin.

"You aren't being funny, just gross."

"Gross?" Lily asked, her eyes growing narrow. "What exactly is gross?"

Sirius backtracked. "I don't want to know what you two do here alone."

"Well then, don't barge in our home uninvited-you may just something you don't want to."

"You have a kid."

"He goes to bed much earlier than we do and takes naps most days."

Chara gasped and grabbed the hand Lily was using to stroke Severus's leg and turned to Sirius. She put her hand to her mouth. "Oh-my-god! You've tied the knot! You two are married!"

Sirius turned and grew wide-eyed. "You're what?"

Lily smiled and cleared her throat. "Yes, we are."

"When did you get married?" Chara asked.

"About a week ago."

"Why? What was the rush?"

Lily looked at Severus and shrugged. "We were engaged for a couple weeks already and since we live together, we just wanted to go ahead and seal the deal. We thought it make the situation-living as a couple and as a family-more official with the ceremony and papers."

"Are you pregnant?"

"What?" Lily asked. "Why would you ask that?"

"It's why you married James. Guess it's why you are marrying him too."

"No. We got married because we love each other and want to spend our lives with each other as a family."

"Where was Harry when you went off to enjoy yourselves, huh?"

Lily didn't like his tone. "At our neighbours. They raised four children so he was fine. We went to the Caribbean. We had a wonderful time."

"I'm sure you did."

Lily looked at Severus, who just smirked.

"You want our daughter to hang out with these people?" Chara whispered, but they heard anyway.

"She is my late best friend's wife."

Lily didn't like being referred to as James's wife in the present. She was his wife. She was now Severus's wife. She noticed that Sirius didn't like to refer to James in the past tense much. It was obviously still hard on him.

"Lily Snape doesn't sound as nice as Lily Potter." Sirius mumbled.

Lily pretended she didn't hear that. "So, how's Talitha been doing? Is she sleeping through the night?"

"Yes," Chara nodded, looking at Lily with an expression she cuoldn't quite read. She couldn't tell if Chara was disgusted or annoyed or what with her. "She's a wonderful baby."

Severus had to bite his tongue at Chara's smug attitude with those words. He had a feeling the woman was trying to stir up problems.

"We came here to see how Harry is and show off the baby."

"Harry's finishing his dinner." Lily said. "He got in trouble for his behaviour so he's finally settled and is eating his food without a fuss."

"That means we want you to leave him alone and let him eat and not undermine our authority." Severus added.

"Since when do you have any authority over James and Lily's son?"

Severus narrowed his eyes a little. "Since I became his stepfather."

Sirius grumbled something Severus couldn't quite here. Something about "know-it-all" and "James" and "pissed off at" someone-probably him.

"Can I offer you all something?" Severus said. "A drink, perhaps?" He gritted his teeth in an attempt to be civil and to escape the room for a few minutes.

"No." Sirius said. "Chara?"

She looked at Severus and wrinkled up her nose. "No, thank you. We have clean water at home. I prefer to not drink water from a death-commoner establishment."

"They have some alcohol."

"I don't drink, baby. You know that. I am trying to feed the baby too-I can't be drinking."

Severus rolled his eyes at Chara calling Sirius her baby-he probably behaved like one.

"Alcohol-good idea." Severus mumbled. He watched the two giggle and kiss and looked at Lily. "Alcohol and lots of it too." He got to his feet.

"You didn't ask Lily if she wanted any."

"She just had a tall glass of water so I doubt she's thirsty." Severus said quickly.

Lily relaxed a little at that. Severus had provided a good cover. "I'm not thirsty."

Severus got himself a drink and came back into the the living room with Harry.

"I'm done, Mummy."

"Did you eat it all?" Lily asked.

He nodded and went to her. He looked perplexed when he saw Chara.

"Who's that?" He asked in a whisper to Severus.

"Nobody." Severus said with a smirk.

"My fiancée, Harry." Sirius answered and gave a glare at Severus.

"What's that?"

"It's the lady he's going to marry." Lily answered.

"Why?"

Severus nearly spit out his drink at that. He smirked. "No one knows. Lesson learned-you can't explain Black's behaviour so don't try and never imitate."

"What's she holding?"

"It's a baby. You want to see her?"Lily asked.

Chara looked horrified and held her baby close. "I don't want your son touching or breathing on her. He'll get my baby dirty."

"Don't worry. He's James's son, not his." Sirius said, looking at Severus.

"I told you I don't desire to mix with dea-people like him-them."

"Okay, never mind, Harry." Lily pulled Harry to her. "You need to get back to bed." She turned to Sirius and Chara with a deep glare. "Thanks for stopping by, but you may escort yourselves out. If you can't be polite in our home, you are not welcome here." Lily said.

"Fine. Let's go home, Padfoot." Chara said and headed out of the door.

Sirius rubbed Harry's head. "See you, kid."

Sirius left and Severus looked at Lily. "My former status as a Death Eater has its perks. His fiancée is afraid of me and he may come around less now.

Lily shook her head and let out a breath. "If you will excuse me a moment, Chara's perfume has made me feel ill and I didn't want to go to the bathroom to get sick with them here lest they ask too many questions." She got up from the chair.

"Are you sure it wasn't just them that brought it on? It would me."

Lily smiled and went into the bathroom.

Harry tucked on his pants leg. "You want to play with me?"

"What are you playing?"

"Dragons attack. You can be the king."

"What does the king do?"

"He has to fight the dragon before he gets all the people." Harry handed him a plastic sword. "You have to fight him before he gets to the village and destroys it with his fire breath. The sword will kill it."

Lily came out of the bathroom and smiled as Severus sat on his chair.

"How long should I stay on my throne?"

"You stay there." Harry climbed up beside of Severus on the chair.

"Are you the King now?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I'm the prince."

"What about a Queen?" Lily asked,coming into the living room.

"Yes, a Queen. You can be the Queen." Harry climbed onto Severus's lap. "Sit here, Mummy."

Lily squeezed in beside of Severus. She sighed as Harry talked to Severus about how he had to stab the dragon to kill it. Severus was listening.

"Stab it like this." He stabbed Harry's toy dragon.

Harry made the dragon fall over on his side. "Yeah! You killed it!

"No more mean dragon." Severus said. "He's gone."

"The town's saved."

"Hallelujah."

Lily grinned and put her hand on her abdomen. He may be nervous about having a child, but she could tell he would be just fine.

_17 December 1983 (Almost nine weeks pregnant)_

Severus woke up to Lily sound asleep by his side. He looked at the time. It was already after eight. They needed to get moving. He shoved Lily's shoulder. She didn't wake up. She was sound asleep still. They had to get to her first doctor appointment though. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Lily?" Lily stirred and opened her eyes slowly. "Morning."

"Sev, it's only seven. Harry's still in bed. It's Saturday. Go back to sleep." She shut her eyes again.

"And you have to be at the healer soon."

Lily's eyes bolted open. "Shit." She bolted up and slight bit of nausea hit her. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt some pains in her abdomen when she tried to get up.

Severus was fixing his robes when she gripped her stomach. "What's wrong?"

"My stomach."

"You feel sick to your stomach?"

"A little, but-I just felt some pains."

Severus paused. "Pain? What sort of pains?"

"My stomach-sharp cramps."

Severus sat down on the bed. "You need anything?"

She shook her head. "What if something's wrong? What if I am having another miscarriage?"

"We are seeing the doctor in a couple hours."

She felt nervous. "I just have a bad feeling about this."

He rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sure everything is fine."

"If something's wrong, I don't, I can't-" She felt her voice tremble.

Severus could see the fear in her eyes. "You don't need to worry-the healer will let us know if something is up, okay? You need to get up though-take a shower perhaps?"

Lily nodded. She took a quick shower and used the bathroom. She noticed that she was spotting, but didn't think too much of it until she went down to the kitchen. As she started a pot of coffee, her stomach cramps came back with a vengeance. She gasped in pain, grabbed her abdomen and doubled over.

"Lily?" Severus asked, coming into the room with Harry. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing-stomach-maybe a bug or something."

He didn't believe that for a moment, but didn't say anything.

Lily got some bacon to fix Harry and felt sharp pains hit her stomach again and gasped, feeling dizzy at the realization that something was wrong. "Sev."

He turned just as she collapsed to the floor. He gasped and ran to her. "Lily!"

"I don't feel so well." She mumbled. "I need to use the bathroom." She got to her feet and hurried upstairs for more privacy. She was afraid of scaring Harry.

Severus watched her run upstairs and looked at Harry. "We'll eat here in bit. Let's go up and play in your room while I check on your mum."

He took Harry upstairs. Harry complained that he was hungry. Severus said he would feed him in a few minutes.

Severus came into the bathroom. "Lily?" He saw her sitting on the toilet in tears. "Are you okay?"

Lily shook her head as blood rushed out of her. "No. I'm not-I think I am losing my pregnancy." Her words were cut with near sobs.

He looked over and saw the blood on her hands. "Dear god Lily."

She was trembling. "I'm having a miscarriage. We were supposed to go and see the baby and see how it's doing, not lose it. I can't lose another baby. I can't."

Severus wasn't sure what to say. He just put her hair back with clasp and kissed her forehead.

"Forget the doctor- I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No." Lily said through tears. "I can't."

Severus brushed the back of his hand over her face, wiping off her tears. "It'll be okay. I'll be right with you. I won't leave."

"Where's Harry?"

"I put him in his room to play."

"Call Remus."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "He'll be up-he usually is."

Severus left the bathroom and went down to the living room and used the fireplace to floo to Remus's. Remus looked shocked to see Severus.

"Morning, Severus. What brings you here?"

"I need you to watch Harry this morning."

"Why?"

"Because-because I have to take Lily to the hospital."

Remus's eyes grew wide. "What's wrong with her?"

"I can't tell you. That's up to her. He's already up and waiting upstairs in his room right now."

Remus nodded. "Let me just turn off my coffee then and I'll be there in five minutes."

Severus nodded and went back home. He hurried up to check on Lily. She was still sitting on the toilet, trying to not look as upset as he knew she was.

Lily saw him and got off the toilet. They waited for Remus downstairs on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her waist. She laid her head on his shoulder, clenching her fists to try and calm herself down.

"Lily? Severus?"

"Come in."

Severus helped Lily to her feet. "Thanks. Harry's in the kitchen. We haven't fed him yet." Severus took Lily outside and they apparated to St. Mungo's, leaving Remus alone with Harry.

They rushed Lily back into a room alone. He paced the hallway, waiting for any news. He was afraid that she had the thing she feared: Another miscarriage. He knew it would devastate her if she was indeed miscarrying.

Lily was not sure what was happening. They put her under a spell and whisked her off to another room, leaving Severus uneasy. She was then under some sort of haze, unaware of what they were doing to her.

Severus tried to remain calm, but the thought of losing Lily weighed heavy on his mind. _Just save her._ That was all he could think of was her life being at risk. He waited for about ten minutes before he heard someone speak to him again.

"Sir?"

Severus turned to see a lady in white healer robes looking at him. "Yeah."

"You are Lily Snape's husband?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Come with me."

He followed her uneasily into a room. "Your wife was pregnant."

"We know. I mean, we knew that. Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay."

"She's fine. We had to stop the bleeding though."

"She lost the pregnancy." He said matter-of-factly.

The lady shook her head. "No. She just had small tear in her placenta. We patched it up. It was small-about one centimetre. Your wife and babies are fine."

Severus let a shocked scoff. "She didn't lost the pregnancy, but-I saw all the blood."

"It doesn't take much to cause bleeding and even a small tear can cause a lot of blood. Now, she will need to be on bed rest for a bit to heal completely."

Severus nodded. "Okay." He ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh of relief. Everything was fine.

The lady smiled. "Would you like to see your wife?"

"Yes, of course."

"Follow me." He did. "She's in here."

He went to the bed and brushed back her hair at her forehead. "Hey? You okay?"

She gave a tiny smile. "She said the pregnancy is fine, just a placenta tear and now I have to be on bed rest. The cramping is related to that."

"She told me."

"You will gain more this time around and show a lot earlier. Everything looks great though and you are in good health overall. The babies are fine and look healthy so there is nothing to be concerned about."

"The baby is-"Severus paused. "Did you say babies?"

"Yes. Congratulations to the both of you-you're having two instead of one."

Lily gasped in shock and her hand flew to her mouth. Severus thought that he might faint for the first time in his life. He gripped the bed to steady and calm himself.

"We-we're-she's-two as in twins two?" Severus sputtered out in shock. They weren't planning on any yet and Lily was supposed to have one.

"You are expecting twins. They appear to be monozygotic or identical."

"Identical twins?" Lily said, still not believing what she was hearing. They were having twins. "I wonder if it's two boys or two girls?"

"Do you want to know the gender of the babies?"

Lily shook her head. "Not yet. I prefer to wait awhile-make sure everything is okay first."

"Not many twins are born here. They both looked great on the wand exam. Weight and size they should be, but that's the cramping you've felt-you are making room for two inside of you this time. The pains today are from the tear alone."

"I thought I was losing the baby." She said in surprise. "Now you are telling me I'm having twins."

"Would you like to see them?"

Lily nodded. "Yes."

Severus watched as the lady lifted Lily's gown to her chest. She put her wand to Lily's abdomen and said something he couldn't quite catch. The next thing he saw was a something the size of jelly bean moving slightly. He heard something that sounded slightly like galloping horses. Lily looked at him with a bright smile. He gave her a little one back, still in shock.

"That's the baby's heartbeat. This is baby A." The healer moved her wand and he saw another thing the size of a jelly bean barely moving. "This is baby B. As I said, they look great so far."

Lily wasn't sure what to think, but she felt excited. Twins, they were having twins. She would have three children. She was in tears, happy that everything was fine and the shock of the news of having more than one.

Severus felt a smile creep up on his face as he listened to the heartbeats. Even though he was still in complete shock, it was finally hitting him as he looked at the little jelly bean sized babies moving inside of Lily that they would become babies-his babies. He was having two children with Lily.

"You are to refrain from any sexual intercourse for a couple weeks until you heal, okay?"

Lily looked at Severus, who looked too shocked to realize what the lady was saying. She wouldn't be happy about that. They'd only been married for a couple weeks and she didn't want to refrain, but for the health of her and the babies she would and knew Severus would be fine with it to help her.

"No exercise. You are to only get up for the bathroom and back to bed for the next two weeks, then you are to take it easy for the two weeks after that. Try to avoid stairs if at all possible and heavy exercise of any kind. You can take short, light walks. Light swimming might be something to consider, but not much more than that. This is just to let the spell heal you up completely and to prevent further tearing in the process."

Lily nodded. "That's fine. Sev?

He turned to her. "I heard-no sex, no exercise for two weeks-only to the bathroom and back to bed. Only light exercise and no stairs for another two weeks so you can heal-got it."

"What are we going to do about Harry while I am on bed rest?"

"Remus and neighbours, I presume. I'll take care of him after work and on the weekends except that I have night duty next weekend."

"Are you okay?" She asked, noticing that he seemed out of it with shock and he was holding onto her bed still.

"Yeah, fine, great."

Lily was still trying to process it all. She was not having a miscarriage, but she had to be on bed rest. Instead of losing a baby, she was having two of them at once. She now wished she had asked to know the gender of them because it was going to drive her crazy until the next appointment they had. They would learn eventually. She had waited until she could see it under the spell with Harry and would do the same this time.

"It's a bit of shock, isn't it?"

He shrugged. Shocked was almost too kind of a word. He didn't have a word for how he felt right now. It was not what he expected to hear. "_Two babies._" He thought to himself. _"Two babies-three kids in the house."_

He didn't even know how to handle one, let alone two. _"How in the world did this happen? Well, I know full well how it happened-that lovely rainy, chilly and boring evening alone in the house with Harry gone and getting carried away was how you got here. But twins-how did they happen? You know how it happens-splitting of an egg in this case-random event."_

"Twins. Two. We are going to need to do a lot more planning." She laughed in shock. "We're having two babies. Three children were not what I expected."

"You're telling me." He mumbled to her.

"Poor Harry-I hope he doesn't end up feeling put out with each of us trying to care for a baby."

Severus hadn't even thought about Harry. He was too busy thinking how he and Lily would deal with it. How the hell would they handle three children and all of them under the age five? That image of having a bunch of children running around came into his head. It's just three of them, Severus, just three. Harry will be four by the time they are born so you will only have two in diapers. A vision of him holding two screaming babies and Harry begging him to play came into his mind. He was tempted to scream in horror, but yet-he saw the babies and he did want them and it was useless to freak out over something he didn't have any control over. He was just going to have to deal with it. He was good with challenges and he would handle this like any difficult potion he was experimenting with.

"It will be okay. We can do this. At least neither of us is doing it alone."

"Yeah." He huffed. "Let's-let's get you home."

He summoned a rolling seat and helped Lily onto it. He commanded the chair where to go. He signed her out of the hospital before taking her home in the chair.

Harry was playing with a toy car, dropped it and ran over to them in excitement when they came in the house. Lily rubbed Harry's back as he hugged her.

"Why are you in a chair?" Harry asked in confusion.

"It's doctor's orders. Did you behave for Remus?"

Harry nodded. "We played with my train."

"That sounds like fun."

He touched her belly. "Is your tummy ache gone?"

"Yes, sweetie. I'm okay. Mummy will talk to you later about why I had a-tummy ache, okay?"

"What happened? Is everything okay? Are you okay?" Remus asked as he looked at Lily.

"I'm fine-great." She smiled.

"You look-surprised." Remus's eyes grew wide. "Are you-you are, aren't you?"

Lily and Severus looked at each other.

She smiled and gave a nod. "Yes-we are-I am-expecting."

"You two didn't waste any time getting busy." He said with a laugh. "A new baby coming already."

"Don't tell Sirius. We aren't really ready to let everyone know yet." Lily said, touching her stomach.

"Well, you'll have to tell everyone eventually."

"After today, I'd rather wait and see if everything will okay."

"What do you mean? What's wrong?"

Severus cleared his throat. "Just a little complication, that's all. She will need bed rest for a few weeks."

Remus looked shocked.

"I'm fine, Remus. Really. I just need to rest and take it easy and everything will be fine we hope."

"When are you due?"

"At the end of July."

Remus grinned. "So that's why you all hurried that wedding, huh?"

Lily felt herself blush and cleared her throat. She looked at Severus, who was listening to Harry tell him about a story.

"The thing is-I'm not just pregnant-I'm-really pregnant."

Remus looked confused for a moment and then his jaw dropped. "You're having twins? Triplets? More?"

"Don't even joke." Lily said. "We are having two. We are not having triplets or more than that-god help us if we were."

"You're having twins? Well, congratulations-to both of you. I am glad to hear the good news." He looked at her with a more serious face. "I really am. I think it will great for you-being married again and having a child. Finally getting your life back."

Lily smiled. "Yes, but I wasn't expecting this at all."

Remus laughed. "Well, I wish you luck and hope you heal and don't have any other complications."

"Thanks and I appreciate you coming over to watch Harry."

"You want me to take him for the afternoon so you can rest?"

"That won't be necessary. Tomorrow Lily may need you though when I have to go back to work." Severus said. "I can keep up with the kid today."

"I'll be around anytime. Just drop me a note." He opened the door. "Bye, Harry."

"Bye." Harry said, waving.

Remus left the turned to Lily. "Let's get you up to bed."

Severus took Lily upstairs. Lily got into bed. She didn't like the idea of being stuck in bed, but it was for the best.

"Do you want anything?" Severus asked.

"No, I'm good. I have everything I could want right now." She looked at Harry and Severus. Indeed, she had everything. A husband, a wonderful son, a lovely house and now twins on the way-her life couldn't get any better. This morning she thought she lost the latter, but instead she got far more than she ever could have imagined.

_**A/N:**__ The rolling chair is like a wheelchair, but I wanted it to move on its own instead with a command with a wand. _

_Should mention that the kitchen is right next to the living room and is not closed off so Lily and Severus can hear him and if Harry got out of his chair or tried to throw his food away, they would know. It's not like they just left him to eat his whole meal alone either-only to finish it. _

_*Also, I was so tempted to write Severus saying "This is definitely gonna be my spot" to his favourite chair, but didn't. I refrained from the Big Bang Theory reference. ;)_


	49. Chapter 49: Drowning In

_**A/N:**__ I feel a little bit bad for the name suggestions because I already have them, but I appreciate them nonetheless. I was avoiding interactive writing for the most part so I didn't suggest it. Hey, if you like those names though, you could consider naming your future children them. A couple of the suggestions were names of personal relatives and I don't use names of very close friends or family for any story of mine. It's nothing personal. I just already had names and a birth date before I wrote out her having twins. And she always was going to eventually have two. Just because I love to torment Severus a little. ;)_

_Thought I wouldn't get this up. Fanfiction wasn't working, then my computer went kaput (sp?). Not sure what's wrong with it. Laptops never last long enough. So, finally up. _

**Chapter 49: Drowning In**

_Mid January 1984_

Severus was running late. Harry was still coughing from his cold. He was feeling better that day, but still had a harsh cough. Harry watched Severus look at the time.

"Remus was supposed to be here already. He's running late which means I am too."

Harry coughed. "I want to stay home."

Severus huffed. "Not today. Your mum needs her rest and you need more room to play than our bedroom floor."

Finally, Severus heard a knock at the door. "It's about time." He went to the door and opened it to see Sirius to his shock and disgust. He grumbled. "What are you doing here?"

"Where are your manners? Harry isn't learning good things from you-know that?"

"And what is he learning from you, exactly? Flea prevention?" He sneered.

"Make your day unhappy seeing my pretty face, huh?"

"Where's Remus?" Severus glared at Chara, holding a baby in her arms and standing back from the house.

"Sick. We are taking over today. Taking him up to Chara's parents' cabin. Dad's a muggle."

"You sound so thrilled. Thought you enjoyed having Harry come over?" Severus wished he didn't have to leave Harry with the jerk, but he didn't have much choice right now. "You're already late."

"We have a three month old. She's got a bit of a cold."

"Yeah and I live with a three year old. I got him up, fed and ready. He's getting over a cold too. What's your excuse?"

"Babies can't do anything for themselves. It takes more time." Chara said.

"If you didn't put all that gloop on your face you might actually get somewhere on time. Dressing yourself up to go nowhere takes priority."

Chara scoffed in disgust as Severus helped Harry put on his shoes.

"It takes me a long time to get ready. It takes awhile to get everything how I want it."

"You are watching a three year old and a three month old. I don't think either gives a fuck about your appearance. You are close to being Jane Goodall with the chaos that will surely ensue with two sick kids around, you'll be sneezed and coughed all over all day anyway."

Chara scoffed. "Well, Jane Goodall doesn't know the first thing about being attractive. She devotes her life to monkeys and doesn't know the first thing about beauty."

Severus feigned surprise. "Really? How dare someone who spends their day with filthy creatures not care about such things. I am rather shocked that someone like you who spends their day with one would care either."

Chara narrowed her eyes. "Hmph. We know you don't care about appearances, that's obvious."

Severus rolled his own eyes slightly.

"But insulting your own stepson-"

"Who said I was talking about Harry? I assure you I wasn't."

Black glanced up and looked daggers at Severus. "Filthy? Look at you. Ever hear of a thing called shampoo? Or sunlight?"

"Ever hear of getting new insults? Yours are getting rather old."

Chara glared at Severus. "We didn't ask to watch the kid. We are your last resorts. We are spending time up north and were enjoying time alone as a coming family."

Severus looked at Sirius. "I bet the man who hates responsibility loves being attached to you for life. Bet the thought just thrills him. If I thought I was stuck with you for life, I'd consider sticking my head in a gas oven."

"That's horrible!" She snapped.

"So is the thought of being married to you. Thank god I'm not."

"Like you know anything about marriage."

"I already am. And unlike your situation, a drunken one night stand isn't the reason."

"I was not speaking of you and Lily, though why she married you I will never know, but your own observations of marriage. Sirius told me your parents used to fight all the time. Couldn't be healthy to hope for a successful marriage after watching a failed one."

Severus glared daggers at her, slightly enraged. "I don't know what Black heard, but my upbringing is none of your damn business and you will do well to not speak of it again!"

Chara sneered. "Struck a nerve apparently. A witch with a muggle man and-"

Severus resisted the urge to hex the woman. "Your half veela mum swooned a muggle man and you dare mock my blood status?"

Chara rolled her eyes. "I was not doing any such thing. I just meant-"

"What? My mother didn't marry a wealthy business man like yours?"

"No. Money isn't important."

"Then what exactly bothers you about me?"

Chara bit at her tongue uneasily and then shrugged it off. "Fine. Forget it."

"The fact that I was a Death Eater?"

She cringed slightly and then forced a glare at him unsuccessfully. She took a breath through her nose. "Look, we wanted time away for ourselves-as a family."

"Because living off your parents money and in a huge house with no need for a job just doesn't give you enough alone time, right?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and mumbled something Severus couldn't hear. "I am happy to watch Harry, but we have been busy. It'll be fine though."

Chara huffed. "Just part of a day."

"I asked Remus to watch him and apparently he asked you when he couldn't. You are his last resort, not ours. I would have given him to a neighbour if I had known before now." Severus put Harry's coat on. "One of you needs to actually watch the kid. If you can't be bothered then drop him off at the school and I will take the day off to watch him instead."

"We'll watch him. We always do. I think I know how to take care of a child."

Severus glared daggers at Sirius and then scoffed. "Yeah, your baby is still alive. Congratulations." He looked at the time. "I need to get moving-I'm running late and the floos to my job aren't working."

"Oh, that's so sad. Maybe I'd care if you said something like Harry had been barfing all over the place and you were running late."

Severus gave Sirius an almost murderous look before grabbing his cloak. Harry coughed again. "You are the reason I am late, you idiot! And as I said, Harry's getting over a little head cold so keep him inside so I won't up all night with a croupy three year old."

"Oh, that's so sad." Sirius mocked. "I'd care if you said you had been up all night with a colicky one like we have."

Severus did indeed give a murderous look this time. "Just do what we ask and stop making our lives difficult. Like the annoying gnat that won't quite flying around your eyes. Drive us crazy."

"Isn't that sad. I might care if-"

"Black!" Severus shouted. "I will curse your tongue out of your mouth if you do not shut the hell up!"

Severus started to head out of the front door.

"You couldn't do that." Black taunted.

"I don't think I'd push it. You have no idea what I am capable of!" Severus sneered and looked at Chara. "After all, I was a Death Eater." He exited the home.

Sirius turned to Harry who was laughing a little. "And what are you laughing at?"

Harry just giggled.

Sirius sighed and headed out the door. "Between Snivy and Lily, this kid is screwed. If only James hadn't died, the kid would have a chance."

"They are both rather cheeky." Chara said. "Maybe he'll be like his father. You and him were good friends."

"We were." They started to leave the house and Sirius shut the door and then stopped and opened it back up. "Come on, Harry. Almost left you behind."

Harry followed behind them until they apparated away.

0o0o0o

Severus wrote on some parchment. He had an uneasy feeling about leaving Harry with Black and his girlfriend.

"When did you get married, Professor?"

Severus raised an eyebrow as he looked up at his detention student. "Do your work, Mr. Anderson."

"You have a ring on your finger-a marriage one. When did you get married?"

"A couple months ago-back to work."

The boy went back to scrubbing cauldrons. "You seem young to be a teacher here."

"I am younger than most who apply and receive job."

"How did you get the job?"

"That is not your concern, now get to work. I need to get out of here. I have things to do and if you don't finish your scrubbing, you will continue tomorrow and the next-however many it takes."

Mr. Anderson went back to scrubbing. "Are you having any children?"

"That is also none of your concern."

Severus looked at the time.

"Do you have somewhere you have to be?"

"Clean, Mr. Anderson."

The twelve-year-old continued to scrub.

"Are you going on a date?"

"No."

"Is your wife at home?"

"Yes."

"Do you see her everyday or do you only see her sometimes because you work here?"

Severus huffed and grumbled. _Annoying little brat._ "Most days I see her."

"Is that where you were-at the beach? When you were gone awhile ago?"

"Scrub." Severus saw him scrubbing.

"Is that your wife in the picture? The woman with the red hair?"

"Don't ask so many questions, Mr. Anderson."

"Well, is she?"

Severus was tempted to kick the kid out. "Yes, now back to work."

"She looks nice."

"Keep scrubbing!" Severus pressed harder with his quill.

"Were you in Slytherin, Professor? When you were in school?"

Severus refrained from an eyeroll. "Yes. That's how I am head of house."

"Was your wife a witch?"

"Yes. Scrub."

He scrubbed the cauldron again. "Was she in Slytherin too?"

"No."

"Did she go to Hogwarts?"

"Yes." Severus spoke through gritted teeth.

"Which house was she in?"

"I don't believe that's your concern."

"Was she in your year or was she younger?"

Severus glared at the boy. "Get back to work."

"Was she in Hufflepuff."

Severus sighed. This kid was going to drive him crazy. "No."

"So, Professor Sprout was once a Hufflepuff?"

"Yes. That tends to be the pattern." Severus was glad the focus was off his personal life at least.

"Why?"

"Because we know the dynamics of the dorm and know where everything is. It makes it easier now stop asking questions and scrub. You have five minutes left to finish or you will back here tomorrow scrubbing again."

Severus wanted to get out of here and get Harry. He did not have a good feeling about leaving Harry with Sirius and it had bothered him all day.

"Okay, Mr. Anderson, up to Hufflepuff and out of my sight until tomorrow."

"I guess I have detention tomorrow too, huh?"

"Then don't ignore my explicit instructions on how to make a potion and risk harming your classmates again. Now go." Severus watched the boy leave and locked up his office before going to his quarters. He flooed home and then left the house, apparating to the address Sirius had given him.

The wind was howling and bitter on his exposed face. The bare trees creaked. It was near nightfall. Severus heard yelling as he started to knock on the door. He started down the hill to the lake.

Chara was arguing with Sirius on the back deck and Severus wondered where Harry was. Talitha was in a basket by a little wood stove sleeping. Then he saw something out of the corner of his eye near the lake. He turned to see Harry reaching for a ball that was in the water and that fast Harry was gone.

Severus felt a surge of panic and bolted for the lake. He didn't bother to take off his shoes. He didn't know how to swim very well, but better than a three year old. He got into the water and pulled Harry, who was bobbing in and out of the water, out. His magic was managing to keep him somewhat alive because he was certain the boy was terrified. He took hold of Harry and got out from under the water. He gasped from the cold as he emerged. He took in a breath of air, breathing in ice. He could see his and Harry's breath heavy in the frosty air. Harry coughed and choked. Severus saw the ball Harry had nearly drowned to get and threw it ashore. The ball caught itself in a bush.

He swam back to the edge of the water with one arm, trying to keep him and Harry afloat, his heart pounding. He didn't know how to swim very well as it was and trying to hold Harry while being weighed down by his water clogged shoes made it wonder is they would both end up drowning. The water was so cold that it felt like he was being stabbed by several knives at once. It made it difficult to breathe. Harry's lips were turning blue from the cold and he was crying in pain. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, but was probably just a minute, he was able to touch the bottom of the lake with his feet and walk the rest of the way out.

He got out of the water to the snowy embankment and took in a deep breath of frigid air as he collapsed to the ground with the child. His lungs were near frozen and it still hurt to breathe. His face stung as the water began to freeze against it. His hair was turning frozen in spots as well. Harry coughed and choked, retching. Severus leaned him forward and Harry vomited up water. Harry was shaking violently. Severus knew he needed to get him somewhere warm and get him there fast. He needed to get somewhere warm as well before they both got frost-bitten. Hypothermia had probably set in a little, but Harry didn't seem confused mentally or anything, just very cold. As Severus got to his feet with Harry, the whole ordeal finally started to sink in and it made him madder than hell.

He turned to see Sirius and Chara running to them.

"He was right beside of us-honest. Turned for a minute!" Sirius said, looking panicked.

Severus felt ready to kill both of them. "No, you were yelling at each other over god only cares what!"

Harry jumped at Severus's voice. Severus picked Harry up, both shivering terribly. He had never felt panic and concern in his life over anyone except Lily. Harry curled up against Severus, trying to get warm.

"My hair hurts. I'm cold."

"Yeah, I know." Severus had never felt so angry in his life. "He could have drowned! You fuckin' useless, worthless-if I hadn't been here-dead! You stupid, worthless, lazy arses! You are lucky that baby of yours is even still alive!" He shouted, his lips trembling as he spoke from the cold. He started to walk away.

"It was an accident!"

Severus turned. "Recklessness!" He resisted pulling out his wand and harming them both as much he wanted to. It took all his willpower not to do so. "He could have drowned in that lake-you-you thick-headed idiots! You almost got my son killed! Morons-both of you!" Severus shouted without thinking about what he was saying.

"Your son?" Sirius looked he was about to throttle Severus. "Your son? He's not _your _son! How dare you-"

"I didn't say he was my son-useless idiot!"

"Yes, yes, you did! You said I almost got _your _son killed! He is James's son, not yours, you idiot!"

If looks could kill, Sirius and Chara would be dead on the spot. He did not have time to listen to Sirius rant about James Potter again. "If Harry gets pneumonia or anything else-so help me god! Harry is not allowed back over here again, do you understand?"

Severus continued to walk away so he could apparate home and out of view of any muggles.

"You aren't his parent! You don't get a say!"

"NEVER AGAIN!" Severus yelled, making Harry jump again. "And I am his father-stepfather and I do get a say-far more than you! I have no doubts Lily will agree with me after this incident! You want James in this-imagine what he would think about his son drowning and it being all your fault because you felt arguing over what to have for dinner was far more important!" Severus kept walking, trying to shield Harry from the cold as much as he could. His hands ached, losing feeling as the wind whipped against them.

Severus looked down at Harry, who was still shocked at the events of the day. "Come on, Harry, let's go put you in a warm bath and in warm, dry clothes and we can go sit by the fire. Sound good?"

Harry nodded. "Hot chocolate too?"

"Sure."

"Don't you dare-" Sirius started to say, coming after Severus.

"Harry is not your godson anymore!" Severus was certain that if any muggles were in the cabins around the area, they were likely looking to see what the ruckus is all about.

"If something happens to Lily, he will end up with me and if something happens to both of us-our neighbours will gladly take Harry! Not you-not ever!"

Severus made it to the deck and out of view from the lake and neighbouring cabins. "And don't even think about setting foot on our property again-you will regret it! That's a promise!"

He apparated home and entered their warm house. It felt great. Severus took off his shoes and wet socks and set Harry down. He undid Harry's coat and removed his drenched cloak. He took off Harry's clothes and put a blanket around him.

"Let's get you in a warm bath."

"Are you taking a bath too?" Harry was still shaking.

"I'll take a shower after you have a bath."

"You don't want a bath?"

Severus scooped Harry up and took him upstairs. "No. I'll take warm shower after you have a bath."

He put him in the shower, drawing up a bath. Severus removed his own socks, sat on the tub's edge and put his feet in the warm water to prevent frostbite. He poured warm water down Harry's back. Harry cried from the pain as his feet and hands warmed up in the water. It was only lukewarm water right now, but Severus understood the boy's pain. He felt it too as his feet warmed up and his hands came in and out of the water to warm Harry up. His hands and feet hurt worse now than they did when they were exposed to the cold. He had to take deep breaths to stop the pain as the feeling returned to his extremities.

Lily was afraid Harry had been sick so she got up from the bed. She was allowed to get up to go to the bathroom so she would see what was happening for a few minutes and see if everything was okay. She entered the bathroom and saw Severus soaked water and dripping water on her floor. Harry was sobbing slightly and shaking. Severus was lathering Harry's hair with shampoo.

"It hurts." Harry sobbed.

"You're okay." Severus said, trying to calm Harry down. "The pain will stop when you warm up."

"What happened?"

He turned. "What are you doing up?" He was scrubbing Harry's hair. The reality that Harry was alive and okay, but could be dead if he hadn't shown up hit him hard like a ton of bricks.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He said, choking on the word. "What are you doing up?"

"I came to see what was going on. You aren't okay at all. What happened?"

"I can't tell you right now, but it's over. Everything's okay."

"What do you mean?"

"You will want to be sitting down when I-when I tell you." He took a breath, letting his emotions ease without putting up his shields. Lily would notice if he did and it would make her more nervous. She left the bathroom for a moment and came back with a blanket.

"You need to get out of those wet clothes before you get hypothermia and I have to send you to the hospital."

"I'm fine, but thanks."

"Take them off before you catch your death. Now's not the time to be your stubborn self."

Severus took them off and she wrapped the thick fleece blanket around Severus.

Lily sat on the closed toilet seat. "I'm sitting. Tell me what happened."

Severus felt his throat clench slightly and he had to stop his emotion. "Black and his idiot of a girlfriend-neither are to come near Harry again. They are not going to watch him ever again!"

Lily was shocked. "What happened?"

"Do what you have to do-just take away Black's status as godfather-useless, worthless, no-good, lazy arse!"

She knew he didn't like Black, but he was ready to fall apart and it scared her. "Tell me what happened, Sev."

"They were arguing over who would fix dinner-call an elf or do it themselves when I arrived." He had to stop his temper from growing. "Think Harry is fine to be alone by the lake, they did-useless, pathetic beings!"

Lily choked, having a bad feeling about this.

"I don't even want to think what may have happened if I-if I hadn't come-hadn't been there then." He paused. "Don't know if they would have realized in enough time."

Lily gasped and gripped the sink. "He fell into the lake! It's freezing outside!"

Severus gripped the edge of the tub. "I know-I was in the lake too. Like knives stabbing you cold." Severus turned up the hot water now that Harry had warmed up. "Black showed up after I was out with Harry and after Harry choked and coughed and vomited from the water!"

Lily felt her heart pound hard in her chest. "My baby almost drowned!" Tears pooled her eyes.

"But he didn't. He's fine."

"Because you showed up!" She was now ticked off. "No-never again-not at that house any other house-that he lives in, that is. Not ever! I thought he would watch Harry better than that." She took a deep breath. "How did it happen?"

"I arrived. Saw Black and the Bitch arguing. Their baby was by the wood stove and Harry was not around. I saw him by the lake out of the corner of my eye and turned to find him reaching over the water to get his ball. That fast he was in the water. Slipped, I suppose. I pani-hurried-I hurried after him because he can't swim and got into the water to fish him out before he drowned."

"But you can't swim-not really."

"Enough to save my life I can."

"And Harry's life." She could tell the incident had shaken him up, maybe more than it scared Harry.

"Water was like ice. Never been in water that cold before."

Lily reached over and put her hand on Severus's arm. It was like touching ice. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Saving my son."

"He's my responsibility too, not just yours. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't realize that."

Severus looked at Harry, who looked healthier now that he had gotten warm, but he was still rather shaken from the near fatal slip. "Let's get you dressed and then I will take a quick shower."

"Then a fire and hot chocolate." Harry asked him.

"Absolutely." He turned to Lily. "Why don't I carry you downstairs and you can join us?"

"That would be lovely."

Severus got Harry out of the tub and wrapped a towel around him. He picked Harry up. "I'm going to get him dressed and I'll be back."

Lily smiled as she watched Severus take Harry to his bedroom.

Severus got him into his pyjamas. He left Harry in his bedroom and went to take a quick shower to warm up and clean himself up from the lake water.

"Can you read me a story?" Harry asked, coming into the bathroom with them.

"Sure." Severus replied as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.

He put on his own warm and dry night clothes and carried Lily down and set her on the couch. Harry followed them down the steps. He started a fire in the fireplace and went to make some hot chocolate. He came back with three cups. He gave one to Lily, a small one to Harry and had one for himself. He sat on his favourite chair.

"Your spot." Lily smiled.

"Definitely my spot."

Harry came up on his chair and curled up beside of him. "Will you read it now?" Harry said, holding a book.

Severus took the book. "Go, dog, go."

Lily listened to Severus reading a story to Harry and sighed. This was the life she wanted: a family of her own.

"Where the dog?"

"The red dog is on the blue tree." Harry said.

"And where's the blue dog?"

"On the red tree."

Lily did not have a doubt in her mind anymore. She could tell by his emotional state over Harry nearly drowning that if something happened to Harry, he would have been devastated, probably just as much as she would be in all truth. She watched Harry close his eyes, and curl up against Severus while he finished the book.

"Hello again. And now do you like my hat? I do. What a hat. I like it! I like that party hat! Good-bye. Good-bye." Severus shut the book and looked at Harry, who was drifting off to sleep. Severus looked at Lily, who was smiling.

"You look tired." She said to him.

"I had a long day."

"You want to lay down over here with me? I would love the company."

Severus smiled and got up with Harry. He laid Harry down on two seated couch and curled up with Lily on the larger couch. Lily moved her blanket over to cover him too. As he started to doze off, he found Harry at his feet, climbing onto the couch with them.

Severus sighed and extended the couch out with his wand to make room. Harry squeezed in-between them and curled up beside of him. Harry shut his eyes and Severus laid down. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes were Harry soundly sleeping beside of him and Lily skimming a book.

Lily hadn't heard a word from Severus and turned to see him dead to the world with Harry. She sighed as she watched them sleeping. They were both okay and alive. It shook her to think about what could have happened. She closed her eyes and drifted off sleep

_**A/N**__: Not quite hypothermia. Some were based off my own experiences with being cold. I do live around low mountains so I have experiences being very cold and as a child, you play in the snow and get wet, but don't want to go in and had a few lovely experiences of painful re-warming of the extremities before. Funny how it's not really snowed here this winter and as I finished draft one of this, I find out we are getting a small winter storm here. A couple inches fell overnight. I was actually disappointed. I was enjoying my 60F/15.5C winter days and snow/ice free (for the most part) winter. Take care everyone. I hope you are all staying warm (or cool depending on your location) and well. _


	50. Chapter 50: It's a

_Thanks to __**Cara-tanaka, Honoo Moeru, 8thweasleykid, Narutonarutolove, Phoenix1592, Watcher of the Hearts, Gothgirl3030, Starlightwonderer23, PurplewolfDOTcom, MarissaRosee, KraziiePyrozHavemoreFun, Phoenixfelicis07,**__ and __**Ujemaima **__for the reviews. _

_*I know I forget the thanks list last time. I will fix that. Sorry-I usually put it last to make sure I get all the reviews in. _

_A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up. School, computer going kaput and finding out it had several viruses-and yes, I now have malware bytes and an anti-virus on my computer. Computer is still not acting right and having issues even though all the viruses and things have been wiped clean. I wanted this up Valentine's day-but crashed computer. Then on my birthday (17__th__), but was not feeling well for a couple days. Felt a little better yesterday, but did not finish this in time to upload. So, today it is up. _

**Chapter 50: It's a...**

_Next Morning_

Lily woke up to a loud roaring noise. She looked over and saw Severus and Harry sound asleep. She looked over at the window and saw a snowplough pushing snow off the road. It had snowed quite a bit overnight.

Lily got up and went to the bathroom. Severus woke up as she closed the door to the bathroom. Harry was still sound asleep. Severus sat up and got off the couch as Lily came back in.

"I'm going to go up and get dressed. You want your clothes too?"

Lily nodded. "That'd be great, thanks."

Severus went upstairs as she lay down on the couch. Lily turned on the television set. Harry stirred, still sleeping on his back.

"Chance of snow tomorrow-a few inches-maybe around three or four." The man on the station said as Severus came back down. Lily changed her clothing.

"I'm going to fix something to eat. Would you like something?"

"Some oatmeal sounds good."

"I'm glad your nausea is easing up and you actually want to eat breakfast now."

"Me too. Still nauseous here and there, but it is easing up. I can't wait for it to go away completely. I am getting sick of feeling sick all the time."

"You and me both."

"Be glad you weren't the one vomiting."

"I am very glad." Severus looked at the kitchen. "I think I will have some hot cereal as well."

"Sounds lovely. I'm glad it's Saturday and you don't have any classes."

"So am I, but I still need to go and keep up with the students this evening."

Lily sighed. "I know." She turned to the window. "It snowed overnight."

"I saw. I might take Harry out to play in it if he feels up to it."

"I'm sure Harry would love to play in the snow."

Severus went into the kitchen. Lily looked out the window. It was still snowing. It would be a great for Harry to play in the snow and get some energy out.

_That Afternoon_

"I can't zip it." Harry said, trying to get his coat on.

Severus zipped the coat up and put on Harry's hat.

"Can we go outside now?"

"Yes." He opened the door and Harry went outside.

"It's snowing."

"Yes, it is."

"Can we make a snowman?"

"Sure. Start up a small ball and we'll start rolling."

As they Severus put up the second part of the body, Harry pointed at the street.

"Sirius."

Severus turned and saw Sirius coming up. "Oh, great. The circus is back in town." Severus started to approach Sirius, who was advancing on the yard. "I told you not to set foot on our property."

"I need to speak to Lily."

"She doesn't want to speak to you."

"Have her answer for herself. You don't speak for her."

Severus glared at Sirius, who was glaring at him as well. "I know my wife and know how she feels about yesterday. She does not want to speak to you right now."

"Well, I need to speak to her."

"Well, I guarantee that she does not want to speak to you, so leave her be."

Before Sirius could talk, the front door opened.

"What's all the shouting-Sirius." Lily frowned.

"You are supposed to be resting." Severus said.

"I heard a commotion and decided to get up to see what was going on."

Sirius looked at Lily for a moment. "Rest again? You have some serious illness now?" He then looked down at her stomach through her comfortably fit shirt. "Oh-my-god." He looked daggers at Severus. "You got her pregnant!"

Severus smirked and looked at Lily, who was trying to cover her stomach.

"You knocked her up! That's why you all got married!"

"No, we got married because we wanted to." Lily spoke defensively.

"What? A honeymoon baby? I don't buy that! She's already showing!"

"Well..." Lily grinned. "That's because with each baby you usually do show early and when you have more than one, you grow faster. Now you know I am pregnant so you can tell everyone when you leave the property-which is now."

Sirius's eyes grew wide. "I can't believe this!"

"I said you can escort yourself off our property-now!"

"Lily, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I-I-really-I" Sirius choked. "If something had happened-I-don't-can't-never would forgive myself-never."

"You never, ever turn your back! You were at a lake! He can't swim! He's three years old! Three!"

Severus was uneasy about Lily's anger. "Lily, take it easy. Don't harm yourself to yell at Black. He's not worth the trouble."

Lily took a deep breath, knowing Severus was right. She needed to calm down.

Sirius looked a bit distraught. "I really am sorry. I feel awful."

"You should!" Lily pulled out her wand.

"Okay, okay, don't be stupid now."

"Stupid? Stupid? Your carelessness almost got my child killed! My only stupidity was thinking he would be safe with you!"

"He is! I wouldn't harm him!"

"He almost drowned!" Lily clenched her wand tight in her hand and pointed it at him.

"I thought he was with us!"

"While you were yelling at your fiancée! Are you crazy? He doesn't need to hear your petty fights!"

"It was a disagreement about dinner-not a fight!" Sirius glared daggers at Severus, who had his wand out. Harry was watching the adults uneasily, hiding behind Severus. "Your-significant other is the stupid one, actually thinking Harry belongs to him!"

Lily raised her eyebrow. "Harry is both our responsibility. What do you expect him to do-let his own stepson drown?"

"Oh no, no-he didn't call Harry his stepson-he called Harry his son. Said I almost got his son killed. He is not his son! He is the son of James, not him!"

Lily looked at Severus. She was a bit surprised that Severus called Harry his son, yet it didn't really surprise her though, especially not after Severus's behaviour yesterday.. She felt a grin form on her face. It actually made her feel relieved. She was worried that having the babies would bring on issues with Harry. She was afraid that Severus would feel differently or behave differently to his own children than Harry. She knew it would not be intentional, but Harry was not his biological son whereas the twins would be his children biologically. Now though, she doubted that would be much of an issue.

"Oh."

"Oh? Oh is all you have to say! It doesn't piss you off!"

Lily shrugged. "No."

Sirius huffed, clenching his fists and mumbling something inappropriate. He pulled out his wand, prompting Severus to point his at Sirius for a strike.

"You dare call me stupid-you stayed with a former Death Eater, married him and got knocked up by him and you call me stupid!"

Anger surged through Lily's body and she struck at him, surprising Severus.

Black ducked. "Hey-hey-stop!"

"Get away from here!" She struck again and hit him. "I said GO!"

"Fine-fine." Black frowned as he got to his feet. "I'm gone for now. We'll talk again when things cool down." Black walked away.

Severus turned to Lily with a smirk. "About time you did something about him."

Lily leaned against the door frame. "Calling Harry your son, huh?"

Severus jerked his head to the side with unease. "Well, he is my-step-stepson. I didn't mean it in a bad way."

Lily smiled at him. "No need to get defensive. I don't have a problem with it." Lily sighed. "I'm actually glad to hear that-that you do think of him like that."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You are?"

"Well, with two new children coming I want to make sure Harry won't feel excluded. I want him to feel that us, all five of us are a family."

Severus didn't respond for a moment. "We are. We will be."

"I know that, but I want him to feel that he's a part of it. I don't want him to feel that because these twins are yours biologically that you love them more and that because he doesn't belong to you by blood that he doesn't belong in this family."

"He's the first child in this family. I doubt he'll feel left out."

Lily smiled. "He is. I just hope he always feels that we are his family."

"We're the only family he's got, aren't we?"

Lily nodded with a smile. "I'm going to go lay back down." Lily went back inside and sat on the couch. She watched them finish making a snowman from the window. She sighed to herself, but smiled as Severus picked Harry up to put on the snowman's hat. She did not have anything to worry about, except how Harry would react to not being an only child anymore.

_29 January 1984_

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5-" Harry started, counting his pieces. He looked up at Severus. "6, 7, 8, 9-10."

"So how many pieces of candy to you have?"

Harry thought for a moment "Ten?"

"You have ten pieces."

Harry took the yellow beans. "1, 2. Two yellow beans."

"How many are blue?"

"1, 2. Two."

"How many are green?"

"1, 2, 3. Three pieces."

"How many are orange?"

"1. One pieces."

"How many are white?"

Harry looked. "None."

"Zero beans are white."

"Zero?"

"Zero means none, nothing there."

"Oh." Harry took a bean. "What's this colour?"

"Tan. How many are that colour?"

"1, 2. Two pieces."

Severus took out a bag of several shapes with different colours. "Can you put all the blue circles together and tell me how many blue circles there are?"

Harry looked through the pieces. "One." He took out another piece. "Two." He took out more pieces. "Three, Four, Five."

"So how many blue circles do you have?"

"Five. Five blue circles."

"How many green squares are there?"

Harry started to sort and count them. "One, two, three, four, five, six. Six green squares."

"How many red triangles?"

"Red triangles?"

"Yes."

Severus watched as Harry counted them. "One, two, three, four. Four red tri-an-les."

"Triangles."

"Triangles." Harry repeated and then picked up a shape. "Yellow square."

"That's a rectangle."

"Rec-tan-el?"

"Rec-tang-el."

"Rectangle."

There was a knock at the door. Severus looked at Harry.

"Who's that?"

"I don't know. Let's go see."

Harry got to the door first and twisted the handle to open the front door.

"Remus!"

"Hey, Harry." Remus looked up and smiled at Severus. "Just thought I would check up everyone and see how Lily was faring. Haven't been around much lately with everything going on."

"Lily is fine."

"Still on bed rest, I suppose."

"Yep."

"How's she feeling this time? She had a lot of morning sickness with the first two-with Harry."

"We're married. I know about the miscarriage."

Remus nodded. "`Course. Just wasn't sure."

Harry looked between them. "I learned how to write my name."

Remus smiled. "You did?"

"Want to see?"

Remus rubbed Harry's hair. "Sure."

Harry tugged on Remus's arm. "I have paper in the kitchen."

"Okay then." Remus followed Harry into the kitchen.

Severus sighed and shut the front door. He did not like Remus still, even if the man was nicer than Sirius, he still rubbed Severus the wrong way. Severus knew he needed to let it go now that he was an adult. He was married, he had a family and children on the way and it was well past time to let the grudges go, but he still could not completely let them all go.

Severus followed them to the kitchen.

Harry got a piece of paper and climbed onto a chair, sitting on his legs. "H-A-R-R-Y. Harry." He held up the paper. "See."

It was hard to read, but Remus smiled. "How did you learn to spell your name?"

"Daddy taught me."

Remus looked at Severus. "Who would have thought?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Thought what exactly?"

"The son of James calling you his dad and you calling Harry your son."

Severus grumbled. "Sirius."

"He told me what happened a couple weeks ago and keeps asking me to tell Lily that he's sorry. She apparently won't talk to him right now."

"Can you blame her? He almost got our-her-Harry killed."

"I'm sure it was an accident."

"Perhaps, but accidents are sometimes fatal, aren't they? Lily may be pregnant, but right now Harry is the only child she has and she loves him more than anything. It would devastate her if something happened to Harry-completely devastate her."

"I know. She's Harry's mother. She has every right to be upset and angry with Sirius, but it was still accident and Sirius feels terrible."

"You may as well go speak to Lily about it. She's awake most likely. She was when we were up there earlier anyway."

"Sirius isn't very happy with you."

Severus smirked. "Is he ever? It's a mutual understanding between us to not like each other."

"Says he's worried about Harry. Don't really know why."

"Worried? He almost got Harry killed and he is worried about Harry being with us? Lily is his mother, what's to worry about?"

"I figure he meant with you, but-"

Severus scoffed. "Harry's fine, isn't he?"

"Yes. Teaching him things. He seems perfectly fine, but won't be a consolation to Sirius. Maybe being a Professor suits you?"

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I am a Professor out of necessity, not desire."

"I figured that." Remus looked at Harry. "I think I will go speak with Lily and give her a birthday gift." He left the room.

Severus looked at Harry, who was scribbling on his paper. He decided to start dinner.

"Can I help?" Harry asked.

"Sure. Wash your hands and I'll let you pour some of the ingredients in the dish."

"Okay." Harry got off the chair and climbed onto the stool to the sink to wash his hands.

Severus did not really need the help since simple magic could do it all much quicker, but it would keep the kid busy.

Lily was reading a book when Remus walked in.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Sick, but that's a good thing always, means everything is going well. I am doing better though. My sickness is easing up and should go away for good soon. How are you doing?"

"Fine. Just fine."

"How's your dad?"

"Still not doing well."

"I'm sorry."

Remus shrugged. "I just wanted to check up on everyone.

"We're good."

"Brought you a gift too."

"Oh, thank you." Lily took the gift and opened it and gasped. "Wh-where-where did you find this?"

Remus cleared his throat. "A woman in Godric's Hollow. Said she was walking by it a couple weeks ago and saw something shiny so she looked closer and found this necklace in the lot. Muggle woman so she is unable to see anything."

Lily sighed heavily. "That's a good thing. I don't even want to see that house." Lily wiped the tears from her eyes. "I can't believe she found this. I didn't remember that I had it still."

Remus looked confused. "Wasn't it something James gave you?"

Lily shook her head. "No." She took a breath. "Severus did. When we were children. He found the stone by the river back home. It looked like an elephant and was split in two. He kept one and I kept the other. It was supposed to give us good luck and we made a pact that evening we found it-that when we went off to school in a couple days we would stay friends no matter what." She choked. "It was one promise I didn't keep."

Remus looked sympathetic. "You did keep it. Look at you now. You are friends, aren't you? More than friends even. So you lost touch for a couple years. You became friends again."

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry. Emotional pregnant woman." She took a deep breath. "Thank you and thank the woman who found it."

"She gave it to the police. Just so happened a wizard was by the station at the time and he contacted me and that's how I got it. Thought I would give it to you as a birthday gift."

"Well, thank you."

It was silent a moment. Remus broke it. "Know what you having yet?"

"No. I want to wait until I am half way through first. At my 20 week appointment, I will probably find out then."

"You waited awhile with Harry too."

"About 20 weeks. Learned too early the first time and then lost it so I don't want that again."

"Bet you have boys again."

"I will fine with whatever. Preference would be at least one girl to mix it up a bit since I already have a son, but we'll find out in a few weeks."

"I say boys. That's my vote."

"My neighbours all seem to think they are boys. Severus thinks I am becoming so convinced they are boys that they are both going to be girls."

"Does he want a son?"

Lily shrugged. "He doesn't seem to have a preference at all. I don't think he really ever though much about children until now that he never considered having a preference."

"Well, that's good."

"I think so. I'm glad he doesn't care. James wanted a son so I am glad our first child was a boy. Though if we had a daughter, I don't think he would have loved her any less. Severus knows that I would prefer a girl since I have a boy so I think he's hoping one is a girl for me."

"I still say boys because you want a girl."

Lily sighed and put the rattle toys to the side. "I love the gifts though. I am sure our sons or daughters, whichever they are will love them too. Need to start collecting things soon anyway. After we find out what we are having, we'll start gathering items. Severus will put everything up in the nursery when the babies arrive."

"Like James had to with Harry. I remember helping him get everything together."

Lily grinned. "He was quite frantic, wanting everything in good condition for his son." She felt a little pang in her heart at the memory. She would always miss James. She sighed. "Let's not get into a sad mode. I will be 24 tomorrow. Celebrate instead."

"No. A happy early birthday." Remus let out a breath and cleared his throat. "Sirius also told me to tell you once again how sorry he is."

Lily frowned. "I've already spoken to him once."

"He's afraid you will curse him if he speaks to you in person again."

"He ought to be."

Remus sighed. "He feels terrible."

"He should."

Remus huffed lightly. "Well, I really didn't need anything. I just wanted to check up on everyone and see how you are faring."

"We're all good."

Remus smiled. "Appears to be. When will you be off bed rest?"

"Tomorrow."

"For your birthday? That's good. I am glad everything is going well."

"It is."

There was a silence.

"Well, I best get going. I will talk to you again next week?"

"If I can go back to training. Right now I am on a break."

"Just let me know then. You know where to find me if you need anything."

"Thanks."

Remus left and Lily sighed. She was still not happy with Sirius and did not want to talk to him. It annoyed her that he had Remus come and be an owl for him. Still, she knew Sirius and Remus were each other's best friends now just like she and Severus were each other's best friends. Well, more than friends, but still best friends. She looked over the stone and wondered if Severus still had his or if it was lost in the explosion of his childhood home.

_Early March 1984_

Lily was lying on the couch, reading a book and covered in a soft blanket to keep warm.

Severus came into the room. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep." She got to her feet and touched her growing stomach.

"How are you feeling?"

"Nervous. And excited. I am thinking about finding out what we are having. The anticipation is killing me."

"I hope at least one is a girl."

Lily smiled. "I would like a daughter, but I'll be happy with whatever we have. Health is what is important. As long as they are healthy, I don't care."

Severus put his hand on her back. "But you would prefer to have a daughter."

"Well, it's either two boys or two girls so whatever we have is what we will be content with and get used to having."

"We don't have much choice now except to accept it."

"Remus thinks they are boys. So do most of our neighbours. I'm becoming so convinced they are goin' be boys that I have feeling they will end up being girls like you keep saying."

"My vote is girls. I like playing devil's advocate."

Lily smiled as Severus opened the back door. "We can find out shortly."

They apparated to the hospital. Lily sat down and put her hands on her stomach. "I can't believe I am twenty weeks already. Half-way through."

"Yeah."

"They'll arrive before we know it."

"Before we are ready-that I have no doubt."

A lady came out. "Snape."

Lily got to her feet with Severus.

"How are feeling today?"

"Pretty good. Swollen, but good."

"Good. I need you to pull up your robes so we can have a look at the babies and see if everything is going okay."

Lily did as told and the healer looked over Lily's growing stomach with a wand. "Baby A looks great. Good weight and size for its age. Nothing appears to be abnormal." She moved her wand. "Baby B also looks great. Good size and weight. Everything looks normal."

Severus smiled as he looked closer. "Is it sucking its thumb?"

"Yes, they start doing that about now."

Severus could see very, very tiny hands and feet and legs and arms. They were starting to look less like aliens and more like babies now.

"You want to know the gender yet?"

"What do you think, Sev? Should we find out today or wait?"

"It's up to you. I figure you are dying to find out."

"I'd like to learn."

"You sure you want to know now?"

Severus looked at Lily who nodded.

Lily felt goosebumps on her arms. "I would like to know. I think it'll make it easier-to prepare. I can figure out if I need to reuse Harry's things or we need new clothes."

"I would prefer to know." Severus figured it would make it more real to him if he knew what to expect and knowing the babies' genders would help him hopefully get more comfortable with the idea that he was going to have three children around in a couple months.

"Okay then." The lady did a spell. "All right, baby A. Baby A's genes and body parts show me a XX chromosome. So, you are having a girl."

Lily's eyes grew wide and she looked at Severus. Severus smiled at her. He knew Lily did hope for a girl this time so he was glad she was getting a daughter. It then hit them that he would also have a daughter. He saw a vision of a little Lily enter his mind and smiled at that with her auburn hair and emerald green eyes. He could live with that.

"A girl, huh? Your preference was for a girl, so you got what you wanted."

"A little girl. We are going to have a daughter."

"She looks very active too. You may have your hands full." The lady said.

Lily nodded. "I know. She kicks a lot."

She smiled and moved her wand. "And baby B is a XX chromosome so you are having another girl. Two girls. I was told you already know they are monozygotic-identical twins."

"Yes. Identical twin girls." Lily was happy to hear that they were girls. She wouldn't have been disappointed with boys, but she did hope for at least one girl. Now she was having two and she hoped that they would get along much better than her and her sister did and would stay close and not be Christmas card relatives like Petunia was to her. They only did those to be civil and Lily figured Petunia sent them just to brag on herself and son to someone.

"Harry won't be getting a brother." Severus said with a smile.

Lily laughed. "No, guess not. That's okay. He'll have to deal with two sisters instead. You may need to get him out and away from all the girl stuff from time to time."

"What would I do with Harry?"

"Anything that gets you and him away from all the women you two have to live with." Lily laughed.

Severus kissed her forehead. "I think I will be okay." Severus let out a heavy breath. "Two daughters. Never would have thought."

Lily smiled. "Two daughters. I hope-being twins and all-identical especially, that they will get along. I hope they are both witches."

Severus felt a pang in his heart at that and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. "No child born of you and of myself could be anything except a witch or wizard. Don't worry. Squibs aren't common. Besides, they are identical. If one isn't a witch, the other won't be either."

"I never neither met nor heard of a case of identical twins that were different like that. They share DNA; they will share their magical ability. Witches or Squibs, not one of each, guarantee it."

Lily felt herself relaxing. "We need names. We don't have any names yet."

"We do. We need some girl names. And we need to start making plans."

"Okay, dear. You have another appointment in two weeks. Don't hesitate to send me a note if you need anything. Take it easy. We want to keep those babies in you as long as we can."

Lily got off the table. "I will. Thanks."

Severus left the hospital with Lily.

"Two daughters. Twin daughters. I guess you were right. They were girls."

Severus smirked. "Yeah."

Lily sighed as they walked down the road. "We should probably start transitioning Harry to his new bedroom. I thought I would give him a choice of my old one or yours. The spare room would be just that-a spare for any guests, maybe a playroom even."

"Maybe both, part play, part guest with a bed and dresser?"

"That could work." Lily smiled and put her hand on Severus's arm as they apparated home. A family of three to a family of five would be quite a change for everyone.


	51. Chapter 51: Oh Barf

_Thanks to **8thWeasleykid, MarissaRosee, Tess4Aria, Cara-tanaka,** **Ujemaima, Kitana, GothGirl3030, Blazen, Krogasms, Professor Radar, Nannyandpotocrazy, PurplewolfDOTcom, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, MapleAidan, Narutonaruotlove, BlooDsuKkeR69, Phoenix1592,** and **Gyoro and Ururun** for the reviews. _

_**A/N**__: I chose to have them be girls because I thought it would be easier to see Severus with them and for Lily since she already has a son. _

_As for the Weasley twins and Lily/Sev's, remember that when they are born Harry will be about four so when he is in his fifth year of school, Sev/Lily's twins will be starting their first year, making the Weasley twins in their last year of school (Seventh year). I don't see it as likely at all that the Weasley boys would have much or anything to do with Severus and Lily's daughters. Not to mention that the twins may not be Gryffindors. Their mum was, but their dad was a Slytherin. They might end up anywhere. Being twins doesn't mean they will be in the same house (Padma and Pavarti-one Gryffindor, other Ravenclaw. Movies have them both as Gryffindor, I know, but they are in separate houses in the books.) _

**Chapter 51: Oh Barf!**

_Mid-March 1984_

Severus poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip.

"It's a beautiful day." Lily said as she put her fork down.

Severus looked out the kitchen window. "Too bad the look fools you. It's quite cold."

"Ugh." Lily moaned and clutched the top of chest under neck.

"What?" Severus asked.

"Nothing. Just this heartburn." She got up from the table. "I'm going to go check on the potion I have brewing."

Lily went into the lab, closing the lab door back. Severus heard Harry coming down the stairs. Harry entered the kitchen. Severus heard a sob and turned to Harry, who was in tears.

"What's the matter?" Severus asked.

Harry rubbed his eyes.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

Harry nodded, moving toward him. "I-I-saw-him."

"Who?"

"The monster. He came in-into-my-my room."

Severus picked Harry up. Harry laid his head on Severus's shoulder. Harry sniffed a few times.

"It's okay. It was just a dream. It wasn't real."

"I-I-saw him."

Severus walked over to the door with Harry in his arms. "I promise there aren't any monsters in your room. You're safe here."

"He came in-I-saw him."

"There aren't any monsters."

"He-he-shoots green light."

Severus paused in surprise. "Don't worry. You are safe here. I promise." Severus looked outside. "Look outside. See the birds."

Harry turned his head to look outside.

"See that one there by the window?"

"Yeah. What is it doing with the straw in its mouth?"

"She's probably building a nest."

Harry nodded. "That's-that's where they live. That's where birds live. They live in a nests."

"They do live in nests."

"Nests are their houses."

"They are bird's homes-houses." Severus paused, thinking about what he was saying and if it was right. "She is probably going to make a nest and lay her eggs in it."

Harry tilted his head in confusion. "Eggs?"

"Baby birds come out eggs."

"Eggs like we eat?"

"Sort of, but in those eggs a baby bird will hatch from them."

"Like Mummy's babies in her tummy will hatch?"

Severus laughed. "Something like that."

"Will she have two babies like Mummy?"

"She will probably have a few at once. Most birds lay a few eggs at a time."

"How did-how did the baby birds get in the eggs?"

"Well, uh, some eggs just become birds."

"How did Mummy get the babies in her tummy?"

Severus cleared his throat. "That's something to explain when you are older."

Harry cocked his head around behind Severus's arm. "Mummy."

Severus turned around to see Lily standing at the entrance to the kitchen, smiling. "How's the potion?"

"It's almost done."

Severus put Harry down. Harry went to Lily. Lily bent down to pick him up and she realized that was becoming harder to do.

"Here soon." She started, breathing hard. "I won't be able to pick you up."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because-my back won't be able to." Lily looked at Severus. "You best get going before you are late."

Severus nodded and chugged the last of his mug of coffee. He kissed Lily on the lips and felt a light kiss on his forehead by Harry. Severus rubbed Harry's hair. "See you all this evening."

"Bye."

After Severus left, Lily looked at Harry. "Why don't you go up and get dressed and I'll fix you some breakfast."

She set Harry down and watched him go upstairs with a smile.

_Late March 1984_

Severus was jarred awake by the sound of something in the room. "Huh? What?"

Lily gasped and Severus turned his head over to her side of the bed.

"What?" Severus asked, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the pitch-black room.

"Harry?" Lily asked, trying to let her eyes adjust as well.

Harry whimpered. "My tummy hurts." He sniffed.

Severus sighed and turned on the light. "It's just Harry. I'll go get him some medicine. You stay in bed." He groaned as he got off the bed. "Come on, Harry, let's go downstairs."

Severus carried Harry downstairs and to the lab. He put Harry down at the doorway. "You need to use the bathroom?"

Harry shook his head, holding his stomach. "My tummy hurts."

"I know. Let's get you some medicine and you can sleep it off."

As he opened the lab door, Harry started to cry and behave odd. Severus did not have a good feeling about Harry's belly ache. He conjured up a bowl quickly and put it under Harry's head. Harry whimpered uncomfortably, acting nervous. Harry started to retch and then threw up. Severus sighed as he cleaned up.

"So much for a good night's rest." He mumbled as he searched for stomach potion. He gave Harry the soother. Harry made a face.

"Yuck."

"It'll make your tummy feel better." Severus huffed. "Let's go back up to bed."

Harry paused, tears in his eyes. Severus picked Harry up and carried him upstairs. Harry whimpered and started to act funny again. Severus took Harry into the bathroom and put his head over the toilet. Harry whimpered and acted frightened. Severus put his hand on Harry's back and rubbed a little. Harry threw up again.

Lily entered the bathroom. "Everything okay?"

"He's sick."

"He threw up?"

"Twice so far. Gonna be a long night."

Lily shook her head. "Poor thing."

Severus looked over at Lily. "I think I should put him back to bed."

Lily nodded. "I'll put some towels down in case he wakes up and gets sick."

Severus carried Harry to his room. She put some towels down and Severus laid Harry in his bed and put the covers to his shoulders.

"I guess I need to cancel the meeting with my trainer tomorrow."

Severus almost forgot about Lily needing to do that. "You can't do that. You need to go."

"I can't leave Harry with our neighbours if he's got the stomach flu."

Severus sighed. "No, you go. I'll stay."

"You have classes."

"I will just cancel them tomorrow."

"That's a bad idea."

"Better then you missing your important meeting. It was just a review day anyway. The fifth and seventh years have been starting OWL and NEWT practice. I'll just post some assignments early in the morning and let Dumbledore know I can't make it."

"I'm his mother. I should stay."

"He'll be fine. You need to go to that meeting. I'll stay with Harry. It's not a big deal."

Lily did not say anything for a minute and then sighed. "Okay. Let's go to bed while he's asleep in case he starts getting sick again."

"Yep."

They crawled back into bed. Severus wasn't sure how long it was before he was startled awake.

"Mummy!" Harry cried.

Lily sat up and turned on the lamp. "I think he might me sick again."

"I've got him. You're the one getting up in the morning." Severus groaned as he got off the bed and went across the hall to Harry's bedroom. He flipped in the light and pinched the bridge of his nose as he saw vomit all over Harry's bed and himself.

"Great." Severus got Harry off the bed and removed the soiled covers and towels. Harry stood there, holding his stomach with tears streaming down his face. Severus got clean towels and sheets from the hall closet and put them on Harry's bed. "Let's give you a bath, okay?"

Harry nodded, tears glistening his eyes. "My tummy hurts."

"I know it does. Let's give you a bath and get you into some clean clothes." Severus took Harry to the bathroom and put him in the tub. He put Harry's dirty night clothes into the hamper and got Harry cleaned up.

Lily came in to check on them after she heard Severus giving Harry a bath. "He get sick again?"

"He threw up-everywhere. Gave him a bath."

"That's what I was afraid of."

Severus wrapped Harry in a towel and took him back to his bedroom. Lily tucked Harry in. Harry fell asleep quickly.

"Maybe he will start to feel better soon." Severus whispered as they left the bedroom.

"I hope so."

Severus and Lily were awoken to the sound of someone retching. Harry had thrown up on their floor. Lily and Severus both bolted out of the bed. Severus turned on the light.

Lily got out her wand to clean it up and Severus grabbed Harry, who was whimpering.

"It's almost six." Severus said as Harry snuggled against him.

"May as well stay up then."

Severus nodded and looked at Harry who was quite pale. Severus put his hands against Harry's cheeks. "He's got a little fever. Must have some sort of stomach flu."

Lily took Harry from Severus. "It appears so. You sure you don't want me to stay?"

"No. I'll dress and get to the school here so you can go to your meeting."

"You sure about this?"

"Our kid-we split the responsibility."

Lily smiled. "I think I will put him in our bed, if that's okay."

"Fine. It'll be easier to know when he wakes up anyway."

"Come on, sweetie. You're okay." She left the room and got some towels to lie down on their bed.

"My tummy is hurting."

"I know." She tucked Harry in the middle of their bed. "It'll feel better soon. You just have a bad bug."

Harry's eyes got wide. "A bug?"

"A germ. A bad germ. People just call it a bug. It's not a real bug."

Harry curled up in the covers and closed his eyes. Lily sighed to herself. She wished it was her instead who was sick. She slunk back into the bed beside of Harry and rested while Severus was gone.

Severus flooed to his office. He went to the potions room and posted a notice and the homework for his students to do while off for the day. He went to Dumbledore's office. The halls were still silent since the students were all still in bed. He knew he wouldn't even be up yet if he didn't need to stay home today. He knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Severus entered to Dumbledore sitting at his desk, already wide-awake.

"Morning, Severus. You are here early. Rough night?"

"You could say that. I won't be able to come today. Harry caught some stomach flu and spent half the night throwing up. Lily has to go to an important meeting today so I need to watch Harry. No one wants to babysit for someone else's sick kid."

Dumbledore nodded. "No problem, Severus. I will make the announcement at breakfast. Tell Lily good luck with the meeting and I hope Harry feels better."

"Thank you. Good day." Severus left and went back home. He crawled back into bed with Lily.

Severus was woken up by Harry almost an hour later. Harry started to vomit before Severus could even sit up. He conjured up a bowl quickly to catch the rest. Severus tried to not groan at the vomit that was on his night shirt now. Lily came rushing into the bedroom upon hearing Harry get sick.

"He's okay." Severus reassured her.

"It's going to be a long day for you. I wish I could stay."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure his stomach will settle soon. You go and do what you need to do. Don't feel guilty for leaving Harry. He'll be okay."

Lily smiled for a second and sighed. "I know. I trust you to take care of him."

"Besides-it's best if you stay away. You're pregnant and it won't be good to get sick."

"No. It won't harm the babies as long as I stay hydrated, but it's best to avoid it if possible."

"See?" Severus rubbed Harry's back gently. He hoped Harry would go back to sleep again and start feeling better.

"Okay. I love you two. I'll see you both later this afternoon."

"Bye. Love you too."

Lily left them with a heavy sigh. It was going to be a long day, leaving her sick kid home while she did her job, but she needed to go. She knew Harry would be fine with Severus and that Severus would take good care of him, but that did not make her any happier to leave him behind.

"I need to go potty." Harry said. Severus took Harry to the bathroom.

Severus decided to get up for the day once Harry had gone back to sleep. He changed clothes and went downstairs to start some coffee. He would need it today. Severus sat down in his chair and hoped Harry would not vomit all over their bed or start to have diarrhoea again. He figured he better get used to the messes like that though with two babies coming.

Harry managed to stay asleep for a couple hours before waking up sick again. Severus brought Harry downstairs to keep an eye on him. Harry seemed to be feeling a little better after he had gotten sick and gone to the bathroom again. Severus turned on some cartoons and Harry fell asleep. He woke up an hour later and did not throw up or have diarrhoea. Severus decided to see if Harry could stomach anything. He gave Harry some banana pieces. Harry threw them back up.

Severus waited awhile before trying anything else. Harry spent the rest of the morning and into the afternoon sleeping and watching cartoons. Severus tried some rice and chicken soup, but Harry's stomach rejected both. He decided to not try any more foods that day.

Lily arrived home to Severus lying on the couch with a sleeping Harry. "Hey." She whispered. "How is he?"

"He got sick and had diarrhoea a couple times, but he's doing better. I tried giving him a little bit of food, but his stomach wouldn't have any of it."

Lily took off her coat and sat at the edge of the couch. "At least he's feeling a little better anyway." She turned to Severus. "Thanks for watching him today. I appreciate it."

"It was not a problem. I got caught up on a few things as a result. He watched telly and slept most of the day. Made it easy."

Harry woke up. "Mummy."

"Hey, sweetie. Are you feeling better?"

Harry nodded. "My tummy doesn't hurt any mores."

"That's good. I'm glad."

"I want pizza."

Lily laughed. "How about we try a little soup again first?" She got some of the chicken soup and heated it up. She gave it to Harry. This time, his stomach seemed to take it.

"He told me he was hungry earlier, but his stomach didn't agree."

"Now it is. That's a good sign. I'll probably keep him from school tomorrow just to be on the safe side, but I will stay home with him. You can go back to work."

Severus sighed. "As long as they don't puke in my classroom. Don't want to clean any more puke for awhile."

_Two days later_

Severus woke up to Lily shoving his shoulder. He moaned.

"Come on. Wake up, Sev. You are going to be late for work if you don't get moving."

Lily sighed as she left the room. Severus groaned as he looked outside at the gray clouds. He moaned to himself as he rolled out of the bed. He went to the bathroom to get ready for work. His stomach gurgled as he showered and ached a little bit. He brushed it off and went downstairs. The smell of eggs made his stomach churn as he came into the kitchen.

Lily turned as he entered the kitchen. "Morning-" She frowned. "You don't look so good, honey."

Severus let out a deep breath. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Maybe you should stay home."

Severus shook his head. "I will be okay. I'll feel better once I get moving."

"I hope you didn't catch Harry's stomach flu."

Severus ran his hand through his hair. "I think I will skip breakfast and head on to work. I will see you all this evening."

He left the kitchen and went to the fireplace in the living room.

Lily looked at Harry, who was sitting at the table and went into the living room. "Are you sure you want to go?"

Severus turned to Lily. "I will be fine."

Lily raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "You really don't look well."

"I should be fine." He flooed to his office and the ride made his stomach queasier. He was glad to have neglected any food that morning. He got his things together and drank some stomach soother.

Severus was not sure how he made through his first class. After they left, he went to his quarters. His stomach rumbled bitterly. As he tried to get himself to head for his next class, the nausea overwhelmed him and he felt bile rise up his throat. He hurried for the bathroom to throw up.

He collapsed onto the couch. Lily was right. He should not have come to work. He forced himself to roll off the couch and back to the classroom. Students were already arriving. He put up a sign on the door.

"Potions classes for the rest of the day are cancelled." He managed to say without retching. He went back to his quarters to throw up again.

Severus let his stomach calm down a little before deciding to head on home. He headed for his office and was stopped by Dumbledore.

"Morning, Severus-you look ill. Feeling under the weather?"

Severus glared at Dumbledore. "I'm going to head home and go to bed."

"That's probably a good idea. Feel better. Ginger tea with some peppermint is always good for soothing an upset stomach."

"I just need rest. Back tomorrow." He entered his office and flooed home. He shut his eyes open landing to not throw up on the carpet.

"Back already?" Lily asked from the couch as she saw him enter. "You look even worse than this morning."

"I'm going to go lay down." Severus slowly climbed the stairs.

Harry looked up at Lily from the floor. "Is he sick?"

"I think so."

Severus went into the bathroom to throw up again. He sat down by the tub to catch his breath and grabbed at his stomach.

Lily got up from the couch and went upstairs a few minutes later to check on him. She saw the bathroom door shut and the light on. She knocked on it. "Sev?"

Severus heard a knock and Lily's voice. The door opened before he could answer.

"God, you look awful."

"I'll be fine. Just a little sick is all."

Lily scoffed. "A little? You are more than a little sick." She wrung out a cold towel and went to put it on his forehead. "You still feel like you are about to vomit or do you want to try and get to bed."

"I'll sleep in my old room so you won't catch anything."

"Nonsense. I will use one of the old beds. You need your rest on a comfortable bed you are used to sleeping on."

"I think I will stay here for awhile. My stomach is still acting up."

Lily looked sympathetic. "I'm going to get you something to drink." She got to her feet unsteadily. "Guess spending the day with Harry didn't do you any good. You caught his stomach flu."

Severus groaned to himself and shut his eyes.

She went downstairs and to the kitchen. Harry followed her.

"What are you doin?"

"Fixing some ginger tea for your dad. He doesn't feel well." Lily sighed as she made the tea and then stopped suddenly as she realized what she had said. Harry did not seem to care.

Harry followed her back up the stairs. Lily knocked on the bathroom door. "Sev?" She jumped slightly as she heard him vomiting. She waited until she heard the toilet flush before opening the door. "No, Harry, stay out here." Lily went into the bathroom. "Brought you some tea and stomach soother."

"Thanks." He mumbled, getting to his feet slowly, using the tub to help himself up. He could feel himself shaking as he took the mug from her. "I'm going to bed."

"That's a good idea."

His legs were wobbly. He walked at a snail's pace to their bedroom, not wanting to jar his stomach. He got out of his robes and into his night clothes. He tossed the covers back carelessly and collapsed onto the bed. Severus curled up in the blankets, moaning. The cold pillow cooled his burning head. He fell asleep quickly.

Lily was downstairs when there was a whoosh from the fireplace. Harry turned with a start. Lily raised her eyebrow at the sight of McGonagall.

"Oh-Professor"

"Is Professor Snape here?" Her eyes drifted to Lily's protruding stomach and glared in shock, but she said nothing.

Lily shook her head from the surprise. "Um, yes. He's upstairs sleeping, but I wouldn't bother him. He's quite sick."

"I saw the note on the door. He's meant to stay tonight though. Thought I would see what is wrong to know if he will make it."

Lily shook her head. "No. He's very ill. He's been throwing up so I don't think it's a good idea."

"He caught that stomach virus going around then?"

"Harry had it a couple days ago so I am sure he got it from him. Hope I'm not next."

She nodded. "Tell him I will take over his shift tonight. He owes me a night however.

Lily laughed. "I'll tell him."

"I hope he feels better soon."

"We do too. It seems to be a 24 hour bug so he'll probably be better tomorrow."

McGonagall nodded. "Nice to see you again, Lily."

"You as well. Take care."

"And good luck to you. Didn't waste any time." She looked down at Lily's stomach.

Lily felt her cheeks burn slightly. "Um, thanks."

"Severus didn't say you were with child already. When are you due?"

"We haven't really told many people. On the down low. And um, oh, we are having two so they will probably be born early, but end of July, beginning of August is when they are due." Lily hoped she wouldn't do the math in her head to figure out that Lily conceived before their marriage.

"Two? You're having twins?" McGonagall grinned slightly for a moment. "That's wonderful. You'll need a lot of luck then."

Lily smiled. "We'll manage. You have a nice day. And thank you."

Lily watched McGonagall leave and turned back to Harry. "Okay. I wanted to order a chicken pot pie."

Harry nodded and pretended to make some food. He gave an empty bowl to Lily. "Here's your pie."

Lily pretended to eat it. "It's good."

"Do the babies eat in your tummy?"

"Yes, a little. They get food from what I eat."

"When will the babies come out of your tummy?" Harry asked, touching her stomach.

"Not for awhile."

"Why can't they come now?"

"Because they are not ready. They are growing in my tummy. When they get big and strong enough, they will come out."

Severus woke up to rain splashing the window panes. His stomach heaved and he bolted out of the bed and for the bathroom. He threw himself back onto his bed with a heavy groan afterward. The room was silent except for the rain pounding against the window and the faint noises of Lily and Harry downstairs. He shut his heavy eyes again.

By the late afternoon, Severus thought he had thrown up his actual stomach. "You-you're gonna get yourself-sick if you stay in here-with me." Severus said through heavy breaths.

Lily shook her head, holding the cold towel against his head. "Nonsense. If I do, it's the luck of living with a three year old who spends most days with other three year olds."

"You don't want this-terrible."

"I can see that. You and Harry have both been quite sick. You have a nasty fever too. I'm sorry you're ill."

"Better me than you. I'm not-pregnant."

"My work doesn't end because I'm pregnant."

"At least I know how Harry felt." He moaned, turning to his side on the bed.

"Are you drinking enough?"

"Water and tea. You've been-filling me up-with them. Just throwing them-back up."

"Well, it's not all come back up. Best to stay hydrated." She started to rub his back.

Severus opened his eyes. "You don't want to get so close."

"I'll live. The babies will be fine, okay? I had a nasty stomach flu when I was pregnant with Harry-around 22 weeks and I just stayed hydrated best I could. Harry turned out fine. The babies will too if I happen to catch the virus. Doesn't mean I will anyway."

"Easy on pressing. My stomach's-a mess."

"I will." She sighed to herself as she caressed his back. She wished he would feel better and hoped she would not catch it too. "You know, when you feel better, maybe this weekend, we should leave Harry with a sitter and go out for the evening."

"And do what?"

"Have dinner? Spend time to ourselves? See an old film at the theatre? Go take a trip into Diagon Alley or Hogmead? Anything that we can't do once I get into the third trimester and will hardly be able to move and before the babies arrive and take over our lives."

"Whatever you want to do-that's fine by me."

"Maybe dinner and a trip through Hogmead for old times' sake? There's this great restaurant in town that serves some of the best Italian food."

"Don't talk about food."

Lily laughed. "Sorry. Guess you aren't ready to see if your stomach can handle some chicken soup yet?"

Severus moaned.

"That'll be a no." She sighed. "You remember that time in third year when we snuck out after dark just to explore the castle?"

Severus sighed contently and nodded as she stroked up his shirt between his shoulder blades. He listened to her recalling that night they had explored the castle alone and sighed to himself. He closed his heavy eyes and drifted back to sleep, happy memories of their childhood clouding his mind.


	52. Chapter 52: Preparations

_Thanks to and for the reviews. *Trouble getting names up. Will try to put up tomorrow. _

_A/N: This took awhile to get up, I know. Been quite busy lately. I warned I might get busy and the updates would be less frequent. I am fine to those who've asked how I'm doing, just very busy. Very kind of you to wonder if everything is going okay. And to SnilyFanForever-I don't know how I'm responsible keeping your die-hard fans waiting because I didn't update. Colour me a bit confused. ;) _

**Chapter 52: Preparations**

_That Weekend_

"You got it?" Severus asked, giving Harry the basket of clean clothes.

"Yeah."

"Let's take it upstairs."

"Then we can fold it and then we can put it up."

"Yes."

Severus followed Harry up the stairs. The kid took his time going up the steps. Patience was one thing he was definitely learning having Harry around. He had definitely learned to be a lot more patient, which was good. He figured with three children around the house in four months he would need all the patience he could get.

Lily hummed to herself as she put on earrings. Harry came into the bedroom with a basket of clothes.

"What're you doin', Mummy? Are you leaving?"

"Yes. For a little bit."

"Is daddy going too?"

"Yes, we are leaving in a few minutes."

"Where?"

"We are going to eat."

"Can I go too?"

"Not today. This is just for adults. We'll go do something fun tomorrow. You're going over to Lupin's this evening."

"To Remus's?"

"Yep."

Harry held up the basket a little, tipping it slightly as he became top heavy, knocking a shirt out of the basket. "Woah."

Severus grabbed the basket's edge. "Woah is right. Let's set it on the bed."

"We did the laundry." Harry said with his eyes beaming.

"I see that. You did a great job. Thank you very much."

"Laundry is all done. Two loads today and it's not even the day to wash the sheets."

"I helped." Harry climbed onto the bed and took a shirt out of the basket. "I helped wash and-and I dried it too."

"Sounds like you are a wonderful little helper."

"I was a good helper. Right? Right, Daddy?"

"You were a great helper. Couldn't have done it without you."

"Wait until the babies arrive. You'll appreciate only two loads." She got to her feet with a huff.

Severus turned to her as he folded the last towel. "You about ready?"

She sighed. "I look huge even in these robes. I look like I am eight months pregnant, almost ready to pop."

"You look beautiful. Stop worrying."

"Men always say that. First James tried to convince me I looked beautiful as a humongous pregnant lady and now you are doing it too."

"Maybe it's because you are."

"I disagree. I feel like a bloated blimp." She touched her stomach. "Anyway, I'm ready if you are."

"I'm ready once I put Harry's clothes away."

"I can do it." Harry said, holding his hands out for the handful of items Severus had in his hands.

"Okay then." Severus handed Harry the clothes and Harry left the room. "He'll call for help once he realizes he can't reach the hangers in the closet."

Lily laughed. "Let him try anyway. It's good for him to be a little independent. Though I don't like it."

"What? Him being independent?"

She sighed heavily. "It means he's growing up and I don't like that."

Severus put a hand on her shoulder. "He has to grow up. He can't stay three forever."

"I know, but I don't have to like it. I can't believe he'll be about four when the babies get here."

"It doesn't have to be all bad, you know. It's why you had a child, right? To raise one?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah. That is the point. To raise them up to be good people, good citizens."

Harry came into the room. "All done."

"What about your shirt?"

"I put it away."

"Where?"

"In a drawer."

Lily looked at Severus. "Good enough. Let's worry about it later."

0o0o0o

Severus put his hand on Lily's back as they walked and rubbed it a little as she cringed.

"This is going to be it. I don't want to be pregnant again."

"Fine with me. Three children will be more than enough in the house."

"Three is plenty."

Lily stopped at a parlour in front of them. "You remember when we were eleven and came here together. We got ice cream here."

Severus smiled. "Yeah."

"Look at that. Snape's finally decided to grace our world with his presence again."

Severus and Lily both turned to see one of his old housemates standing there with a blonde-haired woman. Severus recognized her as being a couple years below them in school.

"So, the rumours are true. You were protecting the mudblood the entire time. Heard you even married it."

Severus frowned. The woman's eyes grew wide as she looked at Lily.

"You're lucky the Dark Lord is gone." The large, burly, almost white-haired man spoke, a snarl on his upper lip as he looked at Lily with disgust.

"Lucky you were able to fake being under the Imperious."

"You were a promising death eater. Pity you chose to flip and not only flip, but to lie with a mudblood and spawn with one?"

Lily felt Severus grip her robes tighter on her lower back.

"Do not speak about my wife that way." Severus hissed bitterly, narrowing his eyes to slits.

"Knew you had a crush on the mudblood once. Thought you grew out of it, but that's obviously not the case as she stands beside you with a wedding band on her finger ready to pop out your offspring. Couldn't even wait until the wedding night to knock her up?"

"I am not about to have a baby. I still have a few months."

"Let's go have some dinner, honey." Severus glared at man.

They left and went to the restaurant. "What would you two like to eat this evening?"

"I'd like the beef vegetable soup with your famous bread and butter." Lily said.

"That sounds good. I'll have the same."

"Anything to drink? Some ale or butterbeer or imported wine?"

"I'll take a butterbeer." Severus answered.

"Just some water, please."

The woman smiled at Lily. "When are you due?"

"End of July. I've just gained a lot of weight already."

"Is it your first?"

"No. I-we-we have a three year old."

"Well, congratulations and good luck to you two. Your dinner should be ready momentarily."

They ate their meal slowly, savouring the time alone they rarely got much of even with only one child in the house.

It was late by the time they arrived to get Harry from Lupin's and Harry was sleeping on the couch.

"He was great. Behaved really well."

Lily grinned. "Thanks for watching him."

"No problem. I wasn't doing anything anyway. I hope you two enjoyed your night out."

"We did. It was very lovely."

Severus started to pick Harry up when Harry opened his eyes.

"Daddy?"

"Come on, let's go home." He picked Harry up. Harry laid his head on Severus's shoulder.

"Since you can't train and Harry started preschool, I haven't seen Harry as much so it gave me something to do for the evening."

Lily sighed to herself. "You really ought to consider going out and meeting up with people. Maybe find a date."

"I don't want to date. With my condition, it's off limits."

"You don't have to do anything with the girl, just date and hang out together. There are girls who wouldn't care about your condition. Don't isolate yourself as a result."

Remus sighed and slowly shook his head. "Night, Lily."

"Night, Remus."

"Severus."

Severus gave a nod.

"And Harry."

Severus opened the front door.

"Is he asleep again?" Lily asked.

Severus nodded. "Out like a light."

They left the house and went home. Severus put Harry into his bed. "I think I'll go on to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Me too. I'm carrying extra weight with two babies and a placenta."

Severus rubbed her shoulders. "Let's go get some rest."

_Mid-April 1984_

"Put this in the box over there." She said to Harry, handing him an old toy.

Harry put it in a box.

"Should we give this away? You haven't played with it for awhile." Lily held up another toy.

"No." Harry took the toy.

Lily sighed. "Harry, we can't keep all your old things. Things you don't play with anymore need to be given away."

"To the babies?"

"If you want or to charity."

"Chair-te?"

"Charity is where we give your old toys to another place and they give those toys to another child who doesn't really have toys."

Harry appeared to be thinking. "The babies can have this one."

"That's very sweet. I am sure your sisters will love to play with it when they get bigger."

"Are they coming out yet?"

Lily shook her head. "No, not yet. We still have some time."

"Are the babies-are the babies going to sleep in my room?"

"No." Severus answered and Harry turned to the doorway, startled. "They won't sleep in a room with you."

"Will they have their own-their own beds?"

"Yes. They will sleep in cradles first and when they get bigger they will move into cribs."

"Is this going to be daddy's room?"

"This is going to be the babies' room." Lily stated. "You are getting a new room, remember?"

"Dad's old room?"

"That's the room you wanted. This is going to be the nursery once the babies' arrive." Lily said as she fixed a broken toy.

"What's a nurs-ry?"

"It's a room for babies to sleep and play." Severus answered as he removed Harry's bedding.

"They are going to sleep in here?"

Lily nodded. "Uh-hmm. And you are moving into a new room too."

"Is my bed staying here for the babies-when they get big-when they get bigger?"

Lily laughed. "No, sweetie. All your furniture is going to the new room. All the toys you want to keep are going into your new room too."

"What're you going to do with the stuff that was-that was in daddy's room."

"It's in our room or being given away. We don't need the extra bed or dresser anymore."

Severus removed Harry's mattress and started to undo the bed. He lifted Harry's bed and left the room with it. Harry followed Severus. Severus put the bed down. Harry looked around the mostly empty bedroom.

"Why don't you-you use a twister?"

Severus raised an eyebrow as he fixed the bed. "A twister?"

"You twist stuff with it."

Severus looked at Harry for a moment. "Oh, you mean a screwdriver. I don't need it. I have my wand to do that stuff."

"Why don't Charlie and Mr. William use wands?"

"Because they aren't wizards."

"Will I have to use a screwdiver when I am big like you and Mr. Charlie?"

"No. You'll get a wand when you turn eleven."

"Am I wizard like you?"

"Yes. You'll get to use a wand to put things together."

"When I grow up I'll get wand."

"Yep."

Severus put Harry's mattress on the bed. Harry watched Severus make his bed back with his sheets and comforter. Lily entered the bedroom with a box. She opened the closet and started to unpack.

"Will the babies' be wizards?"

"They'll be witches like your mum."

"Girls are witches and boys are wizards."

"That's right."

Severus put a box under Harry's bed. Harry picked up a stone as he helped Lily put his toys in the closet. "What's this?"

Lily took the item from Harry and gasped.

Severus heard her gasp and in a hurry to see what was going on, hit his head against the bed post. He grumbled and rubbed the top of his head. "What?"

"I found it."

"What?"

"The other half of the stone. You kept it."

Severus grinned. "I wasn't going to throw it. One of a few things I guess that survived all these years with moving around after school and then the house explosion. Wasn't sure if I still had it."

Lily felt a kick at her stomach as the babies moved around.

"Does your tummy hurt?"

"No. One of your sisters' kicked."

"They can kick in your tummy."

"Yep. They move around a lot too." Lily took Harry's hand and put it on her belly. The baby kicked. Harry looked shocked. "That was her foot."

"Is she-is she saying hello?"

"Yeah, maybe. Hello big brother."

Lily huffed and got to her feet slowly, holding onto the doorframe. "I'm tired."

"Why don't you go take a nap? Harry and I can work on the room."

"Yeah, we can do it all by ourself."

Lily smiled. "Okay. I'll take a little nap and then we can go shopping." She left the room and went to her bedroom. She sat on the bed and slowly laid down on her back, moving to her side very shortly as lying on her back was very uncomfortable.

"Are we going to buy food?"

"No, we are going to look for some baby things. Cradles and cribs and dressers and other things for the baby."

Severus put the dresser, nightstand and toybox in Harry's room.

"I like my new room."

"Good. `Cause you're stuck with it." Severus looked at the room. "You want some lunch yet?"

"Yeah."

"Well, let's go down and see what we've got to eat."

_Two weeks later_

Lily let out a moan as Severus rubbed her back. "I can't wait until the babies arrive. My back is killing me and we still have about eleven or so weeks to go."

"Probably less considering you're having two. The healer expects you to deliver early."

"I know." She sighed lightly. "You know what?"

"What?"

"We still need names."

"I don't have any."Severus said.

"We need names. We can't have our children be nameless."

"You have any ideas?"

"Not many. Just a few." She summoned a book over with her wand and opened it with a sigh.

"Well...what are they?"

"Well, I kind of like Ruby."

"Ruby?" Severus pondered. "I don't mind it."

"Rubies are very special gemstones. Love and vitality. Warmth and passion. I think it fits."

"I like Ruby, but we are having two children and they can't both be Ruby."

"Why not?" Lily grinned. "Ruby I and Ruby II."

Severus set the Chrysanthemums on the floor. "What about Chrysanthemum?"

Lily pondered that. "I like it, but it seems a bit long. Maybe we can shorten it-give her a nickname?"

"Chrissa?"

Lily smiled at that. "Chrissa. Chrysanthemum Snape. Chrissa Snape. I like that a lot. I like Ruby and Chrysanthemum, but I want to keep looking."

"We need middle names too. We could use Lily as a middle name."

Lily scrunched up her nose and shook her head. "Nah. I don't want to give them my name. They need their own."

"You named Harry after his dad. Harry James."

"James insisted. He wanted James Junior, but I wanted Harry to have his own name. I wanted to name him Henry after my grandfather, but he didn't like that. He liked Harry though and Harry's a form of Henry so I went with it and agreed to put James's name in the middle."

"So no Ruby Lily?" He shook his head at that. "It doesn't flow well. Chrysanthemum Lily does."

"Well, Ruby is a gemstone and Chrysanthemum is a flower. We could name one after you, Severina?"

"No, we don't need to name one of daughters after me. We can go with other names, but I am not naming them after Roman muggle rulers or me."

"I like your name." She sighed. "Okay, fine. No Severina. We'll keep looking."

Lily looked through some more books with him. "Chrissa Garnet? Ruby Garnet? Garnet Chrysanthemum? Garnet Ruby?"

Severus shook his head. "No."

"Amber? Chrysanthemum Amber? Amber Chrysanthemum? Ruby Amber? Amber Ruby?"

He shook his head with her.

"I don't like it either. Chrysanthemum Jade? Jade Chrysanthemum? Ruby Jade isn't bad, Sev. No? Jade Ruby." Lily let out a little huff. "You don't have to shake your head. I don't like it together."

"Sorry. I just don't like the name Jade."

"Morganite? Chrysanthemum Morganite? Morganite Chrysanthemum? Ruby Morganite? Morganite Ruby? Alexandrite? Chrysanthemum Alexandrite? Ruby Alexandrite? I don't like Morganite or Alexandrite as names."

"Me either. Morgan or Alex as nicknames is not appealing to me. Nah."

"Beryl? Chrysanthemum Beryl? No, not going on. Sounds like Earl and I don't like it."

"None of them sound good with Chrysanthemum or Chrissa if you are going for that name. Some sound nice with Ruby, but I don't like any of the other names so far."

"What about Amethyst? Chrysanthemum Amethyst? Ruby Amethyst? Amethyst Ruby?"

Severus shook his head. "Chrysanthemum Opal?"

Lily started to shake her head, but stopped. "Chrissa Opal? Black opals are good luck and that was actually my great-grandmother's name."

"It doesn't sound so bad. I like it better than the others for sure."

"Chrysanthemum Opal Snape. COS would be her initials. Chrissa Opal Snape. Chrissa Snape. I'll come back to it. Not sure if I like Opal. Opal Chrysanthemum isn't clicking for me."

"Maybe we can name her something besides a gemstone?"

"I just thought we would stick to a pattern a bit."

"Just don't do a Jack and Jill theme for naming. That would annoy me if I had been a twin. Rhyme or same letter naming or both name first letter and rhyme like Jennifer and Jessica or Bob and Bill."

"Don't worry-I wasn't. I don't like even calling them the twins. They may be identical, but they aren't going to be the exact same person. They will have their own like and dislikes and interests and personalities and abilities as well."

"Exactly. I don't want them purposely dressed alike either because it looks, dare I say it, cute?"

"Well, they may want to. I used to want to dress like my sister sometimes. Annoyed her to no end, but the point is, if they want to dress alike then I am okay with that. Of course, I want that to be their decision-to dress alike or not. I will give them different outfits."

"I have a feeling we will spend a lot of time saying Child A is in the blue dress and Child B is in purple shirt and blue pants."

Lily laughed. "Oh, probably. They are identical so they will probably look alike for the most part, but not completely. They will share the same DNA and all. Figure it will be annoying to them, but I am sure we will be able to tell the difference. We're their parents after all. We'll get to know them and discover just what they are all about."

Severus grinned slightly. He was starting to get used to the idea of a child, but twins still hadn't quite sunk in. Being a father to three children was never part of the plan. Not that he had a plan, but those plans did not include children because he was not a fatherly man. He guessed he would have to learn to be, but three children were far from anything he ever imagined.

"Well, we are having two children so guess what?"

"What?" He asked, confused at what that menat.

"We've done our duty to evolution and replaced ourselves so no more children. I'll have three so I am good with that."

"Yeah, three children. Me with three-don't know where my dignity went."

"Oh, you'll be wonderful. You'll love those girls to pieces and be great with them. You worry too much."

"I've never been around infants, Lily. When Harry came here, he was basically a toddler. He could say some words and walk around-even run around. He could play with toys and fumble up and slide down the steps. The babies will be far more helpless."

"You'll love them when you see them and fall madly in love when you hold them for the first time. It won't matter. You'll learn. I didn't really have any baby experience when Harry was born. I learned and you will too. Stop worrying."

Severus sighed. "We still don't have a list of names to go from really. Don't have four names we like for them yet."

"We'll have to come up with something by the time they arrive. Can't leave the hospital with unnamed infants." She skimmed through the book. "Let's see here. Acacia? I don't mind that."

"Not too bad, but I don't know."

"Me either, but we can put it down. Ambrosia?"

"Isn't Ambrosia a dessert?"

Lily laughed. "Skip that one. What about Azalea?"

"Not bad. I'll write it down. Begonia?"

"Absolutely not."

"Don't worry. I was certain that was a no. What sort of name is Begonia? How about Camellia?"

"That's not bad. It's kind of cute. Camellia sounds nice as a first or middle name to me. What about Cassia? Like the tree?"

"Eh, not liking much. Cassia as a first name would be okay, but I don't know. I'll write it down for now."

"Cassia isn't bad."

"What about Daisy?"

"No. I don't like the name Daisy much. What about Ruby Fern?"

Severus huffed. "Fern? Are you serious?"

"Fern's not that bad." Lily tried to not laugh at the look on his face. "Okay, we'll keep going. How about Heather?"

"Only if you want something that will rhyme with leather."

"Hyacinth? Or Hyacintha?"

"No."

"What about Iris?"

"That's also part of the human eye."

"What about Oleander?"

"Oleander?"

"Well. It's a bush with pretty pink, white or purple flowers. Very lovely."

"No. I don't like it. What about Violet? Colour and a flower?"

"I don't mind it. Keep it on the list."

Severus wrote it down.

"Zinnia? That's not too bad."

"Nah."

"So what do we have?"

"Acacia. We have Ruby Acacia, Acacia Ruby, Chrysanthemum Acacia or Acacia Chrysanthemum? Acacia Azalea?"

"No, scratch off Acacia."

"No Acacia."

"Ruby Azalea, Azalea Chrysanthemum, Opal Azalea, Azalea Opal, Azalea Ruby? Camellia Azalea?"

"I don't like Azalea Chrysanthemum, or Opal with it."

"I don't like the a's at the end for both the first and middle names."

"I don't either. Camellia Opal? Ruby Camellia-"

"I don't mind Azalea or Camellia as first names either."

"I think they are nice too."

"What about Violet? Ruby Violet? Violet Ruby? No. Violet Opal. Opal Violet?"

"No."

"Azalea Violet. Violet Azalea."

"No and don't like with Chrysanthemum either." He let out a huff. "This isn't going very well. Maybe we should look at other names too-besides gemstones and flowers for the first and middle names. We aren't settling on much here."

"We like a few similar names."

"A bigger list is better. Gives us more to go off of and play around with."

"Maybe we can name them after goddesses?"

"I like that. We can keep Chrysanthemum, Ruby, Azalea, Opal and Camellia on the list for now."

"What about Cassia? I don't mind it as a first name."

"Eh."

"Not liking it? Okay, scratch it off then." Lily looked through the book. "What about Alethia? The goddess of truth?"

"It's okay."

"Artemis? Never mind. Don't like it. Asteria?"

"I think that's an island. Prefer to not name a child after an island."

"Okay, then. How about Athena?"

"Too Greek."

"Cynthia?"

"Like Hyacinth?" He shook his head.

"I don't like it much either."

Severus looked over the book with her. "Galene?"

"It's okay."

"Maia?"

"I like the name. You can put it down."

"Rhea?"

"I like that too. And Selene. It's pretty as well."

"So we have Chrysanthemum, Ruby, Azalea, Camellia, Opal-"

"Strike out Opal."

"Okay." He crossed it out. "Maia, Rhea, Selene, Galene and Alethia on there too. I don't care for Galene much so I'm scratching it off."

"Okay, so we have about eight names and need to narrow it down even more."

They discussed the names for the next hour before settling on four names they both thought sounded nice together.

Lily crawled into bed beside him, lying on her right side.

Severus laid in bed, looking at the ceiling.

"Don't worry, Sev, you'll be just fine."

He turned his head to her, raising an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? Fine at what?"

"Being a father."

He let out a light huff. "I just hope I don't end up like mine."

"Do you want to be like your father?"

"No."

"Then you'll won't be-you'll be fine." She leaned over and kissed his lips. "Night, Sev." She watched him close his eyes with a nod.

"Night, Lily."

Lily closed her eyes. Just a few more weeks.


	53. Chapter 53: Early Birds Catch the Worm

_Thanks to __**Neo-digi, MarissaRosee, Cara-tanaka, Ranma's Girl1, Phoenix1592, Beauty and Bleeding, TOWTLS, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, Megumisakura, Rezo, Bea, Blazen, PurplewolfDOTcom, Ujemaima, DesirePassion, RedStalkingDeath**__ and __**Gyoro and Ururun**__ for the reviews. _

_A/N: As for Chrysanthemum, it's not only used for funerals. It's a symbol of optimism and joy as well. It's the November birth flower and the 13__th__ Anniversary flower. Did you know that Japan has a "Festival of Happiness" each year dedicated to this flower? Only in a few countries does it have that use. Here in the states it's not used that way and I've seen every flower under the sun on graves here. There is a cute story called Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes. I remember reading it in primary school. _

_I meant nothing against anyone's name in the listings, just to show the difference in opinions and also where they agree in the frustration of finding names they both like and agree sound nice together. _

**Chapter 53: Early Birds Catch the Worm**

_Mid-May 1984_

Severus went into the classroom and looked around at all the small things and bright colours that made him feel a bit dizzy. A thick, bushy haired woman looked up.

"Hello, can I help you?"

"Just picking up Harry."

"Harry?"

The woman raised an eyebrow. "His mother is the one who usually the one who picks him up."

"I know, but she's not able to today."

"Is she ill?"

"No, just had a little emergency."

At that moment Harry turned and his eyes got wide. "Daddy!"

Severus saw Harry get up from a little blue chair kid-sized chair, grab his picture and hurry over. "Look what I drawed."

Severus took the picture with its scribbled drawing. "It's very nice."

"It's our house."

"I see that."

The teacher handed Severus a piece of paper. "This explains about our little carnival. The school holds one every spring."

"Oh."

"Bye, Harry. See you Monday."

"See you Monday." Harry waved good-bye and turned to Severus as they left the room."Where's Mummy?"

"She had to go to work for a bit."

"Where's Remus?"

"He's not available today. He has to be somewhere else."

"Did you-did you take off of work? Do you not work more today?"

"I do, but we are going to go to my work."

Harry's eyes got wide. "I get to go to-to-your work?"

"Sort of. Let's go get you a snack to eat."

Severus turned around the side of the building out of site and apparated with Harry to the school. He took Harry onto the grounds. Harry looked at the inside of the castle in awe.

"I wish I lived here."

Severus grinned slightly. "You will when you are older."

"We should live here."

"Your mum and I have lived here and you'll get to live here when you're older. This is a school."

"How do you do?" Someone spoke.

Harry jumped and his eyes got wide. He grabbed Severus's leg in fright, hiding behind him.

"Sir Nicholas." Severus stated with a sneer on his lips.

The ghost gave a light nod. "Didn't mean to scare the young lad."

"He's never seen a ghost before. This is not to be told to anyone that he's here. Harry doesn't need any trouble."

"Request granted." The ghost continued down the hall.

"He's harmless, Harry."

Harry slowly eased his grip on Severus's robes. Severus led him down to the dungeons to his office.

"Wash your hands in the sink and I'll get you something to eat."

Harry pushed a stool over and climbed up to wash his hands. Severus handed him an apple.

"I need to go over to my classroom. Come along."

Harry followed Severus into the potions classroom. Severus saw him looking around the room as if it was the most interesting place in the world.

"Don't touch!" Severus snapped as Harry reached for a cauldron. Harry jumped and recoiled a little. "You don't know what's in that so don't touch anything. Up here."

Harry came up to Severus's desk. "What's that?"

Severus turned as he searched for his file. "What?"

"That up there? It's got eyes."

Severus looked up to where Harry was pointing. "Oh, that's just newts."

"They sleep in water?"

"Newts like water."

"Why are they floating like that?"

Severus tilted his head slightly, thinking. "It's just how they sleep."

"How long are they going to sleep?"

"Oh, quite awhile."

The door opened to the classroom and Severus turned. "Class isn't for another half hour, Mr. Bartram."

"I left my potion book in here."

"Yes, you did. I wonder how you managed on the homework."

The sandy-haired fourteen-year-old looked at Harry, who turned to see who was in the room after he climbed onto Severus's chair.

"Who's that?" Harry whispered to Severus.

"He's one of my students."

Mr. Bartram looked closer to Harry. "Is he"

"Get your book, Mr. Bartram and wait until class time to re-enter the classroom." Severus noticed the boy looking at Harry as he got his book. "Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's rude to stare, especially at a child?"

The boy shook his head and blushed slightly. "Sorry. He just looks like"

"No one."

"Why is he here?"

"That's none of your concern."

The boy started to speak, but Severus bore his eyes into the boy. Mr. Bartram turned and left the room.

Severus ran his hand through his hair. "Lily was right. It is best to keep Harry away from this world until he's older." He looked at Harry. "Let's go back to my quarters and wait for Minerva. She's going to watch you while I have class."

_16 June 1984_

Severus was awoken by the pounding of rain on the roof of the house. Lily was sleeping on her side beside of him, her very large belly touching his knee. It about killed him to see her in the thin slip. Despite her worries, he thought she looked beautiful when pregnant. She had a glow about her that he found just as intriguing as when she wasn't pregnant.

As he started to go back to sleep, he saw Harry enter the bedroom.

"The rain keeping you up?"

Harry moved to the bed, holding his teddy bear tightly.

"You want to stay with us for the night?" Lily asked.

Severus turned to her, not realizing she was awake.

Harry nodded and climbed up.

"It's just heavy rain. You're okay, sweetie." Lily stated, tucking Harry in-between her and Severus.

"Snug as a bug in a rug." Harry said, content to be them now.

"Yes. Now go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day." Lily smiled at her son and sighed. She was both excited and nervous to have the babies. Excited to have them here and have newborns again, but nervous about her time between three children, Harry's reaction and having newborns again. It had been a couple years she had a newborn around and two of them at once were a little unnerving.

_That Afternoon_

Lily started to fix lunch and looked out at Severus pushing Harry on the swing. She let out a breath, easing the mild cramping she felt in her stomach. It had been bothering her off and on the past week.

She put the food out on the table and went to the back door. "Lunch is ready whenever you two are."

Harry jumped off the swing and came running. He tripped and fell. Harry got to his feet as Lily gasped. He didn't seem too fazed by the fall, but pointed to his elbow when he got to the door.

"My elbow hurts."

"You scraped it, that's all. Let's clean it and fix it up before we eat."

Severus picked up behind Harry, moving the toys to the patio. Lily took Harry into the lab and put some disinfectant potion on the wound and then used her wand to heal it.

"Now you can't even tell you got a scrap. Let's go have some lunch."

Lily suddenly felt sharp pains in her abdomen like really bad menstrual cramps. She took a deep breath.

"What's the matter, Mummy?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Let's just go eat, okay?"

Harry bounded into the kitchen and sat in his chair.

Severus put some food on Harry's plate. "You can sit down with us."

Lily turned to Severus, who was looking at her. "Actually, I'm not that hungry. You all can eat. I think I'm going to sit down."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just not hungry." She put the leftover food on containers and into the refrigerator. Lily left the kitchen and went into the living room, looking at the new cream-coloured paint on the walls. A couple minutes later she felt the pains hit her again.

Lily started to think she might be going into labour already, which unnerved her. She still had under six weeks left. "_It's just false labour. It's too soon. You still have about six weeks. They would probably be okay, but you're not ready to give birth. Everything'll be fine. It'll go away."_

She sat down and tried to relax.

The contractions did not go away as the afternoon progressed into the evening. They moved closer together. They became eight minutes apart, then seven. By the time they were seven minutes apart that evening, she began to get worried. Severus finally relented on her insistence that it was nothing to worry about when the sun began to go down.

"Lily, I'm thinking this isn't false labour. I think we should go to the hospital."

"No, it's too soon. We have about six weeks. It's too soon."

He could see the fear in her eyes. "I don't think that matters. I think they are preparing to come out really soon."

"Just two more weeks. I'll give anything for two more weeks."

"I don't think you're going to make it two more weeks. Maybe the hospital can do something, okay?"

Lily nodded, looking over at Harry playing with a toy train on the living room floor.

"Choo Choo! We have to stop because the train is coming." He stopped a car by the tracks and drove the train past. "Choo Choo!"

Severus rubbed her shoulders. "I'll go get your bags and we'll drop him off next door."

"Okay." She nodded. "You know where they are right?"

"We've been packed for the last two weeks, mine and yours and Harry's bag. I'll get all three and come back down. Just sit down and relax best you can."

He went upstairs and looked into the empty baby room with the two unmade cribs, mattresses, bumpers and sheets. There was a dresser and random other toys and baby items she had received from old friends and her trainer companions, who had given her a baby shower knowing she didn't have much for a baby after what had happened to her.

A wave of panic washed over him as the realization hit him that by tomorrow he would have three children around the house and have two biological children. He had been aware of it and that they were coming, but now that they were likely on the way now, his usually steady nerves were rattled. Would he be a good father? Would he be able to handle three children? He didn't know how to change a nappy or burp a baby really. Those birthing classes with Lily really did not do much besides talk about the labour and delivery process.

Severus took a deep breath. "You don't have time to worry about that." He said softly to himself and grabbed the bags in a hurry, nearly dropping his own bag as he started down the steps.

Lily felt herself shaking with fear about what could happen and if the babies would be okay born so early. She kept hoping it was fake contractions in preparation for real labour and not the real thing.

As he sat the bags downstairs, she gasped as pain surged through her abdomen. She took a few deep breaths, starting her breathing techniques. Fear surged through her at the reality that this was not Braxton Hicks contractions, but real labour and she was going to have to accept that this was happening.

Severus watched her double over and cringed. He wondered why it had to be so painful to have a baby.

"Harry?"

He looked up from playing with his toys on the living room floor at Severus and saw Lily. "Does your tummy hurt, Mummy?"

"A bit, yes."

"Maybe you need medicine."

"I don't need medicine. It'll be fine."

Severus cleared his throat. "You want to go Charlie and Gertie's for awhile?"

Harry seemed to ponder this. "Nah. I want to stay here and play."

Severus looked at Lily, who laughed once. Severus shook his head. "Well, you have to go to Charlie and Gertie's. We're going to leave. You can stay here."

"No." Harry got up off the floor.

"You can take your train if you want. We need to go."

"What about my bear?"

"He's in your bag. Let's go."

"Why?"

"Because-because the babies are coming." Lily said.

Harry turned to Lily. "My sisters are coming out of your tummy?"

Lily nodded, shutting her eyes. "Yes-let's get-let's take you over to their house for awhile, okay? I have to go to the hospital." She grabbed her bag.

They left the house and walked next door. Lily grabbed her stomach and started breathing. Gertie was planting flowers and looked up at them, rubbing her forehead with the back of her garden glove. She threw her shovel down and hurried over.

"Are you all right, dear?" She paused. "Oh my goodness, you're in labour already?"

Lily nodded, breathing out the end of the contraction. "Seven minutes."

"Apart?"

Severus looked at Gertie. "I know it's a lot to ask, but Lily's friend, who was supposed to watch Harry, can't do it right now."

"You were wondering if we could? Of course. He's an angel. Hey, Harry? You know what Charlie's going to do?"

"What?"

"Wash his car. You want to help?"

"Yeah!" Harry's eyes got wide.

Gertrude took Harry's bag. "You need anything?"

"No." Severus shook his head. "We'll be fine. I'll be back in a few hours or so, depending on how the labour is going and I'll let you know what's going on."

"He's welcome to stay overnight if necessary. We have extra rooms upstairs. When Rachel comes in from New York, she stays in our home so we always have room."

"I'll let you know if that'll be needed." Severus looked over at Harry. "Bye, Harry."

Harry waved bye. Severus and Lily went to the back of their house and apparated to the hospital.

They went back to the room and made her change into a gown. They examined her.

"Well, you about five centimetres and around 60% effaced. So, you are moving along slowly."

"It's too late to stop labour?"

"I'm afraid so."

Lily grabbed Severus's hand as a contraction hit her. Severus cringed at the intensity of her grip. He did not dare tell her she was hurting him though. He knew if he did, she would glare at him harshly and state that he doesn't know pain at all. The amount of pain she was in was hard to watch.

"Oh god." She breathed out. "Dammit."

"You want a potion for the pain yet?" The healer asked her.

Lily shook her head. "I don't want to be in labour. It's too early."

"You'll be okay. The babies look good, sweetie. They'll be fine."

"I'm six weeks early. It's too early. I want at least two more weeks."

Severus put a hand on her shoulder. He was ready for it all to be over, yet dreaded a little of the huge responsibility he now had. Lily did not progress much over the next five hours and he went over home to tell the Macmillans how Lily was doing.

They gave her a potion to calm the pain so she could rest. Severus slept on the couch for a couple hours and Lily got some rest as well.

_17 June 1984 7AM_

"Why don't you get up and walk around. That will help you get labour going again."

Lily moaned. "Can't I just go home until it starts again?"

"No, we want you here. It'll start up again. It's just stalled. Right now, one of your babies is breech so we want to monitor your labour. Because it appears to be footling at the moment, we want to watch you close."

Lily let out a heavy huff. "Okay." She got off the bed slowly.

Severus handed her some ice chips to eat.

"This is all you get to eat too."

He laughed as they walked down the hall. "If that will make you feel better, I'll eat ice chips and nothing else until you have the babies."

"When the babies get here, I want a good meal. Maybe some ham and potatoes or something from that English restaurant up the road. Something heavy and filling. Anything to whet the appetite."

"I'd figure with all the pain you wouldn't be hungry."

"I haven't had anything to eat for almost an entire day. I'm hungry. But it's best I don't eat. Once labour gets going, I'd probably get sick if I ate a meal."

They walked by a large window.

"Sev, look at the babies."

Severus turned to the window and saw some beds with babies in them. There were three boys and one girl.

"I remember when I had Harry here. I had a nice experience with his birth. Painful as could be, but it was not difficult and went rather smooth. I hope everything will be okay-with them-being born so early and all."

"They'll be fine."

They walked for a couple hours.

_11AM-Same day_

"Okay, your cervix is 100% effaced and fully dilated. You can start to push on the next contraction."

Lily nodded. _"Finally."_ It had been more than 17 hours since her real labour had begun and she wanted the babies out.

"Okay, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Take a breath and push again."

Lily let out her breath and started to push again.

"One, two, three-down into your bottom-five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."

Lily pushed about ten times.

Severus looked down and saw the head slip out. He looked back up at Lily. "The head's out. She's got a lot of hair."

He saw Lily smile for a second.

"Okay, push again."

"Good, good. Keep pushing, Lily."

Severus saw the baby come out. Lily let out her breath.

The healer held up the baby. "And it's a girl." She laid the baby on Lily's stomach.

Lily saw the baby and smiled. "Oh, god. She's so tiny. Harry was so much bigger, but he was born at 39 weeks. I can't believe she's here. She's perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes."

Severus watched them clean the baby up. They stuck a syringe down her throat. Lily was right, she was really tiny. The baby started to cry loudly. "There we go. Just had gunk in the throat, didn't ya? Now you're screaming." The healer said.

"Look at that dark hair. I knew they'd have your black hair." Lily looked up at him.

"At least she didn't take my nose."

Lily sighed. "Your nose is fine. She's beautiful."

"Her lungs are working-that's a good sign. We'll have to keep an eye on her, but she seems to be okay." The healer took the baby and moved her to the other side of the room to check on her. "She weighs five pounds and thirteen ounces. Born at 11:15AM. She appears to be developed for the most part and her organs look good. You have a name for her?"

Severus nodded. "Ruby. Ruby Maia Snape."

"Ruby is a lovely name." The healer wrapped the baby in a light green blanket and took her over to them. "You want to hold her?"

Severus looked at the woman. "Uh, sure." The woman placed the baby in his arms. He looked at her. She opened her eyes and Severus grinned, the tension of holding a baby for the first time in his life easing. "She has your eyes. Lovely emerald eyes."

Lily smiled. "Really?"

Severus nodded, looking at Ruby. He touched her very tiny hand and her fingers moved slightly in reflex. He smiled. "She's perfect."

They let Lily hold Ruby for a few minutes and let her try to feed Ruby. "She's beautiful. I can't believe she has so much hair already. Head full of hair." Lily ran her hand through Ruby's hair as she nursed her. Ruby looked up at her. "I still can't believe yesterday we were a family of three and today and from now on we're going to be a family of five."

The healer took Ruby away suddenly from Lily and handed her to Severus. Before Severus could ask if everything was okay, he was shoved to the side. Lily looked at the healers in confusion.

"Just relax."

Lily saw them throw up her gown to her chest and put a spell on her stomach. The next thing she knew, she was numbed from her chest down and a blanket was thrown above her so she couldn't see her belly anymore. She didn't have time to panic as they opened her abdomen.

Severus could only see from a distance. It only took a minute, but it seemed much longer. He saw the second baby taken out, covered in junk and could not figure out what was happening. The baby was not placed on Lily's chest, but taken away. Severus moved closer and realized that the second baby was not doing well and looked almost purple.

It was a tense minute before the baby let out a wailing cry. Severus let out a sigh of relief along with Lily.

"Thank god." She said and took Severus's hand.

He gave her hand a squeeze back. "She'll be fine."

The healers stayed around the second baby for a few more minutes before they wrapped her up in a light green blanket and put her on Lily's chest.

"It's a girl. She weighs about five pounds and thirteen ounces also. Born at 12:01PM."

"What happened? Is she going to be okay?" Lily asked as her voice shook.

"She'll be fine. Just a complication is all."

"What?"

"She was a footling breech. The umbilical cord prolapsed."

Lily gasped. "Oh my god."

"She's fine. There wasn't any harm. We got her out within a minute. She doesn't have any damage."

Lily let out a deep breath. "Everything is okay. She's okay. They're both fine."

"Yes. She's perfect. They both look great. You have a name for her?"

Severus nodded. "Camellia. Camellia Selene Snape."

"Camellia Snape. I like that name too." The healer handed Camellia to Severus.

"You did great." Severus said to Lily, sitting on the bed. They gave Ruby to Lily once Lily was healed from being cut open. "She's got the same hair and eye colour as Ruby."

"Camellia and Ruby. I can't wait for Harry to see his baby sisters. Hope he won't have jealousy issues when they get home and require a lot of our attention."

"We'll just have to make sure he gets some attention too."

"Yeah, but I still worry about him feeling jealous. He's big enough though to let him be involved a bit in helping with the babies a little."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't worry too much."

They let Lily feed Camellia before they took both babies back to the nursery. Lily took a nap and Severus went to get something for them to eat and went to pick up Harry.

Harry saw Severus coming and dropped his toy bucket and came running up to him. Gertie turned with a smile.

"So, how is she?"

"Lily's great. She's resting now. It was a difficult labour."

"Oh, poor thing. How are the babies?"

"Great. They're great. Both girls."

"What're their names?"

"Ruby and Camellia."

Harry tugged on Severus's shirt. "Did mummy-did she have the babies?"

"Yes, you want to go see them? And see your mum? She misses you."

"Yeah."

He picked Harry up. "Let's go see your sisters then." He turned to Gertie. "Thanks for watching him for us. Lily has to stay overnight and so do the babies, but she wants me to go home with Harry tonight and I'd rather have him home so-"

"That's fine. He wasn't any trouble. He did great and slept fine."

"Don't you want to see my sisters?"

"She can't see the babies right now. She'll see them when they come home in a few days. I figure most of the neighbours will be dying to see the new babies. Thanks again, Gertrude."

"You all take care."

Severus took Harry to the hospital and went to the nursery window.

"Where's my sisters?"

"See that baby right there in a light green blanket? That's Camellia."

"Camellia?"

"Yep. And that baby there who looks like Camellia? That's Ruby."

"They're sleeping."

"Yep. They had a hard day. You want to go see your mum?"

Harry nodded and Severus took him to Lily's room. Lily turned to the door.

"Mummy!"

Severus set Harry down and Harry went over to Lily's bed.

"You look sleepy."

"I'm tired. I've had a long day." She sighed and touched Harry's hair. "Did you have a nice night with Charlie and Gertie?"

"We watched a movie and ate popcorn. Then I went to sleep."

"Sounds like fun."

"When are you-when are you coming home?"

"Probably tomorrow. I need to rest. The babies have to stay here too. They were born early and need looked after."

"Next time can I have a brother?"

Lily laughed. "I don't think there's going to be a next time. We think three is a good number." She looked over at Severus. "Tell me that's food in that bag."

"Of course."

"Good. I'm starving." She sat up. "Let's eat."

Harry climbed up on the bed and Severus sat on the other side of Lily and got out the food.

"Ruby and Ella can't eat this."

"Ella?" Severus asked. "Camellia."

"They can't eat sandwiches."

"No, just special milk. They'll be able to start real food in a few months."

Severus looked at Lily. "You know. I kind of like Ella as a nickname for her."

Lily smiled. "Yeah, it does sound nice."

* * *

><p><em>AN: 2.64 Kilograms=about 5lbs 13oz. 93oz=2.636506 kg so I rounded up to 2.64kg. Wasn't sure if the UK used the metric or imperial system of measurement most of the time so if I'm wrong, you can correct me and I will change that. I'm thinking it's the imperial, which would mean pounds and ounces, but since metric is the most common form across the world, I wasn't sure. _


	54. Chapter 54: Welcome Home

_Thanks to **Belle of Ponderosa, Cara-tanaka, Mrs. SRE Snape, Tess4Aria, Doomsday2012, Neo-digi, BigBangTheory, Sithtar, AniDenDav, Phoenix1592, Timi55, DesirePassion, MarissaRosee, BlooDSukKer69, PurplewolfDOTcom, Gyoro and Ururun, KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun, Ujemaima, StarlightWonderer23, Prince-Slytherin, Jazzgal, RedStalkingDeath, GreenTrinket, Duchesslynn4, Xpunkfariex, Galyardt** and **Meagan Marie** for the reviews._

_**A/N:** Chapter 53 was the most reviewed chapter of this story. 27 reviews for Chapter 53 without counting the two reviewers for previous chapters. Thanks to everyone who's been patiently waiting for an update and it's been almost a month since I last updated this story. I may get one more up before the semester is over, but I'll have to see. If not I'll update plenty when summer (for me) gets here in mid-May. Hope everyone who celebrated Easter had a happy one! _

**Chapter 54: Welcome Home**

Severus kissed Lily's forehead. "You'll be fine by yourself tonight?"

Lily nodded, looking down at Camellia, who was feeding. "Of course. Just take Harry home and let him have some normalcy before his world really goes upside down. And it will. Once we have them both home, I don't think he's going to like getting less attention because others need it too. He's been the only child around for almost four years."

"He'll be fine. He seems like a resilient kid."

"Funny, that sounds like you."

"Oh, please." Someone scoffed.

Lily and Severus turned to see Remus, and to their shock, Sirius, in the doorway. Lily made a move to cover her slightly exposed breast, though she was blocked by Severus's body.

"Look, the circus arrived." Severus mumbled.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other confused. Remus spoke, "What's a circus?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Never mind."

Sirius looked around the room. "Where's Harry?"

"Home by himself, destroying the house." Severus sneered.

Sirius frowned. "And you told me to piss off when I lost track of Harry?"

Lily rolled her eyes and bit her tongue. "He's joking. Harry's with a nurse. He's not allowed in the room with the babies. They say he's too young and might have germs or something."

"So, when are planning the next one?" Remus smirked slightly.

"Next one?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Harry needs a brother." Remus smirked.

Sirius scoffed again. "Don't encourage him to get her pregnant again."

Lily moaned. "Easy for you to say. I feel like I've been hit a few times with the crucio and maybe a truck."

"A truck?" Remus asked.

"Muggle machine used to get muggles places, otherwise known as a vehicle or a car." Severus mocked.

"Oh. So, which one are you feeding?" Remus asked.

"This is Camellia."

"She's quite small, but she was born early." Remus smiled.

Lily removed Camellia from her breast, keeping herself covered. Severus picked her up, putting a rag over his shoulder to burp her. Lily had explained how to burp them earlier, but he was still a bit uneasy with his new job.

"Well, look at those eyes. All your babies ended up with your eyes, Lily." Remus smiled at her.

Severus smiled at Lily. "They are too beautiful to not pass on."

"Yeah, but too bad she got stuck with her father's hair. You can only hope they took the colour, not the texture."

Lily frowned. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"We wanted to see you. Heard you had the babies already and were a bit worried that something had happened with you. If he got you pregnant then got you killed because of that, I wouldn't be happy."

"And?" Lily narrowed her eyes toward Sirius.

"We bought you some flowers and some nappies." Remus said, holding a package of something. "Figure you'll need plenty of these with two babies."

"Thanks." Lily stated and turned to Sirius. "So, where's your fiancé or did you get married finally?"

Sirius grumbled. "We aren't getting married."

"Oh, she got sick of already?"

Sirius frowned at Severus. "No. We don't want to be tied down like that. We are fine with sharing the responsibility for Talitha, but that's it. Not the best for the kid, but the best for us. For now anyway. I barely have time for a kid and don't have time for a wife too."

Lily shrugged. "Up to you, I guess. At least your daughter's still alive."

Sirius scowled. "It was a mistake. I'm sorry. I would have never forgiven myself if anything had actually happened to Harry."

Lily glowered toward Sirius. "If Severus hadn't shown up when he did, Harry would have died. You almost got our son killed."

Sirius scoffed, shook his head and took a step back. "Our son? What's wrong with you two? Harry is not Severus's son!"

Lily let out a huff. Severus stood, still holding Camellia to his shoulder. "Lily's had a long enough day. She doesn't need you here acting like the jackass you are."

Remus cleared his throat loudly. "Where's the other baby?"

"In the nursery. She was sleeping."

"Amazing that not one has your red hair? Unless they aren't identical, after all."

"Nope, none do. Harry took James's hair and Camellia and Ruby have Sev's. I like it that way. I don't mind they don't have my red hair. I find darker hair more attractive."

"Unfortunately for your babies, they do look a little like you, Sni-Snape. Luckily, that one seemed have been spared your hook nose. Hopefully she'll be spared your other features."

Camellia burped, spitting up on the rag.

"Better get used to that, kid. You'll be swallowing lots of grease." Sirius whispered to the baby.

Severus turned his head to Black with a glower. Before he could speak, there was a squeaking sound and everyone turned to see a healer wheeling in a basket.

Remus looked in and smiled at Lily. "So, what's her name?"

The healer handed Ruby, who was crying, to Lily.

"This is Ruby."

"Camellia Snape and Ruby Snape. You know, Snape just doesn't have a nice ring to it. Not as nice as Potter."

Remus nudged Sirius in the side. "Be nice. Lily just gave birth to two babies at once. She's been through enough today."

Lily looked at Severus, who just shook his head.

"Well, it's about time to go. I hate leaving you here." Severus spoke, cradling Camellia in his arms.

"We'll be fine. You go and-"

"You're leaving your wife?" Sirius interpolated.

"I'm taking Harry home and we're going to fix up the room. We'll be back in the morning. Lily's coming home tomorrow, but the babies are going to stay for a couple days to make sure they are healthy enough."

Lily nodded. "I hate leaving them, but they'll be okay for a couple nights, I suppose." She sighed, rubbing her hand over Ruby's stomach. "Their lungs are good, but a bit underdeveloped and they want to help them get a bit stronger before we take them home."

Severus leaned in to Lily and they gave each other a kiss on the lips while Sirius faked vomiting into one of the hospital's emesis basins.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'll see you in the morning. Love you."

Severus pushed Ruby's hair back at her forehead. "Love you too. I'll be back as soon as we've had breakfast. I'll bring you something to eat from home if you want."

"I'd love that. The food here is just not that good."

Severus turned to Remus. "You want to hold her?"

Remus looked a bit surprised, but nodded. "Sure." Severus handed Camellia to Remus. "Don't let Sirius hold her."

"What? Don't trust me?"

Severus paused at the doorway to the overly sterile, pallid room. "No." He left the room to the sparkling white hallway with blue and green tiles lining the middle of the hallway, bringing out the dullness of the sanitary pure white space.

Harry was sitting in a greyish-blue chair with light oak wooden handles, swaying his feet, too small for his feet to reach the floor.

"Harry, you ready?"

Harry turned to the sound of the voice and smiled at the sight of him.

"You ready to go home? I'm going to go fix up the babies' room. You want to help?"

Harry's eyes got wide and he jumped off the chair. "Yeah."

Severus took Harry's hand. "Let's go then."

Severus opened the front door to see some of Lily's friends from training already there.

"Hello. Sorry to barge in like this, but heard Lily had the babies and decided to wait here to help." A man with slightly wavy, willow bark hair down to his ears and a slightly orange tan spoke.

Harry grabbed Severus's trousers tightly and hid behind his legs.

"Yes, we spoke to Lily and said we'd wait here. We were outside, but then it started to rain so we came in here." A woman with chocolate hair just past her shoulders and large light brown eyes and a light brown tan stated hastily with a giggle.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "The skies are blue and not a cloud in sight."

The woman giggled again and half-rolled her eyes. "Okay, so we wanted to surprise you."

"Because I love surprises." Severus stated with a sneer.

"We came to help you fix up the twins' bedroom."

"What a pleasant surprise." Severus spoke unenthusiastically and cleared his throat. "So, we're going upstairs to work on the room."

"Aren't you going to introduce Harry to us?"

Severus sneered again. "Yes, can't forget our manners. Harry, this is Pollux and Vesta Seneca. They are friends of your mother. Say hello."

Harry peered out from behind Severus's legs, still holding on. "Hi."

"He's so cute, isn't he, Lux?"

"Adorable." He spoke indifferently.

"I'd love to have a child, but Lux has a low sperm count."

Lux turned and cleared his throat. "Ves, you don't need to go into detail."

"I've got three. You can take one of our spares." Severus smirked.

Vesta's jaw dropped. "What?"

"He's being sarcastic, dear." Pollux stated.

Severus put his hand on Harry's back. "Let's go up to the babies' room."

They headed up the stairs with Pollux and Vesta following them up. Severus opened the dark wooden door at the end of the hallway on the right. "This is going to be their bedroom. Lily and I already painted it."

Vesta went in. "Looks like you've got everything they'll need. What are you going to do first?"

Severus looked around the room at all the scattered baby items. "You and your husband can fix up the changing table and stock it up with nappies and the potions and pastes for newborns in the corner. Harry and I will put the cribs."

As Severus made the first bed, Harry pointed in-between a couple bars of the crib. "This is Ruby's crib."

"You think this should be Ruby's crib?" Severus tightened the bed together.

"Yeah. And that's Ella's crib." He pointed to the unmade bed lying against the opposite wall.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You think that should Camellia's crib?"

"It's Ella's crib. Are you-are going to do Ella's crib next?"

"Yep. You want to hand me the bumper right there?" Severus pointed to a pile of items on the floor.

Harry picked up a piece of the bedding. "A bumper?"

"Yes. It goes around the crib to keep your sisters safer." Severus put it in and tied it up.

"What's sperm?"

Severus messed up the last knot and glared at Vesta for a moment before turning back to Harry. "A whale."

"A whale?"

"Yes. See that thing there?" He gestured his head to the pile again.

Harry picked up a blanket. "This?"

"No, the mobile beside it. Can you bring it to me?"

Harry picked up the purple and green striped mobile with light yellow and blue stars strung down from the top and a gray moon in the middle. He carried it over to Ruby's bed.

"Thank you." Severus hooked the mobile up to the front end.

"Now you want the blanket?"

"Yes. Now we can put in the blanket."

Harry handed the pink, purple and green plush blanket to Severus. "Now Ruby will stay warm while she sleeps."

"Very warm." Severus set the blanket in the bed. He put up thick red wooden letters using his wand to spell the name. "Now it's officially Ruby's crib. Let's start on Camellia's crib."

Severus got the second crib up much easier. He put up pink and white lettering spelling Camellia's name above her crib.

Harry looked over at the crib. "Now we need my sisters."

"They'll be home in a couple days." He turned to Pollux and Vesta who were stocking the closet with baby clothes. Harry climbed onto the white rocking chair and watched them.

_The next afternoon_

Lily walked into the house and sighed. "It's so good to be home."

Severus nodded. "I'm glad you're feeling better since they opened you up to remove the babies."

"It's different in the magic world. I'm mostly healed. I have to take it easy for a few days just to make sure everything is okay internally. Muggle women have to be sliced up and sewed up and it takes a long time to heal. Makes me very glad I'm not a muggle."

They went upstairs and Lily put some of the new gifts she had received since the twins' birth in their bedroom. "Oh, it's lovely. You all did a great job on the room."

Harry beamed. "I helped."

Lily smiled. "I heard you were a wonderful helper."

"When are my sisters coming home?"

"In a couple more days. They just need a little more time for their bodies to be healthy." Lily sighed contently. "I'm exhausted. I think I'll go take a nap."

"Me too. Can I take a nap too?" Harry asked.

"Sure." Lily laughed, knowing he would probably lie down for a couple minutes and then get up and go play. Harry rarely took naps anymore. All three of them went into Lily and Severus's bedroom. Lily flopped down onto the bed, happy to be home in her own bed with her soft comforter instead of the hard, linen sheets and nylon blankets at the hospital. Harry laid down beside of her and Severus grabbed a book and sat the other end of the bed. She shut her eyes, enjoying the mostly quiet house, knowing full well all that would change in a couple days.

_22 June 1984_

Severus picked up Camellia and Lily took Ruby.

"You ready to go home for good?" Severus asked.

Lily nodded. "Absolutely." She looked at the other infants in the room, two boys and one girl were in cradles that rocked gently. "I'm glad we'll be home now."

"You should take it easy though. It's only been a few days and we're only now getting to the hard part."

Lily sighed with a smile and looked down at Ruby, who was sleeping. As they left the hospital, Camellia started to squirm in Severus's arms. She let out a cry. He rocked her a little. "See what I mean. This times three from now on."

"I think it'll be both hell and wonderful at the same time. We'll get the hang of it. What's life without a little chaos?" Lily sighed as the warm sun hit them when they exited the building.

"Relaxing?" Severus smirked, shielding his and Camellia's eyes from the sudden brightness.

Severus did not enjoy the trip home. Lily had wanted to take the muggle way home using a train, worried about the babies health while apparating. People kept gazing at them and trying to peek at the babies. By the time they got off the train, Severus lost his cool.

"They aren't animals at a zoo so if you keep gawking like you are gawking at a rare hyena, I'll start charging admission."

Lily did not know whether to say that it was rude to snap at people like that or laugh at his sarcasm. It was rather irritating to not be left alone. She knew people just liked the babies and found it interesting they had twins, but she also found it aggravating.

Severus opened the front door with his free hand. Harry jumped up from the floor and ran to them.

"Can I see my sisters?" He stood on his toes, trying to peek up at them, but was too small.

"Yes. Go wash your hands and we'll let you hold them." Lily said.

Harry beamed at that and sprinted to the bathroom.

Gertrude came over to them. "You know I want to see them." She looked down at Ruby.

Lily moved the blanket Ruby was wrapped in to let Gertrude see the baby. "This is Ruby."

"Aww, she's adorable. She's so tiny. How much did she weigh?"

"They were both five pounds and thirteen ounces."

"A good size to be about five and a half weeks earlier."

Lily smiled, looking at her daughter. "The heal-doctor-the doctor said they would've been about seven and a half pounds if they had made it a few more weeks. Their lungs were a little underdeveloped, but everything else seems to be fine. Summer just began so we don't have to worry about flu season right now."

"That's a good thing." Gertrude looked over at the baby Severus was holding. "They're identical, aren't they?"

"Yes." Lily answered.

"You have any twins in either of your familes."

"No. I just have one older sister and none of my relatives are twins. Not that I'm aware of anyway. He doesn't either that I know of."

Severus shook his head. "No. No twins. No siblings even."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

Lily nodded. "Yeah. She lives in over in Surrey. She has a son around Harry's age."

"That's nice. I had two older brothers. One's already passed, but the other lives up around Birmingham. We talk quite a bit."

"My sister and I don't really talk much."

Gertrude nodded. "Not all siblings get along. I know that. My youngest daughter and eldest son don't really ever talk. They just never liked each other. Too different in personality." Gertrude smiled at Severus. "They look like you a lot. They have your dark hair and mouth, but they definitely have their mother's eyes."

Severus grinned. "Yes, they do. Their mother has beautiful eyes."

Lily smiled at Severus.

"Can I hold my sisters now?" Harry asked, peering around Gertrude impatiently.

Gertrude laughed. "Well, I'll let you all get settled in to your new routine. If you need a break, you let us know and we'll be glad to help. Having more than one is a transition and going from one to three will be a challenge."

"Thanks. We'll let you know if we need anything."

"Bye, Harry." Gertrude left the house.

Lily looked at Harry, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet eagerly, with a smile. "Go sit on the couch and I'll let you hold Ruby."

Harry grinned and hurried to sit on the deep tan couch. Lily put Ruby slowly in Harry's arms.

"Hold this hand to her back and keep your other hand under her head. She can't support her head yet." Lily sat beside of Harry. "There you go."

Harry smiled at the baby. "Ruby's sleeping." He said softly.

Severus sat on the other side of Harry. He looked around the room, the brown coffee table containing a muggle newspaper in place of the wizard one so it would not freak out their muggle neighbours who were watching Harry. Severus got out his wand and let the photographs move again that were on the wall and on top of the book shelves in the corner. He let the book titles reappear as well.

Their neighbours would probably be concerned about all the potion text books and other weird subject matter. The small, old television set sat blank on the other side of the coffee table. The other two-seater couch sat to the side of the coffee table, its back to the window. His favourite chair sat on the opposite side unoccupied.

Ruby stirred in Harry's arms and opened her eyes. She looked up at Harry. Lily took Harry's hand from Ruby's back and put Harry's index finger out by Ruby's hand. Ruby grasped it.

Harry smiled. "She has my finger." He laughed.

Ruby squirmed, her lower lip curving into a pout. She let out a cry.

"It's probably time to feed her. I'll go make up a bottle." Lily took Ruby from Harry.

"Can I hold Ella?"

Severus nodded. "Sure. She's awake, but seems content." Severus put Camellia in Harry's arms. "For the moment, anyway." He mumbled to himself.

Lily came back in with two bottles. She put one on the coffee table.

"I'll feed her." Severus said.

Lily nodded and handed Ruby to Severus and then handed him the bottle. "I'll burp her."

Severus put the bottle in Ruby's mouth. She began to suck the milk down. He watched her suck and looked over at Lily, who was talking to Harry and smiling. Looking back down at Ruby, her green eyes glaring up at him with content, he found himself smiling at the feeling he felt deep inside, like something warm and wonderful.

He had a decent job, a nice house, a wonderful wife, a son and now two infant daughters to add to the mix. For the first time in his life, he felt completely content with his life.

After both babies had been fed and burped, Camellia started to get fussy.

"I think she's probably tired. Let's take them up to be changed and put them to bed. It's about time for Harry to go to bed too." Lily spoke up.

Severus nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

Harry perked up. "Are we going to show Ruby and Ella the house?"

"We can show them their bedroom."

"I want to show them my bedroom."

Lily laughed. "Okay. We can show them your bedroom first." She got off the couch and all five of them headed upstairs.

Harry went into his bedroom. "See? This is my room."

"Let's show them their bedroom." Severus stated.

They went into twins' bedroom. Severus set Ruby on the changing table. Harry watched as he removed her nappy. Severus picked up Ruby's legs to get her cleaned up and felt something wet on his hand. He looked down and cursed.

Lily turned quickly as she looked through the closet for new clothes. "What?"

Harry scrunched up his nose. "Eww, she pooped."

Lily looked over at Severus, who's hand was covered with something that was mustard yellow. She summoned a clean nappy his way. He took it and held out his clean hand. "She's still using the bathroom."

"That's good. Let her get it out of her system." Lily grabbed a new outfit for Camellia. "I'm going to change Cami's clothes. She spat up on hers."

Ruby started to fuss. Harry rubbed her head.

"Easy, Harry. She has a soft spot on her head." Severus stated as he wiped off his hand with a soap potion.

"A soft spot?"

"Yeah, it's where her bones aren't grown yet. Just be easy."

"She doesn't like her nappy changed." Harry watched Severus unfold a nappy.

"I think she's probably just tired." Lily said.

"At least this poop isn't sticky too. Seems all the meconium has passed." Severus cleaned Ruby and put on a fresh nappy. He was not used to changing nappies, but he had changed Harry's before so he knew how to do it. Changing an infant's nappy was different. Ruby didn't squirm and couldn't try to run away from him while she got changed, at least not yet.

Severus picked Ruby up. "Okay, Harry, I'm going to put Ruby in her cradle and then it's time to go to bed."

Harry followed Severus to Severus and Lily's bedroom. Severus put Ruby down on her back in one of the cradles. Both cradles were against the wall on the side of the bed where Lily slept.

"Okay, Harry, it's time to take a bath."

Harry sighed. "Do I have to take a bath?"

"Yes. Your mum will read you a story. Let's go." He pushed Harry gently on his back.

Severus turned on the bathroom light as Lily came out of the twins' room. "I'm going to put Camellia to bed and get ready for bed myself."

Severus nodded. "Okay."

After Harry had his bath, Severus tucked him in bed and Lily read him a story. She turned off Harry's bedroom light and they went to their bedroom. They twins were both asleep at the moment. Severus crawled into bed with Lily and put his arm over her. Lily turned with a smile to him and sighed contently.

They were hardly asleep an hour before the cries of both babies woke them up.

"I told you not to plan on getting any sleep tonight." Lily mumbled, stifling a yawn.

Severus groaned and sat up, turning on the bedroom light. "I'll take Ella. You take Ruby."


	55. Chapter 55: Adjustments

_Thanks to **Galyardt, Cara-Tanaka, Sassymagpie, MarissaRosee, DuchessLynn4, Professor Radar, Tess4Aria, Blazen, Sevlily4ever, Gyoro and Ururun, xpunkfariex, PurplewolfDOTcom, Ujemaima, Phoenix1592, Meagan Marie, Jedi Steelwolf, Squirrely-Butt, Asphodel21, ElmKey, **and **Rocio Mixen **for the reviews. _

_I know, I know, it's been two months already...actually more than two months. I thought I'd have an easy summer, but life's been in the way and I feel as if I've hardly stopped. I'm way behind on all my stories on here. I've been busy researching for grad school lately because I've clearly lost my mind and decided I just haven't been to school long enough and I want to torture myself a few years longer. A relative got married this summer, so all the chaos with that and sick relatives, one who broke her back and has been needing a hand. I wrote half of this and then lost it all. :( So, when that happens, I get frustrated and brain blocked. I started to rewrite it, got stuck about 1700 words in and brain blocked a second time. I tried to make it a good read, especially after the long, long wait. And it shouldn't take two months+ to update again. _

_I actually didn't use any Hunger Games references in the names. Pollux is the name of a mythological twin (Gemini twin as well) Seneca is actually after a rock formation in my state. I had not seen the movie or read the book at the time of the last chapter so any naming was a coincidence, not intentional, but now that I have done both I see where someone may think that._

_And I can't recall if I said thanks personally to those who reviewed, I lost track so if I did send you a note, my apologies, but I read each one and I thank you for your comments and suggestions always. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 55: Adjustments<strong>

Ruby let out a little cough before latching back onto Lily's breast. Milk dribbled down her chin a little as she tried to swallow. Lily wiped it off with her free thumb and rubbed Ruby's back gently before she looked over at Severus, who was trying to calm Ella down.

"Is she able to suck at all?" Severus asked as he rubbed Camellia's back.

Lily nodded. "Yes, she's swallowing it. They wouldn't have let us take them home if they couldn't eat, but they still struggle a bit." She soothingly rocked Ruby in the rocking chair. It was still hard to believe it was all over, that she was not pregnant anymore and was now the mother of three children. The first days of hormones out of whack and baby blues and exhaustion and fear from the birth experience had thankfully passed. Her body was already healed from the birth and now the hard part of having babies had begun.

"At least they're actually sleeping at night now." Severus held Ella close against his chest as she fussed. His hands seemed so large compared to the babies. Until the day they were born, he had never held a baby before. Harry was the only sort-of baby he'd ever picked up and Harry was 15 months old then, not a premature newborn. Everything about Ruby and Ella was tiny. Their eyes, nose, mouth and their fingers were like toothpicks. Well, not that thin, but their size unnerved them and their fragility even more. He thought it would be crazy to even mention a slight unease about dropping them. Considering how careful he normally was, that unease was silly and he knew that, but it was a baby and for some odd reason, the thought that he would get clumsy crossed his mind more than once.

As Ella settled into soft whimpers, he let out a huff to himself. Three full days now they had been home. Exhausted was the only feeling he had and sleep was his only desire. He did not think he'd ever get a full night's rest again. Sure, their nights were interrupted some before, but not even close to this. Sure, he had to put Harry first, but while Harry was dependent on them, he was still more independent then the twins were. Harry could feed himself some and walk and run and play when he first meet him. The twins could not even sit their head up and he knew it'd be some time before they were able to play and walk and feed themselves even a little.

Was it bad to think about the fact that they only had eleven years until the twins left for school and he was a little happy about that fact? He wouldn't dare mention that thought to Lily. She was already struggling with the thoughts of Harry going away in just seven years. Would he be just as sad? Since he worked there, probably not, but would he be thrilled instead? They'd only been home a couple days and his life had gone upside down and he would love a little break. At least he was on leave at the moment and summer break was almost here so it made it a little easier, but really, he would love to just leave the house for a few hours. He would do that if it wasn't unfair to Lily. She likely wanted a break just as much as he did.

"Here." Lily said, holding Ruby up as she got to her feet. "You burp her."

Severus sighed. "She needs changed."

"No, I just changed her."

"I meant this one." He pointed to Camellia.

Lily rolled her eyes to the side with a huff. "Great." She sighed heavily. "I'll change Ella, you burp Ruby."

"Deal."

They exchanged babies and Severus rubbed and patted Ruby's back.

After both babies had been fed, burped and changed, they placed them back in their cradles for a little more rest.

She looked at her babies. "They look so cute."

"Yeah. Wait till they both start their endless crying again. Get some rest while they actually sleep."

Lily looked over them one last time before crawling into bed with Severus, at least for an hour before they were woken up again.

_Four Days Later_

Severus rocked Ruby in his arms, trying to calm her down. Lily was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, feeding Camellia. Rain splattered the kitchen window and the back doors as Harry ate his porridge. Severus rubbed Ruby's back, continuing to bounce her while she fussed.

"They're already showing their personalities." He said as he slowly paced the kitchen.

Lily nodded in agreement. "Ruby is definitely more easily rattled and harder to sooth than Ella, but she's a better sleeper." She looked down at Camellia. "Yes, you aren't as good a sleeper, but you are much calmer and more content so far with life. Yes, you are."

"It's okay." Harry said as he put his spoon back in the bowl of porridge. "They're babies. They cry. It's what babies do."

Severus gave a light shrug and looked at Lily. "He's right."

Lily's smile turned into a light laugh. "Yes, he is. He's calmer about this than we are."

"Harry also isn't sleep-deprived. He's not up most of the night like we are."

Lily groaned with a nod. "I'm exhausted. I want to take a nice, long nap." A smile crept on her face as she looked at Camellia. "Oh well. It's worth it. The older they get, it'll get easier in some ways, but harder in others. I'll take the breast-bottle only phase right now."

Severus heard a small burp and looked down at Ruby, who had spat up on his shirt, missing the cloth on his shoulder. "Great." He mumbled and got his wand out of his pocket to clean it up.

Lily brushed back Ella's hair and watched her suck before writing on a piece of paper.

"What are you doing?"Severus asked as he put his wand back.

Lily glanced up. "Writing my sister and brother-in-law an announcement about the twins' birth. Figure she ought to at least know she has two nieces now."

Severus scoffed. "I doubt she cares."

Lily shrugged. "I just wrote basic information." She handed the slip to Severus.

_It's A Girl! Wanted to let you know you have two new nieces. _

_Ruby Maia Snape and Camellia Selene Snape_

_Born June 17, 1984 11:15AM and 12:01PM _

_Both weighed in at 5lbs and 13oz._

"Is she sucking any better?" Severus wiped away a little of the spit up on Ruby's mouth before putting the parchment back on the table.

Lily nodded, not glancing up at Severus. "She's doing better than Ruby. Ella's breathing has definitely improved quite a bit. Her swallowing is better. Ruby's still struggling a bit, but they're both getting enough it seems. Change plenty of nappies everyday. Ella's jaundice seems to finally be gone."

As he moved Ruby down into his arms, he sighed. "Oh, I think they're getting plenty to eat. Someone just filled their trousers."

Lily sunk her shoulders and huffed. "Are you serious? I just changed her no less than ten minutes ago."

Severus sighed. "Don't worry about it. I'll do it. Though I think it'd be a lot easier to directly pour the milk into the nappy." He left the kitchen and laid Ruby down on a blanket on the light brown carpet of the living room. He changed her as Harry came into the room and sat down on the large couch.

"What're you doing?"

"Changing your sister."

"They go to the bathroom a lot."

Severus looked at Ruby, who was in a Babinski start with her right arm and leg outstretched. He gently picked her up and put her in the rocking swing. "That's what they do. Eat, poop, sleep and grow bigger."

"Can I push her?"

Severus nodded. "Just be gentle."

Harry jumped off the couch and kneeled to the floor by the swing. He pushed it. "This good, Dad?"

Severus glanced up as he slumped onto the couch. A small smirk emerged at the corner of his lips. "That's good."

Harry leaned over. "Hi, Ruby."

Ruby turned her head to Harry. Harry looked surprised. "She heard me?"

"She heard something. Even if she doesn't know what you're saying, she's learning to recognize you."

Ruby's head turned back to Severus.

"You want to see something else? Get that small, shiny red ball over there."

Harry looked around and grabbed the ball under the window seat before going back to the swing.

"Put it close to her, but not too close."

Harry put the ball near her face.

"Not so close. Just a little further back." Harry moved the ball slowly. "That's good. Now slowly move it toward you."

Harry moved the ball to him and Severus watched as Ruby's eyes followed the ball and she turned her head slowly to follow it. Harry smiled.

"She's watching the ball."

"Yes. Her focus looks better."

"Can she hold the ball?"

Severus shook his head with his eyes closed. "No. She's too little. It'll be a quite some time before she's able to play with you."

"Was I as little as Ruby when I was-when I was borned?"

Severus shrugged. "I think you were a bit bigger. Your sisters came a little early and are a bit smaller than most babies."

Lily entered the room and put Ella in her rocking seat next to Ruby and sat beside of Severus. She fell back against the couch, running her hand over her eyes. "One . I'm already losing it."

At that moment, Ruby started to squirm in her seat and jutted her lip out before letting out a soft cry. Severus groaned and got to his feet slowly. "She ate not long ago. She's been burped and I changed recently."

"She's probably tired."

Severus gently rocked Ruby as he walked around the room and tried to calm her down. "They're fussier today than they have been."

Lily nodded. "We'll have those days. Had plenty of them with Harry. He'd be grumpier than normal, but not sick."

"Mummy?" Harry asked, clutching Lily's wrist. She opened her eyes.

"What, sweetie?"

"You want to play with me?"

"I'm really tired." Lily ran her hands down her face. "Maybe later."

"Please?"

Lily saw Harry sulk a little and sighed to herself. "I want to, but I-I'm just really tired, sweetie."

"We can play blocks or play on the swings outside?" He said softly.

Lily's body wanted to scream no. She wanted to curl up on the couch and sleep for the rest of the day, but they really had not spent much time with Harry since the twins came home. The last thing she wanted was for him to begin feeling left out and have jealousy issues crop up.

"Oh," she groaned internally. "Okay. We'll play with the blocks for a few minutes, but then mum needs a nap."

Harry's eyes lit up at that and he tugged at her wrist. "Come on. We can build a castle and it will be really, really tall, all the way to the ceiling!"

Forcing herself off the couch, she tried to avoid a groan as she slumped onto the floor to spend a few minutes with her son.

_3 July 1984_

Harry swung on the swing outside by himself. Lily sighed as she nursed Ruby.

"You know," Severus started. "How about I take Harry with me to the Alley today? Get some ice cream and supplies. I'll get him out of the house and give you some time with the babies alone?"

Lily grinned. "I think that's a great idea. He could use some individual attention anyway."

Severus set his mug down and opened the back door. "Hey, Harry?"

Harry looked up, and the swing creaked as he used the heel of his shoe to stop the movement.

"You want to go get some ice cream?"

Harry's eyes lit up. "Are mummy and the babies coming too?"

Severus shook his head. "Nope. Just you and me. I need to get some supplies in town so I thought you and I could go and get some ice cream while we're out."

Harry's eyes brightened even more at that and he came barrelling into the house. "Dad and I are getting ice cream."

Lily rubbed Ruby's back. "That sounds lovely."

"You want one?"

Lily smiled brightly. "That's very thoughtful of you, but I don't need one."

Severus put his hand on Lily's back. "Are you ready? Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I'm ready. I want vanilla."

Severus kissed Lily's lips and then kissed Ruby's forehead. "See you in a couple hours. Love you."

"Love you both. Be safe and have fun."

Severus pointed out the back door. "Let's go, Harry."

They apparated to London and Severus took Harry's hand as they walked down the street in the crowd of people.

"Why-why do I have to hold your hand?"

"Because that's what three year olds have to do?"

"I'm almost four, but not yet."

"That's why you're holding my hand."

Harry looked around at buildings with fascination. "When I'm four I can walk by myself."

"No. Four year olds still have to hold their parents' hands."

"When I'm five I'll be whole hand old."

"Yep. Let's go in here." They walked through the pub and out the door. Severus tapped on the bricks.

"When I'm five I can walk by myself."

"No, five-year-olds still have to hold their mum and dad's hands when shopping and walking. Come along."

Harry sighed heavily. "How old until I can walk all by myself?"

"Maybe seven or eight. We'll get some ice cream first."

They walked into a shop with a pastel sign stacking scoops of ice cream. "Okay, Harry, what flavour do you want?"

"Um," he looked around at all the bins of ice cream. "Vanilla."

"Just plain vanilla or do you want another flavour with it?"

"Just vanilla with crunchies."

Severus nodded and turned to the counter. "We'll take two scoops of pure vanilla with rainbow crunchies."

"Ones that pop and fizz or melt in mouth crunchies?" The pudgy young woman asked from behind the glass counter.

"Melt in mouth. And I'll have a strawberry blueberry mix. Two scoops. They're to go."

The lady made their cones and Severus handed her money in exchange before handing Harry his cone. For the first couple of stores, Harry was busy with his ice cream and behaved well as a result. When they hit store three, things went sour as Harry had a meltdown over a lollipop.

Severus let out a huff, trying to not get angry. Harry's lip quivered and tears stained his red cheeks.

"I want it!" Harry whined.

"I said no." Severus's voice got dangerously low. "And don't ask again. We're getting a few supplies for my job and that's all."

Harry suddenly flopped onto the ground, his arms crossed.

"Get up." Severus hissed.

Harry shook his head. That did it for Severus. He yanked Harry to his feet and picked him up off to ground into his arms. Harry wailed as Severus took him to a small alleyway.

"That's enough!" Severus snapped and popped Harry on his behind before he yanked him down to the ground, which both startled and shocked Harry. "You will straighten up! No more fussing or crying, do you understand?"

Harry whimpered a little and made his voice barely a whisper. "But I want it."

"And what did I say?"

Harry recoiled. "No."

"No. My answer was no! We are _not_ getting any more treats today and that is my final answer and I won't change my mind! I need to get some supplies for my job to prepare for the autumn term. No more tantrums or whining or crying, do you understand?"

Harry sniffed. "What if I get hurt?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Get hurt?"

"Sometimes I cry when I get scraps and cuts."

Severus tilted his head slightly for a moment and then shook his head. "That's different. You know what I mean. I don't want any more meltdowns. Is that clear?"

Harry nodded. "Okay." He sniffed again. "Sorry."

Severus sighed and softened his expression as Harry put his arms around him for a hug. "It's fine. No more misbehaving." When Severus went to buy supplies at the fourth store, Harry was fine and seemed to have forgotten about the lollipop. Upon walking to Knockturn Alley, Harry nudged Severus's leg.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Severus shut his eyes. "Of course you do." He let out a huff. "Let's go back to the toilets in Diagon Alley." They walked back and Severus took Harry to the bathroom. As he stood outside the stall, he thought about his actions that day and as he recalled Harry's expression, he cringed. "_Don't be your father. You're not your father. Don't terrify your children. You can get them to behave without making them cower in fear of you. Don't make them afraid of you. You can be a better father than your own, Severus." _

_21 July 1984_

"There. You look pretty." Lily said softly to Ruby as she fixed the sleeve of a light lilac baby dress robe. She tied a small ribbon that matched the robe in her daughter's thick, black hair. "Now, you're perfect." Lily picked Ruby up into her arms and kissed her cheek before turning to Severus. "How's it coming?"

"Just fixing the ribbon." Severus picked Camellia up and put her to his shoulder. "Okay. They're ready for the christening."

Lily nodded and left the twins' bedroom. She passed the bathroom and looked in on Harry, who was in his room playing with a toy airplane, flying it around with his hand in the air and making sounds with his mouth to imitate a plane travelling. "I think it's time for the plane to land."

Harry turned to her and nodded. He made the plane land on the soft forest green carpet. "Okay. I'm ready."

"Did you go to the bathroom already?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay, then. Let's go. We don't want to be late."

Harry went ahead of Lily, hopping down the stairs. They went out the back door and apparated to the They went inside, the place already dimmed slightly with unlit candles and various items on a long mahogany table in the front of the room. Pollux and Vesta came over as they glimpsed around at the earthly decor.

"Oh, look. This is Camellia?"

"No, this is Ruby." Lily smiled. "Sev has Ella."

Severus rolled his eyes to the ceiling while they ooed and awed and spoke in baby talk to Camellia. She managed to coo a little back, but was barely alert at the moment. Noise did not startle them as much anymore and she did not seemed fazed by the attention at all. Ruby was the opposite, becoming fussy at the attention.

The doors to the chapel opened and a man who looked nearly identical to Pollux entered with a tall, slender blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman.

The man opened his arms wide. "Lily! Lovely as ever."

He gave her a hug, squeezing her tight. She managed a half hug back.

"Hey, Casper. How are you today?"

"Wonderful. Just wonderful. You look terrific. Is this little Ruby?"

Lily grinned. "Yes." Her look terrific? It helped that he couldn't see her stretched skin and baby weight she hadn't yet lost and that she had tidied up a bit for this ceremony, but she was low on sleep and knew he was likely just flattering her.

"Ah, she's a beauty, Lily. Just precious."

The woman peered over. "Oh, Lily, she's adorable. She's as beautiful as you. She's got your face and nose and eyes. Too bad none seemed to take your hair, dear."

Lily glanced down at Ruby, who was snuggled in her arms, sound asleep. "I like their hair. I've always liked dark hair."

"No, no. Dark hair is beautiful as well. They are absolutely beautiful-darling. Your hair's as beautiful, I just hoped one would have taken that gene." She winked at Lily. "But they all have your beautiful eyes I hear, so that works fine." She glanced at Severus, who was clearly straining to smile at Vesta talking a mile a minute. "What colour eyes does your husband have again? I don't think I've ever noticed before. Only met him once though."

"Uh, black. He's got black eyes, much like obsidians in that regard." Ruby squirmed slightly.

"Ah-hem." A small voice announced from the front. They all turned to look at the squat, nearly bald man peering over a podium. "Shall we begin? I'd like the parents to step forward."

"What about Harry?"

"Not at the moment. Step forward."

Severus and Lily moved to the platform. He had an item, deep russet and resembling a maraca with a leather handle similar to crocodile skin, in his hand. Placing the item on Lily's head, he chanted something in Latin and then did the same to Severus's head.

"Bless the mother and the father who've brought forth new life into our world."

"Actually," Severus interjected. "I didn't really do anything. She's the one who did all the work." He gestured his head toward Lily.

The man frowned and continued with a frustrated tone. "New life has entered the magical realm and you've been blessed with the responsibility to raise these two precious little ones into the amazing witches they will hopefully become."

Lily smiled at Severus. He managed a smile back, ready to get this over with.

"Now, it's time to christen your beautiful baby girls." He held his arms to Severus. "The brother may step forward now."

Severus grumbled and handed Ella to the man.

The man held Ella up, chanting once more for a solid two minutes before putting Ella down onto a table. He placed a necklace of twisted knots on her with a tiny tree at the end. Humming to himself, he stuck his finger in a jar with a paste as thick as honey and resembled mustard and swiped it across Camellia's forehead.

"That looks like the last nappy I changed." He whispered to Lily, who choked back a laugh.

"For strength and courage and wisdom and good health and happiness all the days of her life." As he put his hand to her mouth, Camellia sucked on the finger, then made a face signaling she did not find the taste of the concoction pleasant.

He cleared his throat again. "Today we dedicate Camellia Selene Snape to our world and announce her godparents Casper Apollo and Willa Grace Seneca."

Casper and Willa stepped forward and Willa took Camellia in her arms. The man chanted some words and handed Severus a slip of paper that officiated Camellia's godparents.

Finally, Severus took Camellia back and Lily handed Ruby to the man to do the same routine. Ruby was not as cooperative as Ella had been and cried the entire time. The man seemed a little annoyed at this and virtually yelled to be heard over the infant's wails, which both Lily and Severus found a tad amusing. Ruby started to howl at the taste of the concoction, which seemed to aggravate the man even more.

"Today we dedicate Ruby Maia Snape to our world and announce her godparents Pollux Silvanus and Vesta Isis Seneca."

Pollux and Vesta stepped forward and Vesta took Ruby into the arms while the man chanted words and handed Lily a slip of paper to officiate the ceremony. She settled a little once Vesta had taken her, but still whimpered. Lily took Ruby back shortly after and the man closed the session rather quickly.

"Seek light when there's darkness and may the children, their brother, their parents and godparents help to raise great and wise witches and their brother...he's destined for greatness as well...to be a great and powerful wizard."

Lily and Severus glanced at each other and then at Harry, who was talking excitedly to Willa about something.

"How-powerful?" Lily asked, the disquiet in her voice unmistakeable. "How do you know?"

The man nodded once curtly toward them. "I know. Something about him-he's going to be a great one."

Severus snarled his upper lip and put a hand on Lily's back. "He's just playing off the Boy-Who-Lived. Don't let him frighten you. Come on, Harry, time to go. We're going to go get some fish for lunch."

Lily gave a curt nod. "Yes, right. Being ridiculous." She thanked the twins' godparents and bid a parting before heading to the shop nearby for food.


	56. Chapter 56: Happy Birthday

_Thanks to __**Neo-digi, cara-tanaka, cmtaylor531, tricorvus, jpena, narutonarutolove, Gyoro and Ururun, Asphode21, megumisakura, ElmKey, TheJet, MarissaRosee, Phoenix1592, Ujemaima, Sev Snape's Girl, Eawynne, LionRawrr, lilyevans12681998, Teeibe, Isah Underhill, Vadoom, Saint Snape, GoldenPhoenix12, , anais, jeremygilbert12, Mrs Yaya,**__ and __**vgriffin4**__ for the reviews. _

_A/N: I know it's been a year since I updated this story on here and I apologize for that. I never intended to go so long without writing on these. Last summer got busy and then school started and my dad was diagnosed with a chronic disease and even during my winter break it was just one thing after another and school started again and when I had a few minutes, I just wanted to rest, not write. I had finals and right around that time my grandmother was ill and on and on and on. Finally, I feel I can breathe a little bit. Finally, I will get my degree in August. So, short explanation of why I have not been able to get an update until now. While I have not had a beta up to this point, I am considering getting one just to see any minor errors I may have missed since I am stretching thin lately. If anyone is up for the task, I would appreciate it. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this chapter. _

**Chapter 56:** Happy Birthday

_31 July 1984_

"Wake up, wake up." Harry pushed on Lily's shoulder.

Lily moaned as she opened her eyes. "Morning, Harry."

"It's today!"

Lily's lips curved up slightly. "Today? Is something special happening today?"

Harry nodded. "Yes."

"It's too hot to be Christmas." She sat up.

"No." Harry giggled.

"It's not Easter."

Harry's eyes gleamed, "No, better."

"I know what's better...Harry's Birthday!"

"Yea!"

"And old are you today?"

"Four." He held up his right hand.

Lily gently pushed his thumb in. "Four years old. You are getting old. How did you get so old so fast?"

Harry shrugged, "I dunno. I just keep getting older."

Severus chuckled, "Me too." He sat up and put his hand on his lower back with a light groan, "My back keeps reminding me."

"Mine too," Lily turned to Harry, "So what does the birthday boy want for breakfast?"

"Eggs! And bacon."

"Eggs and bacon it is." Lily gave Severus a pat on the arm as she walked by, "You want to start some laundry and change Ruby? Or feed and burp Camellia and fix breakfast?"

"They all sound so exciting I can't decide."

"Then you can do both and I will do the cleaning downstairs for the party." A cry pierced their ears, "Both babies need changed and I will feed and burp them after we eat."

"Perfect. Then I can change them all over again." Severus groaned as he stood up from the bed. He took his wand from the nightstand and gave it a flick over their bed, which instantly pulled the covers up and made the bed. "I'll dress and then change them."

"I'm hungry, Mum." Harry stated with a frustrated huff of impatience.

"I know you are. Why don't you go get dressed and then you can help me fix some bacon?" She tapped his lower back and he giggled as hurried out of their bedroom. "So..."

Severus turned to her from the closet as he put on a shirt, "So?"

"You ready for today?"

"I will be in garage with the twins."

"Thanks for the help." Lily huffed and headed out of the bedroom as Severus lifted Ruby out of her cradle. "And don't forget to start some laundry."

_2PM Same Day_

"I'll get it! I'll get it!" Harry yelled out as he bolted for the front door. "Remus!"

"Hey there, Harry! I hear it's your birthday today."

"Yea! What'd you bring me?"

"Harry!" Lily snapped from the kitchen doorway, "That's very impolite."

"I'm sorry. Can I please have my present?"

Remus laughed and Lily rolled her eyes. "In a bit."

"I'm sorry, Remus. He's a bit wound up today."

"He should be. Only turn 4 once."

"Come on in. We're just starting the party. Most of the children are in the backyard playing."

Remus stepped inside and Harry ran across the living room and into the kitchen to the back door. "Well, I'm not staying, just wanted to drop off Harry's gifts. One from me and one from Sirius."

"Better not be another ball. His Christmas gift permanently resides outside." Lily stated as she retrieved the gifts from Remus. "I'll go put these with the other presents and check on the children. Be right back."

Remus turned to Severus, who held Ruby in his arms while he fed her a bottle, "So, you got stuck with the baby-sitting duty."

"I don't think you baby-sit your own children. Lily's the one babysitting today."

Remus let out a small titter, "Yeah. Sounds like you have a lot of company. All, um, muggle children?"

"Yes, actually."

"You not let him play with wizard children?"

"No. He's in the muggle world. He's safer here and he doesn't know he's famous. Here he's a normal child, even if he is different than them."

"You can't hide him here forever, though."

"He'll know one day, when the time is right. Lily and I agreed that raising him here in the muggle world is what is best for Harry. He will go to school and have friends and none of those friends are only trying to be his friend because he's the boy who survived the curse. Muggles know nothing of our world and they don't know about You-Know-Who and only the neighbours and his preschool know who he is. That's the important thing."

Before Remus could speak, Lily entered the living room, "Oh, Remus, can you help me for a moment with the cake and ice cream since Severus is busy?"

Remus cleared his throat, "Sure. No problem."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." She grabbed the cake off the counter and set it on the table, "I'm going to put on the candle and light them up. Can you watch the children a moment? Just see that they aren't killing each other or something until I get the cake ready? They are getting impatient for cake."

Remus nodded and looked out the back door, "So, you plan to send Harry to muggle school?"

Lily turned to Remus with four unlit blue candles in her hand, "What?"

"Severus says you are sending Harry to muggle school. He's been going to a muggle preschool?"

Lily put a candle in the chocolate frosting of the cake and cleared her throat, "Yes. I think it's for the best. We think it's for the best for Harry. He-He'll blend in with his neighbours. He'll-he's like your typical child that way. Besides, no one here knows Harry as anyone except the three-year-old in the neighbourhood. Well, now he's four, but he was three. Just your average child."

"But he's a wizard."

"I grew up in a muggle home and went to a muggle school. I was a witch. It won't matter much. He'll still go to Hogwarts when he's 11 like we all did." She lit the candles with a flick of her wand. "There, can you open the door for me. Severus! We're ready!"

Severus entered the room with both twins half a minute later and followed Lily outside.

"Happy Birthday, Harry." Lily set the cake on the table in front of Harry as he nearly bounced out of his chair. "Make a wish and blow out your candles, sweetheart."

Harry leaned over the cake and closed his eyes for a moment and then blew out the three of the candles.

"One more blow." Remus spoke

With a heavy breath, the last candle blew out and nearly blew over onto the top of the cake.

"What'd you wish for?" A little sandy-haired boy a little taller than taller asked.

"He can't tell you his wish. Then it won't come true, duh!" A small, dark brown, curly haired, toffee-skinned girl Harry's age blurted out.

"Okay, we'll give Harry the first piece and then everyone else can have a piece too. And we have some ice cream too."

"I want a big piece!" A strawberry-blonde boy called out at the other end of the table.

"Me too!" Several other children started to shout out.

"Everyone will get a piece of cake and ice cream if they want it. And after we eat, we'll let Harry open his presents." Lily cut the cake uneasily, since she had not cut it the muggle way for several years.

"Well, I best be going now. Goodbye, Harry. Lily. Severus."

"You sure you don't want to stick around for presents? Don't want a slice of cake or anything?"

"No, no. I'm fine. I need to get back to my dad. He's back in the hospital again."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You sure you don't want or need anything?"

"No, but thanks. I'll see you all around." Remus went into the house and disappeared around the corner.

Lily turned back to the group of seven children, "So, who wants ice cream?"

"Me!" Seven hands shot up in the air.

"Okay. We have chocolate, strawberry and vanilla."

As the children placed their orders, Lily turned to Severus, who was trying to calm a fussy Camellia, "I'm glad we are going out for dinner tonight because I'm too tired to cook anything."

"Me too. He wants to get fish and chips?" Severus patted the infant's back softly.

"As far as I know. Unless he changed his mind, but I doubt it." She sighed, "I just hate leaving the girls, even for a little while."

"They'll be fine. Charles and Gertrude do a great job with Harry; they raised four of their own. They'll be fine. It's only for an hour."

"I know. It's just the first time I've left them with someone else."

"I'd worry more about the overload of sugar you are giving to a group of preschoolers. Glutton for punishment clearly."

_5:20PM_

"And here's the number of the restaurant and um, bottles are on the counter and the binkies are on the top drawer of their dresser."

Gertrude gently bounced Ruby, "I know dear, you already told me. I promise you they will be just fine. It's hard to leave your babies alone with someone else the first time. I know as I've done it few times." She looked at Ruby's face, "Besides, I miss holding babies in my arms. Been some time and only grandchildren are growing up fast. Been a few years since I held an infant. We'll make sure they all get lots of attention and are well fed and changed and sleepy by the time you get home, won't we, Ruby? Yes, we will. So your mum and dad can rest when they get back and not need to worry about that stuff."

"I appreciate this very much, really."

"It's no trouble at all. You know I love children. Taught school in my younger years. I would have had a dozen if Charlie would have let me."

"And who would pay for all those dozen children. Four ate through my wallet as it was." Charlie scoffed as he pushed Camellia gently in her swing.

"Go have fun and make it a fun birthday for Harry."

"Come on, Lily. It's nearly 5:30. Let's go, Harry." Severus stated as he nearly pushed Lily out the door.

"I want lots of chips to eat."

"Me too," Lily smiled, "I'm starving. Let's see how many chips you can eat?"

"A hundred infinity ton of chips."

"You plan to eat some fish with your chips as well?" Severus asked as they entered the restaurant.

Harry giggled, "Yes."

"That'd be a good idea. Chips alone aren't dinner, let's go find a table while your mum orders our food."

"I'd eat just chips for dinner, but you won't let me."

"That would poor parenting on our part to allow you to only eat chips and crisps for meals."

"But it's my birthday."

"And you had cake, ice cream, sweets, crisps and other junk today. I think you have had junk overload for the day. Not to mention that fish and chips are not exactly the healthiest food to eat."

"What's overload mean?"

"Too much stuff. Like that toy box of yours after today."

Lily set a plate in front of Harry, "Lots of chips and some fish on the side for the birthday boy."

Harry dug into the chips and started to stuff them into his mouth.

"Easy there. You're gonna give yourself a belly ache eating that fast." Lily shook her head with a slight huff and Harry continued to gorge himself on the chips.

"No need to teach him that lesson. His stomach will do it for him. Besides, all this sugar and junk now will make him crash later and he'll be worn out tonight."

After Harry had eaten most of his fish and chips, he pushed his chair back, "Okay, I'm ready to go to the park now."

"Woah, there. We're not finished eating yet. We still have plenty of daylight left." Severus stated and motioned for Harry to sit down.

Harry let out a dramatic huff and watched them until they finished their dinner. "Okay, now let's go. C'mon." He tugged at Lily's arm.

"Okay, okay. We have to clean up and then we'll go."

Harry waited by the door with his arms crossed and tapped his foot impatiently while Severus and Lily cleared the table and threw away the trash.

"I told you were a glutton for punishment today." Severus whispered.

"The park should help him calm down. He's still on a party high."

0o0o0o

_**A/N: **It took me a bit to figure out this new format to upload chapters. They switched it all up on me while I was gone, but I finally figured it out (obviously)._


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